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Xelqua watched Grian slowly fall asleep, rolling over as he tried to find a comfortable enough position. It was strange watching his body like this, he usually just watched through his eyes, not in the style of astral projection. His eyes glided over to Joel’s sleeping face, a smile forming on his face. Oh how he loved that man even if he found him annoying at times. He wished he could visit him tonight instead, but Joel has been bugging him to visit his body in his dreams for once. Something about this possibly helping his body accept Xelqua as his divine shadow. At first he was offended by that term, but he has grown to like it. It felt fitting, him being his body’s divine shadow
He was nervous though, he only talked with his body once before, when they made the contract. He barely remembered that, he only remembered seeing his own eyes reflected in his body’s eyes and knew he’d make the perfect vessel. But they haven’t directly interacted since then besides sometimes seeing each other in a reflective surface, which his body wasn’t the happiest about
After Grian finally fell asleep he jolted up, like he had just woken up from a bad dream. Except he was surrounded by whiteness and he knew he was dreaming. This was Xelqua’s realm by how Joel had described it to him and it strangely didn’t feel disorienting to him at all. He stood up and started walking in a direction, like he somehow knew where he was supposed to go. He felt more weirded out by how much this realm felt like home to him, like he belonged there than the feeling of being both awake and asleep at the same time. He also knew who he’d most likely meet here, which unnerved him more than anything. He wasn’t that keen on meeting his body double, who wasn’t even around yet. Joel always told him Xelqua was there to meet him once he “woke up” here, but now Xelqua was making him go and find him
The closer he got to where his instincts told him to go, the more confident and less nervous he felt. He didn’t feel excited by any means, but his worries eased and he just felt neutral at most. He kept looking around the void, maneuvering around invisible objects. The scenery was the same everywhere he looked, yet he still felt a sense of knowing every piece of it. Like he was walking home and looking around his street he knew by heart by now
When he finally got to Xelqua, he suddenly stopped and his confident stride was broken. The other lifted his head to look at him before getting up and standing in front of him. Even with their slight differences Grian felt like he was looking in a mirror, like he was standing in front of himself. It made him slightly nauseous, but there was a comforting feeling to it as well
By what Joel told him about Xelqua, the god didn’t seem to be this overly confident, cocky person who had a Cheshire grin most of the time. He seemed just as confused as Grian was, which confused the both of them more. They stood like that for a while, getting used to seeing each other like this before Xelqua tilted his head to the side and smiled at Grian
“Hello, me. Strange to meet you”
Grian blinked, even their tone and voice were the exact same. It was fucking with his head a bit and he could feel the lines blurring between the two of them. Who was who. He was so determined to give the god a piece of his mind, to tell him to back off from Joel and his brother, to leave, whatever was bothering him, but now it all seemed meaningless. He was looking at himself, not Xelqua
“You too, Gria-“
He blinked as he had to stop himself from saying his own name, calling the god that. Xelqua wasn't Grian, but at that moment Grian hesitated if that was even true. Maybe Xelqua really was Grian. He had difficulties telling who was who
They looked at each other for a while before they both broke out into laughter at the same time. Grian wasn’t upset at this anymore, he wasn’t upset at meeting himself. He felt good, like he did that one night when everything went down, just now it was a stronger feeling which grew the more time they spent together. The feeling of being whole, not missing a single piece of himself and being content with who he was
As the dream went on and they talked about the little and big things in their lives, agreeing on everything and egging each other on, they both felt more and more comfortable around each other. Xelqua’s form slowly morphed over time and by the end he was fully in his chimera like form. A huge creature with the upper body of a purple bird, lower body of a lion, wings covering its face, huge talons on four bird-like feet. Grian saw the universe in its wings, stars being born and suns burning out. And as Grian looked at him like that, he still felt like he was looking in a mirror. He only saw himself. Xelqua was Grian and Grian was Xelqua
-
Grian woke up with a jolt in the morning, startling Joel awake next to him. He was wide awake as he stared in front of himself, sitting up much quicker than he ever did this early. Joel immediately sat up and rubbed his eyes to wake himself up a bit before he took Grian’s face into his hands and turned him towards himself
“You alright? Did you have a nightmare? Your eyes are purple”
Joel’s worry was apparent in his still sleepy features and raspy morning voice. There was a bit of silence as Grian looked around the room, like he was taking in a new environment before his eyes met Joel’s concerned eyes once again and he smiled, a genuine, happy smile
“I’m Xelqua”