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My nails dig into my upper arms, watching camp activities from a tree. The dryad graciously noticed my anxiety-filled state and left me to be.
Below nobody noticed I was gone. I’ve been up here for a while. I guess that’s just how being your own cabin head is. I close my eyes curling up into a ball, precariously balancing with my back against the trunk.
Mama getting the Minotaur's attention. “GO PERCY GO” - Dragging Grover up the hill, watching mama’s neck get crushed on the minatours grip - Passing out at the entrance of camp. Mama's dead Is she gone? Mama’s dead and it’s all your fault. What could I have done? Watching mama slowly get crushed. This happened because of you Mama’s scream s e a r e d into you m e m o r y-
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“HEY, Percy!” The shout startles me, my already precarious position proving not to be helpful as the shout makes me jump, immediately losing my position and tumbling to the ground.
“Oh ouch, dude sorry- I didn’t mean to make you fall off the tree.” I look up to see the concerned face of Drew Tanaka. Her hand extended. I take it.
“No it’s fine, I was the one that fell anyway.” I stared at the ground waiting for the inevitable comment on my parentage. The abandonment just like everyone else in camp.
“Dude, Silena, Me and Beckendorf have been looking for you all day.” She lets out an annoyed huff. Scowling at the ground, “We’ve been worried about you, you haven’t come to literally almost any of the meals. You didn’t make yourself a schedule, so no camp activities-” She cuts off.
Leaning down, gently grabbing my arm, “Oh, hey, I’m not getting after you. I just-” She lets out a frustrated groan, “honestly I should not have been the one to find you, Silena would be much better at this.” She broke off muttering about some ‘stupid head counselor meetings, always being at the wrong time’.
The whole interaction has been overwhelming, and I just sit with my gaze on the ground. “You don’t talk much do you?” My eyes flick up to meet hers.
“ I do talk.” The snappy reply was fast, and out of my control. Well look at that Brain Boy, the one person who willingly talks to you- you manage to screw it up just like you mess up everything else in your life. You ruin everything and everyone, just look at how that ended up for mama.
Seemingly surprised at my outburst she paused, “Well there you go, you still have some fight left in ya.” The uncharacteristically praising words sent me reeling.
What.
“C’mon, let’s go to the Aphrodite cabin. I think you look like you need something to do.” She pulls my arm behind her making her way over to Cabin 10.
“We can have a real talk about actually taking care of yourself, and what not when Silly, and Beck come back from their meeting.” Pausing to open the door she yells into the cabin. “OKAY EVERYONE OUT PRIVATE BUSINESS OCCURING.” Groans come from all sides of the cabin as she pulls me in behind her.
They file out, only glancing at me, making no commentary and we’re left with an empty cabin in the span of five minutes. She looks back at me rolling her eyes, “I swear they’re a bunch of hooligans, but I love them. You know siblings, am I right?” At my deadpan look she winces. “Oh, umm, right.”
She guides me over to a huge vanity mirror, wide draws attached everywhere, exploding with different colors and makeup tools, and brushes. Slightly overwhelmed I just stared back at her.
“Your favorite color’s blue right?” She opens a drawer of what seems to be nail polish and starts rifling through the blues.
“How do you know that?” My accusatory question doesn’t seem to bother her, and she just flippantly waves her hand around.
“You know, the vine. There’s a bunch of things on there these days. Real untasteful if you ask me.” Bewildered, I continued to stare at her. “Aha! I knew there was this color in here.” She pulls out a soft dark blue from the pile, before closing the drawer and turning back to me.
“Sorry about that, I swear no one but Nora organizes those things, and we use them so often you know?”
I hummed in agreement, unsure of what to do, hesitantly I quietly ask, “do you have a favorite color?” The words tumbled out awkwardly, the silence in the room making them fall flat.
She beams, “hell no, I don’t subject to the system.” I huff out a laugh and she adds, “ I do have a preference for pink, though, call me basic.” She grins.
“Pink isn’t basic, it’s obviously one of the better colors if you ask me.” That has to be the longest sentence I’ve said since I got claimed.
She shot me a wry smile, “Heck ya, dude.” She reached out for my hands intently inspecting my nails. Self-consciousness shot through me.
“I-”, My face flushes, “I don’t really take care of them sorry.”
She waves her hand, “That’s all good, I can’t imagine you’ve been worried about cuticle care honestly.” She sends me a warm smile, and my nervousness dissipates slightly.
After pulling out several different tools, and what seemed like a liquid of some sort, turned back to me pulling over a small table to rest my hands on. She slides me a seat, and I lower myself carefully, setting near the edge of the seat.
She sets out on my nails, and the weird sensation keeps my thoughts from wandering too far. I took a deep breath, my nose filling with the smell lingering throughout the cabin. You’d think that this many different perfumes would be headache inducing, but it was almost… pleasant?
I exhaled, watching Drew work on my hands. I felt…. calm.
I haven’t felt this since… my mouth felt dry, a lump in my throat. Drew flicks her eyes towards mine, concern once again passing over her face.
“Hey it’s all good, what's wrong?” Absent-mindedly I notice that my cheeks are wet, tears making their way down my face.
I take in a breath, since when are my lungs aching opening my mouth to reassure her, nothing but a sob escaping. She quickly makes her way around the table wrapping her arms around me.
“Sh, no it’s okay. You’ll be okay. I’m sorry.” She kept murmuring quiet nothings into my ear, and I started shaking harder. The soothing words further reminding me of what was. What can never be again.
After a moment I choke out, “Sorry.” Trying to pull away, embarrassment slithering through my head. She just shook her head and squeezed tighter.
“Never be sorry for grieving, Perce.” The nickname made me pause, and I sunk into the embrace allowing myself to relax for the first time since I got to camp.
Eventually the quiet of the cabin calmed my heart, my lungs breathing through the pain. I pull away with a soft, “thanks.”
She just nods, returning to her side of the table, pulling my hands to her once again. After a couple minutes she moves on to the color. The blue reminds me of cookies, and acts of rebellion.
Mama would want you to be happy the thought sneaks its way to the forefront of my mind, whispering in my ear.
She blows on my nails. Adding a clear coat of nail polish on top once it’s dry.
I soundlessly open my mouth, clearing my throat before asking, “Why?” She cocks her head to the side, eyebrows pulling in question.
“-Why did you try to find me? Why do you care?”
She exhales, resting her chin on her hand. “Percy,” Her eyes found mine, searching, “ I don’t need a reason. You’re worth that and more.” I inhale, I’ve never heard that from anyone but mama.
I blink.
“Okay.”