Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Technoblade was on his way to collect wood when he heard an Enderman.

The noises sounded a bit off from that of a typical Enderman, so Techno chose to investigate. Perhaps find a new friend for the cabin? It's been a bit lonely without Edward.

What really caught Techno off guard was finding a slightly-shorter-than-average Enderman (still ridiculously tall, at least 6’8) standing in the middle of a clearing, wearing (ok, do you know the outfit Ranboo's Halloween v-tuber wears? that. He's wearing that.*Photo at the bottom*), holding a grass block, and looking around before carefully rearranging the scenery.

Techno crept forward and raised his axe to give a clean sweep, but it reared around and hissed before Techno even lifted the axe above his head. It teleported a few feet in front of Techno and stumbled slightly on an injured leg, but looked pissed. Techno took a startled intake of air but quickly adapted.

Enderman were typically defensive creatures, teleporting around and running away from threats. This one, however, seemed eager for a fight.

He quickly surveyed the land and turned in circles to face the lanky creature that was now circling him. There was a soft rumble coming from it, making Techno slightly on edge. Techno reached slowly to his pocket for his communicator, sending a quick message to Philza behind his back. Better be safe than sorry.

Technoblade >> Ph1lza: phol

Technoblade >> Ph1lza: phukza

Technoblade >> Ph1lza: bsckup in the forest, hostilr endermsn, might grt killwd

Technoblade >> Ph1lza: bring pktions pls

Techno had to hope that Phil would receive them quickly and hurry to help.

He honestly didn’t know how this would pan out.

He certainly didn’t expect it when the creature lunged forward and swiped at Techno’s forearm, drawing blood and leaving a gouge. Techno was completely astonished, not expecting the sudden attack as the Enderman leapt back to its original position. It stumbled slightly on its injured leg but didn't back down.

It snarled and unhinged its jaw to release a hiss, revealing rows and rows of sharp teeth with a long forked tongue. It closed its mouth and simply glared at a very taken aback Techno.

Usually, when he had to get physical with Enderman, they only screeched at him then teleported before he killed them. It seems as though this one wanted Techno to fight back, maybe actually try to earn the pearl this time.

Techno took this as an opportunity to take the next attack and raised forward with his shield up and axe ready to swing. The Enderman screeched and faced Techno head on. He slashed forward with his axe, aiming for the creature's side, only to be swiped off to the side and thrown to the ground. He quickly stood back up and looked into the eyes of a very peeved Enderman.

This seemed to irritate it slightly as it let out a low warning hiss.

Techno swooped in again, but this time he slid underneath the creature’s legs and swung his axe. It made a deep gash in its leg and it let out an ear-piercing screech. Techno quickly covered his ears and prayed that Phil would come before things got out of hand.

As if on cue, a massive silhouette of wings covered the clearing and landed with practiced perfection. A strong gust of wind could be felt as Phil tucked his wings back in and began to survey the predicament.

“Mate, what have you got yourself into now?” Phil called out, giving a sigh of exhaustion.

The Enderman glared at the new arrival, seeming to anticipate an attack at any moment.

“This bitch fought back and I want it for the cabin now. I am also bleeding and wish to get this done quickly.” Techno sighed dully.

“YOUR BLEEDING? WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT?” Phil shouted, attention averted from the Enderman.

The creature took its opportunity and leapt at Techno, landing on his shield as he just barely raised it in time. The Enderman began clawing at the shield, trying to reach Techno's flesh.

Techno was just barely fighting him off when the Enderman suddenly stopped and its eyes flickered from glaring purple to heterochromatic red and green. It looked down towards Techno with an unwritten fear in its eyes before turning back to purple with a quiet gasp.

Phil took this moment of confusion and flew a weakness potion at the stun locked Enderman. It reared back and stumbled away from the both of them with sluggish movements. It looked up at Phil with foggy purple eyes and a scared expression.

“So…you called me here for what exactly?” Phil asked, slowly drawing out another weakness potion from his belt, just in case.

“Look at it! It's got some weird lore, surely? Aren't you just a little interested?” Techno asked, gesturing towards the dazed creature.

“What do you want me to do about it? I mean, I’m fine keeping it, but how do you want me to help? This is obviously going to be harder than Edward ever was.” Phil pointed out, rather obviously.

“Just throw another weakness potion and we’ll go from there.” Techno replied gruffly, turning his attention back to the Enderman.

The Enderman unhinged its jaw and thrashed its tail in a menacing manner, letting out an inhuman scream and stretching out its claws to leap at Phil *think of velociraptors*. Phil was quicker though, as he threw down the second weakness potion and took a quick step back.

The Enderman reacted immediately, closing its mouth and backing up instantly. It only took a few seconds for it to fall forward, eyelids closed and soft, ragged breaths coming from its body.

“That was…easier. Then I expected.” Phil said, holding his breath for another attack. When no attack came, he went over to Techno to check for any major wounds.

Phil hissed a breath when he saw his arm. “What the hell did you do?!”

“I told you it had insane lore, and with great lore comes great responsibility” Techno huffed, eyeing the Enderman seemingly passed out on the ground.

“It won’t wake up for a looong time, if that's what you’re worried about.” Phil commented.

“How are we gonna bring it back to the cabin though?” Techno asked, now full attention resting on Phil.

“Carry it. That, however, is your job.” Phil chuckled dryly, reaching over to inspect Techno’s arm. He winced after a second glance though.

“On second thought, I can take it back.” Phil sucked in a breath and started walking over to the limp body.

He reached his hands out to grab it, but jumped back when the dangerous vibration of a growl was heard. Although it was unable to move, it seemed to be aware of Phil’s presence, and not very happy about it.

“On second-second thought, you want the Enderman, you carry the Enderman.” Phil said, sending a guilty smile over to where Techno was sitting on the ground.

“Just kick me while I’m down, why don’t ya’.” Techno grumbled, but got up and made his way to the Enderman.

As he reached to lift the Enderman up, another, more aggressive, growl was released into the air. Its tail started thrashing and a corner of its mouth was bared to reveal a few pointy teeth.

“Ah yes, so very scary. Keep trying that and see where it gets you.” Techno threatened, grabbing a hold of its body and throwing it over his shoulder.

The tail thrashing stopped but a deep growl and faint hisses could be heard. The Enderman couldn’t move, but it could still sound just as scary.

“Techno, are you sure this is the right choice to bring it back?” Phil asked hesitantly, “I mean, I’m all for lore but this just seems a little dangerous.”

“Please, Phil. Have a little faith. Besides, I gashed its leg bad enough to leave a wound that could never heal naturally, and I’m pretty sure the leg was already broken from how it had walked on it when we fought.” Techno reasoned, now realizing that he probably would have to fix that as well.

“Whatever you wanna do, mate. Just don’t come crying when it wakes up and kills you.” Phil sighed, tired of his old friends' schemes. He swears Techno only does these things to cause a problem.

So the two headed off back towards the cabin, leaving blood and footsteps in their wake. Phil attempted to cover their tracks but gave up at a point.

The Enderman growled the whole way, occasionally flicking his tail only to be threatened by The Blade again. Phil just followed behind, making sure nothing attacked them and acting as the GPS to get back home.

When they arrived back home, Techno placed the Enderman on top of the table to quickly take care of any injury. Besides the obviously-bleeding gash, it was only broken towards the ankle. Likely from a another mob or some form of trap. It was nothing that couldn’t heal within the next few weeks so he didn’t use many potions.

He only dabbed a subtle healing across before bandaging it all. The Enderman did not take any of this well and its claws would twitch like it wanted to fight yet simply couldn’t. At one point, it even whacked Phil in the face with its tail (Ranboo was proud of that one).

Phil wrapped up Techno’s arm and handed him a healing potion, as Enderman jaws can create bites that get easily infected.

They scooped up the creature from the table with a joint effort and placed it in a small area beneath a window in the living room. They put shackles on each wrist and one on the leg that wasn’t healing, hooking each one onto little rings on the floor. Techno didn't know just how violent it could be so he put a collar on it as well that could emit diluted potions of weakness to keep it calm if necessary. They considered a muzzle, but realized that was entirely unnecessary and a bit cruel.

When they put on each shackle, The Enderman persisted with its growling but seemed to accept fate. However, when Techno reached over to put the metal band around its neck, It totally freaked out and its tail lashed and the growl turned into nothing short of horrific.

When all was set and done, Phil placed a bowl of water and a shallow bowl of potato stew. He didn’t know when it last had a proper meal and didn’t need a hangry Enderman in his house.

<<<<--------------------------------------------------------->>>>

Ranboo awoke slowly and to the smell of crispy potatoes and sweets filling the air. He could hear talking from the other room and perked his ears but kept his eyes shut.

“What are you doing?” A heavily accented voice asked.

“I wanted brownies, but I wanted potatoes too.” A guilty sounding voice replied.

“IT'S 9AM?? WHY DO YOU NEED BROWNIES WITH POTATOES IN THEM?” The accented man yelled.

“I-...I wanted potatoes?” The non-accented guy seemed very adamant on potatoes needing to be there.

“Fine, as long as the Enderman can have it. It should be fully lucid soon.” The accented guy added, seeming to be referring to Ranboo.

Ranboo frowned at the idea of brownies with potatoes. He didn’t even know what a Brownie was and it sounded gross. Ranboo heard quiet footsteps approaching and instinctively froze.

“Hey, hey. We’re here to help, alright? Do you wanna eat? You’ve been out for at least three days.” The accented voice came back.

Ranboo internally cringed at the idea that he's been stuck here for three days, only able to hear the things around him and smell the food in front of him. His eyelids felt heavy but he lifted them slowly anyway.

Ranboo was met with two deep blue eyes and a shoulder length set of blonde hair.

Without warning, Ranboo’s mind decided to remind him of the last event he faced. He had stepped in a bear trap, breaking his leg but managing to get free. As comfort, he had started rearranging the blocks around him when he felt something behind him. He had lost the battle when a blond-haired-crow-hybrid had thrown potions at him and then dragged him to their home.

He lifted the edge of his lip and gave a warning growl to back up. He felt too sluggish to move his head so it stayed placed upon his arms like a cat, his left leg jutted out at an awkward angle from a splint but his right leg hung loosely near his torso.

“That’s all good, mate. I won’t come any closer. I just wanted to see how you were holding up.” The blonde gave a sideways smile and backed up a few inches.

Ranboo was satisfied and stopped the growl but kept his glare and thrashing tail. It was honestly all he could really do with his body betraying him so harshly.

“I don’t know your name, but my name is Philza and you can call me Phil. My friend in the kitchen is Technoblade, or Techno. Could I ask what your name is?” The blon- no. Phil. Phil asked, another grin plastered on his face.

Ranboo hissed and closed his eyes again in defiance, curling his tail to rest around his face. Phil chuckled slightly and stood up back to the kitchen. Ranboo, seeing no other option, let the sluggishness of his body overcome his senses and drag him back into a dreamless state of sleep.

<<<<----------------- (a few hours later - about 6hrs)----------------->>>>

“I brought foood!!” Phil sang the last word as he walked over to a drowsy Ranboo. As soon as Phil was in sight, Ranboo unhinged his jaw and hissed at Phil. Phil completely stepped back, furrowing his brow and looking at Ranboo’s glare. Ranboo shut his mouth and put down his heavy head but left his tail to hit everything in reach and maintain the glare he had.

Phil was not phased in the slightest but he was a little perplexed. It seems the conversation from before was only pleasant because he was still heavily under the influence of potions.

Phil brought out a tiny device and clicked a button. Immediately, fumes of weakness potions filled Ranboo’s lungs. He tried to growl but it was no use as his head felt foggy and he was forced to close his heavy eyes again. He heard Phil approaching and gave another warning growl but it didn’t seem to matter. A soft clang was heard and the footsteps disappeared.

Ranboo was quickly able to shrug off the potion and turned towards a dish that had chunks of potato and carrots. It looked to be a kind of beef chili with a load of vegetables. Ranboo stood up like a cat on all fours and sniffed at the food. When he tried to poke at it, his hand was pulled back by the metal cuffed around his claws. He let out a low hiss and dropped his head to lick it instead. It didn’t taste poisoned. Good enough confirmation for him! He greedily lapped up the chili and gulped down the bowl of water that was near the shallow plate.

He looked around to survey the room when his eyes landed on two inhabitants staring at him from the corner. As soon as he saw the red and blue eyes resting upon him, he unhinged his jaw to screech and thrashed his tail as a warning that if they dare get closer, bad things would happen.

Techno raised a hand to show the remote from before and wiggled it with a smirk. Ranboo maintained his glare but closed his mouth. The threat never left his throat and his tail never stopped its dance of death.

Techno walked closer to Ranboo and held the remote in one hand, finger hovering over the on button. He stood just out of reach from Ranboo’s jaws and held up the remote as a threat. Techno then reached over to the bookshelf that Ranboo could reach if he really strained, grabbed a hefty book with a muddy red cover, and then slowly turned his back to Ranboo and went back to Phil.

Phil stood in awe of how daring Techno was to just be in Ranboo’s face and Techno was just hoping his arm wouldn’t get ripped off if he grabbed his favorite myth book.

The whole time Ranboo had stood frozen, only deepening the growl when Techno reached for the book but kept his eyes on the remote the whole interaction.

Ranboo straightened up from his crouched threat and took one last glance at the doorway. His tail swooshed when he noticed Phil was gone but Techno was seated in an arm chair near the fireplace. His back was facing the fire and his front was facing Ranboo.

Ranboo laid back down in a tight ball but left his leg to jut out and remain in a more comfortable position. This left him open and vulnerable, but he knew they probably wouldn’t touch the wound they already helped heal.

Techno kept a close eye on the Enderman as he read, being sure to appear as if he was reading. He watched as it curled into a ball but left its hurt leg to sit out and wrapped its tail around it.

If he was honest, he thought he was going to have to learn how to fight with one arm but it seems the Enderman was more scared of the potion than they had anticipated.
He watched as the hard, panicked breaths turned into soft exhales and quiet clicks. Techno returned to his book and read well into the night before retreating to bed.

<<<<------------------------------------------------------------------------>>>>

Ranboo woke up smelling potatoes again, but this time it was paired with eggs. This seemed like a much more reasonable food combo than whatever brownies were. Ranboo was too busy sniffing out the scents that he didn’t notice a specific blonde man steadily approaching with fresh bandages secured in his hand.

“Hey, mate. We, uh…We gotta change out the bandages…” Phil calmly instructed, slowly inching forward.

Techno stood to the side, clutching the control panel to the collar just in case things got violent. Ranboo opened his eyes into slits and his tail began to swoosh dangerously behind him the closer Phil got.

When Ranboo began to growl a deep tune, Techno cleared his throat and raised his equipped hand slightly. Ranboo turned off the running lawn mower in his throat and stood back on all fours, hissing the closer Phil got. He was careful not to put pressure on his left leg and hovered it above the ground. Phil kept coming closer and he was about to touch the very sensitive teenager when Ranboo couldn’t hold back and swiped at Phil.

Blood immediately started dripping from a shallow cut on his forearm but Phil hardly backed away. He simply took a few steps back and held his hands out in a calming gesture. Ranboo’s eyes flashed repeatedly from purple to mismatched red and green. It was almost like a different consciousness was trying to take over.

Phil didn’t comment on the whimpers and whines that escaped instead of the growl Ranboo wanted to give. He just continued to walk around Ranboo, positioning himself between Ran and the wall. Ranboo was nearly cornered between Phil and Techno but didn’t panic, realizing they probably wouldn’t touch anything they didn’t need to.

Phil held his hand out and hummed a small tune, silently communicating that Ran needed to offer his leg. He slowly placed his fragile shin onto Phil's outstretched hand and flinched when it made contact, only to place it down again. Phil seemed happy with this and gave a wide smile.

Techno stood silently, observing for any signs of aggression. When he saw nothing, only heterochromatic eyes shifted occasionally to purple for a brief moment, he decided nothing bad could really happen and relaxed for the moment.

Phil made quick work of removing the bloody bandages and inspected the healing.

As Phil adjusted his hold to grab the clean tissues, a yelp sounded throughout the cabin as Ranboo scurried back and pressed himself to the floor, licking the blood away gingerly from the wound like an animal. Phil had forgotten how tender it might feel and genuinely felt really bad.

Phil reached forward to try comforting Ranboo but he only backed away as far as he could (considering the shackles didn’t give much room to move freely) and whined from deep in his throat.

“I'm sorry, I know how bad it must feel. I apologize for hurting you, but I truly am just trying to make you feel better.” Phil explained gently, using one of the softest voices Techno had ever heard on the man.

Ran didn’t know how much trust he could really put into this, but his leg ached and he wanted to go back to bed. When Phil reached out a second time, Ranboo only whined but offered his leg none the less. It honestly didn’t take very long before Phil was quickly getting up and moving away after rearranging the splint and changing out the dripping and bloodied bandages.

Techno walked over and Ranboo tensed, eyes turning back to purple and half closing into slits. Techno simply held out his hand in front of Ranboo and offered half of a raw potato. It seems like a strange gesture, but it would mean good progress if Techno still had a hand afterward.

Ranboo took a few small steps towards the raw vegetable and gave it a sniff. He wrinkled his nose and stepped away. He laid down with his head resting on his arms and his legs curled beneath him. He closed his eyes and let out a small huff of air before drifting off, not feeling the need to check where Techno was or if he even left the room.

Ranboo spent the next several days sleeping, growling at anyone too close, and occasionally having to change the bandages covering the wound. The lash outs were much less frequent but his eyes remained purple.

He only made Phil bleed one other time and it was because he had reached over to pat Ranboo’s head after changing the bandages. Phil thought they may have grown close enough but he was very wrong, as Ranboo did not want to be touched at that moment any more than necessary. It was technically Phil’s fault, but Ran still felt kinda bad.

All in all, good progress was made but they still didn’t know Ranboo’s name. Kind of funny if you think about it. Ranboo hasn’t spoken in a long time, and their vocal cords don’t work how they should. Instead of fluent Ender or English, it all comes out heavy and static.

Trying to talk usually ends in coughing fits and horrible pain so Ranboo chooses not to, but that doesn’t mean he can’t.

“R⏃nb⍜⍜.” a staticy voice from the corner whispered. Techno whipped his head up from his book and looked at the Enderman.

“Did you just…what?” Techno furrowed his brow and stared at the teenager.

“R⏃nbo⍜.” This time the Enderman raised his head and stared at Techno, almost like a challenge.

“...Is that, like, a type of food you want? ‘Cause we don’t have it. Come to think of it, I didn’t even think you could talk.” Techno raised an eyebrow and sighed.
Ranboo gave a disappointed huff and laid his head back down. Techno was even more confused than before, and got up to go ask Phil.

“Yo, Phil, did you know it could speak? I coulda’ sworn that didn’t happen before.” Techno asked nonchalantly, eyeing the hot chocolate Phil was pouring.

“It spoke? What did it even say?” Phil asked, wide eyed.

“Kinda sounded like ‘rainbow’ or ‘ranbow’” Techno shrugged his shoulders slightly.

Phil grabbed the newly poured beverage (the drink was for Ran) and headed over to Ranboo.

“You wanna repeat what you said to Tech?” Phil gently asked, prompting Ranboo to speak again.

Ranboo was a bit fed up at this point and grumbled out through half closed eyes, “R⏃n⏚o⍜.” The message was even worse to decode because Ranboo’s throat was going raw but he still wanted to tell them his name so they stopped calling him ‘it’.

“Mate, I have no idea what you just said. Is that your name or something?” Phil inquired, really wanting to understand.

Ranboo lifted his head again and nodded, meeting Phil’s eyes with an unreadable expression.

“Ran⏚o-” Ran tried to say his name, but his throat gave out and he was sent into a spurt of raw coughs, dry hacks making themselves known. Phil rushed to his side and moved to try rubbing circles in his back but Ranboo flinched so violently he was sent into another rack of coughs. Ranboo couldn’t breath and was trying to suck in air but his lungs rejected it almost immediately.

Techno and Phil watched helplessly as Ranboo suffered through his coughing for a few minutes. Eventually, everything stopped and only a few painful and raspy breaths could be heard with Phil’s reassurance. Tears of pain were streaking down his face as he sat there, trying hard not to irritate his throat with sounds.

Phil reached out again, hovering his hand above Ranboo’s back in a silent question. Ranboo shook his head slightly and another cough broke from his mouth. Phil hesitantly dropped his hand and backed away. He placed the previously discarded beverage in front of Ranboo and walked upstairs.

Whether Techno wanted to admit it or not, he was concerned for Ranboo. That coughing didn’t sound gentle and he was sure breathing was hell right now. Now that they knew his name, using ‘it’ pronouns felt wrong. Techno opted for male pronouns just until he learned the right ones.

Techno felt bad walking away so he grabbed a book he had yet to finish, and sat down beside Ranboo. He knew he sat too close when he heard a soft grumble come from beside him. Against his better judgement, he looked towards Ranboo and quirked an eyebrow, “What’re you gonna do about it, huh?”

Ranboo glared at Techno for a moment before closing his eyes and curling up. Now, usually Techno is not one to cross boundaries. He knows how horrible it feels when someone is too close but he knew Ranboo wasn’t going to make progress on his own and honestly, he was a little curious. So, against everything he stands for, Techno scooted right next to Ranboo.

They were inches away and if Ranboo wanted to touch, he could easily reach out and do so.

Ranboo peaked an eye open and looked at Techno’s shenanigans. In all fairness, his lap looked really comfy and Ranboo was really touch starved. Ranboo might have also been a bit woozy from the coughing, but that is besides the point!

Against every raging instinct inside of him, Ranboo scooted next to Techno and had his back pressed against Techno's leg.

To say Techno was surprised, is an understatement.

He was absolutely baffled.

Now imagine his face, when a 6’7 lizard-thing decides to crawl in his lap and sit there like it was built for him.

Surprisingly enough, it actually worked and was very comfortable. Ranboo still curled himself into a ball, but now he was on top of Techno’s crossed legs and a quiet purr was coming from his throat.

Techno sat rigid longer than he should have, which was made apparent by a small glare coming from Ranboo. Techno stared back with a dumbfounded expression. Ranboo exhaled a small hiss and snuggled deeper into Techno's lap. Techno had a very sudden realization and his next move will either be his stupidest or his best.

Without leaving enough time to really think through his actions, Techno clicked a small button on the remote and at once all the chains that were once keeping Ranboo contained were now loose and fallen.

Ranboo looked up for a moment, seeming to comprehend the new situation. Instead of trying to kill him, as Techno expected, Ranboo simply clawed the collar off and snuggled right back into his lap.

What an interesting day this was indeed.

Chapter Text

If Ranboo told you he was comfy, you heard nothing. He was absolutely not clinging onto his pink-haired capture like a lifeline. Shut up and mind your business. Techno was unnecessarily comfy for someone he should hate though, so really who's the problem here?

“You gotta move eventually, it's been like- four hours,” Techno released a small chuff.

As if.

Ranboo simply purred contently and snuggled deeper onto Techno’s legs.

One might call this Catboo behavior.

“Aren’t you hungry or something?” Techno looked down, exasperated at the creature upon him.

Ranboo responded in the completely right way, which was to nuzzle his face against Techno’s hand, wait for him to move his hand, then make him give head scratches. Techno gave a small sigh but obliged and began scratching at Ranboo’s ears. Ranboo let out a little involuntary chitter and continued his purr. One might call this cute, if not for the fact that Techno had things to do.

It was at that moment that Phil finally walked into the room. He stood stock-still for a solid five seconds, then walked into the kitchen as if he hadn’t seen anything at all.

Techno released a heavy breath from beneath Ranboo but continued scratching just behind his ears.

“You tried saying your name earlier, yeah?” Ranboo gave a single huff in response, not really in the mood for conversation.

“Ranboo, was it?” Ranboo snapped his head up at the mention of his name and gave a plethora of happy clicks in response, pupils dilated so far that his entire eyes were almost fully black.

Techno gave another chuff and patted Ranboo’s head gently. Ranboo laid his head down again and purred gently, a subtle vibration to the air.

Techno didn’t know what he was doing. Sure, he now had Ranboos' trust but he had no idea where to go from there.

Phil walked back in the room with a small smirk that made Techno roll his eyes. Phil didn’t say anything but instead gave a small chuckle and moved to turn away, but not before whispering a small, “Dadnoblade” and going back into the kitchen.

“Bruuhhh, that is criminal." Techno let out yet another exasperated sigh and turned to look back at a very content Ranboo, "As much as I love an overgrown lizard in my lap-" Ranboo gave a small hiss, which he chose to ignore, "-how do I get him off of me? I got shit to do, Phil."

"Have you considered giving them something? Enderman like to hold blocks, maybe you can bribe the little shit." Phil gave a small laugh at the end as he yelled from the other room.

That was-...

Not a bad idea.

Reaching into his pocket for his communicator, much to the displeasure of Ranboo, Techno sent a quick message to Niki.

Technoblade >> Nihachu: Bring something shiny, effective immediately.

Nihachu >> Technoblade: you at home or syndicate?

Technoblade >> Nihachu: Home. Must appease an Enderman.

Nihachu >> Technoblade: ???

Technoblade >> Nihachu: I'll explain later. Please hurry, I can't feel my legs.

Nihachu >> Technoblade: Are you dying??

Nihachu >> Technoblade: Hello? Techno???

Nihachu >> Technoblade: Technoblade I swear to God. What did you do.

Technoblade >> Nihachu: Suddenly, I fear your wrath more than the Enderman.

Nihachu >> Technoblade: Good. You better have an explanation when I get there.

Now all that was left to do was wait. God, this was gonna take a while.

<<----------------------------------------->>

Niki quickly hustled through the door with a satchel held tightly across her body. Techno probably did something stupid and almost got himself murdered again. The syndicate was lucky as hell to have her. At least she knocked some sense into them before they did something stupid. How they lived for thousands of years on end is a mystery to everyone, even them.

Men.

Typical.

"Hey Niki, Tech's over by the window." Phil turned to face Niki with a sly smile, holding a mug of something hot and a mischievous look.

"Thanks." Niki quickly made her way to the living room, and paused at what she witnessed.

There, sitting on the floor, was Techno. He looked lost, like he had never experienced life before. Sitting atop the retired man's lap was none other than an Enderman, split black and white down the middle, resting like life would pause just for them.

Niki-...

She didn't know what she expected, but it was not this.

"So...what did you do?" Niki rocked slightly on her feet, trying to laugh at the exasperated man before her.

"Bruh he won't leavveee," Techno started whining, "every time I ask he just gets more comfortable. HOW DOES HE GET MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THIS?"

Phil began cackling from the other room and started doubling over. Niki started giggling at Techno's struggle which only made him more upset.

"What will they say about my reputation now? Phil, I'm ruined." Techno deadpanned over to Phil, who only managed to laugh even harder at the predicament.

"You did this to yourself, mate." Phil said between laughs. He wiped an invisible tear and turned back to Niki, "mind helping him out quick?" Niki gave a reassuring smile and made her way over to a very curious-looking Enderman.

Techno subtly moved a hand to rest on their back in case things went south, and Niki slowly reached a hand out with a small smile to say I'm not a threat, only a friend.

<<----------------------------------------->>

Ranboo liked her.

Whoever the pink lady was, smelled like salt water and sugarcane; it's a combo that shouldn't work, but does. She was also much shorter than everyone else, which subconsciously made Ranboo much calmer with her presence. The smaller the person, the less of a likely threat. She seemed just as fed up with everything as he was, which made his pearl vibrate with satisfaction.

When she reached her hand, Ranboo didn't waste a single fucking second and immediately nuzzled his head against her palm (think of a cat). She released a sweet bubbly laugh that had Ranboo purring way louder than they should be.

Pink lady pulled away and stood back up from her crouched position and moved a little farther away. Ranboo whined at the loss and ached to follow her but Techno was really comfortable.

Eh. You win some and you lose some.

Ranboo hobbled off of Techno on all fours and ran back up to Pink lady who was searching in the pouch on her waist for something. Didn't really matter, as long as he got attention.

"Hold on a second! Impatient, are we?" Pink lady pulled out a shiny looking potion bottle (yes, he knows what a potion is. He's oblivious, not dumb) and showed it to him for a second.

"Look! Shiny! Now...go get the bottle!" Pink lady (Niki. Her name was Niki and they knew that.) lightly tossed the bottle over onto a section of the couch and Ranboo just sat there for a minute.

Now, Ranboo is not a dog. Never will be, never has been.

However.

Niki is very nice, and a verymuchsoincrediblysmallanddefinitleynotlarge part of him really wanted to go get the glass thing.

"Don't you...want it?" Niki bent down a little and tilted her head.

Techno, having immediately left the floor when he could, just looked at her with raised eyebrows, "Their not a dog, you're gonna hav-" Techno was immediately cut off by Ranboo leaping forward and absolutely pummeling into the couch and grabbing the bottle. He latched onto the glass and curled in a ball, the shiny sitting right in their hands.

"...I stand corrected." Techno gave a half hearted glare and turned to walk away, but Ranboo did not like this.

He wanted his bed back.

What does one do when they want the shiny but also want to go back the really good dream they were having?

Ranboo raced over to where Techno was standing and tackled him to the floor on his back.

"AH- FUCK THAT HURT," Ranboo laid directly on top of him like a mattress and snuggled onto his chest. Did he know anything about these people? No. Did they value their safety? Also No. Truly, Ranboo has nothing to lose at this point.

Fun.

"Ranboo. I love that you are comfortable, BUT YOU COULD LET ME GET UP FOR FIVE SECONDS JESUS CHRIST-" Techno yelled out in aggravation as Ranboo started purring again, surrounded by nice people.

"Their name's Ranboo? That would have been nice to know earlier." Niki grumbled, shooting a stern look at Techno, then Phil a second later.

Ranboo gave a smug side eye, and his eyes were a heterochromatic green and red. Techno was about five seconds from beating the shit out of something when a jingling could be heard. Techno was starting to notice the eye shifting, a mood change always following. He looked up to find a very hyper-aware (purple eyed) Ranboo staring at a slightly nervous Phil. 

"Phil..." Niki tried to warn, but Phil was determined to get Ranboo to move.

Ranboo sprung forward, knocking down Phil and started clawing at the jangling thing, consequently drawing blood from Phil in long scratches. Niki is quick to react, going to grab at them. She tried to warn him but nooooo, he just had to provoke the very feral Enderman that he's housing.

Ranboo successfully obtained the jingling thing and decided he felt a bit bad for hurting Phil. Ranboo didn't want to hurt those around him, they were just scared of being hurt. It was a hard balance, and he already had a tough time with trusting people. Everything was hard and it made their head hurt to think about. Everyone should just always be nice, that way he can choose who deserves him.

Techno seems nice, he hasn't outright hurt Ranboo unless you count the collar, but it seems more and more reasonable the more he thinks about it. They had been a bit hostile so it was only fair. This DOES NOT mean they liked it, they would rather die, but it was a valid response. All of this taken into account, and not to mention how fucking comfortable he was to lay on, he didn't seem so bad! Solid 8/10.

Phil...was ok. He hadn't done much in terms of harming Ranboo, but he didn't help either. He provided the food, which was nice, and he had re-bandaged his leg numerous times, but he still hadn't proved himself. He hadn't necessarily assisted in anything negative, yet he hadn't done anything overly positive. However, he hadn't yelled at Ranboo yet for accidentally (or intentionally, you'll never know) hurting him, so a hefty 5/10 for blonde-accent-man.

Niki didn't even have to do anything and Ranboo would take numerous bullets for her. She gave them things, she was just as fed up, if not more, with the guys, and she smelled nice! It reminded him of his old home, filled with moss and with a small puddle of ever-flowing water in the back. They missed home. Anyway, Niki is amazing! She has nice colors adorning her figure, she is shorter than most, and she has a very nice voice. There isn't a single thing she could do that Ranboo wouldn't condone.