Chapter Text
The day Ash accidentally blew up the staff room microwave with a croissant was also the day she became a full-time teacher at U.A. High.
In her defense, no one had warned her that summoning baked goods directly into a running microwave could warp the molecular structure of said pastry and cause what Principal Nezu later referred to as a "dough-based detonation."
Also, the croissant had claws. Maybe.
The explosion had charred the faculty lounge, triggered an evacuation, and singed her eyebrows into retirement.
Principal Nezu's only response? A cheerful clap and a smiling "You'll fit right in."
-Two Weeks Earlier-
"Why U.A.?"
Ash hated that question. Everyone asked it. Nezu, reporters, that one overly chatty ramen vendor in Hosu City. And it always came with that look.
The one that said: What's a Retired Pro Hero with a reputation for wrecking half a city block doing in a classroom?
She tugged at the frayed sleeve of her old costume jacket, trying to ignore the urge to bolt out of the interview room and straight into the nearest vending machine.
"Because redemption arcs are apparently trendy now." She muttered sarcastically. Nezu tilted his head, ears twitching with curiosity.
"And do you believe you need redeeming?"
Ash stared at her reflection in the window. Same tired eyes. Same calloused hands. Same knot of regret in her stomach.
"No..." She said. "But maybe some of the niños do."
That was the moment she realized: She didn't come to U.A. to fix herself. She came to help someone else avoid the same mistakes she'd made.
-Present Day-
Classroom 2B
"Surprise pop quiz!"
Half the class groaned. The other half ducked as the ceiling vents hissed and released a cascade of grey smoke. Panic. Screams. One overly dramatic fainting spell.
Ash kicked open the classroom door, striking a pose in fingerless gloves and a long blue sash that fluttered like a cape. Her eyes sparkled with the unholy joy of someone about to cause trouble... And legally get away with it.
"Lesson one: ALWAYS expect the unexpected." She called over the chaos. "Lesson two: Survive the next ten minutes."
Ash grabbed a net cannon from under her desk, almost in a cartoonist style. The desks shifted, some retracting into the floor. A small hover drone dropped what looked suspiciously like a dodgeball of doom into the fray.
"Is this legal..?" A voice asked, muffled behind a desk barricade.
"Nope!" Ash grinned. "Welcome to my class, ¡pendejitos! Where I test your reflexes, critical thinking in other languages, and ability to not cry in public~."
By the time the smoke cleared, half the class had chalk in their hair and the other half was muttering about filing complaints in Spanish. Ash leaned against the board, arms crossed, trying not to laugh too hard.
Teaching at U.A. wasn't what she'd expected.
It was way more fun.
And maybe, just maybe, exactly what she needed.
Later that Evening
U.A.'s faculty lounge looked deceptively normal for a place that had once been blown up by a croissant.
The coffee machine wheezed. Cementoss was trying to get the vending machine to accept a wrinkled 500-yen note. Present Mic was asleep face-down in a pile of crossword puzzles. And Eraserhead? Sitting cross-legged on the couch like a cat pretending he didn't want attention.
Ash walked in, took one look at the room, and smiled.
"Chaos energy. Me gusta~." She whispered to herself. Aizawa looked at her and sighed.
"Wrong room, kid. The meeting for sidekicks is 4 doors down to the right." Aizawa said already tired while pointing lazily to the exit. Midnight looked at him.
"She's not here for to be a sidekick, Aizawa. She's the new teacher." Midnight whispered and Aizawa raised an eyebrow.
"She's the new teacher we've been waiting for? How old is she? 20?"
"25." Midnight corrected and Aizawa sighed again while grabbing his thermos.
"I go on a mission for 3 days and Nezu already hires a kid to teach kids..." He said to himself, already tired while drinking his coffee. "You're late." Aizawa said to Ash while didn't even glance up from his thermos.
"I brought muffins." Ash responded. He finally looked.
"Bribery?"
"Survival." Ash corrected while giving everyone one muffin. "They're infused with protein, caffeine, and regret."
A moment of silence. Aizawa then took a cautious bite.
"Huh...Not bad..." Aizawa admitted. Mic grabbed one and sniffed it.
"Is it... Humming?" He asked and Ash simply smiled.
"Side effect of the quirk. It'll pass. Probably."
Nezu entered the room and turned on the projector against the whiteboard.
Staff Meeting Agenda:
1. Budget Review
2. Curriculum Updates
3. Villain Threats
4. "Mysterious Exploding Microwave Incident" Follow-Up
Nezu tapped a paw against the whiteboard.
"Now, before we move on to our regularly scheduled panic, let's officially welcome our newest teacher. Former Pro-Hero: Pérez Ashley! Specialist in melee combat, feline agility, and occasionally summoning hostile pastries. Give her a round of applause."
Everyone gave a polite clapping. Aizawa just blinked slowly, still in disbelief. Ash stood from her seat.
"Thanks for the warm welcome, compañeros! I've only set fire to two hallways since I've started, so technically I'm already ahead of schedule."
"Rock on, new blood!" Mic gave a thumbs-up.
"Just don't touch the backup generator again." Power Loader grunted.
"I said I was sorry!... And unconscious..."
Later, as the room emptied out, Ash sank into the couch beside Aizawa, watching the smoke curl from a slightly scorched muffin.
"So..." Ash asked. "Aizawa, right? Do the meetings always feel like a group therapy session hosted by caffeine-addicted superhumans?"
"Worse..." Aizawa replied. "Sometimes we do trust falls." Ash snorted.
"If you ever try to catch me mid-air, I will bite you."
"You wouldn't get that far."
A pause.
"...Challenge accepted..." Ash muttered under her breath with a mischievous smile.