Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sydney and Carmy stood side by side, both feeling themselves get more and more irritated as the place started to get crowded, both whispering under their breath for the old lady to move faster so they could leave. 

After their fight in the alley, Natalie convinced them to go to therapy. They both refused at first, thinking it was ridiculous and would only ruin their relationship further, but Jimmy basically threatened them so they had no choice but to go. 

They went to two sessions before either of them truly opened up and once they did it was like they let out every demon that lived within them. It was really bad for them, especially for Carmy, but they were able to make progress once both had been clear what their problem with the other was. 

Carmy’s problem was that he felt Sydney kept him at arms length while Sydney’s problem was that she felt like she couldn’t trust Carmy. 

The therapist assigned them different tasks that had the goal of helping them to actually get to know each other and go beyond the surface level that they allowed the other to see, one of those tasks was hanging out away from the restaurant at least once a week, so that’s what they were doing. 

It was hard to stay away from the kitchen though, so one of their hang outs was going to the farmers market and then going to one of their houses and trying out new recipes that they have sent each other during the week. 

So now there they were, in the middle of the hottest summer Chicago had ever seen, buying tomatoes from an old lady that definitely had trouble seeing as the place started to fill up due to rush hour. 

They finally finished shopping and found their way out of the market, pushing people around to be able to walk. 

They both saw stars and thanked God once they saw the car. Carmy already looked like Larry the lobster and Sydney couldn’t have picked a worse day to wear her new flats, her feet were burning. 

“Excuse me, are you two a couple?” They heard someone ask from behind them. Carmy turned around and stood in front of Sydney, answering before she could. 

“Who’s asking?” He asked with a scowl.

“I’m Johnny, sorry, I have a tiktok show, I ask people if they’re dating and then ask them about their story” Johnny said with a smile. 

“Oh!, yeah, I showed you one of his videos a few days ago” Sydney said with a smile before offering him a hand shake. “Hi, no, we’re not dating, sorry” 

“We’re best friends” Carmy said, which earned him a side eye from Sydney. 

“Oh, well, would you guys mind telling us that story?”

“Umm, sure” He said before looking at Sydney for approval. 

“Yeah, well, umm, I had just shut down my business and I needed a job. I saw that his restaurant needed a new chef and I saw his name, he was super famous and incredibly talented so I showed up and the rest is history” She said with a shy smile. 

“She had a crazy resume, I couldn’t believe she wanted to work at my dump” Carmy said, his eyes never leaving her face. “I think she’s the most excellent chef I've worked with and I’ve worked with a lot of greats” 

“So how long have you guys known each other?” 

“Three, four years?” She said.

“Yeah, around four, but it feels like an eternity, like we always knew each other in the back of our minds”

“So, what’s your favorite thing about him?”

“Umm” She said while looking at him. “Well, he’s incredibly talented, of course, umm, he really cares about people around and he does the things that he needs to do to become a better person everyday”

“And you?” Johnny said, turning to Carmy.

“Umm, I mean, where do I even start? She’s everything, you know? Everything that’s good, and interesting and lovely, she’s super smart, super talented, a great friend and daughter, really, I…I thank God everyday that I can have her in my life” 

“Great, umm, what are your names?”

“I’m Sydney” 

“Carmy” 

“We work at The Bear, you should come by” She said with a smile. 

“Oh, I would love to, thank you guys for your time. Bye”

“Bye” They said in unison before finally getting into the car and driving away. 

Despite no longer being CDC, Carmy had convinced Tina that she didn’t need to worry about closing up and he would do it with Sydney, so there they were, putting things away and getting everything ready for the next day while everyone else went home. 

“Hello, can we talk to you guys?” Said Natalie, while coming out of the office with Richie trailing behind her.

“Sure, what’s up?” Sydney responded. 

“So, there’s this video-” Natalie said softly. 

“Of you giving an interview, it’s all over social media, everyone thinks you’re secretly in love” Richie interrupted.

“Richie!”

“What? You speak too slow” He said before turning back to Sydney and Carmen. “Anyway, a lot of people are saying they’ll come to restaurant because of that video and they want to see your love story evolve, so-” 

“We want you to make more videos together for The Bears social media”

“You want us to pretend to date?” Sydney asked, flabbergasted. 

“No, no, honey, we just want you to be you, just like you always are, you’re just gonna be on the pages, together, a lot" 

“This is fucking stupid Sugar, why would people come just because they think we’re in love?” 

“I don’t know, but people are saying they’re going to do it,” she said. 

“Yeah, the place is already booked out for the rest of the week and a bunch of influencers want to come and film” Richie continued. 

“And we may and or may not have got a comment from your favorite publications Syd” Natalie said in a sing-song tone, hoping to be able to bribe her. 

“Bon Appétit left a comment?”

“Yup, what do you say? You don’t have to pretend to date or anything you just have to be yourselves and that’s it”

“Wh-what about Tina?” Carmy asked. 

“What about her?” Natalie said. 

“She’s the cdc, shouldn’t she be the one in the videos? Getting some, umm, love on social media or whatever?”

“We have plenty of videos of her, they love her, you don’t have to worry about that, she gets plenty of attention. I know you don’t like being on videos but think about it, this could be really good and we could pay off our debt faster than expected” 

“Why don’t we do this?” Richie said “You guys think about it overnight and come back to us in the morning, just think about it, good and hard, cause like Natalie said, this could make the difference between losing the restaurant and paying our debt” 

Sydney and Carmy finished closing up in silence and then went their separate ways, Sydney turning down his offer for a ride for the first time in months. 

Sydney found the video and watched it over and over on her way home. She read the comments and saw a pattern, everyone thought he was secretly in love with her and she had no idea. A side of her felt happy because it meant she had truly mastered her poker face and no one had any idea about her feelings but the other side was hurt thinking about something that would never happen.

For as long as they’ve known each other, Carmy’s behavior has barely been that of a friend, the idea that he could be into her seemed absolutely ridiculous to her, still, she scrolled through the comments and a smile started to spread on her face. 

@barbie32: omg, look at the way he looks at her…i think i would melt. 

@jessice000: it’s giving friends to lover

@midnigths2: he’s totally in love with her and she’s totally clueless… im sat 

@ari2020: "i thank God everyday everyday i can have her in my life"?????? how can she not be in love, omg

She logged off tik tok and put on her headphones for the rest of the ride, not wanting the delusion in the comments to get to her. Carmy wasn’t in love with her, they were seeing things and that was that. 

Meanwhile, Carmy drove home in complete silence. He hadn’t seen the video but he was sure this was all his fault. Tina had mentioned once that he looked at Sydney like she hung the moon and ever since he had tried to make it less obvious, but clearly, he hadn’t been successful. 

He’s pretty sure he fell in love with Sydney the day she walked into The Beef and everything he did since was in some way him trying to keep her away because he was poisonous and he knew it. At some point he realized having her as a friend was better than not having her at all, so he took a step back, got on his best behavior and made sure that he would have a place in her life even if it wasn’t the one she wanted. 

He got home and immediately threw himself on the couch. He hated the idea of being on video but he loved the idea of paying off Jimmy but he also hated the idea of exposing his feelings for everybody to see and worse, being rejected by Sydney and losing her if she realized what was going on. 

He was drifting away until his phone buzzed. 

“Hey”

“You home?” 

Two messages from Sydney. 

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m in if you are” The text simply read. Carmy let out a deep breath, he knew this was a bad idea, there was no way he could get the girl, but there was nothing in the world that Sydney could want and he wouldn’t try to give it to her, so he just said. 

“Of course I am”

Chapter Text

“Ok, so, just be normal, ok? Be natural, this is gonna be a video like any other, you don’t have to do anything, just be normal, ok?” Natalie said while standing behind the camera. 

They had decided that the best thing was for them to film a video while the restaurant was closed, as a trial of sorts. Carmy wasn’t used to filming so they were sure they would have to star over multiple times until they got at least a few takes they could piece together. 

“Yeah, we got it,” Sydney said with a smile. 

“I was mostly talking to Carm sweetheart” 

“Yeah, I got it,” Carmy said with a scowl and irritation while cleaning his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

“Ok, so let’s start,” She said with a smile before she hit record. 

Just as expected, filming took forever, and it was all Carmy’s fault. He would forget his lines, forget when he was supposed to talk, turn his back to the camera, speak too softly, speak too loudly; it was a mess. 

“Ok, I’m done, maybe you were right, this is a bad idea, we’ve been here all day and nothing good has come out. Sorry for making you waste your day off” Natalie said while walking towards them. 

“Sorry, ok, I just” Carmy said while rubbing his face over and over again, making it turn beet red. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, yes, he hated being in videos but he had done some before so this shouldn’t be hard, but pretending to be in love with your friend while also pretending your not because you really are and don’t want her to notice turned out to be harder than he expected. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine, we just have to try again, ok, let’s try again, no pressure” Sydney while rubbing his arm, trying to comfort him, clueless that her touch was making it worse. 

“I can’t honey, I have to go home, I’ve already asked Pete to give me 15 minutes 3 times, I’m sorry” Natalie said while picking up her bag. “I’ll see you guys later ok? We’ll figure out some other way to promote the restaurant ok, don’t worry about it” She said before walking out.

Sydney and Carmy stood in silence, frustrated at their situation. Sydney was better at hiding it, but her anxiety was running a mile per hour, telling her that the reason why Carmy was having such a hard time with this was because he hated the idea that people would think he’s into her. 

“I’m sorry ok? I,I, I don’t know, I just-” He started trying to explain himself, pacing around the kitchen while lightly pulling his hair. 

“It’s ok, why don’t we do this?” She said while walking to the tripod and putting her phone in. . “Let’s forget about all of this, the script, whatever, let’s do a dish, anything you want and let’s just do it as we normally would, forget the camera is there, just cook” She finished with a smile. 

“Ok, yeah, let’s do that” 

“Ok, let’s start”

Things were a bit shaky at first, Carmy still being way too aware of the camera following him around and picking up every word he said, but as time went on he focused more and more on the task at hand and he focused more and more on Sydney’s smile, her laugh, her voice, her hands, her scarf, just her, and he was able to ignore everything else. 

Sydney, meanwhile, was using every bone in her body to not over think how she was catching him staring at her with soft eyes every time she looked his way. Convincing herself it didn’t mean anything, it was an act, they were playing it up for the audience and that was it. But wouldn’t she give everything up to make it mean something. 

They completely lost track of time and didn’t notice the sun coming down. 

“This is great chef, really great,” Sydney said with a smile while taking a bite. 

“Yeah, thanks to you,” Carmy said, copying her smile. 

“Oh my God, i fucking dark outside, Jesus” Sydney said after catching a glimpse of the window. “What time is it?” She quickly ran back to her phone, still hooked on the tripod. “Is so fucking late and I have to take the train” 

“I’ll walk you to the station,” Carmy said, running after her to put on his own coat. 

“Are you sure? I’m sorry I can’t help you clean-”

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it, I’ll do it, let me walk you and then I’ll come back, is ok” 

They walked side to side in silence, neither knowing what to say now. If it were up to them they would vomit out how in love they are with the other but they knew they couldn’t do that as they, wrongly, assumed that the other wouldn’t like that. 

“So, today was fun, right?” He asked while they waited for the train to arrive. 

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t so fun for you at first, but yeah” She said with a smile but avoiding his eyes, not wanting him to see the worry in them. 

“No, I, I was having fun, definitely, all of fun” He rushed to say, not wanting her to think it was his weirdness was her fault. “It was just, you know, I, I didn’t want to make things weird or anything” 

“Yeah, no, totally, I get. It’s kinda crazy that we’re doing this isn't it? Pretending to be in love and stuff” She said, letting out a stiff laugh at the end. 

“if only you knew” He thought to himself, before putting a smile on his face. “Yeah, but I mean, we’re not doing anything odd right? I mean we’re just acting like normal” 

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” She thought. “Yeah, right, acting normal and people just think that we’re in love” 

“Right” 

They looked at each other, both too stupid to grasp what that meant and before neither could say anything, the train arrived. Sydney went on her way and Carmy walked back to the restaurant to clean up the mess they made. 

A few days later Sydney sent all the footage she got to Natalie so that she could try to edit it and make some videos. Natalie sat with a smile on her face watching two of her favorite people be so in love and so stupid. 

“How can they not see it?” She asked Richie on the other side of the zoom meeting as they watched the videos. 

“Cause they’re stupid, that’s how” He said matter-of-factly. 

The following weeks went by in a blur. The videos gained traction immediately and next thing they knew, them and The Bear were the hottest thing on the internet. Everyone wanted to eat there just to get a glimpse at them and become a part of their love story, magazines wanted to talk to who were now the most famous chefs in the country and the critics wanted to try the hottest restaurant in Chicago.  

For as much time as they spent together, they barely had time to really talk as they were spending all of their time cooking, talking about the restaurant and trying not to give away how much they really were into each other. 

Sydney took a deep breath and looked up with a smile, taking a well deserved break from the busiest service they’ve ever had. Despite being exhausted from all the running around they had been doing, this is everything she ever wanted, for The Bear to make it. She would have loved it if that didn’t come at the cost of having to pretend to be in love with her friend while actually being in love with him, but you can’t have everything you want. 

“Hey, you ok?” Carmy asked. 

“Yeah, just, needed some fresh air” 

“This whole thing is so crazy” He said with a smile, playing with a stress ball. “I can’t believe this is how the restaurant get recognition” 

“Yeah, it’s crazy that we had to pretend to be in love for it to happen” She said with a tense laugh. 

“Yeah, pretend” He whispered under his breath while pacing around and playing with his stress ball until he came to a sudden stop in front of her. “What if I’m not pretending?” He asked seriously. 

“What?”

“Yeah, what if I’m, what if I’m serious and I’m in love with you?” 

“What the hell are you talking about Carmy?” She asked with a frown. 

“I think I fell in love with you when you walked into the restaurant and I was definitely gone after you came back. I just didn’t think I deserved you, I didn’t think you deserved to be with a piece of shit like me. But I talked to Dr Lawrence and she says I’ve been better, you said it too, the therapy is helping and I don’t know, I don’t want to regret anything and I just think, maybe I deserve something good and maybe I can be good to you” 

Carmy was met with a shocked look on her face, which he mistook for disinterest and disgust. 

“I’m sorry, I, I don’t want to make things weird, I just-” He started

“I’m in love with you too” She said quickly, interrupting him. 

“What?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know how long, it kinda just happened, but yeah, I haven’t been pretending either” 

“That, that’s great” He said before breaking into a silly laugh that Sydney quickly followed. “We should go on a date, soon” He said, getting serious once again. 

“Totally, yeah, but we should probably go back to work now” 

“Yeah, totally” 

They stared at each other before laughing again. 

“Hey lovebirds, we have a full house here, c’mon” Richie said, interrupting their moment. They looked at each other with a smile once more before going back to work. 

A year later

“Excuse me, are you two a couple?” They heard someone ask from behind them as they walked through the farmers market. Carmy turned around and stood in front of Sydney, answering before she could. 

“Who’s asking?” He asked with a scowl before realizing who it was and smiling. “Johnny, man, how are you?” 

“Good, good, you two are two for what I see” 

“Yeah, this time we are dating,” Sydney said. 

“And more,” Carmy said before pointing at her ring finger. 

“Congratulations, so how did it happen” 

“Well, it’s thanks to you actually. Let’s just say a lot of things happened after the first time we met and we’re here” Sydney said with a smile. 

“Awesome, so when’s the wedding?”

“In a couple of weeks” Carmy said, truth be told he was more excited about the wedding than anyone else. 

“Well, that’s amazing, congratulations. Quickly, tell me one thing you love about him” 

“Umm” She said while looking at him. “Well, I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in all the senses of the word. He did everything he needed to do to be a better person, he still does and I couldn’t be happier with him”

“And you?” Johnny said, turning to Carmy.

“Where do I even start? She’s everything, you know? Everything that’s good, and interesting and lovely, she’s super smart, super talented, a great friend and daughter, really, I…I thank God everyday that I will spend the rest of my life with her” 

“Great, umm, what are your names?”

“I’m Sydney” 

“Carmy” 

“Alright, thank you guys” Johnny said with a smile before they all went their separate ways.