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It starts at a coffee shop. Of course it does. Everything in Yoongi’s life is related to coffee somehow. Maybe he and coffee had beef in their previous lifetimes. Maybe they had a love that ended badly in those previous lifetimes. Maybe Yoongi’s mom had him in a coffee shop. Whatever the reason, it starts at a coffee shop on a Wednesday morning.
The barista is a boy Yoongi’s familliar with, having ordered frequently during the same time frame. His name always slips his notice, however, small writings on a black nametag is impossible. It’s pretty standard seller - customer relationship.
Bleary eyed and disheveled from pulling an all-nighter, he orders a white choco mocha for both the tiny bit of espresso and the sugar. Being exhausted doesn’t mean he’s blind though.
Shy glances. Small smiles in high frequency. Lingering touches when he hands over the buzzer and when he receives his drink.
It should say something about his ego that he isn’t surprised when there’s a number and a name on the side of the cup. A tiny heart, too. As if the person wanted to add one but didn’t want to come off as overly enthusiastic and settled for a tiny one instead.
It’s cute enough to draw a smile out of him, and it’s not like the guy was unattractive either, large eyes that curve upwards and round cheeks, soft featured and gentle mannered, but Yoongi just isn’t looking for that right now.
He debates never returning for half a second. Alas, the mocha tastes wonderful, and it’s too much effort finding a new coffee shop that fits his tastes, his timetable, and his wallet. He shoots a text that goes something like “I’m flattered, but maybe we should just be friends”, it’s appropriate enough, right?
He receives the answer the moment he gathered enough courage to go through the door (and after suffering withdrawal for all of two days).
It turns out, Jimin, the barista, isn’t that interested either. Thankfully, it was a ‘spur of the moment’ thing, he’s got a soft spot for grouches with a bit above average looks, apparently. It would’ve been awful levels of awkward if it had been a ‘months of pining’ thing, Yoongi doesn’t even want to think about that.
So they start to converse somewhat regularly, if Yoongi’s caffeine fix coincides with Jimin’s shifts, and Yoongi can finally, finally, say his social circle is bigger than Hoseok and Namjoon.
Things are quiet for another two days.
Then, he’s walking home one night, the same as always, enjoying the evening, the breeze, the smattering of stars bright enough to go against the city lights. It’s all nice, until, like some goddamn drama trope, he slams into somebody while tilting his stupid face up to look at the sky.
Being dipped isn’t as bad as it looks, Yoongi thinks wryly before he’s choking on his spit and hacking his lungs off. Very attractive. Actually attracitive enough to garner a cheesy pick-up line.
The boy carefully brings him up by the waist from his casual dive for the ground. Stares him in the eyes and says solemnly.
“Looks like you’ve fallen for me.”
He’s so taken aback he can’t do anything but blink.
“Sorry, I should introduce myself,” the boy grins, perfect teeth showed off in a blocky heart shape. He’s taller by a head, hair unstyled and flying everywhere in a free-spirited kind of fashion more amplified by his baggy clothing. “Kim Taehyung,” he says, voice a rumble jarringly different from his boyish features. Yoongi thinks he can feel it in his chest where they’re flushed against each other.
Carefully untangling his limbs, Yoongi steps slowly away. Half because ‘stranger danger’ (which is ridiculous, Kim Taehyung doesn’t seem like he could hurt a fly) and half because there’s a polar bear by his feet, idly picking at the ground.
“Ah,” Kim Taehyung speaks again, “this is Soonshim, we’re on a walk, do you wanna join? We can get ramyun from the convenience store over there.” He pats the huge dog’s head lovingly. Yoongi feels his face soften at the sight.
Naturally, his response is the following:
“You could do much better than picking up strangers on the sidewalk at 11pm.” He winces from the rudeness and tries to rectify. “I mean, uh…”
“It’s cool,” Kim Taehyung spreads the hand not holding Soonshim’s leash in front of him. Smiles. “Do you want me to come back in the morning?”
Yoongi blanches.
“Kidding! Kidding!” Kim Taehyung laughs, delighted. “It’s too bad, but ramyun does sound good. You up for that?” he jerks his head towards the 24-hour store. “We’ll split the bill, don’t worry,” he adds, removing any suspicions of a stealth date.
And so, from then on, Yoongi’s Sunday evenings are spent playing frisbee and occasionally eating ramyun with Taehyung and Soonshim. Sometimes he can’t discern which is human and which is puppy, but that’s not even the strangest thing in his life currently.
The day after, just as Yoongi decided the previous incidents were coincidences and not some weird trick of fate (it’s this weird thing about twos, you can’t decide if it’s a lot or a few, therefore you’re not tilting completely on any side), in walks Kim Seokjin, supermodel figured, actor faced, older guy personalitied Kim Seokjin, to mess it all up.
The guy showed up at his door with freshly baked cookies for Heaven’s sake, Yoongi couldn’t stand a chance. Someone told Kim Seokjin ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ and boy does he put it to practice efficiently.
First, it’s the I-just-moved-next-door cookies. Then, it’s ‘spare’ sandwiches, neatly-cut triangular things with the crust removed, made seconds before they get to Yoongi. Then, right at dinner time, Seokjin would give him a big serving of whatever he cooked up. Sometimes he wonders if he’d have to text Seokjin when he eats outside.
Yoongi looks down at the snacks in front of him and chews with difficulty. There are chocolate covered strawberries, soft bread rolls, soft cheese, some cupcakes, and a jug of mint lemonade. Seokjin knocked on his door with a food basket minutes ago, and he convinced the neighbor to stay and eat with him. Yoongi’s still not sure if that’s wise or not.
He stares at him. Seokjin looks back from under his long lashes. Shit.
“Do you like me?” Yoongi blurts. Fuck.
Color blooms prettily on the apples of Seokjin’s cheeks. A person has no right having this much beauty goddamn. The shit that’s happening to Yoongi should happen to someone like Seokjin instead.
“I do,” Seokjin replies, laughing squeakily. Right, his laugh sounds like window swipers, that just makes him endearing instead of unattractive. “Is that bad?” He nibbles his lower lip.
“N-no!” Yoongi scrambles for words. “Don’t ever think it’s bad to feel anything,” he says sincerely. “It’s just that, I don’t think I feel the same way.”
“Oh,” Seokjin deflates visibly. Yoongi’s never wanted to slap himself so badly.
“I like you!” he exclaims. “Just, not like that,” he finishes lamely.
“It’s okay, I understand.” Seokjin’s smile, if dimmer, still reaches his eyes, words not even an ounce of pretense.
“You’ll meet someone better for you,” Yoongi says, giving his hand a quick squeeze, trying to transfer the genuineness into his words. “Sorry I led you on.”
“You didn’t!” Seokjin’s eyes are wide. “You kept your distance. I figured something wasn’t right when you invited me in, anyway.”
Yoongi tries for a smile. Reassuringly. “I would hate to lose a friend like you. Is it bad that I’m saying this?”
“Not at all!” Seokjin laughs again. “I’m over you already! Thanks for nibbing it at the bud.”
“You’re welcome?”
Squeak.
“You know, the free food was pretty nice. Do friends still have that privillege?”
“Nope. Sorry. Romantic interests and lovers only.”
“That sucks. It’s a good thing you’re interesting on your own, too, then.”
“Charming.”
“You liked it five minutes ago.”
“Now I’m sane.”
“Ouch.”
The free food continues regardless. Only, it’s less flirty and more ‘you have terrible survival instincts so I’ll have to feed you so you won’t die’. Then, Seokjin insists he go with Yoongi when he buys coffee for them both as an insufficient repayment for the food.
He and Jimin hit it off within the first sentences.
Somehow, Yoongi’s apartment becomes a hangout place for them, even though he’s pointed out every time without fail that Seokjin’s is right next door. Eventually, these hangouts match meetups between him and Namjoon and Hoseok. Which leads to more evenings spent walking aimlessly in avoidance as they wreck havoc in his poor apartment. Which means they come out looking for him when he’s gone for too long. Which means they meet Taehyung and Soonshim eventually. Which means his apartment has to substain another adult plus a polar bear of a dog.
Yoongi wonders what he did wrong to have his life spiral out of control so badly.
He’s so brain dead nothing stirs a reaction from him anymore. Not even a bunny-teethed boy glaring at him with his large sparkly eyes, looking minus a hundred on the intimidation scale. Not even when he says, “You made me lose my job.”
Now, he’s never seen this boy, much less know what his job is, so it’s flabbergasting, but he only raises a brow in question.
“You are literally the most awful person ever,” bunny boy groans, hand ruffling black hair that reminds Yoongi of the velvet covering of his piano. “Do you know how hard I worked on you?” he asks aggressively. “How much math I had to do to calculate compability for three matches??”
Yoongi shakes his head. It seems appropriate to.
“Of course you don’t!” the boy exclaims, gets increasingly deranged the more he goes on. Yoongi would back away and look for escape, but there’s something holding him back. “If you did, you wouldn’t have turned them down so easily!”
Yoongi narrows his eyes. “This sounds crazy, but, are you somehow related to my…” he trails off, looks for the appropriate word. “...meetings, with my friends?”
“Friends!” the boy laughs maniacally. “Min Yoongi, how is it possible that you piss me off even more in three minutes than during the weeks I observed you?”
“Sorry?” Yoongi asks, then grows indignant. “Wait a minute, why am I apologizing?”
The boy scoffs. Yoongi almost sees red when he closes his eyed and counts to ten.
“I’ll have a proper conversation with you when you learn some manners,” he says and walks away. There’s something vaquely like a groan before the boy chases after him and holds him back.
“Wait, I need to explain!”
“I don’t wanna hear it.”
“You do. You will. Just listen!”
Yoongi huffs, “Fine, go on.”
They sit down on a nearby bench and stay there even as the sun sets and the street lights come on.
“So you’re saying, you’re some kinda helper for Eros?” Yoongi begins slowly.
“Assistant-in-training. But yeah, pretty much.” The boy, who he now knows as Jeon Jungkook, nods.
“... And your final test is to find me a significant other?” He hopes it’s as weird as it sounds to his ears. There’d be no justice if it’s just a universally accepted fact.
“Which I failed, no thanks to you.” Jeon Jungkook is incredibly bitter and overgrown and overdressed for a diaper-wearing cherub.
“Not my fault you’re terrible at your job. I know nothing about this matchmaking business, but I’m pretty sure there’s a difference between romantic compatibility and platonic compatibility,” Yoongi says sagely, ignoring Jungkook’s imitation of a fish. “Also, why would you keep that job if you hate math?”
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, furrows his brows. “Huh, you’re right.”
Yoongi smiles, smug as Cheshire. “There’s a reason Eros has Psyche, young one. You need experience.”
“There’s more to it than just compatibility,” Jungkook mumbles. “Besides, you’re only 4 years older than me!”
“That means you’re technically a baby.”
“Hey!”
Yoongi grins when the other turns to look at him completely. Immediately, Jungkook ducks his head, ears red.
“So,” Yoongi says, grin growing wider, “experience, I can help you with that.”
The flush runs across Jungkook’s face impressively quick.
“Go on a date with me,” Yoongi says. “How does this weekend sounds?”
“... You literally just called me a baby 3 seconds ago.” Jungkook quirks his lips into a half-smile. Yoongi imagines it might pack quite a punch if not for his blushing. “Is this an admission to pedophilia? Or is it… Bit early for kinks, don’t you think?”
“Please don’t say kink ever again,” Yoongi groans, physically in pain.
Jungkook laughs at that, heartily and without worry.
“This weekend sounds great.”
(“In retrospect, all you had to do was meet me in person.”
“Shut up.”)