Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

„A-Ant…“ Spamton mumbled in his sleep, tossing and turning and reaching out to something that wasn’t there. The only moments of peace he‘d get, in not so recent years. In his sleep, he was still blissfully united with the monster that conquered his heart, the one creature in the world that Spamton felt genuine adoration for.

In his dreams, he could feel the four arms encircling him in a warm embrace, listen to the comforting trilling and feel those antennae brush against his hair and skin in a display of affection.

„Don’t go…“ His words slurred, his attempt at grasping at the monster resulting in him holding onto nothing but air as his husband was whisked away from him; thanks to some fucking war that forced all of them to be banished to the underground, never to be seen again.

With a choked up gasp, his eyes snapped open, blindly pawing around the mattress, only to realize like nearly every day that Ant was gone. It‘d just been a dream.

Again.

Spamton was so tired. He wasn‘t sure how much longer he could handle this. Slowly, reluctantly, he sat up, taking in the sight of the empty bed, too big for one average height human.

He had never considered himself particularly nimble or crafty with his hands, but the desire to have his partner sleep comfortably next to him, in the same bed, was strong enough for him to get creative and build a bedframe that could easily carry both him and Ant. It now has the unfortunate consequence that, without the presence of the larger than life monster, it felt so cold and empty, no matter how many blankets he wrapped around himself.

They just didn’t compare to the warmth and presence of Ant.

With a tired groan, he pushed himself out of bed, padding along the messy bedroom to get dressed and have a small bite to eat.

It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. Ant had never done anything, he only ever wanted to entertain the people, enjoy a happy peaceful life with the people in town; With Spamton by his side. He‘d played all day with the kids, even venturing out to find any lost ones that ran too far from town, no matter how late or dark it was. For a while, he was the town's favorite babysitter, adored by the small community.

Those kids were now adults, and the once young, spry and sleazy Spamton was a middle-aged, grouchy and miserable shell of his former self. The residential grump that everyone avoided, as he was lovingly called by those very same kids-now adults that used to love getting piggy back rides from Ant and would call him ‚Uncle Spam‘.

It was almost ridiculous how quickly they‘d turned on Ant, who had only ever wanted to belong, to be loved and to make the people around him happy. They‘d taken that from him, and he’d forever hold that against them.

As Spamton put on his red turtleneck and black jacket, he thought back to how they had dragged Ant out of their shared home back then. He shivered, recalling the way Ant struggled, cried and pleaded for them to please reconsider while Spamton frantically attempted to pull against what had to be 20 townspeople. A bitter scowl took over his face at the memory.

Spamton had tried to hide Ant away in the basement, to insist that his husband had already left before sunrise to join his kind in the war. He hadn’t cared if it made him a traitor to humankind. If they couldn’t understand the love he felt for that bug, then they weren‘t worth aligning with, even if their souls were turned the same way.

For a few nerve-wracking, miserable days, this strategy had worked, albeit barely. Barely scooting by the watchful eye of these good-for-nothing backstabbers, all so he could keep his beloved husband at his side.

A dire but manageable situation, if it meant he could keep Ant right by him, till death do them part. He‘d tried so hard, and Ant himself had been such an angel during this time, not making a peep and quietly munching on any greens that Spamton could manage to sneak him, no matter how old or dry they were. It‘d been so difficult to gather fresh leaves under the scrutiny of his so-called peers.

It was only a matter of time when they were caught, and the future they envisioned together was ripped away from them.

In his humble opinion, these people were the true monsters.

In a fit of rage, Spamton grabbed the nearest object he could and hurled it against the wall with a yell, the picture frame cracking upon impact.

He choked on a sob, curses flying from his mouth as he fell on his knees next to the picture of him and Ant. Carefully, he scooped it out of the broken glass, running his hand along the faded Polaroid.

There they were, young and happy, unaware of the horrors they would soon be faced with. Just sitting under a nice shady tree, on a picnic blanket and enjoying a surprisingly warm and sunny autumn day with a picnic. Two of Ant‘s four arms were wrapped around Spamton, keeping him as close as possible.

Many of Spamton‘s memories had faded over time, but he held onto the way his partner‘s antennae had wriggled around excitedly on that happy day like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to lose a single detail of him, from the chittering of his mandibles, that only came out occasionally, his sharp chompers that Spamton sometimes used as hole punchers or to cut a vast array of items with, that pure white color and that happy expression.

Carefully, fingers shaking from just how delicately he handled the old photo, he put it into his little bag, making absolutely sure that it wouldn’t get wrinkled by any outside force.

Everything in his forsaken, run-down house reminded him of Ant. He couldn’t bring himself to get rid of anything, not the oversized furniture he‘d built just for his stupidly tall partner nor any of his leftover belongings.

A, by now, ratty old coat that Spamton sometimes used as an extra blanket; The owner‘s scent had faded long ago, but when he felt the fabric against his skin, he could almost imagine that Ant was still here with him, that nothing ever happened and they could just love each other freely, like they were always meant to.

It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair.

Why did Spamton have to lose him? Why did he get a glimpse of true happiness, only for it to be ripped away from him so cruelly.

He didn’t even have a way to contact Ant, wasn’t even sure if the monster had survived the brutal war or if he was now nothing more than dust strewn across the soil.

The thought made Spamton choke up and he quickly shook his head.

No, he chose to believe that Ant was okay, maybe injured from the brutal fighting, but survived. He had to, the other outcome was much more than Spamton could ever handle.

Listlessly, he dragged himself into the bathroom, haphazardly shaved, ran a comb through his salt and pepper hair and looked at the tired, sunken face in the mirror.

He barely recognized himself anymore. To think how hopeful him and Ant had been back then for the future made him ache all over again.

What a joke. Of course, the only one in the world he ever cared about and they had to take him from him.

Fuck this world. Fuck this stupid little town and fuck those traitorous townsfolk that turned on the kind monster that had only ever helped them. Fuck this country, fuck everyone that contributed to sealing the monsters away and are now patting themselves on the back for exterminating some great threat.

To hell with all of them.

Spamton‘s breakfast was unsatisfying like always, some bowl of old cereal that tasted like cardboard while he stared at the empty, oversized chair across from him. Their mornings used to be hectic but fun, with Ant making use of his four arms to grill sausages, scramble eggs and smear butter on bread, all for Spamton, who‘d always have to head out early for work.

He remembered he‘d always hop up on a little stepladder, kiss his partner‘s face, thank him for the amazing breakfast and promise him something equally as mouth-watering for dinner.

And Ant had always trilled excitedly, smothering his husband in kisses and told him that he couldn’t wait to see him again.

With a thoughtful hum, he looked down at his left hand, at the old gold band on his ring finger.

The spoon clattered into the bowl unceremoniously while Spamton gently brushed along the ring. It could do with a thorough polish, it was losing its shine from time and exposure to the elements.

A sentimental part of him wondered if Ant still wore his ring as well, if he was looking down at it right now and reminisced about Spamton the exact same way.

Spamton had been asked many times by the people that had known Ant why he was still wearing it and that he should try to move on, that their love just wasn’t meant to be.

In return, Spamton beat the living daylights out of any that dared to question him and his marriage, further isolating him from the town he‘d grown to resent.

He didn’t care what they thought, this ring was the undeniable proof of the commitment he and Ant had made to each other, of the vows they exchanged through sniffles, sobs and laughter.

As long as he had it, he would always be committed to Ant. This ring would have to be clawed out of his cold, dead hands and even then he wouldn’t ever consider moving on and finding a different partner.

What was the point, every human his age was involved in the war, indirectly at fault for him losing Ant. He could never hold affection for any of them, let alone love.

He‘d end them all with his bare hands if he had to, if it meant he could see Ant again, even for just one day.

A deep breath, the hand tightening to a fist.

He‘d made his mind up. He knew what to do.

With some newfound vigor, he hopped off his chair, heading back into his bedroom to stuff any belongings that still meant something to him into his little bag. It was surprisingly little, some old keepsakes, a spare set of clothes and, most importantly, all of Ant‘s things that he still had with him.

He took one more glance around his bedroom, closing his eyes and relishing in the memories for one more moment. It hurt, he wanted nothing more than to feel Ant‘s large, fuzzy hands run along his face and body and hear his voice again.

What he got instead was the painful ghost of a memory that lingered in this home. Spamton never could bring himself to let go, even if it might’ve been better for him. Deep down he knew he would’ve regretted it forever.

So with one more nod, an acknowledgement of the life he lived here and the memories tied to it, he turned and left his home. It was time to move on from this chapter in his life, he decided he would grieve the past no longer. Instead, he would take action.

He‘d never understand how the townspeople could move on so easily, as if this run-down ratty shithole was anything without Ant to light up the place with his big smiles and goofy antics.

And yet, here they all were, enjoying the good weather, jogging along the walkway, engaging in pointless smalltalk and just enjoying their stupid little lives.

Spamton hated them. He hated each and every one of them for what they took from him. Why was his happiness denied from him while they could just run about as if nothing ever happened?

Didn’t they miss him? How couldn’t they? Ant was larger than life, he was everything. Without him there to fill the space, Spamton‘s life had been so empty.

As soon as he stepped foot outside, heads turned towards him, murmuring started before they all too quickly avoided looking at him entirely; Even if they didn’t want to catch his ire, he could still feel them stealing glances at him.

He was all too used to it, preferred it even. If any of them attempted to include him in some false pleasantries, he would’ve cursed them out until his face turned blue. If there was one more thing he treasured, it was his reputation as the town lunatic that had to be avoided at all costs.

But not anymore, never again. It didn’t matter anymore, because he would never return.

Never would he have to see the faces of these traitors again, he thought with something akin to triumph as he began walking. The thought alone spurred him on to keep going, faster and faster, pointedly ignoring the rare instance somehow had tried to talk with him, asking what he was up to or where he was heading to.

It didn’t matter, none of them did. Soon they wouldn’t even be a blip on his radar anymore as the mountain came into view.

Soon, he wouldn’t be a part of this rotten world anymore, the world that took his love from him and tried to tell them that they couldn’t be together.

Fuck them, fuck everything, Spamton thought, he‘d make his own rules. He‘d defy whatever was supposed to be set in stone, if it meant a small chance to see his beloved bug monster again.

He hiked up the path, cursing his bad footwear for such a trek, but pushing on regardless. All for him, all for Ant.

And also for Spamton himself, he couldn’t take the crushing loneliness, the memories and the faces surrounding him anymore. He hated them all, he wanted them gone.

In a better world, Spamton would’ve been born a monster and him and Ant could’ve run away together. Even if they had been banished into the underground, they would’ve had each other and lived together happily.

He used to wish for Ant to have been born a human, but nowadays he cursed that thought. Ant could never be a human, there was just too much he loved about that goofy bug for him to ever be anything else. The wriggling antennae, his size, his sharp fangs and cute little mandibles, the multiple arms that wrapped around Spamton like it was second nature.

No, Ant was perfect just the way he was. He didn’t need to change for the approval of these elitists.

Spamton shivered. How he ever made it this long without Ant was nothing short of miraculous, but it ended today. Everything would.

He‘d either find Ant or die trying. Spamton found the thought a lot less scary than he expected. Instead of nerves, he only discovered newfound resolve and a sense of peace settling over him.

He was ready. Maybe he‘d been ready for a long time, but only now did he dare to finally do something other than curse everyone and everything surrounding him.

Finally, he‘d take action. He‘d find his husband again.

The abyss stretched out before him, a seemingly bottomless hole at the peak of the mountain. There was no telling how deep it went and what would expect him down there, even if he survived such a deep fall.

And yet, the sun shone so temptingly into the darkness, almost like it was trying to beckon him closer and assure him that he would be saved.

Finally, he could have everything he wanted again, all he had to do was act now, let go of the past and embrace the future.

Only a few more steps and he‘d be free.

He held on tightly to his bag, making sure that absolutely nothing could fall out, taking a deep breath of the crisp mountain air. Gentle wind was blowing through his hair, then suddenly changed directions to nearly push him forward with the sudden tailwind.

That was about as much of a sign as he could get, Spamton supposed.

He rummaged around in his bag one more time, procuring the photo and gazing at it softly. The only monster, only person he would ever look at like this, immortalized in this old Polaroid.

„I’m coming, Ant…“ Spamton whispered into the faded photograph, „Just a little longer, then I’ll be with you again, I promise. I was a fool for not doing this sooner.“

He caressed the image, imagining it was actually Ant‘s soft cheek under his finger instead of the smooth surface of the Polaroid. „I miss you so much. I’ve missed you every day. You were such a goofball, but you‘ve always brightened up my days. Without you, I- I don’t even know what to do without you. I’ve tried, I promise I did, but I just… I can’t, Ant. I need you. I need you to hold me and tell me that you love me, I don’t care about this world if you aren’t allowed to be in it.“

A deep steadying breath, then a sweeping gaze around himself. Another gust of wind urging him forward. Almost, he told himself, just a little more.

„I’ll find you.“ ‚Or die trying’, „And then we can be together again. I hope the world that you guys build for yourselves is a better one than this rotten world. Where I’ll be accepted and our love can just exist. I just want you back, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope you can forgive me for taking so long… I love you.“

Carefully, he slid the picture back into his bag, adjusted himself and, with one more gust of wind in his back, leapt into the abyss below.

He didn’t even scream, curling around his bag protectively and screwing his eyes shut as he fell. Faster and faster, the rapidly fading sunlight bathing him in nearly complete darkness.

Only then did he realize that this was probably a mistake, that he couldn’t possibly survive a fall like that and that he most likely wasted his life.

Surprisingly, he found that he really didn’t care, if there was just a chance for him to see Ant again, he‘d grasp it by the horns and refuse to let go.

And so, he smiled, spreading his arms as a way to welcome the underground, in hopes that it may accept him in a way his own kind never could.

Down there, Ant might be waiting, just for him, and the thought made butterflies flutter around in his stomach. It felt like returning home, even if the place he was heading to was completely unknown to him.

The faster he fell, the quicker his heartbeat became, vision blurring and consciousness fading away. He decided against fighting it, closing his eyes and dreaming of a giant white bug monster holding him in his arms once again instead.

His unconscious body hit the ground with a loud crash, a painful fall cushioned by yellow buttercups, the remaining sunlight beaming down at him as if he was an angel sent from above.

Injured, but alive.

There, he remained, dreaming of his Ant, of their past and their future. Together again, like they were always meant to be.

Their future was a lot closer than he thought.

Chapter Text

Spamton woke to a splitting headache, groaning to himself as he curled up in the beautiful patch of buttercup flowers he landed in.

The faint light shining onto him, along with the floral scent reminded him of days gone by, when he and Ant would stuff themselves during a Picnic, only to then be too full to head back home and take a nap together under an oak tree instead.

Back then he didn’t even realize how limited those days were, or how much he‘d miss them as he got older.

He snorted to himself at a particular memory, when an acorn landed on Ant‘s head, causing the poor guy to wake up and assume in his half-asleep state that they were either being attacked or that the sky was somehow collapsing.

Either way, he had reacted quickly, by throwing Spamton over his shoulder and booking it down the meadow with a flurry of hysteric screaming.

The snort evolved into muffled laughter when Spamton recalled Ant‘s embarrassed expression once he realized there was no danger, such a cute frown that he simply had to kiss right then and there or he might’ve not survived.

Ant…

In an instant, Spamton‘s eyes flew open, realization washing over him. He‘d finally done it, he‘d packed everything that still had any meaning to him, headed to the mountain and jumped in hopes of finding his husband in the underground. In his desperation, he‘d decided to risk it all.

And now here he was, staring up at the now miniscule hole at the peak of the mountain. Such a deep fall. How any light even made it this far down would forever be a mystery, but it hardly mattered when he was right here and alive.

He‘d survived!

He wasn’t sure if the world was taking mercy on him or if this was some kind of reward for finally following his heart, but he‘d made it.

Now all he had to do was find Ant. Easier said than done, unfortunately, as he had no idea how big the underground was even supposed to be. It had to be gigantic, right, seeing as it houses every single monster that had been banished?

It didn’t matter, he told himself, pushing himself to his feet. All that mattered was that he found his husband as quickly as possible! They‘d been apart for too long and Spamton simply couldn’t wait to see him again.

What might he look like now? Older, like Spamton? The same? Maybe a little more rugged, with droopier antennae or some lines in the pure white fluff to show his age?

Spamton smiled at the thought, remembering how effortlessly handsome that stupid bug had always looked, to him at least. No one else ever seemed to share his sentiment, finding his lack of eyes or extra appendages off-putting, which Spamton dismissed as the townsfolk being idiots with no taste.

They hardly mattered now, he‘d left them behind for a reason after all. They meant nothing to him. For all he cared, they could rot.

So he walked on ahead, plucking some golden flowers from his hair on the way. One he put into his bag, right by the Polaroid of the two of them, with the intent to give it to Ant once they‘re reunited. That stupid bug always loved it when Spamton brought him flowers, especially the self-plucked ones instead of bouquets he‘d initially bought for his partner.

By now, his feet and calves were starting to hurt, his lack of exercise rearing its ugly head, yet he cared little for how long it‘d take. He’d already waited decades to take the final step and jump down here, he‘d search for days, weeks, months and years. Until he could hold his husband again, he’d always keep going.

It felt strangely freeing to leave his old life behind. As much as he loved sharing the house with Ant and holding on to the past, over the years it’s felt a lot closer to a prison with the overwhelming grief constantly threatening to swallow him.

The past was as painful as it was beautiful, but it was just that. The past. Time that they would never get back. The life they‘ve been robbed off for too long. Now it was time to take action, to hoist himself up by the bootstraps and take whatever the hell he wanted, no matter what anyone else thought. He refused to let life put him down any longer and to just endure it.

No, never again.

„Huh?“

Spamton froze instinctively at the sudden voice, shoulders hunched and body tense. In his determination to get down here, he‘d completely forgotten that he was a human, the race that banned all of monsterkind into the underground.

How mad would the monsters be about being trapped in this place? Would Spamton even have the chance to find Ant, or would the rest of monsterkind let their frustrations out on him? Would
He even make it out of this strange town he was in or would he get jumped by someone before he had the chance to look for his love?

When he hesitantly turned, he came face to face with a tall goat monster in a beautiful, ornamental teal dress, the golden adornments glinting subtly in the low light. A crown was perched atop her head, perfectly fitted for her horns to still poke out.

Despite her size and undeniable status, she seemed surprisingly calm, presumably surprised to find a human down here, but thankfully without being straight up hostile.

The same could not be said for the other goat monster suddenly appearing behind her, a loud stomp announcing his arrival before Spamton even had the opportunity to flinch.

If he thought the queen was tall, then the king was absolutely massive, not as big as Ant, but standing like the proud ruler of a fallen race that was slowly rebuilding itself to its former glory. In his paws lay a red trident, clasped tightly and ready to be hurled at any second if Spamton did only one wrong move.

He barely resisted the urge to run away, knowing that even if he tried, there was no way he could outrun either of them in his current state. Without Ant by his side, he‘d really let himself go, only heading out when he needed to buy something to eat or do the bare minimum for his job.

„You.“ The king growled, raising his trident threateningly. „You‘re a human. What are you doing here?“

Spamton choked on a surprised gasp, stumbling backwards and promptly falling on his butt in an embarrassing show of clumsiness. „Wait!“ He called out, stretching out an arm as if he would be able to block any attack from such a powerful monster. Even in his younger years, he‘d never been a fighter, always being more of a schemer than anything. „I swear, I’m not here to hurt anyone! I just- I’m just trying to find my husband!“

The queen put a paw over her husband‘s, signaling him to remain calm until she found the answers she sought. Her studious brown eyes roved over Spamton, really taking in every detail of the ratty man in front of her.

There was still some leftover stubble from a sloppy shave, prominent eyebags under his shifty, sunken eyes, hunched posture and graying hair. He really didn’t look threatening, but she couldn’t be too careful. While she didn’t see any weapons on him, he could be hiding one inside his bag and the humans merely picked an unassuming assassin.

„Do you know where you are?“ She began, continuously scrutinizing him, just in case he did try a sudden attack. „This is the underground. Humans like you shouldn’t be here, much less your husband.“

„No! No, you don’t understand!“ Spamton interjected, raising his hands placatingly in his attempt to get his point across. „Wait, wait wait wait, give me a second.“

He began rummaging in his bag, carefully pulling out what seemed to be an old Polaroid, faded with time. The way Spamton cradled it, it might as well have been his most precious of all treasures. „Here, look! This is my husband!“

After taking a few hesitant steps closer, subsequently tensing up when both the queen and king prepared themselves for potential combat, he held the faded photograph up for them. The hostility quickly faded once they saw the picture, realization dawning on them that the husband was a monster and not some lost human they hadn’t found yet.

The queen gasped, one paw over her mouth while Asgore stared wide-eyed at the old photo of the happy couple.

„Please…“ Spamton held the picture with great care, thumb subconsciously rubbing over where Ant‘s face was.

„I’m sorry for what happened, it wasn’t my decision, I- I never wanted any of this. At first I was paranoid of you guys too, with all the propaganda going around it was hard not to be, but then this stupid goofball bug came into my life! I wasn’t sure about him, hell, I thought he was gonna attack me and steal my soul at first, but- hah- he just followed me like a lost puppy and kept trying to talk to me. Kept saying he wanted to get to know me. I tried to shoo him away, but- but he was always really persistent. Annoying little pest that guy, but hell, he was my pest. Never thought the day would come where I settled down with someone, but Ant… Ant just had… such a way of making me feel like someone that mattered.“

The weapons were slowly lowering the more Spamton talked, „When we married, I thought it was all going to be okay. But Ant- he- he was the only monster in our little town and the tensions just got higher and higher and eventually- fuck…“ He wiped over his eyes, remembering that awful time.

„I didn’t want to lose him, so I tried hiding him, but- but he was found and sealed away with all of you. Guess I was lucky they didn’t outright kill him, but…“ he shook his head, trying to blink away the tears, „I’d promised him, no matter what happened, I’d try to live a fulfilling life on the surface for him, even if he couldn’t be there, but- but I just- I couldn’t do it anymore.“

Spamton‘s shoulders dropped, an ugly sneer on his face in his futile attempt to stop his crying in front of monster royalty. „I need to see him again, please. I- I understand if you hate me for what my kind has done, but please…“ He looked up at them, presenting them with his golden wedding band, „He made me feel whole, he was the piece I felt like I was missing all my life. Even at my worst, he made me feel like my best, like I was really someone. I left it all behind, my home, town and the surface, just for a chance to see him again.“

The whole display was as genuine as it could be, raw and ugly, with Spamton finally releasing decades of pent up grief, anger and sorrow as a sob wracked him. It was too much, actually talking about it with someone was somehow making him so much more emotional than actually stewing in his own misery.

But at least it was honest, and judging by the way the two goat monsters looked at him, they were at the very least not about to skewer him on a trident anymore. Quite the opposite actually, with the queen looking at him sympathetically and the king actually averting his gaze, essentially leaving himself vulnerable, to blink the tears out of his vision.

Only now did it dawn on him that he was actually speaking to monster royalty, without any honorifics or decorum of any kind. All of his experience with monsters came from Ant, but he really hoped that they were all as kind as that overgrown bug.

Carefully, the queen held out a paw, her tone warm albeit shaky as she requested: „May we see the picture, please?“

Spamton was hesitant, clutching the precious keepsake close to his chest. He‘d rather die than ever give it away, not wanting to lose the precious memory, but eventually, he slowly held it out for the monster to take.

It was fine, he reasoned, they‘d be careful, they wouldn’t do anything to purposefully damage it. He desperately repeated those words in his head like a mantra, fully aware that he couldn’t exactly deny the two monsters if he wanted a chance to be welcomed into the underground.

Luckily, the queen was incredibly careful with the fragile Polaroid, her expression unreadable for a long time. Even the king was peeking over her shoulder, his previous protectiveness making way for something more tired and solemn.

It was understandable, they must miss the surface terribly, maybe they also had human friends they had to leave behind. The thought that Spamton wasn’t the only one was at least a small comfort.

„Thank you.“ The queen carefully handed the picture back to Spamton, who immediately began checking it for damages. „Do you realize that there is no way for you to get back to the surface? The barrier doesn’t differ between monsters or humans, it’s supposed to trap our kind inside and prevent yours from getting in.“

„I don’t care.“ Spamton didn’t even hesitate, putting the photo back into his trusty bag, „I knew what I risked when I made the jump and I was ready for it. I‘d rather have the chance to live down here with the love of my life than up there with them.“ He froze instinctively, then lowered his head respectfully, „I mean- if- if you‘ll permit me, your- your majesties.“

The queen regarded Spamton, a myriad of emotions crossing her features, making it difficult to determine what she really was thinking. At the very least she didn’t seem hostile, but Spamton wasn’t ready to count his blessings yet when he was very much still on the chopping block.

In his hurry to get down here, he‘d never even stopped to consider how the monsters might feel about him until he‘d already made the jump. His thoughts had been so preoccupied by Ant that he didn’t even wonder if the other monsters would welcome him.

Especially not the king and queen, who‘d had to endure the hardships of war and their people being banished underground.

Needless to say, Spamton was sweating bullets, his wide-eyed stare directed at the ground when glancing at the pair before him became too nerve-wracking. He trembled, still on his knees from the rather pitiful display of openly begging to see his husband again and be accepted into the community.

Silence stretched on and he was starting to feel like the anticipation might actually be enough to outright kill him. God damnit, he thought desperately, his sneer starting to look unhinged. Please just say something, he couldn’t take it anymore.

Finally, after entirely too long, the queen glanced at the king, who subtly nodded in return. „Very well, human.“ She spoke, certainty in her voice. Spamton couldn’t help but perk up hopefully. „We shall give you a chance. May we ask who we are speaking with?“

„Ah-!“ Spamton grinned, his entire face scrunching up from a lack of genuine smiles for decades, quickly scrambling to introduce himself: „Spamton G. Tenna, your majesties. I took my husband‘s name when we were wed.“

At that, the two of them smiled. The king gestured to himself, his voice now filled with warmth as he felt like the danger had passed: „I am Asgore. The king of monsterkind. And my beautiful wife‘s name is Toriel, the queen.“

„It‘s- it’s an honor to make your acquaintance." Once again, Spamton lowered his head as a display of respect.

Toriel smiled, stepping forward and offering him her paw to take. „Come, Spamton, you both have waited long enough. Allow me to lead you to him.“

At those words, Spamton‘s heart skipped several beats, a choked gasp the only thing he could get out. There wasn’t even hesitation as he accepted the offered hand, getting hoisted back onto his unsteady feet. Finally, finally he could see him again, the monster of his dreams. „You- you mean he is okay? He is here?“

With a warm smile and nod, Toriel led him along winding corridors littered with old homes and closed stores, leaving Asgore behind to take care of their joint duties. A few of the homes still had light in them, curious monsters peeking through windows at the odd pair.

After just a couple of minutes, Spamton had assumed that Toriel either hadn’t heard him or was deliberately not answering him, but instantly perked up when he heard her voice: „I know Ant well. Such a kind soul, but I always felt like he was incredibly lonely. I suppose I know why now.“ She gazed sadly at Spamton.

The thought of his Ant trapped down here in the underground, just as miserable as Spamton had been, was enough for his heart to clench painfully. Surrounded by monsters ready to help and support him, but still so lonely, because none of them were Spamton. „I’ve missed him ever since the day I lost him.“

Toriel nodded sympathetically, „When we were banished, our people banded together to make the underground as much of a home as it could possibly be. Everyone has a role to fill. This place we are currently at is an old town we used to live in, but we are working on building a settlement in a snowy part, out of the cave. Ant is there right now. He‘s helped so much with building, his extra appendages, strength and height were invaluable to us during that time.“

„I can imagine.“ Spamton chuckled at the thought, imagining Ant wearing a construction helmet and carrying big wooden logs under his arms. The mental image made him feel warm. „Is he still doing construction?“

„Only when he is needed.“ Toriel took a turn and Spamton quickly followed. This place was like a labyrinth, he wasn’t even confident if he would’ve ever made it out if he hadn’t run into the kind monsters. „Construction hadn‘t made him particularly happy, but he enjoyed helping others. Right now he has built a makeshift daycare and is taking care of and entertaining all the monster children while we establish ourselves.“

Spamton‘s eyes lit up at the information, a huge grin spreading on his sunken face. „That does sound like my Ant. He loved playing with the town‘s kids up there.“ He bit back a comment about how these ungrateful brats had just forgotten about him after everything he‘s done for them.

„Oh, he‘s a treasure, the work he does is invaluable. The children deserve to play and laugh without worries of the current situation. Ant is helping with that. He has even written bedtime stories and songs about a character he calls ‚The little Mailman‘. They‘ve become very popular with monsterkind.“

Toriel might as well have hit him with a sledgehammer with how he staggered and nearly fell to his knees. In an instant, Spamton clutched his chest as the emotions rushing through him threatened to overwhelm him. Fresh tears gathered in his eyes, his other hand covering his mouth to try and mask the sobs he could no longer suppress.

„What- what’s wrong? Are you okay?! Do I need to get a healer?“ Toriel fretted, hovering anxiously around him with her paws in the air. Visibly hesitant to touch him out of fear of making whatever overcame the human worse.

Spamton sniffled, furiously wiping at his eyes and his voice refusing to cooperate with him for an agonizing few moments. How could he possibly explain just how significant that knowledge was to him?

„Little Mailman…“ He eventually began, voice cracking, „That- that was his nickname for me…“

In return, Toriel gasped, both hands covering her mouth at the revelation. This entire time, the Underground‘s first and favorite children’s entertainer had dedicated the stories and songs he‘d written to the husband he could no longer see as a consequence of the war? It was enough for even her to get teary eyed, only managing a weak: „Oh- I- I’m so sorry…“

What was she even apologizing for? For telling Spamton? Or maybe for them getting separated in the first place, due to a conflict that had nothing to do with them and never should’ve gotten as far as it did? Even she didn‘t know for certain, all she knew was that she was sorry.

For a moment, silence settled over them as they continued their walking, Spamton‘s excitement to finally see his husband again growing with every little step he took. His feet were killing him and his entire body felt like it might collapse in on itself like a badly stacked house of cards, but he pointedly ignored it.

He could take a break when he‘d finally have Ant with him again.

It was getting colder, they must be getting close to the settlement by now. Please, Spamton could hardly stand anymore, he just longed to be held in his partner‘s arms again and spend the day close to him. Finally fall asleep next to him again and, when he would undoubtedly dream about him like he always did, wake up with Ant right by his side.

„If I may ask.“ Toriel‘s voice was surprisingly hesitant, cutting through the unnerving quiet. „Why little mailman as a nickname?“

Spamton shrugged and huffed, clutching the bag slung around his shoulder tightly. If his walk was getting more wobbly and unsteady, Toriel had the decency to not comment on it. „That was my job. I wore my uniform when I first met him on my route. And, well, I was a lot smaller than him. I was wary of him at first and didn’t want to give him my name, so he called me ‚Little Mailman‘ instead. And I guess it just stuck.“

„Oh, I see.“ Toriel smiled at the mental image. She knew Ant well, she could imagine him being a bit much for a grouchy young mailman that just wanted to get his route done. But judging by the lengths Spamton went through to find him again, he must’ve successfully charmed him. „You know, a mail service sounds like something really useful. Would you maybe be interested in managing a post office for us?“

Spamton tilted his head with a thoughtful hum. „…Let me think about it, please? I- I know I‘m gonna be staying here and I’ll need to make myself useful, I- I just need some time. I want to see Ant again, first.“ While the offer of a new job didn’t sound too bad, he didn’t want to commit to something right away. The first priority was reuniting with his husband, the second was to settle down. A potential job was very far down the list.

„I understand.“ Toriel conceded, „It‘s all a lot for you right now. And you can take your time with it. I‘m sure that you and Ant will have a lot to catch up on.“

He was led to a place that almost seemed like it was outside, with the sudden bright lights and snowy surroundings, Spamton couldn’t help but gasp and shield his eyes at the sudden brightness of it all. The snow crunched beneath his shoes with every step and the air was surprisingly crisp.

For a moment, he completely forgot that they were underground, marvelling at the scene before him. „Wow…“ He mumbled, his grip on the strap of his bag tightening subtly. „This- this sure is something. I expected a lot, but not this.“

„We‘re calling it Snowdin. It‘s still under construction, but it will make for a nice peaceful town for our people.“ Toriel led him along well-trampled paths, making him wonder if roads would be laid once the town itself was done. „We are slowly working towards moving everyone out of the old town and into Snowdin before we begin expanding further along. Until everyone has a place to call a home.“

That sounded nice. He could hardly believe that after all the loneliness he endured with the humans, the monsters had accepted him so willingly; And that despite the bad blood between their species. He was aware that it was most likely because of his marital bond with Ant, but it hardly mattered. It still felt like a dream come true, to be offered a home among the monsters and be able to enjoy the rest of his life with Ant.

As excited as he‘d been the entire time, a pit of anxiety formed in his stomach when they finally made it to the outskirts of Snowdin. It very much screamed ‚under construction‘, the very simple huts slowly getting replaced with actual brick houses that would better protect their inhabitants from the biting cold.

„Wait…“ for the first time since he began his trek, he voluntarily stopped, breathing heavily. „It‘s already been so long… What if he doesn’t recognize me? Or- or found someone else…?“ Spamton hadn’t exactly aged the best, the grief for his lost love and resentment for the people around him having done a number on him.

Toriel merely smiled at him, putting a warm paw on Spamton‘s shoulder. „He‘s dedicated all these stories to you. These songs. No one else knew, but he‘s been indirectly talking about you through these, the entire time. I assure you, it won’t matter how you think you look. All he will see is you.“

With a deep breath, Spamton nodded, hesitantly trailing after Toriel as she led him through the small town. Curious monsters stared, a few hesitant but most of them reasonably confused. They didn’t stop, any questions were blocked off by Toriel with a resolute „We will explain later.“, before the walking continued.

Following the distant sound of a guitar, Spamton noted.

Eventually, they made it to a home that almost looked like a giant hill they built a door, windows and a chimney into. It looked like it came straight out of a children’s book. A real oversized ant hill, Spamton thought fondly, hoping that it was warm inside. He remembered clearly how much Ant despised the cold, always huddling up under blankets and cuddling close to Spamton to leech off his body heat.

Then his gaze trailed from the house itself to its surroundings, his heart stopping when he finally laid eyes on his husband again.

It seemed like it still rang true to this day, as Ant was completely decked out in multiple layers of the warmest winterwear Spamton had ever seen. A wooly hat that two holes have been cut into for his antennae to fit through, matching pairs of mitts, a thick knitted scarf, one puffy jacket and a slightly leaner one underneath, winter boots and thick pants that had been patched up multiple times to account for his long legs.

Ant sat on the trunk of a felled tree, one leg over the other and a slightly awkward looking guitar in two hands. It must’ve been self-made, Spamton thought, already planning to build his partner something better soon. His projects of building oversized furniture back then made him surprisingly decent at woodworking.

Ant was surrounded by a few dozen children, sitting on blankets and listening to him play and sing one of his songs. The monster certainly looked older, at least a little, his fluff just a little less shiny and some lines on his face hinting at the time that has passed. One of his arms had also been lost, an aftermath of the war he was forced to fight in. Or maybe as a message from the townspeople that he was no longer welcome with them as they dragged him away.

Spamton could barely breathe; Ant was just as beautiful as on the day he lost him, immediately overcome with emotion.

„Excuse me!“ Toriel raised a hand in a wave, the soft melody immediately stopping as the group of monsters looked towards her. „I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but a very important visitor wanted to see you, Ant.“

In response, Ant‘s face scrunched up in confusion at first, another adorable quality of his, tilting his head at the exhausted, short human standing next to monsterkind‘s queen.

A second passed. Then another. And yet another.

Then…

A soft gasp, the guitar immediately set aside and forgotten about as he rose to his feet. He didn’t even have eyes, yet he seemed to stare so intensely.

Spamton smiled, taking a tired step forward. He nearly collapsed, his exhaustion, pounding headache and the freezing cold catching up with him.

Ant mirrored him by taking a much larger step towards him, one hand close to his chest and hugging himself with the remaining two. As if he couldn’t believe the phantom of his past that somehow found its way back to him.

Another heavy step, arms raised for a hug and tears freely falling from his face. He didn’t know what to say, no words felt significant enough for this moment. All that mattered was getting to his long-lost partner, there was always time for words after.

Once again, Ant mirrored the movement, his steps much larger and sturdier than Spamton‘s in comparison. There was still a certain hesitance to them, antennae twitching and undecided if they should droop sadly or wriggle excitedly. Seemed like he was just as torn up over everything as Spamton was.

By the third step, Spamton‘s vision began to blur, his balance waning and his body fully at the end of its rope. Not now, he begged, not when he was so close, just a few more steps and he‘d finally be with his husband again. As desperately as he tried to stay upright, the world around him was beginning to slowly spin, his balance off-kilter.

All hesitation was gone as soon as Ant noticed Spamton struggling. He broke into a sprint, easily crossing the relatively short distance with those long legs of his and scooping Spamton up into his arms before he could fall.

The second those three arms wrapped around him and pressed him into a warm body wrapped in winterwear, Spamton broke out into uncontrollable sobs. It’s been so long, decades, yet it still felt exactly the same as that very first day; Like no time had passed at all. God, he wished no time had passed, all these years they‘d never get again.

But at least they had the here and now, and right now, Spamton was a complete mess.

Ant wasn’t faring much better, judging by his violent shaking and sniffling. He curled his entire huge body around Spamton, clutching his husband so tightly to his chest that someone might think he was trying to absorb him.

„S-Spammy…?“ His voice cracked even through those two syllables, his snout burying into Spamton‘s greasy hair. „Oh, Spammy! My little- my- my mailman… you‘re here… you‘re really here!“

„Hey, Cuddlebug…“ Spamton’s voice was tired but tearful, running his hands along the soft fluff of his partner‘s face before securely wrapping around his neck. “It‘s me, it‘s really me… And you- god, you’re here…you’re here…“ A part of him still couldn’t quite believe that after all of these years, he was finally in his husband‘s arms again; but that miniscule voice became quieter and quieter as he listened to Ant‘s breathing, felt the tight embrace and registered those feelers investigating him thoroughly.

It was all he ever wanted, he should’ve risked it all and made the jump so much sooner if he would’ve known that all of this would be waiting for him. God, he felt like, after years of being lost and alone, he‘d finally come home.

„Oh, Spammy…“ Ant was a sniffling wreck, nuzzling up to his partner as if his life depended on it, „I’ve dreamt of this moment, I’ve had so many dreams of- of seeing you again. But I- I didn’t- I thought you‘d never…“ He broke down into sobs, his whimpers breaking Spamton‘s heart all over again. „Please don’t leave me… don’t let me wake up, please, god, let this not be a dream.“

„It‘s real.“ The words came out choked, with Spamton himself clearly struggling to contain himself. “It‘s all real. I'm really here and- and you‘re right here with me. And nothing‘s gonna separate us again. To hell with the humans, if they couldn’t accept you then- then I’m not gonna accept them… I just need you.“

Spamton let out a small huff of surprise as he was suddenly lifted off the ground, held securely in his partner‘s multiple arms. In a matter of seconds, his eyes slipped shut and he buried his face into the fluffy scarf that Ant was wearing. It wasn’t nearly as soft as the monster‘s chest fluff, but it still smelled like him, so it‘d have to do for now.

For a small, blissful moment, Ant looked down at the small human in his arms, a look of undeniable adoration on his face. He peppered the chilled face with a few smooches, his lips so much bigger in comparison that they engulfed half of Spamton‘s face, who squirmed away with a breathy chuckle.

„I’m sorry, children. Your majesty.“ Ant looked up, addressing the gaggle of monster children and nodding respectfully towards Toriel; The poor queen was trying to wipe her own tears away from the emotional display, a big smile on her face. „I’m going to have to cut the day short. Someone very important came home today.“

Home… Yes, even Ant saw it like that, after all these years, Spamton was finally home. Back with whom he belonged.

Toriel clapped into her hands, assuring Ant quickly: „Of course, of course. I understand. I’m sure you two have so much to talk about. Please, take all the time you need, I shall take the children back to their homes.“

Huh, the queen of monsters was so much more hands-on than any of the human world leaders. At least Spamton couldn’t imagine any of those guys bringing a group of pre-schoolers home to their parents so the caretaker could have an early day off. Though he supposed it was a very different situation.

With a heartfelt thanks towards the queen, Ant turned, Spamton still securely clutched in his arms as he headed back to the giant hill house. The ant hill house that looked like it came straight out of some cheesy children‘s book. It was so perfect for his husband.

„Heaven, you‘re freezing…“ Ant cooed, the concern in his voice unmissable. A gloved hand reached out to cradle Spamton‘s cheek in a tender fashion, who reacted by nuzzling into the touch.

Spamton‘s first response was a little sneeze and sniffle, followed immediately after: „I didn’t know what to expect. Didn’t even know if I’d make it down here in the first place. Just put on something comfortable for the trek.“

„Don’t worry…“ Ant trilled softly, the quiet sound of his antennae rubbing together evoking a strong sense of both peace and nostalgia within Spamton. „You‘re here now. Your journey is over. Let me warm you up now…“

Ant‘s place was certainly rustic, the first floor looking like the inside area of the daycare, with several cubbies for monster children to put their shoes and bags, a play area, mini kitchenette, an empty space in the middle to gather around Ant for songs, stories and nap time and, most peculiar, a fenced up set up stairs leading further down.

„I dug this place myself.“ Explained Ant, easily removing the little padlock and trudging downwards with Spamton. There was just a hint of barely disguised pride in his voice. „Upstairs is the kid and job area. The living area is down the stairs. My bedroom is the furthest down, it’s a lot warmer down there.“

Spamton nodded absentmindedly, not really paying attention. His eyes roved lazily over the comfortable living space, taking in all the little details. The first room he saw was a general living space, a lounge connecting to a more spacious kitchen than the one upstairs. Definitely made with Ant‘s size in mind, even among his kind he was the tallest monster around. Despite Spamton being dwarved by it all, he found it cozy.

And he may have gotten a little emotional when he saw that, across the giant chair at the dinner table, there was also a smaller one to accompany it. The makeshift couch had a little set of stairs, even the bathroom had a much shorter sink.

„You- did you…“ Spamton swallowed, feeling hope flutter in his chest. „Did you get these for me…?“

„I never could let go of you, my little mailman.“ Ant‘s voice held all the adoration in the world, taking in the scene of his living space. „I’ve been living alone for so long. I- I tried to let some friends into my life, but it was just so difficult. None of them were you and, no matter what I tried, I just missed you so much. When I made the smaller furniture, I thought of the bigger one you made for me when we still lived in town. It… it helped a little…“

Spamton chuckled wetly, wiping at his eyes. „I never threw your furniture away either, I just couldn’t. It- it would’ve felt like giving up on you and- and-” He sniffled, gesturing vaguely. „You know!!“

„Yeah…“ Ant chuckled, brushing Spamton‘s cheek with his thumb. „I do.“

Another flight of stairs down and they finally made it into the bedroom. There was darkness, the only light coming from the living area upstairs, while the comforting scent of herbs and wet earth wafted through the air. It almost felt like a huge nest, a circular room with a bunch of comfortable fabrics and nesting material arranged in the middle of it all. It was so much, from wool to cotton to clothes to blankets, anything even remotely comfortable was laid out as a makeshift bed, and Spamton just couldn’t wait to sink into that haven.

Ant was a little more hesitant to actually let go of Spamton, but eventually laid him down onto the nest. Without missing a beat, he grabbed several blankets, the material heavy, thick and warm, and draped them over Spamton‘s freezing body.

With a soft sigh, Spamton was about to curl up and relax, only to let out a whine he would’ve considered pathetic in any other circumstance once he saw that Ant was heading for the stairs. „Where are you going?!“ He yelped, frantic.

Ant froze in shock, quickly turning back to look at Spamton. Something about the way he stood there like a kid getting caught stealing from the cookie jar made him look so endearing, but there was no time to linger on it when he was about to go.

But Spamton needed him right here, he hadn’t kissed that fanged mouth nearly enough yet. „Ah-” Awkwardly, Ant shuffled, pulling at the scarf still wrapped around his neck, „I thought you‘d be hungry. Or thirsty. I just wanted to make you something…“ He shuffled with his feet, antennae drooping pitifully at the added murmur of: „And- and you‘ve been gone for so long, I- I didn’t know if you were comfortable with laying in bed together right away…“

„Stay. Please…“ Spamton‘s voice broke off by the end, not used to begging, but damnit, it was a desperate situation. „You can cook later, just- just stay with me, please. I know you want to, too, so stop acting like this. I need you here right now, I- I’ve waited so long for this, please don’t make us wait any longer. And-” he looked his partner up and down, adding with a huff: „Take those stupid winter clothes off and let me feel your fluff and chitin already… I missed it.“

A cute little blush spread on Ant‘s face in response, who visibly flustered at his partner‘s words. After all, how couldn’t he? When both him and Spamton were still young and spry, the sleazy mailman was never quite as open about what he wanted; Much less about how much he needed Ant close to him.

For a moment, Spamton thought he‘d have to ask again, but thankfully, Ant finally got to work. He bit down onto the soft material of his mittens and pulled them off with his teeth, revealing the golden wedding band that was hidden beneath.

After all these years…

„You‘re still wearing yours, too?“ Spamton smiled tiredly, a subtle shine in his eyes from the lights from above.

„Of course.“ Ant made quick work on discarding his scarf, a bit of his neck fluff immediately puffing up in response. Spamton had to actively resist the urge to jump up and run his hands all over it, longing to feel it between his fingers again. He needed it, it was a basic necessity for survival.

Ant looked down at his ring, smiling fondly at the faded shine that revealed just how many years it’s been. „We vowed until death do us part, right? And, well, I’m still alive. Even if I wouldn’t see you again- I-” He paused in the middle of shrugging his jackets off, overcome by a new wave of emotions, „I never could’ve moved on from you, Spammy. You’re the love of my life… there was only ever you.“

Spamton sniffed, unable to look away from his radiant, beautiful husband. His human peers had always considered him a massive weirdo for getting with a 15 foot tall ant monster with four arms, feelers, mandibles, fangs and an insect abdomen, but to Spamton, he was the most gorgeous being in existence „Same here.“ He smiled genuinely, „I could never even look at anyone else. All I could ever think of was you.“

„Oh, Spammy…“ The winter jackets were quickly discarded and tossed aside, along with the red sweater he was wearing. The winter boots were carefully untied and pulled off, revealing the monster‘s clawed feet. Next were the thermal pants, which joined the pile of useless clothing, only leaving Ant in the black shirt he‘d been wearing under the sweater and his underwear.

Good enough, they both deemed, with Spamton opening his arms invitingly and Ant all too happily flopping down into the nest beside his beloved mailman.

Spamton didn’t even hesitate to reach out, running his hands all along the exposed fluff of Ant‘s body. Nimble fingers ran along the lines where chitin replaced the soft fuzz, admiring the texture and handsome looks of his monster partner. How could any human ever compare to this? Anyone, human or monster alike, at that?

Little giggles escaped Ant, who squirmed under the ministrations. „Stohohop, that tickles!“ he squeaked, flustering all over again.

„I can’t help it.“ Spamton chuckled, curious hands still relishing in all the familiar textures they‘d been longing for for so long. „You‘re just so… perfect. Everything about you. It‘s like I never lost you.“ Nothing ever compared to the unique texture of Ant‘s fluff and surprisingly sturdy chitin. Of course, ants were durable little things, and with his partner‘s sheer size, he was a force to be reckoned with.

At least he would be, if he weren’t a docile, dopey sweetheart that only ever fought it he absolutely needed to.

Before Ant could respond to the heartfelt compliment, Spamton averted his eyes, a somber look taking over his features. „Sorry, Cuddlebug, I know I’m not the looker I used to be… especially compared to you, now.“

„What are you talking about?“ Ant frowned, hating that sad look on his husband‘s face. Two hands reached out, cupping Spamton‘s face while the antennae stroked through the hair and along the skin. „You just look older. More tired. But so do I. And I still find you so irresistible. My little mailman, love of my life~ You‘re here. You‘re… you’re really here…“

Spamton finally shimmied forward, pushing his mouth against Ant‘s insistently. He just couldn’t wait any longer, he had to kiss him, kiss him for all the years they had to spend apart. Kiss him for the reunion, kiss him for this tender moment between them and, of course, kiss him for the future that they were now given. His hands once again reached out, cupping the insect‘s fluffy cheeks.

Ant trilled and preened under the attention, humming into the kiss and pulling Spamton impossibly closer. Their mouths moved against each other, deep and desperate; As if Ant would be dragged away again if they stopped for even just a single second.

Any time either of them tried to break away to take a quick gulp of air, they were immediately pulled in again, love and urgency fuelling them. Neither knew who started crying first, but by the end, both of their cheeks were wet from tears that wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon.

„God, look at you…“ Spamton brushed a thumb along Ant‘s cheek fluff, who let out little chittering noises at the tender affection. Call him crazy, but he could swear they were even louder than what they used to be back then. It made sense, he supposed, no one but him ever had the honor of being so intimate with Ant.

But now he had it all back. He was all his once again. „Curse these humans for ever taking you from me.“

At those words, Ant‘s expression turned somber, his thumb caressing Spamton‘s jawline. „Please don’t hate the humans.“ He pleaded in a hushed whisper, „Even if they hated me at the very end. I- I still love all of these children. You shouldn’t hate your own kind.“

„No.“ Spamton was resolute, teeth grit, „I do hate them, they took you from me. After all you‘ve done for them, they still shunned you. I hate them. They don’t deserve mercy.“

„Spammy…“ Ant didn’t know what to say. He‘d always known how stubborn and spiteful his little mailman could be. The thought of Spamton loathing the humans upset him, yet he didn’t say anything else to defend them. Maybe deep down, he knew that there was no way to change Spamton‘s mind, now that the damage had been done and had the time to fester for so long.

In truth, neither of them even remembered what started the war, it could’ve been a petty argument or a life-altering offense. All they knew was that their kind were pitted against each other, and the eventual losers of that confrontation had to be banished.

In Spamton‘s opinion, both sides lost that war. There is no victory in war, only loss. Families, partners, friends and acquaintances ripped apart from a conflict no one even really remembered anymore.

Ant supposed Spamton‘s hatred could be ignored, for now. After all, they were banished, trapped in the underground for presumably forever, with no other humans in sight. For now, they should just focus on each other and the joint life they regained.

And he would’ve, if he didn‘t notice a horrid bump on his husband‘s head, swollen with some dried blood around it. „You‘re hurt.“ He exclaimed, carefully brushing some of the greasy hair aside to examine it further.

„Prolly from the fall.“ Spamton shrugged, not paying any mind to it.

„Does it hurt?“ In an almost sickeningly sweet gesture, Ant kissed the top of his head, right on the bump.

Spamton shivered in return, a subtle shade of red spreading on his face. How could he ever live so long without all of this? „Not really. A bit of a headache, but I’m tired and achey in general from the long trek.“ He leant into Ant with a sigh, adding: „Right now I‘m just so happy. I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a long time…“

His gaze trailed down along Ant‘s body in return. „What about you?“ He wondered, raising a hand before quickly stopping himself from touching the area where the fourth Arm used to be. „Does it hurt?“

„Sometimes.“ Ant shrugged noncomitally. „Phantom pains, mostly, I know it’s gone, but there are days where it still hurts and there isn’t really anything I can do about it. Healing magic only helps a little.“

A hum, then a subtle nod from Spamton. „I’m sorry.“

„Don’t be, it’s not your fault. Nothing that happened was.“ Another kiss, much shorter and sweeter this
time, followed by a reassuring smile.

Spamton didn’t return it. „If I’d just hidden you better-”

„No.“ Ant didn’t even let him finish that thought, the sudden resolution in his voice enough for Spamton to fall silent. „You did everything you could. Besides…“ One of his hands gently scratched along Spamton‘s scalp, who sank into the feeling with a sigh, „Even if it would’ve worked, I would’ve just had to stay hidden forever. And who knows what would’ve happened to me if they found me after all the monsters were already sealed away.“

Spamton shivered at the horrific mental image entering his head. The thought of watching his husband turning to dust before his very eyes was too much to bear, his embrace on Ant tightening impossibly.

Luckily, Ant was a sturdy bug, who merely nuzzled into the affection with a chitter. „We‘re here now.“ He emphasized. „We‘ve lost some time, but it doesn’t change that we‘re here right now. And-” He sniffled, getting emotional all over again, „Maybe it‘s not gonna be how it used to be, but it‘ll be ours.“

Spamton liked that thought. He really did. It was warm and comfortable, the smell reminding him of their picnics in the autumn and the arms encircling him making him shiver in the best way. “Yeah…“ He mumbled, eyelids drooping as his exhaustion was fully catching up to him. „Ours. Forever.“

It was real, he told himself, it was all real, he really was here, Ant was actually holding and kissing him again. He‘d made it.

Despite his best efforts, he felt a rush of unease at potentially falling asleep, afraid he‘ll somehow wake up in his empty house on the surface again. „Ant…“ His whisper made him sound so small, so afraid, something Spamton could never be. „I’m so tired… please stay.“

A soft smile graced the monster‘s face, his cute fangs poking out right before he kissed Spamton once again. „Of course.“ He promised, his tone just as hushed as Spamton like they were exchanging secrets. „I’ll be right here when you wake up. Now that I have you back, I’ll never let you go again.“

For once, Spamton really hoped that was true, his eyes finally falling shut when Ant began humming a soothing melody. On any other day, Spamton would’ve complained and squirmed, insisting that he wasn’t a child and that he didn’t need this kind of treatment.

But hearing Ant‘s voice, along with feeling his embrace, was just what he craved, his panicked mind finally calming down. And just like that, he was practically out like a light, ready to leave the past behind and look forward to their future together,

Ant kept the hummed lullaby up for a little longer, only interrupting himself when he felt Spamton fully slump against him, his breathing evening out to signify a deep sleep.

The poor guy must’ve been exhausted, carrying that heavy burden in his heart for so long without any support.

„My Spammy…“ Ant trilled, kissing the little crease between Spamton‘s eyebrows. Even in his sleep he looked grouchy, something that was somehow both hilarious, adorable and depressing, all at the same time.

There was so much Ant wanted to say and do, places to show Spamton, monsters to introduce, maybe renew their vows, now that they were finally reunited… But all of that could wait, he decided, content to just have him right here, in his nest. Finally not alone anymore.

„Sleep well, my little mailman… I love you more than anything.”