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Michael sat at Gouma’s grave, covering the seeds he planted with dirt.
He reached out and brushed some dirt off the grave.
Michael stiffened as he felt breath on his neck, relaxing as he realized what was happening.
”Can’t you just leave me alone?”
’Gouma’ merely hummed in vague acknowledgment, his hand coming up to Michael’s neck.
”You’ve always loved to watch me suffer…, didn’t you?” Michael’s voice cut off as ‘Gouma’s’ hand squeezed, nails digging into his skin.
It’s not real. It’s not real….
”The most despicable and miserable soul? You call me such yet you sit here for hours at a time.
Who here is really miserable, Michael? Is it because you couldn’t save me..? Maybe if you were just a little quicker….” ’Gouma’s’ voice stung his ears.
Michael’s missed his voice…so much…. How cruel of his mind to use it in such a vile way.
Gouma was quite vile, wasn’t he?
How could he expect any form of kindness from even a hallucination of Gouma?
”Perhaps the hallucinations would stop if you didn’t surround yourself with reminders of him.” A familiar voice came from behind and Michael felt ‘Gouma’s’ grip disappear.
Aiko walked over, sitting by the grave next to Gouma’s and placed down a book by the grave.
“I know I shouldn’t…,” Michael agreed. “But…I can’t just leave him here, all alone…. You wouldn’t want to do that for Ego.”
“I’m not having hallucinations of Ego,” Aiko argued.
”Fair….”
Still…he couldn’t bring himself to try and forget Gouma all together. Somehow he feels like it would make the guilt filled hallucinations even worse.
Would Gouma be happy to know how much he haunts Michael’s every waking moment?
He did say he wished to be remembered.
He’d probably laugh at Michael’s pathetic state. How Michael so desperately wanted to cut his ties with Gouma and yet, even in death he still can’t escape.
"I don't understand the affection you hold for that general," Aiko admitted after a beat of silence. Michael jumped at her words. He never told her what his and Gouma's relationship had been, hell, he hasn't even told her he was interested in men!
"Affection's a...strong word."
"I won't judge you, I fell in love with a general as well. It's just...I've had far more interactions on the battlefield with Gouma...and I must say...he's a character."
"He really is," Michael agreed. "But...there was a hell of a lot behind that character."
"Even then...it seems like you have quite the negative image of him," Aiko pointed out.
"I do, I didn't know him all that well, at least not truly.... I don't think anybody did." Michael sighed. "What about Ego? What drew in you of all people?"
"'Of all people'. If I didn't know better, I'd think that was an insult." She casted him an amused side eye.
"Who said it wasn't?" Michael took a sip from his water bottle, only to nearly spit it all out as he saw a bug climbing on Gouma's grave. He managed to swallow the water before quickly standing up and backing away. "Not funny!" He glared at the grave, as though Gouma's spirit had willed the insect to land there to mess with Michael.
That is something he'd do. The affectionate voice in his head spoke.
Aiko didn't acknowledge Michael's foolish display.
"I'm unsure what drew me to Ego, at first it was just curiosity for his species...and I hadn't even thought of my feelings towards him as romantic until he confessed...."
"So...you didn't actually love him?"
"I wasn't sure at the time, I've never really felt that way towards anyone before. But...having time to look back on my feelings before his death, I know that I was, in fact, in love." Her eyes never left Ego's grave. "I hadn't been sure at the time, I just knew I greatly enjoyed my time with him and he made me feel...happy. But I felt happy around my other friends, so...I didn't know if my feelings were any different.
I feel cruel. He loved me so fiercely and I was unable to understand my feelings then so I couldn't do the same." Aiko's expression stayed neutral, but Michael was sure he wasn't imagining the waver in her voice. "I wish I could've shown him the same love he showed me...."
Michael didn't know exactly what to say, so he just placed a hand on her shoulder. Aiko said nothing as she leaned against his shoulder.
For her sake, he pretended not to see the tears in her eyes.
(When you're in a mischaracterizing your ex contest and your opponent is Michael)
(Kinda internalized homophobia in this one)
Aiko and Michael were walking through the city streets, Aiko took a bite out of her pastry.
”Do Mayumi and the princess know?” Michael asked suddenly.
”About me and Ego? Mayumi does, Shizuko only knew I had some type of friendly relationship with him. I don’t plan on telling her.”
“You haven’t really talked to her as much as before, is something going on?”
Oh…there’s a bit.
Even if they saved the kingdom, possibly the world together, it doesn’t erase what Aiko learned and doesn’t erase how she KNEW Shizuko was OKAY with it.
”We’re just busy.” She took another bite of the pastry.
“Gouma loved that pastry, sometimes when we met up, I brought him some. He kinda fell in love with them after trying them at a festival.”
”You brought him to a festival? How did no one know about that?”
”Didn't you know they can transform?” Aiko’s eyes lit up with interest.
”They can?! I didn’t know!” Aiko put the pastry in her mouth to hold it as she ruffled through her bag and pulled out her journal and pen. She opened up the page that had a picture of Ego on it and began writing.
”You…drew Ego? Did you write about him too?” Unable to answer, Aiko nodded. “These are going to the archives after you die, aren’t they? Aren’t you worried how you’ll be seen for having a relationship with a Mercenare?”
“Not really,” Aiko put her journal away and took the pastry out of her mouth. “I’ll be dead, it won’t affect me in any way. Besides, I doubt it’ll be brought to attention, probably not even mentioned in history books. Believe it or not, Trump Kingdom has quite the habit of rewriting history.”
“You’ve been acting kinda…bitter towards Trump Kingdom lately,” Michael chuckled nervously. “There anything I should know?”
”Not unless you want your whole sense of truth to be altered.”
”You would be the type to find out a world altering secret. Wait…there’s nothing about me and Gouma in there…right?” Aiko shrugged, enjoying the way Michael’s face paled.
“Wait! Just because you’re comfortable with your image being sullied doesn’t mean I AM!”
“Don’t worry, I’m kidding. I didn’t put anything about your relationship in here.”
”I’m going to check on my own time, just in case.”
”You ruin anything and I’ll fill your bed with bugs.”
Michael just laughed before the two fell onto a comfortable silence.
After a few moments, he spoke.
”You really have no worry about what others think of you…I envy you.”
”I don’t have NO care. I still take care to look presentable and act reasonably for the situation at hand.”
“Sure…,” Michael stifled a chuckle. “But…I wish I was as confident as you…, I care too much about what others think. My father, my peers, even my sister…. People call you a number of things and yet…you don’t care.”
”I’m aware I’m odd, and I’ve accepted it. You’re fairly normal, you followed your families usual path and are well respected, I don’t see what you have to worry about.” Michael averted his eyes and Aiko realized one thing….
”Ah, you mean that you like men-“ Michael hurried to cover her mouth, looking around only to notice that nobody was around, sighing in relief he pulled away.
”Yes. Okay…,” he wrung his hands. “It’s weird…isn’t it? It’s…not normal.” Michael turned away shamefully. “I’m not…normal.”
Aiko merely hummed and leaned against the stone railing.
”I’m not the right person to ask if you want to know what’s ‘normal’. Frankly, I don’t think it matters either way. There are way bigger things to fear than two men liking each other. But I do suppose you’re right that those people are shunned, so if you want to keep hold of your reputation, I recommend keeping it in the dark. But you have no need to fear judgment from me.”
Michael smiled gently, scratching the back of his head.
”Thanks…, the only other people I’ve ever told were my sister and her husband…but even they seem to think that I’ll just get over it once I find the right person, it kinda sucks, but…it feels good having someone who doesn’t think I’m…weird.”
”It’s okay, I have plenty other things to judge you for, don’t need to add that one.”
”Oh? What else?” Michael cocked his head. “I have my flaws but not that many.”
”Your fear of bugs, you’re overly emotional, overly sensitive, awful at hiding your feelings, socially anxious, want too desperately for everyone to like you-“ Aiko was cut off as Michael shoved her into the fountain.
Aiko lifted her bag to save her journal and writing utensils from getting wet because of course she did. Michael seemed to immediately regret his actions.
”Oh gods- I’m so sorry! I-I don’t know what got into me!” He reached out his hand to help her out. Aiko took it, and immediately dragged him into the fountain as she stood up.
”If my book was ruined, I would’ve held your head underwater until you croaked.” Despite her sharp words, amusement lilted her voice.
Michael gave a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head.
(Just a funny scene I wanted to write featuring Aiko’s dad)
”Thanks for the help, Michael. I’m not the physical labor type if you couldn’t tell.” Aiko put down the buckets of paint in her hands.
Michael placed down a whole crate of them next to the two buckets.
”What do you need all this paint for, anyways?”
”It’s not for me, it’s for my father.”
“Right, he’s an artist, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, although he works as a carpenter on the side, so he asked me to pick these up for him.” Michael glanced at the whole crate of paint.
”How does he normally pick this stuff up? Do you guys have a carriage of some sort? This is too heavy for a painter carry all on his own, I’m sure.”
”Well-“
”Ah! Aiko, you got the paint! Thanks so much!” Aiko’s father stepped up the hill. He wasn’t the type you’d expect from a painter.
Her father was incredibly well built and tall, looking more like a lumberjack or a soldier. He had pure white hair like Aiko did, short messy hair and an anchor beard.
“You must be Aiko’s friend!” He walked over to Michael, his voice booming as usual, extending his hand to a now frozen Michael. “Thank you so much for helping my daughter, what a gentleman!”
Michael’s face began to turn a deep red.
“Oh- this- pffft! It was nothing! I’m willing to help out any time! Hehehehehehe!” He shook Aiko’s fathers hand, praying to every god they weren’t as sweaty as he thought they were and trying to keep the awkward smile off his face.
Aiko’s father put the two buckets in the crate and picked it up like it was nothing.
”Thanks again, come by any time!”
Michael blinked a few times, dazed. Aiko gave him a judgmental stare.
”Banish whatever thoughts about my father you have.”
”I didn’t say anything!” Michael’s face became even redder, if that was possible.
”You didn’t have to. Let’s go, I’m never letting you near him again.”