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Chapter Text

Marya Junková knew herself well. She knew when she needed to rest (though she often ignored it), she knew when she needed to eat (she neglected that, too), and less importantly, she knew when she had a mash (which rarely went ignored). However, considering how often her eyes drifted to Vanellope Chapman during meals, or battle, or when she was shouting orders at the crew, she wasn't going to be able to ignore it.

It first cropped up after her first battle on the Zephyr. She was 18 years old and maneuvering her ship around the one shooting at them, swearing as the Zephyr hummed beneath her hands. She risked a glance at the side window of the cockpit to see Van punching a man to the floor, kneeing him in the stomach and the man collapsed. Van grinned, and Marya's heart skipped a beat as the sun washed over her weathered face. She looked almost holy, bathed in the golden light of Gath's sun. She was no angel, certainly, but she may as well have been when she smiled, the line of her profile almost pulling Marya's attention from the matter at hand- insurance fraud.

Marya would have to deal with that later, though- she could not keep her attention from the ship, not now. Once the sounds of battle died down and the mishaps they had incurred had been repaired, Van rushed into the cockpit. Marya braced herself for screams, but instead felt herself being pulled into the tightest hug she'd ever felt.

"Junker, that was amazing," she laughed, spinning her around. Marya felt her heart skip a beat and her gut twist, but she hugged back. "You're an even better pilot than Comfrey- don't tell her I said that."

"Did you see yourself out there, Van?" she said. "Did you kill that guy by punching him in the face and kneeing him in the stomach?"

"I also threw 'im off the side of the ship." Van grinned. "But seriously, you're insane." She set Marya down, smiling down at her with wide grey eyes. "You're the best pilot in Gath, kid."

Marya felt a rush of emotions- pride, gratitude, excitement- but also the familiar pit that always set in her stomach when she had a mash on a girl- a woman, really, Van was nearly 13 years her senior. There was no way this silly mash would go anywhere, though. It was only a minor setback in her plan to get out and stay out of Scrapsylvania.

"Thank you, Van." She smiled sincerely, and when Van grabbed her hand, her stomach did somersaults. She was dragged downstairs into the living room, despite her protests- being told that Comfrey would notch the wheel- as Monty hauled a crate from the hold. "What is going on?"

"Post-battle debrief," Monty said. "It's where we drink rum, eat pasta, and talk shit."

"Oh, fuck yeah." Marya plopped herself comfortably on the couch. Van sat next to her and draped an arm over her, and Marya was well and truly fucked. Despite herself, she relaxed back into the touch, and soon enough, Daisuke and the professor came downstairs to join them, and Comfrey reached out a fist to Marya. She tilted her head in confusion, and then Van pressed her fist to Comfrey's- gently, not like an actual punch. Marya cautiously followed suit, earning a grin of approval.

"Good job today, everyone," Daisuke said. He poured glasses of rum, and a crew member Marya didn't recognize yet brought in a tray with bowls of pasta before grabbing a glass of rum and retreating back to the galley. Marya must've made a face, because Van nudged her with an elbow.

"You alright, captain?" Marya's heart sped up. She didn't even know why she felt weird or uncomfortable, much less how to put it into words. She knew it would come up eventually. It always would. She was a good liar, though. She'd always had to be.

"I'm fine. Thank you." Marya's response was curt, and she could tell Van knew something was wrong, but they had only known one another for a week. Marya did not know how Van could tell. She felt Van's warm hand press against her shoulder, creating safety- as if any part of Van is safe, as if any touch from her could help Marya keep herself upright- and squeezing at the knot forming in her shoulder. It took everything in Marya not to hum at the pleasant feeling of Van's thumb and forefinger squeezing the skin of her back. She could have stayed there, just like that, forever, if she was allowed.

"Junker," Monty said, "how did you learn to fly like that? I didn't think there were many places to fly in Scrapsylvania."

Marya practically jumped at the opportunity to answer. "There aren't, but I found a place nearby with a flight school. I… I guess it just came naturally." She detailed how she had left Scrapsylvania, how she had gotten questions like 'is this your first time flying?' and 'are you sure you haven't done this before?', how she had seen her chance and grabbed it by the throat. She didn't share why she had left, why she had needed to leave, why she could never go back. She didn't notice the way Van's grey eyes fixed her in a warm gaze as she talked. She didn't realize how she was leaning to the side, her body shifting toward Van's, as she spoke.

She didn't realize, whether from adrenaline or drink or distraction, until she felt Van shift to cross one leg over the other beneath her. She almost drew back, but that would only draw more attention to herself, and by extension, her unconscious movement. So instead, she shifted her hips just slightly away from Van's and kept herself upright with no problems until Van's hand rested gently on her waist. She felt her heart skip a beat again, her breath hitching on instinct. She tried to recover her dignity by starting to talk, but she must have underestimated the amount of rum she'd had, because producing words was harder than she'd expected.

"You alright, Junker?" Van asked. "You've had an awful lot to drink."

"I'm fine." She knew Van could tell she was lying, but she didn't know how to convince her. "I am going to go to bed. Goodnight, everyone."

"I'll make sure she gets to her quarters safe," Van said, standing up after her. Marya tried to protest, but Van was clearly hearing none of it as she placed a hand lightly on Marya's lower back as she guided Marya up to her quarters. "You get changed, now. I've gotta make sure you get in bed safe, but I trust you can put on a nightgown yourself."

Marya laughed, shutting the door to put on her best nightgown- she wanted to impress Van, even if it was just for a moment- buttoning the gown over her combinations. She opened the door slightly, letting Van know she was decent, and sat down in front of her vanity. Van stepped inside, glancing around at the room.

"Do you always braid your hair?" Marya asked, her words coming out slurred.

"Most days. If we're in port for a few days, I may leave it down." Van tugged all the miniature braids from Marya's hair, gently brushing it smooth and reaching for a ribbon. "It'll be curly in the mornin' if you let me braid it?"

"Sure." Marya smiled, relaxing into Van's touch as she gently tugged Marya's hair into a braid, humming some sailor's lullaby.

"Your hair is so long." Van stepped back to tie off the braid with a ribbon before bringing it over Marya's shoulder. "There you are, captain." Marya stood up- slowly, she wasn't drunk enough to knock herself out- and before she knew it, she was laying down in bed, a water bottle and a painkiller on her nightstand, and Van tucked her covers to her shoulders. "Goodnight, Junker. Sweet dreams." She flicked off the lights, turning the fan on at Marya's request, as she shut the door.

Marya dreamt of Scrapsylvania and warm hands and all that she was running from and fast-beating hearts and the last person she kissed and the next one she wanted to.

Chapter Text

Vanellope Chapman rolled her shoulder as she sat outside the dressing room. They had landed near the beach in New Pilby, and Marya, apparently, did not own a bathing costume. Somehow, in the past five years, they had never ended up in a beach area long enough for Marya to get one for herself. Comfrey had, thankfully, remembered to pay them, though Van would have been perfectly happy to pay for Marya's bathing costume- as is her duty as Marya's best friend, of course.

"Van?" Marya asked bashfully from behind the curtain. "I think I have put it on correctly." Van stood up as Marya pulled the curtain to the side. She looked… oh, gods, she looked amazing. Van pushed all the thoughts running through her mind to the curtained corner she sent most of her thoughts about Marya. She smiled, a real smile, not the one she'd plaster on for Comfrey these days.

"You look amazing, captain." Van's voice had a hint of laughter behind it, and Marya smiled back.

"You really think so?"

"Of course, Junker. You're gorgeous." Van reached out to tuck a loose curl behind Marya's ear and she felt the heat of Marya's face. She was sure her face was similarly warm, though she didn't quite know why. Marya smiled, and Van felt her heart leap into her throat.

"Alright, well. I will change back into my clothes and then we will check out?" Van nodded. As Marya closed the curtain again, Van stepped away from the dressing rooms. A shiny, silver ring caught her attention- a simple, flat band of silver with a single gemstone set inside. It was small and red, and Van knew Marya would like it. She picked it up only to find a matching one in gold, a green gem in place of the red one. This was, objectively, a silly idea. But best friends got matching jewelry all the time, right? …Right?

Van grabbed the gold ring as well, bringing them up to the checkout counter before Marya could see her. She very easily paid for the rings- it was not as though her financial situation was dependent on Comfrey's memory, though she did her best to remind the professor- and slipped them into her pocket as she waited for Marya to reemerge.

"You ready to go?" Van asked, taking Marya's bag from her full hands. Marya nodded, bringing the bathing costume up to the counter. It was a simple thing, with a small ship's wheel detail at the collar and an anchor over the heart. The sleeves were puffy, as with many bathing costumes these days, and it was far shorter in the skirt than Van's. Marya checked out, grimacing at the price, but paying it willingly nonetheless. Van rested a hand on her shoulder, and as they walked back to the Zephyr, her hand would often fall to Marya's elbow or hand. They got a few looks, but Pilby was far from the worst place to be mistaken for courting.

The next morning, as Van was preparing her beach bag, she pulled the rings from her pocket from the day before. She stared down at them for a moment before pulling a small zippered pouch from her nightstand to slip them into before shoving it into her bag. She slung the bag over her shoulder and knocked on Marya's door.

"Come in," Marya called out. Van opened the door slowly, finding Marya in her bathing costume fiddling with her hair.

"Marya, you need to get dressed," Van said. Marya tilted her head. "You can't wear your bathing costume out in town. You've got to change in the bathing machine."

"What the fuck is a bathing machine? Is that, like, a bathtub?"

Van snorted. "No, Junker, it's the little box you change into your bathing costume in so no men see you indecent at the beach." Marya stared at Van, presumably looking for her to laugh and say she was joking. It didn't come, though, because she wasn't lying. "You really have never been to a beach at all?"

"Van, I grew up in a very religious household on a trash island. No, I haven't been to the beach." Oh. Van forgot about that. The religious part, not the trash island part. She didn't know how she'd forgotten- many of Marya's nervous ticks were deeply associated with the Gastonic Church of old- something she'd only grown up around in ports and on holidays. Sailors were deeply superstitious, of course, but Van had never seen anyone fold and unfold their fingers or cross over their torso the way Marya did when she was anxious.

"Right, sorry." Van felt her throat go dry, trying not to let her breathing turn shallow. Marya must have noticed the heat rushing to her cheeks, because she smiled and squeezed Van in a hug.

"Do you want to go pack some snacks, then? I suppose I will have to get dressed again." Van nodded, swallowing thickly and turning on her heel to the galley.

At the beach, where the sun was high and bright, Van and Marya climbed into the bathing machine. Van started to draw the curtain between them closed, but Marya shook her head and shrugged.

"I don't know that I put it on correctly in the dressing room at the shop." Van didn't know about that, but she left the curtain open anyway. She very pointedly looked away from Marya as she began to undo the buttons on her blouse. Marya's corset hit the floor with the loud jingles that accompanied its every move. Van looked at the wooden ceiling as she heard Marya moving- she wanted, a little bit, for Marya to forget she was there- and didn't look back until she was dressed and Marya cleared her throat pointedly. She turned to look at Marya, and her breath caught in her throat. "How do I look?" Marya asked, twirling around with a little flourish.

Van's eyes drifted over Marya's bathing costume, lingering just a second too long over her chest and thighs, before she startled and swallowed her first instinct. "You look- you look great, Junker."

Marya grinned, leaning out the window and- much to the dismay of the driver- shot a bird from the sky. In that moment- wind ripping through the loose curls of Marya's hair, grin wider than the sun, aim on point- Van realized something. All of the feelings about Marya that she had cordoned off were bubbling to the front of her mind. Fuck. She tried to press them down, to hold her hands and feet and face where they were, but Vanellope Chapman was nothing if not impulsive. She leaned close to Marya, one hand resting gently on her jaw and the other hovering just over the ribbon on Marya's waist. Marya forced her grin into a softer smile, and Van could feel her own heart beat like a rabbit's.

"What is all this, then?" Marya asked, and despite her air of confidence, as Van reached for Marya's hand, she felt her pulse racing. Van breathed in, trying not to breathe in Marya's face, and fixed Marya in a gaze.

"I apologize for the forwardness, captain," she said softly, "but you look incredible." Van turned her head down toward her chest, pushing out a shaky breath. "I, um, sorry, I-" Marya cut her off by pushing up on her tip-toes and kissing her. All of Van's nerves were on fire, and she was dying. Yeah, that was it.

Marya's lips were soft and somehow cold as she brought her hands to Van's face. Van's newly free hand floated for a moment before settling on Marya's waist, and when Van pulled back, it was only because she realized the bathing machine had stopped moving.

"We should, um, we should put away our clothes," Van mumbled, sure her face was akin to a strawberry. "We don't want them to get wet." Marya looked at her intently with those gorgeous honey-brown eyes for a moment, but nodded. She scooped up her corset and the rest of her clothes- a red walking suit that had made Van's pulse speed up- and folded them, setting them on top of Van's. Marya's hand slipped into Van's, and she felt her heart speed up again. Marya was going to kill her, she thought.

Chapter Text

"Alright, we've got about half an hour blocked off in this square, so feel free to explore!" the tour guide exclaimed. The square included four gorgeous buildings and the most ornate fountain Marya had ever seen- the intricate details on the fountain, on the walls of the church, on the inn, on the bridge they had just crossed. "We've got the church to your left, that's the church where the Reina Aracamani was married." Van looked so enraptured as the tour guide talked, and Marya felt her heart race from more than just the hot sun.

Marya squeezed Van's hand in hers, her attention shifting from the tour guide. Marya tilted her head toward the church, and Van scrunched up her face. A silent are you sure?, a silent why?, a silent I'm here. She nodded. I'm sure. Van squeezed her hand tighter, noticing her rising heart rate and pulling a water bottle from her pack. After a moment, Marya took the offer, and she drank far more of the water than she thought she had needed. Her heart kept its pace, though from anxiety rather than the heat.

Marya hated to slip her hand out of Van's, but as they pulled off from the group, she tugged open the heavy door of the church. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped over the threshold.

It had not yet been 10 years since the last time Marya Junková had crossed the threshold of a Gastonian church. She did not know why she thought this was a good idea, but then Van pressed a warm hand to her back and she startled from her panic.

"You alright, Junker?" she asked softly. Marya nodded, and Van slipped her hand back into Marya's.

It took considerable effort for Marya not to let her breath shake as she walked through down the center to the altar. Something she couldn't identify was compelling her to mount the stage, to bow, to kneel. She kept her feet firmly on the ground. She knew her steps were stilted, that her movement was unnatural, but that was better than not moving at all. She couldn't stop moving, couldn't stop walking, couldn't stop shaking. She needed to pray, she needed to repent, she needed to believe again.

"Junker," Van whispered. "Junker, we're leavin', alright?"

Marya couldn't hear her. She must have fallen to her knees, because she felt her feet bend inside her boots. Her hands were clasped in her lap, and she couldn't stop her lips from moving.

"We thank you, Lord God, heavenly Father, for all your benefits-" There was a strong hand under Marya's bent knees and another on her back as she continued the prayer. Marya's eyes drifted to the gorgeous painted ceilings of the church, smiling when she recognized the art. The door opened, and she squinted at the harsh light of the sun.

"Captain, you can't do that to me." Van's voice was hushed, as though they were in a church service. "We're going back to the ship."

"'M fine," Marya lied, chest heaving. There's no way Van didn't know she was lying, of course, but it couldn't hurt. Van didn't dignify that with a response, which somehow hurt worse. She didn't want to let Van know how she felt, didn't want her to worry, but she knew Van would worry no matter what. She settled into the affection, head resting at the crook of Van's neck and her torso resting against Van's. Van must have noticed, because she felt a soft kiss press to her forehead.

"I've got you, Junker. You're safe. I'm here." Marya hummed involuntarily, and Van smiled against her forehead. She held Marya close until they reached port, where Marya tried to wiggle out of her arms. "Captain, are you sure?"

"Yes, Van, I'm sure. I can walk onto the ship myself." Van was obviously skeptical, even Marya could tell, but set her down, threading an arm around her waist. Marya rolled her eyes, but despite her feigned disdain, she appreciated the care. It wasn't as though they were keeping any sort of secret from the others- everyone knew they had a loose Something between the two of them- and she really was still upset. She just couldn't let Van know that was the case.

"Hey, Monty," Van called as they boarded the ship. "Are there waters in the icebox?"

"There should be, yeah. What's up?"

Van seemed to think for a moment, as much as she ever did, before settling on saying, "Marya overheated on the tour. Gotta keep the captain happy. Thank you, darlin'." Marya resisted the urge to scowl as a small wave of jealousy rolled over her, fading into all the other negative emotions she was feeling and tinging them green. Van's arm on her hip guided her gently to her quarters, and despite the heat and bright sun, Marya felt a chill as she laid down. She must have started shaking again, because Van offered her a smaller blanket- a throw blanket, she'd called it. It was soft- knit, or perhaps crocheted, Marya thought- and warmer than she would have expected. She let Van wrap her up in it, stroking her hair with the same care she saw Daisuke show to Comfrey the last time she'd been hurt in a battle.

"Will you be okay alone for a few minutes if I go get us some water?" Van asked, her voice soft and her tone even softer.

"Yeah," Marya managed. She felt herself relax, and unconsciously, she leaned into Van's gentle forehead kiss. As the door shut behind Van, the click quiet and careful, for the first time in her 23 years, her mind was quiet. It was always full of new ideas or those put into her head by others, or the need to go and move and run, or thoughts of Van and what she wanted to do to her. But now, though, her thoughts stilled, and she looked up at the familiar wood of her ceiling. She let out a shaky sigh, and all she could think of was how much she wanted Van to be back. Even with the warmth of the blanket, she couldn't shake the chill in her bones.

"Hey, Junker," Van said as she reentered the room. She had two water bottles in her hands, both of them dripping condensation onto the wooden floor. "Sorry about the mess."

Marya's heart swelled, feeling the care in Van's silly tone. "Do not worry about it, Van. Thank you." Van sat down carefully on Marya's bed, as though she had not been in Marya's bed, or even in Marya's room before.

"How are you feelin', captain?" She carefully pushed Marya's bangs from her forehead, sprinkling cool water over her red face. Marya giggled at the sensation, a sort of renewed baptism into Van's life.

"I'm alright, Van. I don't need you to fawn after me." Marya looked up at her, eyes wide.

"I want to."

The seriousness in Van's tone, the way she looked at Marya like she'd hung the stars in the sky, the concentrated affection in her touch would have brought Marya to her knees if she had been standing. As it was, laying down and wrapped up in a blanket in her bed, she couldn't help but reach her arms out for Van.

"Give me a moment, Mar," Van whispered, setting the water bottles on Marya's crowded nightstand. She crossed to the other side of the bed, and Marya scrunched up her face. She wanted Van to hold her now. Finally, Van's strong arms wrapped around Marya, holding her close to her chest and kissing her forehead again. Marya rolled her eyes affectionately and kissed Van on the lips, trying to prove to her that she was fine. She was not, of course, but Van didn't need to know that.

"Hi, sailor," Marya said softly, and she grinned as Van blushed to the tips of her ears. Marya stroked her fingers over Van's jaw- her skin was so warm- and Van pressed a soft kiss to the pad of Marya's thumb. She laughed, and Marya giggled as Van's hot breath hit her face. "Let's just stay here for a while, yeah?" Van nodded, pulling Marya into a slow, gentle kiss. She could stay here for a long while, she thought.

Hours later, Marya dragged Van from the taxi through the square. She'd made sure there would be a way to get back, of course, and she had blindfolded Van so she couldn't stop her.

She knew it was a stupid idea. Of course she did. But the idea of it made her gut twist in the best way possible. She wanted to rewire her brain, to flip a switch and be fine, to heal the only way she knew how.

Marya tugged open the door of the church and ushered Van through. Somehow, without the light of the hot sun pouring in through the windows, it looked warmer, friendlier. She let the door shut softly behind her and tugged Van's blindfold off.

"Open your eyes, Van," Marya said.

"Oh, hell no, Marya. Why are we back here?"

Marya rolled her eyes. "It's fine. I plan to be… distracted, the rest of the time I'm in here, if you're amenable."

Van squinted at her, and Marya couldn't tell if she was trying to see her in the dark or discern what she meant. "Are you asking me to fuck you in this historic church?"

"I'm asking you to fuck me in this historic church."

Van rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine. But we're talking about this later." Marya shrugged, and she pulled Marya into a near-bruising kiss. Yeah, she could handle talking about it if it got her what she wanted.

Chapter Text

Van had, regrettably, not dressed for the weather. Everyone else on board was wearing jackets, or at least longer sleeves, but Van had rolled up her already too-short sleeves to show off. Marya had appreciated the view, though, she'd said.

"You are so cold," Marya mumbled, kissing at Van's collarbone. Her (hypocritically cold) hands were dragging up the front of Van's shirt, her underbust corset long since discarded on the floor.

"Why don't you warm me up then?" Van's voice came out shakier than she'd expected, and only in that moment had she realized she was shivering. Marya, knowing Van was implying, simply tugged the covers over herself and Van.

"These should keep you warm." Marya dragged a hand through Van's tangled hair, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Van pouted a bit before letting herself melt into the affection. "There you are, sweetheart. Relax." Van was never one to deny her captain, and her eyes fluttered closed as Marya's hands traced over her stomach, her chest, her arms. Her fingers pressed just beneath the waistband of her pants, only brushing Van's ribcage, an old scar she had forgotten until Marya's nails traced over the curve of it. She shuddered at the sensation, and Marya smiled softly. "Yeah? That feel nice?"

Van hummed, trying to hide her true feelings, but she supposed her glassy eyes and sleepy smile must have given her away. "Shut up," she mumbled, face turning pink. Marya grinned, leaning close. Van figured she was going to whisper a secret, or kiss her, but instead, Marya blew on her ear. Van laughed and shoved her away. "You're evil!"

"You love me." Marya smiled like a cat who got the cream, and Van felt her heart skip a beat at the words.

Van's laughter gave way to a solemn expression, and Marya looked worried. "I do." She swallowed thickly. "Love you. I love you."

Marya inhaled sharply, staring at her for a moment before gently putting a hand on Van's thigh. "I love you, too." They locked eyes, and neither of them moved. They couldn't move.

"Mar?" Van whispered.

"I am here." Marya took a shaky breath, closing her eyes. "We should… talk about it, right?"

"I guess so." Van wasn't particularly happy about it, but it seemed important to Marya, so it was important to her, she supposed.

"I… well, I hate to admit this aloud." Marya took a sip from her water. "I have had… a mash on you. For quite some time." Van raised an eyebrow and smirked. She'd had her suspicions, of course, and it's not as though it wasn't reciprocated, but hearing Marya say it in as many words gave her a certain amount of satisfaction.

"How long, Junker?"

Marya rolled her eyes, but her bravado was long gone as she whispered, "Six years."

Van's jaw dropped. Six years ago was… when Marya had first joined the crew. "Marya." Van's voice was hushed. "Six years?" Marya nodded silently. "Gods, Junker. I… well, I suppose I don't have all that much room to talk. It's only been, what, two, maybe three years on my part, though." Marya rolled her eyes again.

"Wait, that was- you were hooking up with me most of the past two years?" Marya seemed in shock. "How did you not… say something sooner?"

"You had a mash on me for six years and didn't say anything!" Van looked at her in disbelief. "You have no room to talk, Marya."

Just then, Van's eyebrows knit in distress and Marya's eyes boring into Van's soul, they heard the doorknob click and turn. Baby MacLeod, but one year old, waddled into the room.

"Hey, baby!" Van exclaimed, scooping them up into her arms. Baby MacLeod giggled, and Van watched Marya smile warmly at the both of them.

"Poppy!" Baby MacLeod yelled excitedly, smacking their little hands on Van's shoulders. "Maya!" Marya reached a hand up to gently touch Baby MacLeod's nose. They giggled, and Van bounced them gently on her hip.

"Where's Grandma, kiddo?" Van asked, Marya's arm winding around her waist.

"'Fee's ou'side!" Van slowly started to carry them toward the door, glancing at Marya as she followed behind. Van bounced them on her hip a bit more, before handing the baby over to Comfrey.

"Bye, baby," Marya said softly, kissing Baby MacLeod on the top of their head. The baby smiled as the two of them retreated back, waving and blowing small baby kisses.

As soon as the door was shut again, Van yawned and settled into the reading nook Marya had set up in the captain's quarters for her. Marya sat apprehensively on the bed, her hands falling into her lap.

"So." Marya swallowed, and Van watched every movement of her lips and throat with the intensity she would watch a storm- monitoring, tracking her every move, blinking only when she did. She didn't want to let Marya from her sight for even a split second, instead letting her eyes grow dry with her attention as she watched. "Would you like to… would courting be an appropriate word? Or do you consider yourself too old to court?"

"We can call it courting, Junker. Only in name, though- I can't only be around you in public, I'll go crazy. Do you want me to… what do you want me to call you, to other people?"

"I…" Marya went quiet for a moment. "What about lover?" Van could see a slight pink tinge in her cheeks, and was sure her own were far redder.

"As in, 'This is Marya, my lover and captain'?" Van stood up and crossed the room to sit next to Marya. If Marya wanted to stop her, she could have. She did not, instead letting her breath hitch as Van sat next to her on the bed. Their hips were inches apart, their hands even further.

"Yes, that sounds… that sounds good." Marya reached a small hand between them, leaving her palm up for Van to press her own against. Van did, trying to channel all the love she could into the touch. Marya smiled. "What about you?"

Van hadn't considered that. She forgot, somehow, that she was part of this, too. That she mattered to Marya, too. "I don't… I don't know." She swallowed a lump in her throat. She tried to regulate her breathing, to keep herself steady. As she failed to do that, Marya squeezed her hand and thumbed over her knuckles.

"That's alright. You don't have to know now." Marya slowly, telegraphing her movements, leaned her head against Van's shoulder. "We've got all the time in the world."

A while later, with Marya's head resting on Van's now-bare chest and tinkering with something from her pack, Van thought of something. She cleared her throat softly, and Marya set down what she was working on.

"Something wrong, Van?"

"I… um, could you call me your bird?" she mumbled, cheeks pink up to her ears. "Like, to other people? And maybe also to me?" Marya grinned, rolling over to face her. Van's hands instinctively braced on Marya's hips.

"Aww, of course, my bird." Marya pressed a soft kiss to Van's lips, and Van felt like she was going to implode.

"Thank you," Van whispered, earning another kiss from Marya as her hands began to wander. Van giggled, starting to flip them over before Marya braced her calves on the bed, locking herself on top. Van could devote herself to Marya, she thought, almost religiously. She'd still be learning more about her lover, her captain, her Marya.

Chapter Text

Marya yawned as Van stood up from behind her, warm hands lifting from her shoulders. She heard the sound of Van's nightstand drawer sliding open and shut, and then the soft sound of Van's stockings on her floor.

"Do you want your first birthday present tonight or early tomorrow morning, my sky?" Van held a small box in her hands, and Marya felt warmth swell in her chest.

"Can I open it now?" Marya asked, eyes bright and hopeful as she looked up at Van.

"Of course, Junker. Wouldn't have offered if you couldn't."

Marya gingerly tore the paper from the box, trying her best to keep the paper in one piece. Van laughed softly at her care, sitting next to her and kissing her on the forehead. Marya lifted the lid of the box, gasping at the contents.

"Oh, Van," she said softly. "Where did you… find these?" The box was full of beads, made from metals and gemstones of all rarities. She tentatively reached in and pulled one out- a small, red stone that looked far more expensive than Marya could ever think to spend on anyone, including herself.

"Oh, I went through one of the Chapman storage units last time we were in Eisengeist. I found one of the boxes of jewelry in there, picked some out that reminded me of you." For a moment, Marya was shocked. She somehow always forgot Van's family wealth until it came up in full force. Van's hand rested high on Marya's back, the warmth seeping through her body.

"Thank you." Marya swallowed the incoherencies she was thinking- that she was not worthy of this, that Van should take it back, that she shouldn't even be touching these- and turned to face Van. "Thank you, my bird." She pulled Van's face down to kiss her. Van smiled against her lips and wrapped an arm around Marya's waist.

"Junker, love?" Van asked. Marya pulled back, tilting her head. "Would you like me to braid some of them into your hair?" Marya didn't know how to react. She gasped, grinning widely. Van looked a bit confused, but quickly took on her enthusiasm. Marya nodded, scrambling through a drawer for a roll of thin, silvery ribbon. Van smiled, gently weaving the ribbon into a braid and adding beads into the braids, continuing to add a few extra braids to each side of her face.

"Hey," Marya murmured as Van finally laid down next to her. "Thank you." She moved closer to Van, letting her now-fiancée wrap her up in the warmest hug.

"'Course, my sky." Van kissed the top of Marya's head, wrapping a beaded strand of hair around her finger. "You look really pretty like this." Marya felt her face heat up, and she leaned up to kiss Van.

"I love you, Van."

"I love you, too, Marya." Van's hand was warm over the lace of her nightgown. "We should go to sleep, though. We've got a packed mornin'." Marya sighed, stopping the movement of her hands over Van's combinations. She let herself relax, though, as Van turned off the light, falling asleep wrapped in Van's strong arms and feeling safer than she'd ever been.

Marya twirled around in the dressing room, reveling in the way the beads in her hair clacked together and the way the skirt swished against her ankles. She laughed quietly and tried to push down the urge to check the price tag.

"What are you laughin' about, captain?" Van asked. Marya opened the curtain of the dressing room, revealing the pretty white skirt Van had picked out. "Oh, sweetheart," she breathed, "you look amazing."

"Thank you, sailor." She twirled around again and watched as Van's smile grew wider.

"I'm the luckiest boatswain in the world, aren't I?" Van's voice was breathy as she put her hands on Marya's hips.

"We are in public," Marya whispered. "Can you wait, sweetheart?" Van sighed, withdrawing her hands. "Thank you." She leaned up to kiss Van softly before retreating back into the dressing room and tugging the curtain closed. She slipped the skirt off- it really was a perfect fit, even with how wiry Marya was- and her eyes were drawn to the price tag as it fell to the floor. Her jaw dropped, and she very quickly picked it up from the floor to smooth it out and hung it back on the hanger. She swallowed the thick anxiety that welled in her throat and pulled her own skirt back on, making sure her shirt was tucked neatly in around the waist. She oh so carefully gathered the expensive skirt and carried it from the dressing room, trying to navigate back to where it had been pulled from.

"What are you doin', Junker? I thought you liked the skirt." Van caught her arm, spinning her around to look up at her.

"It is nice, yes, but I can't spend 200 marks on a skirt."

"You don't have to, love. It's your birthday, I've got it." Marya scowled, but Van's hand was soft on the side of her face as she tried to smooth out the scrunch of her nose. "Let me do nice things for you."

"Van…" Marya trailed off as Van took the skirt from her and brought it to the cash register. She watched as Van had an exchange of words with the cashier and paid, gesturing for Marya to follow her out of the store. "Have a good day," she said to the cashier, who waved. "Thank you, darling."

"Of course, Marya. I'd spend any amount of money on you- and, for the record, 200 marks is nothing. Wait 'till you see my mum's pub." Marya squeezed Van's hand and Van dragged her into another store.

"Good afternoon," the cashier said, clearly bored. "I like the beads in your hair."

Marya beamed. "Thank you! My wife put them in last night."

"Quit telling people we're married, my mom is gonna find out," Van chided, rolling her eyes. "We're not married, but I did her hair."

Marya rolled her eyes, drifting into the dress section of the store. She found herself drawn to a white dress with buttons down the bodice and the most gorgeous bustle she'd ever seen. It was undoubtedly more than she could ever justify, but as Marya touched it with the lightest touch she'd ever used, Van pulled it down from the rack for her.

"You cannot be serious." Marya's voice was hushed, the lump in her throat still present.

"I am, Marya. If you like it, I'll buy it for you." Van pressed a hand to her shoulder. "Like I said, sweetheart, I'm not worried about money. And even if I was, you're worth whatever amount of money I could possibly spend." She smiled. "You deserve the world, darling."

Marya swallowed back a sob, taking the dress gently in her arms and stepping into the dressing room. She stepped out of her skirt and carefully folded her shirt. As she looked in the mirror, she felt her breath catch in her chest and a fist wrap around her heart. It was rare that she felt this way, truly, but she tugged the laces from her corset and tugged them even tighter. She tied the corset as tight as she could justify, not concerned about her struggle to breathe. It didn't matter, really. She would be fine.

She tugged the cage crinoline on over her corset before slipping the skirt over her head and smoothing it over the bustle. She tugged the bodice closed over her chest- it was loose, as she'd expected it would be- and buttoned the long line of buttons down her front. When she stepped out of the dressing room, Van's jaw dropped.

"Oh my god, Junker, holy shit," Van said. She surged forward, sweeping Marya up in a tight hug that threatened her already-struggling lungs. "You look… wow, Marya, you look amazing."

"Thank you," Marya whispered. She could tell her voice was ragged, but Van didn't seem to notice- or if she did, she didn't point anything out. "I, um, I will go change and put it back."

"Do you not want it?" Van's brow furrowed. "I can find you a different one, if you don't want this one, but you look stunning."

"Van, I cannot ask you to buy this for me." Marya felt her heart speed up and her vision started to blur, whether from dizziness or tears she couldn't tell. "I cannot-"

"Marya." Van pulled her into another hug, gentler this time, and held her close to her chest. Marya resisted the urge to bite or kiss or laugh or something, letting herself relax into the touch. "I want to buy it for you. Let me buy the dress if you want it." She kissed the top of Marya's head, hand smoothing over the spot on her shoulder that ached most often. "Let me do nice things for you, my sky." Marya let Van hold her for a moment more, squeezing the anxiety from her body. She pulled back, blinking the tears behind her eyes back further. She nodded, and Van smiled. "Thank you, captain." The sincerity in her voice made Marya's chest hurt, but she extracted herself from Van's arms. She smiled, and she knew it was wobbly, but Van didn't press.

Marya carefully unbuttoned the blouse, hanging it and the rest of the components on the hanger, just in case Van changed her mind. She redressed herself, making sure her skirt was smooth and her hair was neat. She wanted to look her best.

"Alright, sailor, are you ready to go?" Marya asked. She handed Van the dress on the hanger to do what she liked with it. Marya wanted to give Van that control over her, let her decide what to do with her. She shook the thought from her head, turning her attention to Van's movement toward the register again. She couldn't fight the smile tugging at her lips and leaned her head against Van's shoulder as she checked out. She could hear the exchange between the cashier and Van this time, but she wasn't paying attention. All she really heard was Van's name as she drifted off in thought of how she was loved and in love.

Comfrey had instructed Marya to fly to the Uplands, so she did. Comfrey had instructed Marya to dock 'near the big, upside down boat,' so she did. Comfrey had instructed Marya not to ask questions, so she didn't.

Marya only put two and two together when she saw Lavinia Chapman standing outside the big, upside down boat with open arms.

"Vanellope! Why didn't you tell me you were gettin' married?"

"Because I'm not?"

"Van, we are married," Marya said. Van turned on her heel to stare at her in disbelief.

"We're not married, Marya."

"You braided beads into my hair! There is nothing more married than that!"

"Van, did you not read up on your own partner's marriage traditions?" Mrs. Chapman asked incredulously. "I guess you were too caught up doing… other things, hm?"

Van's face was red as a strawberry, but she had fixed Marya in a look. "Marya, is that why you were telling people I was your wife? Because, by tradition, I am?"

"Yes, I thought you knew! I did not think you would be foolish enough not to look into things like that." Marya felt hot anxiety rise in her chest, and Van seemed to be able to tell.

Van closed her eyes, took a deep breath, slowly stepped toward Marya. Marya didn't step away. Slowly, telegraphing her movements, she reached for Marya's hand, squeezed tightly. "I… am sorry, Marya. I did not realize what the gesture meant to you." She swallowed, and Marya couldn't tear her eyes away from the way her throat bobbed. And then, softer, "I love you."

Marya's eyes softened, and she watched Van's turn glassy. "It is alright, bird. I do not think there were any books about Scrapsylvania on the ship. I probably would have read them by now." She pulled Van into a tight hug, surprising even herself with the show of strength. "I love you, too."

Van's mother cleared her throat, and Marya simply blinked at her. "So do I get to plan you two a wedding or not?"

Marya raised an eyebrow at Van. "What do you say, sweetheart, do you want to make it official?"

"Ah, fuck it, why not? Absolutely." Marya bit her tongue to keep from giggling as Van scooped her up. "Mum, this is my fiancée, Marya."

"Yeah, I gathered that." Mrs. Chapman gestured toward the door. "Would you like to come inside? It's raining." Van carried Marya inside, Marya's hands tangling into Van's braid.

"Can I braid a bead or two into your hair?" Marya whispered, hardly noticing herself speak.

"Huh?" Van blinked at her, processing what she had said. "I… don't know that it would work, my hair's a lot thinner than yours, but if you want to, you can try." Marya smiled, burying her face against Van's neck to press feather-light kisses to her skin.

"How did you not know that was a marriage proposal, Van?" Mrs. Chapman asked, leading them through a pub- presumably the one she ran- and into a living room.

"I don't know, I just thought she looked pretty." Marya giggled quietly, drumming her fingers on the back of Van's neck. Van's face was pink up to the tips of her ears, and she was clearly embarrassed.

"It is alright, Van," she murmured. "You are okay." Van hummed, and Marya could tell she didn't quite believe her. "My bird, I have got you." Marya felt Van shudder under her hands as she reached the couch, setting her down carefully before sitting next to her. Van rested her head in Marya's lap, and Marya carefully started to undo Van's careful braid. "Sweet Vanellope."

"Alright, Comfrey told me you can be here for a week," Lavinia said. "6 days is not a lot of time to plan a wedding, but I can get a few relatives from my side." Marya didn't quite know why there were no living relatives from Van's father, but she had started to notice. "I don't know if you all need new outfits-" Marya shook her head, and Van shrugged- "or if there's anything specifically important to you, but I can make a big pot of stew and some cake if you tell me what flavor you want."

Marya looked down at Van, who was looking right back at her, as though in a challenge. "What cake do you want?" Marya asked.

"What cake do you want?" Marya raised an eyebrow, and somehow, for one of the first times in her life, Marya saw desperation cross Van's face. It was buried in an instant, of course, but Marya knew something was wrong. "Please, Junker. I want to make it up to you."

"You did not do anything wrong, Van." Marya's tone was laced with affection. "Neither of us talked to each other about it. We were foolish, as we so often are. That is it." Marya noticed that she was wringing her hands, and Van must have noticed, too, because she reached for one of Marya's hands.

"I love you," Van whispered. She squeezed Marya's hand and moved to sit up.

"I love you, too." Marya leaned against Van's shoulder. "But seriously, what kind of cake do we want?"

"Van, darling?" Marya overheard. She and Monty were fawning over some regular's dog in the Rusty Nut.

"Yeah, Mum?" Van asked, approaching her mother at the bar.

"Is Marya religious?" Marya felt her breath catch in her chest. She had to leave, she had to get out, she had to believe again. "I just saw her crossing herself, 's all. Wanted to know if I needed to change my wedding plans."

"She… used to be. 'S not my story to tell." Van leaned across the bar, and Marya turned to watch her move. "If… if you ask her, be delicate about it. Don't pity her, but don't be callous."

"Oh, Vanellope, when have I ever been callous?" Van must have done the eyebrow raise she always does, because her mom burst out laughing. "That was a good one, though," she said, "you have to admit."

Marya wanted to insert herself into the conversation, wanted to make them stop, wanted Van to not know the intricacies of her brain and her heart and her past. She really didn't, though. What she wanted, what she truly, deeply wanted, was for Van to know everything about her, to envelop her completely, to wrap Marya up in her strong arms and keep her so close it hurt to let go. She wanted Van to keep her safe, keep her at home on the Zephyr, keep her upright. She didn't notice herself drifting toward Van until she felt Van's warm hands on her back.

"Hey there, captain," Van said softly, her smile so bright it made Marya want sunscreen. "You doin' alright?" Marya only hummed, pressing closer to Van. Her laugh was the best sound Marya had ever heard, she thought. She could listen to it all day and never get tired. "You have a bit too much to drink?"

"No, I am fine. I simply… missed you, I suppose." Van pulled her into a tight squeeze, kissing the top of her head. "Wanted you."

"Well, darling, you've got me." Van held Marya there for a moment, and Marya let the warmth seep into her cold bones. She hadn't noticed how cold she was until Van's warm body pressed against her own. "Do you want to go lay down? You're shakin'."

Marya nodded, and instead of grabbing her hand the way she expected, Van scooped her up into her arms again. Marya giggled as Van spun her around and waved to Monty and Mrs. Chapman. She buried her face into Van's neck, and she was set down gently on the guest bed. Van tilted her head and moved to leave, but Marya whined. She was embarrassed, but Van grinned at her, and she felt the warmth.

"You want me to stay?" Van moved to lay down next to her. Marya nodded, and Van immediately started to undo the latches of Marya's corset. She raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna be mad at me if I let you sleep in this god-awful corset. I know you own others, why do you wear this one so much?"

Marya could only shrug. "Do not want to waste it." Van only hummed, helping Marya out of the straps and throwing it to the floor. Marya, suddenly, felt sleep wash over her, curling up against Van and letting the warmth of her boatswain soothe her to sleep.

Marya's hair was curled tightly and brought up into a chignon. A few stray, thin strands fell around her face as Comfrey tried to wrap them around her thin-barreled curling tongs. She glanced at the crown of orange blossom and aster resting on the surface of the vanity. Her heart fluttered thinking of what Van would wear- she had hidden it from her, saying she "didn't get to peek" and that "it's a surprise." Marya was curious, but more importantly, she was excited to see Van's outfit.

"There you go, kid." Comfrey pinned the flowers to Marya's head and adding her veil to the center of her head. "What do you think?"

Marya spun in the mirror, gasping when she saw herself. "I am… I am beautiful," she whispered.

"Hell yeah, you are!" Comfrey grinned. "I've gotta go stand with Van, but Pappy'll come get you soon enough." Marya nodded, swallowing back her anxiety and patting some rouge onto her pale cheeks. She rinsed her hands of the extra pink before there was a knock on the door.

"You ready in there, kid?" Daisuke asked. Marya opened the door, and she could see that his eyes were glassy.

"Yes, I am ready. Let us go?" Pappy nodded and hooked his elbow through hers and guided her down the stairs to the back door of the pub. Marya noticed a lone tear running down Pappy's face, and she couldn't help but laugh a bit at the sight. He opened the door to the backyard and slowly started to walk her down the aisle. It was a small ceremony- only Mrs. Chapman's brother and sister and the rest of the Zephyr crew- Monty and Comfrey were standing at the front with Van and Lavinia- but Marya felt very self conscious. Pappy pulled his arm from hers as she stood in front of Van, who immediately took her hands. Van looked amazing, in a plain blouse- ruffles down the front, it nearly looked like it was taken from Marya's own wardrobe- and green trousers.

Marya knew Mrs. Chapman was talking, but what she was saying flew right over Marya's head. She was only grinning up at Van, who was smiling right back. She didn't notice that she had to read her vows until Monty tapped her on the shoulder, and she startled, drawing a laugh from the crowd.

"Van, I have only known you a few years, but through the past seven years, you have become my best friend, my lover, my sun and my moon, and it feels like I have been looking for you my whole life. I promise to stay with you through thick and thin, on the sky and the sea and the land, between injury and illness and health. Gods, Van, you have been my rock, my boatswain, my bird, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days with you. I love you." Marya felt hot, happy tears pricking in her eyes, and when she looked up, she saw tears streaming down Van's face.

"Marya, my light, my sky, my sweetheart, I can't believe I had the fortune of meeting you when I did. My captain, my north star, the light of my life. I can't wait to be with you in every battle, every town, every long stretch of sky. I love you and I always will, no matter what happens or where the sky leaves us." Lavinia handed Marya a ring- a simple, golden band- and Van held out her left hand.

"Marya, please place the ring on Van's finger and repeat after me." Marya did so, surprised she was holding the tears back as she spoke. "Van, please place the ring on Marya's finger and repeat after me." Van, too, did as she was told. "Do you, Marya Aurelie Junková-" that was not Marya's middle name- "take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Marya glanced down at her own ring- silver and similarly simple.

"I do," Marya said, just loud enough for Van and her mother to hear.

"Do you, Vanellope Aster Chapman, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Then, by the power vested in me by, well, I think the Uplands, I now pronounce you married! You may kiss!"

Marya shoved her bouquet of aster and roses at Daisuke, who took them with a laugh as she pulled Van down for a near-bruising kiss. The small crowd cheered, and Van squealed as she picked Marya up into a hug and spun her around, keeping their lips pressed together the whole time.

As Van set her down, Marya felt the tears return. She looked up at Van, her wife, tears still streaming down her face and the most gorgeous smile Marya had ever seen. She wasn't sure she'd ever be so happy again.

Chapter Text

Van laid her head on Marya's shoulder in the carriage. Marya and the professor were going to be giving a talk at a university in Grand Kabilia, and Van was going to sit in the back and read. Or at least, that was what Comfrey had said. The way her heart was squeezing in her chest and tears welling behind her eyes indicated otherwise- she would likely end up in the hall, blinking tears from her eyes the way she was now. Marya squeezed her thigh comfortingly.

"You alright, bird?" she asked. Her voice was so soft, softer than Van had ever deserved. Van could only shrug. "I am here, darling. You are alright." She swallowed back the lump in her throat and tried to believe her.

"Thank you for comin' along, Van. I know it's not really your scene." Comfrey said. Van felt that like a punch to her gut- she could take it, she always had, but damn, did it hurt- and tried not to breathe in too sharply. She felt Marya's thumb trace gentle crescents on the inside of her thigh. Van didn't want her to stop, but she also didn't want her to worry, so she tried to relax into the touch.

"Yeah, no problem." She tried again to swallow the sobs starting to rise in her throat. Marya seemed worried about her, and she couldn't have that. Comfrey and Marya had started talking to one another about what they were talking about, and every second word was something Van had never even heard of- whether it was physics or Scrapsylvanian, she hardly knew as her surroundings all blended together. She forced herself to stop shaking, and Marya had seemingly not noticed. Thank the gods. She spun her wedding ring on her finger, stopping again in her tracks- it was too obvious of a nervous habit, like Marya folding her hands or Pappy polishing his gun.

As Van sat in the lecture hall, struggling to pay attention to the content- this wasn't a particularly advanced lecture, and she knew she could understand the content if she tried, but her attention was split between the words and Marya and Comfrey and the rising panic in her chest and the sound of the chalk and the rustling of pages and-

She had to get out. She had to leave. She had to go somewhere.

As quietly as she could, she pushed her chair back and picked up her book, tugging the door open and slipping out. She felt the hard, wooden slats of a bench beneath her, heard the loud movement of the bench on the tile, tasted the blood in her mouth as she bit into her tongue. She hoped no one could hear as the sobs she tried to muffle. She couldn't help the feelings welling in her brain, the feeling of insecurity, the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of embarrassment at those feelings.

She didn't know how long it was before she heard the door swing open beside her, but instinctually, she moved to run.

"It is me, Van." Marya's voice was so soft, so drenched with love, so gentle, that it only made her feel worse. She gasped for air, trying to calm herself down, but all it did was make the room spin around her. Marya sat next to her, hips not quite touching hers. "Oh, my little flower. I am here."

Van could only whimper and lean closer, not caring about decorum anymore. She felt surprisingly strong arms pull her close, one hand on her waist, one on her hair. Marya pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, and Van felt the tightness in her chest begin to melt.

"You are alright, darling, you can cry. I am here. I have you." Marya pulled a handkerchief from her pack- somehow, it wasn't smudged with grease- and handed it to Van. She accepted it gratefully, wiping the tears and snot from her red face, and tried to take deep breaths. "Slowly, now, sailor. Do not want you to choke." Marya's fingers traced shapes over the thin fabric of Van's shirt.

"'M okay," Van said, but she could tell Marya knew better. She breathed out shakily and buried her face against Marya's shoulder.

"You do not need to be, darling." Marya squeezed her waist, providing the small amount of pressure to help soothe her, and laughed softly at the way Van's body relaxed immediately. "That good?" Van nodded, and she squeezed her waist again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Van could only shrug, but the words spilled out anyway. "I just… feel like I'm not good enough for you. You're so smart, and you're so pretty, and you could absolutely find someone better than me and younger than me and smarter than me and-" Van choked back another sob- "I just feel so stupid."

"Oh, Van," Marya murmured. "You are not stupid. You are, truly, one of the smartest people I know. You are gorgeous, and perfect, and so so talented." She squeezed Van's waist again, holding her close. "I love you, Vanellope, and I do not need a reason why. I have many, though, remind me to tell you some time." Van couldn't help but giggle.

"I love you, too," Van managed. "Thank you." Marya toyed with Van's hair. "You should… probably go back, yeah?"

"No, love. I will not go back in. You need me, now, so I will stay." Marya's voice was quiet, deeply saturated with care. "Was it… was it something I said?" Van shook her head. "Comfrey, then?" Van's silence was answer enough, apparently, because Marya sighed deeply.

"It's- it's fine, captain, nothing to worry about." Don't worry about me. It doesn't matter.

"I beg to differ, bird. Just because Comfrey is our boss does not mean that she can make my wife feel bad about herself. I am going to- ugh, was it when she said that she 'knows it is not really your scene?'"

"My sky, it's alright," Van tried to insist. Even she wasn't convinced, though- her voice was high and reedy, cracking on every word.

"No, Van, it is not. She does not get to make you feel bad about yourself. I will have… words with her." Something about the way Marya was looking at her made Van's stomach flip. Her pretty mouth was fixed in a hard line, her usually bright eyes almost stormy. "You are alright, sailor. My perfect wife."

"Mar…" Marya raised an eyebrow. "Mar, it's really okay."

"Vanellope, if you keep saying that, I am going to have words with you." Marya huffed a laugh. Van sighed and decided it would just be easier to let it go. "I… you do so much for me. Let me do something for you." She kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Van swallowed around the lump in her throat, which had dissipated significantly as Marya held her. "Think it's just one of those days," she said softly. "Normally it wouldn't get to me."

"It is alright to be upset, honey. There is nothing wrong with that." And maybe, just maybe, Van could believe her as she laid on the bench, her head resting on Marya's lap and Marya's hand on her hip.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Van felt her braid swishing behind her as she stepped onto the Zephyr for the first time in five years. She glanced at Marya, watching her fist move from in front of her forehead to her heart and over each shoulder. She subconsciously grimaced, squeezing Bert's hand and stepping away to where Marya had steeled herself against the railing.

"You alright there, Junker? Haven't seen you do that in damn near a decade."

"Yeah, well, you have not seen me at all in damn near a decade." Marya's voice held a trace of bitterness, but Van could somehow sense that it wasn't directed at her.

"I'm sorry, Mar." Van placed a hand next to Marya's for her to take if she wanted. "I… I should've come to see you, once I heard. As soon as I could've, I guess, since that was… my mum got sick, around then." Marya slipped her hand into Van's, and it was only then that Van noticed how short Marya's hair was now. "Your hair looks really nice." Much of it was tucked under her aviator's cap, as it had been during the original run of the Zephyr, but the loose strands that had escaped had lightened from Marya's years in the sun.

"Thank you. Yours does, too." Marya's voice was shakier than Van would like. "You… you said your mother-"

"She got… really sick, about a month after we got word of your accident. Bert and I had to cancel our plans to visit. I'm really sorry." Van squeezed Marya's hand, half-wishing she'd pull away so Van didn't have to keep talking. "I missed you, captain." She heard Marya whisper something. "What was that?"

"I am no captain." Van's heart broke, the tears in Marya's voice- a sound she'd heard so few times she could count them on one hand- tearing into her like a knife. She slowly, telegraphing her movement, pulled Marya into a hug. She didn't care that they were out on the deck- the only person she would even consider worrying about had long since given his blessing- and she didn't care that Marya hadn't let her do this nine years ago and she didn't care that her own tears were falling onto Marya's cap.

"You're more of a captain than I'll ever be," she joked, her laugh more of a hiccup. Marya didn't seem to notice, huffing out a laugh the way she always had. "The weather's nice here, isn't it? You always did prefer the cold."

"Yes, well, it is a lot more difficult to overheat in the chill than the heat." Marya stayed in Van's arms, as though it was the only place she was safe. For all Van knew, it might have been the first place she had been safe since the last time they saw each other. Van squeezed her, spinning her in a tight circle. Marya laughed, a real laugh, and Van felt the vice grip on her heart loosen ever so slightly. She wanted to keep Marya safe in her arms forever, however unrealistic it was.

"Van?" Bert called. "Captain? Can I get some extra hands over here?" Van snorted, loosening her grip on Marya only to tug gently on her arm to bring her to where Bert was asking for help. She felt, as she unloaded spices and eggs and utensils into the galley, more vulnerable than she had in years. She had not bore her heart to anyone since Bert, and before then, to Marya the first time. She hadn't even said anything, but she hadn't needed to. Marya could read her like a book- a book with secrets she hopefully would never need to know, but a book nonetheless.

"I… I know it's a little bit because of Comfrey, and because of Zood, but I really wouldn't be here if not for you," Van said softly, sitting around the table with Marya and Bert as the sun set through portholes. Marya tilted the neck of her bottle to Van. "I mean, aside from you coming to get me. I… wouldn't have gotten on the ship if you hadn't asked." Marya's face twisted in some bastardized smile, the face she'd always made when Van had said something that made her sad.

"Do not blame me for this, Van, you have the most free will of anyone I've ever known," Marya said, her sad smile twisting into a proper shit-eating grin. "You have never been known for following orders- better at barking them out, I suppose."

"Is that a challenge I hear, captain?" Van asked, and she could feel Bert tuning back into the conversation with renewed interest as he leaned forward. Van really didn't know what she was getting at, but there was an undercurrent to her words that she hoped to everything that could hear her that Marya would catch it.

"Depends, Vanellope, on if you will listen." Oh, Marya had picked up. Van watched as Marya's eyes flickered to Bert, who nodded. Had they managed to plan something without her? "In that case, shall we take this from the galley?"

"Marya, why don't we slow down a bit?" Bert asked. "You should relax a bit more. Let down your hair." Suddenly, Van felt cool metal behind her ear. It had been years since she'd thought more than a few moments about it- every so often, she'd have to move it up in her hair as it got too long- but the small, gold bead Marya had weaved into her hair blended in so well she forgot about it.

"Yeah, relax, Mar." Van, leading in hopes that Marya would follow, started to unbutton her waistcoat. Marya's hands stopped her, replacing her own. Van startled, inhaling sharply, but withdrew her hands so Marya could continue her delicate, intimate work. Once the waistcoat was discarded, thrown to the chair at the head of the table, Van reached for Marya's cap. She held still, almost reverent- a state Van knew quite well from Marya- and let her tug the hat off. Marya shook out her hair- now cut to her shoulders, the curls that Van knew so well now flat and uncared for- and Van heard the familiar clinking of beads in Marya's hair. "You kept them?" The words were pulled from her mouth as though she were possessed, and she almost regretted saying them- until she saw the pink blush on Marya's cheeks.

"Van, lovey, you didn't get me any beads for our wedding," Bert said, and Van brushed the piece of hair with her own bead from behind her ear. Marya was looking at him, and Van guessed that she was trying to gauge whether or not he was joking. Bert, not drunk but simply happy, leaned over Van's lap to kiss her other cheek. Van giggled, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Marya hesitantly lean forward.

"Come here, Marya," Van murmured. "Relax."

Marya did not want to be back on the ship. Van being there sweetened the deal, certainly, but that did not make it less awkward.

When she had woken up in Van's bed, pleasant memories filling her mind and bright red bites over her torso and thighs, she had not been unhappy. Still, she did not know what to do- she was wedged between Bert and Van, the latter's strong arms wrapped around her waist. Thankfully, Bert had gotten up decently early, though she spent more time than she would have liked happy and cozy in his arms. In Marya's defense, Bert was a very good kisser.

"Marya, angel, are you alright?" Bert's voice was soft as she snapped back to reality. Van snored softly in her ear. She had not noticed herself slip, but Bert certainly had. His hand rested on her waist, still, thumb tracing over her very visible ribs. "Lost you there, for a moment."

"I am alright," she whispered. "I am fine." Bert did not know her well- she had not ended up in the Uplands after he had met Van- but she guessed her tells were obvious, because he began to withdraw his hand. She whined softly, reaching to pull it back to where it belonged. He laughed, leaning in to kiss her again.

Eventually, though, she had to get up and steer. The endorphins of the night before faded, and the pit in her stomach returned every time she looked at Van. The anger that roiled in her stomach screamed at Marya to shout, yell, cry, anything to rid the feeling from her body.

She was left behind, left alone, because of Comfrey. She could hardly stand to be on the ship again, not after her whole crew was taken perhaps somewhere far better than here. She was the sole survivor, the last remaining.

"Junker?" Van said, opening the door of the cockpit. "Would you like something to eat?"

"No, Van. I do not." Marya watched as Van slipped into the cockpit. She gripped her brass arm like a lifeline as she watched Marya with wide eyes. Marya could hardly feel her mouth moving as she spoke. "And I do not want you to bother me if you do not have anything helpful to say."

Marya watched as Van's mouth opened and closed for a second before a smile played on her lips and suddenly there was a burst of water at Marya's face.

"I am sorry, I must repent for my wrongdoing, I must apologize to Ludmilla and to you and to everyone, I must be absolved of-"

"It's alright, Mar. You've been through a lot. Do you need a moment? Or do you want to take me up on the food?"

Marya shook her head, slowly stepping toward Van. She felt as though if Van were to leave her, she would collapse. Van's lips twisted up again, holding out her arms. Marya had not noticed it the day before, but her arm was a cool reprieve against Marya's face as hot tears welled up.

"Hey, darlin', you're okay," Van said, holding Marya's face in her left hand. "I'm here."

"I love you," Marya whispered.

"I love you, too."