Chapter Text
“You want us to do what?”
Mulder looked over at the shocked expression on his partner’s face, an expression he was carefully keeping from being mirrored on his own. He glanced at Skinner, who was apparently very interested in the papers on his desk all of a sudden.
“Because there is not as yet any definitive motive or explanation for the disappearances,” Skinner said lightly, “the case falls under the purview of this department. And since the conventional investigative techniques employed by local law enforcement have proven ineffective, it’s been decided that an undercover approach is the logical next step.”
“But sir--”
“This is the assignment, Agent Scully. You have 24 hours to make arrangements and get on a plane to California. Am I understood?”
“Well, yes sir, but… I’m just surprised that the FBI saw fit to buy an $850,000 house for this operation.”
“They didn’t.” Skinner looked up. “An arrangement was made between the bank and the local DA’s office. We have access to the house for two weeks, with the option to extend the occupation on the condition that it is warranted.” He looked pointedly at Mulder. “So no, the house doesn’t belong to the FBI. Let’s try to bear that in mind, shall we?”
“You hear that, Scully? Dad says no raging parties,” he deadpanned, and he was rewarded with one arched eyebrow.
“Agent Mulder--”
“Don't worry, sir. I'll keep her in check.”
Skinner shook his head. “Right. Agent Scully is the one I'm worried about,” he muttered, then cleared his throat. “You’ll coordinate with the San Diego field office. Any analysis that can't be performed on-site, you can run through them, but the bulk of the crime scene processing will have to be your responsibility, and done in a manner that won’t arouse the suspicion of the neighbors. To that end, you can requisition equipment from the field office as well. Put together a list of what you’ll need and call it in this afternoon.”
“Didn’t the local police already process the scene?” Scully asked, frowning.
“The hope, Agent Scully, is that you will find something they might have missed.” Skinner closed a file folder and handed it across his desk to Mulder. “I need these forms filled out and returned within the hour, in order to pull documents together establishing your cover identities. That’ll be all.”
Mulder stood, meeting Scully’s eyes and finding in them nothing matching his own amusement. This assignment was absurd, and he couldn’t see how it was an X-File, but it was still hilarious, the idea of them posing as a married couple in suburban Southern California. Especially given how often they were mistaken for a couple as it was. How did she not see the humor in that?
He led the way back out into the hall, then slowed enough for her to draw alongside him. “So what do you think? Ozzie and Harriet? Or should we be Ward and June? I think I see you as more of a Harriet than a June, but I don’t know if I can pull off Ozzie...”
“I’m a little more worried about equipment requisition than names right now,” she said, her voice clipped. “I think we should talk to someone in the lab and get their advice about what would be most useful to have.”
“Well, why don’t you go take care of that, and I’ll fill out the paperwork for Skinner. Divide and conquer.”
She nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll coordinate with San Diego, and you handle the stuff related to our cover. Just… nothing too ridiculous, name-wise, all right?”
“You realize you’re talking to a guy named ‘Fox,’ right?”
An indelicate snort erupted from his normally-subdued partner. She shook her head, reaching out to press the elevator call button. Mulder grinned.
They got on the already-crowded elevator when it arrived, squeezing together into one corner. There was, Mulder realized, a bright side to this whole ridiculous assignment. As her partner, it would be weird if he pulled her back against him, or if he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and tucked her snugly into his side. Pretending to be Scully’s husband, however, could afford him all sorts of opportunities to give in to the impulses he ordinarily had to resist. It was perfectly acceptable, for example, for a man to tuck his wife’s hair behind her ears when it fell forward into her face. Or to reach out and take her hand for no reason whatsoever.
Maybe there would even be a situation wherein the only way to salvage their cover was to kiss her. Convincingly.
The elevator doors opened again, and Scully turned to look up at him. “I’ll see you back in the office in an hour or so, all right?”
“You got it, honey.” Her eyes went wide, and he chuckled. “Just practicing. Gotta make sure we’re ready to play the part.”
She rolled her eyes, stepping off the elevator to head down to the lab. Mulder watched her walk away until the doors closed again. Yeah, he had a feeling he wasn’t going to mind this assignment so much, after all.
