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“Why did w-we get talked into this?”
“Because,” Sakura says, her voice as even as ever, “we don’t trust this.”
“What? Our relationship?” Byakuya asks.
“Yeah! Obviously!” Aoi crosses her arms and eyes him suspiciously. “Up until a couple days ago, you were acting like you despised her, and now you’re dating? I don't believe it.”
“Well, b-believe it,” Toko says. “He wants me.” She can barely believe it herself, but he does. He told her. Very explicitly. With a lot of insults thrown in — she doesn’t hold that against him, of course. She’s good at reading in-between the lines, and there’s a lot to read. In the environment he grew up in, a relationship was out of the question. And he’s willing to try it for her. She’s beyond lucky.
Sakura nods. At least she's reasonable. “That’s what we are here to verify.”
“Why is this any of your concern?” Byakuya frowns at the two of them. “You aren’t particularly close with either of us.”
“W-well, nobody in our class really is,” Toko points out.
“That’s the problem,” Aoi says. “Nobody is there to… um, for damage control?” She winces as she says it, like she’s realizing how dumb it is. How dumb she is, really, but Toko digresses. “Like, you two could be really bad for each other, and nobody would notice. So we’re intervening.”
“And w-who made you two the authority? Like you guys h-have a perfect relationship…”
“We don’t, but at least we’re normal people!”
“Hina,” Sakura mumbles, nudging her girlfriend.
“What?! It’s true!” Aoi pouts. “Look, I’m just being honest. You, Toko, are way too obsessive over him, and Byakuya is just a dick. This is a recipe for disaster, but since we're your friends—”
“Absolutely not,” Byakuya says.
“— we're having faith in you and not forcefully breaking you up.”
“What Hina is trying to say,” Sakura interjects, “is that we are worried about how this might turn out for the both of you, and the purpose of this double date is to make sure that this is a good relationship.”
“We don’t need you two to do that for us.”
“Yes you do,” Aoi says. “And, anyway, you’re already here, so no backing out!”
He sighs, heavily, and Toko has the urge to do the same. Somehow, she knows they’re not getting out of this.
“F-fine. But we’re l-leaving if you two get annoying. E-especially you.” She points at Aoi, who scoffs.
“Why did you let me talk you into this?” she mutters to Sakura, who shrugs.
They exit the dorms and walk to… the bowling alley. Toko doesn’t mind, really, even if she’s never bowled before. Byakuya seems mildly intrigued, which she didn’t expect. Sakura is the least enthusiastic. If only because she keeps glancing over at the two of them. Toko scowls back at her, and it doesn’t deter her at all.
“Alright, two teams!” Aoi says. “Sakura, you’re with me!”
“What? That’s u-unfair.” Toko crosses her arms. “Both of you are way more athletic. N-no offense to you, B-Byakuya.” Aoi gasps.
“None taken.” She thinks Aoi is saying something stupid like, “she said his name?!” but she doesn’t listen. “And, logically you’re right, but this will be fun. I think both of us will perform better on a team with someone we like.”
Toko nods, smiling. He’s definitely going to carry her. Which is sweet of him to offer. If he wanted to win, he wouldn’t be on her team. Meaning he’s just here to be with her. “I a-agree.”
“Gee, thanks, guys.”
Sakura pats Aoi’s shoulder before turning to the other couple. “Prepare to be defeated.”
“As if,” Toko says. “W-we’ll be the best bowling team ever made.”
“Right. Strength isn’t everything.” Byakuya nods.
“We’ll see,” Aoi says.
Toko completely fumbles her first throw. And the second. She only gets one pin, but Byakuya doesn’t seem mad at all. He just gives her a reassuring nod when she actually hits it. He’s much better than she is, and she thinks it’s because of the variety of things he was taught to do as a child. He can aim the ball unlike her, although it’s the nature of bowling to never be perfect.
Sakura is similarly precise, and she gets strikes almost every time. The ball moves too fast for it to curve most of the time. Aoi, meanwhile, relies on strength and gusto. She is much worse than even Byakuya, but she’s laughing like she’s having the time of her life.
Toko steps up for her fifth round.
Takes a deep breath, and throws it. She closes her eyes in anticipation.
Suddenly, Aoi cheers. Toko looks up to see the pins all falling.
“Woo-hoo! You did it!”
Toko blinks. “I-I did.”
“Congratulations!” Aoi holds up her hand for a high five. Toko looks at her skeptically, and she lowers it. “What’s your problem?”
“Why are you h-happy for me? You’re on the opposite team.”
“What? Come on, that doesn’t matter here! You got a strike!”
“If you weren’t going to compete properly, then why compete at all?” Byakuya asks, walking up to the two of them. He glances at Toko with a much gentler expression and puts a hand on her shoulder. “That was very satisfactory, Toko.”
She beams. “Th-thank you!”
The game takes another ten minutes. Toko doesn’t get a strike again, although she does get a spare in the final round. In the end…
“I can’t believe we tied,” Aoi says, hanging her head with a sigh. “Good game.”
“Yes. That was a lot of fun.” Sakura has a gentle smile on her face. “You two did surprisingly well.”
Byakuya visibly holds himself back from rolling his eyes. “I’m not surprised at all. Of course we make a good team.”
“Mhm.” Toko smiles and gently nudges him. He doesn’t react at all, but she knows that’s a good thing. A week ago, she would’ve overreacted. Now she knows better. Him not reacting is, in public, the best she’s going to get.
Aoi eyes them suspiciously, but she shakes her head and claps her hands. Good. “Well, I’m starving! They have pizza here. Let’s get some!”
“Well, I suppose if we’re already here,” he says quietly.
“I l-like pizza,” Toko offers. It was one of the only times she got fresh, warm food as a kid, when her mothers were too lazy to cook. Of course, they never got enough for four people, and so she was often left with the scraps after her parents were done eating. But that was enough to keep her little belly full. So she never complained.
“Interesting.” His tone sounds judgmental. Maybe it is. She’s not offended. He’s thought worse of her.
“Hey, don’t knock a good, greasy pizza, rich boy,” Aoi says. “Maybe it’s not good for you, but there’s nothing more mouth-watering! Well, besides donuts. Ooh, do you think they have any here?”
“That makes it sound even less appealing.”
“There is nothing wrong with unhealthy food every once in a while.” Sakura takes a menu. “No, no donuts, Hina, but they do have other desserts.”
Aoi drapes herself over Sakura’s shoulders; despite herself, Toko feels a small tinge of jealousy. She knows it’s going to take him a long time to get used to being in a relationship, and she was prepared for that going into it. But, these two, it looks like dating comes so easily to them. Sakura doesn’t even flinch at the blatant PDA. Toko shakes her head and subconsciously steps closer to him.
“Churros! Yes, we should get those!”
“Are churros not basically donuts?” Byakuya asks.
“They’re—” Aoi deflates. “Well, they’re similar, but not exactly the same.”
“I’ve never had them,” Toko says.
“Neither have I.” They sit at a table. Byakuya subtly looks at Toko before sitting down to make sure she didn’t want his seat. She melts a little inside.
“I would say prepare to be amazed, but knowing you two, you won’t appreciate them properly.” Aoi huffs and crosses her arms.
“I can appreciate anything as long as it’s actually good.”
“There’s your problem,” she mutters.
They order two pizzas — one vegetable, and one cheese. Toko is pressured into trying the vegetable one, even though she’s only had cheese before. It’s not bad. She much prefers simpler flavors, though, and the olives make her wrinkle her nose a little. Byakuya enjoys the vegetable pizza a lot. It makes her smile. Then the churros come. They’re quite big, so Byakuya and Toko split one.
She taps their halves against each other. He rolls his eyes with a nearly inaudible laugh.
“T-this is really good…”
“Right?!” Aoi exclaims. “Oh, Sakura, you have some cinnamon on the side of your mouth.”
Sakura wipes it off. “Thank you, Hina.”
This causes Toko to check if her boyfriend has any, and sure enough, his lower lip is dirty with it. She has a brief fantasy of licking it off right here. But she knows that’s too far too soon, so she just wipes it off with her thumb. And puts her thumb in her mouth. Just to not let any of it go to waste.
His face quickly turns red, and he looks away. “You are so embarrassing.”
Aoi frowns. “Hey, that was really sweet.”
“Unsanitary, more like it,” he mutters, but Toko can hear that it’s just deflection.
“Not any more than kissing. Unless you're telling me you two have never kissed?”
“No.” He's quickly getting annoyed.
Thankfully, Sakura interrupts before Aoi can say anything more. “How did the two of you start dating? I don’t believe we’ve heard the story.”
Toko jumps at the chance to tell it. And at the chance to diffuse whatever’s going on between him and Aoi. “W-well, it was a couple weeks ago. We were alone a-after school ended, and we decided to start working on a project.”
“Do we have any projects coming up?” Aoi asks.
“A personal project,” Byakuya says. “Toko is writing a short story collection, and I'm reading over it for her.”
“Y-yes. Well, I was talking a-about my creative process—”
“— I was very interested in how her mind works. Especially since it’s so incomprehensible to me.”
“A-and I went on a tangent.”
“As she often does.” He has a tiny smile on his face.
She nods. “I r-really did start out talking about n-normal stuff. But he inspires me to write, s-so it felt natural. And I told him I wanted t-to kiss him, and he g-got quiet and brooding—”
“Gross.” Aoi wrinkles her nose.
“A-after a few moments, he told me I c-could.”
“And she did.”
Toko sighs, the memory itself making her heart flutter. “Then we t-talked, and a few minutes later, w-we were together.”
“Hm. That’s actually really sweet,” Aoi says. She takes another bite of her dessert.
“Right. Well, she was very lucky. If not for the atmosphere in that classroom, I wouldn’t have even considered dating her at all.”
Suddenly, Toko’s body freezes. The sugar coating her mouth is suddenly far too bitter. She can’t bear to lift her head and see their reactions. Seeing anger on the girls’ faces would only make it worse. Because she knows he doesn’t mean it that way. … Right?
(Does she know that? Does she really? What if he just felt bad for her pathetic self and decided to give her a chance?)
Aoi stands up and grabs Toko by the hand. “We’re going to the bathroom.”
Toko sniffs, trying desperately not to cry. “I-I don’t need to—”
“We’re going to the bathroom,” Aoi says firmly. “Sakura, are you coming with?”
“I think I’ll stay out here.” Sakura looks at Byakuya with intention. He clicks his tongue and looks away, making Toko feel a little sick. She can’t tell what he’s thinking — is that just because she’s crying?
But she can’t dwell on it when Aoi is dragging her to the closest bathroom.
“I’m really, really pissed at that guy.” Aoi leans against the sinks with a sigh. “What the hell was he thinking?!”
“I-it’s not— I—” Toko wipes her eyes, and black comes away on her fingers. Right, she put makeup on for this. And she’s ruining it. “It’s not h-his fault. M— Byakuya says things t-that c-come off badly, I know, b-but—”
“What ‘but’ could there possibly be?!” Aoi demands. “You heard what he said! He said he wouldn’t be dating you if the two of you hadn’t been left alone that day! That’s messed up! And he’s been disrespecting you all day!”
“H-how is it messed up if it’s t-true?”
She softens and grabs Toko’s hands. “If you really think it’s okay, then why are you crying?” And for someone who spends all her time working with words, Toko can’t for the life of her describe the feeling inside her. It’s frustration, anxiety, thankfulness, fear, fear, so much fear and pain. It hurts, yes, but love hurts. Love has to hurt. It’s not real otherwise. Aoi lets out a breath, squeezing the fingers between hers. “You don’t have to just roll over and accept it, you know.”
“B-but if I—” Toko is almost hyperventilating. “If I s-say anything, I’ll lose this. A-and I c-can’t d-do it…! I can’t!” If she lost him, if he went back on his decision to give her a chance, she would die. Her heart would literally break.
“Toko, Toko, hey,” Aoi says. “I get it. I used to feel the same way.”
Toko looks down at her. “What?”
“I was mad at Sakura when we first started dating. I come from a really expressive family. We all love each other and show each other that all the time. Sakura… doesn’t.” Aoi frowns. “I didn’t realize that, or maybe I did and I just wanted her to change for me, and I felt really insecure. I thought, how could she really love me if she doesn’t say it out loud? Or if she doesn’t hug me?” She blinks like she’s about to cry at the memory; Toko would make fun of her, but she does the same thing, so she can’t. “And I kept it all inside because I thought it made me a bad girlfriend, or Sakura would leave me if she found out. But I told her. And the world didn’t end. And we didn’t break up. Uh, obviously. She listened to me, and we understand each other now. We can be better for each other.”
“W-well, that’s the two of you,” Toko says. “B-Byakuya is different.”
A groan. “If that's true, then you shouldn't be with him! You need to be able to talk to each other and be honest! And if you can't—”
“You d-don’t get it!”
“You're the one who doesn’t get it!” Aoi cries. “I don't care how much you love him, if he can’t be good for you, then it’ll never work!”
“But he is good for me!” Panting, Toko wipes her eyes again. “H-haven't you noticed? He hasn't been insulting me! I know h-how he sounds when he is, and he hasn’t been! In fact, he’s been n-nicer to you two, too! He wants this! Wants me! T-the problems I'm having… are all m-me. And he u-understands.” Aoi has softened again. “We're trying for each other. Isn’t t-that more important than anything?”
The swimmer hesitates, then sighs. “I guess so. I'm just worried, you know? Even though both of you get on my nerves, you're still my friends.” Aoi holds her arms up as if she wants a hug. Toko tentatively steps forward, and allows herself to be embraced. Surprisingly, Aoi's hold is gentle. Even comforting. Is this what a hug feels like? She understands, then. Why people do it. She always thought hugs would be uncomfortable, another person's body pressed against yours, restraining you. But Aoi is warm and will obviously let her out if she needs it. “And if you need anything, I'm here for you.”
“A-and you won't punch Byakuya f-for it?”
“No promises on that one. Ask Sakura.”
Toko laughs despite herself. “W-well, thank you, I suppose. H-Hina.”
“Aw, no problem. Now, let’s go back out there and see how they're doing.”
When they come back, Byakuya looks wildly uncomfortable, but he’s talking. She can’t hear what he’s saying. But Sakura has a sympathetic look on her face, and more surprising, a hand hovering over his shoulder. He glances at Toko. She sniffles and smiles.
“Go,” Sakura says quietly.
Byakuya approaches her before gently taking her hand. Her heart skips a beat. “Is it alright with you if we talk here?”
“O-of course.” She swallows. “I'm sorry, Byakuya… I-I shouldn’t have assumed what you meant b-before getting all upset—”
“Why are you apologizing?” he demands.
“B-because—”
He sighs. “Rhetorical question. I am the one who should be sorry. It’s… not that I don’t think before speaking, but I’m not used to considering others’ feelings.” He looks like he’s about to shudder at the idea itself, but he shakes his head instead. “It's one of many things I have to adjust to. But you are right, in that I didn’t mean anything hurtful by it. Instead of saying you were lucky, I should have said we were lucky.”
The small amusement at her realization that he really does sound like an editor right now is drowned out by her relief. And vindictiveness — take that, Aoi. She was right.
“And the next part…” He rubs his temple. “Ugh, that was horrible. What I was trying to say, and my mouth severely sabotaged me from saying, is that I had not thought about dating you beforehand. I was a fool. Or perhaps in denial.” He glances at Sakura, who nods sagely. “I hadn’t thought being interested in someone was something I was capable of. I was wrong.”
“I-I understand.” Toko squeezes his hand, and he looks surprised for a few moments before he smiles. “I’m still sorry, b-but… At least we understand each o-other.”
“Right. Yes.” With such a soft look on his face he’s more gorgeous than ever. “Come here.”
Suddenly, she’s pulled forward. Into a hug. He’s hugging her in public. Toko thinks she could just melt onto the floor into a very happy, very red puddle. “What—?”
“Be quiet,” he mutters.
“Hey, Byakuya! I hugged her first!” Aoi cries.
“And this hug i-is more meaningful than yours could ever be!” Toko snaps. Aoi gasps indignantly.
“That’s so mean!”
“It’s true, though.” Byakuya laughs under his breath when Aoi groans angrily. “Don’t take it as an offense to yourself, it’s more of a praise of me as a partner.”
“You know, that’s starting to feel like an offense,” Aoi says. Toko glares at her, and she throws her hands up in the hair. “Whatever. Let’s go and order another round of churros.”
Sakura nods. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“We should probably go with them,” Byakuya says after they walk away. Toko wraps her arms around him tighter.
“Just a l-little longer…”
“... Alright.”
Yeah, she’s definitely going to melt. It’s a wonderful fate all things considered.