Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

All Shedletsky wanted was something to drink.

Y'know, late at night. If it really counted as night time, since it was perpetually dark out, but the skybox was making its second pass of the day, and everyone was asleep. Everyone except Shedletsky.

And Noob, as Shedletsky would come to find out, once he turned to leave the kitchen and noticed them sitting on the couch alone. It made him jump, rousing Noob from their blank staring into the dark room.

They had stared at him, and Shedletsky, a glass of water in his hand, stared back.

"Hey, buddy," he placed the unused hand into the pocket of his shorts, "What're you doing in the cabin?"

They nibbled their lip, a silence lapsing between them before responding. "What're you doing?" they asked instead.

Shedletsky shuffled a little. He raised his glass in a gesture, "Just thirsty, y'know."

Noob nodded, and Shedletsky knew that they knew it was a pointless question to ask. His feet carried him forward, rounding the coffee table to sit on the recliner to Noob's side, placing his cup down on the table as he did. "C'mon, what's bothering you?"

"Um, nothing," they said after a short pause. They were a horrible liar; it made Shedletsky's lip curl upward.

"You answered my question with a question," he pointed out. It resulted in Noob huffing and sitting back against the chair.

They seemed to war over it for a moment, their mouth opening and closing as they gathered the courage. Shedletsky was hunched over, clasping his hands together in front of him and watching Noob patiently.

"... I'm genderfluid," they admitted, and Shedletsky's brows rose, "And I really feel like a girl right now but I don't have any of the stuff I use to make me feel feminine, and it's making me want to submerge myself in the freezing lake by the dock."

They spoke hurriedly, but their words were clear. They finally made eye contact with the ex-admin once they finished speaking, checking his reaction. They looked away when he still didn't say anything, surprise etching his features. "Just like... as a shock to my system, y'know? To distract me," the survivalist muttered, embarrassed.

Shedletsky rolled his lip in apprehension. This definitely wasn't something he had to deal with before, but there was one idea that appeared in his mind. It felt so simple, but it was something that made his heart hurt to think about doing.

"Well, maybe some of the other survivors have something you can use?" Shedletsky suggested instead. Noob shuffled in their chair.

"I'm not even out to anyone else yet, and besides, everyone's asleep," Noob countered slowly. "I... I need this now, or else I won't sleep tonight and," they suddenly breathed a sharp breath in, huffing impatiently, "And I won't be any good next round."

Shedletsky watched them, feeling worse by the moment. He steeled himself to what he was about to offer. There was a way he could help, and it was in his responsibility to do so when he could.

"I have some makeup," he said, and Noob's head shot up to stare at him. The swordmaster's face reddened in embarrassment, glancing away. "It belonged to someone I knew. I always carried it for her, but it managed to come here with me."

Hope lifted Noob's spirits, though something in Shedletsky's tone made them unsure. "If you're sure? If it means something to you, I don't want to —"

Shedletsky waved a dismissive hand. "Ah, who else is going to use it? It's, uh, in my cabin. I'll go grab it, 'kay?"

A short, hesitant nod. "'Kay."

Shedletsky ended up sitting in the living room, sipping on lukewarm water as he waited for Noob to finish their makeup in the bathroom upstairs, when a thought suddenly occurred.

Once he got back from the second trip to his cabin, Noob had finished and walked down the stairs towards him.

"How's it look?" They stopped near the bottom step, and he looked up from what he was holding towards their face.

It wasn't much, but it went a long way. pinkened lips, eyeliner and eye shadow, a little star drawn in eyeliner pen on the cheek. Their hair was short, but it was long enough to fit in a ponytail, framing their face differently, softer. Any longer and they would've looked just like Brighteyes.

Shaking his head, he cast the thoughts away. He still hadn't responded.

"Definitely like a girl," he said with a grin. Noob almost seemed relaxed, rolling their eyes with a smirk and walking the rest of the way down the steps. Her eyes land on the purple fabric in the ex-admin's hands.

"What's that?"

Shedletsky jumped. He nearly forgot.

"Oh yeah, I have this jacket if you wanted to borrow it," he took it in one hand and held it out for them to take. "It's not a skirt or anything like that, but y'know, I thought it might help."

Noob set the makeup palette down on the coffee table before they gently reached out to grab it out of Shedletsky's hand. The exchange was slow, delicate, and they looked at the jacket hanging in their arms like it meant something.

"And you just have this around too?" they asked instead of speaking those thoughts, brows furrowing at Shedletsky.

He was unable to stop the grin from worming onto his face. "Got her whole purse with me. That's one of her spares." That got Noob to huff a laugh.

"And she just has this in there?" They asked, an incredulous lilt to their voice, "How big is her purse?"

"Oh, it's pretty small, but I swear it's infinite." Nostalgia made Shedletsky feel light and airy, and mirth lit something in Noob's eyes. An amused smirk raised the corner of their lip.

"You think it's magic?"

"Trust me, I've checked!"

A mutual laugh echoed between the two, and Noob shook their head once the two died down. They threw the jacket on, adjusting the front before looking back up at the swordfighter.

"How about now?"

Something in Shedletsky stopped dead.

Seeing Noob, in her makeup, in her jacket, it sent a kind of longing through him that felt debilitating. A feeling of loss crept into his heart.

Noob politely didn't comment on the unsteady breath the ex-admin drew in, nor the smile that was just a bit too shaky.

"Perfect," he said, barely able to hold back the emotion in his voice. "We can talk to Builderman about making you something more permanent in the morning," Shedletsky added, choosing to move on. "He's trustworthy, I promise. Me and him go way back."

Noob looked down and away, hair falling into their eyes.

"Well, if he's your friend, then I guess I'm alright with that," they muttered, smiling despite the anxiety spinning in their gut. Shedletsky ignored the giddiness that built up inside him from their words.

"Cool," he breathed. "Go get some rest," he pat Noob on the back, spurring them on towards the cabin door.

"You too," they nodded, and ducked out.

Shedletsky watched them go for a moment, still standing in the middle of the floor. Eventually, he reached down to grab the makeup palette, and he stared down at it for a while longer. That night, it was kept out at his bedside table, keeping the ex-admin from falling asleep.

{ }

"Shed."

A hand was shaking Shedletsky awake.

Each survivor had a cabin they resided in, rooming with one other survivor. At the time, Shedletsky had chosen to room with Builderman, since they had an extensive background together.

That was, before realizing how much Builderman loved waking him up at, quote unquote, "Appropriate times."

A stubborn grumble erupted from Shedletsky, but the engineer didn't allow him the liberty of more rest and tried again. "C'mon, Shed. Elliot's makin' breakfast, time to get up."

Damn Builder. He knew how to deal with Shedletsky all too well.

Grunting with effort, the ex-admin finally pulled himself off his pillow, eyes heavy with sleep still weighing on them.

There Builderman stood in all his glory, blocking out the ceiling light from Shedletsky's view. The ex-admin squints through the brightness anyway, and his old friend plows ahead regardless. "Mornin'," was all he had to say for himself. It made Shedletsky huff and rub his eyes before throwing off the blankets. He moved his legs over the side of the bed and perched himself up with his arms, glaring at the man.

"Don't be smug," he grouched, and the old man gave him space to finish getting up.

Nowadays, Builderman wasn't as talkative of a person. He spoke when it was needed and not much beyond that, something Shedletsky could respect even as a certified yapper by everyone who knew him. Which is why it wasn't concerning when the man stayed quiet as Shedletsky stretched and cracked his back.

Just as he was about to indicate they should head out, Builderman cut him off instead.

"Is that makeup?" Came his gruff voice, and an odd feeling of dread filled the ex-admin. His eyes followed the engineer's gaze to the night stand, an eyeshadow palette and a few other makeup products piled together.

"Um," Shedletsky's voice was oddly soft and quiet, and it made him feel sick. He couldn't even mourn like a normal person.

He cleared his throat and spoke, making sure his speech wasn't so this time. "It's Bright's," he admits, shoulders slumping, as though that was explanation enough. Builderman stared at him for what seemed like too long, tongue rolling around in his mouth.

Then, his friend put a hand on his shoulder. Shedletsky could feel the warmth even through his thick hood, and his mangled wings flutter softly beneath the cloth. "I know you miss her, Shed. Keep 'er close," was all he said, slipping his hand away. "C'mon, breakfast ought to be done by now."

Watching Builderman leave the small cabin, Shedletsky stands behind for a moment, feeling oddly numb, maybe even embarrassed. He couldn't tell.

He slipped the makeup products into the drawer alongside her purse before closing the door behind him.

Walking into the main cabin, Shedletsky remembered the promise he made to Noob the night before as his eyes landed on them at one of the dining tables. They were still wearing his wife's jacket, and all those feelings from last night came rushing back as well.

Builderman caught the sight of Noob at that same moment, his gaze turning scrutinizing as his brain pieced together the similarities.

Shedletsky bumped him as he stepped forward, gesturing for Builderman to follow him as he made his way to Noob's table, which was completely vacant except for the lone robloxian.

Noob noticed the two of them and seemed to clam up, especially around Builderman even as he greeted them with a kind smile.

"Likin' the look," Builderman nodded approvingly, to which Noob nodded vigorously.

"Thank you!" they blurted out hastily. It was a little funny how stiff they were within the man's presence.

Shedletsky glanced between them and his friend, a passive smile on his face. "I was thinking, would you wanna have that talk with us in my cabin after breakfast?" he suggested. Noob mumbled a quick agreement, and the ex-admin grinned in satisfaction. "Awesome! We'll see you then, 'kay?"

He led Builderman away from the table, proud of setting a plan into action. Neither of them spoke as they gathered their food which consisted of a simple plate of pancakes and some breakfast sausage, but Shedletsky failed to notice the engineer's souring mood even as they sat down at one of the tables together.

"What was that?" Builderman hissed as Shedletsky began stuffing his face, making him pause with a pancake in his mouth. He began slowly chewing it away as the comment processed.

He swallowed down the bite of food. "Noob just needs a little bit of your help, no big deal," he explained, though how unsure he was showed through his voice.

"Not what I meant," Builderman said, sitting back in his chair. The bill of his hat covered his eyes when he angled his head down for a moment. "I mean the jacket, Shed."

Slowly, Shedletsky's shoulders fell, confusion still riddling his posture. "It was just to make them feel better, I don't..."

"For all of Robloxia's sake, Shedletsky, they look just like Brighteyes!" the old man cut the ex-admin off, voice still miraculously quiet enough that any surrounding conversations drowned it out. Awkwardly, Shedletsky pursed his lips.

"Builds, it's not about that," he finds himself explaining, something about the conversation making his wings curl inward. "They just needed some help changing up their appearance since they couldn't do it alone... They wanted to ask you for a more permanent solution, that's all."

Builderman stared at him, an exhaustion in his eyes that made Shedletsky rarely saw. It made him apprehensive and nervous.

"Shed," the engineer said slowly. After a moment of working his mouth and nothing coming out, he lets out a defeated sigh. Instead of whatever he was going to say, he says, "You can always talk to me about anything, you know that, right?"

He had made a point to look Shedletsky in the eye as he spoke, and Shedletsky stared back as more anxiety built up throughout his body.

"... Of course," the ex-admin complied, and Builderman's shoulders fell slightly. The gray robloxian nodded.

"Good," he replied.

The conversation fell away after that, the two returning to eat in relative silence as the only quiet table in a dining room full of idle conversation and forks scraping.

Eventually, as people were finishing up and giving thanks to Elliot and Guest, who had helped with prep, Builderman went ahead to the cabin as Shedletsky made his way to Noob's table.

He put a taloned hand on the table to grab their attention. "C'mon, Builderman's waiting for us there."

"You haven't told him yet?" Noob whispered on the short walk over.

"Nah, that's your personal stuff. Didn't wanna do it without you," Shedletsky easily replied.

As they approached, Builderman was standing outside the door and politely waiting for them. He nodded in acknowledgement and opened the door, following and closing the door behind them.

Noob glanced around curiously at the inside of the cabin, a quiet amazement at a peek into the two admins' lifestyles. Shedletsky found himself smiling in amusement despite himself, entertained by the hero-worship his close friend was often subject to.

As Builderman sat down on his own bed on the other side of Shedletsky's, Shedletsky coughed into his hand to catch Noob's attention. They jumped and reddened, flustered at being caught so blatantly in awe at what was effectively a normal cabin space.

"Um, Builderman..." Noob fumbled, fiddling with the zipper of Brighteyes' jacket. Shedletsky's brow raised.

"Do you want me to do it?" he asked politely.

After a moment of staring back at him, Noob visibly steeled themself, shaking their head in response.

"Sometimes I feel like a girl," they addressed Builderman, looking him in the eyes as he listened calmly. He leaned forward and intertwined his hands, resting his arms on his knees to listen more intently. "And that's normal for me, but I don't have anything that... matches what I feel like, not since being sent here."

An understanding nod. "And you want my help?"

Noob nodded vigorously, happy Builderman caught on himself. "You're always doing your best to make this place as comfortable as possible for the rest of us, and I know you still have at least some ability to create here," they said, straightening up the more they spoke, their voice becoming less shy and quiet. "Just... If it's not too much, could you make me some clothes? Or makeup?"

Builderman stood up, putting his hand reassuringly on Noob's arm. Shedletsky's smile turned into a pleased grin at the interaction, feeling very much proud of Noob for being able to ask things for themself.

"How about we take this time to brainstorm up some clothing ideas before the next round?" Builderman proposed, prompting Noob to grin bashfully. "I dunno much about makeup though, so you'll have to help me with that. Sound good?"

"Yes please."

The two of them got to work planning out everything, and Noob ended up getting a full breakdown of just how Builderman's powers worked. He could make almost anything as long as he knew what the dimensions, shapes and materials were, and then with a hammer hanging from his toolbelt, he could build it from the ground up.

Even though Shedletsky knew this process in depth, he found himself hanging around and watching as they brainstormed, feeling content to just observe the two in silence.

It had taken a while, but eventually, Noob had a small collection of clothes they could wear and a few makeup kits before a round could start.

Noob eventually left to try on some articles of clothing, leaving the two old friends sitting in the silence left behind.

Shedletsky was more than willing to simply exist in each other's presence, but Builderman still had something to say.

"I'm sorry about earlier," his gruff voice drifted softly into Shedletsky's ears, and he looked towards Builderman, feeling vaguely confused.

The engineer shifts his weight before he speaks again, his hands keeping him propped up on the bed.

"I shouldn't have accused you like that. You had good intentions," he admitted. Shedletsky frowned, ducking his head in thought.

"But?" he pushed.

Regrettably, Builderman sighed heavily. "But I'm worried about you, Shed."

Shedletsky paused, staring at his friend hesitantly. He worked his mouth, trying to find something to say, but before he could begin to respond, the door to the cabin opened once more.

Both of their heads snap towards the front of the cabin as Noob steps back in, wearing a black hoodie and a frilly blue skirt. They had put on a pair of tall white socks and a couple red hair clips in their bangs that Builderman made as well, aiding the ponytail in styling their hair even further. The makeup from before was touched up some as well.

Smiling apprehensively, Noob moved a strand of hair out of their face before moving to hold their hands together. "I think we did alright," they said proudly.

Builderman smiled warmly. "Well, y'don't look too bad," he agreed cheekily, tipping his hardhat. Noob grinned wider before glancing down at the coat in their arms.

Shedletsky blinked when they approached him, his eyes drawing to the jacket as well. He gently grabbed it as Noob handed it over to him.

"Thank you," they spoke, just above a whisper. Something about their tone made Shedletsky glance up, meeting their gaze. Noob's grin was all too soft, something impossibly understanding within it. "I hope you find her."

Swallowing weakly, the ex-admin nodded, something inside him telling him that they were all too aware of how it felt.

"I will," he hoped.

It was at that moment that Builderman cleared his throat into his palm, and the two snapped their heads toward him.

"It'd be best if we go back to the main cabin while we wait for the next round," he beckoned as he stood, leading the way out of the confined space.

Chapter Text

It had been about a week since helping Noob, and Shedletsky hadn't thought much of the situation since. He successfully helped someone, and everything else beyond that was besides the point.

The survivors ended up gathered in the main cabin after a round had failed to occur more than half way through the day, so they were all taking it as a day off despite how strange it was.

He decided not to think about it, joining most of the other survivors in doing the same thing.

It was mostly Chance guiding the conversation. He was good at that, keeping everyone busy and lightening the mood. He was positioned on the couch with Elliot and Dusekkar, while Guest was sitting in a loveseat by the side. Builderman was sitting at one of the tables in the dining room, tinkering with something and content just to overhear, Noob had sat on the stairs, and Taph was more than content to sit on the floor by Guest.

Shedletsky was hanging off the back of the couch between Chance and Dusekkar, grinning along as the gambler spoke.

007n7 only peeped his head in once before scampering back to his cabin, and Two Time was more than happy to sit alone upstairs.

"Okay, okay, answer me this," the gambler's elated voice continued, spilling a string of meaningless questions in order to entertain themself and others. "Which killer is most likely to fall for Noli's hallucination clones?"

"Like we fall for Seven's?" Elliot grinned, a small annoyed crease in his brow.

"More like if they were fighting or something," the gambler clarified.

"I think 1x probably would," Noob spoke up thoughtfully, "They fall for my ghostburger a lot..."

"That sounds likely," Guest nodded affirmatively. Shedletsky hummed, agreeing but not jumping in.

"The killer John Doe might, for his deteriorating mind causes a lack of insight," Dusekkar had joined in, shaking his head.

"Yeah, but he's too calculating for that! Like, sure, he's got that blind rage, but if he's thinking clearly enough?" Chance scoffed, grinning all the while, "No chance." Suddenly, he shouted and jumped away from Elliot, rubbing his arm. "Hey!"

Elliot simply grinned, having just pinched them. He poked them with his elbow in response. "I told you to stop making that joke," he said, amusement guiding his voice.

Chance pouted, continuing to rub his arm and settle back into place. "How else do you want me to phrase it?" To which Elliot rolled his eyes.

"I have one," Taph suddenly signed, lighting up happily. "Which killer is most likely to actually pick up and eat one of Elliot's pizzas?"

Shedletsky snickered at the image, and Elliot turned red in the face.

"I've thrown enough slices directly at the killers on accident to know," laughter bubbled out of a pizza worker awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. "Especially when I'm the last one, gosh..."

"So it's definitely C00lkidd, right?" Chance asked, positioning his arm to hang on the back of the couch behind Elliot.

"I've seen C00lkidd literally throw himself across the map for a pizza once," Shedletsky commented idly, chuckling to himself.

Elliot grinned, cringing a little at the mention of the unfortunate red boy. "Usually, yeah, but sometimes the other killers will entertain me, I guess."

"How so?" Guest spoke curiously, tilting his head much like a dog.

The delivery boy seemed to clam up, that redness building up on his cheeks again. "Well... sometimes, if I'm really desperate, I'll ask them if they want a pizza. And if I'm lucky, they'll take it and just leave me alone? For a while?"

Realizing just how crazy that sounds, Elliot coughed abruptly into the back of his hand. "That's... probably weird, right?"

"That happens with my traps sometimes," signed Taph suddenly. When the other survivors stared at them, they just shrugged. "They like my sticks," they explained, as if that answered any questions.

"... I suppose it makes sense, and it is of no expense," Dusekkar slowly moved on, a finger brought thoughtfully to his chin.

"When it works," Elliot mumbled.

"Okay, okay, wait, I got a good one," Chance suddenly sat straighter in his spot, leaning forward in an almost conspiratory manner. "Who's the most handsomest survivor?"

It was quiet for a moment, before Taph tilted her head. "Do you expect us to say you?"

Chance sputtered, a blush flying to his face. "No! I'm just asking, y'know? A guy's gotta know!"

"Alright then, smart guy, who do you think it is then?" Shedletsky boldly questioned, smirking and turning his head on its side, resting it on the fat of his arm atop the backside of the couch.

The gambler scoffed lightly, "Without counting myself?" they asked rhetorically before turning to look across the other survivors' faces thoughtfully. They hummed, glancing at Elliot from the corner of their eye. "I mean, I think Elliot's pretty handsome, and Guest of course," Chance decided, shooting a wink toward the soldier.

"Awww," Elliot cooed and began to lean all over Chance, purposefully pushing way too far into his personal space. "You think I'm handsome?" he drawled out, fluttering his lashes up at the gambler.

Chance shoves the pizza man off, grinning wide and laughing. "Get off me, you ass!"

"That's so gay," Noob suddenly piped up, a giggle in their voice and grinning stupidly. Chance laughed lightheartedly.

"Hey, if there's one thing I know how to do it's how to appreciate a good looking dude! Anyone else got something to add?" He asked, glancing around again.

"Builderman has his own type of handsome to him," Taph answered almost excitedly, "Guest is objectively handsome."

Guest finally shifted, though his posture had become much more relaxed the longer they conversed. He scratched the back of his neck, "Am I really that handsome?"

"It is true, you do have an attractive look to you," Dusekkar supplied helpfully.

"You look like you would be in a men's lotion commercial," Shedletsky piped up, "Best way I can describe it."

"Do you have personal experience?" Elliot asked innocently as he leaned back to look up at the ex-admin, receiving a light smack on the arm for his efforts.

"I'm just agreeing, you little jerk," Shedletsky snarked back, the pizza man grinning cheesily.

"I think that's pretty accurate," Noob mumbled into their sleeve, though their amusement was clear on their face.

"Well... Thank you," Guest relinquished the topic awkwardly, his brows knit together in a way that said he still couldn't quite grasp it.

Taph pointed at Shedletsky shortly after. "What about you? Who do you find attractive?"

Shedletsky blinked, suddenly thoughtful, and he slowly stood from his position over the couch, though his arms remained crossed over his chest. "Attractive, huh?" he muttered, his gaze falling. Staring at his arms, he shifted as he thought further.

Well, the old hacker was attractive, if Shedletsky was willing to admit that. That wasn't something he could risk saying to the other survivors though. Guest was hot, yeah, everyone literally just agreed on that. Truthfully, he could find a little bit of attraction in each of the survivors. He'd be lying if he said some of the killers never made him feel that way too.

It was just that none of them could really top her. He could feel the presence of his ring again, sitting firm between the thick fabric of his hoodie and his chest.

A loud, conspiratory coo shot through his train of thought, and suddenly the ex-admin could feel the way his lips had curled into a softer grin without realizing. His face was warm and fluffy, and suddenly it felt like he had been caught.

"Someone on the mind?" Chance wiggled their eyebrows suggestively. Whether the other survivors realized it or not, they had all begun regarding Shedletsky with rapt interest, some even leaning forward to listen. It made his fluffy smile waver and shift into one of nerves.

"Uh," he replied dumbly, glancing toward where Builderman was, then to Dusekkar, who was sitting back and smiling fondly, clutching his staff. It eased something inside of the man, and he realized that out of everything he had left to hide, this was one thing he didn't have to be so afraid to leave exposed.

He breathes in.

"I guess you could say that," laughter forced its way out of him, trying to hold back the nerves buried deep inside.

"Who is it?" Noob's voice cut through the suspense, even softer than normal, a different question in their tone. Shedletsky meets them in the eyes, a gentle moment of fear, resignation and longing crossing his face, feeling unbearably naked. Barely recognizable for those who never had the misfortune to feel the same.

Noob closes their mouth, returning the look with one of understanding.

"My wife, actually," he moved on, turning his head away from the gazes of the other survivors and continuing on with the topic. "Obviously she's... not here right now, but..."

The ex-admin trailed off, suddenly growing clammy, and his throat had gone dry. He swallowed thickly, rubbed his lips together and tried to continue speaking, but it became extremely difficult to open his mouth.

Something touched Shedletsky's shoulder, causing him to jump up and break out of his struggle. He was faced with Guest, who had at some point gotten up from the loveseat without the man noticing and rounded the couch to offer a comforting hand.

"I understand what you're feeling," the soldier spoke in a firm but soft voice, and Shedletsky was brought back to previous passing glances of that golden band across Guest's ring finger.

He had originally tried to just ignore it, ignore everything that had to do with the subject and just avoid thinking about it. Now, he could just feel Guest's wedding ring gently pressing against the fabric of his hoodie, and he resisted the sudden urge to stare down at it.

"But you must be strong, for those who need you now and those waiting for you at home."

Finally, Guest removed his hand. Shedletsky forced himself to step away, slapping a wavy smile onto his face with another swallow.

"Thanks," he nearly mumbled, his feet already moving away from the other survivors, away from the conversation, away from the cabin and toward the front door. "This was fun, but I'm gonna head out," Shedletsky announced, his voice and movements feeling numb and sluggish even as he hurried for the exit.

The ex-admin doesn't look back when he passes the threshold, and it's followed by an uneventful trip back to his shared cabin. The crickets and howling winds did little to quell his thoughts, and the door remained firmly locked after making his way inside.

Shedletsky stood there after locking himself in, staring down at his feet near vacantly.

His eyes shifted when the sound of knuckles rapping against the cabin door echoed into his ears, though he didn't move to open it.

A voice filtered through the door regardless.

"My friend, I know you may not be in the mood in there, but all I ask is that you listen to my words with care," Dusekkar, patient and worried. Shedletsky slowly rests the back of his head on the door at the sound, leaning his weight against the barrier, tired and drained but listening anyway.

"There is no doubt that was hard to do, but you and I both know there is more to you," the sorcerer's voice was hushed, speaking slowly and quietly, deliberately. "You hold so much inside, but there is only so much you can do by yourself in stride; you won't be able to run one day, and when that time comes, who's to say?"

Shedletsky swallows the lump in his throat, the words echoing in his head.

"... I hope that one day, you will learn how to let someone in," the man continued, and the ex-admin could hear his old friend place a palm against the door. "It may not be easy, but you have people who already do not judge you for what you hide within."

After a quiet and painful moment, the sound of footsteps retreated from the cabin.

Shedletsky slides to the floor, and he stays that way leaning against the old wooden door for an indeterminate amount of time. At some point, he figured it was about time to get up. Builderman would probably be out for much longer in the main cabin as he worked on whatever he was messing with earlier, but in the time spent waiting, Shedletsky had heard most everyone else return to their cabins for at least some sleep before the next skybox cycle.

His back and bones creaked in contest as he stood, but he paid them no mind as he stretched. Opening the door, a chorus of crickets and the occasional frog greeted his ears, the howling wind that persisted this realm carrying them with it and across his body.

Not wanting to remain locked in the shared cabin but not wanting to step foot into the main cabin any time soon, Shedletsky finds himself gravitating towards the pier.

There wasn't any good reason to be out there. Maybe it would be good to think about Dusekkar's words, but it was a struggle to focus on them. Not when his eyes hovered over the horizon, where the pitch black sky and darker water met, and the tranquil sounds of the current drowned out all thought.

He just felt. And he felt bad. Empty, tired. Shameful.

He couldn't even speak about the thing he loved most. It was pitiful, a sad excuse of an admin.

It was almost guaranteed that he knew more about the survivors than they did about Shedletsky. Sure, they knew he was friends with Dusekkar and Builderman, that he used to be an admin and work alongside them at Roblox HQ, but beyond that, he never said a thing. More often than not, no one would ask either. Everyone was relatively secretive, regardless of being trapped here for who knows how long now.

Everyone had secrets, but that didn't make the ex-admin feel any less pathetic, no matter how untrusting everyone else was, it just fueled all his greatest fears. Last time he recalled, he was supposed to be bold. He was supposed to be brave.

The sound of shoes on the withering wood interrupted the train of thought, and Shedletsky simply turned his head to the noise.

Chance stood behind him and a little to the side, one hand in each pocket. He looked relatively laidback, his signature smug look feeling out of place within the dull atmosphere.

Shedletsky stared at them in silence, his brows lightly furrowed in wait for some kind of opening comment.

Chance takes the silence in stride, kicking a leg out idly before tucking it behind the other. They tilt their head to the side. "You left in quite a hurry back there," he noted, not directly a question but clearly stating his intention. It makes Shedletsky squeeze his eyes shut, irritation wafting over his body, and he turns away again.

"Why did you come out here, Chance?" Shedletsky's voice comes out tired and clipped, impatient. The last thing that would've helped right now was an interrogation.

It's quiet for a moment, merely the echoes of water between them, washing out the silence. Shedletsky almost would've assumed the unwelcomed guest had left if not for the lack of movement.

Finally, a sigh escapes from Chance's lips, and they approach to stand by Shedletsky's side. They take another moment before saying what they truly wanted to say.

"Sorry for questioning you back there," he speaks, his calm smile turning more rigid and fake. Shedletsky looks at him from the corner of his eye.

"Why are you sorry for that?" the man asks, confusion outlining his voice. It causes Chance to shift again, dragging one hand out of its place in their pocket to adjust their hat.

"Well, y'know, it was me questioning you that got you to freak out, so..." he sounded awkward, catching on to the needlessness of the apology.

Shedletsky nods, not speaking further after that. It's silent once more, the two of them doing nothing but staring out at the waters together. The ex-admin wanted to stay, and Chance didn't feel quite confident enough to leave. There wasn't everything that needed to be said put out on the table yet.

"Y'know," Chance began lightly, and Shedletsky's eyes are drawn once again to the gambler as they speak to find them looking back toward him; the moon glowed against their skin, and Shedletsky could just see the outlines of their eyes through the light filtering through their lenses, "I think everyone here misses someone."

He could hear the knowing tone in his voice, something once again understanding between the two.

"Whether it's someone we hurt, or... or someone that hurt us, or just someone we care about," their voice was almost wistful, and they licked their lips, swallowing dryly before tearing their hazy gaze away. Their head dipped ever-so slightly downward, just enough where the moonlight couldn't reach their eyes beyond the rim of their fedora, "I think that's something we can all relate to."

It felt like seeing an entirely new side of Chance. A world so rarely offered glances into, you could dismiss it's existence altogether. Shedletsky didn't know what to make of it, what to say, and Chance wasn't looking for an answer.

He places a hand on the man's shoulder and gives it a light shake, then two pats in the same spot. "You aren't alone in this, even if it feels like it."

"Thanks," Shedletsky mumbles, feeling oddly vacant.

Chance's hand slips away, and Shedletsky's gaze follows them as they step back.

"Anyway, I know no one answered you for my question, but if it helps, I find you pretty attractive!"

Despite the situation, the ex-admin finds himself smiling, something small and frail, but happy for the lighter subject. "You think I'm handsome?"

A grin pulled its way onto Chance's lips. He hummed, "I think you look kinda pretty, actually," a gray finger came up and flicked one of Shedletsky's bangs, the curl bouncing in place. "You should totally grow your hair out."

The thought causes the man's brain to short circuit momentarily.

"Huh," he replied distantly. Despite that, Chance continues on.

"Well, guess I'm heading out. Try n' get some sleep, huh? Wouldn't want ya to be falling asleep on the field, am I right?" Chance instructed humorously, nudging the ex-admin with their elbow.

"And remember, we're here for ya, and if no one else is, then hell, I am."

With those final words, Chance gives a nod before finally wandering off, Shedletsky watching him go.

It takes a moment before he glances back out to the water, the moon lower in the sky than before.

The walk back to his cabin is just as uneventful as before, but he makes his way inside much quieter when he realizes that at some point, Builderman had trudged back in and passed straight out in the bed across from his own.

Listening to his friend's snores, he stares up at the ceiling through the darkness and thinks about all of the events that happened throughout the day.

It only takes about an hour before he gives in, exhaustion from the busy day weighing his eyelids down.