Chapter Text
love
a(1)
: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
The first time Megumi ever experiences love, it’s from his parents. His mother makes it no secret just how much she loves him. She showers him in kisses, hugs, and cuddles every time she sees him and Megumi soaks it all up. She calls him her little blessing. Proclaims he’s the most precious thing in the world. And even if Megumi is only two, he knows that this is love. His mother isn’t shy with her love and has no problem screaming it from the rooftops.
His father wasn’t nearly as affectionate, not with his words; he keeps things close to his chest, and he’ll never say it more than once. But he would cuddle Megumi alongside his mom, or throw him up into the air, to his delight and his mother’s horror. Toji Fushiguro doesn’t give out broad statements of love, isn’t one for kisses and hugs, but Megumi knows he loves him by the hair ruffles, the small smiles, the belly tickles. If his mother’s love is like being wrapped in a warm blanket, his father’s love is the sturdiness of the walls of the house they live in.
Then his mom dies at the age of three, and the love doesn’t stop, but it changes. It’s still there, simmering under grief, stifled like a light has gone out. His father can’t stand to look at him, cuddles are far and between, and there are no more small smiles or any smiles at all. But the love is still there, in the nightlight placed in his room, the blankets tucked under his chin, waking up in a bed when Megumi remembers falling asleep on a couch, in the soft press of lips to his forehead in the dead of night.
Megumi learns how to not just receive love but to give it when Tsumiki and her mother come into the picture. They both love like his father. A quiet, gentle love that is not shown through words but through actions. And it is that love that Megumi adopts for himself. Years have passed since he had the loud, unrefined love of his mother; he no longer remembers what that kind of love is like. So he emulates his father, Tsumiki, and her mother. Tsumiki’s love is like the steadiness of a river, her mother, the lake it pours into. It is the first time Megumi chooses to love, but it won’t be the last. In watching documentaries together, in saving the last package of sweets, in whispering to each other in the dead of night, far after they should be asleep, Megumi shows his love for Tsumiki and her in return.
Tsumiki’s mother doesn’t stay with them for long, but she shows her love in mending his ripped clothes, in singing him a lullaby, and listening to his day. Megumi shows his love, by tea by her nightstand, in her pills organized for the week, in the flowers left at her headstone.
His father doesn’t ever smile again, but Megumi knows he is loved, that they are both loved. Toji Fushiguro will never acknowledge the nights he goes to bed hungry while his children are well fed, the pictures he carries of both of them on missions, in selling him to the Zenin clan with hopes his gift shall be cherished, and in his final moments, telling Gojo Satoru he has a son, as acts of love. But they are, it’s a quiet sacrificial love that Megumi will never be able to thank him for.
love
(3)
: affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
It takes some time for Megumi to realize Gojo loves them. Gojo isn’t like his mother showering him with hugs and kisses, nor is he like his father, silent in his acts of kindness and love. No Gojo’s love is chaotic is a performance of sorts. Elaborate trips and lavish gifts. Big gestures like taking in the son and daughter of the man who killed him.
Buying Tsumiki all the paint sets she could think of and Megumi all the books he can read. It’s fancy vacations and designer clothing. Gojo’s love is all a show, all for show, with the truth woven between gestures. A nonchalant shrug, while presenting a rare, sought-after gift.
Megumi grows to love him, too. He can’t return the favor with expensive gifts or trips, but he can help keep the house clean and use the money, admittedly, Gojo’s to buy him things he won’t think to buy for himself. The only way Megumi learns how to love is silently, so he does, in reminding Gojo to eat, in carrying around an extra pair of sunglasses or a blindfold, in indulging in Gojo’s antics with a small smile, because it makes him happy. In sitting next to him, when he refuses to get out of bed one day, and learning about a man named Geto Suguru.
love
(2)
: attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
Megumi has heard of Geto Suguru. Everyone in the Jujutsu world has heard of the curse user and defector Geto Suguru, but few people know of Suguru Geto, the man who broke Gojo Satoru’s heart. Megumi has never experienced love like that, the kind that keeps you thinking about them, even ten years later, the kind that makes you flinch when certain things remind you of them, the kind that keeps you up late at night wondering what could’ve been done differently, the kind that keeps you in bed on bad days unable to leave, the kind that makes you resent love in the first place calling it the most twisted curse of all.
Gojo Satoru is still deeply in love with Geto Suguru and wishes he weren’t. And considering how it all turned out, maybe Megumi shouldn’t be so fascinated, but he can’t help but wonder what it's like to love and to be loved like that.
It sounds equally terrifying and wonderful.
Megumi Fushiguro loves the idea of love, though he hides it well under his quiet demeanor. After all, it’s love that inspires him to keep going, it’s love that keeps him from giving up when Tsumiki enters the hospital, and it’s love that gives Gojo another reason to keep doing what he does. It’s love that brought him here, both to this plane of existence and to where he is now.
And though he’ll never admit it out loud, he cherishes every one of his loved ones. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, or love at first sight, or happily ever afters, but Megumi does believe in love. Love is what makes the world go round. Love for his fellow humans is what keeps him fighting curses, love for his sister keeps him searching for her cure, and love for Gojo allows Megumi to keep dealing with antics.
His parents define love as doing anything for their child, and Tsumiki defines love as giggles and sweets. Gojo defines love as sorrow and bitter regret.
Megumi defines love as…
Heartbreak
: crushing grief, anguish, or distress