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There were three things that Ronan still couldn’t fully grasp about himself: 1) He was going on a date, 2) He was going on a date with Adam Parrish, 3) He was going on a date with Adam Parrish and he was the one who initiated it.
Who knows, maybe Ronan’s figuring out that he’s always been a romantic at heart.
Or maybe things have calmed down enough from the fucking nightmare that was their life for the past couple months, and Ronan is finally realizing that things are calm and that him and Adam can actually just be.
There were flowers on the seat next to him. Flowers. In his BMW. For Parrish. When they were just going to the Barns. The Barns because neither of them wanted to do anything over the top. Flowers. For the Barns. For Adam Parrish.
Fucking Parrish, making him feel all… warm? nice? inside. Fuck Parrish and his smile that literally lights up the day and his laugh and his eyes and his everything.
His fingers tapped the steering wheel as he stared at the light (red), the clock (6:51pm), and back at the light (still red). He still had nine minutes to get Adam, and even though they didn’t have any technical reservations and we just going to the Barns, he didn’t want to be late. Isn’t the first impression the most important thing on the first date, or some shit like that?
Shit, maybe Ronan really was becoming a romantic at heart.
The light turned green the same time the clock said 6:52. Ronan may or may not have honked at the car in front of him the moment the light turned green. Ronan may or may not be in a rush.
Even on the littlest, most simplest things, Ronan didn’t want to disappoint Adam.
Lucky for him, he rolled up to Adam’s apartment at 6:59 and honked the horn. With only minimal wait, Adam appeared and walked up the passenger door.
“Flowers?” Was the first thing Adam sat when he sat down.
Ronan was sure he was either going to flat line or die from embarrassment. “It’s shit you do on a first date or whatever,” he mumbled, his cheeks burning as he drove back in the direction of the Barns. “Just take them, Adam.”
“They’re nice.” Ronan looked at him out of the corner of his eye to see him smiling. Ronan couldn’t help but smile back.
The ride to the Barns was quiet, the only sound being the light rain that started to tap against the window shield.
“I don’t have much planned,” Ronan blurted out when they were five minutes from the Barns. “I know we didn’t want anything extreme, which I’m completely fine with. I mean, I ordered a pizza? I have very little planned-”
Look at you. Nervous.
Adam then placed his hand over Ronan’s, which was on the gear shift. “Ronan.” He would never admit it, but he loved the way his name sounded rolling off Adam’s tongue. “That’s perfect. I want something as low-key as you can get.”
“Then you’ve come to the right guy,” Ronan smirked.
The Barns were quiet. They used to always be quiet, except for the occasional Chainsaw screeching. Then Opal came into play and the silence that once enveloped the Barns was broken. But now Opal with Blue and Gansey, and Chainsaw not screeching, the Barns were quiet, serene.
“I see there’s no child here,” Adam pointed out, toeing off his shoes.
“Gansey and Blue are practicing their parenting skills.” Ronan tossed their jackets over one of the chairs at the table.
The flowers ended up in a vase on the counter.
The pizza was fine. Halfway through dinner they had to rummage through every draw to find some candles and a lighter because of course the light rain developed into a storm, knocking out the power.
Though, to Ronan, that wasn’t the part that mattered. The part that mattered was afterwards, Ronan lounging on the couch, Adam resting on him. The candles around them cast small shadows on the wall. Ronan lightly traced circles on Adam’s back.
Their breathing was calm.
Adam made Ronan calm. Adam was the eye of Ronan’s storm; no matter how much shit went on around Ronan, how much it seemed that life was going to Hell, there was Adam.
Ronan was looking down at Adam, Adam looked up.
“What?” Adam asked, his voice quiet, with an arched eyebrow.
“What?”
“You’re staring.”
“I happen to like your face, Parrish.”
Adam smiled. “As you’ve told me.”
Thunder boomed above them, looming in the heavens; Ronan smiled back.
I’m his, Ronan thought to himself. This is real, and I am his.
“I can feel you thinking,” Adam laughed softly.
“You should be proud then.”
“Of course.” Adam ducked his head back down against Ronan’s chest. Moments of silence between them passed, moments of rain hitting against the windows, moments of thunder and lightning and candle flickers.
Moments of burning emotions, moments of serenity, moments of reflecting on the things that happened that brought him here, moments of being thankful he was even able to get here, moments of Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch being able to just be.
Ronan, sharp-edged Ronan, ran a gentle hand through Adam’s hair.
It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but all at once the rain cleared and, out of the windows, Ronan could see the stars in the sky.
Adam then sat up. “The sky’s cleared,” he said before stretching his arms up and arching his back. Ronan fully admitted to watching Adam’s shirt ride up a bit.
“Now,” Adam said over his shoulder at Ronan, a grin on his face. “Since you’re being such abad host, I’m feeding myself.” Ronan rolled his eyes as Adam walked out of the living room.
It only took a couple moments for Ronan to follow and find Adam taking a package of pop-tarts from a box. “Matthew is gonna be insulted when he finds out your eating his pop-tarts,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around Adam from behind. He rested his chin on Adam’s shoulder.
“Matthew’ll forgive me,” Adam said, leaning his head back against Ronan. He unwrapped the package. “Now, if you excuse me, I have pop-tarts that need to be toasted.”
Ronan chuckled but released Adam.
“So,” Adam continued as he dropped them in the toaster. “You have Gansey and Blue babysitting?”
“Hey,” Ronan said, following Adam and leaning against the counter. “Gansey’s a family man.”
Adam smirked at Ronan. “Aren’t you the one home with a kid?”
Ronan glared. “Low fucking blow, Adam.”
Adam tilted his head back and laughed, the sound near music. Ronan couldn’t help but laugh too. Whoever said laughter was contagious actually wasn’t wrong.
Once again, something warm and kind burned in Ronan, something that Ronan might be able to put a name too.
Want. Happiness.
Love?
Maybe so. Maybe that’s what it is.
He then tugged Adam closer to him and pulled him into a kiss, his arms fitting into place around Adam’s hips. Like clockwork, Adam’s arms ended up around Ronan’s neck, their lips soft against each other.
No matter how many times they kissed, to Ronan, it always felt like their first.
They were interrupted by the toaster popping up. Adam pulled away and their foreheads rested against each other. “I do believe I have to get that.”
Ronan laughed as Adam took a step back and looked through the cabinets until he found a plate. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me for stolen food.”
“Oh there will be more of that,” Adam said with a smoothness that Ronan kept forgetting he had. “Just let me stay over.”
“How scandalous,” Ronan said and Adam gave him back a wink, causing laughter to escape both of their lips.
Ronan was happy, and calm, and wanted this. Wanted this for as long as Adam would allow it.