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Jamie was being a prick. He knew he was being a prick. Not the kind of prick that was vindictive and cruel like he used to be, but he was being a prick. And he knew it. The thing was - he’d realised in one of his sessions with Dr. Sharon - he was bored. A bored Jamie Tartt was a Jamie Tartt looking for trouble. So he was being a prick, because it was funny, and his team mates would laugh, and he’d get a rush of endorphins every time he’d catch Roy looking at him with that look that said he was in for a lecture. What was that thing they said about bad attention being better than no attention?
“Tartt! Get over here now!” Jamie cracked a smile at the lads and started running backwards, stopping with shit-eating grin plastered across his face as he spun round to face Roy. “What’s up coach?” he said, hand sweeping his mop of hair back from his forehead as the man he’d been harbouring a crush on for god knows how long, stared him down.
“Would it kill you to stop acting like a fucking prick for five minutes and focus? We’ve got a league to win, you know.” Roy scowled at him, but he swore he could see amusement in the older man’s eyes.
Because that was the thing, Jamie wasn’t totally delusional, there was something going on there. He just didn’t know what it was, and that was the problem. He couldn’t quite figure out a way to broach it with him. So - in true Jamie fashion - he did his best to get a rise out of the older man in every situation he could. They’d come close to the ‘something’ last week, he’d been winding Roy up about being an old man and found himself pressed up against the wall with a leg between his thighs and finger tips pressed to the fluttering pulse in his throat.
“Roy” Jamie dragged out the last syllable long enough to see the vein start to pop in Roy’s forehead before continuing. “We’ve been at it for hours, we wanna go home!” his bottom lip jutted out in the way that always got him his own way with Keeley - no, he would not be thinking too hard about what trying the same moves on Roy meant.
“It’s Coach Kent to you, fuckhead.” Roy snapped before yelling to the rest of the team. “Go on you lot, fuck off to the showers!” Jamie grinned in satisfaction, making it all of one step before a warm hand clamped down on his bicep. “Not you, you’re coming with me.”
Jamie felt a flash of something in his gut as he let himself be frog marched towards the jet black Mercedes, cleats scraping along the asphalt. Was it finally happening? Was this thing between them coming to fruition after months of dancing around it? And if it was, was he even ready?
By the time they made it to Roy's, Jamie was pushing down the panic that was set to a rolling boil. One of the other things that he'd been working on with Dr. Sharon was that he was worth more than what his body could do, that he didn't have to fall dick-first into bed with someone in order to be worthy of love. But he'd pushed Roy, taunting and teasing him and dancing through the sexual undertones until he was standing outside his house not quite remembering the car ride that got him there.
"Hey, get inside, its freezing out there" Roy said, snapping Jamie from his anxious musings. Internal panicking aside, Jamie was rendered somewhat speechless as he took in the house, namely the fact that it was about as far from what he was expecting as possible. The hallways were lined with photos of Roy and his sister, Phoebe in all her stages of life from newborn to her most recent birthday. An entryway table held an array of succulents as well as what looked to be a very expensive glass bowl ladened with — was that potpourrie?
Roy had disappeared from sight, shoes toed off next to a rack laden with training boots and a kids pair of converse. "Are you just gonna stand there? Take your shoes off and get upstairs, second door on the left, I'll be up in a minute." Roy's voice was gruff, but his tone was softer, ever so slightly more affectionate. All Jamie could do was nod, kicking off his shoes and making his way upstairs. Okay so they were doing this then.
Roy's bedroom was decorated in sage green, an accent wall framing the large windows that looked out over a garden that looked better suited to a Hallmark movie than an — albeit posh —estate in south London.
He could hear Roy's footfalls on the carpeted stairs followed by rustling in a room down the hall, and found his hands scrunching in his pockets as he tried to figure out what the fuck to do next. Clearly Roy had decided that tonight was the night to break the dam on whatever this was, so how the fuck was he supposed to explain that he wanted to take it slow? What if Roy just wanted him for the night, only to be thanked and sent on his merry way tomorrow morning? Maybe having one night was better than having nothing at all. Maybe Jamie was delusional to believe he could accept only one night.
Jamie's nervous thought spiral was interrupted by movement in the doorway. "You okay there sweetheart?" And didn't that just do something to his heart. "Y-yeah fine.." Jamie trailed off, eyes fixating on the older man's reflection in the window.
"Okay, strip and meet me down the hall, first door on the left." And then he was gone, reflection going back to a ghostly glow of furniture lining the walls, a space where the older man had just dropped a bombshell now empty.
Jamie dropped his kit, feeling more bare than he ever had before even as he kept his boxers on. The floor was cold against his feet, goose bumps popping up along his arms even as his face flamed at the thought of what was coming next. God he's never had this kind of performance anxiety before, what the fuck was wrong with him?
The pounding of his pulse reached a fever pitch when he pushed down on the handle of whatever room Roy had requested him in, synapses firing with questions of what the fuck he'd gotten himself into if Roy wasn't even going to fuck him in his own bed.
The synapses shorted out when the door swung open. Roy was leaning against the bathroom sink, shirtless and tanned and Jesus fucking Christ had he died and gone to heaven? Roy was smiling, one of those secret smiles that most people never got to see, that Jamie had only been graced with a handful of times.
"Whatever is going on in that head of yours, I want you to park it for a minute and come get in the bath with me." Jamie's mouth suddenly went dry, eyes darting around the room as the bubbles in the bath popped quietly and the light from the candles on the floating shelves flickered intermittently.
"Th-the bath?" It was official, Roy had officially broken his brain. "I-I thought we were going to-I thought-I-bath-what?" Roy took a step forward, hands outstretched like one would approach a scared animal. "Come here." Roy said quietly, fingers curling around his as he led him further into the room. "Me and you have a lot to talk about, not least your ability to press every single one of my buttons in the span of one afternoon. But if we're going to do this, we're going to do it when you've got a clear head and you're not wrapped up in what you think is expected of you when it comes to this." Roy said, gesturing between the two of them.
All Jamie could do was nod as Roy sat him down on the side of the bath, crouching between his legs as he ran gentle thumbs down the spanse of open skin leading to his hips. "All you need to know is for the last year all I've been able to think about is you. Pretty much every waking moment is consumed by thoughts of you so now, we are going to take a bath, and you're going to let yourself be taken care of, and then we're going to go to sleep in my absurdly large bed and figure the rest out tomorrow." Jamie couldn't help the pout that formed at the outright denial of sex. Sure, he was supposed to be abstaining because he wanted this to mean something more, but Roy was semi naked and kneeling between his legs with his big hands wrapped around his hips, Jamie was only human for fucksake.
Roy placed a kiss to his knee as Jamie nodded, standing to his full height before stripping completely and stepping into the bath. Jamie followed suit, its not that he was self conscious of his body, he knew what he looked like, but there was something more vulnerable about this, something intrinsically more intimate.
Intimate or not, however, he couldn't deny what the hot water was doing for his sore muscles. The breath he let out as he sank down under the bubbles felt like a weight being taken off his back, and he momentarily forgot he wasn't alone. Warm fingers curved around his biceps, tilting him ever so slightly backwards until his body lay flush between Roy's legs.
The bathroom was silent but for the occasional slosh of water against the side of the frankly obscenely large tub. "Roy.." Jamie started, relaxing a little further as fingers danced along his thighs. "Yes, Jamie?" He could hear the smile in the older man's voice, slightly chapped lips pressing against the crown of his head. "Do you seriously shower with lavender scented shower gel?" Jamie couldn't keep the laughter from his voice even if he tried.
A pinch to his thigh made him yelp before throwing his head back in laughter as Roy said "I like the smell, you little shit, now shut up and let me wash your hair." So Jamie did. He relished the gentle strokes through his slightly tangled hair, tilting his head back as instructed while Roy washed away the sweat and the grime of the days training, fingers eventually drifting down to massage his shoulders.
He was half way to being asleep when Roy tapped him on the shoulder. "Come on angel, up and out, it's time for bed." Jamie groaned by acquiesced, limbs like jelly as he wrapped a towel around his waist and traipsed after Roy towards the bedroom. He stood beside the bed, watching with no small amount of longing as Roy riffled through his wardrobe, dropping the towel to don a pair of boxers. "Here" he said as he launched a shirt at Jamie "You can sleep in this." Jamie caught the shirt, shaking it out to reveal Roy's old Chelsea team shirt, faded from one too many washes but soft and smelling like the same fabric softener that had invaded his senses all those months ago in the boot room, Roy's arms wrapped around him in comfort.
"You know, somewhere in an alternate timeline, fourteen year old me is screaming that i'm wearing Roy Kent's Chelsea shirt."
Roy rolled his eyes as he made his was around the bed, eyebrows pinched together as he sighed. "Sometimes I wish you'd stop saying odd shit, because now I need to know what an 'alternate timeline' is, and we're supposed to be going to bed." Jamie giggled, sliding on the boxers Roy had in his hand before sequestering himself under the duvet.
"Oi! that's my side you little shit, move over." Jamie threw his head back and laughed at the image of his coach being so precious about 'his' side of the bed. "But I thought you were obsessed with me?" Jamie said with a coy smile "I thought you wanted to care for me." Jamie's sing-song tone was positively gleeful as Roy reached for him, rolling him over as he claimed his side of the mattress.
"You've got a very big mouth for someone who's supposed to be up in six hours for a 10k run." Roy grinned as Jamie groaned, curling himself into the older man's open arms. "But you said we were going to talk tomorrow." Jamie couldn't stop the pout now plastered across his lips, trying his level best to endear his man to cancel their scheduled training.
"We are going to talk tomorrow, but you'll talk better with a clear head, and 10k is sufficient punishment for spending the entire day mouthing off to your coach." Jamie propped his head on Roy's chest, face relaxed as he wandered his fingers through the chest hair that had been the feature of many a late night fantasy.
The room dipped into silence, even breaths punctuating the quiet as he basked in the warmth of the man holding him. "Can I ask you a question?" Jamie said quietly.
"Shoot."
"Score" Jamie smirked. Roy squeezed the back of his neck in warning.
"How did you know?"
"How did I know what?"
"How did you know I was freaking out, that I was in me head?"
"Jamie, we've known each other three years, I've been obsessed" he squeezed his neck again "with you for a third of that time, I knew because I pay attention, because when something's bothering you, it's bothering me too, because when you get stuck in that head of yours, I can see it on your face, and there's pretty much nothing I wouldn't do to try and help you. And despite the fact I want nothing more than to spend every night opening you up and fucking you until the only name you can remember is mine, I also know that we owe each other a proper conversation and a proper dating period before we jump into bed together. I think you might be it for me Jamie, and I don't wanna fuck that up"
Jamie was beginning to realize that the only time he was ever speechless was around Roy. He couldn't remember a time where he'd felt this seen, where he'd felt this cared for. "The mighty Jamie Tartt rendered silent again? If all it took to get you to shut up was telling you my feelings I would have done it ages ago" Roy pulled him closer as he shouted an indignant "Hey!"
Jamie settled once again, pushing his leg until it nestled between the older man's, arm slung across his chest as he buried his face into his pecks. Roy's breaths were starting to even out when Jamie whispered "I'm kind of obsessed with you too ya know?" before closing his eyes.
"Well I should fucking hope so!"
And Roy groaned as Jamie divulged into another fit of giggles.