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Chapter Text

Sometimes Charlie wondered what it would be like if he was out at school. Maybe if everyone knew he was gay, some cute boy would approach him and he’d get a boyfriend.

The trouble was that Charlie didn’t really like attention, and the idea of every kid in the school paying attention to him just because he happens to like boys was stressful to say the least. Being the only out gay kid at an all boys school just seemed like a really bad idea, so Charlie had decided to fly under the radar at school after he’d come out to his family in ninth grade.

Most of the time it was fine, but sometimes he had to answer stupid questions about his fake girlfriends.

Instead of a love life at school, Charlie had rules. Rules he’d made up himself that he absolutely did not break.

First, there was no staring at cute guys at school. Ever. It didn’t matter how attractive they were. This had so far only been an issue when Charlie was in gym class outside and the rugby team was practicing. There was just this one guy on the team that kinda looked like a golden retriever puppy and Charlie had a hard time turning his eyes away.

Second, no talking about anything at school that might imply he liked boys. Charlie knew all it took was being overheard once and he could be outed by accident. This rule he made his friends follow too, so they basically only talked about Tao’s love life at school, while Charlie and Isaac listened. The results of this were that Charlie and Isaac were both quite sick of listening to Tao talk about Elle. Isaac and Charlie tended to start up a very deliberate conversation about one of Tao’s favourite movies when they couldn’t take it anymore.

Third, if you can’t avoid the question, just pretend you are seeing some girl outside of school. If it is mentioned again later, say you broke up. This one was tricky because straight guys liked to brag about all the girls they were snogging. Charlie had no interest in this conversation, but that didn’t stop people from trying to talk to him about it. Charlie had learned early on that a small lie was the fastest way to end such conversations. On weekends at his house or Tao’s place he and his friends would joke about all the girls Charlie had supposedly dated, but never at school.

Two years of following his rules and Charlie was still the quiet kid that no one noticed. He knew that was a good thing. It meant his plan was working, but sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be out at school.

“Hey nerd!” Harry’s voice rang clear as a bell across the school yard.

And then Charlie remembered why it was best to get through high school without making any waves. Because people like Harry Greene existed. The kid Harry had decided to pick on today had just gotten glasses, which had been enough to incur Harry’s wrath.

“I wish the teachers would do something about him,” Tao grumbled, putting down his sandwich. “He’s a hazard to the entire student body.”

“I think he got suspended for it once,” Isaac said.

“Clearly, it didn't help,” Tao replied.

Charlie finished his sandwich and started on his apple. Tao and Isaac continued talking but the topic did switch to the movie they’d all watched last week. Charlie joined in and they’d all agreed to watch the sequel this weekend by the time the bell rang.

He packed up his empty lunch containers and stood up before walking back into the school with his friends. Their lockers weren’t close together, so they parted ways to collect their things and head to class.

Charlie had his mixed grade form class next. He walked into the classroom and went up to the teacher to get his assigned seat.

“Let’s see, where did I put you in the seating plan… ah yes you're over there,” the teacher said, pointing. “Next to Nicholas Nelson. He’s in year twelve, so only one year older than you. One of the rugby boys too, I think. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly. Or you can sit in silence for the rest of the year. Really doesn’t affect me in any way whatsoever.”

Someone on the rugby team didn’t sound great, but then Charlie turned and realized it was worse than that. He was seated right next to the puppy eyed rugby player. The one he worked so hard not to stare at in gym class.

Suddenly the entire school year felt like a disaster waiting to happen. How the hell was Charlie supposed to sit next to this guy and not accidentally out himself? Charlie may never have spoken to Nick before but he knew who Nick hung out with. He knew Harry would find out Charlie was gay if Nicholas did.

Even if he could think of a good reason to ask the teacher for a seating change, he knew it wouldn’t work. There was nothing else for it. As he walked towards the desk, Charlie made a resolution to keep his eyes facing forward no matter what. One hour a day, five days a week wasn’t really that much time if you thought about it. Charlie had managed to hide at school this long. This Nicholas Nelson wasn’t going to be the reason he broke his rules, no matter how hot he was.

Charlie sat down and put his books on the table between him and Nicholas.

“Um, hi,” the guy said.

Charlie said hi back without turning to look at him. He’d decided to try lack of eye contact and short answers to avoid any meaningful conversation here.

It seemed to be working because Nick didn’t try to talk to him again that day.

The following day Charlie hadn’t been paying attention when he’d walked into the classroom and his shoulder accidentally bumped into Nick’s as they both tried to walk through the door at the same time. Charlie turned and noticed that Nick had been walking while staring at his phone.

“Hi,” Nick said again.

“Hi,” Charlie said back, looking down at his feet. Must avoid those puppy dog eyes or he was going to stare at them for the entire hour.

Charlie backed up and let Nick walk in first, before entering the classroom and sitting down. He put his books between them again and pretended to focus on studying while he waited for his heart rate to slow down. Why did this guy have to be so freaking beautiful? It was unfair.

A couple more days went by without incident, and Charlie started to relax. He’d gotten through a whole week. Maybe it would all be fine?

But then on Monday Charlie was walking to one of his classes and saw Nick walking the other way down the hall.

“Hi,” Nick said.

Charlie was so unprepared to see Nick looking right at him, especially outside of their shared class. He didn’t really think. He just reacted.

“Hi,” Charlie said, looking right back at Nick.

Thankfully his legs kept moving and he was able to walk away quickly. Charlie knew he couldn’t let that happen again. No eye contact allowed.

It happened again a few days later. They ran into each other in the hallway and Charlie almost broke. Just in time, he managed to look off to the side when he replied and then ran off.

What really confused him was why this guy wanted to say hi to him so much in the first place. It wasn’t like Nick was some closeted gay kid hiding in an all boys school. Nick was one of the popular kids. He played school sports. He was older. He was straight. He was cool. He had absolutely no reason to be talking to Charlie and yet he kept doing it. It was beyond unbelievable.

Once Charlie noticed Nick in the hallway when Nick didn’t see him. Nick was walking while scribbling on some papers with a folder under them for support. Charlie just barely managed to get a glimpse of what was written on the paper and realized that Nick was doing his maths homework while walking down the hallway. So chaotic! What was this guy’s deal anyway?

Charlie kept walking in the opposite direction. It really wasn’t his business. He pushed past the school doors outside and turned to join Tao and Isaac at their usual table. He really wanted to talk to them about this, but he knew they couldn’t at school. Instead, he pretended to listen to Tao go into details about his date with Elle last weekend.

Nick and his friends showed up to play a mock rugby match outside over the lunch hour, in full view of Charlie at his picnic table. Charlie turned his attention away very pointedly. He saw at once that Tao noticed. His best friend turned to see what Charlie wasn’t looking at and then pulled out his phone.

A few moments later Charlie got a text message.

‘You usually don’t look so intense when you don’t stare,’ Tao’s message read. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Charlie texted back: ‘Not at school. My place after school?’

‘Sure,’ Tao texted back and then put his phone away.

Isaac changed the topic to the book he was reading and eventually the bell rang. Charlie got through the rest of his classes and then walked home with his friends. Tao and Charlie naturally invited Isaac to join them and soon all three were walking in the direction of Charlie’s house.

“So do you still want to talk about it?” Tao asked once they were safely inside Charlie’s bedroom.

Charlie sighed. “You know I’m stuck sitting next to Nick in form.”

“Yeah you said last week,” Tao remembered. “Rugby king Nick.”

“Well he keeps saying hi to me,” Charlie explained. “Like every time he sees him it’s ‘hi’ with a smile on his face. It’s really weird.”

“He’s probably just being polite,” Tao replied.

“Well I think I’d rather he was rude,” Charlie sighed.

“Nicholas Nelson,” Tao said thoughtfully. “You know I heard a rumor about him a while back. He likes some girl he kissed at a party years back.”

“Is she his girlfriend?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t think so,” Tao answered. “Or at least I haven’t heard any rumors about it. Maybe it’s a one sided thing.”

“That doesn’t really help me though, does it?” Charlie sighed. “Even if his crush is unrequired it’s still on a girl.”

“Have you guys talked much or is this just a ‘you can’t stand how hot he is’ thing?” Tao asked. Charlie threw a pillow at him.

“Oi!” Tao objected and they both laughed.

“He’s really hot, okay?” Charlie whined. “Form is a very long hour. I try to keep my books on the table between us but the table isn’t that big.”

“If we weren’t talking about the rugby king here I’d say you could maybe try and get to know him, find out if he’s trustworthy, but Nick is friends with Harry.”

“I know!” Charlie groaned.

“Have you tried getting out of the class somehow?” Issac suggested.

Charlie sighed. “The teacher is super unsympathetic to any lame idea I can think of. I can’t tell him the truth and I have a feeling he wouldn’t care even if he knew.”

Each of his friends gave him a big hug at the same time. In the middle of a hug-sandwich, Charlie realized how badly he’d needed it. His friends were the best.

“The man does look like a golden retriever,” Tao said when the hug ended. “Even I can tell he ain’t ugly.”

“Thanks,” Charlie laughed at his token supportive straight friend’s take on the matter.

Tao, Charlie, and Isaac spent an enjoyable evening playing a board game – which Tao won – and then they watched a movie.

Charlie tried not to think about Nick once his friends left. He mostly succeeded. Between his mother always nagging him about something and his big sister, Tori, just appearing out of nowhere like she did, home offered many distractions.

But the next day at school when Charlie arrived at form, Nick wasn’t there. Charlie thought Nick was just late but then class started and he still wasn’t there. When Nick did finally show up, his hands were bright blue and he had splatters of blue on his white shirt. Charlie couldn’t help it. The curiosity was too much.

“What happened?” he asked.

“My pen exploded," Nick groaned. “I can’t get it off! I washed my hands so many times. I still look like I’m wearing blue gloves.”

Charlie laughed despite himself. “You could start a new trend,” he sniggered before turning away and making sure not to look at Nick again for the rest of the hour.

Chapter Text

After almost two months of being ignored by Charlie Spring in his form class, Nick was starting to think Charlie hated him. Even if Charlie said hi back, he always turned away afterwards. The most they’d interacted so far was when Nick’s pen had exploded, and even then Charlie had just said a few more words than usual.

Nick wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn Charlie’s dislike so quickly. He also wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. Nick just knew that it did. He wanted Charlie to look at him. He wanted Charlie to talk to him.

Sometimes when Nick passed Charlie in the hallways, he caught himself staring at Charlie. Once during rugby practice he looked out over the field and saw Charlie running. Charlie ran so fast. Nick had just stood there and watched Charlie run, mesmerized by the way the guy moved. There was something alluring about Charlie that Nick didn’t understand. Whatever it was, Nick didn’t have any interest in fighting it. He’d never been quite so focused on another person before and it was exciting, but also confusing.

Because Nick didn’t feel like his focus on Charlie was quite right. Staring at Charlie running made him feel warm. When Charlie turned away from him in form class, Nick felt something close to rejection, which didn’t really make sense– though he supposed Charlie was rejecting his friendship in a way, so maybe that was the issue here.

The trouble was that the only way to explore this feeling was to spend more time with Charlie, and Charlie seemed very against the idea. With the way Charlie ran, Nick’s first instinct was to invite Charlie to join the rugby team as a reserve. He could teach Charlie to play and it would mean a lot of time together, but Nick knew that wouldn’t work. Charlie had zero interest in simply talking to him. There was no way he’d say yes to joining the rugby team. Nick just didn’t know how else to try to get Charlie to talk with him more.

He tried a few more times to start a conversation with Charlie during form, but Charlie very pointedly kept his eyes averted even when he did answer.

Finally at a loss, Nick decided to ask around and see if anyone else knew anything about Charlie.

“He’s that guy who’s always dating a different girl from some school no one’s heard of,” one of the guys on the rugby team, Otis, said.

For some reason Nick didn’t like this answer. “Where did you hear that?” Nick asked, trying to hide his reaction.

“I did a school play with his friend Tao last year,” Otis answered.

Even if Charlie wasn’t single, this didn’t explain why he couldn’t be friends with Nick. Friends. Yes, that must be what Nick wanted from Charlie. That made sense… so why didn’t it feel correct?

Nick shook his head, trying to clear it, but the image of Charlie’s blue eyes and black curly hair refused to leave his mind.

He went through the rest of the day, thinking about Charlie sporadically. By the time he got home, Nick decided to give in to his impulses. He opened up his phone and searched Instagram for Charlie’s profile. He scrolled through posts about a few of Charlie’s friends but there wasn’t anything else there. Why was that disappointing?

Then he found a post that actually had Charlie’s face in it. Beside his face was a cat that had the exact same colouring as Charlie. The caption was a joke about how scientists couldn’t tell the two apart. Nick grinned down at his phone. He zoomed in on Charlie’s face and just looked at his smile.

For a moment Nick saw himself as if not through his own eyes. Like an out of body experience. What the hell was he doing? Nick exited the app and decided to get started on his homework.

He wanted to be Charlie’s friend. That’s all. And if they couldn’t be that, Nick wanted to at least know why. He didn’t understand how someone could dislike him so completely without actually knowing him. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to want to know.

The next day in form class, Nick decided it was time to try a more direct approach.

“Hi Charlie,” Nick said.

“Um, hi,” Charlie said, turning away like he always did.

Nick took a deep breath and then spoke as plainly as he could. “Is there some reason you don’t like talking to me? Did I offend you or something?”

To his great relief, the direct approach seemed to have at least some effect. Charlie looked up from his papers and stared right into Nick’s eyes. Nick’s heart beat kicked up a notch for no apparent reason as he stared back.

“You didn’t do anything,” Charlie said with a polite smile. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Let’s just study.” And then Charlie turned away again.

Nick felt a sudden jolt of frustration. His hand moved without his deciding to move it and suddenly his fingers were resting on Charlie’s forearm. Even without seeing Charlie’s face, Nick could hear his gasp of surprise. Nick quickly pulled his hand away. Why had he done that?

“Sorry,” Nick said. “I just- well, I want us to be friends, if that’s okay with you.”

Charlie turned to stare at Nick with the most dumbfounded look on his face, Nick could hardly believe it.

“You want to be friends?” Charlie repeated, clearly stunned. His mouth was even hanging open a little bit. It was so cute.

“Yeah,” Nick said, smiling for no reason at all.

“But you're on the rugby team,” Charlie said as if this explained something obvious that Nick completely didn’t understand.

“What does that have to do with us being friends?” Nick asked, laughing a little.

“This is high school,” Charlie explained. “You're a cool kid and I’m a borderline outcast.”

Nick couldn’t help laughing. This guy was funny. “I don’t care about that,” Nick said easily, because it was true. He really didn’t.

“Is that why you are always saying hi to me? Because you want to be friends?” Charlie asked.

“Well yeah,” Nick replied. He really didn’t understand why Charlie looked so shocked.

“You weren’t just being polite or something?" Charlie asked.

Nick laughed a little as he spoke. “Yeah, politely trying to be your friend.”

“Um, okay then,” Charlie said after a moment's hesitation.

“Okay what?”

“Let’s be friends.”

“Great,” Nick said, feeling a real sense of relief. He was staring at Charlie before he knew he was doing it. What did friends talk about? He should probably say something. They were in school, so school was a safe topic, right?

“What are you working on?” Nick gestured towards the books and papers on Charlie’s side of the desk.

“Maths,” Charlie replied.

“Oh, I hate maths,” Nick groaned.

“It isn’t so bad,” Charlie shrugged.

“That’s because you’re good at it,” Nick countered. Why was he smiling again? He was just happy Charlie wasn’t mad at him.

Before Charlie could reply, the teacher scolded them for talking and they had to spend the rest of the hour in silence, but it didn’t feel as awkward as the silence had before. Nick was glad of it.

This time when class ended, Charlie actually looked at him and waved goodbye before leaving the classroom. Nick waved back, feeling a bit strange, but in a good way. Nick decided not to dwell on whatever this feeling was and focus on just being happy that Charlie had agreed to be his friend.

Nick had a little extra pep in his step at rugby later that day and then the next day when he said hi to Charlie in form, Charlie didn’t turn away. The books Charlie usually placed between them had even shifted to the other side of the table. Nick couldn’t believe how happy the small change made him.

“What do friends in different social standings talk about?” Charlie asked after they’d said hello.

“I think probably the same as any other people,” Nick replied. He wasn’t sure why Charlie was so fixated on the popular thing. Nick had never really considered himself popular before. He just liked playing rugby.

“What’s it like being in twelfth year?” Charlie asked. “Have you thought about uni yet?”

Nick shrugged. “It’s barely November,” he said. “I think I have some time left to plan.”

“You could just take a gap year if you aren’t sure,” Charlie suggested.

“I guess,” Nick answered. He really couldn’t think about next year right now. He was entirely caught up in the moment.

“I confess I haven’t really thought about it yet. Being in eleventh year and all.”

Charlie was looking at him. His curly hair covered half his forehead and he was smiling. Nick couldn’t look away, but if he didn’t say something soon it might count as staring. His first thought was to ask if Charlie had a girlfriend, but surely that wasn’t important. What should he say? Nick felt like he might have forgotten how to talk.

“I’m working on English today,” Charlie said, turning his gaze back down to his school work.

Nick didn’t like that Charlie had turned away, but he was also grateful for a break from the eye contact. Everything to do with Charlie was so different than his other friends, so much more intense. Nick hardly knew what to make of it.

“English, right,” he said lamely.

The teacher called them to attention then and Nick turned to face the teacher with a sense of relief. He needed a moment to collect himself.

By the time form ended, Nick felt like he had calmed down. Then Charlie looked at him and waved goodbye and Nick’s pulse jumped again. Charlie turned and left the classroom and Nick tried to ignore his strange reaction. He went to his next class and tried to focus on school work. It took more will power than he’d expected to keep his mind from wandering back to Charlie.

When he arrived at school the next morning, Nick knew he was a bit too excited to see Charlie in form class, but he decided not to think about it. He was just going to enjoy talking with Charlie for the one hour a day they got together. His breathing and heart rate kept trying to interrupt his conversation with his friend, but Nick was getting better at ignoring it.

Within a week Nick was feeling greedy. An hour a day with Charlie wasn’t enough, but he didn’t know how to go about changing their pattern. It had taken him months just to get Charlie to talk to him. Would Charlie really agree to spend time with Nick outside school? Was it worth risking rejection to ask him? Nick wasn’t sure.

But as time went on, he started thinking about Charlie more and more. The one hour in form felt a bit like trying to eat a single potato chip while leaving the rest of the bag untouched. Was he addicted to Charlie? Was that even a thing? Charlie wasn’t an illegal substance or anything.

One morning they got on the topic of dogs and Nick pulled out his phone to show Charlie the pictures he had of Nellie.

“She is so sweet!” Charlie said at once. “I wish my parents would let me get a dog. They don’t like pets.”

This was it. This was his chance. It would be so easy. Such a perfect excuse. If Charlie said no they would still have form class, so what did he have to lose?

“Um, did you want to meet her?” Nick asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like do you want to come round my house this weekend and meet my dog?”

The few seconds of silence before Charlie spoke dragged on while Nick thought of all the ways Charlie could say no.

“Um, okay, sure,” Charlie mumbled, but he was smiling.

“Great,” Nick said. “You free on Saturday?”

Charlie nodded. They were looking at each other again and Nick couldn’t turn away.

When the bell rang they both jumped slightly before packing up their books.

Chapter Text

Nick POV
Chapter Title: Knots

Why was Nick nervous about his friend coming over? He’d had friends come round his house before. He’d never been nervous about it.

Just then the doorbell rang and Nick jumped up at once to get it, making sure Nellie came along with him. Nick opened the door and there by some miracle stood Charlie. He was wearing a beanie hat and scarf with the same coat he usually wore to school.

“Hi,” Charlie said, taking off his beanie.

“Hi,” Nick said back. Nellie made her way around Nick to greet the new person. “This is Nellie.”

Charlie squatted down at once to scratch Nellie behind the ears. “Hey Nellie. You’re so adorable.”

Nellie very clearly liked Charlie and Nick found he was quite happy to see them get along.

When Charlie stood up, Nick noticed at once that he’d gotten a hair cut. He wanted to reach out and touch Charlie’s hair, but he caught himself. They’d just started talking. It was probably too early for casual friend-type touching, but was it okay if he told Charlie his hair looked good? Nick wasn’t sure so he decided to keep it to himself.

“You’d better come inside or Nellie will think we are going for a walk,” Nick said, taking a step back to let Charlie inside.

“Should we take her for a walk?” Charlie asked as the door closed behind him.

“Maybe later,” Nick offered. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted to stay here.

“Alright,” Charlie smiled. Nick watched as Charlie took off his coat. He turned away to look at Nellie, unsure why he’d been staring. Nick took Charlie’s coat and hung it up.

“Um, do you want to play Mario Kart?” Nick asked. He’d spent half the morning trying to think of things they could do together when Charlie came over and this was the best he’d been able to come up with.

“Yes!” Charlie replied enthusiastically.

Nick smiled, feeling like he’d picked the right activity. They walked up to Nick’s room together and Charlie sat on his bed while Nick set up the game.

It only took two races for Nick to realize why Charlie had been interested in playing. Charlie was very good at this game. Nick lost three more games before he decided it was pointless to try and beat Charlie at Mario Kart racing.

“How are you so good at this game?”

“You get to be good at real sports,” Charlie said, grinning. “I get to be good at fake ones.”

“I think you might just be good at everything,” Nick disagreed.

“I am not.”

“You are! You're a proper little nerd.”

“I’m not.”

“Let’s see,” Nick began his list. “You’re good at video games. Literally all subjects in school, but especially maths. Befriending dogs and you are good at sports. You run so fast!”

“When did you see me run?”

“I, um, saw you in gym class at school,” Nick explained, trying to pretend that his face wasn’t warmer.

“Were you staring at me?” Charlie laughed.

“No,” Nick replied too quickly.

“You were,” Charlie laughed.

“I’m captain of the rugby team,” Nick explained. “It’s my job to scout for new players. We could use a few more reserves on the team.”

“Ah uh,” Charlie teased.

“Shut up,” Nick laughed. It felt like he was always laughing and smiling around Charlie. Everything with Charlie was so different than with his other friends, but he thought that made sense since Charlie was way nicer than any of his other friends.

“We both know I am too small and weak to play rugby,” Charlie laughed. “No matter how fast I run.”

“Not true,” Nick argued. “Being fast and agile are very useful in rugby.”

“Ha!” Charlie scoffed, clearly disbelieving. Nick was prepared to go into great detail about the rules of the game and how it is in fact useful if someone on the team can run with the ball and weave through the other players to score, but he didn’t get the chance.

“Did you want to take Nellie for a walk now?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah,” Nick agreed. He didn’t really want to go for a walk. He wanted to sit on his bed with Charlie, but he couldn’t explain to himself why so there was no reason not to take Nellie for a walk.

He stood up and they went back downstairs. Nick collected Nellie’s leash from where it was usually hung up near the door. Nellie got excited when she realized what was happening. It wasn’t until they opened the front door that Nick realized how much colder it was outside than it had been when Charlie arrived.

“Do you want a sweater?” Nick asked.

“I’m fine,” Charlie replied quickly.

“It’s really not a problem,” Nick said. “You could put it on under your coat. It’s chilly.”

“My coat will be fine,” Charlie said with a smile so Nick let it go.

He’d wanted Charlie to accept his help, but it was more than that. He wanted Charlie to wear his sweater. It was silly, but it was true. In just his coat, Nick was worried Charlie would be cold, but he didn’t know what else he could do about it.

Leaning down, Nick attached the leash in his hand to Nellie’s collar. She wagged her tail happily.

Nick walked to the park he usually took Nellie to, with Charlie following behind. They talked easily on the walk, but Nick didn’t have the guts to bring up any topics he really wanted to know about.

Instead they somehow ended up on the topic of Charlie’s friends.

“She’s basically all Tao talks about,” Charlie was saying. “And nothing against Elle but Isaac and I have decided Tao needs some new hobbies.” Charlie laughed. Nellie barked her approval. “See, Nellie gets it.”

“How long have they been together?” Nick asked conversationally.

“They’ve liked each other for ages,” Charlie replied. “But they finally kissed on that Paris trip last year and they have basically been inseparable ever since.”

“That’s nice,” Nick said, unsure how else to respond. “And Elle goes to Higgs right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie replied. “Do you know any of the girls at Higgs?”

“Just my friend Imogen,” Nick answered easily.

“That’s it?” Charlie asked, surprised.

Nick laughed. “Why would I lie about that?”

“Well I heard a rumor you had a crush on a girl from there,” Charlie explained. “You kissed her at a party or something.”

“Oh,” Nick said. Until this exact moment he had rather forgotten about that. “I mean that did happen, I guess. It was ages ago though.”

“But you did like her?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah,” Nick replied. He was a little stunned by the direction their conversation had taken. Why did Charlie want to hear about something so insignificant that happened when he was thirteen? Did Charlie think that Nick routinely went around kissing girls he didn’t like? Something about that idea didn’t sit well with him. Nick wasn’t that type of guy and he didn’t want Charlie to think he was.

When they reached the park, Nellie wanted to run and Charlie seemed keen to join her. Nick took Nellie’s leash off and then the two of them ran off together. Charlie was a fast runner, but he was also a joyful runner. He seemed to be enjoying the exercise almost as much as Nellie. Charlie smiled and Nellie barked and Nick realized he was staring again.

Tearing his eyes away from the scene, Nick went to sit down in front of the huge old log that was his usual spot when he took Nellie here. Eventually Charlie joined him along with a panting Nellie.

“This is a really nice park,” Charlie said. “And it’s so close to my house. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“You don’t have a dog,” Nick replied. “I find it helps to have a dog to know where the good parks are.”

“Fair enough,” Charlie laughed. He was looking around, still taking in the scenery. The exercise had left a slight flush to Charlie’s skin, that added to his smile and Charlie’s whole face seemed brighter. Nick wasn’t sure when he’d started staring again.

“If you want, we could take Nellie for a walk again sometime,” Nick suggested.

“Yeah for sure,” Charlie replied quickly.

Nick couldn’t believe how relieved he felt. When had he become so desperate to spend more time with Charlie? Did he even care why? He just wanted to follow this feeling.

“I think Nellie really likes hanging out with you,” Nick said, and even though it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t the whole truth either. Nick was the one who really liked hanging out with Charlie.

“Lucky me,” Charlie replied with a smile as he reached out to scratch Nellie behind the ears. Nellie affectionately communicated to Charlie that she adored his attention and for a whole second Nick thought he might be jealous of his dog.

“Did you want to head back?” Nick asked standing up, feeling like he needed a change of activity to clear his head.

“We are actually like half way to my house,” Charlie answered. “So I thought I’d just head home.”

“Oh,” Nick replied. “Well can Nellie and I walk you home then?”

“It’s in the opposite direction,” Charlie explained.

Nick shrugged. “I’m sure Nellie will love the long walk.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Charlie agreed.

Nick let Charlie lead the conversation while they walked. He didn’t really trust his emotions right now and was worried he’d say something confusing by accident.

When they reached Charlie’s house, he knelt down to say goodbye to Nellie before standing up and addressing Nick.

“I’ll see you Monday then,” Charlie said with a smile.

“Um yeah,” Nick replied. “See you then.”

And Charlie disappeared behind his front door.

Nick just stood there for a few seconds as he collected himself. Then he turned and walked Nellie back home. He would see Charlie in form on Monday and no matter what else didn’t make sense right now, Nick knew he was happy about that.

He spent the rest of the weekend doing nothing much. He almost texted Charlie a couple times, asking if he wanted to go on another walk but decided against it.

On Monday, Nick could hardly believe how happy he was to see Charlie sitting at their table when he walked into the room. Usually Nick made sure to be early to form so he would be waiting there when Charlie walked in, but today he’d overslept.

“Hi,” Nick said as he sat down beside Charlie at their desk.

“Hi,” Charlie replied. “You were almost late.”

“I know!” Nick groaned. “Mom didn’t wake me cause she thought I’d set an alarm.”

“I’m so used to you already being here when I sit down,” Charlie laughed. “I thought maybe you were home sick.”

“Nope, just home asleep,” Nick laughed.

“I’m glad you aren’t sick,” Charlie replied. “Being sick is the worst.”

“Definietly,” Nick said. Their eyes met and Nick felt like he couldn’t look away. He wanted another excuse to spend time with Charlie -- he wanted to keep feeling like this -- but what could he suggest they do?

The teacher spoke at that moment and Nick jumped, feeling hot from embarrassment as he turned his attention back to school work.

The problem was that he couldn’t concentrate on maths at the best of times. Nick had stared at the same questions for ages when he heard Charlie speak.

“You forgot to subtract the three,” Charlie said.

“Huh what?” Nick said, looking up from his confusing homework to look at the friend who confused him.

“See here,” Charlie said, reaching over to point to Nick’s homework before explaining in perfect detail exactly how Nick could get the right answer.

“Wow,” Nick said. “You should be teaching my maths class.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Charlie dismissed the compliment. Nick decided he wasn’t allowed.

“I’m a grade higher than you and you can still do my homework better than me,” Nick explained the reason why Charlie had to accept the compliment.

“Yeah but the basics don’t change, do they?” Charlie shrugged.

Nick gave up. Charlie clearly had no idea how smart he was. Nick looked back at his maths homework and then back at Charlie.

“Do you want help with the rest of it?” Charlie laughed.

“Maybe,” Nick said. “If you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind,” Charlie replied easily. Nick pushed the worksheet closer to Charlie and listened with rapt attention.

When form ended, they said goodbye and Nick thanked him again for his help all the while thinking about how much he hated that they wouldn’t see each other again until the following morning.

At lunch, Nick was sitting on his own, ignoring his friends. He pulled out his phone and opened the tab to text Charlie. Maybe he could suggest they take Nellie for a walk after school?

“Who are you texting?” It was Imogen’s voice. Nick quickly hid his phone.

“Your mum,” he said lamely, but he still heard the guys laugh behind him. Texting Charlie felt private. He didn’t want to explain anything to her about his friendship with Charlie.

“Great joke,” Imogen teased him. “Very original. Seriously, who are you texting?”

Nick had been friends with Imogen since year seven and he was usually so comfortable with her, but when she reached for his phone Nick panicked slightly. He moved it out of her reach. To his relief she didn’t try harder to get it.

“I just wanna know who you are crushing on,” Imogen teased him. Nick just stared at her, unblinking. “Oh come on! I saw that smile.”

“I didn’t smile,” Nick replied too quickly.

“Okay fine, don’t tell me,” Imogen said. As she turned to walk off she added, “But you are definitely chirpsing on someone.”

He kept his phone in his pocket for the rest of the day. He even managed to not think about Charlie all evening, that is until he started on his homework. Then Nick thought of Charlie helping him with his homework before and got completely distracted again.

Nick arrived early to form the next day and sat in their spot, looking up at the door every time anyone walked in. When it was finally Charlie who appeared, Nick couldn’t keep a smile off his face. It was just impossible not to be happy around Charlie. Nick didn’t know why and he was enjoying it too much to want to over think it.

“Hi,” Nick said, grinning like an idiot.

“Hi,” Charlie replied with a smile.

“Um,” Nick began, then he just powered through. “Do you want to come walk Nellie with me again?”

“Yeah sure,” Charlie answered. “On the weekend?”

“Or after school some time,” Nick countered. He might actually be an addict, but he wasn’t all that sure if he cared.

“I’m free after school today,” Charlie said.

“Sounds great,” Nick said, relieved Charlie didn’t think he was being annoying or something.

For the rest of form, they did school work together, Charlie offering to help him multiple times and Nick couldn’t say no. Charlie just had a way of making homework more fun and much easier.

When form ended, Nick had the dog walk later to look forward to so he focused on that. School finished for the day and Nick realized they hadn’t actually decided where they were going to meet up. Nick walked down the main hall thinking maybe he should just text Charlie, but then he saw Charlie. He was in the hall, fighting with something in his locker.

Nick walked over to him and said hey. Charlie clearly hadn’t heard him coming, because everything in Charlie’s locker fell onto the floor. Nick bent down to help Charlie pick it up. He noticed that some of them were music booklets and Charlie had a set of drumsticks in his hand.

“You play the drums?” Nick asked, feeling impressed.

“Yeah,” Charlie replied.

“That’s so cool,” Nick said.

“Thanks,” Charlie replied with a smile. Nick felt himself smile back easily.

“You ready to go?” Nick asked. “I thought we could take Nellie to the park again.”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “Let me just get all this stuff sorted first.”

“Right, yes, no rush,” Nick said. “Can I help?”

“It shouldn’t take long,” Charlie replied. This time his smile was more polite than genuine. Nick didn’t like the difference. Charlie looked better when he smiled joyfully.

Nick waited while Charlie shoved his stuff in his locker and the two of them headed to his house together so they could get Nellie.

Laughing and talking as they walked, Nick finally felt like he could relax. When they arrived at his house, Nick offered Charlie a cup of tea.

“If you want one, too, sure,” Charlie replied.

They sat at the kitchen table to drink their tea. His mom came into the kitchen before they left to start on dinner. Nick introduced the two of them and explained that the plan was to take Nellie for a walk.

“I’m sure Nellie will love that,” Sarah said with a smile. “You are welcome to stay for dinner if you like, Charlie.”

Charlie turned to look at Nick who nodded. “Sure,” Charlie said. “That would be nice. Thanks.”

Nick thanked his mother too and then the two of them headed outside with Nellie.

He knew it wasn’t anything special, taking the dog for a walk with Charlie. He knew it, and yet somehow it felt special. Spending time with Charlie was quickly becoming Nick’s favourite thing about his day.

Nellie and Charlie raced him and Nick lost spectacularly, but he was so happy he didn’t care. When they were at the park, Nick took a few photos with his phone of Charlie and Nellie when they were playing together. He even had Charlie pose with Nellie for one of them.

When they got back, Sarah had dinner on the table. She’d made a tuna casserole. Nick set the table and Sarah served before they all sat down to eat.

“When did you two meet?” Sarah asked.

“A couple months ago,” Nick replied. “Uh, Charlie’s in my form.”

“I foolishly assumed Nick wouldn’t want to be friends with the nerd kid but he wore me down,” Charlie laughed.

Nick laughed nervously and ate more of his dinner.

“I keep telling you I just play rugby,” Nick replied. “That doesn’t make me popular or anything.”

“Ah yeah it does,” Charlie laughed.

“You play the drums,” Nick reminded him. “That is way cooler. I have like no musical ability.”

“And I am too small and weak to play rugby,” Charlie replied.

Once again Nick felt like he wanted to argue against this. Rugby really did need fast players as well as big ones, but the topic changed quickly and it felt strange to bring it up later.

“Thanks again for dinner,” Charlie was saying as he stood near the door putting his coat on.

“You must have enjoyed it,” Sarah smiled. “You had two helpings.”

“Your seasoning was spot on,” Charlie explained. “My dad always makes things too bland.”

“I’ll take the compliment,” Sarah replied.

Nick kinda wanted to suggest he walk Charlie home, but they’d already been hanging out non stop since school ended on top of seeing each other during form so he decided not to push his luck.

Instead he stood in the doorway and waved Charlie goodbye, standing there to watch until Charlie was out of sight. Nick closed the door and went into the kitchen to see his mom.

“Charlie seems like a lovely boy,” Sarah said. “He’s very different from your other friends. You seem much more yourself around him.”

“Do I?” Nick asked, surprised she’d made such an observation.

“You do,” his mother confirmed with a smile.

Nick wasn’t sure how he felt about this. He hadn’t realized it before but his mother was right. With Charlie it was easy to be himself. Maybe that was why he always wanted to be around Charlie.

Then for some reason he remembered that Charlie had a girlfriend. Would she be upset if Charlie kept spending so much time with Nick? His mind was entirely consumed by this thought for the rest of the day.

Wednesday in form class when Charlie sat beside him, Nick wanted to suggest they do something again after school today, but he wasn’t sure if he should. Instead they just ended up working on homework together.

His one hour with Charlie ended too soon and Nick hadn’t said anything about hanging out again. Nick knew he could just text Charlie later but he wanted to ask in person and the next morning he finally managed it.

“Do you want to do something after school today?” he asked. Charlie agreed and they ended up playing Mario Kart at his house until Nick was done losing. Then they did some homework together, Charlie helping him on a few things like usual.

The following afternoon they took Nellie for a walk, but Charlie couldn’t stay for dinner because his parents wanted him home.

“But I’m not doing anything over the weekend,” Charlie offered when he had to turn down the dinner invite on Friday night.

“Me neither,” Nick said, happy. “Did you want to take Nellie for a walk again?”

“Or um, I was wondering if you wanted to come round my house?” Charlie asked.

“Yes!” Nick exclaimed with enthusiasm. Then his excitement stopped in its tracks as he remembered that Charlie had a girlfriend.

“You don’t have to,” Charlie said quickly backtracked at the change in Nick’s face.

“Its not that,” Nick said. “I was just wondering, I mean… won’t your girlfriend be annoyed that we are hanging out so much?”

“What?” Charlie said as if he had no idea what Nick was talking about. Then he seemed to remember. “Oh right that. Don’t worry. She’s cool with it, I guess.”

“Okay,” Nick said, yet somehow he didn’t feel any better.

He tried to remind himself that this was a good thing. If Charlie’s girlfriend wanted all Charlie’s time then Nick wouldn’t get to see Charlie as much. So why was his stomach all in knots?

Chapter Text

Nick walked up to Charlie’s front door and knocked, feeling unnecessarily excited. He didn’t have long to wait before Charlie opened the door.

“Hey,” Nick said.

“Hey,” Charlie echoed with a smile.

They just stared at each other for a moment and then Nick grinned as he said, “You gonna keep me standing here all day?”

“Oh my god, so sorry,” Charlie said, clearly flustered as he stood back to allow Nick into the house. Nick couldn’t help but enjoy Charlie’s embarrassment. He was laughing despite trying not to even while he was hanging up his coat.

“Shut up,” Charlie laughed with him. “Or I’ll beat you at Mario Kart again.”

“If I’ve learned anything recently it’s that you will always beat me at Mario Kart,” Nick said, still smiling.

“Only if you don’t practice,” Charlie corrected him.

“I don’t think any amount of practice is going to help honestly,” Nick laughed.

“Well if you don’t want to play video games and we haven’t got any homework to do,” Charlie’s voice trailed off but the implication was obvious.

Nick had been enjoying their teasing too much to realize that it meant they didn’t really have an excuse to be hanging out today. Never before in his life had he wished he actually had homework.

“Do you want to see my drum set?” Charlie asked.

“Yes,” Nick answered quickly. Nick followed Charlie up the stairs.

The first thing Nick noticed about Charlie’s bedroom was the neon sign behind his bed that read: music. His bed was only a twin and there was a bookshelf mounted to the wall beside it.

Charlie said something and Nick turned his attention to the corner opposite the bed where he could see a black drum set.

“That’s so cool,” Nick said walking over.

“It’s really not,” Charlie replied.

“Yes it is and I bet you look way cooler playing it then I would,” Nick tried another tactic to get Charlie to accept the compliment.

“You look cooler than me doing pretty much everything,” Charlie shot back, still refusing to take the compliment. Nick decided to prove him wrong and went to sit down at the drum set.

Nick didn’t have to pretend to be bad at the drums. He was spectacularly bad already so it was easy to pick up the sticks and gently bang on the drums to make the worst sound possible. He was rewarded for his efforts with the sound of Charlie’s laughter.

“You're terrible,” Charlie chuckled. “But I argue you still look cool.”

“You are clearly delusional then,” Nick replied. He was about to stand up again, getting off the drum stool, but Charlie’s next move completely vanished the thought from his mind.

“Budge up,” Charlie said. “Let me help.”

Nick moved over a few inches on the stool, feeling like maybe this wasn’t actually happening. Charlie sat down on the stool with him. It was so small that their sides were pressed together completely and if that wasn’t enough the next thing Charlie did was grab both Nick’s hands in his.

His heart was pounding so hard, Nick felt lightheaded as his entire mental focus shifted to Charlie’s touch. The house could have burned down and Nick wouldn’t have noticed because Charlie was holding his hands. Then Charlie started moving Nick’s hands to play the drums correctly, his eyes fixed on the task, but Nick was looking only at Charlie, his smile, his mouth. Charlie’s lips were held firmly together in an expression of concentration while he played. Nick was strangely aware of every muscle in his body, even while his focus remained at their point of contact. It was like his skin was glowing where their skin touched.

“There, you’re a pro now,” Charlie said when he finished showing Nick how to play.

Charlie turned to look at him and Nick’s only thought was that they were still holding hands. Then he noticed Charlie’s mouth again and the way his lips moved as he smiled. Nick let out a shaky breath, trying to hide whatever emotions these were.

It was taking all Nick’s concentration to just sit here and not visibly freak out. He had no idea what to say. Charlie let go of his hands and stood up.

“That’s probably cheating though,” Charlie said, standing feet away now with his hands held together in front of him.

Nick couldn’t say anything. He just stared. Somehow, he was both happy and panicking at the same time because he finally understood something. He wanted to hold Charlie’s hand again. He wanted to bury his face in Charlie’s shoulder. He wanted to touch Charlie’s face. He wanted… he wanted to kiss Charlie. He liked Charlie, as more than a friend and he had no idea who he was anymore.

And on top of all of that Charlie had a girlfriend!

“Um, did you want to maybe watch a movie?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah,” Nick said, trying to remember how to talk while his entire being seemed to suddenly want to focus on using his mouth for something other than talking.

Charlie’s smile was friendly which made sense because they were friends. Nick had been the one who had pushed to be Charlie’s friend, but had he ever really just wanted to be friends? Even if he was only just realizing what this feeling was, it didn’t feel like the feeling itself had changed. More like how he thought about how he felt was different. Didn’t that mean he’d felt this way about Charlie from the start?

As he walked downstairs with Charlie, Nick couldn’t help thinking back a few months ago. He hadn’t realized what he’d been feeling before. He’d just assumed he’d understood it and acted accordingly but now it seemed so obvious that he’d liked Charlie from the moment they laid eyes on each other. Oh god, he was so screwed.

“What movie do you want to watch?” Charlie asked as he sat on the couch holding the remote.

Nick sat down too, but this time he made sure to put a good foot of space between them. Charlie didn’t seem to notice the change. He just grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and put it over himself before turning on the TV.

“You choose,” Nick said, knowing full well he didn’t have the mental energy for movie selection right now. It wasn’t like he’d be able to pay attention to it anyway. The movie was just an excuse to sit here with Charlie for a while.

Charlie said something else to do with the movie he wanted to watch and Nick agreed at once. He noticed Charlie’s answering smile more than the movie title.

About half way through the movie, Charlie fell asleep on the couch. His hand was laying palm up between them and Nick couldn’t focus on anything else. The desire to hold Charlie’s hand again was almost overpowering. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever wanted something so badly before.

It was like Charlie’s hand was somehow more than just his hand. If Nick reached out and held Charlie’s hand, it felt like a chance at happiness that he wasn’t allowed to want. Ignoring the movie, Nick stared at his friend’s hand, taking in the lines on his palm and the way his fingers were resting against the blanket.

Nick’s eyes moved from the forbidden hand to roam over the rest of Charlie’s sleeping form. His head was tilted to one side against the back of the couch. His eyes were closed and his breathing slow and even. He was so still and peaceful. Beautiful. The sweater he had on looked so warm and comfortable. The blanket around him could only be described as cozy. Nick wanted to be that blanket. He wanted to be wrapped around Charlie. He wanted too much.

Leaning forward, Nick covered his face with his hands. What the hell was wrong with him?

Before he could dive any deeper into those thoughts, Charlie woke up and Nick did his best to keep his mind blank so his thoughts didn’t show on his face. Nick didn’t want to freak Charlie out.

“Did I fall asleep?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah,” Nick replied.

“Sorry I guess I picked a bad movie.”

“It’s fine,” Nick said. He knew he should be putting more thought into his answers but he didn’t have much energy left for talking. Suddenly he wanted an escape almost as much as he wanted to stay here with Charlie for as long as possible.

Nick had no clue who he was, but he was absolutely certain how he felt being around Charlie. Even while his mind was racing a thousand miles a minute, Charlie being right there helped somehow.

“Did you want to stay for dinner?” Charlie asked.

“Mom is making dinner tonight,” Nick replied. “Otherwise I would.”

“Next time then,” Charlie answered easily.

“Definietly,” Nick said.

They were still sitting on the couch, looking at each other. Nick thought again about kissing Charlie. He couldn’t help but be curious what Charlie’s lips might feel like under his fingers, against his own lips. Nick tore his eyes away before Charlie noticed his face.

When Charlie stood up, he kept the blanket wrapped around him. Nick couldn’t help wondering if maybe Charlie was cold. Maybe he could keep Charlie warm. Oh god now he was jealous of that stupid blanket again. Charlie just looked so cuddly in it.

They were at the door. Nick finally turned his eyes away from Charlie when he went to put his coat on.

“It’s too bad you can’t stay for dinner,” Charlie said.

What did that mean? But then Nick remembered that Charlie was just being friendly.

“You look very comfy in that blanket,” Nick said.

“This blanket is indeed very comfy,” Charlie agreed.

Jealous. Jealous of the blanket. Jealous of the girlfriend. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous.

The ugly emotion was like a broken record in his head. He wasn’t sure if it was the jealousy or just the sudden realization of his interest in Charlie, but it took everything Nick had to resist the urge to hug Charlie right then. It was all he could think of. Wrapping one of his arms over Charlie’s left shoulder and the other one under his right arm. Burying his face against the soft fabric of that damn blanket.

It was probably a good thing he wasn’t staying for dinner. Nick needed to get his head in check if he was going to have to act normal with Charlie again on Monday.

“See you Monday,” Nick said, trying, and probably failing, not to be awkward as he left Charlie’s house.

Walking home helped calm him down, but it didn’t get his mind off Charlie. Being near Charlie made Nick feel warm and happy but also on edge like his stomach was trying to do backflips.

Arriving home, Nick greeted his mom, before heading up to his room. Nick laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. After a few deep breaths he got out his phone and started looking at pictures he’d taken recently, scrolling until he got to the ones he was after.

Just looking at Charlie’s face was enough to make him all happy and silly inside. Nick put his phone down on the bed and covered his face with his hands again.

Is this how being gay worked? You were just straight until one day you met a boy you liked and suddenly you were gay instead. Like switching sides on a sports team or something.

Because Nick thought he’d figured this out already. Since puberty he’d noticed women. Had crushes on celebrities like Keira Knightley and Zooey Deschanel. In year seven and most of year eight he’d been crushing on Tara Jones, even if their kiss had been the end of their story he had still liked her. Nick remembered not really minding too much that she didn’t want to kiss him again. Kissing Tara hadn’t been as mind altering as he’d expected it to be.

And now all he could think about was what it would feel like to kiss Charlie. Did that mean he actually hadn’t ever liked Tara? Had he just deluded himself into thinking he liked Tara because he was supposed to like girls?

Because Nick was at least sure that he liked Charlie so much more than he’d ever liked Tara, but did that mean that he hadn’t liked a girl before or that he just liked Charlie more now?

Nick knew Charlie wasn’t thinking like this. He was probably thinking about kissing his girlfriend. Which sucked so much. Nick felt like he could maybe deal with his total lack of self understanding right now if only he didn’t have to think about Charlie kissing someone else.

Just thinking about it had Nick’s stomach all in knots again.

Sarah called him down to dinner and Nick welcomed the break from his own thoughts. They talked while they ate like usual, but Nick just wasn’t ready to voice any of the thoughts in his head. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to have those thoughts in his head, not that he got a choice in that matter.

After dinner he was upstairs in his room again, thinking all the thoughts he didn’t understand. If he couldn’t talk to his mom, then maybe he should talk to someone else? But Nick didn’t know anyone who was gay. How was he supposed to ask questions if he didn’t know who to ask them to?

How was he supposed to know who he was if he didn’t even know who he was attracted to?

Then again, he supposed he did actually know who he was attracted to. He was attracted to Charlie and Charlie was a boy.

Getting up off the bed, Nick went to get his laptop where he’d left it on the floor. His hands were trembling while he typed the simple sentence into the search engine: ‘Am I gay?’

The results were overwhelming. Everything from silly quizzes to deep historical truths about the persecution of gay people. Nick tried to ignore the hate and ended up taking an ‘Am I Gay’ quiz.

He answered the questions as honestly as he could and when the results came in they were about as confusing as Nick felt: 62% Gay. What the hell did that mean? Could someone be only a little gay? Just like partially into boys when the mood struck them? That didn’t make any sense. Nick didn’t make any sense.

He was also crying.

Nick closed his laptop and went back to lay down on his bed. Turning over his thoughts in his mind over the next few hours made Nick become sure of only three things.

He was definitely something other than who he’d thought he was. He was definitely deeply crushing on Charlie and he was definitely doomed because Charlie had a girlfriend.

Waking up this morning thinking he was just a straight guy with a new best friend he loved hanging out with felt like a whole other lifetime ago. Suddenly Nick knew he wasn’t straight. He didn’t know what exactly he was, but he couldn’t have such a huge crush on Charlie and be heterosexual at the same time, so that illusion was shattered.

Nick laughed nervously alone in his bedroom. Was he now just some queer kid with a crush on a straight guy who couldn’t like him back? The idea didn’t really fit with how he’d always seen himself. Like suddenly he had two identities, two versions of himself in his mind that didn’t fit together.

The worst part was that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t tell Charlie about any of this. No matter what else was going on, telling Charlie wasn’t worth risking losing his friendship.

Chapter Text

Something had changed with Nick, but Charlie wasn’t sure what it was. The difference was so subtle that Charlie often thought he was imaging it. Then sometimes it was like Charlie just knew his friend had something weighing on his mind. The trouble was that Nick didn’t seem to want to talk about it.

Whatever it was hadn’t affected how often Nick wanted to hang out. They spent most of their weekends together, as well as some days after school as well. Usually they played video games, did homework or took Nellie for walks. Sometimes they simply did nothing together and it was still great.

The problem was that the more Charlie got to know Nick the more he liked Nick. It had been one thing when his crush had been entirely physically based, but now Charlie liked Nick as a person too which was rough.

Still, he didn’t want to stop spending time with his friend just because Charlie had a major crush on him.

Charlie wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He thought about asking his parents but he figured if his mom knew about his crush she’d be weird about Nick coming around all the time.

Sitting in his bedroom at his drum set, Charlie was playing just to kill time. Nick was due to come by within the hour and he wasn’t sure what to do while he waited. When he took off his headphones, Charlie almost jumped out of his skin when his sister appeared out of nowhere.

“Tori!” Charlie exclaimed. “Stop doing that!”

“So Nick’s been around a lot,” Tori stated, ignoring his protests as she stood there sipping her drink like always.

“We are friends,” Charlie replied.

“Just friends?” Tori asked.

“Yes, just friends,” Charlie answered. “I mean he is the captain of the rugby team so I’m kinda amazed he wants to be friends with me at all. I think I’m lowering his social standing by miles just being near him.”

“That is one hundred percent not true,” Tori told him. “You are not allowed to be that mean to my brother.”

“I am your brother,” Charlie laughed.

“Exactly,” Tori said very seriously.

Sometimes his sister didn’t make much sense, but her heart was always in the right place.

“So you don’t like Nick, like that, at all then?” Tori asked.

“I never said that,” Charlie replied, quietly. He supposed he could have lied, but there really wasn’t any point lying to Tori. Besides, it just felt so wrong.

“So you do like him then?” Tori asked him to confirm.

“Of course I do,” Charlie sighed. “I mean he’s kinda perfect, but he’ll never like me back so it really doesn’t matter.”

“Isn’t it gonna suck for you though,” Tori asked him. “Having a friend you like that can’t like you back.”

“Yeah,” Charlie said. “But it’s worth it because Nick is like the best friend ever.”

Tori just looked at him the way she did and Charlie sensed that she wasn’t going to let this go.

“I’d rather be friends than nothing,” Charlie tried again to explain.

Tori drank more of her drink through her straw in like the loudest way possible.

“Does he know,” Tori said after a minute. “About you?”

“No, of course not!” Charlie answered. “We go to school together. He’s friends with Harry. You know I don’t let anyone find out at school.”

“Do you not trust Nick then?” Tori asked.

“I trust him,” Charlie replied. “It’s just tricky. If he knew he might not want to be friends anymore.”

“If he's that homophobic, you shouldn't be friends with him in the first place.”

“No not that!” Charlie said. “I don’t think he’d care like that. It's just if he knew I felt that way about him, it might make him uncomfortable.”

“If you trust him. You should tell him. The longer you wait the worse it will be when he finds out,” Tori stated. “Your other friends know.”

Charlie knew she had a point, but he didn’t get a chance to dwell on it because at that exact moment they were interrupted by the sound of their mother yelling from downstairs about someone at the door.

“That will be Nick,” Charlie said, standing up at once and half running past his sister to fly down the stairs and get the door.

There stood Nick. He was wearing one of his jumpers again – blue this time – and he had a smile on his face.

“Hi,” Nick said.

“Hi,” Charlie replied before taking a step out of the way so Nick could come inside.

“What do you want to do today?” Nick asked.

“Well we do have that history paper due,” Charlie reminded him.

“Aren’t you almost finished with that?” Nick inquired.

Charlie may have exaggerated his progress on his paper in favour of helping Nick with his. “I have plenty left to work on,” Charlie replied.

Together they went up to Charlie’s room and as always, Charlie closed the door. Then he laid on his stomach on the floor with his reading in front of him. Nick copied him, laying on the floor in the opposite direction so they could talk while they worked.

“Do you understand this part?” Nick asked, pushing his book towards Charlie.

Charlie glazed over at the book, aware that Nick had moved close enough for Charlie to touch him. Nick probably hadn’t noticed. Charlie backed off a bit before explaining the paragraph to Nick.

“Thanks,” Nick said, politely but his face looked suddenly downcast. This was what Charlie had been noticing. Every now and then, for no apparent reason, Nick would be sad, as if something was worrying him.

“Are you feeling okay?” Charlie asked, like he usually did.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Nick smiled at him quickly and then got back to reading.

Charlie didn’t quite believe him. Nick was probably trying not to be a bother and that didn’t sit right with Charlie. Even as just his friend, Charlie decided he couldn’t let this go. He needed to reassure Nick somehow.

“You sure?” Charlie tried. “Cause it seems to me you’ve been kinda down for the last few weeks.”

“Yeah,” Nick said, but he didn’t seem to mean it.

Charlie pushed his book aside and sat up on the floor to look at his friend. “You know you can tell me anything right?” Charlie offered. “Because I’m your friend and I care about you.”

“I just- well I guess I’ve been thinking about some stuff lately,” Nick admitted.

“Stuff you can’t tell me?” Charlie asked. He knew what the answer would be, but still somehow he was disappointed when Nick shook his head. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Could you answer a question for me?” Nick asked after a moment's thought.

“Sure,” Charlie agreed easily.

“When we first met,” Nick began. “Um, why did you dislike me so much? I asked before but you never really explained so…”

Nick clearly didn’t suspect the answer because this couldn’t have anything to do with what Nick was worried about.

Charlie had decided to suffer his secret crush in silence if it meant they could be friends, but his sister had a point. Charlie’s other friends knew. If he trusted Nick, then what was the harm in telling him.

“I just don’t understand,” Nick continued when Charlie didn’t answer right away. “It was like you took one look at me and hated me.” There was something in his voice that Charlie couldn’t understand. Was Nick in pain somehow? That didn’t make any sense.

“I never hated you,” Charlie replied quickly. He wanted to make Nick feel better but since he didn’t understand why Nick was upset, it seemed impossible.

Nick sat up on the floor too. They were sitting only a foot apart, intent on their conversation. “Then what was it?” Nick asked. There was a desperate edge to his voice now. Charlie couldn’t help wondering why Nick cared so much, but this was nothing new. Since the first time Nick had talked to him, Charlie had been confused about why Nick cared so much.

“Okay I’ll tell you,” Charlie agreed. “But you have to promise not to tell anyone. It’s a secret, especially at school. Like I have rules about not even talking about it at school with my friends in case we are overheard.”

“I won’t say anything,” Nick promised easily. His eyes were eager and staring intently at Charlie.

Charlie’s heart was fluttering at Nick’s gaze, and he couldn’t help wondering if sharing this with Nick would ruin their friendship. Then again, if he really wanted to be friends, hiding who he was wouldn’t work either.

“I’m gay,” Charlie stated. He’d never said that out loud to anyone before, except his family and three closest friends. It felt strange but also somehow exhilarating.

Charlie could see the wheels in Nick’s head turning as he stared. Charlie wished he knew what Nick was thinking. What did straight people think about when their friends came out to them? Had he misjudged the situation? Would Nick react badly?

“I um-” Nick began. He shook his head slightly. “But I thought you had a girlfriend.”

“Sometimes at school I lie when people ask me nosey questions,” Charlie explained with a shrug.

Nick still looked confused. His face hadn’t changed at all and Charlie had no idea what he was thinking. Charlie thought maybe he could explain it better. Nick wasn’t reacting in any of the ways he’d feared. The look in Nick’s eyes was making Charlie feel brave.

“I recognized you the moment we met,” Charlie elaborated. “I knew you hung out with Harry and that group and I was worried you’d figure me out if we sat together for the whole year. So I thought the safest thing to do was avoid eye contact.”

“Why would I figure you out?” Nick asked in a flat stunned voice.

Charlie really had no idea what was going on inside that beautiful head of his, but there really wasn’t any harm not to answer at this point.

“Umm I thought that was obvious,” Charlie said, blushing against his will.

“Explain it anyway,” Nick almost pleaded. If he didn’t know any better, Charlie would have described Nick’s voice as hopeful.

Charlie felt silly saying something so obvious out loud. Surely, he didn’t need to, but there was something in Nick’s eyes that made him think maybe he did need to.

“You’re just kinda hot, is all,” Charlie admitted, with a shrug, trying to make it not a big deal.

The way Nick was looking at him now had Charlie’s heart racing. And Nick's face was flushed. Charlie couldn’t quite believe it even seeing it with his own eyes.

Then Nick’s eyes moved down slightly as if looking at Charlie’s mouth. The next thing Charlie knew Nick had closed the gap between them and kissed him.

Charlie was too stunned to react. He froze like a deer in headlights. Just as he was beginning to thaw out and would have responded to the kiss, Nick pulled away.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” Nick said quickly. He stood up fast and was halfway to the door of Charlie’s bedroom before Charlie had time to blink twice.

Watching Nick trying to leave made Charlie panic a little. He got up and crossed the length of his bedroom quickly to catch up with Nick. Charlie knew he’d messed that up but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fix it. Nick’s hand was on the door handle when Charlie’s fingers wrapped around his forearm. Nick stopped moving, but he didn’t turn around. Charlie could hear him breathing hard and his skin felt hot under Charlie’s hand.

“I shouldn’t have-” Nick babbled, at the closed bedroom door. “I just- when you said- and I- you don’t and that’s fine- and I’m sorry.” His shoulders slumped, but he still didn’t turn around.

Gently, Charlie pulled on Nick’s arm until they were facing each other again.

“You surprised me,” Charlie smiled at him. “Actually, more astonished me but I um- I liked it.”

Nick let out a nervous laugh, but he at least looked a little calmer. “You froze, and I know I should have asked first, I just- when you said… what you said and you were looking at me and I- I lost control.”

“So it takes control to be near me and not kiss me then?” Charlie asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yes,” Nick said through a breathy gasp. “So much control.”

Charlie smiled up at Nick. “I know the feeling,” he said. “Why don’t we give up control together?”

“God yes,” Nick agreed, a look of overwhelming relief on his face.

Charlie expected to be kissed again, but instead, Nick surprised him with words.

“Would you kiss me?” Nick asked.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed.

Chapter Text

Charlie wasn’t really sure if he was doing this right. He’d just had his first kiss moments ago and he’d frozen like a statue, but Nick had asked and Charlie was determined to try.

He leaned slowly closer to Nick, keeping his eyes fixed on Nick’s face. Nick was breathing hard and Charlie could feel his heart racing as he leaned in.

When Nick closed his eyes, Charlie marveled at the soft expression on Nick’s face and then their lips met.

Charlie was kissing Nick Nelson. That alone should have been a miracle, but the truly miraculous thing was that rugby king Nick Nelson was kissing Charlie back. In fact, he was kissing Charlie back with great enthusiasm.

If his heart had been racing before it was nothing to how it felt now. Charlie hadn’t been prepared for the overwhelming level of emotion that came with kissing his crush, but there was also something powerful about his crush kissing him back like this.

They broke apart, panting slightly and still close enough to feel each other's breath on their skin. Charlie was gazing into Nick’s eyes and Nick was gazing right back.

“Hi,” Charlie said.

“Hi,” Nick echoed.

“You okay?” Charlie asked.

Nick nodded, leaning in for a hug. Nick’s strong arms wrapped around Charlie’s torso as he buried his face in Charlie’s shoulder. Smiling lightly, Charlie brought his hands up, locking them together behind Nick’s back, hugging him in return.

They stayed like that for a moment. Charlie felt like he was glowing inside from the whirlwind that was the events of the last ten minutes of his life.

“I can’t believe I was so jealous of a non-existent girlfriend,” Nick groaned, into Charlie’s shirt.

“I can’t believe you were jealous at all!” Charlie exclaimed. “I thought you were straight.” Nick pulled out of the hug and locked eyes with Charlie.

“So did I,” Nick said before placing his hands against the side of Charlie’s face and pulling them together for a deep stomach fluttering kiss.

Charlie laughed as the kiss ended. “That felt very not straight to me,” Charlie smiled.

“Not straight is about all I have figured out at the moment,” Nick admitted with a sigh. Charlie watched as Nick went to sit on the bed. “I didn’t think I could talk to you about this before.”

“And now you know you can.” Charlie tried to smile at him reassuringly.

“I think I kinda showed you most of it,” Nick admitted, blushing.

“So these last few weeks, what’s been bothering you was… not kissing me?” Charlie asked, feeling a bit silly.

Nick let out a light chuckle. “Sort of,” he said. “But also, like, the fact that I wanted to kiss you was really confusing. Plus the whole thought you had a girlfriend thing sucked… like, alot.”

“Sorry,” Charlie said. “If I’d had any idea you felt like that I’d have told you way sooner.”

“It’s not like I said anything either,” Nick admitted. “It was hard to get up the nerve. You always pulled away when I tried to get closer. I wasn’t sure what it meant.”

And just like that, Charlie saw all their interactions over the past few weeks in his mind again, but this time through new eyes. Even just earlier today, hadn’t Nick moved a bit too close while asking for help with his homework and Charlie had backed off? Why had Charlie never linked that with the change in Nick’s mood? It seemed kind of obvious now.

Charlie laughed, as he sat down beside Nick on the bed. “It means I’m an idiot.”

“No, you aren’t,” Nick replied easily.

“But I didn’t even try and guess why you were doing that. I was only pulling away because being so close to you without touching you felt kinda-”

“Overwhelming?” Nick offered.

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled. “Tao used to say it was like being electrocuted."

“Tao sounds like he might be on to something there,” Nick agreed with a smile.

Charlie wasn’t sure what to say so he reached out to wrap his arms around Nick again. Nick responded to the hug, pressing himself against Charlie firmly and burying his face in Charlie’s shoulder once more. Charlie felt Nick’s arms wrap around his torso in return.

They stayed like that for a while, just sitting on the bed holding each other. Charlie noticed Nick’s breathing as it slowly calmed down. Nick was so warm. Charlie could feel Nick’s body heat even through their clothes. It wasn’t as exciting as kissing, but there was something profoundly wonderful about hugging Nick Nelson.

Slowly, Nick pulled back enough to look at Charlie, without giving up total contact, which Charlie was glad of.

“How did you realize you were gay?” Nick asked softly.

“I don’t really have like a single moment to point to,” Charlie replied. “I was just kinda always aware of it, I guess. Like, it’s always been boys.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“My parents, my sister, they all know. Probably most of my extended family. I don’t really hide it at home so- oh and Tao and Isaac know, but they are sworn to secrecy at school.”

“Does that apply to me now, too?” Nick asked.

“Yeah sorry,” Charlie smiled at him.

“Don’t be sorry,” Nick replied. “I’m definitely not ready to come out as anything right now, so a secret at school sounds good to me.”

“And that’s totally fine,” Charlie assured him. “You don’t have to have the answer right away. There are lots of sexualities apart from gay and straight and it really isn’t anyone else's business anyway.”

“That’s true,” Nick agreed.

“You could be bisexual, though,” Charlie added. “Cause you told me that you’ve liked girls before so that would be my guess.”

“Bisexual, huh,” Nick tried the word out.

“But, like, don’t listen to me,” Charlie backtracked quickly. “I am here for you but I’m not trying to tell you who you are or anything.”

“I know,” Nick smiled at him. “That’s because you are like, the nicest person ever.”

“Pfft,” Charlie scoffed. “As if.”

“Are so!” Nick exclaimed. “You’re a super thoughtful person.”

“Yesterday I would have argued with you,” Charlie admitted. “But now I’m starting to wonder if you are a bit biased.” He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he stared at Nick.

“Charlie Spring, are you accusing me of seeing you through rose-tinted goggles?”

Charlie shrugged. “It is the most logical explanation for your recent behaviour."

“There is nothing logical about this,” Nick laughed before placing a hand on either side of Charlie’s face and pulling him in for another kiss.

Nick had initiated this kiss, but Charlie was already getting lost in it. Charlie could feel Nick’s touch as if it rippled across his skin. The feeling was intoxicating and definitely not logical.

“Kissing you is so much fun,” Nick said, sneaking in another kiss.

“Well, kissing you is more fun,” Charlie argued.

“Agree to disagree,” Nick grinned at him.

Charlie laughed. Were they really arguing about this? “How about kissing is fun?”

“Okay yeah we can agree on that,” Nick said smiling as he looked into Charlie’s eyes again.

If anyone had told him this morning that this would be how he would be spending his afternoon, Charlie would never have believed it in a million years and yet it was actually happening.

Charlie’s face ended up against the side of Nick’s neck. Without really thinking about it, Charlie gently kissed Nick’s skin. He wasn’t sure how else to communicate how much he adored what they were doing right now.

Nick raised his head to look at Charlie who blushed under his intense gaze.

“I’m so glad we talked,” Nick said.

“Me too. This is definitely an upgrade,” Charlie added, hugging Nick a bit tighter to indicate what he meant.

“So making out on weekends and ‘just friends’ at school,” Nick said the plan as if he wanted to confirm it.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “It’s kinda the only option unless we want to be outed and I’m really not ready for that.”

“Me neither,” Nick admitted. “It’s going to feel strange though.”

“Yeah, but the whole school does think I have a girlfriend, and no one at school suspects you aren’t straight, so even if we start acting really close people should assume we are just best friends.”

“Good mates,” Nick laughed.

“If you want, we could even have lunch together,” Charlie said.

“I definitely want that,” Nick agreed. “Any excuse to ditch my friend group.”

“Can’t fault you there. Some of them do kinda suck,” Charlie agreed.

“I know!” Nick whined. “Harry chucks things at people when they pass by and then Ben is always a dick to everyone and no one knows why. I suppose the other guys on the rugby team aren’t bad and then there is Imogen.”

“Are you two close?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied. “We’ve been friends since year seven. She noticed I was crushing on someone and wanted to know who it was but I got all weird about it. I’m not sure what she thinks of me right now since I couldn’t tell her. I wasn’t even able to admit how I felt to myself then.”

Charlie couldn’t stop grinning. He knew what Nick was saying was important but his mind couldn’t get past the crush part.

“What are you grinning about?” Nick asked, laughing.

“So you have a crush on me, huh?” Charlie beamed at him.

“I thought that was pretty obvious,” Nick replied with a bit of a nervous laugh.

“I like you, too,” Charlie assured him.

“Thank god for that!” Nick laughed and then they started kissing again.

Charlie wasn’t sure when he’d laid down on the bed but it didn’t matter because Nick was there beside him, their limbs tangled up together while they kissed.

Laying his head on Nick’s chest, Charlie snuggled in close. He thought he might be happy just laying here in Nick’s arms but somehow they ended up watching a movie on his laptop. Charlie let Nick pick the movie this time which meant it was some kind of marvel movie. He didn’t mind though. Curled up in bed with Nick was amazing, with or without the movie.

“I don’t want to go home,” Nick whined. The movie was long over and it was almost dinner time.

“We’ll see each other in form tomorrow,” Charlie reminded him. “And then we could take Nellie for a walk after school.”

“Yeah I know,” Nick sighed. “But it’s not the same without the kissing.”

“I can’t argue with you there,” Charlie agreed. “But I was thinking if we sat behind the big tree at the park, then we could probably do some kissing without anyone walking down the paths noticing us.”

“I like the way your mind works,” Nick replied, grinning.

“Oh so it’s my mind you’re after then?” Charlie asked, laughing.

“Among other things,” Nick amended, leaning closer to kiss him again.

“Hmm,” Charlie hummed, his eyes shut. “More please.”

“I thought I was supposed to go home?” Nick asked.

“You are,” Charlie said, as he half sat up on the bed so he was looking down at Nick’s face. “But that doesn’t mean I want you to go.” Lowering his face down Charlie kissed Nick where he lay on his back on the bed. Charlie felt Nick’s hands come up to hold his head, running through his hair.

“I like your hair,” Nick mumbled when the kiss ended.

“I like your arms,” Charlie answered.

“Your eyes are nice too,” Nick added.

“Is this a contest now?” Charlie laughed. “Or are you just putting off going home?”

“Most definitely the second one.” Both Nick’s hands were gently holding Charlie’s face, pulling Charlie’s lips down to meet Nicks’ again.

“You don’t fight fair,” Charlie whined. “If we don’t leave here soon my mom is gonna burst in and catch us.”

The idea of this killed the mood pretty effectively. They got up off the bed together. Standing in the middle of Charlie’s room, he turned to face Nick.

“You can join my friends and I for lunch tomorrow if you want,” Charlie said.

“Won’t they think that’s weird?” Nick asked.

“I mean we are friends,” Charlie said. “Have been for a while. They don’t have to know more if you don’t want but they will be cool with anything we tell them.”

“Okay,” Nick said. He looked nervous but not overly so. With a deep sigh he added, “I guess we do kinda have to leave this room now.”

“Kinda yeah,” Charlie said. “Mom will be coming to tell me dinner’s ready soon and I’m sure your mom wants you home too.”

Nick kissed him one more time and then they headed downstairs together. Nick put on his coat and then Charlie waved goodbye to the boy he liked. He stood at the door until Nick had walked out of sight.

“So you told him then.”

“Oh my god Tori!!” Charlie almost jumped out of his skin. How did she do that? And how did she know he’d come out to Nick? Sometimes Charlie wondered if his sister was a wizard.

“And it went well,” Tori said, taking another slurp from her straw.

“How do you know these things?” Charlie asked her.

“Your face,” she said. “It’s like an open book to me.”

“Well then close the book,” Charlie laughed.

She didn’t reply, just drank more from her water bottle and turned around to go back down the hallway.

Charlie got through his family dinner by explaining his good mood was from a new book he was reading. Tori didn’t quite believe him but he was pretty sure his parents did at least. He was actually reading a good book right now, so it was only a little lie.

He could hardly believe that form class with Nick had once been something to worry about. It felt like the highlight of his day now. He was so excited to go to school the next morning.

“Hi,” Charlie said when he sat down beside Nick in form.

“Hi,” Nick echoed back.

“So what are you working on today?” Charlie asked, smiling. They couldn’t talk openly in form, but it was amazing just seeing Nick again. Charlie stared into Nick’s eyes and smiled because Nick was looking back at him.

“Basically what we didn’t work on yesterday,” Nick said, blushing slightly.

“We got other things done yesterday,” Charlie grinned at him. “More important things.”

“Yeah,” Nick agreed, but he was blushing a little. Charlie decided they should change the topic and brought the focus back to school work, but before class ended Charlie wanted to confirm something.

“So are we still on for lunch?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied. “If you still think it’s a good idea.”

“It will be fine,” Charlie said with a smile. “They’re just my friends. Besides, Tao is always complaining that a trio isn’t a group. If you sit with us at lunch then he can’t say we aren’t a group anymore. The real issue here is your friends. Won’t they be upset that you're ditching them?”

“Who cares what they think,” Nick shrugged. “I’d rather hang out with you anyway.”

“Dork,” Charlie whispered.

“Whatever,” Nick replied, but his smile spoke volumes. There was something beautiful about the way Nick smiled.

“So I’ll see you at lunch then,” Charlie said. “We sit at those picnic tables outside usually.”

“Yeah I know where you are,” Nick replied.

“Great,” Charlie smiled. “See you then.”

Before Nick could say anything else, class ended and everyone started packing up their books.

Charlie went to his next class thinking about lunch time later. He wasn’t exactly sure what he and Nick were yet and that was okay. They were new and exciting and that was enough right now.

When it was time for lunch, Charlie gathered this stuff as fast as he could and headed to the table with more energy than a typical Monday morning. He wasn’t surprised that he was the first one there, though Tao did show up moments later.

“What’s got you so excited today?” Tao asked as he sat down.

“I kinda invited Nick to eat lunch with us,” Charlie admitted. Tao almost spit out his apple juice.

“You did what!”

“You know we’ve been hanging out a bunch,” Charlie reminded him. “And he wanted to ditch his other friends so I said he could come here.” Tao looked nervous and Charlie knew exactly what he wanted to say. “Don’t worry about that. I can’t really explain but everything is good. Promise.”

Tao raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t see how it could be, but okay.”

“Great!” Charlie said grinning. “Because he’s walking over now.” Charlie waved at a point behind Tao who turned like he was a swivel.

“Hi,” Nick said when he was standing beside the picnic table.

“Hi,” Charlie replied, scooching over to give Nick room to sit on his side. Nick sat down, looking a little nervous. Charlie decided it was time for introductions.

“Tao, this is Nick,” Charlie said. “Nick, this is my best friend Tao.”

Tao narrowed his eyes at Nick, suspiciously.

“Be nice,” Charlie told Tao.

Isaac showed up, easing the tension of the moment. He had a new book in his hand so Charlie had to assume he’d finished his last one over the weekend.

“Isaac, this is Nick,” Charlie said. “He wanted to join us for lunch. Hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah course,” Isaac replied. “As long as it’s okay with you.”

Charlie couldn’t stop smiling even as he assured Isaac he was cool with it. Tao was less easygoing about it. He still looked suspicious.

Opening his lunch box to try, Charlie started eating in the hope that everyone else would relax and eat too. Under the table, Charlie slid his leg over slightly so it was just barely touching Nick’s.

Isaac was reading with one hand while he ate with the other and Charlie decided to ask Tao about his weekend, expecting it to spark a monologue about Elle like usual.

“I have a feeling your weekend was a bit more eventful,” Tao said pointedly.

“It’s possible,” Charlie admitted.

Ignoring his lunch, Tao reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Charlie watched as he typed and then he felt his own phone vibrate in his pocket.

11:52am
Tao: What happened on the weekend between you two? Does he know about you?

Charlie sighed and then started typing.

11:53am
Sorry I probably should have texted you this morning. I came out to Nick on the weekend and it went really well. He is nothing like Harry.

“Is this how you two talk at school then?” Nick laughed. “Texting from across the table?”

“Sometimes,” Tao replied, but he did open his lunch box and start eating.

The ‘Nick eating lunch with his friends’ plan wasn’t going exactly as Charlie had expected, but he knew that was only because Tao was worried about him.

Tao had been there when Charlie had been so uncomfortable with the idea of sitting next to Nick in form everyday. Tao had been there when Charlie had been confused about Nick wanting to be his friend. Tao had warned him when Charlie had given in and decided to be friends with the straight guy he had a crush on. This must look very strange to Tao.

Even so, he didn’t bring anything up again for the rest of lunch. They talked about Elle like always and Nick listened. Nick asked questions. Nick was hanging out with Charlie’s friends and Charlie loved it.

Once lunch was over, Charlie only had to wait for school to end. He had planned to take the bus home and then walk to Nick’s house but as soon as Nick found out his plan was waiting in the cold for a bus, Nick insisted Charlie get a ride with his mom.

“Are you sure your mom won’t mind?” Charlie asked.

“Of course she won’t,” Nick replied. “She’s picking me up anyway so it isn’t any extra effort.”

“Okay then,” Charlie smiled back.

Sarah was so nice. Nick just said Charlie was coming over as they got into the car and she didn’t say anything about it. Charlie rode in the back and Nick sat in the front which was probably a good thing if they were supposed to keep their hands to themselves.

As soon as they got to Nick’s house, Nick put a leash on Nellie and they went to the park. Charlie was right. Hiding behind the tree was the perfect secret make out spot.

Chapter Text

The next morning when Charlie got ready for school, he couldn’t help but be excited about seeing Nick in form class later. They’d been texting last night as well and Nick was going to have lunch with Charlie again today. Charlie wasn’t sure if his life had ever been this great before. Sure, it had been alright, but now it was brilliant!

“You seem extra happy lately,” Tori commented while they were riding the bus. “Is this about Nick?”

“Why would it be about Nick?”

“No reason,” Tori said, but he knew she was on to him. Charlie had never been any good at hiding anything from his older sister. She was way too observant for that and for some reason she seemed to always direct her observational skills towards him.

“It might be about Nick,” Charlie admitted to her. He knew Tori would keep his secret. She didn’t say anything, but she did smile at him. Charlie knew his sister was happy that he was happy because that was all that really mattered to her.

Charlie got off the bus with Tori, expecting to just walk towards the school, but he was very quickly diverted by his best friend.

Tao grabbed his arm and dragged him off away from the other students, until they were quite alone.

“What’s going on with you and Nick?”

“Hello to you too,” Charlie laughed.

“I saw you guys at lunch yesterday,” Tao muttered quietly. “There is more going on here than just ‘I came out to him and he was nice about it.’”

Charlie turned and looked down the sidewalk both ways. There was no one around.

“Yes,” Charlie confessed, in half a whisper. “We are kinda together or something. I don’t know but we make out a lot now.”

“Oh my god!” Tao exclaimed. Then he added in a quieter voice, “I thought he was straight.”

“You shouldn’t assume people are straight,” Charlie replied, grinning.

“Are you going to tell Isaac?” Tao asked.

Charlie shrugged. “He already knows about me and if you’ve guessed then he probably has too.”

“And what about Elle?”

“Elle can be trusted,” Charlie agreed. “We just don’t want the whole school to know. Neither of us are ready to come out.”

“Are you going to tell your parents?”

“Why on earth would I do that?” Charlie laughed. “They think he’s straight too. If they knew they’d just, like, ban him from sleepovers and make me keep the bedroom door open or something stupid like that.”

“Charlie!” Tao scoffed.

“What, you know it’s true,” Charlie replied.

“Alright, fine, but if you don’t hold back on the flirting at lunch someone is going to figure you two out,” Tao explained. “The way you were looking at each other yesterday was… intense.”

Charlie laughed. “Okay fair point.”

“Before we get to school, anything you want to say while you can?”

“Nick is amazing! Like might actually be too good to be true type amazing,” Charlie gushed. “I’m still surprised he likes me back, but I really don’t think he’d want to kiss me this much if he didn’t.”

“Wow,” was Tao’s only reply.

Charlie couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He was thinking about the way Nick had held his face and pulled him in for a kiss the last time they’d been alone. Charlie adored just hanging out with Nick, but kissing Nick was so much fun.

“Thanks for asking,” Charlie beamed at his friend. He was so grateful Tao had asked. He’d been dying to gush about Nick to someone. He could probably have gone on about how great Nick was for way longer but that would have definitely made them late to class.

“I’m super happy for you, buddy,” Tao smiled at him. “I know you really liked him.”

“That’s ‘cause he’s really awesome,” Charlie said grinning. “Oh and I’ve been thinking this weekend we could do a movie night. I haven’t seen Elle for ages and I was gonna invite Nick.”

“Okay, but if you really don’t want your parents to know I’ll host at my house,” Tao said. “I have a feeling you two will not be able to keep the secret at your place.”

Charlie blushed a little. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

After that they headed back onto the school grounds together. They parted ways in a corridor to turn towards their different first classes.

Charlie walked into form and saw Nick sitting there. He smiled without meaning to and then caught himself. Tao was right. They were way too obvious, even with Charlie’s girlfriend rumor, people would guess if they weren’t careful.

“Hi,” Charlie said as he sat down.

“Hi,” Nick echoed back. Charlie allowed himself one moment to just stare at the boy he liked beaming back at him, then he turned to look at his school work.

“Something wrong?” Nick asked, concerned. This guy was just so damn wonderful, Charlie hardly knew what to do with him.

“I’m trying to resist staring,” Charlie whispered.

“Why?” Nick asked, with a laugh.

Charlie turned back to look at Nick’s genuinely confused expression. Nick’s complete lack of a poker face was going to get them both caught if he wasn’t careful, but somehow Charlie didn’t mind. It was just so sweet.

“Do you want to come to my friend’s movie night this weekend?” Charlie asked.

“Yes,” Nick agreed at once.

“You sure?”

“Absolutetly,” Nick repeated. He sounded very sure so Charlie just beamed at him until the teacher called them to attention.

Charlie couldn’t touch Nick right now, but they could talk and laugh together and as long as Charlie kept his sappy thoughts in check, he knew they wouldn’t show on his face.

While he was pretending to do his homework, Charlie wrote a note on a scrap of paper.

Tao pulled me aside the moment I stepped off the bus today. He knew something was up yesterday and I kinda told him what’s going on, but I promise he can keep the secret. I think Isaac might have guessed as well, but he’s even better at keeping secrets so don’t worry about it okay?

Charlie added a smiley face and then casually pushed the note across the table to Nick’s side. Charlie turned to watch as Nick read it, checking to see if Nick was upset about the news. He didn’t look upset, but maybe a little nervous as he wrote a message under the first one.

Just your two friends then?

Charlie picked up the pen and added another line under Nick’s writing.

And probably Tao’s girlfriend Elle, but don’t worry. They have all kept my secret for almost two years. It will be fine.

Nick looked up from reading Charlie’s message and smiled at him.

“Okay,” Nick said, with a tentative smile. Charlie grinned back for a moment and then folded up the paper and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

He was glad Nick wasn’t upset about this. When Charlie had suggested they eat lunch together at his friends picnic table he hadn’t anticipated that his friends would figure out they were more than friends so easily.

Later that day during the lunch hour, they were all sitting at the picnic table when Isaac gave Charlie a look and then very deliberately looked at Nick.

“Yes,” Charlie said. “Probably yes to whatever you are thinking.”

“Oh, well, I guess that worked out rather well for you then,” Isaac said. Charlie couldn’t keep a smile off his face.

“It did, yeah,” Charlie said.

“Were we really that obvious yesterday?” Nick asked.

“Just to us who already… know stuff,” Tao said, turning his eyes to Charlie as a subtle nod to things unspoken.

“Anyway new topic,” Charlie said, knowing they were dangerously close to breaking his rules. “Movie night this weekend? I invited Nick to join us.”

“Oh dear,” Isaac said. “Does Nick know what he’s in for?”

“Probably not,” Nick admitted.

“I’m hosting this time so that means mom will probably go a bit overboard on the snacks,” Tao explained.

“It’s been a while since we all hung out together,” Isaac said. “Should be fun. And it will be good to see Elle.”

“We miss Elle,” Charlie agreed.

“Elle really misses all you guys too!” Tao exclaimed.

“You two hanging out tonight?” Charlie asked Tao. He knew Tao and Elle spent most of their time outside school together when possible.

“Yeah, just at her place,” Tao replied. “She doesn’t like it when I over plan dates. She says she likes to just do nothing together so we end up hanging out in her bedroom alot.”

Charlie had to work hard to hold back his grin. He couldn’t help thinking about him and Nick. They were doing the exact same thing but for totally different reasons.

“What movie did you pick for this weekend?” Isaac asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Tao announced.

“Of course it is,” Charlie rolled his eyes. Tao’s movie choices had always been suspect, but this time he’d get to sit next to Nick so Charlie didn’t care what they watched.

Feeling hungry, Charlie opened his lunch box. He had the same old apple and sandwich again. He heard the crinkle of a chip bag and turned to see that Nick had a bag of potato chips.

Everyone at this table knew what was going on now and no one was directly watching so Charlie decided a little teasing would be safe enough. Grinning, he reached over and stole one of Nick’s potato chips right out of the bag. Nick turned his head following the action with his eyes. When they were looking right at each other, Charlie popped the chip into his mouth and slowly ate it, chewing with his lips closed as he stared at Nick the entire time.

“Tease,” Nick whispered under his breath.

Charlie didn’t say anything, but he did flash Nick a sassy smile.

“Those are good,” Charlie said. “Can I have some more?”

“Take the whole bag,” Nick said, handing it over and turning to look away. “I can’t eat them now.”

“Sweet!” Charlie exclaimed, accepting the snack.

Nick whispered in his ear, “You’re going to pay for that later.”

“Can’t wait,” Charlie laughed, grinning from ear to ear.

Charlie did indeed ‘pay’ for his teasing later that night when they were alone in Nick’s bedroom. No sooner has the door closed than Nick’s hands were on him and they were making out against the door. Charlie was most definitely going to tease Nick at school again and soon. It felt like his whole body might melt into a puddle the way Nick was touching him now and he loved it. His breathing was chaotic and his heart was racing. Charlie thoroughly enjoyed every single second of Nick’s frustration.

“You don’t fight fair,” Nick whined when the kissing eventually slowed down.

“I never said I did,” Charlie grinned back. “Besides, you don’t fight fair either.”

“I have never teased you like that!” Nick objected.

Charlie reached out to run his fingers slowly over Nick’s biceps. “I beg to differ.”

“Just having arms doesn’t count,” Nick argued. “Name an example.”

“Having your arms definitely counts!”

They looked at each other and for a moment were perfectly still then they both burst out laughing at exactly the same time. Half hugging and half holding onto each other for support, they finally made it to the bed where they laid down and cuddled up close together, Charlie’s head resting against Nick’s chest. He could feel it rise and fall as Nick breathed in and out. Charlie listened to Nick’s heart beat as it gradually slowed.

“I like eating lunch with your friends but do you think we could sometimes eat lunch just us?” Nick asked.

“Yeah sure,” Charlie agreed. “I don’t think there is anywhere at school we could eat privately enough to completely relax, but maybe if we find an out of the way spot we could hold hands under the table or something.”

“Sounds great.”

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Time always went by too quickly when he was with Nick. Too soon Nick had to say goodbye and head home.

Charlie had dinner with his family, got some homework done and then went to bed early so his morning form class would start faster.

The week passed by with stolen moments and hidden glances. Charlie’s favourite time of day very quickly became the time between school ending and when he and Nick had to say goodbye. It didn’t really matter if they were in his bedroom or Nick’s or even at the park. Charlie just adored the time he could be with Nick without worrying about who could see them.

They did in fact manage to find an empty picnic table and eat just the two of them. Charlie still adored the days Nick sat with him and his friends though. Being alone with Nick was amazing, but there was something wonderful about Nick being part of his world. It made the whole thing feel like more than just kissing in secret.

When Saturday finally came, Charlie tried not to act too excited. His mom was already giving him weird looks so he worked to calm his inner glee while he went about his day. Charlie wasn’t sure how long it would be until his mother’s assumption that Nick was straight wouldn’t be enough to keep her from worrying about the closed bedroom door.

“Okay I’m off to Tao’s,” Charlie told her when three o’clock on Saturday finally arrived.

“Be home by nine,” his mother, Jane, called back.

She’d already said this at least twice. Charlie felt like a nine o’clock curfew was altogether ridiculous for an eleventh year, but he knew arguing with her was pointless. His mother never listened to him.

Tao’s place wasn’t quite as close to walk to as Nick’s, but that was fine because Charlie planned to walk to Nick’s first. He’d left early to allow enough time for his detour. Nick’s last text said he’d already started walking so Charlie wasn’t surprised when he turned a corner and saw Nick waving at him.

“Hi,” Nick said once they were close enough to talk.

“Hi,” Charlie echoed back.

They turned together to walk back the way Charlie had come. Charlie wanted to reach out and hold Nick’s hand, but he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

“I know he’s keeping us in suspense and everything but do you at least know what genre of movie Tao is planning to have us watch tonight?” Nick asked after they’d been walking a while.

“No,” Charlie replied. Then he laughed. “But I’m sure it will be horrible.”

“Why do you guys do these movie nights anyway?” Nick asked. “It very much feels like a ‘Tao forces everyone to watch things they don’t like’ kinda thing.”

“Oh it is, but despite the movie choice it’s always a fun night,” Charlie answered. “Its a good excuse for us all to hang out together and Tao really does get so animated about his indie movies that we all don’t seem to know how to say no to him.”

“That’s kinda sweet,” Nick said. “But if the movies are that bad I don’t know how many of these I’m going to come to.”

“Fair enough,” Charlie laughed.

When they reached Tao’s house, Charlie rang the door and it opened seconds later to reveal Tao’s mom.

“Tao set everything up in the living room,” she said with a smile as she let them in. “And there are snacks on the table and more in the kitchen.”

“Thanks,” Charlie smiled. Tao’s mom has always been great. She was also probably Elle’s biggest fan.

Feeling much more secure in private surroundings, Charlie reached out and took hold of Nick’s hand. Nick turned to smile at him and then they walked hand in hand into the living room.

“Elle, this is Nick,” Charlie said. “Nick, this is Elle.”

Elle smiled and waved and then introductions were over. Isaac said hello but didn’t look up from his book. Elle was eyeing their joined hands with a huge smile on her face and Tao instantly started talking about the movie he’d chosen for tonight. Charlie couldn’t give Tao’s speech his entire attention but he noticed Nick was listening quite intently.

“Is this a horror movie?” Nick asked and Charlie realized how badly he hadn’t been listening.

“Not just any horror movie!” Tao said dramatically. “This masterpiece is possibly the most well directed horror movie of all time!”

Charlie noticed the tension in Nick’s face and the way he clasped Charlie’s hand a little tighter. Charlie reached up with his free hand to gently touch Nick’s face. Nick’s eyes turned to look at him.

“You can hold my hand the entire time,” Charlie offered. “I promise I won’t judge.”

Nick smiled at him warmly, but he still looked nervous. Gently via their joined hands, Charlie encouraged Nick to sit on the couch with him. Charlie laid his arm on the couch behind Nick to encourage him to snuggle in close.

When the movie started Nick seemed tense. During the first jump scare he startled and grabbed Charlie’s hand. By the time the movie was half over, Nick had his face buried in Charlie’s shoulder, hiding from the movie all together.

“Are you okay?” Charlie whispered. “We could go sit in the kitchen.” Nick just shook his head against Charlie’s chest, his eyes shut tight. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick protectively as they finished the movie.

When the movie ended no one else really needed to talk because Tao started gushing about the cinematography. Charlie let Tao’s words wash over him as he turned his attention to Nick. Charlie rubbed Nick’s upper arm as if trying to warm him, unsure what else to do.

“Sorry,” Charlie whispered. He felt Nick’s arms hug him back tightly. Charlie just stayed like that for a moment, hoping to be at least some comfort to Nick when he needed it.

“That’s great, Tao, but look at Nick,” Elle said when Tao paused his monologue. Tao stopped and turned to look at the newest addition to movie night.

“Okay, no more horror movies while Nick is here,” Tao promised.

“Thank you,” Charlie mouthed in his best friend’s direction.

For a while they all sat there and talked. Charlie slowly felt Nick relax in his arms as the atmosphere in the room changed. Nick sat up and turned around, but he still sat very close to Charlie as he joined in the conversation. The snacks they hadn’t been eating during the movie were quickly polished off and by the time they left, Nick was smiling and laughing again.

Chapter Text

About a week into December, Charlie realized he and Nick had been making out for almost a month already. He wasn’t sure if this meant they were dating or actual boyfriends and he was starting to want to know. Did it even count as dating if all they were doing was eating lunch together and hanging out at each other’s houses on weekends? Should Charlie have asked Nick out on a real date by now? Or did Nick want to do that?

As he got ready for school, these thoughts went around in his head. Today the plan was to meet at the park in the evening. Charlie had to be home for dinner because his mother was on his case about hanging out with his friends all the time. Charlie was just glad she still counted Nick as just a friend. A part of him wanted to tell his parents, but he also knew he wasn’t actually lying to them. They’d made an assumption about Nick and Charlie simply hadn’t corrected them.

When he walked into form class and saw Nick he thought about it again. Were they, like, officially dating at this point? How many times could they make out without talking about it? Charlie thought maybe he should bring it up, but he was still trying to decide how to do it.

“Hi,” Charlie said, beaming at Nick.

“Hi,” Nick said, grinning back.

It felt so obvious, but no one seemed to notice that they were way too happy to see each other for just friends. Charlie felt like his girlfriend rumors and Nick’s rugby king status had sometimes to do with it.

“I promised I’d have lunch with the guys today,” Nick said.

“Okay,” Charlie smiled. “Are your friends upset that you’ve been ignoring them?”

“They may have mentioned something,” Nick confirmed.

Charlie laughed and then the teacher called them to attention. When they were set to work, Charlie helped Nick with his math and Nick held Charlie’s hand under the table. They’d been risking this a lot in form class lately and Charlie loved it.

At lunch, Charlie missed Nick but he tried not to think about it as he sat down with his sandwich and apple across from Tao.

“Oh wow, no Nick today?” Tao asked.

“His other friends have been nagging him,” Charlie explained.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Tao replied. “He has been hanging out with… us a lot lately.”

Charlie knew Tao meant ‘you’ instead of us. He smiled. Tao had to work quite hard to keep to Charlie’s rules at school and Charlie appreciated it. Tao was a great friend.

“When did you and Elle decide you were like an actual couple, not just two people who were into each other?” Charlie asked. The look on Tao’s face told him that Tao knew exactly why Charlie was asking, but he still answered the question.

“We kissed a bunch and then I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend,” Tao explained. “It really isn't that complicated.”

“It feels complicated.”

“Well your situation has a level of, how shall a put this, nuance that I feel most couples don't have to deal with."

“I’ve read simpler romance novels honestly,” Isaac laughed.

Charlie managed not to wallow and instead got busy finishing off his lunch before the bell rang.

He rather failed to focus on his classes for the rest of the day. Instead Charlie just thought about how to ask Nick if they were actually boyfriends. It felt like they were. He supposed he could just slip the word into conversation and see if Nick objected to it, but that didn’t feel right somehow. With Nick, Charlie felt like he could just be himself, say what was on his mind without worrying so much about how Nick would react. Because it was Nick, Charlie wanted to be direct about this.

By the time school ended, Charlie was resolved to ask Nick when they met up at the park later. He took the bus home with his sister and generally killed time until his mom called him down for dinner. Charlie did his best not to scarf down his food as fast as possible for his mother’s benefit before telling his family that he was going for a walk.

“Since when do you go for walks?” Jane asked.

“It’s something I’m trying,” Charlie answered.

“Okay then,” Jane said, but she sounded confused. “Just don’t stay out past dark.”

“Can do,” Charlie replied, getting up from the table and working hard not to look too excited while he put on his shoes and coat.

Once he was outside, Charlie stopped trying to hide his excitement. With a huge grin on his face he headed to the park. He thought he’d beat Nick there until he heard his name and turned.

Nick was half running towards him, Nellie’s leash in his hand. Charlie was gonna go in for a hug, but Nick did one better. He picked Charlie up with his free arm and spun him around. Charlie had both his arms wrapped around Nick’s shoulder and his face buried in the crook on Nick’s neck as he went around and around.

When his feet were set down on the ground again, Charlie didn’t pull out of the hug. He adored Nick’s hugs.

“It feels like I haven’t seen you all day!” Nick complained.

“Not since form this morning,” Charlie agreed. “How was lunch with your friends?”

Nick pulled out of the hug a little to look at Charlie. “Okay. Imogen was acting weird though.”

“You mentioned her before,” Charlie remembered. “Do you think she suspects anything?”

“No,” Nick said. “I don’t think it’s that. I’m not sure.”

Just then Nellie barked at Charlie to get his attention and Charlie bent down to pet her head. Then she wanted to run for a bit and Charlie ran with her. By the time they made their way back to Nick, he was sitting on the grass with his back against the large fallen tree that they usually used to hide behind when they made out at the park. Nick had his phone out and had been clearly taking pictures of Charlie and Nellie.

Charlie sat down in front of Nick so they were facing each other. He reached out and held Nick’s hand. Charlie looked into Nick’s eyes for a moment, feeling like now was a good time.

“Nick.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you, um, wanna be my boyfriend?” Charlie asked.

Nick chuckled lightly, smiling at him. “I kinda thought I already was.”

“Oh,” Charlie said, blushing a little as he grinned at his boyfriend.

“I believe boyfriend levels were established sometime after the tenth time we made out,” Nick replied with a smile.

“Well how was I supposed to know that,” Charlie said with a light chuckle. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“Me neither.”

“So how did you know we were?”

Nick shrugged. “Just kinda how it feels,” he said. “You’ve felt like my boyfriend for a while now.”

“Yeah?” Charlie couldn’t have stopped smiling if his life depended on it.

“Oh yeah,” Nick confirmed. They were gazing at each other and then Nick’s hands reached forward to hold Charlie’s face and Charlie was pulled entirely forward until he was laying on top of his boyfriend. It felt good to have the entire length of his body so close to Nick while kissing. Nick’s body was so warm, even through their clothes Charlie could feel Nick’s body heat.

They settled down, Charlie laying his head on Nick’s chest. The grass wasn’t as comfy as one of their beds, but it was much better than not seeing Nick all day.

“How can you still feel so cold after all that kissing?” Nick asked.

“I’m always cold,” Charlie replied easily. Nick didn’t seem keen on this answer. He sat up, dislodging Charlie and then started taking off his jumper.

“Here,” Nick said, handing it over.

“Won’t you be cold?”

“I’m never cold.”

Even if he’d been overheating Charlie wouldn’t have turned down this opportunity to wear his boyfriend’s clothes and he was, in fact, cold. Charlie pulled the jumper over his head and Nick even helped him get the hood off his head. Nick’s hand didn’t fall, but stayed there, intertwined into Charlie’s hair.

“Better?” Nick asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

“I’m stealing this by the way,” Charlie said. His boyfriend just smiled. The way Nick was looking at Charlie made him feel like the only person in the whole world. Charlie could have just looked in his boyfriend’s eyes until the sun went down, but Nick had other ideas. Nick’s one hand was still tangled in Charlie’s hair and his free hand reached out to hold Charlie’s waist and pulled them together for a kiss. Charlie’s arms lifted up automatically to hold Nick. Charlie made a soft contented noise he hadn’t planned on making, and chased Nick’s kiss even as he pulled back.

“You are entirely too kissable,” Charlie accused his boyfriend.

“Well it’s a good thing I’m your boyfriend then,” Nick smiled.

“Since we are boyfriends, are we, like, supposed to go on dates and stuff? I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I don’t know how this works.”

“What makes you think I do?” Nick laughed. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before either.”

“You kissed a girl at a party once.”

“Yeah, when I was thirteen,” Nick dismissed the reference. Then he said more affectionately, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember everything you say but especially that. I thought it was confirmation that you were straight.”

Nick laughed affectionately and gave Charlie a quick kiss before returning to their conversation.

“Do you want to go on a date?” Nick asked.

“Maybe, if you want to,” Charlie replied.

“Yeah I think I’d like that. Did you have something in mind?”

“The movies maybe?”

“Isn’t that very close to what we do already?” Nick laughed. “Hang out in our rooms and watch movies.”

“Yes, but at the movie theater it would count as going on a date,” Charlie explained. “And we won’t be able to make out.”

“Not that I’m saying no to a date, but I am failing to see how that sounds better than a movie in one of our bedrooms.”

“It’s what couples do,” Charlie offered tentatively.

“Hmm,” Nick said, placing his hand against the side of Charlie’s face again as they looked into each other’s eyes. Charlie liked to imagine that Nick was as happy about the word couple for them as he was, which was easy to do with the way Nick was looking at him now.

“A movie date it is then, as long as it’s not horror. If it’s a horror movie I’ll spend the entire date embarrassing myself like I did at your friend’s movie night.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about that,” Charlie comforted his boyfriend. He hadn’t liked seeing Nick so upset but he had rather adored the way Nick had clung to him while he’d been scared.

“I’ll work on it.” Nick reached forward to hold Charlie’s hand.

“Good,” Charlie replied, intertwinding their fingers.

Despite their joined hands it still felt like Nick was too far away, so Charlie leaned in closer. Nick’s free arm wrapped around him. Charlie breathed in the smell of Nick, feeling content. There was something about Nick’s physical presence that never failed to put Charlie at ease.

“Otis and Christian were talking about going to a movie at lunch today,” Nick said into the comfortable silence and Charlie realized something.

“We hang out, just us,” Charlie began. “And we hang out with my friends. But do you want us to hang out with your friends too? Cause we could do that, if you want. I didn’t mean to pull you away from them or anything.”

“You didn’t pull me away, don’t worry, but as far as us hanging out with them I’m not sure. Maybe. It’s just trickier with my friends ‘cause they have, like, no clue why I’m always hanging out with you.” Nick laughed humorlessly. “Harry even suggested once that it was because you were doing my homework for me.” Nick made a frustrated noise and added, “As if that was the only reason he could possibly understand why we’d be friends.”

“Well I guess that explains it then,” Charlie said laughing. “I was wondering why you were acting so into me. You just needed help with your homework.”

“Charlie!” Nick objected. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Why not?” Charlie grinned. “It’s funny.”

“‘Cause I hate it,” Nick groaned.

“Okay I’ll stop,” Charlie said. “But just ‘cause you don’t like it.”

“Thanks,” Nick said with a calming exhale.

Charlie reached out to hug Nick and for a while they just held each other. Nellie came to lay beside them and for this single moment in time, it felt like everything was perfect. Charlie wished the light would stay but slowly it faded and he knew he had to head home before his mother freaked out. Reluctantly, Charlie pulled away and told Nick he had to go home.

“Yeah I kinda figured,” Nick replied. It was clear he didn’t want to part either and Charlie liked that it wasn’t just him. “See you at school tomorrow?”

“Can’t wait,” Charlie grinned back. He kissed Nick just one more time before getting up and walking back home.

His mum commented on his ‘walk’ being long when Charlie got home, but she didn’t yell so he decided it was fine. At least he remembered to take off Nick’s sweater before his mother saw it. Charlie knew this was in some way crossing the line from just not saying something to actively hiding but he had decided not to think about it. Charlie hid his boyfriend’s sweater in his room. It still smelled like Nick.

He went to bed early and spent an hour texting Nick while in bed before falling asleep.

The next morning Nick came to sit beside him in form and Charlie could hardly believe how happy he was to see his boyfriend. They had lunch on their own that day, finding a spot away from other people outside while the weather wasn’t so bad.

Charlie wanted to see Nick all the time. He wasn’t sure if this was normal with a first relationship and he wasn’t entirely certain Nick felt the same way, but it seemed like he did. Nick was always happy to see Charlie and disappointed on the days when they only saw each other in form class.

A part of Charlie wanted to scream from the rooftops that he had a boyfriend, but another bigger part liked avoiding the attention. Charlie couldn’t help wondering, though, if maybe he’d get to see more of Nick if people knew they were a couple. The problem was that they’d never know unless they tried it and once they tried it, they couldn’t take it back. Best to wait.

The weekend finally arrived and they decided to spend Saturday at Nick’s. Charlie showed up at Nick’s house in the early afternoon and after a quick hello to Sarah, they disappeared into Nick’s bedroom.

“I’ve missed you,” Nick whispered and he pulled Charlie in for a hug.

“You saw me in class yesterday,” Charlie reminded him.

“That was over twenty four hours ago,” Nick objected. “Far too long.” He pulled out of the hug and kissed Charlie, his arms wrapping around Charlie’s whole body. When the kiss ended Nick buried his face in Charlie’s shoulder. “And we can’t do that at school.”

“True,” Charlie agreed. When Nick pulled out of the hug, he kept hold of Charlie’s hand, dragging Charlie towards the bed. Giggling too, Charlie obliged and soon they were tangled up together on the duvet, kissing with their limbs intertwined.

Kissing with full body contact, even through clothes, was far more exciting than just kissing on its own. Their kissing enthusiasm lasted quite a while, before they snuggled up together on the bed to talk.

“Is it weird?” Nick asked. “That I miss you after only a day?”

“I have no idea,” Charlie replied, lifting his head slightly from his boyfriend’s chest to look at Nick while he spoke. “But I get it. I missed you too.”

“You did?” Nick inquired, half sitting up. Charlie had no idea how he could sound surprised.

“Yes!” Charlie chuckled. “I, like, always want to hang out with you.”

“I like being with you too,” Nick echoed, with a smile.

Charlie was beaming back at him, in a rare moment of letting all his emotions show on his face. They’d already kissed so much, but with Nick looking at him like that, Charlie couldn’t resist another one. He leaned in and Nick met him half way. The kiss was lazy, slow and effortlessly shifted into cuddling.

“So I’ve been doing some research, about being bisexual,” Nick said when they were once again comfortably snuggled up on the bed together. “And I think that might be me.”

“You know you don’t have to rush to figure anything out, right?” Charlie assured him.

“I know, but I want to understand,” Nick explained. “And I’ve been thinking about the past and stuff a lot. Trying to figure out if I ever liked a boy before I met you.”

“And did you think of anything?”

Nick pointed to a trophy on one of his walls and Charlie turned to look at it. If he hadn’t been so comfortable laying with his head on Nick’s chest he would have gotten up to look at it.

“I got that one during summer camp,” Nick began. “When I was twelve.”

“I didn’t even know rugby had summer camps,” Charlie said.

“I think I might have had a crush on my instructor,” Nick confessed. “I was so obsessed with him. I tried really, really hard and got that trophy for best team player.”

“That is so adorable,” Charlie gushed. Now he just had to see this trophy. Getting up out of the bed, Charlie went across the room and picked up the one Nick had pointed to. He read the words at the bottom. They indeed said: ‘Best Team Player’.

“I had no idea at the time what I was feeling,” Nick continued. “But looking back on it now, I think it makes the most sense.”

Charlie put the trophy back and quickly climbed back onto the bed with Nick, who lifted his arm to allow Charlie to lay his head on Nick’s chest again.

“And how do you feel about that?” Charlie asked once he was comfortable again.

“I think I feel okay about it,” Nick answered. “It feels better somehow, knowing that I’ve always been this way, I just never realized it before, never let myself think that way before.”

“And now?”

Nick grinned and then turned on the bed so that Charlie was beneath him. “Now I think about this,” Nick whispered before pressing his lips against Charlie’s eagerly.

Charlie felt his entire body respond to Nick’s touch, even before the gentle weight of Nick’s body pressed against him. Charlie was pretty sure he was making some type of noise he hadn’t planned on making as he reached his arms up to wrap them around his possibly perfect boyfriend.

When the kiss ended, Nick gently pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” Nick whispered, with such genuine gratitude Charlie could hardly think what he’d done to deserve it.

“For what?”

“I’m really glad we can talk about this,” Nick said.

“Of course,” Charlie whispered back, reaching up to gently hold Nick’s face. “Nick, you can talk to me about anything. I’m your boyfriend.”

Nick smiled at the word boyfriend. “Yeah,” Nick murmured.

They cuddled on the bed for a while just enjoying the nearness of the other, and Charlie let his mind wander. It was such a peaceful moment and yet Charlie’s mind managed to go off in some strange directions. It eventually landed back on their conversation in the park a few days ago.

Voicing his thoughts, Charlie asked Nick if they should actually plan a date and they end up deciding to go to the movies together tomorrow.

After that they played Mario Kart until Nick was done losing. Nick even tried kissing Charlie to distract him from the game. It worked and Nick officially won his first game of Mario Kart against Charlie, but Charlie insisted it didn’t count since Nick cheated. They agreed to disagree by the time Sarah called them down for dinner.

Charlie rather loved Sarah’s cooking. He had seconds partly just to put off going home and partly because it was so good. Nick walked Charlie home and finally had to say goodbye at Charlie’s front door.

Chapter Text

Going on a proper date with just Charlie was better than he’d expected. Technically speaking, it was just a movie, but there was something about going there together and getting popcorn that felt romantic. They shared one drink and held hands throughout the movie. It was dark and there wasn’t anyone there they knew.

“I’d be up for doing that again,” Nick admitted when they were walking out of the movie. They weren’t holding hands anymore, but they were walking so close together their shoulders sometimes touched.

“Same,” Charlie agreed.

“Are you sure your dad’s okay with driving me home?” Nick asked. “I could call my mum.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Charlie replied. “Your mum dropped us off and dad doesn’t mind. I texted him you were here already. Our houses aren’t that far apart, especially by car.”

“Okay.”

They were looking at each other and Nick knew his emotions were written on his face but he couldn’t help it. Nick didn’t know how to hide his heart when he was around Charlie.

Their eye contact broke when Charlie checked his phone. “Dad’s here.” Together, they walked through the parking lot to Charlie’s dad’s car and got in, answering the usual questions about how the movie was once they were inside.

When they were parked in front of Nick’s house, Nick felt strange just getting out of the car and leaving. He wished he could have kissed Charlie good night but he knew that wasn’t possible in this situation. He settled for a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ instead.

Later alone in his bedroom, Nick texted Charlie admitting to his boyfriend that he’d really wanted to kiss Charlie goodnight after their first official date. Charlie’s reply was a heart emoji followed by a confession that he’d been thinking the same thing.

Nick sent a heart emoji in return and then laid back on his bed holding his phone to his heart.

Was having a boyfriend supposed to be this easy? Nick didn’t know anything about being in a relationship. What little he could remember about his parent’s marriage hadn’t looked easy at all. But with him and Char everything just felt so effortless.

Then again, it wasn’t completely effortless. Nick knew he usually failed to stop himself from staring at Charlie at school. Every day at school, resisting the urge to kiss Charlie took more effort, especially on the days he didn’t see Charlie at all outside of their one shared class. Charlie was way better at it than Nick. He wasn’t sure when he’d gotten less nervous about showing Charlie affection in public. The anxiety of it had just slowly eased and now Nick had to remind himself they could be walked in on at any minute.

And of course there were the guys in his friend group. Every time Harry made the joke about Charlie wanting to hang out with Nick just for popularity points, it set Nick on edge. Harry always followed this up with the homework thing. Even Ben had started to join in, talking about how there clearly wasn’t anything attractive enough about Charlie to explain Nick’s behavior. Nick wouldn’t be surprised if they started making homophobic jokes soon.

Otis, Christian and Sai were the only ones leaving him alone about the time he spent with Charlie that was visible at school, but who knows if they’d still be cool with it if they knew everything they got up to outside of school.

So no, it wasn’t effortless, but still it felt like all the problems were other people. When Nick and Charlie were alone together it was always so right. Just being near Charlie made Nick happy. Nick liked Charlie so much he could hardly contain the feeling.

When had Charlie become his favourite person? Nick wasn’t sure. He just knew that it was true. Charlie was his boyfriend and it was starting to get annoying when the people in his life thought they were just ‘good mates.’ The only people who knew about the most important aspect of Nick’s life right now were Charlie’s three friends. It felt strange.

It wasn’t so bad most of the time, but there were some people who mattered more. When his mum called Charlie his ‘friend’, it always made Nick uncomfortable. Sarah had picked up on the fact that Charlie was Nick’s best friend, but that was it. Nick was both terrified to tell her and desperate for her to really know who he was and what Charlie meant to him. The two feelings were very confusing. They completely contradicted each other. He couldn’t have one without risking the other.

Eventually he fell asleep, but his dreams were strangely stressful even if he couldn’t remember what they’d been about. Once he got out of bed, Nick focused on getting ready for school. Charlie would be in form and then he could suggest lunch together or something, but first his year twelve friends always gathered at the usual picnic table before class.

“Still getting that year eleven to do your homework for you?” Harry laughed, throwing his arm around Nick’s shoulders and making him unbelievably uncomfortable.

Nick shoved Harry off. “Still a prick then?” he shot back.

Harry didn’t seem to have a good come back for this and moved away to bother someone else. Nick hoped it would end there but he had no such luck.

“You are spending an awful lot of time with Charlie lately,” Ben observed.

Nick turned to look at Ben and for a moment he saw something in Ben’s eyes he hadn’t expected. Ben Hope almost always had a girlfriend, but at this exact moment it seemed to Nick like he was checking Nick out. There was just something about the way Ben’s eyes were moving over Nick’s body that gave Nick that impression. Was it even possible? Were he and Charlie not the only guys in the closet at this school?

Ben leaned closer and spoke so quietly that there was no chance anyone else could hear.

“You know Charlie has a girlfriend right?”

“What?” Nick asked, so taken aback he hardly knew what to say. Was Ben implying what it seemed like he was implying?

Ben sneered. “Well clearly you are gay for him so I thought you could use the reminder.”

Nick had never wanted to punch someone so much in all his life. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he decided that he hated Ben. He looked at Ben, or rather glared, and suddenly it dawned on him that he hadn’t imaged what he’d seen before. Ben was the same as him. Ben was hiding, too. Took one to know one.

“I could say the same about you,” Nick whispered. Then he got up and left the table before Ben could come up with something else horrible to say.

As he walked away, Nick thought about the comments Ben had made last week. He’d been trying to act like Charlie was so unattractive, but now Nick was thinking Ben actually felt the exact opposite. The idea made Nick’s skin crawl.

When Nick saw Charlie sitting in their usual seat in form class, he felt suddenly lighter. He beamed at his boyfriend, unable to hold back how happy he was to see Charlie.

“I’ve had the worst morning,” Nick said, reaching for Charlie’s hand under the table. Charlie held his hand and Nick felt better. What he really wanted was to rest his head on Charlie’s shoulder but he knew Charlie would never be okay with that at school.

“The morning has barely started,” Charlie replied. “What happened before school?”

“My friends suck, I guess,” Nick answered. He couldn’t exactly go into details in class. He was just glad Charlie was here. “Can we have lunch together today?”

“Yeah course,” Charlie agreed easily.

Once again Nick thought about resting his head against Charlie, but he settled for moving his chair a little closer so their legs were touching. Holding Charlie’s hand under the table wasn’t enough today.

Form ended too soon and then Nick had to go to his classes that didn’t have Charlie. When lunch finally came Nick went to sit with Charlie and his friends, feeling more comfortable here than he’d ever been with his friends.

They couldn’t talk freely at school, but at least all Charlie’s friends were nice and Nick could relax. Before lunch ended he made sure to ask Charlie if they could hang out after school.

“My place this time?” Charlie suggested and Nick agreed at once.

Nick got through the rest of the day with the idea of alone time with Charlie to hold onto. Rugby practice was the only other time he looked forward to lately.

After getting changed, Nick went out onto the rugby field and enjoyed his hour of physical activity. It really helped take his mind off Harry and Ben.

“You okay, mate?” Sai asked when practice ended.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seemed a bit off today,” Sai explained.

“I’m fine,” Nick said, trying to smile but he wasn’t sure if his friend believed him. Because Nick wasn’t fine. Charlie was the best thing that ever happened to him, but today it felt like the world was against them being together.

He’d finished getting dressed and was leaving the changing rooms when he ran into Imogen.

“Oh! Hey,” Nick said, surprised to see her. She hadn’t been at the picnic tables this morning. He looked around and saw that most of the team was still standing around as if listening.

“Hey,” Imogen replied. She was looking at him like she had something to say and Nick had a bad feeling.

“Do you remember what we talked about last year at the end of term?” she asked.

“Um,” Nick blanked. He remembered talking to her at the end of the school yeah but he couldn’t quite remember about what. Clearly Imogen remembered.

“I, um, know it’s been a while but I was wondering if you’d thought anymore about what I said?” Imogen asked tentatively.

And then Nick remembered. How had he forgotten that Imogen had told him she liked him!? This explained why she’d been acting so odd lately. He’d barely seen her over the summer and Charlie had been thoroughly distracting Nick since the first day of school in September.

“I haven’t,” Nick admitted, feeling like a complete jerk.

“Okay well, I was thinking in that case maybe we should just go on a date and see what happens?” Nick’s whole body tensed up at her words. “Neither of us are dating anyone at the moment and we’ve been friends forever so-”

“I, um, I-,” Nick had no idea what to say. He was already dating someone, but he couldn’t exactly tell her that, let alone all the people watching them.

“Come on!” someone in the crowd called. “Just go out with her.”

“Yeah, what’s the harm?” another voice called out.

“Only a fool refuses when a woman asks him out!” It was Harry’s voice and Nick just wanted to disappear.

All Nick could think about was Charlie. Saying yes would betray his boyfriend and saying no would embarrass Imogen and make all the gay rumors about him that much worse.

Nick completely froze. He couldn’t think. All he could feel was the pressure of the eyes on him.

“Sure,” Nick said, if only to escape the moment.

“Great!” Imogen smiled at him and Nick felt like the worst person in the world. He wasn’t sure he could tell Charlie before he heard about it somewhere else. The speed at which gossip spread at this school was unprecedented.

A part of him wanted Charlie never to find out, but he knew that was impossible with so many witnesses.

The crowd disbursed after he agreed and Nick didn’t stick around. He made some excuse about needing to get to class early and left.

During his next class, Nick felt numb. He hardly noticed what the teacher was talking about. When school ended he got into his mom’s car, still worrying about what his boyfriend would think when he found out.

“How was school today?” Sarah asked him.

Nick had no idea how to reply. It most definitely hadn’t been fine, but if he said anything his mother would want to know what’s wrong and Nick had no idea how to explain it to her without telling her about Charlie.

“My friends just kinda sucked today,” Nick admitted when he finally figured out what to say.

“Not all your friends, surely,” Sarah replied. “Charlie is lovely.”

“Yeah he is,” Nick agreed. “I was going to go round his place tonight if that’s okay.”

“Of course Nicky,” Sarah replied. “Will you be home in time for dinner?”

“Umm no,” Nick tried. He wasn’t sure if his mother was giving him the option or not.

“Should I just drop you there then?”

“Yes please.”

Nick loved his mother. She drove past their house and stopped in front of Charlie’s place.

“Next time I can just pick you both up,” Sarah offered. “I know Charlie takes the bus.”

“Okay,” Nick smiled at her. “Thanks so much mom.” He leaned over to the driver’s side to give her a hug before getting out of the car.

He walked up to the house and knocked. It didn’t occur to him that he’d actually beaten Charlie home until no one answered. Charlie’s parents were probably working and Tori and Charlie were still on the bus.

Nick decided to wait, sitting down on the steps in front of his boyfriend’s house thinking over and over about how he was going to explain what had happened to Charlie. Would Charlie have already heard something during those last few hours of school? How fast did gossip at their school actually travel anyway?

When he saw Tori and Charlie walking up to the house, Nick stood up, smiling.

“Hi,” he said when Charlie was close enough to hear him.

“Hi!” Charlie echoed back looking pleasantly surprised. “Sorry, was I supposed to meet you at school?”

Nick shook his head. “Mom dropped me off. I just forgot how long your bus takes.”

Tori was giving him a look and at once Nick knew that Charlie’s sister had heard about what happened with Imogen today.

“I just needed to talk to you before… before you heard it somewhere else,” Nick said.

“So it’s true then?” Tori asked with a glare.

“What is?” Charlie looked confused.

“Imogen asked me out today,” Nick admitted.

“Oh, do you think that’s why she’s been acting so weird lately, then?” Charlie asked, his expression hadn’t changed much and Nick had no idea what to make of it.

“Probably, yeah,” Nick replied.

“But she didn’t just ask you out. You agreed to go out with her,” Tori reminded him, pointedly.

“You did?” Charlie asked. Now he looked concerned, but not overly so.

“Everyone was watching!” Nick defended himself. “I had no idea what to say.”

Tori was still looking at him as if plotting his murder, but thankfully Charlie’s expression was kinder. The worry Nick had seen there before seemed to fade into an easy smile. Nick had not expected this at all. He’d thought Charlie would be upset or angry. Calm hadn’t even occurred to him.

“Let’s go inside,” Charlie said, walking forward past Nick to open his front door. Tori continued to glare at Nick and Nick tried not to recoil. That woman was scary.

Nick followed Charlie upstairs to his bedroom and still couldn’t relax even when Charlie closed the door. It was hard to believe that Charlie was just fine with this. Nick certainly didn’t feel fine about it!

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked, looking worried again. “Sorry if my sister freaked you out.”

Was Charlie really asking if he was okay? Nick could hardly believe it. Charlie was so kind.

“I was just kinda expecting you to be upset, maybe angry,” Nick admitted. “At least more of a reaction after finding out I’d agreed to go out with someone else.”

“O-kay, yes fair point,” Charlie began, but he was smiling. Charlie moved closer, until he was leaning against Nick’s chest and looking up into Nick’s eyes. “But you don’t actually like her.”

“No.”

“And you won’t actually go out with her.”

“Of course not.”

“And you are still my boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t see what there is to be upset about,” Charlie beamed back at him. “And it’s not like she knows you aren’t single. We are hiding from pretty much everyone. Something like this was bound to happen.”

“Why are you so great?” Nick asked, smiling at his boyfriend for a moment before wrapping both his arms around Charlie in a bear hug.

“It’s just not a big deal,” Charlie shrugged. “Like I had to answer a dumb question about my imaginary girlfriend a couple days ago.”

Nick groaned. “I hate her.”

Charlie laughed even more. “You do know she doesn’t exist, right?”

“Still hate her,” Nick argued.

“You’re crazy," Charlie laughed. “I have literally only ever kissed one person in my entire life and that person is you.”

Nick reached out to hold Charlie’s hand, feeling touched by his boyfriend’s words.

“You know, it’s getting easier to answer the girlfriend questions since we got together,” Charlie continued. “I just mention like a tenth of what we get up to on the weekends and everyone thinks I’m super cool.”

“Oh my god,” Nick exclaimed. “So I’m your imaginary girlfriend then?”

“Pretty much,” Charlie shrugged. “Do you think I should call her Nicole or something?”

Nick didn’t know how to react to this. It felt oddly like he was competing with himself and he wasn’t sure if it was hot or infuriating or both.

“Nicole is the female form of Nicholas,” Charlie continued. “Up until now I’ve just avoided naming her, but it might be fun to name her after you.”

“Can we stop talking about her please?”

“Are you jealous?” Charlie laughed. Nick knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. Charlie was right, but he could still remember how he’d felt when he’d first realized he liked Charlie and had to deal with the fact that Charlie had a girlfriend all at the same time. Nick had even been jealous of that damn blanket once and an imaginary girlfriend wasn’t much better. And now he was trying not to think about how Ben might be thinking about his boyfriend.

“Okay, fine, I’m jealous, but before you remind me, yes, I know it’s stupid,” Nick admitted.

“It’s actually kinda hot,” Charlie said, turning very pink as he spoke.

Closing the space between them in seconds, Nick was kissing Charlie. He wrapped his arms around Charlie and half lifted him off the ground.

Charlie laughed, even as he anxiously asked Nick not to drop him. Nick just chuckled. As if he’d ever drop Charlie.

Nick placed his boyfriend on the bed and covered Charlie with his own body before leaning down to kiss him. Nick couldn’t get enough of Charlie. Sometimes it felt like he was half in love with his boyfriend. Nick knew he was too young and it was too early but he hardly cared. Nick knew he belonged with Charlie.

Charlie whispered his name and Nick pressed his lips to Charlie’s neck. He heard Charlie’s soft gasp and pulled away to ask if this was okay.

“Yeah,” Charlie replied breathlessly. Nick loved that look in Charlie’s eyes and quickly returned his attention to his boyfriend’s neck. He had no clue what he was doing but he greatly enjoyed doing it and Charlie seemed to as well. And that was all that mattered.

Chapter Text

Charlie really enjoyed the neck kissing. He’d never felt something like that before. The sensation had made his skin tingle and done strange wonderful things to the butterflies in his stomach.

When the kissing slowed down, they settled on the bed snuggling. Charlie reached out and gently stroked his boyfriend’s hair.

Nick had shown up at Charlie’s house before him, just to make sure Charlie wasn’t upset. Okay so, yes, he wasn’t super happy about the Imogen thing, but he knew it wouldn’t change anything. Charlie belonged with Nick, no matter what the world did to try and pull them apart, that would still be true.

“You’re so cozy,” Nick mumbled into Charlie’s shirt. “I wish we could just stay like this forever.”

“Me too,” Charlie whispered back. “But it’s a school night.”

“I don’t wanna go home,” Nick whined, tightening his arms around Charlie where they lay on the bed.

“I don’t want you to leave either,” Charlie assured him. “But there is no way mom would agree to let you sleep over.”

Nick lifted his head off Charlie’s chest, resting his weight on his elbows so he could look into Charlie’s eyes. “Have you thought about maybe telling your parents what’s actually going on? Your sister clearly knows.”

“Tori is way too perceptive. She can read me like a book, but she’d never tell anyone. As far as my parents go, yeah I’ve thought about it. At first it didn’t feel like lying but-”

“Now it does.”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, and I really don’t know how long we have until mom figures us out anyway.”

“I don’t think my mom would figure it out unless I told her,” Nick replied.

“What do you want to do?” Charlie asked his boyfriend. He felt like this should be Nick’s call. Charlie’s family knew who he was, they just didn’t know who he was dating, but for Nick it was a bit more complicated.

“I-” Nick sat up as if giving himself time to compose his thoughts. “I want her to know, but I guess I’m scared how she’ll react.”

“I get that,” Charlie replied. “I remember when I came out to my family it was a bit nerve wrecking, but they were fine with it.”

“I hope my mom is too,” Nick sighed.

“And you know no matter what happens with her I’ll still be here for you,” Charlie promised, trying to lessen the worry on his boyfriend’s face.

Nick didn’t reply, with words. Instead he pulled Charlie in for a tight hug, burying his face in Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick in return. Charlie let Nick decide how long the hug lasted. Nick held on longer than usual.

When they broke apart Nick was looking into Charlie’s eyes, but then his attention moved to Charlie’s throat. For a moment Charlie thought maybe Nick was going to kiss him there again, but then Nick’s eyes went wide.

“There’s a mark on your neck,” Nick said in barely more than a whisper.

Charlie got up off the bed and opened his wardrobe door to look in the mirror there. In the reflection he saw Nick get off the bed and stand behind him. There was also a small bruise just beginning to appear near the base of Charlie’s neck.

“Did I do that?” Nick asked.

Charlie turned around to look at his boyfriend, smiling. “Yes, I believe you did.”

“Aren’t you worried people are going to notice?”

Charlie shrugged. “I’ll just say Nicole did it.”

“No!” Nick groaned. Charlie grinned even wider at the look on his boyfriend’s face.

“You really only have yourself to blame here.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you like me,” Charlie beamed at him.

“I really don’t,” Nick argued.

“Why’d you give me a hickey then?” Charlie said with a flirty wink.

Nick looked a beautiful combination of frustrated and flustered and Charlie was thoroughly enjoying it. He pulled Nick in and kissed him softly, gripping the front of his boyfriend’s shirt to pull him down for the kiss.

“This does kinda mean I’m gonna have to tell my parents,” Charlie confessed. “I don’t own any turtleneck shirts and I don’t think I could get away with a scarf indoors.”

“I’m sorry,” Nick said. “I didn’t know what we were doing could leave a mark like that.”

“I didn’t either,” Charlie replied. “But don’t be sorry. I really enjoyed it.”

Nick smiled at him and Charlie knew he’d eased whatever guilty Nick felt about the love bite. Charlie didn’t like the idea of Nick regretting it.

Closing his eyes, Nick moved closer and rested his forehead against Charlie’s.

“Maybe this will be a good thing,” Nick began. “I’ve been thinking about Christmas. If we don’t tell our families, I’m not sure how I’ll get to see you over the holidays.”

Charlie hadn’t thought about this. Their parents wouldn’t expect friends to come over during a family holiday and meeting up in the park wouldn’t always be an option either. Between weather and family obligations, the school holiday may very well mean two weeks without seeing Nick and that felt like a problem. Since their first kiss, they’d barely spent more than a day apart. Two weeks of school holidays might as well be an eternity.

“That’s a good point,” Charlie said. “But just because I am going to tell my parents doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not something you can take back.”

“I know. I- well, I think I want to. It’s scary but I’m definitely bisexual and I feel like I’m lying to her every time I call you my friend.”

“Okay then,” he said with as much confidence as he could muster. “Let’s tell our families, but still no one at school.”

“Yeah that sounds good,” Nick agreed.

“If we don’t open my bedroom door soon mom is 100 percent going to burst in on us to tell me dinner’s ready,” Charlie stated.

“I can actually stay for dinner,” Nick replied. “Mom seemed fine with that when I mentioned it.”

“Yes but now I have a love bite on my neck,” Charlie laughed. “Did you want to be here when I tell my parents about us?”

“Good point,” Nick sighed. “They probably aren’t going to be very pleased with me, huh?”

“It’s entirely possible,” Charlie laughed.

“Text me after okay? I want to know how it went.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them moved an inch towards the door. Charlie knew it was silly, but he adored how obvious it was that Nick never wanted to be away from him. It made him feel less clingy for wanting to always be around Nick.

They left Charlie’s room together, walking directly to the front door. Charlie waved goodbye to his boyfriend as he walked away.

“I take it this means you’re fine with what happened then?”

Charlie jumped at the sound of his sister’s voice. Sometimes he thought she had some kind of superpower for jump scares.

“Tori!” Charlie exclaimed, turning around to face her. “Yes everything's fine.”

“I can see that,” she said. Between the way she looked at his neck and the tone of her voice, Charlie was sure she’d noticed the hickey.

“Maybe it’s a bit better than just fine,” Charlie admitted.

“How are you going to explain that to mum and dad?”

“The truth?” Charlie suggested feeling suddenly uncertain about his decision.

“You aren’t worried about how they’ll react?”

“Oh, I am,” Charlie agreed at once. “I just don’t see another way around it.”

Tori looked at him thoughtfully, before taking a sip from her water bottle. “You may have a point there. I don’t think anyone could mistake that mark for something else.”

“I could say I fell in the shower?” Charlie tried but his sister gave him the most incredulous look. “Yeah yeah I know, they’d never buy it.”

Charlie took a deep breath and then turned to walk into the kitchen. It was time to tell his parents he had a boyfriend.

His resolve was stalled the moment he entered the room. Jane placed a stack of plates in his arms and told him to set the table without looking at him. Charlie decided to do as he was bid and put off the conversation a bit longer since Jane wasn’t looking at him.

Charlie was just starting to wonder if he could get by with a scarf or high collared shirt for a couple days, when he heard his mother gasp.

“What’s that on your neck?” Jane asked.

Okay so, of course, it wasn’t that easy.

“Umm there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Charlie began. His mother didn’t say anything, but her mouth was still hanging open slightly and Charlie felt sure she was just one inch away from yelling. Still, he couldn’t exactly stop now.

“I have a boyfriend,” Charlie said.

“That mark was not there this morning!!” Jane said. “At school- I mean don’t the teachers know to-”

“It wasn’t at school,” Charlie replied. Slowly he watched the wheels in his mother’s head turn. Had she noticed Nick’s shoes by the door when she’d gotten home from work?

“It’s Nick,” Charlie said. “Nick’s my boyfriend.”

Silence fell over the whole room. He knew Tori was within earshot but his father seemed to be elsewhere at the moment. Charlie focused on his mother’s face. She was definitely mad, but she was also confused and something else he wasn’t quite sure of.

“I wouldn’t have assumed Nick was gay,” Jane finally said and Charlie realized the emotion he’d missed was surprise.

“He’s bisexual actually,” Charlie replied.

“How long exactly have you two been… going out?” Jane asked, calmly. Too calmly. Charlie knew when his mother was being overly calm, it was because she was about to explode.

“About a month,” Charlie admitted. There really wasn’t any point in lying about anything anymore.

“Those overly long walks you’ve been taking?” Jane added, her question more implied than stated.

“Nick walks his dog at the park,” Charlie answered.

It was like he could watch her piece it all together in her mind from just the expression on her face. “So you’ve been spending all your time with just Nick then. Ignoring your other friends.” Then her calm suddenly broke and she exclaimed, “You’re too young to be having sex!”

“We’re not!” Charlie shot back, but he was met with a very disbelieving look.

“It’s hard to believe you with a blossoming hickey on your neck!”

Charlie was about to yell back that there was a big difference between sex and making out when his father walked into the room.

“What?” Julio said clearly, having only heard the most recent part of the conversation. Julio’s eyes turned to look at Charlie’s neck.

Charlie felt suddenly very aware of his hickey. He couldn’t regret the moment with Nick that it represented, but he was definitely not enjoying his parents interpretation of it. He watched as Jane explained to her husband that Charlie had been secretly bringing his boyfriend over everyday and going over to Nick’s every other day.

“Right well… Nick is… banned from sleepovers,” Julio said. “Bedroom door open at all times.”

“And you wonder why I didn’t want to tell you,” Charlie grumbled. He was suddenly not in the mood to sit with these people and eat dinner.

Instead Charlie turned around and stormed off to his bedroom. He closed the door and then got out his phone to text his boyfriend.

Charlie 4:57pm
So I told them. It did not go well, but that’s entirely because my mom is controlling. I decided to ditch them for dinner and am hiding in my room. How is your evening going? Was your mom surprised you were home for dinner?

Nick 5:01pm
I’m so sorry! If I hadn’t gotten carried away today none of this would have happened.

Charlie 5:02pm
Since I was teasing you in the hopes you’d get carried away you can hardly take the blame. And you didn’t answer either of my questions.

Nick 5:04pm
Mom was a bit surprised, but I explained you had other plans for dinner and that’s why I came home early. We are just having leftovers in front of the tv tonight.

Charlie 5:05pm
Okay I’m officially jealous. I’m hungry and alone in my room and I wish more than anything that I was sitting beside you eating your mom’s cooking and watching a movie with my head in your lap.

Nick 5:07pm
You are not allowed to paint me such a lovely picture when you in fact can’t come here and put your head in my lap right now.

Charlie 5:08pm
Oh I am seriously considering sneaking out and coming over there!

Nick 5:14pm
Um… I know it’s the plan but I haven’t technically told my mom yet and if you put your head in my lap I would 100% give us away.

Charlie 5:15pm
Sorry! I know that. I was joking or I guess wishing. I would just rather be with you right now.

Nick 5:16pm
I know the feeling.

Charlie replied with a heart emoji and then let Nick focus on his time with his mom.

Later that night after everyone else was in bed, Charlie snuck downstairs to have a very late, very ridiculous dinner before going to sleep.

Chapter Text

Charlie POV
Chapter title: Char

Charlie got some rather mixed reactions when he showed up to school the next day with a very obvious hickey on his neck. Classmates he’d never spoken to before gave him a high five. Whispered voices went silent as he walked past. The attention was all a bit much and this was just because everyone thought he had a kinky girlfriend. He couldn’t even imagine how much worse it would be if they knew who had actually given him the hickey.

“What’s your secret?” one of his classmates in English asked as the bell rang. “How did you get a girl so into you that she sucked on your neck? Come on, share your secrets with us single guys!”

Charlie thought about it. How had he gotten Nick so interested that he’d gotten carried away.

“Make her jealous,” Charlie suggested, tentatively.

“You mean like cheating on her?”

“No,” Charlie scoffed. “Just, like, mention someone else you find attractive. A celebrity crush or something. It helps that Nicole seems to be the jealous type.”

“You’ve never told us her name before!”

Charlie just shrugged. Usually he avoided giving a girl’s name when he talked about pretend girlfriends by saying they’d already broken up. Then he’d just be single for a while until a conversation came up that got easier if he had a girlfriend again.

But since actually kissing Nick, Charlie hadn’t mentioned a break up once. Everyone at school probably thought he’d actually met the right ‘girl’ this time. It was strange but some part of him liked talking about his girlfriend now. It felt like bragging about Nick, but without the ‘having to come out first’ part. Safe bragging.

At lunch, Charlie sat down across from his friends. Isaac had probably seen the mark but didn’t care to comment. Tao, on the other hand, turned at once to glare at Nick who was sitting on Charlie’s right.

“I blame Nick entirely,” Tao stated.

“That’s fair,” Nick agreed.

“It wasn't just his fault. I was also involved,” Charlie argued.

“Still blaming Nick,” Tao would not be deterred.

“I just don’t want details,” Isaac added with a chuckle.

“At least one person is blaming me,” Nick sighed.

“Do you want people to blame you?” Charlie asked, surprised.

“It’s just a bit confusing, okay,” Nick whined, covering his face with his hands. Charlie couldn’t resist patting Nick on the back a bit. He was so adorable.

“I really don’t see why everyone is making such a big deal out of it,” Isaac said without looking up from his book.

“People do seem to care more than I expected, though mostly what they want is advice on how to get a kinky girlfriend,” Charlie explained with a shrug. It was clear that Nick absolutely hated this answer. Charlie wasn’t sure if he should do something more to comfort Nick or just keep patting his back.

“If you're that bummed out about it, you should have just gone on the date with Imogen,” Harry’s smart ass voice made Charlie turn to look as Harry and a few of his background cronies walked past their picnic table.

“Nick doesn’t want to talk to you, Harry!” Charlie snapped at them. “Piss off.”

“Oi what’s his problem?” Harry laughed, gesturing to his cronies to indicate he was talking about Charlie.

Charlie hated the sound of Harry laughing. It reminded him of a deranged hyena. “At the moment, you,” Charlie shot back.

“If you just made Nick do his own homework for a change, then he could sit with us again,” Harry laughed.

Nick raised his head, but he didn’t look upset anymore. Charlie had never seen that look on his boyfriend’s face before. Nick was mad.

“I really don’t like you,” Nick snapped at Harry.

Harry seemed at a loss for what to say next. He just kinda gave them a strange confused look and then turned and walked away.

“You know, our lives were a lot less stressful before Nick started joining us at lunch times,” Tao commented.

“True,” Isaac added, but he sounded far less concerned about this fact than Tao did. He didn’t even look up from his book.

“Sorry,” Nick mumbled.

“I never said it was your fault,” Tao added quickly. “Though I will say your choice of friends before you met Charlie is questionable.”

“Don’t remind me,” Nick groaned. He leaned over and rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder. The motion felt so automatic, like Nick hadn’t even thought about it. Charlie adored that he was a source of comfort for Nick but at the same time, it made him nervous. They were at school right now, in full view of who knows how many people.

“Sorry,” Nick whispered as he pulled away.

Charlie felt like he was the one who should be saying sorry.

“I’ve been so good about holding back,” Tao stated. “But if you guys want, I could put together some choice insults for the next time Harry bothers us. Something about his lack of brain cells and an unfulfilled need for physical affection due to a lonely childhood.”

“I could just sit with them,” Nick offered.

“Is that what you want?” Charlie asked.

Nick laughed humorlessly. “It’s most definitely not what I want.”

“Good,” Charlie smiled at him. “Because mom’s reaction to my hickey is gonna make my house tricky for a while. If we didn’t see each other at lunch-” Charlie wanted to say that he’d miss Nick a ton but it felt wrong to say that here at school. They were already talking about it way more today than usual and it was putting Charlie slightly on edge.

Nick turned to meet his eyes and Charlie smiled at him. He hoped Nick understood without him having to say anything.

“Yeah okay,” Nick said, gazing back at him. Charlie looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and felt sure somehow that Nick had understood him.

Tao very loudly cleared his throat in that way he did when he was reminding them that they were doing the intense stare thing in public again. Nick blushed in the most attractive way. It made Charlie want to kiss him so badly, but instead he turned to look at his best friend.

“How’s Elle?” Charlie asked.

“Busy,” Tao sighed. “I miss her.”

“Can’t you keep her company while she’s busy?” Charlie asked.

“She has new friends at the art school she’s at for sixth form,” Tao explained. “I know it’s good for her to make new friends. I just suck at dealing with it. I know I’m not losing her but it still feels like I am. I think I might be like a really needy type boyfriend.”

“That’s very self aware of you to know that,” Nick told Tao, sounding impressed.

“Thanks?” Tao replied with a slightly confused laugh.

“Hey, don’t underestimate self awareness,” Nick replied. “Trust me. If anyone knows how big a deal it is to be unaware of who you actually are, it’s me.”

“Fair point,” Tao replied, accepting the compliment.

The bell rang and everyone started packing up their stuff. Charlie headed to class, thinking the whole time about the look on Nick’s face today when Harry had been harassing him. Charlie hated to think that Nick had been putting up with stuff like that because of him.

He had to actually focus when he sat down in class in order to take notes, but once school was over, Charlie went to stand at the front of the school to wait for Nick. He was leaning against the brick wall looking down at his cell phone when he heard Nick’s voice.

“Hi.”

Charlie looked up and smiled. “Hi,” he said back. Nick was clearly glad to see him but there was something else going on. “Are you okay?”

Nick moved closer and rested his forehead gently against Charlie’s. Once again, Charlie felt himself become instantly anxious. They were literally standing on the path into the school and it looked like Nick was about to kiss him. Charlie pulled away, feeling the tension in his muscles relax as he put distance between them.

“Sorry,” Nick groaned. “I keep doing that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Charlie smiled. “Shall we go?”

“Yeah,” Nick sighed.

They walked in silence for a while. Once they were well outside the school grounds, Charlie relaxed. When they turned onto his street Charlie reached out to take hold of his boyfriend’s hand. Nick intertwined their fingers and turned to look at Charlie.

“Thanks,” Nick said, smiling, but he still looked like he needed a hug.

Charlie stopped walking and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “Are you okay?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know,” Nick said. “I just wish people didn’t suck, I guess.”

“What happened after lunch?”

“Ben and Harry happened,” Nick groaned. “I didn’t tell you this before but I think Ben is like us. And today he started making gay jokes and then Harry joined in. Imogen tried to stand up for me but then everyone was just reminded that I didn’t go out with her so I must be gay.”

“I’m so sorry,” Charlie said.

“It’s not your fault,” Nick reminded him.

“But it is because of my presence in your life,” Charlie countered.

Nick tightened his grip on Charlie’s hand. “And my presence in your life has made you more visible too,” Nick reminded him. “People seem to have enough of an issue with a jock being friends with a nerd. God knows what they would do if they found out we were more than just friends.”

Charlie laughed. “That would definitely be worse,” he agreed.

“You were flying under everyone’s radar so well before I forced my way into your life,” Nick said.

“Forced!” Charlie objected to the word. “I think not.”

“Oh please, you, like, completely ignored me in form for months,” Nick reminded him.

“Because I liked you and foolishly assumed you were straight,” Charlie reminded him. “I am beyond glad that you broke down those silly walls I put between us.”

“You are?” Nick asked. Charlie hated how surprised he sounded.

“Of course I am, Nick,” Charlie said. “My life is infinitely better with you in it. I don’t care what people say or how much attention we get. That will always be true.” Nick gazed back at him, clearly moved by Charlie’s words. “Besides, it’s not like your life wouldn’t also be easier without me in it. Your friends are picking on you and I know you hate lying to your mom.”

But Nick was already shaking his head. “I don’t care about any of that,” he said. “It’s all worth it to be with you.”

“I know the feeling,” Charlie said softly. He reached out and placed a hand on either side of his boyfriend’s face before pulling him close for a kiss. It was risky. They weren’t behind closed doors, but they were in an empty street near Charlie’s house and Charlie just couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Hmmm,” Charlie murmured. “I’ve been dying to do that since lunch.”

“And here I thought that was just me,” Nick chuckled before capturing Charlie’s lips in another hungry kiss. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick and sunk into it.

“Char,” Nick whispered into their kiss.

Charlie moved back enough to look at his boyfriend’s face. “Char?”

“Oh wow, that just slipped out,” Nick said, turning his eyes away, clearly embarrassed.

“Say it again.”

“No,” Nick replied, still looking down at his feet, his cheeks turning pink.

“I like it.” Charlie touched Nick’s face and gently encouraged him to look up.

Charlie really liked the nickname. The name felt like a confirmation of Nick’s affection. It made Charlie want to kiss him again.

Once their eyes met, Charlie wasted no time. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Nick’s, opening his mouth a bit more than before. Nick’s hand was at Charlie’s back, pressing them closer and Charlie could feel his insides melt a little. All he wanted was to disappear into his bedroom with Nick so they could kiss lazily for hours on his bed. But that wasn't possible today.

Together they walked the rest of the way to Charlie’s house, hand in hand, but once they reached the door they stopped.

“Do you think your mom will let me come inside?” Nick asked.

Charlie let out a slow breath. “Maybe, but I don’t want to push our luck. I just told her yesterday. Getting grounded would mean I can’t even come to your house anymore.”

“This sucks,” Nick grumbled.

“It really does,” Charlie agreed. He leaned in and kissed Nick one more time before pulling away.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow then,” Nick said, mournfully.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, feeling about as forlorn as Nick looked.

Charlie hated seeing Nick look like that. In an effort to cheer Nick up, Charlie kissed him again. It helped a little.

“Text me when you get home.”

Nick nodded and went in for one more kiss before turning and walking away with a wave and a smile.

Walking in the front door, Charlie went up to his room, feeling sulky that Nick wasn’t here. He played the drums until he got Nick’s text saying he was home.

Charlie texted back.

Wednesday 3:48pm
Charlie: Wish you were here instead

Wednesday 3:49pm
Nick: Yeah same

Wednesday 3:51pm
Charlie: What are you gonna do tonight?

Wednesday 3:52pm
Nick: You mean beside texting you?

Wednesday 3:54pm
Charlie: lol yes besides that. That was a given.

Wednesday 3:56pm
Nick: Probably have dinner and hang out with my mom.

Wednesday 3:58pm
Charlie: Do you not have homework?

Wednesday 4:01pm
Nick: Oh I do. But I don’t wanna do it.

Wednesday 4:02pm
Charlie: You know you should. Might as well take advantage of the opportunity. We never actually study together anymore.

Wednesday 4:05pm
Nick: Wow I didn’t notice but you are so right. We used to get homework done.

Wednesday 4:08pm
Charlie: And then you kissed me and now we never seem to get around to homework.

Wednesday 4:10pm
Nick: Kinda ironic I think, given what Harry’s saying about us.

Wednesday 4:12pm
Charlie: Who cares what Harry says. I just don’t want you to start failing all your classes.

Wednesday 4:14pm
Nick: Okay fine I’ll do my homework, but tomorrow after school you are coming here so we can make out on my bed.

Wednesday 4:16pm
Charlie: Yes please!

Wednesday 4:21pm
Nick: Have you talked to your mom about the school holidays yet?

Wednesday 4:35pm
Charlie: No. I wanted to let her chill for a bit, but I will. Going two weeks without seeing you is not an option I am interested in.

Wednesday 4:58pm
Nick: Sorry got caught up actually studying. But I completely agree.

Wednesday 5:45pm
Charlie: That’s okay. I had to go down for dinner anyway. Did you get some homework done?

Wednesday 5:49pm
Nick: Yep. And mom heated up leftovers. What did you have?

Wednesday 5:53pm
Charlie: Dad did chicken on the bbq.

Wednesday 5:55pm
Nick: Yummy.

Charlie sent back an emoji. Then he put his phone down beside him and picked up his controller to get back to his video games.

Everything with Nick felt so wonderful and easy, at least between the two of them. The rest of the world was a problem, but Charlie adored how comfortable he was with Nick. It felt right. Being with Nick made Charlie so happy.

Chapter Text

Nick had decided to tell his mom. He’d thought and thought about it and knew it was what he wanted to do. He was scared, but at the same time, it felt right.

The problem there was getting up the courage to actually say the words to her. He’d put this conversation off a half dozen times already. Christmas was coming fast and Nick wanted to do this before the holidays, so finally one day in mid December when he got home from school, without his boyfriend for a change, Nick just sat down across from her at the kitchen table, determined to say the words.

“Hello Nicky,” Sarah said with a smile. “Charlie isn’t with you today?”

“Um no,” Nick said. Charlie had been over a lot since the hickey incident because they couldn’t hang out as easily at his house anymore. Charlie’s parents' rule about the door always being open was quite a problem.

“I hardly see you two apart these days,” Sarah said, with a smile.

“Charlie is my best friend.” Nick took a shaky breath. “Umm actually he’s a little more than just my best friend.”

Nick’s chest was tight and he could hardly breathe. It felt easier to speak to his hands, but he couldn't look away. Nick needed to see his mother’s face. He wasn’t sure yet if she’d guessed what he was going to say next, but at least the only emotion he could see on her face was concern.

“Charlie’s my boyfriend.” He paused feeling a little lightheaded from the anxiety of it all. “I still like girls, but I like boys too, and Charlie and I are together. I just wanted you to know that.”

That was it. He’d said everything he wanted to say. She knew and now it was as if time stood still in the worst way. Seconds felt like years as he waited to find out what her reaction would be. All he was aware of at that moment was how tight his chest felt and how hard it was to breath.

He thought she’d say something, but instead his mother reached out to hug him. Nick wrapped his arms around her and let his tears soak her shirt. Nick had needed this hug more than anything. It seemed like she was accepting all of him with this hug, but it wasn’t until she spoke that he knew it to be true.

“Thank you for telling me,” Sarah said without pulling away. “And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me that.”

Nick hugged her a little tighter and then let go, his eyes instantly fixed on her face. Sarah was smiling and Nick couldn’t believe how light he felt.

“Nicky, you know you don’t have to say you still like girls if you don’t,” Sarah began.

A slight laugh escaped him. Nick couldn’t stop smiling. Everyone at school thought his boyfriend was with some girl and Nick’s friends all thought he was using Charlie to do his homework, but right now his mother had somehow made all of that unimportant.

“It’s definitely not just guys,” Nick said. “I’m bisexual.”

“How long have you known?”

“Charlie and I started going out in November,” Nick explained. “But I think I liked him from the day we first met if I’m being honest. I just didn’t realize it right away.”

“Oh I love you,” Sarah said as she went in for another hug. This time Nick was grinning into their embrace.

“And, um, I was wondering if we could have Charlie over during the holidays,” Nick continued.

“Of course,” Sarah smiled. “Even if you hadn't told me, I'd have assumed Charlie would be around over the holidays. You two have been inseparable. Close friends or boyfriends, Charlie is always welcome here.”

“Thanks mom,” Nick said beaming at her.

He hadn't actually needed to tell her to see Charlie over Christmas but Nick was so happy he had. It was amazing how much better he felt. His mother's unconditional love and acceptance would always mean more to him than he would have the words to express to her.

They spent the evening together the same way they always did, but it felt more important than usual. Like she was showing him that nothing would change between them.

At school the next day, Nick caught Charlie before he walked into form class. He wanted to grab Charlie’s hand and drag him off, but instead he just spoke softly.

“Follow me.”

Charlie smiled and followed as Nick led him down the hall and into a supply closet. He closed the door behind him.

“I told mom about us last night,” Nick said.

“Oh my god! How did it go?”

“Really well. She was totally fine with it. You can come around as much as you want over the holidays.”

“That’s amazing!” Charlie exclaimed as he threw his arms around Nick’s shoulders. Nick wrapped his arms around Charlie’s middle and lifted his boyfriend off the ground, squeezing him tight. There wasn’t enough space to spin Charlie around in the storage room or Nick would have done that too.

He placed Charlie back down on his feet and their eyes met. Charlie was smiling and Nick beamed back at his boyfriend, feeling elated in a new and wonderful way. Then his eyes moved down to stare at Charlie's lips. He knew that kissing at school was a terrible idea, but right now he wanted it more than he feared the consequences.

Without really intending to, Nick had moved closer to Charlie while he’d been thinking about kissing him. He shouldn’t have done that. As he realized, Nick began to pull away.

Charlie must have noticed because he placed a hand on either side of Nick’s face and pulled him in for a kiss. Nick’s school bag fell from his shoulder, but he didn’t care. It was the first time Charlie had ever kissed him at school and Nick felt like he might burst with happiness.

“We better get to class before someone notices we’re missing,” Charlie said with a huge grin.

“Yeah,” Nick agreed, but he didn’t move towards the door. Instead he stole his boyfriend’s lips in another searing kiss.

Charlie kissed him back, laughing lightly. “You are gonna get us caught.”

“Worth it though,” Nick grinned back, but this time he did turn to leave the storage room.

They walked into form class together and sat down. Nick reached over under the table to hold Charlie’s hand. Charlie scooched his chair closer so their legs touched.

Nick felt like he’d never been this happy in his entire life.

Before Charlie, Nick had repressed or ignored any of his thoughts or feelings that didn’t align with the person the world expected him to be. But thanks to Charlie, Nick had been able to accept and embrace the parts of himself he had previously hidden. Nick understood who he was more completely now and thanks to Charlie, Nick had found the courage to share who he really was with his mother.

Nick loved having Charlie in his life. It felt like his emotions were leaking out of him whenever he was around Charlie. He couldn’t control his face when he looked at his boyfriend. Holding back touching Charlie at school felt so wrong. Nick had to catch himself more than once when his natural instinct would have been to rest his head against Charlie’s shoulder, hold his hand or touch his face.

With his mother’s acceptance as armor, Nick felt like he could handle Harry and Ben’s snide comments at school. Charlie’s open and genuine affection after school and on the weekends made it easier to accept their ‘just friends’ display at school, but even so Nick didn’t feel quite right about the whole thing.

The last day of term ended, but Nick still had rugby practice after. Charlie had said he’d wait for Nick in the library and catch up on some reading so they could walk home together.

Nick was having a hard time paying attention in practice. His mind kept going back to the idea of a two week vacation with Charlie at his house everyday. Not to be too cliche about it but it felt very much like Christmas had come early.

“Nelson!” The couch called and Nick had to shake his head to bring it back to the moment.

“What? Sorry,” Nick called out to her as he worked to focus on the rugby game.

“Just because it's the last practice before the holidays doesn't mean you get to slack off,” she reminded him.

“Yes, right, sorry,” Nick repeated his apology.

Nick focused on the rugby ball and getting it on the other side of the field to score with more effect than it had ever taken him before.

When practice finally ended, Nick breathed a sigh of relief as he went to change.

He exited the changing room and there was Charlie. His boyfriend looked up from his phone as Nick approached and smiled.

“Hi,” Charlie said.

“Hi,” Nick said back. Nick just wanted to scoop Charlie up into his arms and spin him around before burying his face in Charlie's neck and kissing his skin.

But Nick couldn't do any of that at school.

All he could do was look at Charlie and bite his lip.

“You ready to go?” Charlie asked.

“Yep,” Nick replied, his eyes locked on his boyfriend's very kissable lips.

They walked side by side and Nick wanted to hold Charlie's hand. It wasn't until they were three blocks away from the school that he attempted it.

Charlie intertwined their fingers and turned to smile at him. Nick was relieved. He knew he shouldn't be. Nothing about their hiding at school was anything to do with Charlie rejecting him. He knew that. But sometimes it felt like rejection.

“My house today?” Nick asked.

“Most definitely,” Charlie replied. “I believe you promised me at least an hour alone in your bedroom with me.”

“How about the entire holiday?” Nick grinned.

“I wish,” Charlie laughed. “Somehow I doubt mom would agree to a sleepover now that she knows we aren't just friends.”

“My mom would be fine with it,” Nick replied. “You could just tell her you're sleeping at Tao’s?”

“Tempting, but if we got caught I can't even imagine how badly mom would react.”

“Fair,” Nick agreed. “Best not to get totally grounded till graduation.”

“Yeah,” Charlie replied. “I think if we give her time, she’ll warm up to us.”

Nick very much liked that idea. He told Charlie as much and then they talked of their plans for the holiday. Most of which consisted of video games, making out and movies.

“Snacks too,” Charlie added. “Movies require snacks.”

Nick laughed. He adored the sound of Charlie's voice. When he was happy, Charlie seemed almost to resonate with a joyful glow. Nick felt lucky to be part of Charlie's joy.

They had almost reached Nick's house when it suddenly started to rain. Laughing and running they covered the last leg of the journey quickly but still managed to get soaked through before they crossed the threshold into Nick's house.

Nick pulled Charlie along by the hand up to his room for some dry clothes.

“They’re probably a little bit big,” Nick said, offering Charlie the stack of clothes in his hands.

“I don't care. I'm so cold right now,” Charlie replied, accepting them.

Nick was cold too but only in the sense that he was covered in water. The idea of his boyfriend being naked in his bedroom even if just to change out of his wet clothes was making Nick feel rather warm.

“I- I'm,” Nick said. “I could change in the bathroom.”

“If you want,” Charlie smiled at him.

“What do you want?” Nick asked.

“I want to be warm,” Charlie laughed. He was already pulling off his shirt.

Nick was staring at Charlie, completely transfixed as he took in the sight of Charlie's bare chest. His eyes were drinking it in even as his mind panicked a little.

And Nick realized he wasn't quite ready for this. He wanted Charlie but he was so nervous and sure he'd mess it up.

Charlie pulled the dry baggy shirt over his head and looked curiously at Nick.

“You okay?” Charlie asked, his chest now covered in Nick’s jumper.

“Um-” Nick began his gaze moving up to look at his boyfriend's face. “Yeah um well… that was very distracting.”

“And I haven't even changed my trousers yet,” Charlie giggled.

Nick felt himself blush even more at Charlie's words, but Charlie only smiled at him.

“Please relax,” Charlie said. “I’m only teasing.”

Nick tried to breathe a bit slower. Charlie was smiling at him with such an affectionate look in his eyes, Nick couldn't help but melt a little.

“I enjoy being able to distract you,” Charlie said, grinning mischievously.

“Why is it always me being distracted?”

“Oh it isn't just you,” Charlie replied earnestly. “I can just hide it better. When you're flustered, it's so obvious.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Fabulous,” he grumbled.

Charlie closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Nick. “Yes, it is fabulous,” Charlie contradicted his sarcasm. “I adore flustered Nick.”

Nick decided changing out of his wet clothes could wait. He reached out with both hands and pulled Charlie's face towards his, crushing their lips together in a hungry kiss.

When he felt Charlie cold hands around the hem of his shirt, Nick shivered.

“This okay?” Charlie asked, indicating with his hands that he wanted to remove Nick’s wet t-shirt.

“Yeah,” Nick said.

Charlie's hands gripped the wet fabric and slowly Charlie pulled Nick's shirt up over his head.

Then Charlie's eyes were staring at Nick's bare chest. Nick knew he was blushing even before Charlie's gentle hands trailed over Nick's skin from his shoulders down his arms. Charlie closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his head against Nick’s bare skin. The contact felt so unbelievably good Nick could hardly believe it.

Nick wrapped his arms around Charlie, and buried his face in Charlie’s neck.

“You are right,” Charlie chuckled. “Getting changed with you is distracting.”

Nick laughed. “One of us could turn around?” he suggested.

“Practical, but less fun,” Charlie replied.

“Agreed.”

Then Nick felt Charlie begin to shiver in a cold way. Cuddles in dry clothes was what Charlie needed.

“Right, time to get dressed,” Nick ordered, pulling out of the hug. “Then I sentence you to cuddling under the blankets until you are toasty warm.”

“Best sentence ever,” Charlie agreed.

Nick did in fact have to turn around for Charlie to finish changing. Nick was next and then they got in under the blankets and Nick pulled Charlie in close to share his body heat.

“Better?” Nick asked.

“The best,” Charlie replied.

They talked and held each other until they were warm again. Then Nick did move a little to get his laptop so they could watch tv.

Sarah called them down for dinner before their movie ended and they had a lovely time eating and talking with her before returning upstairs to finish their movie.

The night was ruined when Charlie got a text from his mother telling him to come home. Nick walked his boyfriend to the front door and kissed him goodnight. He’d offered to walk Charlie home, but Charlie turned him down.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, though,” Charlie beamed at him. “I’ll text you when I can get away.”

“Sounds good,” Nick smiled. “I’ll be waiting.”

Charlie leaned in for one more goodbye kiss in the doorway before turning and walking home. Nick watched him go, feeling fluffy and warm inside.

Chapter Text

Showing up at home wearing not just Nick’s jumper, but his trousers as well, had not been a good idea. Charlie hadn’t thought about it until he saw his mother’s face.

“We got caught in the rain,” Charlie explained.

She didn’t say anything, but her face spoke volumes. It was late and Charlie wanted to just hide in his room. He decided to try and get away since she hadn’t actually said anything. He bid her goodnight and then turned to head upstairs. He felt like he’d escaped when he closed his bedroom door.

It wasn’t until the following morning at breakfast that Charlie realized he hadn’t escaped at all.

“I think we need to talk,” Jane began.

“What is it, mom?” Charlie was standing in the kitchen in his pajamas holding the empty bowl of cereal he’d just finished eating.

“You and Nick, um, seem kinda serious and I realized we’ve never talked about… things,” Jane said.

Charlie was really hoping this wasn’t going where he thought it was going.

“Safety things,” Jane continued. She looked more uncomfortable than Charlie felt.

If adults found it this uncomfortable talking about sex then they really shouldn’t bring it up!

“I’ll stop you right there, mom,” Charlie said. “We aren’t having sex and even if we were I already know everything you want to tell me. I have the internet.”

“You came home in his clothes last night!”

“Yeah cause mine were soaking wet and I nearly froze to death,” Charlie shot back.

“He gave you a hickey!”

“Yes, which is kissing,” Charlie reminded her. “Kissing is not the same as sex. We do a lot of kissing.”

He’d told her this before but today it felt like maybe she believed him a little more. At the very least enough to spare him the ‘safe sex’ talk. Jane relaxed and nodded slightly. Charlie wasn’t sure if she was actually listening to him for a change or just unwilling to have the awkward conversation. Either way he was counting it as a win.

“I promise if you get to know Nick even a little you’ll think he’s great,” Charlie smiled.

Jane sighed. “I suppose we could have him and his mother over for dinner if you want.”

“Yes!” Charlie beamed at her. He reached out to hug his mother and then bounded from the room.

Before he did anything else Charlie texted his boyfriend.

Charlie 9:45am
I think mom is coming around. She said we could have you and Sarah for dinner sometime.

Nick 9:51am
Sounds great! You sure your mom isn’t still upset about the hickey?

Charlie 9:57am
Oh I think it was me coming home in entirely your clothes that got her thinking this time.

Nick 10:01am
OMG I didn’t even think of that when you left! Sorry!

Charlie 10:03am
It’s okay. 😀

Charlie 10:04am
I’ll text when I can come over or we could take Nellie for a walk.

Nick 10:05am
I told Nellie the options and she chose a walk.

Charlie 10:06am
I’m just gonna get dressed quick and then I’m on my way!

Charlie laughed at his phone. He knew he was smiling like an idiot but he didn’t care. Nick was just so wonderful and he knew if his mom gave Nick a chance she’d see that too.

Getting dressed in a hurry, Charlie headed back downstairs to put on his shoes and tell his mom he was going to take a walk.

“With Nick?” Jane asked.

“Yeah of course,” Charlie replied. “We usually take Nellie to the park.”

He thought she would at least like the outdoors options better than if he’d said he was going to Nick’s house. If sex was really all she was worried about then they could hardly have sex in the park in broad daylight.

“Alright then,” Jane said with a sigh.

Charlie put on his coat and Converse and darted out the door. It was only then that he thought to check his phone to see if Nick had replied.

Nick 10:07am
I’ll meet you halfway.

That had been ten minutes ago which meant that Nick had probably already walked all the way here.

Sure enough, Charlie hadn’t been walking long when he saw Nick, approaching from down the street with Nellie’s leash in his hand. He waved and Charlie ran to catch up.

“You walk fast!” Charlie said when he skidded to a stop in front of his boyfriend.

“No, you just got dressed slowly,” Nick laughed. He pulled Charlie in for a hug and then they walked together towards the park.

Charlie couldn’t believe how happy he was to see Nick today. They’d only been apart overnight, but still Charlie had missed him. It was silly, but he did not care at all so long as Nick felt the same way.

“I missed you,” Charlie told him. “I know it’s silly but-”

“It’s not silly. I missed you too,” Nick beamed at him.

Charlie looked both ways. The street was clear and he decided to risk stealing a kiss. Nick chased his kiss, using his free hand to pull Charlie in and hold him for a few seconds more.

“Daredevil,” Charlie accused when they broke apart, but he was laughing.

“I gotta get in all the kisses I can,” Nick sighed. “Mom just told me this morning, my brother is going to be in town over the holidays.”

“You don’t talk about him much,” Charlie replied. The look on Nick’s face was more than enough for Charlie to understand that this was a bad thing, even if he knew nothing about Nick’s older brother.

“That’s because he’s a prick,” Nick explained. “I know he won’t react well if we tell him about us so we might have to be careful when he’s around.”

“That’s okay,” Charlie smiled at him. “We can do that.”

But Nick still looked annoyed. “I was just getting used to being out to our families and now back in the closet we go.”

“It might be fun,” Charlie smiled. “Being a secret at your house again. We could lock the door.”

“My bedroom door doesn’t lock,” Nick whined.

“We could put a chair under the handle,” Charlie offered. “At least your mom will let us close the door.”

“True,” Nick agreed.

“Family at the holidays is just tricky generally I think,” Charlie shrugged. “My grandmother is gonna be at my house on Christmas Day and despite the fact my being gay doesn’t seem to bother her, I don’t actually plan on telling her anything about my life. She always makes mom act worse and creates a lot of tension at home whenever she’s around.”

“That sucks.”

Charlie just shrugged. “At least she just comes on Christmas day and then leaves again. It sounds like your brother will be staying at your house. That sucks more.”

“Yeah it kinda does,” Nick agreed.

“Do you want to spend more time at my place over the holidays to avoid your brother?” Charlie asked. “I know mom’s ‘door always open’ policy is annoying but we could still hang out, maybe even play video games downstairs with Tori.”

“I don’t think Tori likes me,” Nick replied.

“She does actually,” Charlie smiled at his boyfriend. “She was the one who suggested I come out to you which as we both know led to-”

“Me kissing you,” Nick finished his sentence for him. Nick stopped walking and turned to beam at Charlie. “In that case I might owe her. Who knows how long we would have stayed ‘just friends’ without your little confession.”

“I like to think we would have figured it out eventually,” Charlie replied. “I mean we liked each other a lot and hung out almost every day. Surely, you would have noticed I wasn't into girls.”

But Nick was shaking his head. “You aren’t as obvious as you think you are. You might have guessed how I was feeling first.”

Charlie laughed. “Maybe,” he said, gazing at his boyfriend fondly. “Maybe one day at a party I would have just gotten up the nerve to ask you to kiss me.”

“And I would have wanted to kiss you,” Nick replied. “But a party would probably have freaked me out.”

“Fair enough,” Charlie agreed. “Not anymore though. You are far more comfortable with this now than you were before.”

“Yeah, but that isn’t exactly helping us,” Nick sighed. “Freaking out was kinda useful. Now I can barely keep my hands to myself at school.”

Despite how nervous it made him, Charlie adored how comfortable Nick was with him in public now. Every time Nick touched him a bit too intimately for ‘just friends’ at school, Charlie was somehow unbelievably happy and incredibly anxious at the same time.

“You’re an honest person,” Charlie told him. “That isn’t a bad thing.”

“Feels like a bad thing,” Nick grumbled. Charlie didn't like hearing Nick speak so negatively about himself.

They'd reached the park and Charlie stopped walking to turn and look at Nick. “It is most definitely not a bad thing,” Charlie told his boyfriend firmly. “Your genuine nature is one of my favourite things about you.”

“One of?” Nick asked, beaming at him.

“Yes, one of,” Charlie grinned back.

“Are you going to tell me any of the others?” Nick asked, moving forward to take hold of Charlie’s hand and lean in closer.

“Nope,” Charlie replied, beaming at him.

“Tease!” Nick accused.

“Maybe,” Charlie admitted.

Grinning with happiness, Nick grabbed hold of Charlie’s hand and pulled him along until they were behind the big tree and out of the view of the main walking path. Charlie knew what Nick was thinking and decided to beat him to it. Nick had barely turned around when Charlie threw himself at his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around Nick's neck and planting a wild kiss in his lips.

Nick's arms had a firm grip around Charlie's middle and then Charlie was lifted off the ground and spun in the air.

“Nick!” he exclaimed.

When his feet touched the ground again, Nick kissed him. Nick’s warm hands were on either side of Charlie’s face. Charlie kissed him back hungrily, backing up until he bumped into something hard and knew it had to be the tree. Nick’s body pressed against him and Charlie melted a little.

“And to think there was a time when I was too nervous to hold your hand,” Nick whispered as his lips moved from Charlie’s mouth to Charlie’s neck.

Charlie could barely register Nick’s words, as his entire focus shifted to the sensations of Nick’s lips against the soft skin of his neck. Then Nick pulled away and Charlie opened his eyes to look at his boyfriend, worried something was wrong.

“Why did you stop?” Charlie asked.

“Just trying not to give you a hickey for Christmas,” Nick sighed. “I really didn’t want to stop.” Nick was breathing hard and he looked about as disappointed as Charlie felt, but he knew Nick was right. Now that he could think, Charlie didn't want to explain a hickey to his grandmother.

Charlie hooked a finger into the collar of his shirt and pulled it down to expose some of his skin that was a bit more easily hidden.

“You sure?” Nick asked.

Charlie nodded. “If it wasn’t chilly I’d just take it off for you.”

“You know I would do my best to keep you warm,” Nick grinned at him.

“We are in a public park,” Charlie reminded him.

“Hey, you are the one offering up your skin like I’m a vampire,” Nick laughed and then Charlie was laughing too. He fell forward with the force of his laughter and held on to Nick’s arm to steady himself.

Charlie had just begun to recover from the uncontrollable laughter, when Nellie got his attention. She barked and nuzzled a little into his leg.

“We have neglected our child,” Charlie said, in his best serious voice.

“Oh my god stop,” Nick laughed. “I can barely breathe as it is.”

When they were able to catch their breath, it was time to actually play with Nellie. Charlie ran with her and Nick took pictures like usual. Charlie wasn’t sure how many pictures of him Nick had on his camera roll at this point, but he knew it must be in the hundreds.

Their morning in the park ended when they were both too hungry to put off lunch any longer.

“So your place or mine?” Nick asked.

“Well I told mom I was going to the park with you so if I don't come back she'll probably jump to some ridiculous conclusion.”

“Your place it is,” Nick smiled. “Maybe Tori will play video games with us. If you are in fact right that she doesn't dislike me.”

“Tori just gives everyone that look,” Charlie shrugged. “She's the best but doesn't like to let people know it.”

“Hmm, so a bit like you then,” Nick replied.

Charlie grinned. “Well she is my sister.”

He hadn't missed the subtle way Nick had just called him ‘the best’ but he wasn't gonna say anything about it. Instead Charlie just enjoyed the compliment.

When they arrived at Charlie's place, the first order of business was finding some lunch. Everyone else had already eaten -- since they hadn’t been on a dog walk until well after 1pm -- so Nick and Charlie got to work making themselves sandwiches.

Charlie opened a can of tuna and Nick sliced the tomato and some cheese. Charlie even found a bag of crisps in the cupboard and they had a quite enjoyable lunch together sitting at the table. Charlie put the kettle on and rummaged around until he found some cookies to go with their tea.

After lunch they decided to play video games downstairs. Charlie asked if Tori wanted to join but she said she was saving up her social energy for Christmas.

Charlie did sneak his boyfriend upstairs for some very speedy kisses once they were done with Mario Kart, but keeping the door open really ruined the privacy of it.

After that Nick put a movie on his laptop and they laid on the bed. Charlie snuggled in close with his head resting on Nick's chest.

Charlie was called down to dinner before the movie ended and he assumed his mother would insist on Nick leaving but instead she invited him to eat with them.

Nick accepted and Charlie couldn't believe how happy it made him to have his boyfriend join his family on just an everyday dinner. There was something lovely about the spontaneous casual aspect of their dinner tonight.

“Mom actually talked to you!” Charlie gushed as he walked Nick home after dinner.

“She's not totally comfortable with me, I think, but she seems like she's trying to be.”

“She is! And it's amazing! You must be magic.”

“I am not!” Nick objected.

“Are so.”

“Am not.”

Charlie laughed, loudly feeling like the joy of the moment might actually burst out of his body if he didn't give it an escape route.

“What are we arguing about anyway?” Charlie asked, still giggling.

“I have no idea,” Nick replied laughing too.

They'd reached Nick’s house and Charlie kissed him goodbye before standing back to watch his boyfriend disappear behind Sarah's front door.

Charlie walked home with a spring in his step. He'd see Nick again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and every day.

When he walked back into his house, his mother even smiled at him. Charlie thought his life might actually be perfect.