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At the age of ten, young Joshua Dun discovered he possessed a rare and unusual talent. He could bring the dead back to life.
However, there were rules to this talent, and Josh did not know all of them at the time being. When he watched a small bird fall out of a tree and onto the sidewalk, he touched it out of comfort and took a step back when it flew away, healthy once more before his young eyes. What he didn’t notice was the other bird that dropped dead from behind him.
Josh did not lead an uttermost difficult life for a child, and he often wondered where this rare and unusual talent had come from. He had two sisters, one brother, and a mother and father who loved him very much. He even had a best friend who lived across the street. This “best friend” of young Joshua’s was Tyler Joseph, a scrawny, tiny thing who often spent his time throwing basketballs into hoops. Josh would watch him from bedroom window, which overlooked the Joseph’s backyard, and daydream about he and Tyler taking over the world and crushing evil beneath his feet. The only problem with this dream of young Joshua’s was that he had not uttered a single word to Tyler Joseph out of fear of mockery. His parents often mingled, but alas, the best friends were nothing more than distant acquaintances.
Josh wondered if Tyler possessed a gift like him. He assumed not, but continued to watch his agile body move with each basket. At the tender age of ten, young Joshua Dun had a developing crush on his neighbour.
On December 1st at approximately 8:03 am, there was a knock at the door, and when Josh opened it, Tyler Joseph stood on his doorstep with a purple envelope in his hand.
“Hello,” he said, and Josh blinked to make sure this was actually happening. “Today is my birthday. I’m ten.”
Josh wanted to tell the young boy that he had been ten for a long time but only nodded his head. “That’s cool.”
“I was wondering if you would want to come to my birthday party. It’s today at noon, but you can come over now if you want to. I can show you the piano. It’s very big.”
Josh could not believe this. The Tyler Joseph had asked him to come over. This was huge. This was big. This was Josh’s dream. He began to fantasize of getting to hold Tyler’s hand as they watched a movie, maybe the two would reach into the same popcorn tin and gaze longingly into one another’s eyes-
“Josh?”
The thought bubble burst into a million pieces and Josh grinned. “Yeah. I’d love to. Let me tell my mom and grab my shoes.”
But when Josh went to tell his mother of his play date, he found her on the floor, surrounded by flour and pie filling. He stared for a few seconds, unable to comprehend the fact that she had died.
Here were the facts:
- Laura Dun was 35 years old, 45 days, 6 minutes, and 38 seconds old when a blood vessel burst in her brain, killing her instantly.
- The rest of her family were out of the house, all besides Josh.
- She had been in the middle of making a pie for the Joseph’s.
And knowing the rare and unusual talent Josh possessed, he tapped his mother’s forehead, and she beamed at him from the floor.
“Oh, hello there Josh. I must have fallen.” And she popped right back up and went back to making her pie.
This is the part where Josh learned that his talent had consequences, and for his mother’s life cost the life of another; in this particular case, it was Tyler’s father. If Josh did not touch this deceased person within a minute, another would die.
Josh never did get to go over for Tyler’s birthday party, but several ambulances and firetrucks did. And when Josh’s mother leaned down to kiss him goodnight after a long and stressful day, she too dropped down dead. Touch a dead thing once, life. Touch a dead thing twice, death.
Permanently.
Josh never did get the chance to tell Tyler he was responsible for the death of his father, but on the bright and sunny morning of December 13th at 9:09 am, Josh looked away from his mother’s coffin briefly to see that Tyler Joseph had a similar idea. And so they met, right in the middle, and Tyler held his hand.
This is the part where Josh experienced his first kiss from his childhood sweetheart, and with grief in his chest, the two were forced to separate.
Josh was to move to the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio where he was forced to attend a strict Christian school in which he often got in trouble, and Tyler moved to a place unknown to Josh. Young Joshua Dun was never to see the love of his life ever again.
Or so he thought.
At 27 years, 39 days, 43 minutes, and 22 seconds Josh worked in a music store to pay his rent. He was a quiet man, one who tried to prove himself intimidating by dying his hair, piercing his nose, gauging his ears and decorating his arm with a splash of colour. His neighbours hated him because he played the drums too loudly and roughly and once when he was going to throw his garbage away a man fell off a roof. He was dead for no more than three seconds, as he hand brushed Josh’s face, and with a nervous gasp the man took off running, but Josh managed to catch him. This was when he met Mark Eshleman.
The facts were these:
- At 28 years, 64 days, 36 minutes and 23 seconds Mark was one of the youngest private investigators in the business.
- He invited Josh into a deal, one in which Josh would bring the dead back to life for a minute in order for the pair to find the murderer and collect the award.
- The man would never admit it, but for a stone cold PI Mark considered Josh his best friend.
Josh’s life wasn’t the best, but it was what he knew, and it paid the rent. He never thought twice about the dead bodies he spoke too. Until of course, Mark took him to the deceased body of Tyler Joseph.
At 27 years, 45 days, 55 minutes, and 59 seconds Tyler had simply found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. The man posed as the lead singer of a local band on tour for the first time in other states, and the members had scrounged enough for a dirty room at a two star motel. Tyler had gone to get ice, per his friend’s request, and found himself witness to a murder. Right in the hallway was a body belonging to a person who had been killed. He was then strangled to death by a plastic Walmart shopping bag.
In his last dying breaths, Tyler decided his murder was pretty ironic, considering Wal-Mart was a terrible place as it was. He also decided that touring sucked.
Mark did not know Josh knew this person, nor did he know this person was Josh’s childhood sweetheart. All he knew was that there was a $50,000 reward for information of Tyler Joseph’s killer and Mark wanted that.
“You get one minute. No lollygagging. No freaking out.”
Josh stared at the coffin and decided he did not like this at all. “Do you mind if I do this one by myself?”
Mark raised an eyebrow but did not move from his spot on the old carpet of the funeral home. “Why?”
“I uhm, kind of know this person. It’s a closure thing.”
“You get one minute,” Mark repeated, pointing a finger, “Fifty thousand dollars Josh. That’s a lot of money.”
“Yeah yeah, I know,” He mumbled, shooing the private eye out of the room. With Mark gone, Josh opened the coffin to the beautiful face of Tyler Joseph. He was dressed in a black suit with a purple tie, a purple the exact same colour as that cursed envelope when the two were ten.
The drummer then made the hard decision of deciding where he should touch Tyler to wake him up. The lips were too forward, the forehead was a little strange... ah! The cheek!
And with a yellow spark Tyler was gasping for air and sitting up quickly, his head hitting the edge of the coffin. “Ow.”
“Tyler,” Josh spoke, looking down at his watch, “I need you to tell me who killed you.”
“I’m dead?” Tyler looked around the room. “Oh my god. I’m dead. Wait. Josh?”
“Hey Tyler,” Josh said a little softer this time, a hint of a smile on his lips. “It’s been a while.” Mark's voice echoed in his head but Josh didn’t care. He hadn’t talked to Tyler in well over ten years.
“Are you dead too?”
“No. But I’m here to help you get justice. Now what can you tell me about your killer?”
“B-but your hair, you look so different!”
“Focus!”
“Oh. Uhm, he was wearing a mask. I got strangled with a plastic bag. That’s like, the worst way to go.” 22 seconds .
“So you have no idea who killed you.”
“No. I’m sorry.” Josh sighed. Dead end.
“It was really good to see you again Tyler.”
“You mean you have to go?”
“Yeah. It’s time for you to be put to rest.” Josh wasn’t sure why he felt ready to cry.
“Will you kiss me? I think it only fits if that’s the way I go back to being dead. You remember the funeral?”
“You were my first kiss.”
“Then kiss me again dammit.”
Josh leaned forward to fulfill Tyler’s request, but the drummer’s lips would only stretch so far. He only had ten seconds left to make Tyler dead before someone else died. Josh, however, could not do it.
“What if you didn’t have to die?”
“What?”
“You can live life again.”
“How does that work?”
“Just, wait.” They stood for those ten more seconds, and with a sigh Josh let his watched wrist hang limply by his side.
In the room next door, an unfortunate funeral attender passed away, not knowing it was because they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
“So you can bring dead people back to life? Have you always been able to do this?”
“Eh, sort of.” Josh shoved his hands deep in his pocket to avoid accidentally touching the love of his life. Tyler, however, did not seem to get the hint and reached out to hug him. Josh stepped away. “I can’t touch you. I touch you and bam, you’re dead again.”
“Oh. Alright.” Tyler smiled, because he was thankful, but inside the singer was screaming. How on earth was he supposed to be with the love of his life if he couldn’t touch him?
With a sigh, Josh looked towards the door and gestured to the coffin. “Get back in. I’ll find a way to get you out of here.”
“Right.” Tyler hopped back in the coffin and Josh dropped the lid right as Mark burst into the room.
“Your minute is up, what do you have?”
“He doesn’t know who his killer is. The man was wearing a mask.”
“Dammit. This is going to be harder than I thought.” Mark grumbled under his breath and grabbed Josh by the arm. “Alright, let’s get out of here. I hate funerals.”
“Do you mind if I have a little bit more time with him? It’s just, we were friends, and I have some more words I want to get off my chest.”
“Whatever,” Mark rolled his eyes. “I’ll meet you back at your apartment.”
“Sounds good,” Josh agreed, and the minute Mark left he took off running to the plot of land Tyler was to buried to wait. In all honestly, the drummer had made a very impulsive decision he was sure he would pay for later in life, but to let the person he loved die again was not something he could have done. He didn’t like to touch people as it was so that was always an added plus. Josh also needed to figure out what exactly he was going to tell Mark when he came home with a plus one.
A mile away was Tyler’s place of burial, the place that Josh ran to under the hot sun in a black suit. This is crazy , he thought. I’m crazy!
But the singer did not find Joshua Dun himself crazy per say, because he was currently laying in a coffin pretending to be dead (well, technically he was already dead) as two men piled dirt over him. Of course he found the situation crazy, that the man he had a crush on since the beginning had the power to bring back the dead. Tyler felt like sleeping beauty when the coffin opened to reveal his ever so sparkling Prince Charming with brown doe eyes and a wide smile.
“Hey,” Josh said, and Tyler grinned back.
“Hey yourself.”
“How about we get out of here?”
“That sounds good.” And with that, the two left the graveyard, each with a sense of pride stirring in their chests.
---
Next door to Josh’s apartment lived a woman by the name of Debby Ryan who was 23 years, 20 days, 12 hours, and 13 seconds old and also worked at the music store under Josh’s management. She was a petite, fierce girl, who was stressed about the fact that Joshua Dun never quite seemed to pay attention to her. In fact, he never even wanted to touch her, and that left Debby scratching her head.
So when Josh showed up to his apartment door covered in sweat with another man in tow, she was a little suspicious. One, because she had only ever saw one man come over to Josh’s place and that was Mark, and two, because Josh really didn’t have any friends. It never crossed her mind that he might have been gay.
“Hi Josh,” Debby giggled, waving the tips of her fingers, and Josh nodded her way.
“Debby,” he acknowledged as he put his house key into the lock.
“Who’s this? You two look fancy.”
“Funeral,” Josh muttered, thinking a very loud hurrah when the lock kicked. It wasn’t that he disliked Debby, no, she was very kind and he liked that about her, but now was not the time, or the place.
“I’m Tyler,” Tyler introduced himself, offering a handshake and Josh grumbled. Great. Now he’d have to explain that to an already overly attached Debby.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Tyler, how about we go inside?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure.” And with a polite smile to say goodbye, the two shuffled inside to see Mark sitting patiently on the sofa. When he noticed the dead man, or rather, the man who was supposed to be dead, his jaw locked up, his eye twitched, and Josh knew he was doomed.
Mark pushed himself off of the couch slowly and smiled a tight, terrifying smile. “Joshua?”
“Yes Mark?”
“Why is there a dead man in your apartment?”
“Am I technically still considered dead if I can breathe?”
“You,” Mark pointed a finger Tyler’s direction, “Do not get to speak.”
“Hey, be nice.” warned Josh, and with an agitated sigh Mark grabbed Josh by the arm and pulled him into the hall closet. At this moment, the drummer knew there was no way to get out of this one.
“You had one minute to get me information,” Mark spoke in hushed whispers, “One minute. And now the strangled lead singer of some crappy local band is standing in the middle of your apartment.”
“I couldn’t let him be dead Mark, he was my best friend.”
“You haven’t spoken to him in years Josh.”
“So? There was a lot of unfortunate events that drew us apart, but fate brought us together again!”
Mark proceeded to use this time to smack Josh upside the head. “Are you listening to yourself right now? Fate? This is real world, the cruel world, not some stupid fairy tale! Fifty Thousand dollars Joshua! How many times do I have to remind you that that’s a lot of money?”
Josh rubbed the sore spot on his head vigorously.“I know it’s a lot of money, but I couldn’t do it. And we can still collect the money you know. Tyler won’t be a problem.”
“What if he wants in?”
“We can’t split $50,000 three ways?”
“I oughta kill you Josh Dun, and see how you like it.”
“Are you guys done arguing yet?” Tyler called from outside and like two guilty children the drummer and private eye filed out of the closet.
“We need to speak. All three of us,” Mark grumbled through gritted teeth and he dropped back down to Josh’s sofa only to shove his head in his hands.
“Alright. What do you want to talk about?” Tyler was still smiling, and when Josh and him locked eyes a red blush spread throughout Josh’s cheeks. Mark would have groaned if he hadn’t been too busy wishing his partner wasn’t an idiot.
“Tyler, can you explain everything you remember about the night you were murdered?”
“Hmm. Well, I was on tour with my band. We sound pretty good, you’ll have to listen sometime.”
“No thanks,” Mark muttered.
“Anyways, we had made enough money to stay the night in an actual bed instead of sleeping in the van, so we found this old run down motel to stay the night in. The show here in Columbus went really well, so we were celebrating. Nick, he’s one of members of my band, had bought this cheap bottle of champagne and they wanted me to go get ice. So I walked out of my room and down the hallway to get ice when I stopped in the middle of the hall to find a dead body. It was something right out of a horror movie, you know, real creepy stuff. So I turned around to go tell my friends because at the time that’s who I expected to help me and instead I met my fate with a Walmart bag. I’m a little offended by that. The least he could have done was strangle me with a Target bag.”
“So the man probably wanted to get rid of witnesses.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Mark added, finally free from his hand prison. He stood up and began pacing Josh’s small living room.
“If it’s so reasonable, why did Tyler’s record label offer a $50,000 reward for his killer? That sounds suspicious.”
“I have a $50,000 reward for my killer?” Tyler’s eyes lit up in surprise and Mark once again looked ready to strangle Josh.
“Yeah,” he growled, still looking at Josh. “There is.”
“Were you new to the label?”
“Yeah, they came to us and asked. There were some other good bands on it so I assumed we struck gold.”
“So riddle me this: why would a record label offer such a large amount of money for a band nobody knows about?”
Tyler pouted. “Hey.”
“That’s a very good question,” Mark continued, waving his hands all around. “It’s almost like they offered such a large reward to cover something up. Maybe they believed the murderer wouldn’t be found because no one was around to find him.”
“So we need to find the body of the person that Tyler saw.”
“I would think so. Oh praise the lord, we can still get this money.”
“Well wait a minute, don’t you think I should get some? I was killed you know.”
Mark shot Josh another death stare, almost as to say What did I tell you?
“I think it’s only fair,” Josh answered, continuing to watch Mark’s over the top facial expressions.
“30-30-40? I get more cause I’m dead.”
Mark opened his mouth to speak, but Josh beat him to the punch. “Sounds good to me.”
“Sweet. Now let’s go find a dead body.” Tyler prepared to stand up when Mark pushed him back down.
“No way are we having the walking dead come with us.”
“He’s been helpful Mark.”
“Yeah, I’ve been helpful!”
The private investigator looked between his partner and the dead man with fury burning behind his eyes. He came to the conclusion that even though he was receiving less money this way Tyler was still a great deal of help. And so he gave in. “Fine.”
Tyler and Josh both cheered as Mark scowled. “I’ll be in the car.”
“We’ll be there. I’m going to change and find Tyler some new clothes.” With a nod, Mark left, leaving the childhood sweethearts alone. Josh cleared his throat and gestured to his bedroom. “I uh, have clothes that’ll probably fit you.”
“Cool.” Tyler followed Josh to his room, careful to not get close enough for any skin to touch. When he noticed the drumset in the corner of Josh’s room, Tyler’s face lit up. “You play drums?”
“I dabble.”
“We could have totally started a band together.”
Josh scoffed, pausing in his search to find Tyler a shirt his size. “I guess we could have.”
“So what did you do after the funeral?” he looked around Josh’s room with awe, noting the unmade bed and posters that lined his walls.
“Moved to the suburbs of Columbus. I moved further into the city after I graduated high school.”
“You were here in Columbus? So was I! In the city actually.”
At this moment in time, it occurred to the drummer that he could have interacted with the love of his life at any time if he would have known Tyler was so close. And now he was never allowed to touch Tyler again. Mark had been right about the real world being cruel.
Josh laughed it off. “Wow. We were always so close.” He paused to toss a pair of jeans and a black skeleton pattern shirt his way. “There you go. Hopefully those fit.”
“I like the skeleton. Reminds me of the fact that I was supposed to be one.” With a sigh, Tyler started peeling off his suit and out of embarrassment Josh swiveled around. “Are you one of those people who can’t stand to see other people change?”
“I’m just trying to give you some privacy. I mean, technically we didn’t know each other very well.”
“Are you telling me you didn’t watch me shoot hoops through your bedroom window?” The singer had a smirk on his face when Josh turned back around, and he was quite surprised to see that Tyler had tattoos of his own.
“Playing basketball tells me you liked basketball.”
“And watching me through your window tells me you liked being an inclusive creep.”
“Touche.”
For a total of 2 minutes and 34 seconds the lovers stared at one another, taking in the appearances of new faces. Tyler pulled the sheet off of Josh’s bed and threw it over himself.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m a ghost, obviously. Boo.”
Josh rolled his eyes, and a thought crossed him. Tyler wasn’t displaying any skin. Which meant...
The singer flinched when Josh wrapped a hand around his bicep and lips pressed to his through the sheet. They kissed for another minute, up until Josh’s phone rang, startling them. With a groan Josh pulled away and reached for his cell.
“What?”
“What the hell are you two doing in there?”
“We’re coming.”
“You better.” Click went the phone line, and as Josh shoved his phone back into his pocket Tyler pulled the bedsheet off and tried to tame his crazy hair.
“That was nice.”
“Yes it was nice. It was very nice.”
“Close enough we’ll ever get then, huh?”
Josh beamed, letting his head hang to hide his blush. “I’ll think of more ways.”
“I kind of dig punk Josh. Puberty did you well, huh?”
“Oh shut up. Mark wants us out there.”
“You didn’t change.”
“I had better things to do,” Josh replied, and with a nod of his head Tyler followed him down the hallway and out the apartment.
And when the two climbed into Mark’s car, Tyler in the back and Josh in the passenger seat, Mark glared at Josh. “You’re still in your suit.”
“I forgot.”
“Mhmm,” Mark muttered as he started the car, but he didn’t say anything about the googley eyes the two were making at each other.
---
“One minute,” Mark whispered as he watched Josh set his watch.
“Do you seriously think I don’t know this by now?” Josh quipped.
“I’m excited,” Tyler said to nobody.
The good thing about having Mark as his partner meant he had a lot of connections, and that’s why they now stood in the morgue over the body of a Urie, Brendon Boyd. After Mark unzipped the body bag, it was revealed that this Brendon was blue and red from the work of livor and rigor, and the lines from the rope he was strangled with remained bright around his neck.
The facts were these:
- Brendon Urie, the lead singer of his own band, had not been touring at the time of his death. In fact, he had been visiting Columbus for reasons only he knew.
- He was 29 years, 51 days, 2 hours, and 11 seconds old at the night of the murder. The truth was, he had not died in the motel, but somewhere else. His body wasn’t supposed to be brought into the motel, but after a miscommunication it was left there.
- He was apart of the same record label Tyler was.
“I know this guy,” Tyler said, his hands fidgeting by his sides, “he’s on the same record label as me.”
“Ding ding ding,” Mark murmured as he slapped Josh on the back. “No offense to Rick Grimes over here, but that record label is hella shady.” Tyler narrowed his eyes.
“Can I do my thing or what?” Josh asked impatiently, his eyes still on his watch. Mark nodded.
“Go ahead.”
And with that, Josh tapped Brendon on the nose and stepped back when the man gasped for air.
“Jesus Christ, I never thought this day would come.”
“Welcome to heaven Mr. Urie, can you tell me who killed you?”
“Wait, I actually made it into heaven? They must let everyone in here nowadays.” Mark snorted, and Josh rolled his eyes.
“You have a minute to tell us who killed you so we can find you justice.”
“When’s my minute start?”
“Ten seconds ago,” Josh replied, glancing back down at his watch.
“Fine. Well, I came to Columbus on vacation because I was tired of Vegas and touring and I needed a getaway. And I know what you’re thinking: Columbus? Why Columbus? And the answer is that it was cheap plane ticket. Anyways, I thought someone was following me when I was walking back to my hotel one night, and then this guy decides to choke me to death with rope. After that, I can’t tell you.”
“What did he look like?”
“He had a mask on. Like one of those ski masks. What are they called?”
“Balaclavas,” Tyler added, and Brendon pointed at him.
“This guy knows. Anyways after that I was-” Unfortunately none of them would ever know what Brendon was doing because he was once again nothing but a corpse thanks to Josh’s touch.
“His body was put in the motel,” Mark thought aloud, watching Josh fidget as he zipped the body bag back up. “He wasn’t killed there. Now why on earth would someone try and dispose of a dead body in a motel full of residents?”
“A motel that I was killed in,” Tyler continued. “Maybe it was an accident. Maybe there were multiple people working together. Maybe-”
“Maybe we should go speak with Tyler’s record label,” Josh offered, wiping his hands on his suit jacket. Man, did he hate touching dead people.
“That sounds like a great idea,” Mark agreed as he moved to hold open the door. “Let’s go catch us a killer.”
---
Fueled By Ramen, a small label based out of New York City, was a label gaining much attention by the public. After all, they housed some very talented bands. What the label didn’t want the public to know was that they had a curse, a curse in which some band members disappeared, never to be seen again.
The label had approached Tyler with the notion that they could gain a ton of cash off his talent, and at the surprise that their little Ohio based band had gained the attention of a label the three decided it was the best idea to sign on.
Until of course, Tyler was murdered.
What Tyler failed to mention to his partners was that the label was based out of New York City, and for him to speak with an agent, they would have to travel to said city.
“What do you think we are, made of money? We have jobs.” Mark paced wildly, his hands stretched far above his head. “We can’t up and leave to New York.”
“If we want to solve two murders and avoid having anyone else killed then we better,” Josh argued as he started shoving clothes into a duffel bag. “It’s only an eight hour drive. We can take turns.”
“I can help,” Tyler added quietly.
“Are we seriously about to do this?”
“Yep,” replied Josh with a pop of the p. He swung his bag over his shoulder. “Are we taking your car?”
Mark grumbled under his breath as he pushed open Josh’s bedroom door.
The drive to New York City wasn’t the worst drive Josh had ever been on. The one after his mother’s death was much, much worse, and as he was the one currently driving, Tyler got to sit next to him. Mark was clunked out in the back seat, soft snores pouring from his little detective mouth.
“Do you think we can actually get away with catching the guy who killed me?” Tyler asked, his hands fiddling in his lap. Josh shrugged.
“I hope so. It’ll be nice to find some closure.”
“Closure,” Tyler repeated with a sigh. “It makes me kind of sad I’ll never be able to visit my family again. My poor mother lost her husband and me.”
The drummer thought at this moment that he should probably tell Tyler he was the reason Mr. Joseph passed away, but the words would not leave his chapped lips for the fear of Tyler’s hatred towards him. So Joshua Dun kept his mouth shut. “I understand that feeling. I haven’t visited my family in years.”
“Why not?”
“They didn’t like me very much. I was a bad kid.”
“That doesn’t mean they don’t like you. A family will always love you, you know?”
“Sure.” a sigh. “How’d you get into music?”
“I realized I needed an outlet, and music made me feel better. Seeing people enjoy my music made me feel like I had a purpose in life. I was helping people.”
“Was that your first tour?”
“My first out of state tour. Although we didn’t make it too far, considering I was murdered right here in my hometown.” Tyler scoffed loudly and turned to face the window with its passing city lights. “I wish we would have found each other earlier. I would have formed a band with you instead.”
“Who says I would have joined you?”
“Me. Because you were obsessed with me.”
Josh’s mouth dropped. “I was not!”
Tyler began laughing behind his hands. “Was too. Besides, what do you even do now?”
“I’m the manager of a music store.”
“And you’re telling me you wouldn’t give that up to play drums on tour.”
“I dunno, that’s never happened.”
“Maybe we can start a band in which we list the members as Joshua Dun and the ghost of Tyler Joseph.”
“That doesn’t sound inviting whatsoever.”
“I tried.” They burst into soft laughter once more, laughter than faded into the soft hum of the radio. “We’re going to gain you some justice Ty, if it’s the last thing I do.”
The singer knew that Josh was not lying. He had known the determination the drummer possessed even when they were children, and that was one of the main reasons he fell in love with Joshua Dun.
---
“We want to speak with the CEO of Fueled by Ramen,” demanded Mark as he pounded a fist on the secretary’s desk. She looked at him with a raise of an eyebrow and smacked her gum.
“If you have anything you want us to listen to, tough luck. That’s not going to happen.”
“What? No. We just have some questions about some missing people. Brendon Urie and Tyler Joseph. Ever heard of them?”
“Nope,” she smacked her gum again and went back to click clacking her pink nails on the keyboard.
“Funny, considering they were both lead singers of bands listed on the label.”
“Who said they were missing?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe their dead corpses in the morgue.” Tyler adjusts his sunglasses and hood at the mention of his dead body, and Josh squeezes his gloved hand. (Just one glove on each of their hands, because Josh wanted an excuse to hold the singer’s hand, and maybe Tyler agreed that they could bring back the Michael Jackson look.)
The secretary’s eyes widened and narrowed once more. “Who’s asking?” And with annoyed sigh, the private investigator pulled out his badge. “Mark Eshleman, private investigator. Let me talk to the man.”
“Y-Yes sir.” with a nervous swallow, she stood up and gestured for the group to follow. She led them to a waiting room three floors up and pointed to the line of chairs pushed up against one wall of the room. The room itself, a tiny little thing with a handful of magazines and flickering lights, looked like something oddly suspicious. “I’ll tell him right away.”
“Thank you ma’am.” And with that, she was gone.
“This isn’t shady at all,” Josh deadpanned as he shifted in his seat.
“I’ve sat here before. It’s not that bad. Mr. Easterlin is nice.”
“Unless he’s a killer,” Mark muttered.
“It can’t be him. Why would he be killing the people making him money?”
The door opened, and out walked a man in a tight, chic black suit. Tyler pulled his hood farther over his face and ducked his head. “Detective, I heard you had some questions. Please, come in.”
Mark beckoned to Josh and they both stood up when the CEO clucked his tongue. “Maybe just you Mr. Eshleman, if that’s fine.”
“He’s my partner,” Mark argued, still looking at Josh. Mr. Easterlin shook his head.
“Just the detective.”
“Right.” Mark mouthed “sorry” and followed the man through the door, Josh shivering when they slammed shut.
“I don’t like him at all.”
“He’s nice.”
“He’s shifty.” Josh moved towards the office door and leaned his ear up against it, his brow furrowed in concentration. He could make out only some words as Mark asked his questions.
“Josh.”
“Look Tyler, you can tell me all you want but let it be known that I’m not going to believe you until we find someone else to put the blame on.”
“Josh!”
“What?” Josh turned around to find the barrel of a gun in his face. Click.
The drummer realized that this masked man pointing the gun in his face most likely worked for the record label and most likely was the person who murdered two lead singers of bands on the label. He also realized that he was most likely going to die, and Mark was locked in an office with a crazy mad man.
“Don’t move,” the masked man demanded, his voice muffled by the fabric of his balaclava. Josh raised his hands above his head slowly, a sarcastic response on the tip of his tongue that he realized would not be the most appropriate response to a man with a gun pointed at his face. Out of the corner of his eye Josh could see Tyler was handcuffed to his chair, and another thought crossed his mind. How the hell did he not hear this guy?
“Before you kill me and my friend here, can I ask you a question? Aren’t people going to hear the gunshot?”
“Silencer.”
“But why strangle two others and shoot me? Sounds kind of messy if I say so myself.”
The man growled. “I’m only hired to get the job done. It’s not my problem if people like you get in the way.”
“Kind of failed over here,” Tyler quipped and the man swung his head back around.
“Oh yeah? Then maybe I should do it right this time,” and the gun moved towards Tyler, Josh’s breath lodging in his throat. No, not again.
He squeezed his eyes shut and prepared for death as a gunshot went off.
Except this one was loud, and not muffled by a silencer, and a body hit the floor that was not Josh nor Tyler. When the two looked towards the door, Mark stood grinning, his gun held in outstretched hands, and the CEO of record label evil handcuffed to his own desk.
“Fifty grand,” Mark chuckled, holstering his gun. “Fifty grand.”
Here were the facts:
- The CEO of Fueled by Ramen was an incredibly smart man, and realized the more bands he signed on to his growing label, the more royalties he received.
- Mr. Easterlin was a greedy man, and discovered that if one member of the band were to say, disappear, he would get more royalties on top of an insurance policy.
- Brendon had been the first to go, and Easterlin had hired a hitman to follow him around and kill him when the time was right. The body was left in his trunk too long, as the hitman was never informed where to stash the body.
- After enlisting the help of another, hitman #2 disposed of Brendon’s body in the motel after mishearing hitman #1 who was in charge of killing Tyler, and thus, here they were.
- The third victim, as they later learned, was a girl by the name of Hayley Williams, who was currently visiting family in the great state of Tennessee.
Back in Josh’s apartment, Mark counted his share out very carefully, totally unaware Tyler and Josh were snickering under their breath at seeing the private eye so happy.
“You know, I never really did get the chance to thank you personally,” Tyler whispered, still watching Mark. “Thank you for bringing me back to life and getting justice for my death.”
“Hey, anytime.”
“I wish we could actually touch. That’d make this dating thing a lot easier.”
“Oh, so we’re dating now?” Josh looked over at Tyler with a smirk, chuckling as Tyler’s face blossomed red.
“Sorry. I just, I don’t know.”
“I think we can make this work. You can live here with me. I’ll replace my bed with two twins, and we’ll put bells around doors to alert one another.”
“Like mice?” Tyler shook his head sheepishly and went back to watching Mark across the room. “Maybe you’re right. A fresh start is a great idea. It’s something I need. Maybe I can make music under an alias, like Bolt Lighting.”
“No offense, but that’s really stupid.”
“Yeah, not my best work.” A pause. “So... can I start working with you and Mark?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“I’ll need a badge, so I can whip it out and say, ‘Tyler Joseph. Detective.’”
Josh snorted. “I’d pay to see that.”
“But in all seriousness, I’m glad I’m back here with you. I think we can make this work. In fact...” With a sly smile, Tyler pushed out of his chair and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Josh to wonder what the hell was going on. After one more glance at Mark still gleefully counting his cash, Josh followed the love of his life into the kitchen out of pure curiosity. What he found was something perfect in both his and the singer’s eyes.
Because there Tyler stood with a sheet of plastic wrap resting on the counter, a smirk still planted firmly on his face. “You said you’d find a different way, but I think I found one first.”
With a loud, happy laugh, Josh reached for the plastic himself and dangled it over his mouth, sighing happily when he felt the pressure of Tyler’s lips on his. It wasn’t the same, it would never be the same, but it worked, and that was all that mattered.
As the drummer kissed the singer, his sleeping beauty, the love of his life, a peace fell over the kitchen at the thought of a new chapter of his life, and the end of a pilot.