Chapter Text
It was the untimely end of the Rave’N dance, the entire student body sat coated in pigsblood. Eugene had only moments ago watched as the hyde’s cave was blown up before a second bright light enveloped him. Not just him but many others; living, dead, and undecided.
“What the actual F!” Enid screamed as they all came to.
“It would appear that we are in a theater.”
“Yeah, but how, Wednesday.”
Wednesday tuned to a group of people that the Jericho residents were unfamiliar with, barring the recognizable Gomez and Morticia Addams. Specifically her firesome glare landed on a tiny old woman who could only properly be described as ratty. She looked like she had been living in a cellar or attic for nearly a hundred years.
“Grandmama?”
“The ancestors, Wednesday. They warned of a great trouble in your future.” Then she locked her eyes onto a rather terrified Tyler, “And of a boy, what a handsome one Wednesday. The blood suits you.”
“...Thanks?” Tyler says. His heart is pounding a bit. It’s one thing to meet your maybe-more-than friends parents, but it's a whole other thing to meet the grandparents (especially when your master just told you that the girl of your dreams is the next mark)
“It's not real.” Wednesday said, her monotone snapping Tyler from his minor panic.
“Nothing you can't fix, my devil-spawn.”
Tyler felt somewhat intrigued, especially at the little smirk that crossed Wednesday’s normally straight face.
“So what exactly do your…ancestors…want?” Enid squeaked. This whole thing was creepy. She tucked herself further into Ajax, who was all too happy to oblige.
“Were going to watch some movies. And television.”
“About what mama?” Morticia asked her mother–in-law.
“About us. Now I was given specific instructions here. We are to start with four movies about our family back when the kids were younger, one just called “The Addams Family”, and the second is called ‘Addams Family Values”, confusingly 2 more called “The Addams Family” and “The Addams Family 2”. After that we are to watch 2 seasons of “Wednesday”, followed by watching 2 seasons of “The Addams Family”, which are supposed to be just home movies of our family back when the kids were in elementary school. Eventually were supposed to go back to watching “Wednesday” once the ancestors have collected the necessary film for it.”
“Thats quite a long time to be stuck here.” Grandmama Frump said.
“Yes, so lets get a move on. Come sit down everyone” Morticia called.
“Hold up dearie, specific seating positions have been arranged. Tyler is to sit with Wednesday. Thing will sit next to her as well.”
Xavier scoffed and Tyler smirked, leading Wednesday to sit next to him.
Grandmama Addams continued “Ajax and Enid are to sit together, Enid must sit by Wednesday.” Enid squealed at that. “Lurch, Morticia, Gomez, Fester, Debbie and Donovan will all sit in the row behind the fresh meat.”
Donovan’s lip curled, not just at sitting by those weird Addams folk, but for his son being called fresh meat by one of the weirdos.
“The row behind them will be for Xavier, Bianca, Divina, Kent, Yoko, and Lucas. In the row behind them Weems and Capri will sit together, and on opposite ends of them will be Grandmama Frump and I. The farthest row is for Itt, Margaret, What, When, Why, Where, and Who. If Margeret gives birth to How during this, there's an extra seat ready for it.”
“Grandmama?” Pugsley asked.
“Oh, I almost forgot, they said for Pugsley, Pubert, Agnes, and Eugene to sit on the carpet in front of Wednesday. As for the menagerie of Pets, they are to sit off to the side.."
“Who are all of these people, Wednesday?” Enid and Tyler asked in unison.
“You know my parents and Pugsley, those are obviously my grandmamas, in the back is my cousin Itt and his normie wife Margerette, along with their children; what, who, when, where, why. How is ready to burst. Lurch is our butler. The bald lunatic is Uncle Fester.” Donavan leaned away from the man next to him. “The blonde normie is his equally psychotic wife, Aunt Debbie.”
“Is she psychotic because of the clothes?” Tyler asked, looking at the pastels the woman wore. Very out of place for an Addams.
“Well yes,” Enid looked offended, “but also because she's murdered all her ex husbands.”
Donovan scoffed, "It's always you Addams. Tyler, I don't care where you're sitting, keep as much distance from that girl as you can. She’s rotten and you're gonna get hurt.”
Tyler couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the irony. After all, barely an hour ago Thornhill had instructed him to protect Wednesday until it was time to harvest her. Unfortunately, he was the one who would hurt her. He looked over at her by his side. She looked beautiful covered in blood, at the very least.
Wednesday carried on, “And the toddler is my youngest brother, Pubert Addams. Then the lion is our family pet, Kitty Kat. Isolde and Tristan are our piranhas. The buzzard is Mr. B. Ali and Snappy are our family Alligators. Butcher is Pugsley’s mutated dog. Zelda is mother’s vulture and Muerto is Uncle Festers. The blue octopus is Ocho, he's a family pet as well, but the rest are mine. The red octopus is Socrates, and the other one is Aristotle. Homer is my spider. Nero is my scorpion. And Lucifer is my lizard.”
“Jesus.” Donovan said, looking at all the outrageous animals. The Addams family was certainly rich, and he would bet that none of it was acquired through honest means.
Bianca and Xavier both rolled their eyes. Bianca couldn’t even begin to imagine that kind of wealth, no she had to make it on her own these past years. Xavier could help it, she had called him an elitist snob but look at how much her family’s wealth can support and still match his own in status. If his own father tried to support three children, an assortment of expensive pets, as well as the external family then they would perhaps be middle class.
Tyler felt conflicted. On one hand, it was on par for Wednesday, of course she’d have weird pets. He loved her kooky and spooky and gloom. He smiled down at her, wanting to peck her plump lips. On the other hand, wasn't this just what he was fighting against. These outcast’s got it all. They were rich snobs. They turned his mother away, they're the reason she’s dead. That's what Laurel had told him. The corners of his lips strained to go down, but he needed to uphold that loving smile for just a second more, even as it was quickly turning fake.
Before anyone could stew further the screen turned on.