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Dean had just finished salting the windows and door and was in preparation of drawing a few protective symbols so he and Sam could turn in for the night and head to bed when he heard a loud thump from the other room.
“Sam?” he called out, not getting an answer made his heart immediately race as he shouted “Sammy!” and bolted towards the space where he’d left Sam to research on his computer.
A pang of relief flooded through him when he saw Sam sitting at the desk where he’d been before, but it was instantly washed away by concern as his little brother groaned in what could only be described as agony.
“Sammy? What’s wrong?” He said, trying to sound calm as he checked his little brother for injuries.
In that moment Sam stirred again, practically wailing as he slumped down, almost hitting his arm on the desk, had Dean not caught him. He slowly hefted Sam up and sat him down on the floor, still asking what was happening, concern now obvious in the way he regarded his little brother.
Another wave of pain seemed to hit Sam, his hands clutching so hard at his ears Dean was scared he might rip them off.
“Is it a vision? Hey Sammy, come on, talk to me please” Dean was getting increasingly worried as he gripped Sam's hands in an effort to stop them from damaging his ears.
Sam's visions had never been this intense before, at least not as far as Dean could tell and seeing his brother so affected by them made his stomach turn.
Sam tried fighting him, his hands grabbing at his flesh frantically, leaving scratch marks behind and drawing a bit of blood, Dean hissed as he tried to restrain Sam properly, trying not to freak him out even more.
Just as Sam seemed to settle down, making Dean feel a tiny bit of hope that it was over, Sam suddenly went rigid in his arms.
“Sam? Sammy come on man, calm down you’re okay” Dean tried to reassure his little brother as he readjusted his grip on the taller man. Sam was almost shouting in pain, his face twisted in what seemed to be fear.
Suddenly, it stopped, Sam went slack in his arms as if all the strength had left his body at once.
His breathing was still rapid, but his eyes seemed to finally register his surroundings again when he looked at Dean.
“I don’t- “Sam began to speak, or tried to, his throat didn’t seem to cooperate as he started coughing.
Dean immediately got up to get his little brother some water, “don’t worry Sammy I’ll be right back, just getting you some water.” He said as he headed to their bathroom with a glass in his hand.
When he came back out Sam seemed to be a bit more alert, or aware of his surroundings at least.
“Here Sammy, careful” he said as he put the glass against his mouth, not trusting Sam to hold it on his own as he took in the shaking hands of his little brother.
Sam drank the water quietly, afterwards he set it aside on the table his brother was still leaning against. “so..what did you see? Where do we need to go?” Dean asked, a bit worried.
Normally Sam would be up in seconds after the initial shock of his vision was over. Telling Dean they’d have to hurry to stop whatever ill fate would befall the strangers Sam saw.
His worry increased as Sam still didn’t seem to want to tell him what happened or at least tell him which direction to head to so they could help. He didn’t know what to do. Maybe it hadn’t been a vision? But that didn’t make any sense, what else would cause Sam to react the way he had?
Nothing seemed to make any sense as he glanced at his little brother again. He wasn’t going to get far with guessing, he supposed.
“Sam? Sammy, you need to tell me what happened, what did you see?” Dean placed his hands on Sam's shoulders as he spoke, trying to get him to listen.
“I..I don’t know” Sam spoke quietly, almost like a whisper. His eyes darted around.
“What do you mean you don’t know?! Come on Sammy, give me something to work with here!” Deanspoke loudly, not quite shouting but close enough. His worry causing him to be frantic and impatient
“I mean I don’t know! I don’t know what I saw Dean, I have no idea.” Sam was getting agitated now, his voice raising and his breathing speeding up. His hand making wild gestures, trying to get Dean to understand as his feelings overwhelmed him.
“Alright, okay...can you describe it to me maybe?” Dean asked, regretting his outburst.
“I am not sure, it was really dark and wet, maybe somewhere underground? But Dean, they were terrified, and Dean I-“ Sam stopped abruptly, given the situation, Dean would’ve thought he didn’t know what to say next but looking at his little brother’s face, he knew it was something else that kept him from telling Dean what happened.
“What is it? What’s wrong Sammy?” Dean asked, trying to keep his voice gentle.
“The vision was different this time.” Sam began, his voice trembling a bit. “I could feel everything, Dean. Their terror, the pain, it wasn’t like usual, not like I was watching them. It felt like I was them.” Sam's voice began to shake the more he talked.
“What happened to them?” Dean asked, trying not to let the worry for his brother creep into his voice as he unconsciously moved closer to his little brother, trying to shield him from all the pain in the world.
“The thing that had them, it didn’t just kill them Dean, it taunted them, and then-“ Sam's voice suddenly broke off, a pained whimper leaving his throat as his eyes closed, trying to blink away the tears that were starting to well up in his eyes.
Dean noticed Sams trembling, “How about we continue this conversation later? It’s starting to get late anyways” Dean said, not even caring about the person they’re meant to be saving when his brother was obviously distressed about it.
“No, we can’t, we’ve wasted too much time, we need to save them Dean.” Sam said, trying to put himself back together.
“Sam, you said yourself that you couldn’t see anything, there is no way we’ll find them in time.” Dean said, trying to reassure his brother.
“But we need to at least try, don’t we? I mean what kind of hunters would we be Dean, besides I can’t-“
“Can’t what? What’s wrong?” Dean asked, his worry starting to make him anxious once again. What had his little brother seen or felt that made him behave this way?
“I can’t let them go through that Dean, I can’t. Not them too, it’s too much, I can’t-“ Sam was rambling now, getting more and more upset as he spoke.
“Then we’ll call another hunter who’s in the area, maybe Jo but Sammy, we can’t go, not in the state you’re in right now.” Dean said, trying to soothe his brother as he rubbed circles onto his back.
Dean tried not to think about his brother's words too much as he hoisted him up by the arm, telling him he should take a shower to calm down and they’d talk after.
Dean was dreading it though. Whatever Sam was implying happened, didn’t sound good, and the fact that he made it seem like it had happened before sent his mind in 50 thousand directions, none of them pleasant.
While he was waiting, Dean decided that he should get ready for bed, his day clothes making him itchy.
As Sam came out of the shower he said “I think it was in a sewer, it was wet, and I could hear pipes running. I also heard a train somewhere in the distance and it smelled quite rural.”
“That’s good, I’ll tell Bobby and ask him to dig around, or maybe Ash, hell if anyone can find our victim based on just that it’s Ash.”
“Yeah, uhm thank you” Sam said, settling down on his bed.
“I’ll go make that call really quick and then we can talk alright? Or don’t. Whatever you need.” Dean said as he stepped out of their motel room, phone in hand.
Sam let out a deep breath as Dean left their room, the weight of the upcoming conversation heavy on his shoulders. He was scared, scared of talking about what happened, because that made it real.
He was also afraid that Dean wouldn’t care and that he’d tell him to just suck it up and be a man about it. Or that he should feel lucky about what happened.
Sam shuddered when he heard the door open as his brother walked back inside.
“Ash said he’d take care of it, whatever that means.” He couldn’t place the feeling he saw on Dean's face, but he was sure that he didn’t want to see it again.
“So…” Dean began, not really seeming sure of where to begin.
“So..” Sam answered, clinging to the last bit of casualness before his words would change the atmosphere around them, all the hurt curling around them like a snake squeezing the breath from its prey.
Well here goes nothing Sam thought as he began to speak, “it isn’t that bad, you’ll probably tell me I’m being stupid and I am but it’s just-“ Sam started blinking again rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay as his body betrayed him.
“In my vision, it was so cold, and I could feel someone’s hands on me, and at first, I couldn’t even tell what was happening, the confusion from the concussion made it hard to think.
But a few moments later those hands started burning, not literally but the feel of them, it made me want to crawl out of my own skin, you know?”
Dean said nothing, letting his little brother ramble on, scared that if he spoke now, Sam would shrink back into the safe space in his mind and never tell him what was going on.
“Their hands began to move lower, I think it was a demon, I couldn’t tell for sure but I think I saw black eyes. But it was hard, the person I was..with? They closed their eyes and it was like I knew what was coming.”
“I don’t know why it’s hitting me this bad” Sam said, wiping away one of his tears. “it’s not like it’s the first time someone touched me without…you know, asking.”
“But it was so much worse, my own terror amplified ten times worse, mixing with the person's mind I was with.” Sam was trembling again, his vision blurry and he was struggling to get the sentences out.
“God Dean, I can’t let that happen to them, not that.” Dean moved closer from the spot on Sam's bed he had picked when his brother started talking.
He glanced at Sam, taking in his face and making sure he was okay with this as he hugged his little brother.
Sam lost his composure completely, falling apart in his older brother’s arms.
“God I am so sorry Sammy” Dean didn’t know what he should do, didn’t know what he could say to make any of this okay so he just did what he could, holding Sam in his arms, protecting him.
“It’s okay, you’ll be okay.” Dean chanted like a prayer.
After a while, neither of them moving, feeling safe in each other's presence, Sam calmed down enough to talk again.
“We should probably go to sleep soon, it’s late”.
Dean agreed and they both got ready for bed in a quick manner.
Before Sam got into his bed he hesitated for a second, then began to push his bed towards Dean’s, looking at his face to make sure this was alright.
Dean responded by pushing his bed towards Sam’s and they both settled in, hugging each other.
None of them talked about it but they both knew Sam needed this, Dean's arms around him, protecting him as he sleeps. Keeping all the monsters away as he did when they were children after Sam had had a nightmare.
Sam would be okay, Dean is going to make sure of it.