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Mark had to get away.
He didn't know where the hell he was even going, but he didn't really care. He knew he just needed to get away.
He would run as fast as his legs would allow, until he collapsed somewhere far away from his house that was no longer home. Anything just to get as far from that place as possible.
He wanted to scream. He knew that wouldn't help anything, but he just wanted to get rid of the burning sensation in the back of his throat. There was no legitimate reason why his throat should even burn--Mark hadn't been drinking alcohol, his voice was fine, he wasn't thirsty, his breathing wasn't even beginning to feel heavy... he should be fine right now, but for some reason, his throat felt like it was on fire.
The tears in his eyes were distracting and stung. He couldn't keep running with tears in his eyes like this. How the hell was he supposed to see with his vision blurred like this?
He stopped running to wipe away the tears in his eyes. He then stood in the middle of the gravel road, checking his glasses in the light of the sun to see if they were smudged badly. They were, so he used the hem of his shirt to wipe them off to the best they could be given the circumstances and began running again.
His breaths were starting to get heavier, but he needed to persevere through this. He couldn't stop now. He needed to find a place. Somewhere. ANYwhere.
He was so tired. The running had caught up with him, and now he was starting to succumb to fatigue. Mark had been training with weights and various other things in the gym since the beginning of freshman year three years ago, but he had never really been a runner, no matter how hard he tried training for it. It had just never been part of his nature.
Now he was really wishing that he had worked harder on trying to maintain stamina.
Whatever. He had to focus. He had to make sure that he at least found a place to stay for a while until he calmed down--or until he could regain stamina to be able to run more.
At least he had thought to bring some of his favorite things with him, he thought. Without them, this whole "running away" thing would have sucked.
He felt himself progressively getting slower with every passing second. He was never going to make it doing this.
Mark let out a groan and looked around the area for a small place to go off the road from. The only place he really saw was a tiny tunnel-like hole on the other side. He shrugged. It would have to work for now. He began walking slowly down to the tunnel and he entered it, thinking nothing of it. He knew that nobody would possibly be in there.
But, like every other time in Mark's life, he was wrong.
Mark began walking and tripped on something on the ground, falling down hard. He reached out his arms to try and break his fall, and in the process scraped up his palms pretty badly. His glasses also fell off, but he was able to locate them relatively quickly, as there was actually a pretty steady stream of light into the tunnel.
"Who the fuck are you?" asked a voice. A guy, with a thick Irish accent. Nobody Mark had ever heard before, or at least that he could recall.
Mark got up and looked around the tunnel (more like a cave, really) for the source of the voice. When he met the bright blue eyes of another boy, he felt his heart begin pounding against his chest. Mostly due to the shock of seeing the other person, but a small part of him was intrigued by the boy.
He then quickly averted his gaze, looking down at his clothes, which were now covered in dust and dirt. He wiped off some of the dirt from his shirt and pants, as he asked, "Who the fuck are YOU?"
The other boy replied, "My name is Sean. Most people call me Jack, though. Now, who the fuck are you?"
Mark looked back at the smaller guy, who was grimacing slightly. He could feel sweat beginning to form on his forehead. "Uh, my name's Mark. Mark Fischbach." He outstretched a hand towards Jack, trying to shake hands. Jack didn't return the favor, instead returning to the book that Mark had just noticed he had been holding.
Getting the hint, Mark returned his hand to his side awkwardly.
Jack didn't look up from his book as he said, "I didn't shake hands with you because your hands are all bloody, not because I hate you and don't want to ever talk to you. You just scared the shit out of me."
"Ah, I see. So you're not completely antisocial," Mark replied, coolly.
"Clearly, as you can see from the way I isolate myself from everyone else by reading Shakespeare in a cave," Jack retorted, making no change of tone in his voice as he made the obviously sarcastic comment. His eyes still didn't stray from the pages of the book.
Mark wondered how Jack could possibly be that interested in William Shakespeare. While yes, he didn't hate Romeo and Juliet (although he thought it was pretty dumb that those two kids killed themselves for one another within not even a week of being together) and he actually was quite fond of Julius Caesar (Brutus in particular was his favorite character, being the tragic hero), he couldn't stand to read a book full of "methinks", "doth", and "do you bite your thumb at me, sir?" for more than an hour.
And here was Jack, putting up with that shit while in a cave, without proper eyewear, dealing with some random kid that had stumbled into the tunnel and tripped over his foot.
"Wow, you must really like Shakespeare then..."
Jack nodded, finally looking up at Mark again.
He could really get lost in those blue eyes. It was insane that he was already so enamored by a single person, but he really did see something in the small, Irish nerd sitting in front of him. What drew Mark to him, he couldn't possibly identify it. All he knew was that Jack was like a magnet to him.
"I do. He's not my favorite author, though. I actually really like Mary Shelley. You ever heard of her?" Jack asked him, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie and finding a bookmark before shutting the book.
Mark did recognize the name from school. "Yeah, wasn't she the woman who wrote Frankenstein?" he asked, unsure of himself.
Jack nodded. "She was! She practically pioneered horror stories, and she also pioneered post-apocalyptic fiction. She was revolutionary for her time, wasn't she? A woman writing in a primarily male-dominated world. An authorial pioneer..." He trailed off as he kept gushing over how amazing she was for the era she lived in. His voice got breathier and lighter, and Mark felt himself getting a bit giddy.
What feeling was this? Was this a crush? Was this the fatigue getting to him?
Whatever it was, Mark actually kind of liked it.
He walked over to the wall where Jack was sitting, and slid down the wall until he was sitting next to him.
"Do you go to school here?" asked Mark, hoping that Jack would say yes, so they could meet next year when he was a senior. It wasn't a long time, but for a year, they could become friends.
Jack shook his head. "No, my parents drive me to the bigger school over in the city."
Mark felt dejected for some reason. He wouldn't be able to see those eyes in the hallway, or see that weird hat he was wearing. "That sucks. I was hoping we could go to school together. I'm going to graduate next year. What grade are you in?"
"I'm an upcoming junior. So I'm a year younger than you are. Interesting..." Jack's voice trailed off again, this time deep in thought instead of rambling.
For a short while, there was no sound in the small cave, until Mark asked quietly, "Why are you here?"
Jack stopped pondering whatever it was he had been pondering and looked back at Mark, his eyes suddenly frantic. "Uh, I just like to be in a quiet place so I can pay attention to my book. I don't really have many friends either to talk to, so that's why I'm reading anyway." Jack paused, and then hurriedly added, "It's not that I don't like reading or anything, I just would rather be talking to people than reading all about Mercutio and Tybalt."
And Mark understood that. Jack didn't have anyone to talk to him to make him feel less lonely. Mark felt lonely even when people he trusted were talking right to his face.
Maybe they were more alike than Mark had initially thought.
"I understand that feeling entirely," Mark replied, looking down at his feet. "I feel lonely during the summer too, even when I'm hanging out with friends. I just..." He paused, unsure of how to describe what he was trying to convey to Jack. "I've never really felt like I belonged in a group of people. No matter how close I am to those people. I... I would rather be talking over the phone or just face to face with one person instead of five. I've always felt more comfortable typing on a keyboard or just sitting alone at home than I have at a party or a school dance."
Jack nodded along with almost every point Mark made. It felt good to vent his frustrations to someone, even if he didn't even know Jack very well. At least he knew that Jack was listening to him.
He even told him why he had ran to the cave in the first place.
Mark had been at home with his brother and his new girlfriend. He had been visiting for the Fourth of July weekend, and he had brought her along. They had been together for about two months, supposedly. His mom was in a good mood, so Mark figured that if he told her then, she would be less likely to be mad at him.
Tom already knew. He had confided in him before he had first left for college. Tom had been very accepting, and Mark was grateful for that.
But his mom, on the other hand...
When he told her, she was upset, to say the least.
He had to get away. He didn't feel welcome in his own house anymore. Tom had told him to go out while he tried to calm her down, but from the looks of her, Tom would be having a pretty hard time doing that. Mark had just wanted nothing more than to be comfortable in his own home, not to feel alienated and like he was any less of a human being just because he was romantically attracted to guys.
Mark felt tears welling up in his eyes as he explained everything to Jack, and he tried his best to fight them away. He didn't want Jack to see him crying.
Instead, Jack put an arm on his shoulder and looked at him.
"It's alright to cry" was all that he said, but it meant the world to Mark. That one simple sentence basically told Mark "I accept you" and "I trust you".
That was all Mark had ever wanted, and he was getting more acceptance from a total stranger than he had gotten from his own mother.
He let go of the tears and just cried. He leaned against Jack's shoulder as he did, and by the end of it all, Jack's head was resting on top of his.
This, although it was one of the weirdest meetings Mark had ever been a part of, felt right.
Every day after that, Mark found himself bringing a book from Tom's old bookshelf to the cave. More often than not, Jack would be there before him, scouring the words of a page in another thick book--a different one each day, that was how much he read at a time--and waiting for Mark to come with his book recommendation in tow.
Sometimes Mark would find himself reading to Jack, because Jack said that he found his voice soothing. Jack would occasionally fall asleep, and by then, Mark would try not to wake him up, and he would keep reading until he got to a place to stop, and then he would wake him so they both could go home.
He really cherished being there with Jack, reading and talking about their lives, and learning more about one another. He learned so much about him each day.
His birthday was February 7th. He was very energetic and had a passion for video games. He liked to call himself a "boss", much to the amusement of Mark. He had two brothers and two sisters, and he was the youngest child in the family. His parents and he had moved to America from Ireland when he was very young.
Mark was having a great time becoming friends with Jack.
But he noticed something strange.
As the first week of their friendship ended, and thus began the second, Mark had noticed that Jack was beginning to distance himself from Mark. He began showing up to the cave even later than Mark usually did. He would sit farther away from him and lie on the ground instead of on Mark's shoulder whenever he fell asleep. He even stopped bringing books to give Mark as recommendations.
His behavior was far from the norm Mark had gotten accustomed to over the past week.
Meanwhile, with Mark, Tom had finally gotten his mother calmed down and Mark was allowed to come back home. He and his girlfriend had left two days after that, but both of them gave Mark a big hug before they left, and Tom's girlfriend even told him that he was the "bravest kid she had ever met" and how she admired him "for being so strong and telling the truth". Mark smiled and thanked her, and over her shoulder, he gave a thumbs up to Tom, indicating that he had gotten a good girl and that he should keep her.
Tom simply gave a thumbs up back in response.
Their mom, while still not totally okay with the idea that her son was gay, did calm down and apologized for lashing out the way she did. The two hugged it out and his mom told him that she loved him, no matter what.
Mark nodded and told her that he loved her too, and then they vowed to never mention it again, at least until Mark got into a serious relationship and wanted to bring a boy home to meet her.
Mark had stopped trying to deny his growing crush on Jack. He had learned to accept the fact that whatever the hell was drawing him to him was doing a good job at it. He found himself dreaming of kissing Jack and holding his hand and reading books with him aloud and holding him whenever he felt sad or angry or confused.
He imagined that Jack's lips tasted like cinnamon.
Mark was never one for the sappy, romantic, cheesy stuff, but he honestly felt like there was something about Jack that made him WANT to be sappy and romantic and cheesy. There was something way more than just his eyes.
Suddenly, he didn't feel so alone in the world. When he looked at his side and saw those big, bright, beautiful eyes, he felt like he was finally living life the way he was meant to be. He felt like he was part of a bigger picture, like he was actually a useful person in the universe. He felt like he was on top of the world, and he could accomplish anything he set his mind to. He felt like with Jack, his mom would finally start to actually accept him for who he was.
He knew that his mom would really like Jack. Jack was a polite, courteous, and very charming guy. She would definitely be okay with Jack and Mark being together. She would approve without a single doubt in her mind.
"Hey, Jack, what's going on?" asked Mark, who was staring blankly at the amount of space between them both. He wanted nothing more than to reach his hand out and feel Jack's shirt or his hand or his face and his patchy scruff or ANYTHING just to know that Jack was there beside him. He was starting to feel that familiar loneliness creeping up on him, and he hated it. He had put it off for so damn long that he had almost forgotten about it, but here it was, wreaking havoc on him again, reminding him that there was still a sense of loneliness that came with him wherever he went. It was never truly gone, just subdued by the fact that he was with Jack.
A brief moment of silence hit the tunnel, except for the ringing in Mark's ears, until Jack replied, "Why do you still talk to me?"
The question was surprising, to say the least. Why HAD he stuck around with Jack after the first time they met? Sure, there was the whole attraction thing, but he had never really figured out why he had come back.
"I never got your number," Mark replied, trying to come up with the smoothest answer and deciding firmly on that one. He waggled his eyebrows in Jack's direction, trying to perform the worst possible smolder he could manage.
Jack laughed and swatted at the air between them, as if to try and stop Mark from making the face any longer. Soon, both of them were laughing loudly. Mark ended up hunching over and lying facing Jack, who was also hunched over from holding his stomach. The two eventually stopped laughing and were looking at each other.
Another silent moment fell upon them, this one much longer than the first, as they both looked at one another, Mark trying his best not to reach out and touch Jack's face. Fuck. This was harder than he thought. It took a lot of strength for Mark to not just blurt out that he had a crush on him, or to just grab him and kiss him.
"But seriously, Mark, why did you keep coming back to talk to me? You seem to have a lot of friends, and there are so many more people out there that are more interesting than I am... why me?"
"You make me forget all about being lonely," Mark blurted out, unsure of what else to say. He was telling the truth, he just feared that in doing so, he was going to alienate his only true source of happiness.
Jack didn't speak, he just froze, wide-eyed and mouth agape.
"Let me explain... I told you when we first met how I felt lonely no matter what I was doing, be it talking to friends or just sitting alone in my room. I never felt like I fit in with anyone, and that I was never meant to be happy and feel like people were listening to me and cared. Do you remember me telling you that?" Mark asked Jack.
Jack nodded.
"Well... talking to you and being here has made me forget that feeling almost entirely. I want nothing more than to just be happy and be cared about, and when I'm here talking to you, I feel like that. It's a really insane feeling to try and describe, but honestly, I've never really felt like anybody cared about me before, until I met you."
There was no noise from either of the two, just the occasional sounds of breathing. Mark was feeling the nervousness of Jack's possible answers. Would the two still be friends after this? Would Jack never want anything to do with him ever again? Would Jack mistake it as a romantic advance on him? Sure, Mark wanted to tell Jack about his crush, eventually, but not right now.
Jack let out a sigh and said, "Mark, I don't want you to develop a dependence on me. I'm not always gonna be here, you know. I have things that I need to do sometimes. I'm working out some things of my own, and I'm dealing with different demons. You have your problems to face, and so do I. Why else do you think I hide inside of a cave and read to myself during the summer?" He looked up at the ceiling of the cave, which prompted Mark to do the same.
"Why DO you hide in a cave and read to yourself, Jack?" he asked.
Almost immediately, Jack answered him. "Why do you want to know?"
"I told you everything about me, why shouldn't I at least get to know what you're dealing with? You wanted to know what I was going through, the least you could do is let me try to help you out the way you did with me. Please, Jack, you're my friend. I want to at least listen to you."
Mark felt so conflicted.
It turned out that Jack himself was also struggling with his identity. Jack had confided in Mark that he had been questioning his sexuality, and that he was beginning to strongly identify as a bisexual.
He was trying to hide it from his parents, because he wasn't entirely sure how they would react to such news. He was also trying to hide it from his brothers and sisters. His family had never really talked about their views on homosexuality and same sex couples, and Jack figured that it was best to keep it that way instead of finding out how they felt when it was too late.
So he decided that instead of risking himself blurting out something and ruining his relationship with his family members, he would spend his time away from them, to avoid saying something.
"I didn't want to lose them. I felt like if they found out, they might either be okay with it or they would disown me. I didn't want to risk the latter." Jack's breaths were heavy, and Mark felt like crying FOR him, instead of having to see those big, bright blue eyes full to the brim with tears.
Mark outstretched a hand in Jack's direction, palm facing upwards, and he looked over at him. "Don't worry, Jack. If all goes wrong, you've still got me to talk to. I'm here for you."
Jack smirked for a split second and said, "Yeah, I know. You don't have to be so fucking cheesy about it, Mark."
The two laughed a little, Mark not even noticing that Jack had grabbed his hand and was now holding it until after the laughter had subsided. A small blush formed on his face as he looked at their fingers intertwined. Looking back up at Jack, however, Jack was simply grinning like he knew a secret that Mark didn't, and it was somewhat comforting to him.
Maybe there was more to this than Mark had initially realized.
Jack's arrival times would get later and later after that. By the time August had come, Jack had stopped visiting the cave altogether. Mark would just stay there and read to himself, reminiscing about the blue eyes that once followed the words as he spoke them.
He should have guessed by then that Jack had found another person.
By Mark's last day of summer vacation, Jack finally showed up again, this time, surprisingly, not too much after Mark did.
"Why did you spend your summer not talking to anybody?" asked Jack, who was staring down at him. Mark could see him from the corner of his eye, his bright blue eyes obscured by furrowed brows.
Mark kept his eyes on the pages of his book as he countered, "Why did you spend your summer talking to EVERYBODY?"
A loud half-sigh, half-groan was Jack's reply. He walked over to where Mark was sitting and plopped down. "You have to understand, I wasn't just going to stay here all the time for three months, Mark. I was here a lot in June, but you had to have known that my life wouldn't just be spent in a cave reading books for entertainment."
Mark didn't say anything.
"I told my brothers and sisters that I was bisexual. They accepted me, and they promised that they wouldn't mention a single word of it to our parents until I was ready. By the time July came around, I had told you. That night I went home and told my parents. They hugged me and said that they loved me, and that they didn't care if I had told them I was an alien.
"I got more confident after that. I began going outside more, and I started driving around town. I met some people and we got to become friends. It was there that I met him... I hadn't thought of a relationship by that point, but he made me feel like I was safe. He made me feel calm. He made it so that I could laugh and smile more. So, near the end of the month, we started dating. I think I love him, honestly. I really think I do. We're still together, and it still makes me so happy that he chose to be with me.
"So yeah. I found a guy and now I'm somebody's boyfriend. That's why I haven't been coming here as often, or even at all. I was hanging out with my boyfriend. God, that feels so AMAZING to say!"
The smile on Jack's face said everything, pretty much.
He turned to look at Mark, who was still entranced by his book. In reality, he was trying his best to keep looking at the pages so that he wouldn't turn to Jack and just kiss the hell out of him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, apparently, and this was no exception.
Jack's smile began to fade as he kept looking at Mark. "Well, don't be so fucking thrilled, Mark," he scoffed. "What the fuck is wrong with you? LIGHTEN UP! I've got A BOYFRIEND now!"
Without looking up, the reply came out of Mark's mouth before he even thought about it. "I'm pretty sure you know exactly why I'm so nonplussed about this." He kept staring at his book, unable to keep paying attention to the words in front of him. At this point, it was almost as if he was reading a different language. This was insane. He shouldn't feel this upset and angry and happy and confused and scared all at once.
The magnetic pull to Jack was causing this.
"What do you even MEAN?" he asked, his blue eyes questioning.
Mark had to put the book down. He should kiss Jack right now. He should tell him that he'd had a crush on him since the day they met. He should admit that he had thought about him when he was trying to sleep at night. He should tell him that he had never felt this way about anyone before, ever. He should tell him that he wished that HE was the boyfriend Jack was gushing on and on about.
But he couldn't. At least not now. Not while Jack was over the moon about this other guy.
So Mark grabbed the book again and began reading again, his eyes trying not to waver from the page. He still couldn't pay any attention to the words in front of him. He was just trying to distract himself from Jack.
Jack looked at Mark and said quietly, "If you think that maybe you had something for me, you should've said something earlier, Mark."
Something inside of Mark just died at the hushed sincerity in his voice.
Did he really mean that? Was he telling him that he once even thought about a future between them? Was he telling him that he had once felt the same magnetic pull towards him?
And that he had completely ignored it?
Mark took in a small breath and said, "I wanted to, but I didn't want you to stop talking to me. It's not like I could read your mind, Jack. I couldn't tell if you were going to accept it or not. I had no way of knowing that you wouldn't leave and never come back."
Silence filled the cave, nothing but the sounds of the wind echoing throughout. A heart was broken, another was suddenly full of love, and both of them were just sitting there, not talking, trying to figure out why everything was suddenly so complicated.
Over the course of the school year, Mark had nothing else on his mind but Jack. He would doodle his eyes in his notebooks, he would write down everything he wished he had told him, he would sing songs that he knew Jack would like under his breath.
He didn't make any new friends that year. He barely even talked to the ones he was already "friends" with.
There was nobody else that could fill the gap in his heart quite like Jack could.
Mark tried to keep up with his grades, and he managed to do so pretty well, despite not being invested in school 100%. He was still not over Jack quite yet. There was a tiny piece of him that wished he hadn't met Jack. A small piece of him was hoping that there was some way to forget the magnetic pull that Jack had on him.
But there wasn't, and Mark knew that perfectly well.
Christmas break came soon, and Mark knew that if he didn't at least try to talk to Jack once, he would go insane. He needed to know how he was doing and if he was happy with his boyfriend. Mark didn't care if they were still going out or not, he just wished the best for Jack.
He knew that if you loved something, you should set it free. Or, in his case, someONE. And if that someone would come to him, he would know that they loved him back.
Mark had remembered that Jack had actually given him his phone number after he had made that terrible joke the day Jack confided in him that he was bisexual. With a shaky hand, he searched through his contacts (wow, a whole of four people he actually liked and talked to were on his phone, the rest from girls he had once dated before being honest with himself and friends that made him feel like a piece of garbage on the side of the road) and found Jack's name. There was a small picture of him that Mark had taken when he had put in his number, and he smirked as he saw the gloriously goofy face Jack had made intentionally for the picture.
Ring... ring... ring...
Mark wondered what Jack set as his ringtone for him. Probably something really stupid or funny. Maybe even a mix of both. Probably both.
The fifth ring was cut short before he heard someone pick up the phone. "Hello?" asked the person. He was relieved that it was Jack and not his boyfriend, or worse.
"Hey, Jack... uh... It's Mark."
"Oh, hi! How's winter break going for you so far?"
Small talk. Oh, how Mark hated it. Mark hated this small talk so goddamn much that it almost hurt. "Well, it's going pretty well, I guess," he replied. "How about your's? You and your boyfriend planning anything?"
There was a small pause before Jack answered, "Actually, if you're talking about the boyfriend I think you're talking about, we broke up right after school started. But, I did find someone else that I was dating for a while, and then things fizzled with that too. As of the moment, I'm single."
A faint ray of sunshine fell over Mark.
"Really? Well, I've never really been looking for a boyfriend, so..." Mark let out a tiny laugh, trying to reassure Jack that he was still readily available should he want to give a relationship with him a try, and trying to reassure himself that there was still hope.
Jack laughed a little too and said, "Yeah, I figured that out, though. Uh, would you maybe want to go with me to a movie or something? I mean, we haven't hung out in a while, maybe we could start being friends again."
Mark nodded happily, knowing that Jack wouldn't be able to see him do so, but still excited out of his mind. He wanted to jump for joy. This was it. This was finally the chance he had been looking for. He was going to go on a "date" with Jack!
"Yeah, sure!" he replied, hoping not to sound too eager.
"Okay, how does Friday night at 6:30 sound? We could stop to get food first."
"Sounds good! Then, I'll see you at 6:30 on Friday."
"Yeah, it's a..." Jack stopped before he could say the word 'date' and said, "Uh... see you then!" He then hung up the phone.
Mark couldn't believe it. This was the moment he had been waiting for! Another shot at a first impression with Jack! He wanted to scream out loud.
The magnetic pull had done something right for once.
Friday couldn't come soon enough for Mark.
He was outside waiting for Jack to show up by 6, not wanting to miss a single second where he could be talking to him. He knew that standing outside in the freezing cold waiting for someone for half an hour wasn't a good idea at all, but he didn't care. He could wait for Jack.
He was almost 100% sure that Jack was the one. He had been pondering it all for months and months now, and he had reached the conclusion that Jack was his soulmate.
It only helped prove the theory when Jack showed up to pick Mark up at 6:10.
Mark had began to stare blankly around looking for Jack's car, so when Jack pulled up, it actually scared him a little.
"Get in, loser, we're going shopping," he said, smirking. Mark rolled his eyes and got into the car. He was such a fucking nerd.
"Wow, nice reference, asshat," Mark replied, playfully. He seatbelted himself into the car as he spoke. "That might have been cool a year ago, but that shit ain't flying with me today. We're supposed to be having a good time, not quoting Mean Girls every five seconds."
Jack retorted, "Well maybe I'll stab you like we totally should just stab Caesar."
"God, I wish you weren't such a dork," Mark said, as Jack began pulling out of the driveway. He realized that he meant that because of the slight wistful tone in his voice, but he hoped Jack didn't pick up on it.
Jack kept driving, making no clear indication that he had heard any hint of feelings in Mark's voice, which was relieving, to say the least.
Mark turned on the radio and increased the volume. The radio station wasn't coming in very well, and Jack said, "I have my iPod plugged into the car if you want to see if you like any of the songs I have on there." So Mark fumbled around with Jack's iPod, making sure not to do anything to where he could break the screen.
He eventually found a song that he really liked and began to play it. "Sweet and Low" by Augustana. For some reason, he had found the song and ended up really liking it.
"Wow, I didn't think anyone else but me knew this song," Jack said, surprised.
Mark smiled and began singing to it, his voice actually not half bad, hitting most (if not all) of the notes within a very close range.
Mark didn't even notice that Jack was beginning to stop the car on the side of the road.
"Where the hell are we going?" asked Mark.
Jack smirked and said, "We're going to our hiding place."
Mark was so glad to be back in that cave with Jack. Even though it was darker, colder, and more echoey than it had been in the summer, Mark loved it even more that way.
"So... this is where it all began, and this is where it'll end, huh, Mark?" asked Jack, who was sitting next to him, head on his shoulder. Their hands were overlapping one another's underneath gloves. He lifted his head off of Mark's shoulder then and looked at him.
"What do you mean, Jack? Our friendship--"
Mark was cut off by a pair of lips against his.
He was taken aback by it, but he tried his best to adjust quickly so he could enjoy this. After all, it was what he had wanted since the middle of July (probably since even before that). He let himself fall deeper into the kiss and let a little smile escape his lips as he felt time slow down around him. He wanted nothing more than to just be here in this position with Jack forever. He knew that this was what he was meant to be doing with the rest of his life. He was meant to be with Jack. There was no second best. He had never felt this way about anyone before, and it was indescribable in the best possible way.
When Jack pulled away finally, Mark felt a little empty. There was a tingling sensation still lingering on his lips. It was amazing.
"I've felt a magnetic pull towards you since the day we met, Jack," Mark admitted, looking into the bright blue eyes that were so close to his. "I didn't want to say anything, because I was worried that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I would HATE that. That's why I didn't say anything earlier. I just... I wanted to keep talking to you. I wanted to be your friend. I would rather have been your friend with a giant crush on you than someone you couldn't stand to look at with a giant crush on you."
Jack nodded and said, "I felt it too, honestly. It was... it was so weird because I didn't expect you to be there, and then suddenly I was drawn to you. It was weird. You were so fascinating to me at first. I thought that I was insane for feeling that way, but apparently not." He let out a small laugh, and Mark laughed too.
"So... what did you mean about the whole 'this is where it ends' thing?"
"I meant this is where friendship ends. At least, just for now. We might be best friends AND boyfriends. But right now, I felt like kissing you and now I hereby decree that we're together. Romantically. Now." Jack said, smirking. His hand was still on Mark's face.
"I agree," Mark replied, with a giddy smile. He couldn't help it. He had waited for this for a long time, and he was so glad that this was happening. There were no words that he could possibly use to explain the sheer joy he was feeling in that moment.
Jack's eyes lit up. "Well, I say that since we're making this an official thing, we should probably do that again, just to see if it's as good the second time."
All good things must come to an end. Mark's relationship with Jack was no exception.
Unfortunately, the circumstances by which they broke up weren't actually because they loved each other any less. They had been broken up by fate, and Jack's family.
"Mark, I... I need you to come over. I've got to say goodbye," Jack said, over the phone.
Mark was so confused. What the hell would Jack be saying "goodbye" for? Was this the dreaded breakup that Mark had expected? His heart sunk, and he grabbed the keys off of his dresser. He walked to the door and told his mom that he was driving to Jack's. She said okay and he got into the car. He wanted to cry the entire way there.
Jack's house wasn't far away, only about 5 minutes or so. The radio in Mark's car wasn't coming in very well, except for one station, and Mark wasn't really fond of the song playing, so Mark turned it all the way down and drove.
He knocked, and Jack's sister answered. "Oh, hello, Mark. Jack's upstairs in his room."
"Thanks," Mark said, trying to get to Jack as soon as possible. He needed to know why Jack was telling him goodbye. Not knowing would drive him insane.
He needed to know if this was the end.
When he opened the door, he saw Jack, with his hands holding his knees, sitting on his bed, his head resting on his forearms. Mark quietly asked, "Jack?" Jack's head immediately shot up and he turned to look at Mark. He had such beautiful eyes. Mark wanted to just look at them forever.
"Uh, hi Mark..." Jack said, his voice quivering. "Do you want to sit down?" He sat a hand down next to him and then returned his hand to his knee.
Mark took the offer and sat down next to him. "What's going on? Why are you telling me goodbye?"
"Can't you see? There are boxes full of memories here. Full of America and summer and sadness and you. I'm taking it all with me. We're all going back to Ireland. My grandpa is really sick and my mom needs to be there to take care of him. I... I'm leaving, which means that we can't see each other anymore."
This hurt even more than Mark had thought it would. It hurt even more than just a regular breakup did.
"Are you serious?" Mark asked, his voice hushed and upset. He tried to keep himself from choking on the tears.
Jack nodded, his eyes full of tears. That broke Mark. Those beautiful blue eyes full of tears were the breaking point for Mark. He felt the floodgates break loose and he couldn't control them anymore. There was no point in holding them back. This was a greater pain than pretty much anything he had ever felt before. He wanted to scream. This was it.
Jack put a hand on both sides of his face, turning it to look at him. "Mark, please don't cry, that only makes this harder. I don't want to leave either. You've been the best boyfriend ever. The past year and a half was great, and I swear to you, there will be more. I promise."
Mark nodded and kissed Jack quickly. Knowing very well that this would be the last kiss they may ever share, he then leaned in again, this time trying to get in as long a moment as possible.
Jack pulled away and said, "Mark, I love you."
His heart broke.
That was the first time that Jack had ever said that to him.
[5 Years Later]
Mark had found solace in posting videos on YouTube about three years ago. He was still waiting for Jack to make big on his promise to come back. He was trying very hard to let go of the boy that changed the revolving of his entire world, but it was hard to forget someone that amazing.
He sighed and looked through his emails. Mark had been incredibly lucky--he ended up having a stroke of luck resulting in a lot of subscribers and loyal fans.
The first email he saw was from his good friend Tyler.
"Hey man! I found this really cool guy on YouTube that posts videos like you do! You should check him out!" And attached was a link to a channel.
Jacksepticeye.
Huh. Another Jack.
He thought nothing of it when he clicked it and saw the icon. A green colored tube with a blue eyeball inside. Jack with blue eyes. Typical. Every other Jack he had seen had blue eyes too. Jacksfilms, Jacksgap... they were all the same Jack that didn't mean as much to him. Jacksfilms was a good friend of his, though, at least.
He clicked a random video, a Happy Wheels one, not paying attention to the face. He was bored already.
"Top 'o the mornin' to ya, laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and today, we're gonna be playing some HAPPY WHEELS!" the voice rang out.
It was crystal clear. Mark knew exactly who this was.
It was him.
Mark looked up at the top right of the video box, and there he was, still as handsome as ever, his eyes shining brightly.
Mark couldn't watch the rest of the video. He had to contact him.
He sent him a message and waited anxiously for any sort of reply that Jack could offer. A couple minutes passed until Mark finally saw a reply from Jacksepticeye.
"Holy shit," were the first two words of the message.
"So it really is you, Mark... How weird that we ran into each other again like this. I was planning on trying to come back to the U.S. soon, maybe for VidCon? How would you like to see if this could still work? ;)"
Mark felt his heart lift up a thousand times. There was a new light in his life, and that light was meeting Jack at VidCon.
Mark signed autographs. He took pictures. He did a panel. Hell, he even belted out a song or two. He was so happy to be there with his best friends, Bob and Wade, and to be sitting in front of a small group of his friends and family, his fans.
This was the best day of Mark's life, thus far.
But he still hadn't seen Jack. By the time the last fan was getting a picture and an autograph, he asked her, "Hey, do you know if Jacksepticeye is around here somewhere?"
The fan nodded and said, "I'm pretty sure his panel is up now. You can still make it, Mark. Thanks so much, you're one of my heroes!"
Mark hugged her tightly, thanked her back, and then raced off to find a sign for a Jacksepticeye panel. Somewhere, ANYWHERE.
And there it was.
Mark burst through the doors of the room and yelled, "JACK!"
Jack looked up and saw Mark standing there, and he yelled back, in less volume due to being near a microphone, "MARK!"
Mark started running. He had to feel Jack in his arms or kiss him again.
Jack came running as well.
When the two collided, they hugged. The room around them "aww"ed and cheered, but little did they know the true history that was unfolding right before their eyes. Mark whispered quietly, "I'm so glad you're here." He didn't care that it would probably be picked up by the microphone. He didn't care at all. He just wanted to let Jack know how much this meant to him.
Jack smirked and said, rather loudly, "Just shut up and kiss me, Mark."
"Don't mind if I do," Mark obliged, getting caught up in the cute cheesiness of the moment. He put one hand on each side of Jack's face and leaned forward.
The kiss felt like forever and like a hangover you don't ever want to get rid of and like a sudden burst of energy you have in the middle of the night when you should be asleep but instead you're creating things that Da Vinci and Einstein would label genius-worthy. It felt stolen, but it felt right. It was like sneaking out of your room when you're grounded to go ride with your friends around town, speeding all the while, listening to music that's too loud, rolling the windows down for the wind that's too windy, talking about subjects that are too personal.
And it was the best fucking feeling Mark had ever felt.
Everyone around them was clapping and cheering, some were whistling, and everyone was looking at one another with a smile on their faces.
By the time the two of them had pulled away, they turned to face the crowds and bowed. While some of them might think that this moment was staged, Mark knew much better.
He knew the truth.
After all, soulmates have the same hiding place.