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The day that followed the Colbourne brothers’ heartfelt conversation was also filled with aimless wanderings by three sad souls who drifted in and out of the rooms of Heyrick Park, back and forth across fields and gravel walkways, replaying their sorrows in their heads. Dinner, like much of the daytime, was an unremarkable affair. Though Leo tried her best to liven everyone’s spirits with plans for her next dramatic production with Uncle Samuel, the mood of the room refused to shift. The adults at the table (including Augusta, whose recent adventure might have derived from immaturity but had launched her into adulthood) were simply inconsolable.
When the meal was over, Alexander retreated to his study. Samuel sensed that the evening had pushed the edge of his brother’s daily limit for socialization and avoided following Alexander there for a drink or some conversation. Instead, he tried to read for a time in the drawing room, before finally giving up and staring helplessly into the fire. The girls had long since retired for the evening.
It was a surprise to everyone, then, when carriage wheels rolled down the front drive and stopped at the front doors of Heyrick Park at an hour considered impolite for unannounced visitors.
Alexander heard the carriage, then the front door, then some voices moving in an opposite direction. He waited uncomfortably for a minute before walking to the study door, opening it wider, and peeking around the corner into the corridor. He caught Mrs. Wheatley’s eye just as she passed the entrance to the hall and gave her an incredulous stare. She walked down the corridor toward him with the faintest hint of a smile on her face.
“Who was calling at this hour?”
“It was Lady de Clement, sir, for Mr. Samuel.” She said it plainly and tried her best to hide her delight. She turned and walked back down the hall. Even the steady Mrs. Wheatley had complicated feelings about one brother’s romantic triumph when the other was suffering so greatly.
Letting out a long exhale of both relief and confusion, Alexander went back into the study and shut the door. He sank slowly into one of the chairs in front of the fire, then leaned over to rest his head in his trembling hands. The emotions were many, and all tied up together. He could barely begin to feel one before the next crept in.
Immediately, he was filled with a joyous wonder. Sam has somehow bested the King for the lady’s heart after all. Then he was annoyed. He will be more smug than usual, and that much harder to bear. Then the jealousy arrived. Why does his story end this way when mine does not? I laid my heart bare after months of torture, and he has known this woman for three weeks. Next in line was guilt. That is unkind. Every soul deserves love and companionship. I would not be jealous of Augusta when her time comes.
He soon realized that it was an exercise in futility to make sense of these conflicting emotions in the short term. And he absolutely did not want to speak to Sam until he had control of his thoughts and words. He could not, would not, disturb this careful détente between them.
Eventually, Alexander crept quietly out of the study and made his way to bed via the less-used staircase. He would leave Samuel to revel in his bliss tonight.
In the morning, Alexander lingered over breakfast with Leo and Augusta. Though he would typically eat quickly and take leave for his morning ride, he patiently listened to the girls’ plans for the day while he waited for Samuel’s appearance. He had decided early, as he lay awake and restless in the pre-dawn hours, that he would lead with brotherly love. The rest was his own turmoil to sort out, in his own time. Samuel deserved nothing but warm felicitations if events had indeed played out in his favor.
As the girls excused themselves from the table, Alexander looked at his watch again. The time for a reasonable arrival at the breakfast table had passed. Perhaps Sam had been too excited to sleep. Perhaps he had celebrated his good fortune with a very good bottle of wine. Perhaps he’s been hauling himself out of bed early at Heyrick Park to meet my expectations, but in London he sleeps half the morning away.
These speculations were interrupted at last when Samuel entered the dining room whistling a merry tune. He halted both his progress and his song when he turned to find Alexander at the head of the table. Samuel clearly was expecting an empty room.
But the elder Colbourne was not wholly unprepared for this confrontation. He had thought of their respective circumstances as well. (Though in truth he had spent considerably less time on his family’s reactions than on his own reverie.) He assumed Mrs. Wheatley had shared the news last night of Lady de Clement’s return and their happy reunion.
Relying on an immediate survey of the situation and his courtroom instincts, Samuel gave his brother a soft look and advanced slowly toward the end of the table – as if approaching a horse spooked by gunfire or a child lost in a crowd.
“Xander,” he said softly. “Lady de Clement came here, very late last night. She intends to sever her ties to … well… that other gentleman. And freely associate with yours truly.” He remained standing but reached for a cup and poured some tea. It was lukewarm, but that was his penance for a late arrival.
“Yes, I was informed of that,” Alexander simply responded.
“I know not what to say to you. Two days ago, we were both suffering. Today, I feel very fortunate. But it would not be fair to share my delight too freely in your company.”
Alexander thought again of his own entanglement, and the young lady that had captured his heart completely. He reflected on their strange meeting at the church two days prior. Miss Heywood was uncharacteristically distant and quiet while seated next to him. When he inquired about her errand to Heyrick Park, she claimed rather indifferently that she was making her final farewell. Though he had declared his affections on the cliffs and signaled a new understanding to her on the Falmouth journey, it did not seem to sway her. Miss Heywood was set to return to Willingden and marry the farmer – the other farmer. Alexander felt that the future he sought with her was beyond reach.
“Sam, I will not begrudge you your happiness,” Alexander said with a forced cheerful countenance. “We have spent too long living out these old habits. If one of us shines, the other need not fall into the shadows.
“Who are you? What have you done with my moody and reclusive brother?”
“I simply mean that we are grown men, with separate lives and distinct responsibilities.” Alexander cocked his head to one side. “Wait, do you have any responsibilities?”
“Ah, there he is,” Samuel replied lightly. Then, in his mock serious voice, “The Master of the Estate - Alexander the Honorable.”
Alexander stood up abruptly. “That is what I am trying to be, Sam,” he nearly shouted. But he quickly regained control of his temper and sat back down with a heavy sigh. “I am striving to treat each member of this family with the respect they are due. You know how delicately I responded to Augusta in Falmouth. Leo needs the freedom to pursue her interests, as well. I must stop wrapping everyone around me in my own sorrow.”
He softened his tone. “And with regard to you: I want you to have what your heart desires. When the chance for love presents itself, certainly at our stage in life, we must grasp it wholeheartedly and without delay. I am truly pleased that you have found someone to walk beside you in life.”
Samuel, surprised by his brother’s dignified response, smiled. “Then I will thank the powers that be for your recent enlightenment.” He was certain that the power, in this instance, belonged to Charlotte Heywood. Be he would not dare speak her name. Not today, when she was likely preparing to pursue a life outside of Sanditon and separate from his brother.
As he finished his tea, Samuel picked up a piece of toast and took half a step backward. “I regret that I cannot stay. I am already late to meet Lady de Clement. I promised to call on her this morning.”
Alexander stood again. “Go. I understand,” he encouraged. “You should not keep your lady waiting.”
“Thank you, brother. Your steadfast support, even in these circumstances, means a great deal to me.” Samuel nodded his appreciation, then turned and exited. He had not gone more than three steps before he resumed whistling his merry tune.
Alexander surveyed the empty room. Was this to be his fate? Alone again at Heyrick Park, with two girls who needed more than he could give them? He was gaining confidence in his role as a father and guardian. But it was Miss Heywood who had so recently encouraged him and guided him, who had acted as a partner during Augusta’s troubles. And she was leaving Sanditon, if not already gone. He wanted nothing more than to magically erase her prior commitments and to make her an offer of marriage.
What his heart desired was a lifetime with Charlotte Heywood by his side. But that was not to be.
Exhausted again by these futile wishes, Alexander ran both hands through his hair. A ride with Hannibal will surely bring some solace, he thought.