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r/AITA
u/Padfoot: AITA for constantly annoying my roommate by borrowing his stuff?
I (24M) share a flat with my roommate (24M), let's call him Moony. We've been friends for ages and, when we went to uni, we decided to share a flat.
Here's the thing: Moony owns the most ridiculously comfortable cardigans and sweatshirts in the world. Like, unfairly soft. They smell like fabric softener and warm laundry, and they're so comfy, they're always perfectly oversized on me. Sometimes I just grab one when I'm cold, or when we're watching TV, or if I can't find my own hoodie (which happens a lot, I hate doing laundry).
The problem is, Moony sighs every time he sees me in one of his jumpers. He'll roll his eyes, mutter about how I "never return things properly" and "never do my own laundry" but then —and here's the confusing bit— he'll sit next to me on the sofa, tug the sleeves over my hands so I don't "stretch them out" and make me tea. So he's basically scolding me and taking care of me at the same time. Confusing, right??
But the most confusing thing happened last week.
I had a date and I couldn't decide what to wear. Without really thinking about it, I grabbed one of Moony's jumpers, a dark grey one with a classic style. It made me look a little more put-together, honestly, and it was so damn comfy. When Moony saw me before I left, he froze for a second, then his face did this weird thing and he said, "Don't wear my clothes on dates".
I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but he went on and said that if I was going to impress my date, I had to wear my own sweaters. Then he disappeared into his room and didn't come out until I left.
When I got home later, he was still in his room and never asked how my date went. And since then, he hasn't let me near his cardigans. He even started folding them in his room instead of leaving them around like he always did.
So now I'm wondering: AITA for borrowing his clothes too much without asking or is Moony just being too possessive about his sweaters?
u/GrangerDanger OP is out here describing fabric softener and cozy cardigans like a sonnet and wondering if he’s the asshole. You’re not, you’re *just* oblivious
u/Curious_Kneazle NTA. But mate, your roommate isn't protective of sweaters, he's protective of you
u/Gryffindor_Chaser He let you lounge around in his hoodies for months and only got upset when you wore one on a date? He's jealous
u/PygmyPuff Not the asshole. But your roommate has a crush
EDIT/UPDATE 1 - u/Padfoot OP
Wow, didn't expect so many comments. A lot of people are saying Moony's "jealous" which… no? That doesn't make sense. He's just particular about his things. He alphabetizes our spices, right? This is just another weird rule.
For the record, he has started locking his cardigan drawer (yes, that's a thing, apparently drawers can lock??). And he keeps giving me side-eye whenever I reach for one of his hoodies when he leaves them around.
I tried joking with him last night, I said "What, afraid I'll run off with one on another date?" and he just glared at me, cheeks pink, and muttered "Something like that". Then shoved a mug of tea into my hands.
So yeah, I don't think he's actually mad-mad, just being dramatic. Still don't see how this is about anything other than laundry.
u/TrelawneyVision This isn't about cardigans, OP. If it were, he would've banned you from wearing them ages ago. He only went mad when you had a date…
u/NifflerPocket I can't believe you typed "he muttered 'something like that' while blushing and handing me tea" and still think this is about laundry
u/DobbySocks He's not mad at the laundry situation. He's mad you're using his sweater to look good for someone else.
u/PolyjuiceLatte Moony: "Don't wear my clothes on dates." You: "He must care a lot about knitwear." OP, mate. Please.
EDIT/UPDATE 2 - u/Padfoot OP
Okay, so I've been reading through more comments (some of you are too dramatic, by the way). A lot of people are insisting he has a… crush??? Which feels insane because: 1) Moony doesn't do feelings and 2) we're just mates. Like, for real. We've always been mates.
But then, today he caught me reaching for his blue hoodie (I swear it was just reflex) and instead of snapping at me, he just said, "If you want one so badly, I'll go shopping with you. We'll find you something that actually suits you".
Which is weird, right? Like, why does he care what "suits me"? He could've just told me if he hated my style. Like, he's not a fashion guru. I mean, he's… polished. He has a… look. A really good look, actually.
Anyway, he's sulking with a book right now, and the sweaters are all still hidden away. I don't get him. Maybe he really is just obsessive about laundry.
…Though I keep re-reading the comments here and wondering if I am missing something.
u/FwooperTunes "he has a really good look" omg mate you can't be that oblivious
u/Diricawl_Dreamer Keep re-reading the whole thread mate, maybe you'll find what you're "missing"
u/FlooFlames OP. If this were a movie, this would be the point where everyone in the audience is screaming "JUST KISS"
FINAL UPDATE - u/Padfoot OP
Alright. You lot win. I think you were right.
So here's what happened: last night, Moony finally snapped. I tried to tease him again — pulled one of his jumpers out of the laundry basket and said, "Don’t overreact, I’m not wearing it on a date this time".
He went very still, then said, "Maybe I don't want you wearing my things when you're trying to impress someone else and not me".
I was standing there like an absolute idiot, holding a sweater, while my brain finally caught up with what everyone here has been shouting for ages.
Long story short: I dropped the jumper, asked him if he was serious (you can't understand how funny I was saying this), and he just rolled his eyes (but his ears were bright red) and said, "Of course I'm serious, you prat".
We talked. A lot. Turns out all the tea, all the sighing, all the "don't wear my clothes" drama wasn't about knitwear at all. It was about him being hopelessly into me and thinking I'd never notice. Which is hilarious, because apparently I've been hopelessly into him too.
So yeah. We kissed, then ended up on the sofa tangled up in one of his cardigans (don't laugh). And this morning, he shoved one of his sweater into my arms and said, "Fine. You can keep this one. But only because it looks better on you".
So, the results:
AITA for stealing my roommate's sweaters? Maybe.
AITA for being completely oblivious to the fact that we were both pining like idiots? Absolutely.
But hey, now we're dating so I'm also NTA because, without me, we would be still at the "just roommates" stage!
Thanks folk, but I guess I don't need Reddit anymore ;)