Work Text:
Conversation Title: Freshest Captains
Conversation description:
we’re all alone now, no adults ;) – t. yuuji
are you thinking what I’m thinking? – f. kenji
yahaba needs an adult at all times, he’s a baby – s. kenjirou
say goodbye to your shins shirabu – y. shigeru
did you mean: sins – a. keiji
nice kill – e. chikara
Current members:
futakuchis
shirabae
classyahaba
ennosuffering
time2party
Hootkaashi
time2party: guess who's back
time2party: back again
futakuchis: santa claus?
ennosuffering: is it one of the old captains?
Hootkaashi: bokuto???
classyahaba: ushiwaka?
shirabae: fuck off yahaba
classyahaba: what!!! I said nothing!!
shirabae: please kindly fuck off yahaba
classyahaba: WHAT!! I SAID NOTHING
time2party: omg it's still me lmao I was just singing a song
time2party: please calm
Hootkaashi: oh ok
Hootkaashi: so why am I still here again?
ennosuffering: you're stuck here Akaashi. You're not getting out until I do.
time2party: that's right sweetheart you're ours
time2party: SVSODJDGW
time2party: OH MY GOD CRANBERRY JUICE IS DISGUSTING
time2party: I HATE U KAZUMAAAAAAAA
time2party: HE'S LAUGHING @ ME WTF
time2party: quick captain squad how do I pay him back
ennosuffering: do you still have the juice?
time2party: ewww yes
ennosuffering: throw it at him
futakuchis: DAMN ennoshita!
futakuchis: didn't think you had it in you
time2party: u just want enno to throw his juice at u right ;)
classyahaba: YIKES
futakuchis: terushima for the 5346th time
futakuchis: can you fucking not
time2party: damn* your* fucking hot*
shirabae: you're*
time2party: thanks babe
time2party: u always got my back
shirabae: I'll kick your ass
time2party: kinky
classyahaba: KINKSHAME TERUSHIMA
classyahaba: THIS WHOLE CHAT IS DISGUSTING
futakuchis: you're disgusting
classyahaba: what??
futakuchis: disgustingly adorable
futakuchis: FUCK
futakuchis: IGNORE THAT
classyahaba: WHAT
ennosuffering: Akaashi, I'm leaving, you're leaving. We're out of here.
Hootkaashi: fine by me
futakuchis: are you gonna go make out somewhere bc I want to watch
shirabae: someone get him a thirst aid kit
shirabae: wtf is wrong with everyone today
ennosuffering: the 3rd years graduated today?
shirabae: ... they did?? SHIT
shirabae: I HAVE TO GO
ennosuffering has left the conversation.
Hootkaashi has left the conversation.
shirabae has left the conversation.
classyahaba: oh they all left
futakuchis: noooo be more disappointed yahaba. it's more fun when you're disappointed
classyahaba: what's more disappointing is your face
time2party: OOOOHHH
futakuchis: how dare you!!! I'm beautiful
classyahaba: ok beautiful, so you think I'm cute?
futakuchis: fuck no
classyahaba: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）I can go back up and quote you if you want
futakuchis: fUCK NO
futakuchis: I DONT OK
futakuchis: YOU'RE WRONG
futakuchis: MY HAND JUST SLIPPED
futakuchis: I HATE YOUR STUPID FACE
time2party: that's rude I think yahaba is cute and so are u
futakuchis: you think I'M cute? what is wrong with you???
time2party: ur adorable look @ u
futakuchis: I mean. thanks. I guess. you're pretty cool?? your piercings are sick bro
time2party: thanks babe ❤ u can get a closer look anytime
classyahaba: anyway I can't hang out with you two alone bc you're gross I'm adding the others back in
classyahaba has added ennosuffering, Hootkaashi and shirabae to the conversation.
Hootkaashi: stop this
ennosuffering: Yahaba let us have peace
classyahaba: no
classyahaba: you’re forbidden from leaving me alone with teru/futa
classyahaba: also off topic but
classyahaba: don't you have a teammate that keeps stripping during practice?
ennosuffering: oh Tanaka? yeah what about him?
classyahaba: I think he's somehow rubbed off on my team because wtf
classyahaba: it's been barely a day and there are shirts flying everywhere
time2party: are u sure that's not bc something else is happening ;)
futakuchis: if you're in the change room, that's nothing new, yahaba
Hootkaashi: what's this about stripping
classyahaba: akaashi no
ennosuffering: ok well the best thing to do is either force them back into their clothing or take their shirt and put it on
classyahaba: put it on???
ennosuffering: yeah
ennosuffering: then they look at you funny and have to awkwardly try and ask you to give their shirt back
ennosuffering: just keep walking away with it
ennosuffering: it's great
futakuchis: damn ennoshita
futakuchis: you're good at manipulating people, huh
futakuchis: managing*
ennosuffering: I do my best
shirabae: oh ushijima patted me on the head
time2party: OMG CUTE
shirabae: I'm not his dog though
classyahaba: head pats aren't dog pats necessarily shirabu
classyahaba: THOUGH SPEAKING OF DOGS
classyahaba: I think kyoutani wants to kill me
Hootkaashi: oh boy
Hootkaashi: what did you do
futakuchis: what didn't yahaba do
classyahaba: SHUT UP
classyahaba: it might have been the shirt thing idk
ennosuffering: wait did you seriously take his shirt and put it on?
classyahaba: you told me to!
ennosuffering: I didn't know we were talking about Kyoutani but R.I.P. Yahaba
Hootkaashi: was nice knowing you
time2party: invite me to the wedding!!
time2party: funeral*!! I meant funeral!!
futakuchis: right... terushima... right...
shirabae: what kind of stupid ass phone corrects 'funeral' to 'wedding'
time2party: mine does
shirabae: I call bullshit
classyahaba: you would, wouldn't you??
classyahaba: with all the cows in your school they're practically raising you in bullshit
shirabae: they're horses you uncultured swine
futakuchis: who has horses at their fucking school what the fuck
shirabae: shiratorizawa does. we're the best school in the prefecture.
shirabae: that's why
shirabae: you should have gone to
classyahaba: DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE SHIRABU
classyahaba: THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING
Hootkaashi: please can all the miyagi captains get along for once
ennosuffering: you're asking for the impossible, Akaashi
ennosuffering: give up before you get involved
Hootkaashi: what did I do to deserve this
futakuchis: AHEM
futakuchis: so akaashi how's tokyo?
Hootkaashi: tokyo is the same as usual
Hootkaashi: it's a city, it doesn't really have feelings
futakuchis: how do you feel now that the 3rd years are gone?
Hootkaashi: at this point in time I still can't get rid of them
Hootkaashi: they're all chatting outside rn
Hootkaashi: so ok I guess. you?
futakuchis: they're still our fucking parents tbh
futakuchis: it's like they don't trust us on our own
futakuchis: moniwa came running in bc he saw kogane doing laps around the building
futakuchis: it was a little embarrassing bc he just got out of school and yet he still came back to parent us in a heartbeat
Hootkaashi: I take it you don't know my seniors then
Hootkaashi: during practice I did a setter dump at match point and bokuto who was on the benches
Hootkaashi: stood up
Hootkaashi: and started crying I kid you not
Hootkaashi: konoha legitimately thought something was wrong and freaked out
futakuchis: bro kamasaki fucking carried sakunami to the water fountain bc our baby libero fell over in practice and scraped his knees
futakuchis: his knee pad covered knees mind you
futakuchis: I feel your pain
Hootkaashi: you don't understand
Hootkaashi: at the door at this very moment
Hootkaashi: bokuto is with kuroo tetsurou from nekoma
Hootkaashi: holding an entire raw fish and a bag of rice
futakuchis: ok I don't want to know
futakuchis: you win
futakuchis: you have suffered the most
ennosuffering: the suffering games™
shirabae: akaashi you play setter don't you?
Hootkaashi: yes. You do as well, I'm pretty sure?
shirabae: yes. I'm very good at it
Hootkaashi: you'd have to be, to play setter for shiratorizawa
shirabae: yes
Hootkaashi: so ...
Hootkaashi: did you come here to brag or did you want something from me?
shirabae: oh
shirabae: no it's nothing bye
Hootkaashi: ???
Hootkaashi: are you ok?
Hootkaashi: hello?
futakuchis: holy shit akaashi
futakuchis: you scared shirabu away
futakuchis: what kind of sorcery
Hootkaashi: I didn't mean to? I'm sorry?
futakuchis: all the blame is on you now
Hootkaashi: are you trying to make me feel bad? I didn't even do anything...
shirabae: shut your fucking mouth for once futakuchi
shirabae: akaashi I'll message you privately
shirabae: sorry
Hootkaashi: it's... fine...?
shirabae: ok I'm awkward as fuck about this but
shirabae: I just wanted to ask about your pronouns
shirabae: like how you've written they/them on your profile? those things
Hootkaashi: oh, no problem, what about them?
shirabae: do you like... gender
Hootkaashi: what?
shirabae: I'm confused. like. what are you
shirabae: like I'm not trying to be rude I genuinely don't know how this works
shirabae: and since no one else questioned it I didn't really want to ask in the group chat
shirabae: um sorry
Hootkaashi: it's fine lol
Hootkaashi: don't stress
Hootkaashi: basically instead of he/him, I go by they/them
Hootkaashi: it's like if you look at cisgenders as a fork and a spoon
Hootkaashi: I'm a spork??
Hootkaashi: that's how bokuto explained it to people so I'm hoping it's an explanation that you can understand
shirabae: yeah ok I get that
shirabae: that's cool I guess
shirabae: I noticed we were still calling you a boy sometimes in the chat though??
Hootkaashi: oh I don't really care sometimes
Hootkaashi: if it slips and I don't like it, I will let you know, don't worry
shirabae: ok thanks
shirabae: sorry for the trouble
Hootkaashi: no problem
Hootkaashi: if you have any questions, you can ask
Hootkaashi: don't be afraid to talk to me
shirabae: I think you're my new fav anyway
Hootkaashi: I'm flattered
shirabae: you better be.
Hootkaashi: ah shirabu. never change.
futakuchis: now I'm really curious about why shirabu ran away
shirabae: is it that hard for you to mind your own goddamn business
futakuchis: let me take a wild guess
shirabae: for fucks sake
futakuchis: PRONOUNS
shirabae: WHAT THE FUCK
futakuchis: AHA FUTAKUCHI WINS AGAIN
classyahaba: shove it futakuchi, shirabu wanted to get educated, let him
shirabae: do you even know what education is, yahaba
classyahaba: the ONE TIME I try to be nice to you
ennosuffering: so how's everyone settling in as captaining without any third years to help you?
time2party: I JUST REMEMBERED WE WERE GONNA HANG OUT ONCE YOU WERE ALL OFFICIALLY CAPTAIN
time2party: TIME PLACE DATE GO GO LET'S GO
futakuchis: LET’S GO DATEKOU
ennosuffering: I'm not even mad anymore
ennosuffering: well done futakuchi
futakuchis: naturally
classyahaba: ok but do any of us even have the free time for this meet up frankly
time2party: BOO but true
time2party: we'll go during break then? or whenever akaashi can come down from tokyo w their city friends
time2party: we can probably do weekends but schedules are weird
ennosuffering: yeah. saturday school/practice is a thing so
futakuchis: I’ve got cram school on sundays too sorry
futakuchis: fixing up grades for once
futakuchis: final year and all
time2party: u know if u guys ever need any help with ur studies, u can ask me, right?
classyahaba: um?? sure?
time2party: no I’m serious
time2party: I’m in college prep and everything
classyahaba: holy shit?? YOU ARE???
ennosuffering: oh my god you are? So am I but???
futakuchis: ok wtf how many of you are in college prep
classyahaba: I am
ennosuffering: I am, I know Akaashi is, too
time2party: meeee
futakuchis: HOLY SHIT
futakuchis: well I feel stupid now
ennosuffering: oh, don’t
ennosuffering: it’s not that big a deal
futakuchis: lmao I know
futakuchis: I’m gonna harass you all with endless science questions
futakuchis: you brought this upon yourself
futakuchis: chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because I never know what’s going on
time2party: aww ur gonna rely on us!! sweet
classyahaba: ok ok so before I forget
classyahaba: captain meetup will happen whenever we’re all free, right? and we’re also gonna help futakuchi get his grades up
ennosuffering: sounds like a plan
futakuchis: thanks fam
classyahaba: we’ve got you!
futakuchis: oh how cute yahabaaaaaa
classyahaba: … only when you’re not being a pain in the ass though
time2party: …….
classyahaba: TERUSHIMA DON’T YOU DARE
time2party: a pain in who’s ass
time2party: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
classyahaba: CAN YOU NOT
time2party: that’s funny
time2party: I always thought futakuchi would be a bottom :)
futakuchis: …..
futakuchis: well you know what they say
time2party: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what do they say
futakuchis: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
classyahaba: I HATE BEING LEFT ALONE WITH YOU TWO
classyahaba: ennoshita come back where did you go
ennosuffering: conceal, don’t feel, Yahaba
ennosuffering: conceal, don’t feel
shirabae: so oikawa tooru
classyahaba: what about him
shirabae: nothing. I was just wondering if his name alone could summon you and it looks like it did.
classyahaba: do you have something to say to me shirabu?
shirabae: not really
shirabae: oh wait I do have one question
classyahaba: what is it?
shirabae: why is your hair so fucking dumb
classyahaba: I AM THIS CLOSE
classyahaba: THIS CLOSE SHIRABU
classyahaba: SO CLOSE
time2party: I could make this conversation really awkward rn but kenji told me I should lay off so I'm just gonna sit here and smile :)
shirabae: who the fuck is kenji
classyahaba: futakuchi kenji?? have you been paying attention at all shirabu
shirabae: ok whatever but since when was yuuji on a first name basis w him
classyahaba: SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH TERUSHIMA
time2party: no comment
shirabae: no comment
classyahaba: WHAT HAPPENED
Hootkaashi: I could call you shigeru if you want??
classyahaba: omg um
classyahaba: if you're ok with it??
Hootkaashi: sure, I asked. call me keiji too
Hootkaashi: let's just confuse everyone even more and see what happens
classyahaba: ... you're evil, keiji
Hootkaashi: why, shigeru, I've only just begun
futakuchis: is it just me
futakuchis: or has there been a lot of ust in this chat lately? specifically since akaashi joined
ennosuffering: ust?
shirabae: unresolved sexual tension
ennosuffering: oh
ennosuffering: well
ennosuffering: I hadn't noticed?
Hootkaashi: in hindsight it was bound to happen
classyahaba: keiji's right
classyahaba: you put 6 attractive teenagers w questionable sexualities in one chat
classyahaba: some more flirty than others
classyahaba: some that enjoy innuendos far too much for their own good
classyahaba: what did you expect?
Hootkaashi: well said, shigeru
Hootkaashi: you read my mind
ennosuffering: ...
ennosuffering: ok yeah fair enough I see your point
ennosuffering: so uh
ennosuffering: Akaashi and Yahaba? first-name basis?
futakuchis: yeah what's up with that anyway
Hootkaashi: sorry I don't kiss and tell
futakuchis: ARE YOU IMPLYING
futakuchis: YOU AND YAHABA
classyahaba: keiji stop you're embarrassing me
futakuchis: OH MY GOD
ennosuffering: ok I have seen a lot in my day
ennosuffering: and I am at least 90% sure that this is a joke
Hootkaashi: we'll just have to keep you guessing then
futakuchis: song train, go go let's go
Hootkaashi: is this 2012
futakuchis: hush dear
futakuchis: I’ll start
futakuchis: what a beautiful wedding
ennosuffering: (why did you start in the middle of the song, you tool)
ennosuffering: what a beautiful wedding
futakuchis: said the bridesmaid to the waiter
futakuchis: (I do what I want ok)
ennosuffering: yes but what a shame
futakuchis: what a shame
ennosuffering: the poor
futakuchis: groom's bride is
shirabae: dat boi
futakuchis: F UCK
futakuchis: GTFO SHIRABU
shirabae: o shit waddup!!
futakuchis: SHIRABU WTF
futakuchis: THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE FOR MEMES
futakuchis: AND THAT IS NOT NOW
ennosuffering: meme farm strikes again
time2party: SHIRABU KENJIROU UR A LEGEND AND I LOVE U
shirabae: I don't want your love
shirabae: and you morons were setting that one up perfectly so don't even complain
shirabae: anyway my job here is done
shirabae: bye
futakuchis: OH NO YOU DON'T
futakuchis: GET BACK HERE
shirabae: bye
futakuchis: COME HERE SHIRABU
shirabae: what is it and why does it concern me
futakuchis: don't you ever do that ever again
shirabae: ayyy lmao
ennosuffering: Shirabu, are you okay? You're not acting like yourself.
Hootkaashi: I don't even recognise you anymore
shirabae: thank you for the concern
shirabae: I may be dead on the inside, but other than that, I'm fine
ennosuffering: is it Futakuchi?
Hootkaashi: Is that loud datekou person bothering you?
shirabae: yes...... futakuchi's bullying me……..
futakuchis: I have never heard so much bullshit in my entire life
ennosuffering: Futakuchi how dare you
Hootkaashi: Shirabu has such a tender soul
futakuchis: what HEY
futakuchis: NO
futakuchis: what is HAPPENING
futakuchis: I CAME HERE
futakuchis: TO HAVE A GOOD TIME
futakuchis: AND I'M HONESTLY
shirabae: memeblocked
futakuchis: OH FUCK YOU
classyahaba: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now, is what he meant to say
futakuchis: fuck you too yahaba
classyahaba: ummm no thanks
classyahaba: I am pure and chaste
futakuchis: ha!!! HA!!! HAHAHA!!!
Hootkaashi: what's so funny
futakuchis: I'm not laughing Akaashi
Hootkaashi: I'm not laughing Akaashi either. I'm frowning Akaashi.
futakuchis: I hate all of you
classyahaba: did keiji just make a dad joke
Hootkaashi: oh no
Hootkaashi: I’m becoming one of THEM
classyahaba: don’t join the dads club!! they don’t deserve you!!
Hootkaashi: I won’t. besides
Hootkaashi: dads are nerds?? and am I a nerd?? I don't think so bye
classyahaba: I knew there was a reason I liked you
classyahaba: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）
time2party: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）
Hootkaashi: oh no
Hootkaashi: the kaomoji have migrated
Hootkaashi: and they finally made it to this chat
classyahaba: ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ☆彡
Hootkaashi: rare kaomoji has been spotted
time2party: rare booty has been spotted
time2party: now tell me if that booty wants to go out with me or not
classyahaba: terushima not this AGAIN do you have any chill
time2party: I'm the chillest person to ever chill tbh
classyahaba: then stop chasing keiji you will achieve nothing
Hootkaashi: thank you
time2party: who said I was chasing akaashi? I am SO over akaashi
time2party: like SOOO over him
time2party: like
time2party: you could give me akaashi's number and I'll prove it to you
classyahaba: haha subtle
classyahaba: but 0 points to the yellow team
Hootkaashi: thanks shigeru
classyahaba: no worries. I'm here if you need. always!
shirabae: #prettysetterdefensesquad
Hootkaashi: but you're both pretty setters too??
classyahaba: awww ♪( ´▽｀) but you're THE pretty setter
shirabae: yeah what he said
Hootkaashi: honestly... thanks but... I don't want that title...
shirabae: well we sure as hell ain't giving it to oikawa
classyahaba: UM!!! WOW!!!
classyahaba: INSULTING MY SENIOR AGAIN
classyahaba: do you wanna fucking GO shirabu
shirabae: go where
classyahaba: you take it back right now
classyahaba: tell me oikawa is pretty
shirabae: over my dead body
classyahaba: that can be arranged (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))
Hootkaashi: I'll just leave you guys to it then
ennosuffering: Yahaba please don't kill Shirabu we still need him
ennosuffering: I'll say it on his behalf
ennosuffering: Oikawa is pretty
ennosuffering: are we good now?
classyahaba: fiiiiine
futakuchis: thanks chika, damage control was a success
futakuchis: and shirabu gets to keep all his limbs and his life
ennosuffering: don't call me Chika
ennosuffering: but good.
ennosuffering: now which one of you fuckers sent a screenshot of me saying 'Oikawa is pretty' to Oikawa Tooru wtf
ennosuffering: he just messaged me saying he was 'flattered but also taken' good grief is he always online
ennosuffering: ANYWAY I don't have a thing for Oikawa ughh!!
ennosuffering: who the hell sent it?
classyahaba: not meee
futakuchis: not meeeeee
ennosuffering: it was one of you
time2party: it was me
ennosuffering: no it wasn't
ennosuffering: now who do I have to hunt down?
ennosuffering: Futakuchi or Yahaba?
futakuchis: yahabaaaaa
classyahaba: futakuchiiiii
futakuchis: YAHABAAAAA
classyahaba: FUTAKUCHIIII
ennosuffering: this is getting nowhere
futakuchis: YAHABA
classyahaba: FUTAKUCHI
futakuchis: SHIGERU
classyahaba: KENJI
Hootkaashi: eats popcorn
futakuchis: YAHABA SHIGERU
time2party: u should stutter so this looks like a dramatic confession
time2party: "YA.. YAHABA I'VE LOVED U FOR A LONG TIME"
classyahaba: FUTAKUCHI KENJI
time2party: "PLEASE ACCEPT MY FEELINGS"
classyahaba: NO!! go away terushima
futakuchis: ewww no who the hell is gonna confess to yahaba
classyahaba: oh my fucking god I will deck you boy
ennosuffering: I'm going to hunt both of you down, I've decided
ennosuffering: but let's get rid of this tension first
classyahaba: omg don't phrase it like that!!
futakuchis: fuck
futakuchis: ennoshita no you're wrong
futakuchis: I legitimately do not like yahaba
classyahaba: likewise
shirabae: yahaba hates himself too
classyahaba: don't twist my words shirabu!!
shirabae: you said it not me
shirabae: "I don't like Yahaba" "likewise"
classyahaba: shush you know what I meant
shirabae: did I?
futakuchis: ok lay off shirabu
shirabae: ok wtf are you on yahaba's side or are you not
futakuchis: I'm on the side of justice
ennosuffering: what is going on
ennosuffering: do you three need to go to the time out corner
futakuchis: HAHAHA YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT
futakuchis: THE TIME OUT CORNER
futakuchis: LMAOOOO
classyahaba: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING
classyahaba: THE TIME OUT CORNER WAS YOUR IDEA
time2party: so just out of curiosity
time2party: are any of you in a relationship??
shirabae: I am. but you all knew that
shirabae: except akaashi
Hootkaashi: well now I know
shirabae: mhm
ennosuffering: I'm not, I broke up with my gf a while back
shirabae: oh. you ok?
ennosuffering: fine, thanks for asking!
Hootkaashi: when was this?
ennosuffering: like two months ago? it's fine, seriously, I had too much volleyball to worry about to be sad
time2party: wipes tear
time2party: a true warrior among us mortal men
shirabae: you're so full of shit yuuji what does that even mean
Hootkaashi: so terushima, what's your story?
time2party: shirabae you wound me
time2party: oh me?? I'm single only bc I've dated every person in my year and some lower years too
time2party: or at least I tried to date them all
time2party: it didn't go so well with some of them but at least I have a lot of phone numbers now!!
ennosuffering: wow.
time2party: I'm getting better at dealing w emotions ahaha
time2party: it's just fun y'know?? I just need to have fun, that's all I want
time2party: but I've started to learn that it does hurt people and I'm trying to be more considerate for everyone's sake :)
time2party: kinda the reason why I don't date in my team but I totally would if they were genuinely up for it
time2party: ew sorry I rambled a bit
time2party: I hope u guys don't hate me
ennosuffering: no it's fine, I'm actually glad you told us. It always seemed like there was such a big divide between you and the rest of us but you're a good person and you're learning, Terushima
ennosuffering: at the very least, I'm proud of you
time2party: aww thanks mom <3
Hootkaashi: I don't know you very well but I agree with ennoshita. You do you.
ennosuffering: TERU, CHILD, I’M NOT YOUR MOM
shirabae: way to call yourself out, ennoshita
shirabae: damn this became a lot more emotional than I expected
shirabae: do your best I guess
shirabae: as long as you don't come to our schools to give us stupid fucking hugs again
time2party: WOW WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA
time2party: I WISH I THOUGHT OF THAT
shirabae: YOU DID THINK OF THAT
time2party: I'M COMING FOR YOU KENJIROU
shirabae: FUCK OFF YUUJI
Hootkaashi: guess what time it is
futakuchis: trash talking time
Hootkaashi: correct
ennosuffering: oh boy here we go
Hootkaashi: today's question is:
Hootkaashi: "who is the most difficult team member to handle and why?"
futakuchis: KOGANEGAWA
futakuchis: HE IS A MESS
futakuchis: im gonna
ennosuffering: Tanaka and/or Nishinoya
ennosuffering: maybe Tsukishima???
Ennosuffering: every day it's one of them
classyahaba: kyoutani??? probably?? define 'handle'...
shirabae: holy shit are we actually having this bitch off right here and now
Hootkaashi: yes
Hootkaashi: bitching about things is the only thing we're good at
Hootkaashi: apart from volleyball I guess there's that too
time2party: uhhh guys?
futakuchis: what's up
time2party: not to ruin the fun
time2party: which I’ve been doing a lot lately (ironically)
time2party: but
time2party: the bitch off isn't really my thing
futakuchis: wait really
time2party: omg ok yeah I know it might sound weird coming from me!!!
time2party: honestly it's fine now but
time2party: it has the potential to be really mean
time2party: so yeah
time2party: sorry I'm kinda not feeling it right now
shirabae: that's the most intelligent thing I have ever seen you write tbh
ennosuffering: if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll stop
ennosuffering: sorry Terushima
time2party: it's ok!! it's no big deal
time2party: I just didn't want this group to turn into a bully group y'know
futakuchis: ok we respect that
futakuchis: but now that we've abolished the bitch off what should we do instead
time2party: u could like... show off. or something
shirabae: show off??
time2party: like
time2party: today's question is:
time2party: "who's the prettiest person on your team"?
shirabae: me?
classyahaba: me
Hootkaashi: me..
futakuchis: oh my god
futakuchis: STOP THEM
ennosuffering: the pretty setters cannot be stopped
ennosuffering: damn now I'm calling them that too
ennosuffering: this is all futakuchi's fault
futakuchis: they're setters and they're pretty what more do you want from me
time2party: I hate this because it's true
classyahaba: question
ennosuffering: shoot
Hootkaashi: get down before someone gets hurt
time2party: stop drop and roll, man
futakuchis: where's the fire
shirabae: wherever the fuck the fire wants to be
time2party: too hot
futakuchis: hot damn
ennosuffering: call the police
Hootkaashi: and the fireman
classyahaba: .........
classyahaba: ... woah
classyahaba: did you guys plan all that?
classyahaba: because holy wow
classyahaba: coordination
futakuchis: we're becoming more in sync and that scares me
ennosuffering: I don't want to be in sync with you
futakuchis: why not? I'm a fucking delight
Hootkaashi: ok ignoring the fucking delight over there, what was the question that you had, shigeru?
classyahaba: oh yeah
classyahaba: it's actually about volleyball believe it or not
shirabae: in a volleyball captains chat... a question about volleyball.... you don't say........
classyahaba: hush
classyahaba: ok so!!
classyahaba: I’m a setter, as you all know
time2party: a pretty setter
classyahaba: yes ok thank you terushima
classyahaba: and I just wanted to know – do you guys have like
classyahaba: setter expectations?
Hootkaashi: setter expectations?
ennosuffering: what do you mean?
classyahaba: I mean! I’m definitely not oikawa when it comes to setting
classyahaba: and I’m kind of afraid that the team sometimes forgets that?
classyahaba: like I’m not terrible, I’m just not amazing, you feel?
futakuchis: um ok but do you set like koganegawa because jfc
ennosuffering: shut up Futakuchi, we all know you’re secretly proud of him
shirabae: who cares if you’re not oikawa tbh
shirabae: one less oikawa tooru in the world is a blessing
classyahaba: it might just be a self-doubt thing again sorry guys
classyahaba: SHIRABU COM E ON
classyahaba: I WILL SERIOUSLY COME FOR YOU
classyahaba: ONE MORE JIBE AT OIKAWA AND YOUR HEAD IS MINE
time2party: ;)
futakuchis: oh my fucking god, every time
Hootkaashi: you’ll be fine, yahaba, we all have our moments
Hootkaashi: the setter is the control tower but we’re all still human
Hootkaashi: don’t think too much about anything but delivering the best toss
ennosuffering: Akaashi’s right. and anyway, I’ve seen Kyoutani spike even your worst tosses so don’t forget a team is made up of six people, not just one
time2party: ‘your worst tosses’ wow enno dishing it out
ennosuffering: hey it’s the truth, and I don’t mean it in a bad way
ennosuffering: you know that, right, Yahaba?
classyahaba: yeah it’s fine I got it
classyahaba: seriously, thanks guys, you always know what to say
classyahaba: except shirabu
shirabae: well I can’t be any worse than oikawa tooru
classyahaba: fucking hell shirabu I will cut you
ennosuffering: I just realised that having a Kenji, a Keiji and a Kenjirou is gonna get really confusing
Hootkaashi: why? Were you thinking of calling us all by first name?
futakuchis: more importantly are you jealous that he said my name first
Hootkaashi: not really
Hootkaashi: I don't mind being sandwiched between you two
time2party: OUT OF THE LEFT FIELD AKAASHI
time2party: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
Hootkaashi: oh dear I didn't mean to press enter
time2party: discovering a whole new side of you man
time2party: smh
futakuchis: OH GEEZ
futakuchis: COMING FROM YOU?
time2party: yes. I am reading articles on Political Correctness to keep my mind clean
futakuchis: what
Hootkaashi: Political Correctness
Hootkaashi: I’m not sure that’s the right term for it but ok
ennosuffering: anyway. disregarding all of you, I just had the passing thought
ennosuffering: reading the chat description, is all
futakuchis: booooring
futakuchis: on the topic of names though
futakuchis: why won’t you let me call you chika
ennosuffering: uhhhhhhhh
ennosuffering: because I don’t want you to?
time2party: yeah kenji lay off :(
time2party: ur gay is showing again
futakuchis: is that a bad thing ;)
time2party: not at all ;)
Hootkaashi: …
Hootkaashi: now I know why shigeru hates being alone with you two
ennosuffering: Hey Akaashi?
Hootkaashi: yes?
ennosuffering: you know how we always get invited to Tokyo training camps, right?
Hootkaashi: yes...?
ennosuffering: I was wondering if you were interested in coming to ours? Miyagi training camp, I mean. Hinata invited Nekoma through Kenma already, but I thought I'd ask you if Fukurodani was interested?
Hootkaashi: I'll ask coach brb.
ennosuffering: k
Hootkaashi: back
Hootkaashi: he said we can depending on dates. when is it?
ennosuffering: next weekend, we meet in Sendai. Is that okay?
Hootkaashi: coach says it's fine but next time give us more notice lol
ennosuffering: oh, of course, sorry! it literally only just occurred to me. don't expect us to be like ... tokyo camp standard omg.
Hootkaashi: we're not fussy. Is, ah, everyone going to be there?
ennosuffering: everyone...? You mean the fresh captains? Yeah. Yeah we'll all be there. Shirabu might not make the whole camp but he did say he might drop by one of the days
Hootkaashi: I see
ennosuffering: are you nervous?
Hootkaashi: not at all
Hootkaashi: what would I be nervous about?
ennosuffering: meeting everyone in person, I guess
ennosuffering: I mean. you've met a few of them but that was before this whole chat was made.
Hootkaashi: well I think I'll be okay. I'll just stick to you if I get uneasy, if that's alright?
ennosuffering: oh yeah! go ahead. I don't mind. everyone is super friendly though.
ennosuffering: but prepare for war anyway. bring headphones because Futakuchi is really noisy. also bring a spray bottle just in case anyone is being terrible. but mostly headphones. beware of Futakuchi irl
Hootkaashi: you warned me about futakuchi twice
ennosuffering: I mean watch out for Terushima too, but even though he looks intimidating, he’s mostly harmless
Hootkaashi: I can imagine
Hootkaashi: thanks again Ennoshita
Hootkaashi: it's nice to know I can count on you
ennosuffering: no problem! Look forward to seeing you there!
time2party: miyagi training camp is this weekenddddd
shirabae: yes
futakuchis: are you guys excited to see me
classyahaba: futakuchi please
classyahaba: nobody is excited to see you
futakuchis: WOW
futakuchis: I’LL JUST HANG OUT WITH MYSELF THEN
shirabae: go ahead
futakuchis: W O W
ennosuffering: I’ll hang out with you
futakuchis: YES!! you’re my new best friend
ennosuffering: oh yeah, did I tell you all that fukurodani was invited too?
time2party: WHAT
time2party: WHERE’S AKAASHI
Hootkaashi: hi
time2party: YOU’RE COMING?
Hootkaashi: yes. Is that ok?
time2party: OF COURSE IT’S OK
futakuchis: OMG COME
futakuchis: YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME
classyahaba: omg!! We’d be glad to have you!
shirabae: ^ what they said
Hootkaashi: that’s good to hear
time2party: we’re a squad now!! you don’t even have to ask
time2party: you could literally show up on our doorsteps and nobody would mind
shirabae: actually
ennosuffering: well warning would be nice, but yeah, you’re always welcome here
ennosuffering: don’t be shy, Akaashi
Hootkaashi: thanks everyone............
futakuchis: so many ellipses whoa……….
classyahaba: what is the purpose of this……………
shirabae: who knows………………. slime man
classyahaba: alright meme farmer I’ve just about had it with you
shirabae: what have you got……………. slime man
classyahaba: stop
futakuchis: …………. slime man
classyahaba: seriously why
time2party: holy shit
time2party: HOLY SHIT IS THAT NEKOMA
time2party: I'VE DEF SEEN THAT PUDDING HAIR KID BEFORE
Hootkaashi: that's Kenma
time2party: HI KENMA
time2party: AKAASHI IS THAT YOU
time2party: I'M WAVING CAN YOU SEE ME
Hootkaashi: um
Hootkaashi: are you in yellow, standing on top of a trash can?
time2party: yes!!! COME SAY HI
Hootkaashi: hold on, I need to make sure all my team are in one piece
Hootkaashi: but I'll be there in a sec
futakuchis: INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!
classyahaba: DID YOU JUST PUSH TERUSHIMA OFF THE GARBAGE CAN
futakuchis: no???
ennosuffering: he did. I saw him.
futakuchis: whoops busted what can you do
ennosuffering: FUTAKUCHI
futakuchis: bye
Hootkaashi: is terushima ok?
ennosuffering: he's fine. watch your back, I think Futakuchi's looking for the rest of y
classyahaba: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
classyahaba: FUTAKUCHI KILLED ENNOSHITA
Hootkaashi: what
classyahaba: RUN KEIJI SAVE YOURSELF
ennosuffering: I'm fine. he just rammed into me and I got caught off guard
classyahaba: KEIJI HE'S COMING
time2party: ;)
classyahaba: SHUT UP TERUSHIMA YOU DIED
classyahaba: where did he go
ennosuffering: futakuchi is like 6ft tall how did you lose him
classyahaba: HE'S GOT ME
classyahaba: HELP
classyahaba: hi this is futakuchi kenji how much are you willing to pay to save yahaba's life
Hootkaashi: what is happening
shirabae: hold on I've got this
Hootkaashi: what are you going to do
Hootkaashi: what the fuck
Hootkaashi: is that a horse
ennosuffering: WHAT THE HECK IS SHIRATORIZAWA DOING
shirabae: don't be alarmed
ennosuffering: I AM VERY ALARMED
ennosuffering: if you see a kid with a blond streak in his hair running towards you please seize him immediately
ennosuffering: I've lost noya and we've only been in sendai for 5 mins max
ennosuffering: where is YAMAGUCHI
ennosuffering: Tsukishima is standing next to you Akaashi, ask him
Hootkaashi: oh so he is
Hootkaashi: ... he says he doesn't know
classyahaba: why aren't any of you coming to save yahaba, I don't want to hold him for this long
Hootkaashi: shirabu said he got this so just hold your horses
time2party: ba dum tss
shirabae: I'm not doing it for yahaba's sake though just so you all know
ennosuffering: HINATA'S GOING TO GET TRAMPLED
ennosuffering: WHAT IS WITH THE HORSES ALREADY
shirabae: oh I forgot to tell you, didn't I
shirabae: there's a parade happening for some fucking irrelevant sport that's not volleyball
shirabae: shiratorizawa's horse riding club are participating
shirabae: since it was happening in sendai anyway we were told we had to help out
Hootkaashi: oh ok fair enough
shirabae: we’ll be over in a sec
classyahaba: KEIJI I AM FREE AND HE IS COMING
Hootkaashi: who
Hootkaashi: oh
Hootkaashi: hi futakuchi
classyahaba: why is he suddenly being docile?
classyahaba: don't trust futakuchi!!
classyahaba: wh
classyahaba: why are you all crowding around keiji
classyahaba: what are you doing
ennosuffering: stop typing on your phone and get over here, Yahaba
ennosuffering: we're gonna take a group picture
shirabae: hey yahaba
shirabae: incoming
ennosuffering: OH MY GOD
ennosuffering: SHIRABU NO
futakuchis: LET ME SAVE THIS FOR
futakuchis: BLACKMAIL
futakuchis: I MEAN POSTERITY*
futakuchis has sent an image.
futakuchis: you’ve seen it here first everyone
futakuchis: shirabu pulled yahaba up onto a fucking horse
futakuchis: because what even is real life anymore
time2party: I want to ride a horse, too! :(
shirabae: come on then
time2party: wait seriously??? I’M COMING
time2party: AFTER I GET A HUG FROM AKAASHI
ennosuffering: GDI ALL OF YOU GET OFF YOUR PHONES
Hootkaashi: I’m checking the timetable
ennosuffering: oh ok
ennosuffering: so how are you finding everything so far
Hootkaashi: I kind of want to go back home already
ennosuffering: yeah we get that a lot
ennosuffering: well come on suffer buddy
ennosuffering: we’ve got a camp to run
Hootkaashi: you got it
Hootkaashi: captain
ennosuffering: … let’s go, captain
time2party: this is so beautiful I’m tearing up
shirabae: yuuji do you want to ride a fucking horse or do you not
time2party: I’M COMING