Work Text:
Late Night Talks
Samuel's study was perhaps his favorite room in the Oak family house. It had been a solarium at one point, full of windows that looked out over the ranch. The view of the lake and the forest beyond was positively stunning during the summer sunsets. The bookcases were full of all sorts of books and framed maps of the training routes of Johto and Kanto lined the walls — relics of Sam's own journey so many years earlier. A comfortable worn leather armchair facing the windows was his favorite nighttime haunt. Across from it, a warm couch was a favorite nighttime spot for several pokemon, and for one of Sam's favorite people: his grandson.
Gary's childhood was filled with nights spent in this very room: nights spent reading to him, nights spent watching the night sky through the telescope still next to the window, nights spent simultaneously peering through books in search of an answer to one of Gary's curiosities. These days the nights were less frequent — his boy was on his journey, after all — but whenever he visited home, the nights were still spent in Sam's study. The telescope was still used on occasion, though Gary usually worked on training plans while Sam read and sipped his tea.
What had once been a time so full of words was now a quiet occasion, peaceful with each of them going about their nighttime hobbies in comfortable proximity. Sometimes, however, these quiet nights turned into long conversations. Sooner or later, Gary always came to him when something weighed on his mind.
“I don’t think I want to be a trainer anymore. Not competitively.”
The comment seemed to come out of nowhere, but Sam knew better. Gary had been quieter than usual during this visit and not just because he was recovering from a migraine episode. Sam had seen the way he looked at the world with a thoughtful gaze: present, but more interested in his own thoughts than the common happenings around him. It had been on his mind the entire visit — likely the reason behind it.
Sam wasn't entirely sure what to make of the tentative declaration and, clearly, neither was Gary. Sam took a thoughtful sip of his tea. His grandson had just finished up at the Silver Conference and had taken his loss to Ash remarkably well, but if Gary was voicing this doubt now, then it had certainly been building for weeks, possibly months. There was only one thing Sam knew of that might have diminished his grandson's love for training.
“Is it because of what happened in Viridian City?” he ventured gently.
“No…" Gary shook his head, though he still didn't seem entirely certain. "I don’t think so." He was quiet for a long moment. "I don’t think there’s anything that made me feel like that, I just… do."
That was a relief of sorts. The events in Viridian had caused plenty enough damage — damage no child deserved.
"Well, it’s normal for paths to evolve along the way," Sam reasoned. "There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do something different. Did you have something else in mind?”
“Research.” Gary sounded much more certain with that, much to Sam's surprise and delight.
“Research?” Sam asked, unable to keep the excitement from his voice. How wonderful! But he couldn’t influence Gary's decision to take that path. It had to be his decision. Sam opted to keep the absolute delight out of his voice in favor of pleasant curiosity. “Is there anything in particular you were interested in?”
Gary gave a sheepish laugh and ducked his head. “Everything?”
Sam returned the laugh with one of his own. “That does sound like you, my boy. I'll support you no matter where your path takes you, but there's no rush to make a decision."
A confident grin appeared upon Gary's face, so familiar that all Sam could do was return it with a smile of his own and gesture for him to speak to his heart's content. No matter what Gary's future held, Sam hoped he would never stop coming to him when faced with large decisions.
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With Gary being in a a more distant region his visits were becoming rarer, though usually longer. In the mean time, Tracey became a reliable companion in the study. He frequently drew in the bay window, and he and Sam had no small amount of conversations about pokemon and travels. Though Tracey was a kind young man that Sam was quite fond of, he could never replace Gary's presence in the home. No one could.
Naturally, the evenings when Gary was home wound down in the study. Sam with his nighttime tea and book, Gary with a book or map or something to guide his journey, and sometimes Tracey with his sketchbook. Tonight, however, it was just Sam and Gary.
"I realized something while I was in Sinnoh…"
He hadn't been in Sinnoh terribly long, only a few short months, but he was clearly enamored with the region. Sam couldn't blame him. The mountains, the forests, the lakes… What wasn't there for an adventurous spirit like Gary to love?
Sam placed his bookmark between the pages of his book and gestured for Gary to continue. He had been quiet this whole visit again and Sam easily recognized all the signs of a weighed mind in his barely-teenage grandson. But Gary hesitated, keeping his gaze down on the book in his lap. He'd hardly read it all evening — Gary's eyes had been still on the page every time Sam glanced up and he had only heard the page turn twice.
This gave Sam pause. What could have him so nervous this time? He waited patiently for Gary to find his voice.
"You can tell me anything," he assured the boy when he stayed quiet for another long moment.
He hesitated a moment longer and Sam was beginning to worry about what could have possibly happened to him when he finally spoke.
"I realized that… I'm gay," Gary said, voice far quieter than usual, his eyes anywhere but on Sam.
He was just figuring this out now? Sam had known for ages and had simply assumed that the closet was nonexistent in his grandson's case. Apparently he had been wrong. It happened on occasion.
No matter. Relief flooded him all the same.
Sam offered his grandson a kind smile. "That seemed difficult to say," he observed gently. "Was it a difficult discovery?"
Gary shook his head, relief taking over his features. "No, it just kinda hit me one day." He shrugged his shoulders as though he were talking about a newly-found favorite food.
It was far preferred over the nerves and tension from just a moment earlier.
"I'm glad it wasn't difficult," Sam returned earnestly. "Thank you for telling me."
Conversations like this were the very reason Sam had spent so much time over the years making sure that his grandson was comfortable in this space. It was a space where confessions could be made and where fears could be soothed. Gary's trust in him was the most important thing in the world and he could only hope that he would never lose that trust.
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It was Sam's favorite sort of evening. A brisk fall day had turned into a cozy evening in the study with a fire crackling away in the fire place. He had traded his favorite tea for a mug of hot chocolate and the room was full of some of his favorite pokemon, including his old persian and Gary's umbreon and arcanine
His favorite teenager was sprawled across the couch with an outdoorsy sort of magazine that he had been absorbed in for much of the afternoon. The room had been far from quiet, however: Gary was in an exceptionally good mood and been quite the chatterbox. He had spent nearly an hour chattering about the biodiversity in a region he had recently visited with Professor Ivy — evidently Gary was eager to return to it one day. Before that it was surfing in Alola, and before that it was mountain climbing in Sinnoh. Next it would likely be camping in some exotic region with incredible pokemon.
Sam was rather amused. Where this boy got the energy, he had no idea, but at seventeen Gary was quite the adventurer. Sam was honestly rather surprised he was inside and not out wandering with Umbreon.
"You know that old Jeep?”
The question was sudden enough that Sam’s mind briefly went blank. “The one that your mother's rhyhorn charged?” he asked, baffled as to why Gary was bringing that old thing up.
“Yep.”
Gary's response seemed rather cheerful, Sam noted. “What about it?” he asked, perhaps more wary than was entirely necessary.
“Does it still run?”
“It should. The worst damage was to the door so the engine should be fine. Why?”
“I have an idea.”
“Tell me about it,” Sam invited. He placed his bookmark – a postcard from Gary’s most recent adventure in Paldea – between the pages and set his book aside.
"I want to use it in the field. It can handle the terrain and I can bring more equipment with me."
"Hopefully your idea isn't all work-related," Sam said mildly. Gary lived for field work: constantly being on the move, spending nights in the wilderness, exploring nonstop. Sam loved that he loved it so much. Still, he hoped there was a little more to this idea than just research.
"Well, yeah," Gary returned as though it were obvious. "It would be awesome for camping, and I could go surfing without having to hike to the shore. Plus, it'll be fun traveling with Ash."
Well, that came as little surprise.
"That does sound like fun," Sam said with a smile when Gary was finished speaking.
He thought briefly on it, trying his best to keep what had happened to the boy's parents from interfering with his thoughts. Gary was generally quite responsible and he had recently gotten his drivers license — the latter detail made him wonder just how long Gary had been planning for this very conversation. No doubt he had a folder on his laptop full of research and plans related to this very project.
"I don't see why not," he conceded. His curiosity won out and he couldn’t help but ask, "How long have you been planning this?"
"It's the reason I decided to get my license," Gary answered easily.
Sam wasn't surprised — his boy was always thinking five steps ahead, every action taken with purpose.
"Well, it'll need a tune up and some new tires. I want to make sure it's safe for the road before I give you the keys, so let's say you can have it after your next adventure," Sam offered.
Oh, how Gary's face lit up at that. "Really?"
"Really… Now then, what is the next adventure?"
"Me and Ash are going to the Orange Islands."
Ah. Ash again. He should have known. The boys had been traveling together so very much this last year… He and Delia were starting to wonder aloud when they would come home from an adventure and announce that they were a couple. It had to be any time now. Surely the boys understood their feelings by now.
Judging by Gary's smile, Sam was certain it would be after this adventure.
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Summer was preparing to fade into fall, but more was changing than just the seasons. Gary would soon enough be out of his teen years and would even sooner be starting university. Celadon University had an excellent biology program and his grandson had surprised them all when he had announced a music minor on top of the predictable biology degree. The only traveling he would be doing for much of the next four years would be between Celadon and Pallet — so very different from usual.
Sam was in his favorite armchair and Gary was situated on the couch, several papers surrounding him as he jotted down notes in a notebook. He looked very much as though he were weighing a difficult decision. Odd, considering their location — Gary usually never struggled with decisions in the study.
“What’s on your mind?” Sam asked curiously.
Gary set his pen down with a sigh and shook his head. “Just thinking about how much I’d rather be planning a trip with Ash than a class schedule.”
Not for the first time, Sam considered suggesting a different path. His grandson was brilliant and loved learning everything he could, but school had never quite agreed with him. He was headstrong and easily bored, but Sam couldn’t tell Gary not to go to university. He wanted a career that required it and Sam was sure he would succeed, but he doubted wholeheartedly that Gary would be happy doing it.
No, he fully expected his boy to be absolutely miserable throughout it all.
How else would a wanderer at heart feel about being cooped up in one place and forced to study?
"That sounds very much like you, my boy," Sam pointed out. "You'll still be able to do weekend camping trips."
"It's not the same."
"No," Sam agreed, "but it's temporary"
"Yeah," Gary sighed. "Let's just hope these four years go by fast."
They wouldn't. Sam already knew the days would drag on and time would move at a glacial pace until it was finally over with. Gary would be bored, miserable, and impatient for the final day to come the entire time.
But he couldn't tell him that. He wouldn't dare tell him that.
No, far better, far more important was to remind Gary of what was here when the days grew too long and the course work difficult.
"Just remember that you're always welcome here, even if it's by phone and just to complain about school."
It earned him a small smile, which was frankly more than he had expected. "Be careful telling me I'm allowed to complain about school," Gary returned wryly. "That's all you're gonna hear for the next four years."
"Oh, I hope not," Sam said, allowing a touch of reproach into his voice. "You'll be near Cerulean: think of all the surfing trips you could have with Misty!"
"I guess I could use weekend trips to Pallet as an excuse to stop by the rock climbing gym in Pewter…"
It was forced positivity — a reluctant agreement, though that smile would have fooled many. But Sam would take it. Gary was trying to convince himself more than Sam as it was.
"Remember," he began, gentle yet firm, "my study is here for you, even if you just need a break from everything."
"Thanks, Grandpa, but I'll be fine. How hard can it be?"
That confident smile would have fooled anyone other than Sam. Even Tracey and Delia would have fallen for it. He just hoped Gary would remember what he had said a few years from now when he was wading through dissertations and trying to keep it together through anatomy labs.
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Sam sank into his favorite armchair with a weary sigh. What a day it had been, and the day before had been just as difficult. University hadn't ended as well as everyone had anticipated and Gary…
Well, Sam couldn't recall ever seeing him so upset. But there had been relief in his eyes when they had returned home today and that told Sam they were on the right track.
Still, something didn't feel quite right when he raised his evening tea to his lips.
Gary had wanted to be alone when they had returned from the university that afternoon and Tracey and Ash had respected that, albeit reluctantly. Sam had respected it too but now the itch to check on his boy was setting in. He'd heard little noise from Gary's room all day — not that this was surprising. Gary was unwell: he'd been sick constantly all semester and he needed the rest.
Something told Sam that, despite the quiet, Gary wasn't getting much rest this evening. This was the time that Gary's brain was always most active and he was likely lying awake in bed, being consumed by every thought of failure that came to him. Sam hoped it wasn't the case but he knew Gary.
Sighing once more, he set his tea cup down on the table next to his chair and stood, making his way across the study. As he stepped into the hallway, he heard it: a soft melody drifting through the cracked door just down the hallway. The keyboard from Gary's dorm room. It was a good sign.
Taking a detour down to the kitchen, Sam took a few moments to prepare a second mug. He paused when he reached for the assortment of teas, frowning thoughtfully. There was a better option. Perhaps it was a bit childish for his twenty-one-year-old grandson, but Sam knew his boy — Gary wouldn't turn down hot chocolate. Sam reached instead for the tin of cocoa mix and measured a few heaping spoonfuls into the mug.
He headed back up the stairs and knocked gently on Gary's door. The music paused, interrupted by a sigh.
"I said I'm fine, Trace," Gary replied tiredly.
"I'm not Tracey," Sam returned, allowing a touch of amusement into his voice. The boys were so close and Tracey had done a terrible job at hiding his growing worry over the last few months. He pushed the door open and tilted his head towards the study, raising the mug in quiet invitation. "How about a change of scenery?"
There was that relief in his eyes again. It was as wonderful as it was painful to see. Beneath it, however, Gary was torn.
Sam was certain he knew what the concern was. "We don't have to talk about it," he assured the younger man. "I just thought you might like some hot chocolate and some company."
That seemed to do the trick. Gary nodded, the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corner of his mouth. He turned off the keyboard and stood from his desk, following Sam down the hallway and into the study. He sank into his usual spot and accepted the mug with a tiny "thanks."
Sam gave him a warm smile as he settled into his chair and reached for his tea. He had meant it when he'd said that they didn't need to talk about it, but he knew Gary had plenty on his mind and giving him the space to talk if he wanted to felt prudent. Inviting him in was important to Sam — it was a reminder that this space was here for him, an assurance that he wasn't disappointed or ashamed, and a promise that Gary was the most important thing here.
Gary was quiet for a long moment before heaving a sigh. "This sucks," he declared, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of the couch.
"I know it's not what you wanted," Sam returned gently. "It's alright to be upset."
"I know, but doesn't make it suck any less."
"No, of course not," he assured the younger man.
Nothing would take away the pain of being forced to let go of a career path that had been so certain up until recently. They both knew that's what this was. Gary wasn't just leaving school for the remainder of the semester and returning next school year. It was an understanding that hadn't been spoken, but Sam knew Gary bring it up when he was ready to face it — which he wasn't yet. They had only just packed up his dorm this morning after all.
"Remember I said this study was here for you, even if you just needed a break from everything," Sam reminded him. "Everything includes your mind. You're allowed to just sit and be quiet here, you know that."
Gary nodded, taking a sip from his mug. He was quiet for a long moment before… "Nothing's changed, huh?"
"It would take much more than a few failed classes to change this, Gary. I'm just glad you came home when you did."
"Yeah… What d'you know? I listened for once."
Sam chuckled and took another sip from his mug. "That you did," he agreed easily.
It didn't make the situation any easier for anybody, least of all Gary, but it was something. Gary would still be upset and exhausted until he recovered, but at least he was home and could rest as long as he needed. That was the most important thing to Sam. He just wanted his grandson back.
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Movement in the doorway was what caught Sam’s attention late one October night. Was it that late already? Or was it just Tracey passing by again?
When he looked up confirmed that it was indeed nearing midnight and in the doorway was none other than his grandson. A warm smile curved his lips.
“Welcome home,” he greeted, standing to make his way across the study.
What a difference six months had made. Gary looked so different from before his journey and Sam could only be thrilled with the change. He had been pale and quite thin when he'd packed his bag, eyes having only regained their determined gleam in the last few days. But he had since put on weight – muscle too, Sam noticed as he pulled Gary into a hug – and his skin was tanned, his hair longer and shaggier than Sam had seen it in a long while. He looked like one of the surfers from Calusa – more importantly, he looked like Gary. His smile was lazy and lopsided but genuine, and his eyes were bright and held mischief deep in their depths.
Oh, how Sam had missed him. He had missed him long before he had left for the marshes and beaches of Calusa.
“It seems that journey did the trick, hmm?” Sam asked, positively delighted to see his boy well again.
“Yeah, turns out you were right. As always.”
“What did you find? Other than a lot of sunshine,” Sam added with a pleasant smile.
“I know what I want to do.”
Excellent. Sam had hoped for exactly that. “And what's that?”
“I want to have a life in Pallet.”
That… was not what he had been expecting. “No research?”
“Nothing formal. I don’t want to deal with the bullshit.”
Always so blunt. Sam couldn’t blame him for his feelings. “You always preferred field work over academia.” There had been a time when Sam had felt similarly, until he carved out his own little niche in the academic community — but Gary’s interest in the formal academic side of things had always been lacking.
“I don’t want to do field work yet," Gary added.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to," Sam assured him. Not that anyone could truly force Gary to do something he didn't want to do, stubborn as he was. "What about travel?" he asked curiously. "A life in Pallet sounds awfully quiet for you.”
“Not with Ash.”
Now that was a valid point. Sam couldn’t quite hold back a chuckle. "No, I suppose not."
“I'm going with him to Alola in February, but I'm staying home until then."
It was only October and it was unheard of for Gary to stay in Pallet for that long. "That's a long time for you to be in one place," Sam observed mildly.
Gary grinned. "I didn't say I was spending it all in my bedroom," he returned, bringing a smile to Sam's face.
"Ah, yes. Winter camping is exactly the thing you boys would do, isn't it?"
He had never understood why they would pass up cozy beds and an indoor fireplace once the colder temperatures set in, but as long as they were happy — so long as Gary was happy — he supposed that didn't really matter.
All that mattered was his grandson's happiness and it seemed that journey on the other side of the world had been an excellent start.
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Sam looked up when he heard footsteps in the hallway, smiling when his grandson came into view in the doorway. It was rather surprising to see him this evening considering he'd been holed up in his room with a migraine all day. The last Sam had seen him, he had been curled up with Ash, sleeping off the worst of it.
“Ah, Gary. Feeling better?”
“Getting there,” he sighed. He ventured in and sat in his usual seat, sipping the tea that Ash had undoubtedly made.
Sam hummed sympathetically – the younger man still looked uncomfortable but nowhere near as miserable as he had looked a few hours earlier. It was a rather fast recovery, which told Sam that there had been a specific trigger – stress, likely – and that it had since been addressed. But it had been a long time since Gary had been stressed enough to trigger a migraine. What on earth would have caused it?
He didn’t have to wait long for Gary to divulge.
“Ash found a house.”
Ah. Change was always the biggest stressor for his grandson.
“Something tells me you’re not as excited about that as he is,” Sam observed.
“I want to be, but…” He trailed off, shaking his head pensively.
“It’s a big change.”
"It's a really big change." He looked stressed just admitting it, which made Sam wonder…
"How far away is the house?" Sam asked curiously. He had been under the impression that Ash had been searching nearby for their own place.
"A ten minute walk."
A pleasant surprise. Sam was certain he knew which little house on the outskirts of Pallet had caught Ash’s eye. "That's quite close," he replied, voice politely interested though neutral.
Why would it stress Gary so much if it was so close? A ten minute walk was a stone throw away, and Gary could cut that time to a fraction by utilizing one of his flying types.
But Gary stayed quiet. Clearly Sam would have to do a little pushing to get an answer.
"Is there a reason you're stressed if it's only ten minutes away?"
Gary’s gaze dropped down to his mug of tea and he was quiet for a long moment. Long enough that Sam wondered if he would need to attempt a different approach.
"I don’t want to lose this," Gary finally admitted quietly.
Their nighttime talks in the study? Sam knew they were important to Gary but hadn’t expected them to be the reason he would be hesitant to move out and get his own place with the man who would undoubtedly be his husband in just a few short years. If it even took that long.
Sam smiled. "You’re still welcome here any time something is on your mind, you know that."
"I know, it's just not the same."
"No, but it's not all that different either. It's just a little longer of a walk."
Gary was quiet for a moment. "I guess I'm just overreacting, aren't I?" he asked quietly.
Sam didn't agree with that in the slightest. "I'd hardly call this overreacting," he reasoned. "There's nothing wrong with not wanting something to change, and it's entirely normal to be stressed about a big change. And this is quite a large change."
Gary nodded and took a sip of his tea, accepting the response with ease.
"You'll always be welcome here," Sam continued with a smile, "whether you have something on your mind or you just want a quiet place to read."
"Or if Ash gets on my nerves," Gary added, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Sam chuckled and shook his head amusedly. He should have seen that one coming. "Or when Ash gets on your nerves," he amended.
Gary laughed in turn, though it was quieter than his usual laugh, telling Sam that there were still some anxieties left unsoothed. But he wasn't worried. Gary would work it out and if he couldn't, he'd talk it out when he was ready.
No matter what, their late night talks would always be some of Sam's most cherished moments with his grandson. He knew better than to believe they would be over once Gary moved out. His boy had always come back to him whenever something was on his mind — why would this be any different?