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Ian fucking hates the Milkovich house. If he could never step foot in it again, he would in a heartbeat.
The only reason he's here is for Mickey. He needed to get some clothes, and the few sex toys under his floor. Unfortunately, there seems to be an impromptu family reunion going on.
Ian knows Mickey has a lot of brothers, and he knows he’s the youngest of them all. But, he wasn’t prepared for how fucking mean they are.
They laugh and drink the entire time they’re in the house. Mickey is quick in packing up anything he can fit in his one bag, saying they could come back for everything else later.
There’s something frantic about Mickey’s energy, some primal terror. Honestly, Ian doesn’t blame him. If he grew up in this house, he would be scared to be here, too.
They’re almost at the door, when the biggest guy there speaks. Vaguely, he remembers being told about the eldest Milkovich brother—Joey.
"And where are you going, Mikhailo?"
Ian tenses at the same time Mickey flinches.
“S-Somewhere else. Alright?” The stutter is new, and out of character. The only person Mickey has ever cowered to his Terry.
“You’re just going to abandon your family? This isn’t like you, Mikhailo—“
"Stop fucking calling me that," Mickey says sharply. He immediately regrets it when all his brothers’s eyes snap to him.
Joey stares at him, something menacing behind his eyes. He's beat Mickey to a bloody pulp for drinking his juice. Blatant disrespect like that? He might kill him.
"I can call you whatever the fuck I want, Mikhailo," Joey spits.
Mickey flinches. He can't help it, he just expects a slap or a punch.
The guys around him burst into laughter. They call him a pussy and 'still as much of a crybaby as before'. Before being when he was a small, sensitive kid who wanted to live in his mother's arms.
He's not that kid anymore.
Mickey's face burns with embarrassment because Ian is right there. He's watching and hearing him get pushed around like a bitch by his big brothers. Ian must think he's pathetic.
"Hey!" Ian suddenly shouts. The guys quiet down and size him up. "He said not to fucking call him that."
God, if he could strangle Ian, he would. But, he'd miss his dick too much (and Ian himself, but don't tell him that).
Joey slowly stands to his full height. He's a few inches taller than Ian, and he absolutely towers over Mickey. If Terry is the monster under his bed, Joey has always been the monster in his closet.
"Joey, he didn't—" Mickey cuts himself off when Joey slams Ian against the wall.
"You gotta somethin' to say to me? Huh, bitch?"
Ian doesn't flinch, he holds steady. "I don't like how you guys treat Mickey. He's your baby-fucking-brother. You shouldn't be treating him like trash."
Any warmth that Mickey gets from Ian standing up for him runs cold when Joey pulls out his switch.
He presses the back of the blade against Ian's neck, just as a warning.
Mickey completely panics because Joey will do it. He's done it before when someone pissed him off enough, had the others cut up the body. The only reason Mickey isn't in pieces is because he's Joey's brother.
"Joey, don't! H-He didn't mean it okay? He was just fucking around!" His voice is high and desperate. He loves Ian so much and he knew he shouldn't have brought him here. Why does he always get them into shit—
"You want me to let him down?" Joey asks.
"Yes! Joey, c'mon, just put the knife away, okay?" Mickey all but pleads with him.
Ian opens his mouth, but the desperate look in Mickey's eyes has him shutting it again. He's never seen his boyfriend look so scared before.
"Ask me properly," Joey says. He flips the knife, just barely tracing the blade across Ian's throat.
Mickey chews his lip, looking between Joey, Ian, and the rest of his brothers.
Joey leans in, speaking quietly so only the three of them can hear. "Beg me properly."
Mickey flushes, humiliation sparking in his eyes. He whispers back anyway, "Joey, please.."
Ian's jaw drops. At first, he doesn't understand the exchange. Then, he realizes he's seen the hunger in Joey's eyes before. They look exactly like Terry's whenever he looks at Mandy. Dark and deranged.
He feels sick to his stomach.
Joey presses the knife harder against his throat, drawing droplets of blood. He almost pukes when Joey tells Mickey to say it louder. And Mickey does.
"Joey, please!"
The rest of the brothers snicker and whisper to each other like high schoolers.
Ian would be furious, but his anger is directed towards Joey, and how he's undressing Mickey with his eyes. Being fucking disgusting must run in the family.
When Joey finally releases him, Ian hugs Mickey tightly. He doesn't care about his brothers or whatever idiocy they think. Mickey is shaking, his eyes are shiny, and he needs a hug.
Mickey urges him towards the door, but Ian insists on him going first. He takes one last glace at his boyfriend's brothers. Joey's eyes are locked onto his little brother's ass.
Ian hurries them both out before he vomits.
They don't talk on the way home, but they do hold hands.
Mickey's are still shaking. He's too scared to even care if anyone sees.
The Gallaghers are gathering for dinner when they get back. Neither Ian nor Mickey can stomach any food right now, though.
When Lip goes to make a comment, Ian glares at him so fiercely he flinches.
He leads Mickey up to his room, helps him undress, and curls up in bed with him. He keeps Mickey pressed tightly to his chest. As if he's trying to squeeze the love into him.
It's actually Mickey that breaks the silence, and Ian's heart at the same time.
"Me and Joey never…he never went all the way, but..when I was little, he would…he would make me.." Mickey stumbles over his words, trying not to choke on his tears.
Ian rubs his back, shushing him. "You don't have to talk about it."
"I want to! I've..never told anybody, not even Mandy.. I want to..I just don't want you to be grossed out.."
"Too late for that," Ian says with a scowl. "That fuckhead Joey? He fucking disgusts me. The way he was looking at you made me want to puke."
Mickey closes his eyes tightly. "I think..now that I'm older, he wants to..I-I try not to be alone with him.."
It's horrible to admit. But, the way Joey looks at him and the comments he makes? They make Mickey so aware that Joey could hold him down easily, if he wanted to.
"You aren't going to be around that fucking creep at all anymore," Ian growls. "Never again."
Mickey finally breathes properly again. He knows Ian isn't lying. he said the same thing to Mandy and now, Terry will die before he comes near her again.
"It..started when I was six.." Mickey admits softly. Ian inhales sharply, but gives him the space to talk.
"He-He would..put me in his lap..grind on me, touch me a little..I didn't even understand what he was doing, back then. I was just a dum—a dumb kid.."
"When I got a bit bigger, he got bolder. Would lock us in my and Iggy's room..play with me, make me..y'know. H-He would.." Mickey chokes on his next words. "Joey would make me jack him off, mostly..once or twice he..forced me to put it in my mouth—"
Mickey cuts himself off with a sob. The damn bursts and he becomes a mess of tears.
Ian holds him so tight. He doesn't know how Ian can touch someone dirty and tainted like him. The stuff from his dad, his mom, his brothers, Joey—he's a fucked up mess of trauma. How could Ian love that?
Worse? Mickey believes him. He really believes Ian loves him. Why else would he waste his time on cracked china like him?
"He broke me, Ian.." Mickey whimpers. Ian shushes him, but Mickey pushes forward.
"They fucking broke me, Ian! My dad beatin' the shit outta me! Mom killin' herself! My brothers being high my whole childhood! Fucking—Joey acting like a fucking pedo! They broke me! Ian, I'm a broken thing!"
Ian just pulls him closer. He squeezes him so, so tight.
"I've got you, Baby.."
Mickey wails. A single, broken cry that dissolves into soft sobs into Ian's shirt. If it scares him, the redhead doesn't react. He just holds him. That's all Mickey needs.
When he wakes up, it's afternoon. The sun is high in the sky. His mouth is dry and his throat feels raw.
For a second, he thinks he and Ian must have fucked. But, then, he remembers everything that happened yesterday. So, his face is sticky with tears and not what he wants.
Mickey slowly sits up and look around. There's water on the nightstand that he happily chugs. There's clothes set out next to the cup, one of the articles being Ian's favorite blue sweater.
Mickey actually has a smile on his face as he showers and gets dressed. Ian's clothes are usually too big for him, but he absolutely swims in this particular sweater. It goes down to his mid thighs, and even rolling up the sleeves won't help you see his hands.
He trudges down the starts, bracing himself for the swarm of questions the Gallaghers will ask. He knows he cried loud enough for them to hear. Honestly? He just hopes they didn't hear anything about Joey.
The house is strangely empty when he gets downstairs.
"Hello? Anyone home?" He gets no reply.
He shrugs. The less people the better, in his opinion. He goes to raid the cereal cabinet, only to find pancakes on the table. There's a sticky note, no doubt written by Ian, that reads 'Enjoy ;)'.
Idiot, he thinks fondly.
They're banana, which is his favorite. Mickey loves when Ian listens to him. He's never met someone who cares what his favorite pancakes are.
He's putting his washed dish in the cabinet when the door opens again.
The Gallagher clan walks in. Ian and Lip are leading, both of them carrying duffle bags and backpacks.
Fiona, Carl, and Mandy are with them. They're all holding weapons—two metal bats and a tyre iron respectively. If Mickey didn't know better, he would think Fiona's bat had blood on it.
Finally, Debbie walks in holding Liam. She's talking to someone at the back of the group, encouraging them, maybe? She's talking too low for him to hear.
"Jesus, who's moving?" Mickey asks, gesturing to the bags. "And what the fuck are those bats for?"
Ian says nothing. He just sets down his bags and cups Mickey's face, pulling him into a deep kiss.
It's embarrassing in front of his family, but Mickey melts into it easily. He doesn't care if he looks ridiculous, pressed against his boyfriend and swimming in his clothes.
When they pull away, the others have spread out, but no one has left the living room.
Debbie finally manages to coax whoever she's talking to into the house. Mickey freezes when he sees Iggy and Colin. Instead of running or fighting, his first instinct is to look to Ian for protection. Can either call that pussy shit or character development.
Ian wraps an arm around his shoulders and squeezes.
"Mick.." Iggy starts, but he can't say anything more. Colin just looks away and chews his lip.
Mandy storms over and hugs Mickey tightly. There's a conflicted look on her face, anger and pain blending together.
"Woah! What the fuck is going on?"
"When were you going to tell me about Joey? Huh?" Mandy asks.
Mickey freezes. Of-fucking-course they heard. He practically screamed it last night.
"Y-You didn't trust me or-or what?" Mandy's voice breaks, betraying the guilt she feels.
"Mandy, don't do this…if I'm not allowed to feel guilty about you and Terry—"
"What about Mandy and Terry?" Iggy cuts him off to ask. Mickey shoots Mandy an apologetic look.
Mandy sighs, turning to their older brothers. "Ever since I really started filling out, like, fifteen, sixteen…Terry…he gets drunk and he thinks I'm mom."
Upon seeing the furious and mortified faces of their brothers, Mandy tries to backtrack.
"I-It's only once in a while, nothing to be—"
"Okay, so Terry dies. What about Joey?" Colin asks. Iggy nods in agreement next to him. Mickey imagines he's already planning—Iggy's always been the killer of the family. Besides Joey, of course.
Suddenly, all eyes turn on Mickey. Everyone's looking at him expectantly.
"What do you guys already know..?" Mickey asks hesitantly.
"We heard you yelling that Joey is a pedophile. Ian wouldn't elaborate on it, though. Just said we had to get your stuff and maybe kill a guy," Lip explains.
Mickey turns to Ian. "You're not going to jail for killing Joey!"
"No shit, we ain't gonna get caught," Iggy says. "Now tell us what he did."
"He…it's nothing. Not compared to Mandy." Said girl opens her mouth, but Mickey cuts her off. "He-He never put anything in me.."
"So putting his dick in your mouth doesn't count now?" Ian asks angrily, then immediately regrets it.
"Ian!" Mickey cries. He feels everyone's eyes widen around him. Both Fiona and Mandy let out gasps. Although, Mandy's sounds more like a sob.
Colin growls, "He did fucking what?"
"I-It wasn't that bad! O-Only once or twice.." Mickey stutters.
"What the fuck is it with you guys trying to downplay this shit!?" Lip yells. Ian winces, because he knows that comment is for him, too.
"When?" Iggy asks desperately. "Where? What else did he do?"
Mickey figets in place, dropping his gaze to the floor. "Our room..would lock the door. You were always too high to notice.."
"Oh my god.."
Ian looks at Mickey, grabbing his hand and squeezing. He doesn't want to push, but he needs these bastards to get what Joey put their brother through. What they put their brother through.
Mickey doesn't look up, but he squeezes back.
"The..The very first time he.." Mickey chokes around the words. Ian squeezes his hand again. "I was six the first time."
Mandy chokes on a sob, turning to Lip, who pulls her into a hug. Colin stands, frozen and dissociated. Iggy huffs out a wet breath.
"Why didn't you..? You had to have known.." Iggy stutters over his words.
"It's not like anyone ever told me that! You guys talking about fucking your girlfriends didn't exactly explain why my big brother was touching me or why it was wrong," Mickey spits.
"Mick—" Colin gets cut off.
"I did know..the very first time, that night..I tried to talk to you guys.."
Iggy collapses onto the couch, choking on his sob just as Mandy did. "Terry had just beat my ass for a run gone wrong..I snapped at you.."
"You told me to 'get fucking lost' and called me a bitch," Mickey says bluntly, but the quake in his voice gives him away.
"So, I never said anything again. Not when Joey would rub my thigh under the table, not when he took every chance to be alone with me in the house, not today when he eyed me up like I was a piece of fucking meat!" Mickey rants, getting progressively louder.
Mandy tears herself away from Lip to fling herself at her brother.
"Mickey.." She sobs out, burying her face in his shirt.
Mickey himself breaks once his sister does. He clings to her right back, sobbing almost hysterically. Years of pain, all bottled up, is finally spilling out.
Mickey once—in the quiet after a nightmare—told him about his mother. The girl was barely a teenager when she was pregnant with him.
The two Milkovichs that were most like their mother, both broken in the same way she was.
There's some terrible poetry to that.
Mickey's knees hit the floor with a crack. Mandy follows him, clinging tightly as they wail into each other's shoulders.
Ian and Lip follow them in sync. Shushing them and rubbing their backs. They both feel the same kind of helpless.
The other Milkoviches aren't doing much better.
Colin looks horrified. He's just staring into space, as if the news just knocked him out of his body.
Iggy—much like his younger siblings—is crying. His face is buried in his hands and his shoulders shaking.
Ian can’t imagine the guilt the two of them must be feeling.
All of a sudden, it’s like Colin re-enters his body. He scowls viciously—which is a terrifying expression on such a happy-go-lucky guy.
He stands sharply and reaches into the back of his baggy jacket. From seemingly nowhere, he pulls out a fucking machete.
“He’s fuckin’ dead.”
The Milkovich siblings all look up quickly.
“Colin—“ Mickey starts.
He’s cut off by Iggy getting up as well. The man wipes his face with the back of his sleeve and pulls a pistol from his waistband.
“Stay the fuck here.”
“Guys—“
“Mick. Stay here,” Colin orders.
Ian has been on the receiving end of that ‘big brother’ voice enough to know how it feels.
Still, he moves to wrap an arm around Mickey.
They all watch silently as the two Milkoviches storm out of the house. They all know someone is going to die.
The next few days are rough.
No one knows how to act around Mickey anymore. They flip from acting normal, to treating him like glass, to just being really awkward.
Mickey himself seems a bit out of it. Like he’s floating through life instead of living.
Ian has been trying his best to be there for him. He holds him tightly at night, and never leaves his side during the day.
Mickey’s brothers come over more often. Mandy checks in more, and she’s a shoulder Mickey leans on often. Lip reels his asshole-ness in, and every other Gallagher tries to show their support.
It takes time.
Slowly, Mickey gets that spark in his eye again.
He cracks jokes and makes sarcastic comments again.
He smiles, big and goofy and it just about makes Ian cry.
In the quiet of the night, he admits he misses Joey sometimes. Misses the attention, and how tender he could be when he was in a good mood.
In a house like that, you cling to any affection you can get.
“Mick..”
“Don’t start cryin’,” Mickey warns. “I know he was a piece of shit. Besides, I got you and..everyone else, now.”
Ian smiles wide, and plants a kiss on his head.
“You’ll always have me.”