Chapter Text
Shouta was tired
Not only in the sense that he developed insomnia from the war, that’s most likely playing into this more than he realizes really, but exhausted mentally.
Shouta’s tired and it can't be fixed
Not unless the war was something he entirely made up and didn’t lose everything.
It can't be fake.
He saw it all happen, he felt it all happen, and he couldn’t erase any of it like he could erase quirks.
But god did he wish he could sometimes. The only reason he doesn't completely wish for that was the fact that not everyone knew what happened to each person, and since he was 1, Usually using his quirk when each incident happened, 2, had his eyes open so he couldn't exactly shield his eyes from what he saw and by proxy knew every excruciating detail of it all.
So yeah, he witnessed the horrid torture like deaths of many people, coworkers? He doesn't want to remember the way Snipe and Hound dog Had died he’s just glad he was fast enough not to vomit on their corpses, Friends? Nemuri got turned to ashes by the league of villains pyromaniac, at least patchwork practically lost his leg cause Shouta wasn't one to kill people, Hizashi slowly turned to dust and a part of him kinda wish’s Hizashi turned to dust quickly and not so slowly in his arms….but at least he got to say good bye?.. he wasn't an optimist, that was Nemuri’s and Hizashi’s jobs but they died so he’ll have to do it for them despite how shit he is at it.
…
All of those have practically destroyed him.
But…
His childrens deaths is kinda something that no matter the detail, is ingrained and burned into his memories.
He remembers almost every detail of the other deaths he’s seen, the most clear being Nemuri’s and Hizashi’s, but he still has a few blurs here and there.
His children’s? It’s so clear that he might as well have a quirk that photographs memories.
Yuga, when he was found out by the league of his double crossing for helping UA with the info he’d leak, was the first to go as he was stripped of his quirk on the battlefield in front of everyone, effectively killing him from the mutation quirk his biology had accepted and would now die without.
He remembers using his capture weapon to catch Yuga and holding him as All for one, was once Shigaraki, monologueed.
Kyoka had a heart attack when she used her quirk to create such a large earthquake that the ground had so many splints that it created hills of broken ground. He remembered catching her as she spasmed and then trying to do chest compressions. It didn’t work.
Ochaco created a gravity field that was so powerful it left items falling from the sky for weeks and the only thing never being seen touching the ground again was her body, he remembers waiting for awhile to see if she’d ever fall, he still visits the area sometimes just to see if she’d be on the ground or if she were to be actively falling from the sky, But she might be past the earth’s atmosphere… he still comes by anyways.
a nomu killed two of his students: Toru and Mashirao, their mangled remains being something he’d never forget, it was devastating to learn what Toru looked like, devastating to see her dead face looking into nothing alongside Mashirao. He remembered he had found them when he was actually searching for them, as they had been missing for 2ish days, he held them for a bit and apologized for not being there even though he knew they were long dead.
Katsuki became a suicide bomber in the middle of the war that created a huge wasteland in which a large majority of the rest of the war played out, the field being named ‘Katsukis last blast”. He remembers that he visited the area many times before the end of the war, much like how he visited Ochaco. He remembers how he and his other children only knew of the plan as it was happening and saw how destructive it was so far away.
In that same field Shouto and a student from another school created such a deadly storm of fire, Ice and wind that killed all villains and soldiers in the area including themselves. Once again he and his children, alongside the students who once knew the wind controller, witnessed a planned death from a distance only 2 weeks from each other. He once again remembered visiting the place long before the end of this horrid battle.
Hanta died from making himself a distraction for his classmate now nomu, Koji, killing them both in a collapsing building. He remembers shouting at Hanta to be careful only to see him and Koji dead.
Fumikage and Darkshadow had been exposed to trigger after a mission, to gather supplies, it had affected them both horribly setting off a rampage, killing anyone in sight and then having to be put down by Nemuri(before her murder), Eijiro and himself. He remembered quietly apologizing to his student and his quirk, it was awful having to stop them like they were animals.
Mezo, Rikido and Tsu being the casualties of the rampage, they were only found minutes from having to kill Fumikage and Darkshadow.
Momo created and created without proper food and giving her rations to others then herself, malnourishment killing her as she made a bomb almost as destructive as Katsuki's own suicide bombing and taking the villains and nomu’s that had followed her into a corner with her. He remembered that he only found out moments before the explosion just like two other peers of Momos.
All these deaths have hurt him far beyond what duct tape could usually stick back together.
Mina, Denki, Eijiro, Izuku and Hitoshi’s deaths were devastating in the way that they were almost there.
They almost got to live past 16…
..
But they didn’t get to live past that…
..
.
They stopped a war they shouldn’t have been a part of….
All in a horrifying sequence of deaths was how the war ended, a sequence of the deaths of his children was how it all ended.
Mina and Denki did a last an attempt at killing Shigaraki, Mina produced so much acid it could be considered a small lake across ‘Katsuki's last blast’ almost dead from dehydration, denki let out the most electricity he could that lit the field up in sparks, fire and sizzling acid, Minas acid practically acting as a bio gasoline, the event killing them both, the area now for ever infected with a deadly chemical weapon, all though it didn’t kill All For One it made him weak enough for Izuku to land the killing blow. He has a hard time remembering what he did he thinks he yelled, maybe screamed, as he saw it happen only a foot or two away from the edge of ‘Katsuki’s last blast’
Eijiro hardened himself to a bedrock that didn't allow him to move, this in turn not allowing All For One to move either, they died together by Izuku's final blow, a blast so powerful it blew everyone in the vicinity at least several miles away. He barely remembers his reaction, he thinks for sure that he screamed as he saw Eijiro stay in place.
Izuku was especially painful death as he’d come to know moments after the final blow to All For One was done was the last time he’d see one of his problem children smile. One for all had apparently given him the ability to live, as in the final battle experienced so many injuries that even if Recovery girl was still around wouldn't be able to fix, his problem child succumbed to his injuries as he held onto him. he told Izuku it was over, telling him to rest knowing it’d be the last time he saw his Izuku's sunshine smile he hadn’t had since All Mights and Katsuki’s deaths.
Hitoshi actually died a week after the war.
During Fumikage and Darkshadows combined rampage, Hitoshi had become severely wounded, losing both of his legs knee down. During the war they never had a truly steril environment so Hitoshi had endured many infections no matter what was done and even when he was able to go to the hospital he had been put into a coma.
He had hoped for Hitoshi to recover but he knew that even if Hitoshi survived he’d be miserable. He lost both his legs and it’d take several more years for the kid to even get a lisince even if he could fight as well as Miriko can with her own prosthetics because of new laws being put down.
The hero commission was being completely redone because of Keigo Tamkai, aka hawks, after the war ended. Hero schools were being forced to become universities so child soldiers could be avoided, even if they were still quite young if they finished college.
It was all for the best in the long run. Keigo had asked for his help with UA University's creation but he declined. He really couldn’t be around kids that could end up reminding him of his problem class. He just… couldn't, no matter how pathetic that sounded.
he instead just buried himself in helping running underground heroics again, just making the network more accessible and more effective then before really, as the war had made it very messy and all around more confusing than it already was.
After he helped remake society he was given a medal by Keigo in private, the guy was observant enough to know when another hated the media as much as Shouta, the medal didn't feel earned. He didn’t feel like he wasn’t even a pro hero, specifically the hero part, and more of a war vet.
…
Which he was but moving on,
He was kinda inspired by it in a weird way. He thought back to how there was a small unofficial memorial being created by ‘Katsukis last blast’ and he had looked back to the medal thinking
“they deserve more”
And so the final battle memorial was created. He was the main one creating it but he contacted every parent, or some sort of extended family member, of the kids that had survived the war and got their input of what would represent them the most.
It ended up being a large curved wall around ‘Katsuki' s last blast’ it was made of a mixture of concrete, Diorite and metal beams to secure it all together “. It was then engraved with memorial images of each kid, taken before the war, with a shiny embedded plate in the wall, a small list of everything they did to help, their age, things they had enjoyed, random tid-bits really.
There was another wall for the staff done like the first wall, even though there wasn’t as many casualties they still deserved their own place of respect and remembrance.
After all that was said and done… Shouta.. he’s just.. existing.
He doesn't .. do much. He just.. sleeps.
He sleeps a lot.
Sometimes he’ll just sleep for days, eat something, and then just… does more sleep.
He doesn’t really see the point in doing more.
All his friends and family are dead. He doesn't want to meet entirely new people who’ll just treat him like he’s glass for what he’s lost.. he’s seen Keigo look at him with pity at every interaction they’ve had.
Shouta doenst want to deal with people looking at him like that.
Shouta doenst want to put the effort into people anymore.
Shouta doenst want to do anything anymore.
Shouta just wants to sleep.
Because at this point it’s all exhausting and pointless.
..
…
….
So that's what he does, as he has been for months, he sleeps.
He sometimes just sleeps hoping he’ll stay asleep.
In the dreams where they’re okay, they’re all okay, Is when he sleeps the longest. He knows their dreams. But he can’t help relishing in the calm they bring him when in reality he's constantly battling the thought of just giving up eating as he had taken proper care of himself.
So that's what he's doing right now, laying in bed in a drab apartment instead of the dorm he had let Hizashi and Nemuri decorate, just barely awake shifting in the sheets slightly. He rolls over to look up at the ceiling rather than the beige wall he’d been staring at from his left side for hours on end. He counts the different lines he can see in the ceiling from a poorly painted roof once again that he had done a day before, there’s 17 big lines and 65 small lines by the way, sometimes he makes shapes but that usually just makes him depressed because it makes him think of his kids again….
He sighs as he just rolls over to his right side… a dark thought comes up…
…He doesn’t think he can do this
This being just… being around when they’re all gone.
He just.. cant
It’s… so tiring.
Shouta decides to stay in bed all day like he had done yesterday and the day before.
He closes his already half closed eye and just sleeps again… cause what else is there to do?…
As he falls back into a slumber he misses how a soft yellow glow flashes in the room,
Misses how someone had appeared into the room, floating down slowly to the ground. Their steps as light as a feather, not even creating a creaking sound as they landed,
Misses how the being in his bedroom skips over to him and gently places a hand onto his head and leans in close before whispering,
“Shouta Aiwaza, I am sorry for how you have suffered, I am sorry that you’ve been left to rot here, and I apologize for your loss. I am going to send you somewhere better and safer for you, thank you for all you’ve done here, rest easy knowing your work here is done, but not done somewhere else…,”
they trail off, a smile reaching their voice,
“After all,”
They paused,
“Your problem Children need you,”
In Shouta’s sleep he snuggles into the soft covers of a new place, entirely unaware of what the being had done for himself and another universe that needed him, even if they had never met him.