Archive of Our Own ^beta

Before Buford, Biffany had never worried much about who moved in or out of her neighborhood. Sure, she had been curious about new neighbors, and she'd always hoped they were good ones, but she hadn't truly understood what it meant to want a good, safe neighborhood until she had her son.

When the house down the street from hers went up for sale, she started to wonder about the sort of person or people that would buy it.

The houses in her neighborhood were on the pricier side; she had only been able to purchase her home due to waiting until she was a little bit older to have a child and due to being fairly successful in her career. So she figured it likely wouldn't be a young couple buying the house.

It was a bigger house, with four bedrooms according to the listing, so maybe it would be a family that moved in.

If she were truly lucky, it might be a family with a baby close to Buford's age, an eventual friend for her son.

Biffany kept an eye out as the realtor showed the house off to all sorts of people and families, and while she tried not to judge – after all, you couldn't know a person until you actually met them – there were a few potential buyers that she wouldn't mind seeing move in.

In the end, she didn't know who ended up purchasing the house. She spent more days than not at work, and she hadn't been able to see every person interested in buying the place.

All she knew was that she went to work one day with the 'For Sale' sign still in front of the house, and when she got home, the sign said 'Sale Pending'.

A few days after that, the sign said 'Sold'.

Another few days later and Biffany saw a moving truck pull up along with a pickup. She covertly watched as an older couple got out of the truck, and she honestly was a bit surprised. She hadn't expected someone like them to buy such a large house just for themselves.

They didn't go in, though. Instead, standing around chatting with the movers for a few minutes, and she wondered what they were waiting on.

It was nearly fifteen minutes before an SUV pulled up, and out stepped a woman around Biffany's age, smiling at the older couple and going around to the back seat. She unloaded two children, a young girl and a baby, and she was more what Biffany had expected from the new owner.

She didn't get the chance to meet her new neighbor for another few days. Biffany hadn't wanted to bother her while she was still unloading furniture, and then Buford ended up with an ear infection that left her with very little time to think, let alone meet a new person.

Once the antibiotics started working and Buford stopped spending most of the day crying, Biffany was finally able to make a casserole as a welcome to the neighborhood gift, and she took the first chance she got to go over and deliver it.

She knocked on the woman's door, waiting patiently for her to answer.

A few moments later, the door swung open, and the woman took a second but smiled and said, "Hi, can I help you?"

She held out her free hand to shake the woman's. "My name's Biffany Van Stomm. I live down the street?" she told her. "I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood."

The woman's smile became a bit more genuine, and she said, "Thanks. I'm Linda Flynn."

"I brought a casserole for you," Biffany said, offering Linda the dish.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that," Linda demurred.

"I insist," she said. "I don't mean to be too nosy, but I happened to see you had two young children when you moved in, and as someone who has a baby at home herself, I know how hectic it can be. I thought you might like not having to cook dinner at least one night while you're still settling into your new home."

Linda finally took the dish and smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you," she said. "I really appreciate it." She looked down at the casserole and her face softened. Looking back up at Biffany, she said, "You said you have a baby too? Do you want to come in for some coffee? Maybe we could talk about setting up some play-dates for when they're a little bigger."

"That'd be great," Biffany said and followed her inside.

Marian Weaver quite liked her neighbor Linda. She was a lovely woman, always willing to chat with her for a bit when they ran into each other outside, but Marian didn't know much about her personally. She tried not to pry, so most of their conversations were about their respective gardens or local events.

Which was why, when Marian awoke one morning to a moving truck sitting outside the Flynn house, she worried her neighbor was moving out, and less than two years after she'd moved in!

A little while later, she realized they weren't removing anything from the house, instead moving a great number of boxes into it, and Marian wondered what on earth was happening.

The rest of the week had construction workers hanging around, staying at the house for hours and hours each day, and Marian hadn't seen hide nor hair of Linda.

The only thing she could think of being a possible explanation was that Linda was having extensive renovating and redecorating done and that she had taken her children somewhere else to stay while it was ongoing.

A week and a half after the moving truck, the construction workers had stopped showing up, and Marian finally caught sight of Linda again.

She was lucky enough to have been outside working on her front flower beds when Linda's car pulled up in front of her own house, and out stepped Linda and a man Marian had seen around a few times, but she'd never managed to actually meet him.

The front door of Linda's house burst open and her little girl came barreling down the front walk, heading straight for her mother, followed closely behind by another man, who had a toddler thrown up on either hip.

"Mommy!" the little girl – Marian thought her name was possible Candy? Candace? – shouted, slamming into Linda's shins. "I haven't seen you in forever."

Linda scooped her up into her arms and said, "I know, honey, but Mommy was on her honeymoon. You remember us talking about that, right?"

Linda had gotten married? Marian was more than a little surprised, not even having known she was seeing someone. She assumed it was to the man Linda was standing with, and not the one with Linda's boy and another one in tow.

"Yeah, yeah," probably-Candace said sassily. "That's why Uncle Perry took us on a trip. But I still missed you."

"I missed you too, honey," Linda told her, kissing the top of her head. "Now, do you wanna say hi to Dad so I can greet the boys? I've missed them lots too."

"Okay," Candace agreed and held her arms out to the man.

Marian was surprised even more. Linda's children were already calling her new husband 'Dad'? Well, she supposed the boy was young enough that it didn't matter either way, but Marian really truly wondered how long Linda's relationship with that man had been going on for that to be the case for Candace.

Linda didn't try to take her son from the other man, instead just saying, "Hi, babies. How have my boys been?" pressing a kiss to the tops of both boys heads and her son started babbling.

The man holding them smiled and shrugged.

"I hope it wasn't too much trouble to watch all three of them, Perry," she said to the man.

The man – Perry – shook his head, then nodded back toward the house, and Marian was curious why he didn't speak at all.

"You're right. We can unpack after lunch," Linda said. She turned back to the man holding Candace and said, "Lawrence, let's go inside and eat."

"Yes, dear," he said, looking at Linda the way Marian's husband looked at her.

As the family went inside, Marian still had quite a few questions as to what was going on in Linda's life, but she knew, if nothing else, she was happy for the woman, especially for finding someone who seemed to love her so much.

Miss Walters adored every single one of her kindergartners. She always did. Ever since she'd started student teaching, she found it a joy to get to go to work and help the children she was in charge of. Obviously there were hard days, and not every student was perfect, but overall she loved her job.

It was why she was so worried when she had students like the Flynn-Fletcher boys.

At first when she'd seen them on her roster for the year, she hadn't thought anything of it. The two boys had different last names, so she'd assumed they were from different families. But on the first day of school, their mother, Linda Flynn-Fletcher, arrived, introduced herself, and introduced Miss Walters to her son and step-son.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher had warned her that Ferb was a quiet boy, but that he would be alright, and that he'd speak up if he truly needed something.

However, Miss Walters hadn't heard him say a word all year.

Every time, it was little Phineas saying, "Miss Walters, Ferb needs to get a drink," "Miss Walters, Ferb needs to use the bathroom," "Miss Walters, Ferb's going to be sick." (Of course, that one time, the poor boy ended up puking, and the boy's… uncle? came by to pick both boys up, just to be safe.)

The longer the school year went on, the more and more she worried about Ferb.

She thought at first he might just be shy, and so she waited for him to warm up to her, but still, he never said a word. Sometimes, he'd come stand close by her and stare intently, but he never would end up telling her what he wanted. Instead, Phineas would come by a minute or two later and tell her what Ferb supposedly was requesting.

He also never spoke to any of the other children in the class. He'd quietly play with them if they came by, but it was always his brother that spoke to the other kids.

She tried putting the two at separate tables, just to give Ferb some space to grow socially, away from his brother, but Ferb seemed to shut down even more at that, refusing to even interact with the other children, and completely ignoring her when she came by his table.

Then that day at lunchtime, she watched as Phineas tearfully ran over to his brother, grabbing his hand and staying glued to the boy all through lunch and recess.

After that, she put them back at the same table, side-by-side.

She just didn't know what else she could do. Clearly, having them together wasn't helping Ferb, but having them apart was even worse.

However, soon it'd be time for this year's kindergartners to move onto first grade, and she didn't think Ferb was there socially or developmentally, so she called a conference with his parents.

She felt like she didn't have any other choice but to recommend he be held back a year.

She'd called the Flynn-Fletcher household during lunch that day, hoping to catch one of the parents, but knowing she'd probably have to leave a message. If she remembered correctly, Mr. Fletcher was a professor at Danville University, and while Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was a housewife, every time Miss Walters spoke to her, the woman mentioned some club or charity or event she had just come from. She seemed like a very busy person.

When she called, she got an answering service, though, and was a bit surprised. She hadn't thought about how the boys' uncle would talk on the phone, being mute, and back when Ferb had gotten sick that once, the front office had called the family. But she did her best to follow the person on the other end's instructions on how to talk for the teletyper system to work, and she managed to set up an appointment for that afternoon to discuss Ferb's needs.

At first, Miss Walters had been reluctant to set the appointment up with only the boy's uncle, but she remembered the principal had been very firm that the man was to be treated as another parent to the boys. Something about legal documentation listing him as an additional guardian to them and not wanting to bring a lawsuit upon the school.

She was still relieved, though, when he said that their mother would be coming as well.

She couldn't quite figure out how Mr. Flynn-Fletcher was related to either Mr. Fletcher or Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher… The politest way to put it was that he didn't look a lick like either one of them, and also, for some strange reason, he shared Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher's hyphenated name, which Miss Walters couldn't make any sense of.

(In her less polite moments, Miss Walters speculated on the true nature of the man's relationship with Mr. Fletcher and his wife, but she would never speak a word of those thoughts to anyone.)

By the time the school day ended and she was ushering the children out to the front of the school to be collected by their parents, she'd already mentally composed what she wanted to say to Ferb's mother, coming up with what she believed was the best way to convince Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher that this was best for her son.

No parent wanted to hold back their child, but Miss Walters firmly believed it was best to happen now instead of noticing significant delays in a year or two and having to hold him back then, after he'd already gotten established with a class and friend group.

Kindergarten was the easiest time for things like this.

She lead the children out of the patch of pavement in front of the school's entrance, keeping an eye on all of them and surveying the parents already there. She always wanted to make sure each child went to the appropriate person.

When she heard Phineas shout, "Mom!" she turned to see him waving wildly at a small group that was approaching the pick-up area. She was surprised to see Mr. Fletcher with the other two, but there he was.

Miss Walters passed her last remaining child off to the girl's grandmother and turned back to the Flynn-Fletchers.

"Hello, Miss Walters," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said.

"Hello," she responded, smiling politely.

Mr. Fletcher looked down at the boys and said cheerily, "Mum and Uncle Perry have to talk to your teacher, so how's about the three of us go play on the playground? Your sister's already waiting for us there."

Mr. Flynn-Fletcher's hands started moving rapidly, as he first looked at Mr. Fletcher, then at Ferb, who she watched blinked firmly – something she'd noticed the boy did from time to time, but she still couldn't figure out quite why.

"Ah, you're right, old chap," Mr. Fletcher said, nodding, and Miss Walters was lost, even after he continued, "Phin, it looks like it's just you and me and Candace. How about you show me how good you've gotten at the monkey bars like you've been telling me about?"

Phineas quickly grabbed his dad by the hand and pulled him off, chattering away about all the 'cool stuff' he wanted to show the man, so Miss Walters went back to focusing on Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher and Mr. Flynn-Fletcher.

"Perry asked Ferb if he wanted to be there for our meeting with you since it's about him and told Lawrence that he should take just Phineas to go play," Linda said, probably noticing her confused look.

Miss Walters didn't think Ferb was quite old enough to decide whether or not he wanted to be sitting in on a parent-teacher conference, but if that's what they wanted, since it wouldn't be terribly disruptive to the meeting, she let it go.

"Alrighty," she said with a smile. "Then, let's move this discussion to my classroom."

Once Mr. and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher – no, she was trying to remember not to call them that in her mind; they weren't married. Once Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher and Mr. Flynn-Fletcher were seated at the small bean-shaped table she kept in her classroom for certain activities and for parent-teacher conferences like this one and Ferb was over in the play area, building with blocks, she presented a small file folder to them.

"So, I set up this meeting to discuss how Ferb's been doing in my class," Miss Walters said, opening the folder and pulling out her notes.

"… Has there been some sort of issue?" Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher asked intently, brow furrowed. Mr. Flynn-Fletcher sat silently, seeming to listen carefully as well.

Miss Walters carefully cleared her throat. "I'm concerned about the development of his social skills. I know I've left notes about it on his progress reports all year, but as we reach the point where it's time to decide if a child is prepared to move on to first grade, I'm reluctant to sign off on his readiness."

Mr. Flynn-Fletcher began to look unhappy about that, and Miss Walters hoped she wouldn't have an angry parent on her hands. (But she was secretly thankful the man couldn't yell.) It wasn't uncommon for a parent to get upset about this news, though.

As Linda asked, frowning, "Is this because he doesn't talk much? Ferb is perfectly okay, social skills wise," the boy in question came over and gently touched Mr. Flynn-Fletcher on the knee, and the man pulled him into his lap, brushing a hand through Ferb's hair, his unhappy expression disappearing.

"Well, I know I've recommended that he get evaluated for an IEP and see the school's speech therapist in the past, and while I understand your reluctance, I do believe he'd benefit from a few sessions with her," Miss Walters tried to continue.

Mr. Flynn-Fletcher immediately shook his head.

"Is he at least willing to sign then? I assume he knows how, since…" she asked, trailing off as she tried to think of the best way to describe his obvious ability to understand his uncle's use of sign language. "If you're able to get some documentation together, we could get him a 504 Plan and an interpreter for the classroom."

Mr. Flynn-Fletcher signed something around the child on his lap, and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said, "He says, 'Ferb doesn't need an interpreter. If he needs to speak, he can, and if he doesn't need to, then you shouldn't try to make him.' And I agree with him. Ferb is fine the way he is."

"Unfortunately, he seems to be struggling in the environment of the classroom," Miss Walters told them, trying to maintain the right balance of compassion, understanding, and firmness. "He doesn't speak at all to myself or the other children, and Phineas seems to do all the talking for him, which… isn't ideal, especially as he progresses through school. I understand that Asperger's can be a difficult thing to cope with, both for the child and their parent, but I just want the best for my students."

Both of them were looking at her with a sort of indignant expression, and Mr. Flynn-Fletcher's hands came up to sign again, but Ferb interrupted them all.

"I can speak just fine, thank you," he said quietly but firmly, shocking her. "I do not need any help in improving my ability to do so, and I am perfectly capable of talking as needed, as Uncle Perry tried to tell you; I just don't see the need to, most of the time. I feel prepared for first-grade, so unless you have some other reason to keep me in kindergarten, it seems silly to hold me back." He hopped off his uncle's lap. "I'm going back to playing with my blocks now," he said, before walking away.

Miss Walters felt dumbfounded.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher looked at her with a smirk and said, "As you can see, I don't think Ferb needs any additional accommodations or to see the speech therapist. If either of those things change in the future, our family will be more than happy to make sure to advocate that he gets the assistance he needs, but for now, things are fine the way he is."

Denise had just added a sideboard to her dining room and knew that a stained glass lamp would be perfect for the open space on the left side of it. Preferably, a genuine Tiffany lamp, and she didn't know any better place to start her search for one than Flynn-Fletcher Antiques.

Mr. Fletcher had always been a great help to her whenever she was searching for a specific piece for her home, and he even took requests from regular customers, of which Denise was one, even if she didn't go as often as she imagined some people did. He had told Denise to let him know if there was something she wanted and that he'd try to find it during his trips.

She'd met his wife a couple times, but the woman seemed less involved in the day-to-day of the business; however, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was who she saw when she arrived at the shop that day.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was reorganizing a display and paused when Denise came through the door, saying, "Hi there! Welcome to Flynn-Fletcher Antiques. Anything I can help you look for today?"

"Is Mr. Fletcher around?" she asked, looking in the direction of the counter to see if he was there. Instead, she spotted a teal-haired man she hadn't seen in the shop before sitting there, and she wondered if they'd hired on an assistant.

"Sorry, hon," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher told her apologetically. "Lawrence is home sick today, but Perry and I are more than happy to try and help if we can."

Denise told her, "That's okay. I'll just look around for a bit first," figuring she should at least see if they had any lamps in stock before she tried to make a special request.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled, saying, "Okay then. Just grab one of us if you need anything," before turning back to her reorganizing.

Denise didn't get very far into the store before the door opened again with the ding of the bell above it, and a handful of children tumbled in, their faces all pink from the slight fall chill outside.

"Hi, Mom!" the red-headed leader of the group said cheerfully. Mr. Fletcher had mentioned his children on a couple occasions so Denise assumed this must be one of them.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher turned to them. "Hi, kids! Did you have fun at the park?"

"Yeah, lots!" the boy said. "We came to see what you were up to."

"Oh, the shop's real quiet without your dad here, hon. So it's just the two of us holding down the fort," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said, waving a hand in the man at the counter's direction.

The kids' heads turned in his direction, and the girl in the group said, "Hi, Uncle Perry!"

Ah, so maybe he was a friend they'd offered the job to, instead of a random person.

At least, that's what she thought until Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher's son spoke again.

"Dad!" he said excitedly. "We didn't know you were going to be here today!"

The kids rushed over to crowd around around the man, and even in Denise's sudden confusion, she still happened to notice Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher scoffing good-naturedly and saying to herself, "What am I? Chopped liver?"

For a moment, Denise wondered if maybe Mr. Fletcher was actually Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher's children's step-parent, and this man – Perry – was their biological father, but he didn't look the slightest bit like the boy.

Then as she returned to walking around the store, she wondered what other explanation there could be.

Mr. Fletcher was the most straight-laced, boring man Denise had ever met. He ran an antiques shop for heaven's sake! There was no way he was in some sort of… polygamous relationship. Plus wasn't it usually another woman in the relationship?

She absentmindedly noted that the boy seemed extremely comfortable around that man, Perry, so whatever was going on, it couldn't be something new.

Somehow she'd wandered her way back over to the door, and in her distraction, she managed to choke out to Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, "I'll come back in a few days so I can talk to Mr. Fletcher."

Denise walked out of the shop, the only thought on her mind of calling the only other regular she knew of Flynn-Fletcher Antiques to see if she knew what the hell was going on.

Becky was spending her Saturday morning meandering around the Superduper Mega Superstore, browsing through the kids clothes to get a few new outfits for her son, Mark, when she saw Linda Flynn-Fletcher a few racks over, near the dressing rooms.

She knew Linda from Bridge Club, and she'd always been slightly envious of the woman. Linda seemed to have it all: a wealthy, business-minded husband; crazy-smart, talented kids; and a seemingly effortlessly beautiful home in one of the nice suburban neighborhoods in Danville.

Becky had always wondered where the cracks in that woman's foundations were. Linda had to have something hidden, some dark secret.

She always wondered if maybe that man that lived with Linda and her husband was the secret, but none of them would let anyone be any the wiser. Perry, Becky remembered his name was, was always flirting with Linda, kissing her cheek and wrapping his arm around her when they stood next to each other.

When pressed by one of the other women in Bridge, Linda shut them down quickly and mercilessly, stating that Perry was an old friend of her husband's, a dear family-friend, and an uncle to her children; and she wouldn't allow any further questions of the sort.

So Becky didn't press, because she knew that'd get her shut out too, and she wanted to know.

After a while, though, nothing came of it, so Becky tabled that idea and moved onto wondering about Linda's children's biological father. There had to be some sort of drama there.

No woman got married and had her children calling their step-dad 'Dad' instantly and effortlessly without there being some kind of mess with the birth father.

Becky was snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Linda arguing a touch-loudly with someone that was hidden by a display between her and them.

"Heinz, you're being ridiculous. That is not what I want our children thinking is an appropriate way to handle things," Linda said angrily.

Wide-eyed, Becky moved closer, pretending to still be browsing while eavesdropping and getting in a better position to see what was going on.

"And I'm just saying that I think he'd stop having problems with his teachers if he taught them a lesson the first time they did it," a nasally, male voice said.

Was Linda's precious son Phineas a trouble-maker? And who was this man? Linda had said 'our children' when talking to him…

"Dad," Linda's son Phineas said, coming out of the dressing room, "can you and Mom stop fighting for just a few minutes to give me your opinion on my outfit, please?"

Oh dear lord, Becky had just hit the jackpot. She shifted and finally was able to get a clear view of the man Linda was with, and what a loser he was. No wonder Linda had distanced herself from this man as soon as she was able to.

But he seemed to also be Linda's son's father, and Becky knew she had gossip to sustain her friends at Bridge Club for weeks.

"Terrible," was all the man said, sneering down at the outfit the boy was wearing.

And he was an awful father too! Becky could just imagine how it all went down. Linda and this man fighting endlessly, and him being a terrible husband and father, Linda requesting a divorce and now being stuck with him as baggage for the rest of her life.

Oh, she had to call Sharon and Mary right away, and tell them everything.

Becky hurried off.

Bonus:

Phineas tried on his fifth pair of dress pants, trying to find a pair that fit right but still not having any luck. The rest of the ensemble looked great though. Ever since they'd started shopping for clothes for the wedding, he'd been looking for the perfect outfit – and it had to be perfect. After all, his dads would only get married once. He'd finally found the right vest and shirt to go with the jacket he'd found on the last shopping trip they'd taken.

He stepped out of the dressing room to his parents bickering like usual, this time about the teachers at Phineas's school. Since they were about to go into middle school, Other Other Dad had been worried that the issues Ferb had sometimes had with their teachers would become more common once they had a half-dozen teachers instead of the one. Mom was so upset about the advice Other Other Dad always tried to give on dealing with the problem, but she didn't seem to understand that Phineas and Ferb definitely knew better.

Other Dad was the one to listen to when it came to those sorts of things. He always had the best solutions.

"Dad, can you and Mom stop fighting for just a few minutes to give me your opinion on my outfit, please?" he said, feeling the pants already starting to slide down his hips, and he knew he only had a moment before he'd have to hike them up again.

Other Other Dad looked over the outfit, giving a little pleased smile to it until he reached the pants, then he spat out, "Terrible."

Phineas didn't take it personally, but still, he looked down at the pants again. "I know. They're way too big, but I haven't been able to find any that are small enough that still have a long enough inseam."

"That's the growth spurt, honey," Mom said, and he smiled and nodded even though this was the fourth time she'd said it since they started shopping for outfits for the occasion. "Maybe we'll just have to get someone to take the waist in."

"I'm sure Isabella would do it!" he said. "She's great at that sort of thing." The Fireside Girls had to sew their own uniforms after all.

Lawrence woke up that morning ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off, already feeling abuzz with anticipation for the day ahead.

The other side of the bed was empty, so he figured Linda must've woken up in the night as she was wont to do, especially on the mornings of big events. That was alright by him, as it meant Heinz was likely up as well, so he'd have Perry to himself.

Not bothering to change out of his pajamas, Lawrence went across the hall to Perry's room, where his friend was still loudly snoring away, asleep on his stomach with his neck twisted 'round in a way that always made him wonder how Perry didn't wake up sore.

"Perry, wake up," he said, shaking his friend's shoulder and knowing he likely bore a striking resemblance to the boys on Christmas morning in his excitement.

Perry's snores abruptly cut off, and he cracked an eye open to look at Lawrence.

He barely got a moment's notice, only seeing a flash of a smirk on his friend's face before Perry was rolling and yanking him down across him onto the middle of the bed, trapping him in a cuddle.

Lawrence laughed. "We don't have time for this," he said, hugging Perry back anyway. "The two of us need to start getting ready. Linda will have our heads if we're late, especially you. And Heinz wouldn't be too pleased either."

Letting out a low chattering noise, Perry reluctantly let Lawrence go.

"You're just lucky there isn't much to do to get ready," he told his friend. "Showers and shaving and suits. Linda's been worried about finding enough time to make sure her hair and makeup are done perfectly on top of everything else."

Perry huffed and waved a hand around as he got out of bed, and Lawrence nodded in agreement.

"I know. I told her that she'd be fine as she normally is. She's beautiful no matter what, after all, but she insisted that since it's such a big day that she needed to look her best," he told him, getting up too, following Perry to the bathroom.

"You can go first," he said, getting his toothbrush out. "I know the boys did something to the water heater to make it more efficient, but I'm sure it's being pushed to its limits with the girls getting ready too, so I'd rather you get at least a chance at a hot bath. I'll be alright if mine's a little brisk."

Perry nodded gratefully and turned the shower on.

Lawrence didn't bother averting his eyes as Perry stripped – it wasn't anything he hadn't seen, and the two of them weren't the slightest bit body shy around each other anymore – just sticking his toothbrush in his mouth and starting to brush.

As Perry's shirt came off, he chuckled around the suds filling his mouth and asked, "Heinz is awfully mouthy I see."

His friend scoffed and threw his shirt at Lawrence's face, flipping him off and not bothering to try to cover up the bruises and marks across his shoulders and chest.

Lawrence caught the shirt before it smacked into him and tossed it in the hamper.

⌈It's only because otherwise he's noisy,⌋ Perry signed, rolling his eyes, then pushed his bottoms off and stepped into the shower.

He waited until he'd finished brushing so he could come closer to the curtain, peering his head inside and saying softly so there was no chance of their children accidentally overhearing from outside the bathroom door, "Linda and I have a couple gags, if you'd like to borrow one. They're quite a lot of fun."

Perry burst out into squeaky, wheezy laughter and shoved his hand at Lawrence, pushing him out of the shower by his face.

He couldn't help laughing too, even as he had to clean the smudges of Perry's fingerprints off his glasses.

While Perry showered, he took the opportunity to pee and shave, and he also tried to remember if there was anything else he needed to do to get ready. It felt like there was something, but he hadn't the foggiest.

Usually it was Linda or Perry's job to remember those sorts of things.

⌈Your turn,⌋ Perry signed as he got out, and Lawrence quickly undressed and got in.

It was only as he was getting out and saw Perry standing there still in his towel that Lawrence remembered. "Oh," he said. "I was supposed to bring our suits in here."

Perry snorted but signed, ⌈It won't kill the kids if they see us in our towels. We can just head back to my room.⌋

Of course, the second they stepped into the hall, Linda, who had been coming up the stairs, reached the landing and gasped loudly and dramatically at the sight of them standing there together nearly naked.

"Perry, how could you?" she asked in a mock-heartbroken tone, coming across like one of those actresses from those soap operas Perry and Heinz loved to watch so much. "With my own husband and on the day of your wedding! I thought we were friends. What would your fiance say?"

Perry only shrugged, but Lawrence could see his lips twitching at the corners as he tried to conceal a smile.

Linda couldn't keep up the ruse for long, though, bursting into giggles herself and coming closer to shuffle them back to Perry's room. "C'mon, boys. Heinz is starting to get himself worked up, so let's get you guys dressed and get this show on the road before he starts dismantling the kitchen appliances to build another one of his machines."

At Perry's bedroom door, she leaned up and kissed Lawrence quickly before pushing them both inside. "Be quick, you two. We'll meet you downstairs."

A few minutes later, their suits donned, as Perry tied Lawrence's tie for him, Lawrence told him, "You know, when we were doing this all those years ago for my wedding to Linda, I never thought I would have the opportunity to do this for you."

Perry's hands paused, resting against Lawrence's chest, the half-tied tie clutched in them. He looked up at Lawrence with a question in his eyes.

"I know you, Perry. If Heinz hadn't come along, it would've likely continued being only the three of us for possibly forever," he said softly, getting a slow nod back from Perry. "And that's alright," he made sure to tell him. "Things had been just fine as they were, you know that, but…" He carefully thought over his words to be certain that he said what he meant. "I think Heinz is a wonderful addition to our family, and I'm so very happy to see the two of you get married. I'm quite looking forward to the four of us getting to spend the rest of our lives together."

Perry's eyes grew misty, and he nodded, going back to tying Lawrence's tie.

As soon as the knot was lovingly settled against the base of his throat, Lawrence pulled Perry into a hug and whispered, "I'm so glad I have you, old chap. You're the reason my life is as amazing as it is now, and I can never thank you enough. And you only continue making it better."

The two of them stood there for a long moment, holding each other tightly, but eventually they had to part.

Perry needed to get to his wedding ceremony after all!

Lawrence pulled back and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Come along, Perry."

They walk down the stairs to a fairly full house, everyone gathered and seemingly just as eager as the happy couple for the ceremony to take place. Lawrence hadn't quite fully understood the reason for having the ceremony so early in the day – it was barely even mid-morning yet – but Heinz had rambled on about statistical averages for Perry's arrival time when thwarting him or some such, and Perry had simply said that whatever Heinz wanted was fine (within reason), since he was happy to just be getting married to the man.

The one thing Perry had been insistent on was a small wedding, but they hadn't quite managed as tiny an event as Perry had wanted – which if it had been solely up to him likely would've been immediate family only. The guest list alone had quite a few people on it, but between the four of them, they'd managed to make sure it consisted of only the most important guests, and they'd also reined in the boys from going too overboard on decorations and whatnot.

Both Lawrence's parents and Linda's were there; they were all eager to see their honorary son get married. Their siblings, however, hadn't been invited, not necessarily to be snubbed, but none of them were especially close with Perry.

Heinz had thought about inviting his own parents, but after a great deal of hemming and hawing, he'd eventually confessed he didn't particularly want them there, believing they'd ruin the day, so they hadn't bothered sending them an invitation.

Roger was there, though, meaning all the family that Heinz actually liked were present (excluding some distant relative of his that he spoke fondly of that was apparently unable to make it).

Beyond that, there were their children and a few of the children's closest friends, the ones that were like family, and lastly that college-aged boy that Perry said he used to work with, Carl, who Perry said should be there for helping make his and Heinz's relationship possible.

All in all, almost a dozen guests, in addition to the wedding party, consisting of their entire family, and the officiant.

It meant a noisy, hectic house as he and Perry came down the stairs into the living room.

"There's the other groom!" Charlene said loudly, managing to be heard over the other conversations going on in the room, even the children who were very much not using their inside voices. "Heinz, your soon-to-be husband's finally ready to go!" she called back into the kitchen.

"Wait, no!" Heinz said, sounding panicked. Lawrence heard a clattering followed by rapid footsteps, and then Heinz's voice came from even further away as he said, "I can't see him yet, it's bad stinkelkrampen!"

"Heinz, that's an old wives' tale," Roger called back, trying to reassure him.

"No, no! I won't risk it! I already have enough of it as it is!" His voice was even further away and muffled. "Perry the Platypus, you had better not come in here until I'm already in the backyard!"

"Heinz, stop trying to climb out of the window," Linda said exasperatedly. "You're two feet from the door."

There was a dull thud, followed by a "I'm okay!" from Heinz. Lawrence peaked his head through the kitchen doorway to see Linda poking her head out the window and looking down.

He turned back just in time to see Perry shaking his head and grinning like crazy.

"Ah, Heinz," Lawrence sighed out in amusement at his dear friend's antics.

⌈Heinz,⌋ Perry signed back.

"And you're the lucky lad that gets to marry him," Lawrence said.

Perry nodded enthusiastically – well, Perry's version of enthusiasm, which, much like their son was muted but noticeable to those who knew him.

A moment later, they were swarmed by their boys, who must have finally used up their patience while waiting.

"Is it time?" were the first words out of Phineas's mouth to them.

Ferb on the other hand just stared up at Perry unblinkingly.

⌈Everything's okay, kiddo,⌋ Perry signed to Ferb and pulled him into a hug.

Lawrence reached over and ran a hand over Ferb's hair while Perry held him and reassured, "I know, son. It's a big day with lots of big emotions."

"Ferb and I just want everything to go off without a hitch," Phineas told them, and Lawrence had to restrain himself with everything he had not to make the obvious dad joke about wanting them to 'get hitched' since his sons were clearly anxious.

Perry pulled Phineas into the hug too, and Lawrence wrapped them all up as group and squeezed them lightly.

"Everything's going to go fine, boys. And even if it doesn't it'll be alright," he told them.

"You deserve a really nice wedding, Dad," Phineas told Perry softly.

Perry pulled back to sign to their sons, ⌈It'll be perfect no matter what, because everyone I love is here, and that's all that matters. I promise.⌋

Phineas said, "Okay, Dad," and Ferb blinked firmly.

Charlene had been hovering near the edges of their little group, giving them space as they spoke to the boys, but at that, she came over and asked, "You ready to get started, Perry?"

His friend nodded, and Charlene turned and clapped once loudly, following it up by announcing, "The ceremony's about to begin, so head out to the yard and find your seats, everyone!"

Their kids stayed back, but everyone else shuffled out.

Once the crowd had relocated, Lawrence got his first good look at his daughter and her soon-to-semi-officially-be sister. "Oh my sweet girls, look at you!" he said, stepping closer to them, taking in their dresses and their careful hairdos with the flowers woven into them. "You both look absolutely darling."

"Thanks, Dad," Candace said, beaming up at him.

⌈The most beautiful flower girls,⌋ Perry signed in agreement, coming up next to him.

It was Vanessa's turn to say, "Thanks, Dad," to Perry.

"I have not yet been complimented on my appearance!" Norm said. He pivoted to show off his new paint job, displaying the tux, and the boys and Vanessa applauded, Lawrence joining in for good measure.

"Lovely suit, my boy," he told him. "It looks like you took a lot of care."

"I did!" Norm said enthusiastically. "It took all night! I even had to borrow a different squirrel for the evening so I could stay up! I was just lucky it dried in time!"

Soft violin music started up in the backyard, and Perry turned to the boys, signing, ⌈Is that Isabella?⌋

"She wanted to, Dad!" Phineas said quickly, giving him an innocent look. "She said a CD wouldn't be very romantic, and none of us wanted you to go out there without any music."

Perry gave him a soft smile and ruffled his hair. ⌈Thanks, kiddo.⌋

"Well, it seems we have our cue. Let's go get you married," Lawrence said, wrapping an arm around Perry's shoulders. "Children, you know what to do," he told their kids who all hurried toward the den to go out the sliding glass door there instead of the kitchen's back door.

He and Perry walked there more leisurely, Lawrence knowing that Linda would be there to make sure they went out in the right order.

Typically the ring bearers and flower girls went after the wedding party but before the happy couple, but nothing about their situation was typical. Perry had wanted to honor Lawrence and Linda's place in his heart by having them walk immediately before he and Heinz did instead, and Lawrence had been so touched that he would admit to crying a bit.

The two of them got there just in time to see Norm start to walk down the small aisle between the chairs that had been set up in the backyard leading to the arch under their tree.

The kids had been told they could stand with Perry and Heinz or sit in the front row, whichever they wanted, and it seemed they planned to stand, since, as Phineas and Ferb went down together, they joined Norm near the arch.

Linda sidled up to them as Candace and Vanessa went, asking, "Ready, boys?"

Perry nodded, and Linda leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek then gently wiping off the small smudge of lipstick she'd left behind.

"You've got this, hon," she whispered to him. Then she added, "Heinz is just outside the door waiting for you. Now, Lawrence?"

He squeezed Perry's shoulder one last time and smiled at him before offering Linda his elbow, the two of them walking down the aisle together.

"I'm so happy, darling," he murmured under his breath.

Linda whispered back, "I know, hon. So am I." Her hand squeezed his elbow.

At the end of the aisle, they parted ways, Linda stepping over to Heinz's side of the aisle and Lawrence going to Perry's, turning in time to see Perry step out of the house and brighten to the intensity of the sun as he caught sight of Heinz in his wedding suit.

Heinz's mouth dropped open, and he flushed bright red, stuttering out something Lawrence couldn't hear from that distance over the music Isabella was still playing on her violin.

Perry laughed and held out his hand to Heinz, who took it, still looking a bit dazed, and they walked down the aisle together.

Once the reached the arch, Isabella slowly brought the music to an end, and Charlene, acting as the officiant, cleared her throat.

"This is typically the part where I say 'dearly beloved, et cetera et cetera', but these two aren't a typical couple or typical people, so they gave me free rein to come up here and say whatever I felt like," she announced. "We'll see if they live to regret it."

A few people in the crowd chuckled.

"Now, Perry's not one for being in the spotlight long, so we'll try to at least keep things short and sweet," Charlene said. "I'm sure he'll appreciate that much."

Lawrence didn't think Perry very much cared or noticed, his eyes staying glued on Heinz's face this whole time.

"Some people might think I'm crazy officiating for my ex-husband's marriage to a new person, but I'm genuinely happy that these two found each other. They're perfect for each other, and I'm glad to get to be a part of them starting their life together," she said.

"As you all know, gay marriage still isn't legal in the state of Colorado, so unfortunately none of today is especially legally binding, but to those of us here, it's more real than any piece of paper could say," she continued. "Especially to Perry and Heinz.

"They're making a lifetime commitment to each other today, regardless of what any government body has to say on the matter.

"Now, I was told the two of you had your own vows to exchange?" she said to Perry and Heinz.

Perry didn't always handle speaking – or in his case, signing – in front of large groups of people very well, so he'd debated for a long time about what to do for vows. Lawrence had heard every single one of his thoughts on the matter as the wedding was planned.

Eventually, Perry had decided simply to write them down and hand them to Heinz during the ceremony, thinking that his thoughts about their marriage should stay between the two of them anyway, and that's what he did, pulling a folded letter out of his inner jacket pocket and passing it to Heinz.

Lawrence watched as Heinz unfolded it, his eyes scrolling over the page, growing misty as he read. "Oh, Perry," he breathed out when he reached the end, folding it back up and tucking it carefully into his own pocket.

"Well," Heinz said, taking a deep breath to recompose himself, "mine are obviously going to be a lot more open to our audience, but that's alright. I've always been the chattier one of the two of us.

"Though, I will say, I'm already forgetting what I wrote for these," he said with an awkward chuckle. "I'd even practiced with Pretendy, but yours were so much better; they sort of wiped mine from my memory. I don't know how I'll even be able to compare.

"Perry the Platypus… You're my nemesis and my best friend and the love of my life. You swept into my world and became the center of it, and I don't know what I'd do without you." Every one of Heinz's words came across as so deeply earnest that it almost hurt to watch.

"I'm so happy every day that you saw me, an evil scientist who was everything you'd sworn to fight, and still decided to take a chance anyway. And I'll try every day to make sure you never regret it," he concluded.

Charlene let the words sit for a long moment as Perry worked to keep himself composed in front of the wedding guests, but Lawrence could tell how much it had all meant to him.

"While this would normally be the part where rings were exchanged, we have one last part to the ceremony before we can proceed," Charlene announced.

Perry looked surprised, and Lawrence wondered what was happening that even Perry didn't know about it.

"Perry," Heinz said softly, "you're such a great father, and you're an important part of my family. You've always taken care of Vanessa and Norm and treated them like your own without hesitation, so I figured I should vow to do the same for you."

Charlene turned to the kids and said, "Phineas, Ferb, Candace, will you come over?"

Phineas had a pleased little smile on his face, and Candace was having trouble concealing her smirk as the three of them crowded around the couple. Lawrence realized Heinz must've planned this with them and managed to keep it a secret from the rest of the family.

"Thanks for letting me marry your dad," Heinz said to the kids. "It means a lot to me. And since marrying him makes you my kids by the transitive property -" he said pointedly to Phineas, who just grinned wider "- I guess I should make some promises to you too.

"You better listen closely, because I'm only going to say this once," he told them, and Lawrence knew it was a blatant lie. Heinz wasn't a flawless parent to the kids, but he tried and he cared, and if any of them asked for reassurance he'd almost certainly fold immediately and repeat himself just for them.

"I promise to love you all like you were my own. I know I'm not perfect, but I'll do my best to be as good a dad to you three as Perry the Platypus is," he said. "I'll always support you and respect you and listen to you."

It was quiet for a moment, then Heinz added, "That was it; now shoo. We've got to wrap this thing up."

Ferb was surprisingly the first to dart in to hug Heinz, but soon all three of the kids were wrapped around him like little octopi – or maybe barnacles on a ship. Heinz patted them on their heads and said, "Yeah, yeah, kid, I know," as they all whispered things to him that Lawrence couldn't make out, the words clearly meant for Heinz's ears only.

Perry watched on looking so love-struck that Lawrence was certain everyone could see it on his face.

Charlene leaned in towards Perry and asked him quietly, "I know this is obviously very on the spot, but would you like to say anything to Vanessa and Norm now?"

Lawrence knew Perry wouldn't want them to feel left out, and he was proven right when Perry immediately nodded.

Charlene turned to the kids again and said, "Vanessa, Norm, will you come over now?"

The kids must've discussed the possibility of this happening because neither Norm nor Vanessa seemed surprised as they walked over.

Perry turned to them and gave them his dad smile, the one Lawrence always saw him giving to their kids, the one he never hesitated to give even when he was feeling more closed off as he sometimes got. ⌈I love you both so much,⌋ he signed emphatically. ⌈And I'll always love you. You're both my kids, just as much as my other three are.⌋

"Thanks, Dad," Vanessa said, giving Perry a hug. "We love you too."

"Yes, thank you, Dad!" Norm said loudly, scooping both his sister and Perry up in a hug too, leaving their feet dangling slightly off the ground. "We love you very much!"

Vanessa let out a startled cry of "Norm!"

Norm dropped them both back to the ground, and Perry made sure Vanessa stayed steady on her feet.

She darted in one more time to press a quick kiss to Perry's cheek and said, "Thanks again, Dad," before turning to Norm and grabbing his arm to pull him back to the side.

Once the children were back to their spots, Charlene announced, "Let us all now witness the exchanging of rings as a symbol of Heinz and Perry's love and commitment to one another."

Phineas passed the ring box he'd been been entrusted with to Lawrence, and Ferb did the same with Linda, who opened the box and held it out to Heinz.

Lawrence watched as Heinz carefully took the ring from the box and Perry offered out his hand. He slid the ring on Perry's finger and pulled his hand up to his mouth to kiss it.

Perry smiled softly then turned to Lawrence. He offered out the ring and beamed at Perry, getting a quickly signed ⌈Thank you⌋ before he took it and turned back to Heinz, carefully sliding the ring on him in exchange.

The two of them looked so happy, holding hands and soaking each other's appearance in, and Lawrence hoped that Perry's friend Carl who he'd entrusted with his camera was getting good shots of it all.

"By the power vested in me by – well, just you two really, I'm not legally an officiant – I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband!"

Charlene had barely finished speaking before Perry was pulling Heinz in for a kiss, and Lawrence cheered for his friends.