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Remus had been bouncing with nerves for the whole day. Sirius looked at him quizzically as they had an early breakfast, and Remus looked one breath away from going absolutely crazy. He didn’t need an invitation to know he was expected at his childhood home in Crickhowell for his mother’s 60th birthday party, along with about a dozen other relatives his mother undoubtedly invited.
Of course, Sirius had met his parents already ages ago, and they loved him to bits. Especially after Remus told them about his complicated relationship with his family, Hope and Lyall Lupin practically adopted him as their own. They weren’t the ones he was worried about, but rather, his nosey group of aunts and drunken uncles. His family was loud, and he knew. It was such a stark contrast between the stories of Sirius’ eerie silence of a home, his dinners in silence and gourmet meals he was sure no real person actually eats. Even with the Potters, with their warmth and calm nature of their time spent together, happy just to be with each other, whether in comfortable silence or the chaotic board game nights they varied from.
The Lupins, however, were loud. Even with his mother’s efforts, bless her heart, couldn’t get them to be calm for the life of her. It was as if they felt everything so deeply, and had their reactions genetically set to the extremes. Most importantly, they loved to chat. It was kind of embarrassing, really.
He was always teased for being different as a young child, of being quiet and bookish and keeping to himself most of the time, just like his father was. He didn’t want to burden Sirius with his aunt and uncle’s interrogations, their pestering questions about their relationship, the pressure of marriage, his job, anything that came in their drunken heads. But of course, his mother made it very clear in her phone call to him a few days ago expecting both of them at the celebration.
Now, they were out on the front porch, the music and sounds of chatter bustling through the walls, a present in his hand and a bouquet of flowers in Sirius’. He made an effort to tame himself just for the evening, having put on a button-down shirt and removed some of his earrings. But above anything, he refused to leave the flared jeans.
“It’ll be fine, you know,” Sirius said, noticing Remus’ behaviour earlier on the train.
“S’ just your family, not the queen of England.”
Remus scoffed at the remark, reaching for the doorbell. “I know. Try not to get roped into a conversation about politics with my uncle.”
There were shuffling noises behind the door, before it was eventually opened to reveal a cheery face of Hope Lupin.
“Remus, dear,” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss into his cheek. Remus had to lean down for her to reach him, now. He noticed how his mother got smaller and smaller every time he saw her. He noticed how she had more grey streaks in her blonde hair, tied back into a loose bun like usual. Funny thing it is, time.
“You’re late,” Hope chided him gently.
“Yeah, sorry mum, but look who I brought.”
She turned her gaze to Sirius, who was holding a colorful bouquet in his arm, and immediately softened. Hope kissed his cheek, too, just like she did her son.
“Hello, Sirius. You look well,” She said, as she pulled away from the embrace. Sirius was smiling, as if anyone could resist the motherly warmth of Hope Lupin, handing her the bouquet. “Happy birthday, mum. These are for you.”
Mum, Remus couldn’t help but smile.
As usual, Hope ushered them inside and forced just about fifteen things onto their plates. Remus didn’t protest, he liked her cooking, and Sirius was probably trying to be polite as he saw baked beans on his plate.
“What, suddenly changed your mind about baked beans?” Remus teased, which earned him an elbow to the rib. “Shove of.. I’m gonna go eat on the sofa. Maybe I could get control of the stereo,” Sirius announced in whispers, shoving a bite of food into his mouth as he made his leave. Remus chuckled, knowing full well there was no way his older cousins would relinquish the power of the stereo to someone who looked like he’d put Metallica on in front of their elders.
***
Remus didn’t really know when he’d lost sight of Sirius. He was engaged in a light-hearted conversation with his father, then a few cousins he hadn’t seen in a while came to say hello and had a quick chat about life after adolescence and growing apart from being childhood best friends. They were always a pleasure to talk to, and Remus was sure nostalgia would kill him someday. But before he knew it, he had lost sight of Sirius, who said he’d be on the sofa.
This was his worst nightmare, if anything. What if Sirius was already cornered by his aunt asking if he had a girlfriend and her attempts of setting people up? He could almost hear her voice ringing in his ear at the thought. What if he found his family obnoxious and had already left? What if—ah, fuck.
Remus moved throughout the house, in search of Sirius, poking his head through the living room door. Surely enough, he saw a mop of black hair which stood out in this setting, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
He was about to walk out for him, until he saw just what Sirius was doing.
And there he was—Sirius, his Sirius—in the middle of a mop of unruly blonde mop of his three little cousins. He didn’t miss how his unruly hair was now tied back with a ribbon in a lumpy little bow, the fringes of hair at the front clipped back with butterflies, and how his sleeves were rolled up, as the kids busied themselves with colouring in his tattoos. The piece de resistance was the utterly adoring look in his eyes. Sirius didn’t look like he minded for a second that his beloved ink that adorned his muscles was being coloured into. Or that his hair, that was his thing, is styled so ridiculously and how he’d never dreamed of seeing Sirius like this. It was a reminder of how underneath his quarrelsome and impulsive nature, Sirius was also so soft. It made his insides flip a little, as if the butterflies in his hair had suddenly come to life and flew right into his stomach.
He had never really liked children before, if not family. He couldn’t stand their incessant crying and screaming. Remus had never even considered children of his own, since he was gay and dating this absolute beauty of a man. But this is something else, this made him go all soft and had the urge to gush over him like a schoolgirl. It felt like he could do this, family, if it was with him. Well, really, anything as long as it’s with him.
Remus caught himself smiling so much that his cheeks hurt, really, and by that time he knew Sirius probably had already noticed him.
“Moons!” He beamed, waving a free arm in the air to beckon Remus over. He found himself moving without much resistance, sitting down in front of him.
“Don’t you look dashing,” Remus remarked sarcastically, but no one could’ve missed the affectionate tone of his voice. “I could get used to your new rainbow-sprinkled throw up style.”
“Ha-ha, very funny, Moons.” Sirius mocked, rolling his eyes at his words. Remus leaned in and kissed him, and could already feel the ‘oohing’ from the little devils fading into the back of his mind.
“I love you,” said Remus.
“I’m very easy to love.”
Oh, how I know.