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A small squeak sounded, followed by another squeak a second later as the front door was promptly closed. Toriel’s feet brushed against the soft, beige carpet as she rested her back against the door. Her steady breaths were the only sound inhabiting the empty house less a lone thought.
Is…. Is the TV gone?
She made a mental note to ask Kris about it later; emphasis on the later part. There wasn’t time for that now as many more thoughts came, surging like a pulse.
Pushing her body from the door, Toriel straightened her back with some assistance from her hands. That was enough of a break for a short breather; She had work to do. She moved her way upstairs to get the practice supplies.
Church had gone well and the choir performed marvelously, however, she knew they still had a lot of work to do if they were to be ready to perform next Christmas. Still, she was happy to see Kris had managed to stay awake this time around (at least for the performance) and that Susie seemed rather captivated with the singers. Maybe next time she wouldn’t have to ask either and they’d act on their own to attend.
Toriel giggled at the thought.
After exiting her room, her head perked up when she saw movement in the corner of her eye. Turning to her left, she opened her mouth to greet Kris, but slowly closed it when she realized it was just her mirror. Her lips returned as she just stood there for a second before continuing down the hallway.
Putting the box of musical equipment, ranging from bells to whistles to metronomes to tuning forks, on the kitchen table, she glanced at the clock before moving to the cabinets.
Where are they?
“Huh?” Toriel reached her hands further in the cabinet, aimlessly tapping the empty space. Moving to the next cabinet and then the next, she shifted aside half used baking ingredients, spices, wine, Tupperware, platters, and BBQ utensils to no avail. Closing the last cabinet with a loud clack, she narrowed her eyes.
Kris.
Well, this certainly wasn’t good, but definitely better than that time Kris stored some moss “for later” in the deep cabinet; Toriel still remembered the amount of cleaning she needed to do that morning. She would need to break out the ol’ cabinet locks again. Though, this wasn’t the time to remanence about the past or plan for the future, she needed to do a quick resupply run of snacks. There were still people relying on her.
She didn’t have time to replace her car’s tires, nor did Miss Undyne ever arrive, so she would need to rush to the store then back home to get the equipment then rush to church to arrive on time for choir practice. It wouldn’t be easy, but she knew she could do it, therefore, she had to.
Toriel walked at a brisk pace, moving to the door. A small squeak sounded while a small shock escaped her lips. In front of her, stood a short smiling skeleton.
“Sans. My, what brings you to this part of town.” She hadn’t realized the suddenly cheerful tone that had overtaken her voice.
“Sup, Miss D? Just in the neighborhood: Promoting.”
“Promoting what?”
“A promotion.” Sans winked.
“Oh my.” Toriel rolled her eyes playfully. “Sounds pro-mising. I have been pro-motions ever since I started reading my court drama book.”
“Perfect. Then let this pro have a mote of your time.”
“I will oblige.” Toriel answered understanding she had exhausted her known possible combinations of the word ‘promotion’.
“Well, I talked to some kids earlier today and after a lot of walking back and forth, they convinced me to change my sign. So, now I’m having a clopen special.”
“Clopen?” Toriel tilted her head. “What might that be?”
“It means everything is half off; That is, half the cost for half the product. The eggs, the candy canes, the snow puffs, the catnip, and the pickles.”
“Aren’t the pickles free?”
“They’re only half free now I’m afraid.”
“Well, that sounds like an ideal deal.”
And right on time to add to that.
“Yeah, but also store operating times are cut in half, so the shop is ‘opesing’ soon, so you better act fast.”
Just then, a rumbling sound boomed overhead, vibrating the walls of the house and causing the door to squeak quietly in response. Looking up, both could see grey clouds forming ahead.
“Oh. Oh dear.” Toriel held her cheek, almost digging her nails in as the realization set in. “I… what time is it? I still have recital practice. The supplies… I need to get something to cover the equipment. Oh… I.” Another realization set in as she looked down and remembered the guest she was just chatting, laughing, and wasting time with only a second ago.
“Seems the weather’s shaping up for a bad time.” Sans turned toward the town. “I imagine people are changing their plans as we speak: ‘Cause, you know, they don’t want to get caught up in the tea that the storm’s brewing.”
“Heh, heh.” Toriel cleared her throat, trying to suppress her chuckling. “Really? It looks that bad?”
“Maybe. But sometimes looks can be deceiving: Some things look good when it’s bad or look bad when it’s good. Though, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert on these things, just something I feel in my bones.”
“Would you say your bones are usually right?” Toriel was genuinely curious.
“About weather? Eh, I wouldn’t give 100% credence to them, but my little bro does for his; That’s why he has me wear a jacket everywhere I go: ‘Just in case.’ Though, I wouldn’t say you should always act only in ways others want you too; You have to trust your own bones as well.”
As he spoke, the smile on his face didn’t wane. Toriel took in his words, pondering as a weight started forming on her head, getting heavier with each tick of the clock. She made a humming sound as her feet instinctually started an unnoticeable little jig.
Trust your bones?
“I suppose, I would agree. The weather is looking rather off…” Toriel’s lips curved. “Well, I guess it’s best not to have the kids go out in this weather. I’ll call their parents to tell them choir practice needs to make a rain check.”
Toriel tried to hide it, but she was actually glad she had this as an excuse. The last few days had felt rather weird. Not bad, but like there was something in the air; However, it could just be her imagination.
“Glad to hear it, Miss D. I’m also gonna take a rain check and get home before the storm gets worse.”
“Worse? But it hasn’t even—”
A loud crack of thunder interrupted as it erupted, making Toriel jolt. Shortly after, light drops of rain started painting the pavement with gray spots.
“Ah, rains here faster than I expected. Time must be half off as well.” He said with a wink as he turned away. “Well, be seeing you around.”
“Hold on.” Toriel was letting her bones speak for her.
“Hm?”
“Why… Why don’t you come inside for a moment?” She could hear blood pumping through her ears as the light tapping of her feet transferred to her chest. “I can’t let you go back to town in the rain. You’re welcome to stay until it lets up.”
Sans turned back toward her. She could feel his eyes studying her as she tried to keep her composure; Kris and Asriel would often tease her about it, but she hoped none of her subconscious habits betrayed her.
“Heh, looks like I’m gonna have to turn in my rain check for a rain receipt.”
At this lame joke, the bit of tension broke and Toriel let out a bawwing laugh as she tried to cover her mouth.
“Yes, my own little promotion: Turn in one rain receipt for one stay at home voucher.” The door squeaked in delight as it welcomed a new face inside. “Take a seat while I call the choir to let them know about practice.”
***
“I understand. I’ll be sure to give an earlier notice next time.” Toriel finally felt like it was coming to an end. “Thank you… you too, Carol.”
With that, the phone made a satisfying clink as she put it back on its receiver. The soft pitter-patter of rain could be heard tapping the windows; There was a sense of calm she took from it. Turning to her guest at the dinner table, Toriel made sure her smile was on.
“That should be the last of that.” Toriel said. “Again, are you sure you don’t want anything else to go with your drink?”
“Nope, this is plenty good.” Sans took another swig of the ketchup bottle. Toriel saw it was nearly half empty.
“I suppose this works out fine since I’m a bit low on other snacks. Let me know if you would like more as I do have a fresh bottle in the cabinet.” Toriel took a seat across from him.
“Thanks-a-ton. Heh, I have to say, I’m surprised you’re not more surprised at my drink of choice.”
“Well, I’m no stranger to odd eating habits.” Toriel giggled as a memory popped in her head. “Not too long ago, we got banned from the diner for a month after Kris tried cracking open the jukebox to drink the ‘colorful water’ inside.”
“Really? I didn’t know the diner has a jukebox.”
“Well, it doesn’t anymore.”
At this both Toriel and Sans laughed.
“Well, I can’t fault the kid, that diner’s rules are unclear. The other day, they tried to throw me out after I drank all the free ketchup they had laying around. It became this whole thing; they even called that police woman on me. Luckly for me, because I’m a skeleton, they couldn’t get rid of me.”
“Oh, that sounds serious. But, why couldn’t they kick you out?”
“Well, because each time they tried, there was no body to kick out.”
Toriel’s signature piercing gaze fixed on Sans for a solid two seconds before the veil instantly fell and she burst into a fit of laughter. Sans couldn’t help but snicker at his own joke as Toriel covered her mouth, wetting her hand as she failed to muffle her voice.
“Oh dear. I did not expect that. You certainly are quick on your bones.”
“Eh, sometimes. I’m actually not quick, it’s just the personality I adopted for someone.”
“Oh, is there somebody in your life you got this funny personality for?” Toriel said with a teasing grin, yet studying eyes.
“Yes, but also no considering they don’t have a body. My little bro likes me like this, even when he pretends to be annoyed, but I didn’t get this personality for him. No, this is for myself.”
“Is that so? But, if it’s for yourself, wouldn’t that just be who you are?” Toriel shifted in her seat a little. The sound of rain started getting harder.
“Not necessarily.” San’s voice trailed as he scratched his chin before he drank the last of his ketchup.
“Oh, you’re all out. Let me get you a refill.” Toriel’s chair scratched the floor as she quickly got up and moved to the cabinets. She was looking out the window pretending to hope the rain was letting up when in reality, she was looking out the window hoping the rain wasn’t.
“Oh, I don’t want to put you out of business.” Sans waved. “I imagine you want some left for the festival coming up.”
“Well, that’s not a very wise business choice. If you don’t drink all my ketchup, then it might be a bit longer before I visit you—your store.” Toriel’s throat constricted with those last words.
Looking in the cabinet, she found what she was searching for and also spotted an opportunity to do some light inventory cleaning. At first, she was hesitant, but she pushed those feelings down and let the beating in her chest drown out the doubt. After all, it had been so long since there were guests over.
“Heh, maybe that’s why I’m going through your drinks so fast.” Sans chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure a promotion for ketchup will come soon, though I think my janitor is sneaking out some each time we get a shipment.”
Toriel, grabbing both bottles, steadily, yet somewhat stiff, walked back to the table and put them down, making as little noise as possible.
“Drinks for two?” Sans smiled, “Nice.”
“Well, I just assumed… supposed that you shouldn’t be the only one with something to sip.” Toriel was finding the right words difficult to grasp; However, she was able to find the strength to continue without wavering. “Do you also want a glass?”
“Sure thing. Does it come with the wine, or is this also a half off promotion?”
“No promotion this time, but this is a special I’m giving out… uh, let me get those glasses and an opener.” Toriel blushed and quickly went back to the cabinets.
Please just act the way you should.
Toriel came back with the glasses and opened the bottle. After carefully pouring a moderate, yet dignified amount in each glass, the two raised their drinks in the air.
“A toast.” Sans said.
“What should we toast to?”
“Hmm, how about to sunny days; Without them, you don’t get to enjoy the rainy ones.”
“Oh my.” Toriel chuckled. “I think you mean it the other way around.”
“I don’t think so. ‘Cause it’s raining and, without it, I wouldn’t be hanging out here with you. I’m grateful for the Sun because of the rain and also you.”
“My,” At this Toriel couldn’t help but blush. “Wouldn’t that make it three things to toast to then?”
“I guess there’s a lot to be thankful for then, wouldn’t you agree?”
Toriel swayed like a grandfather clock for a few seconds before meeting his gaze with a smile and a simple response.
“I guess that makes me thankful for the Sun as well.”
The two toasted to rainy days and sunny ones alike and took a sip as the roaring thunder crashed outside.
“Oh, Sans! Sans.” Toriel waved excitedly. “I just got one ready.”
“Loaded? Then shoot.”
“Okay. What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?”
“Hmm, I don’t know.”
“Odor in the court!”
Both broke into another fit of laughter, almost howling with the vehement wind outside. Toriel’s cheeks were already so visibly flushed, contrasting so much with her snow-white fur; She almost covered them, but instead used her free hand to repeatably slap the table.
“That was a good one, Miss D.”
“Thank you, Mr. S.”
Their laughter slowly died away to silence as the two decided to take another sip of their respective drinks. The lull gave Toriel the opportunity to think carefully about her next words. She wet her lips, letting the drum in her chest air out its dissent until she opened her mouth.
“Sans,” Toriel laid her hands flat, symmetrical, against the table. “While we’re here, I wanted to follow up on what you were saying.”
“Hmm, what was that? I often run my mouth about a lot of things.”
“About your personality and adopting it. You said you weren’t yourself— no wait… you said the personality you had wasn’t yours, but not because of anyone else. What… what did you mean by that?”
She cursed herself. She’d been told before she was a lightweight, but this was ridiculous. It would’ve been better if she didn’t get so cocky breaking out the good stuff.
“Ah yeah.” Sans looked away for a second, swishing the liquor in his glass, letting it breathe. “Yeah, you got that about right, though I may not be the best to explain it.”
“I don’t see anyone better around… so, I guess that makes you the best to explain.” Toriel clasped her hands together, holding them back from moving any further. “Please.”
What was she doing?! Had the wine kicked in that fast? Mentoring or teaching others was one thing, but prying something personal like this out of someone? This would only end in—
“Heh, can’t argue with that logic.” Sans said.
He seemed like he was about to explain, but then turned to his left, facing the wall, seemingly looking at something.
Toriel sat, mentally fidgeting, with anticipation.
“Sans?”
“Have you ever laughed when you wanted to cry?” Sans asked.
“What?”
“Or ever smile when you wanted to scream?”
This certainly wasn’t what Toriel expected. For the moment, she couldn’t answer.
“You don’t have to answer at the moment. Just wanted to gauge your reaction.”
“Is there a reason for this?” She crossed her arms.
“Yes, the same reason we do what our body or mind does on its own: for others.”
Toriel tilted her head at this, she wasn’t exactly following, yet she still hung on his words.
“For the longest time, I smiled so others wouldn’t feel sad or laughed so they wouldn’t cry. And while those that were around weren’t bad in any respect, for some reason, it felt like they had unspoken requests: demands that were as common as air. And while they would never explicitly say it, if I didn’t meet those demands, I would be forced to laugh again.”
“I...I’m sorry to hear that.” Toriel said. She wanted to do more than just say something, but her breaths were demanding the full attention of the nerves in her body. What he just said shocked the hair on the back of her neck.
“Don’t be sorry, it was nothing you did. Again, it was nothing anybody did. That’s what I realized one night while I was in my kitchen. I was alone, drinking my bottle of ketchup when I caught a reflection of something in the window. At first, I thought it was my little bro and was, for some reason, outside when I had just tucked him in only ten minutes earlier; I thought so, but it wasn’t.”
Sans swished his glass, seemingly interested in the waves it created. Toriel studied his movements as though he was a book whose pages didn’t turn at her command.
“What was outside?” Toriel couldn’t help herself from leaning forward.
Sans lowered his glass with a small clink, then met Toriel’s gaze.
“It was me.” Sans said. “And I remember something hurting in my chest, when… when I realized I couldn’t have been more disappointed at seeing myself.”
The thunder outside was in full force as flashes of light illuminated the outside.
“Yeah, embarrassed to say, but I made a mess that night: Glass, red stains, and enough tears to fill a mop bucket. I don’t even know when it happened, but in the middle of it, my little bro saw me.”
“Oh dear.” Toriel put her hand to her mouth. She didn’t know what his brother looked like, but she didn’t need to. She had seen the look before, and a wave of archived guilt overtook her.
At this point, Toriel had thrown out trying to control her breathing and posture all together. She was hanging by a thread, desperately trying to keep her tears in. She remembered her own reflection, not just from today, but also from the day before and the day before that. She was supposed to be listening to his story, but somehow, he had told hers.
“Yeah. I’m sure he was worried, scared even, but he didn’t act like it. He just took out a record, put it on the player, and pulled up a seat near me.” Sans chuckled. “Not what I would’ve done, but I eventually found myself sitting next to him as he sat with me. And that night, I cried. Not because someone else needed me to or because I had to, but for myself. It was the first thing I did for myself in a long time.”
Toriel realized her hand was shaking and her glass, now half full, was in her hand.
“Is that why you moved here, to this town?”
“Heh, I guess lying and saying this happened years ago is out of the question now, huh?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I mean asking about something so personal I understand… I mean maybe we’re different, but not too different but… and maybe I’ve drank too much and…and.”
Toriel continued to ramble, waiting for Sans to cut her off and tell the same lies of formality she heard day in and day out, but it never came: he just listened until her voice lowered on its own.
“It’s no trouble at all, Miss D. You asked me about myself because you wanted to and I told you because I wanted to. It actually made me happy to talk about; It reminds me of what’s important. You shouldn’t have to apologize for being yourself.”
The drumming in her ears returned and the beating in her chest was more prevalent than ever. If Toriel was thinking straight, she would’ve been worried about what she must’ve looked like, but at the moment, that fear felt so very far away.
The peaceful pattering of the diminishing rain tapping the windows sounded like a song that only she could hear. She let out a small gasp, when she felt a cold hand take hers.
“It’s okay.” Sans said, giving a smile that could shield from the dreariest of skies, “It’s just us, you don’t need to be ashamed.”
The wall that Toriel had maintained for years was crumbling. The wall that she built to protect her community, her family, was also the same one that kept her trapped. But now, the floodgates had opened and it all came crumbling down; And she was glad.
Toriel couldn’t remember how long she cried. She couldn’t remember how many glasses she drank. She couldn’t remember what she said about the ones who relied on her, who hated her, who she loved, or who she hated. She couldn’t remember what she was shouting about or why she got mad at Sans, but she didn’t care.
Despite the fog of the past clouding details, she didn’t forget everything. She remembered laughing. She remembered her heart racing when her dirty joke made Sans laugh. She remembered the excitement she felt when Sans took out her Ol’ Jitterbug record. She remembered soaring through the air as they grooved to the funky tunes. She remembered the floor suspending, impossible bliss, she felt as Sans rubbed her head as she fell asleep on the couch. But most importantly, she remembered feeling happy along with something she hadn’t felt in a long time: Free.