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Baby has never been the type of person to have regrets. He does things not caring for the consequences, because no matter how bad things get, it's not like it'll matter to him. He's a demon, so why should he care about what's right or wrong? Why should he worry about the choices he makes? Where's the fun in any of that?
But right now, sitting across from Zoey as she flips through her notebook and reads off the lyrics of all the possible songs they could put in her solo EP… well, he's having a lot of regrets.
"I thought your debut was just going to be a single," Baby interrupts her before she can continue any longer, index finger impatiently tapping the arm of the chair he was sitting on as his gaze scanned the living room of the penthouse.
It was big, expensive, and fitting of an idol such as Zoey. But it felt empty. There weren't really any decorations that made the place feel like home. A few paintings on the wall that were no doubt already here when they got the place, and some posters of their past albums and tours, but that's it.
Zoey sighs, falling back on the couch and letting her notebook slide out of her grip, "It was, but Celine decided an EP would be better. I guess she caught wind of the concept I wanted to go for. This might be her way of telling me it won't work out, 'let's see how many songs you have that could fit such a dark concept',"
Baby doesn't have a single clue who this woman was that Zoey was talking about, and he honestly did not care to learn. He finds himself hating the woman, even if he's never met her, simply because she's put more work on him without even realizing it.
The concept Zoey wanted to go for wasn't even that dark. Not by demon standards, at least. It was just a stark contrast to the loveable and 'girl-crush' persona that came with her position in the group. He's seen other groups use this sort of concept before, though he can't remember their names.
This Celine woman and Zoey's company didn't seem to have a lot of faith that Zoey could pull off dark concepts. She handles girl-crush pretty well, though it's not a hard concept to pull off. The lack of faith from her company seems to be feeding into Zoey's lack of faith in herself, too, which just makes this all the more frustrating.
"Tch," He glares absently at the wall, unable to stomp down the odd flare of annoyance in his chest, "Who cares? Just pick out the songs you like best," He grumbles.
This was far too much work; he wonders if it'd be possible to bail on her. It'd certainly save him the trouble of having to act buddy-buddy with a hunter.
"But if the company doesn't like the songs, then–"
"The company can suck it up. This is your solo debut, and your fans will probably eat up whatever you put out."
His words were a bit harsh, and they were meant to be. Baby isn't nice, and he's not going to be nice just because some cute (wait, cute?) hunter is wallowing away in her own self-doubt, worrying about doing what would make her bosses happy with her rather than what would make her happy.
"And if you're so worried about what your company will think, then just leave them and start your own. Be your own boss." He adds absently. It wasn't a serious suggestion, more so a lazy attempt to get under her skin. A pathetic jab at her lack of self-worth, really.
It didn't have the desired effect, seeing as Zoey shot up straight, looking at Baby like he'd just given her the answer to the meaning of life. Her eyes were all bright, and they kind of resembled gems. Pretty, and hard to look away from.
He blinks. This is not something he should be thinking about. What the hell is wrong with him?
"That's a great idea!" Zoey's voice snaps the demon out of his reverie, and he's taken aback when he feels her hands cupping his cheeks. When did she even get close to him? And why was she so comfortable with casually touching him, knowing who he is? What he is?
Her hands were warm and soft against his skin. It's not something he should be feeling, and yet he did. Too much, in his opinion. Grabbing her wrists, he pulls her hands away from him and grumbles, "It's really not."
Anyone could come up with an idea like that, so he didn't understand why she was acting as though it were something revolutionary.
She didn't seem at all bothered, pulling her hands away from him and standing from the couch, "Rumi and Mira would totally be down for it. Our contracts are actually expiring by the end of the year, and we haven't talked about renewing them yet." She rambles, digging around her pockets for something before pulling some of the throw pillows off the couch.
"And while Rumi doesn't let it show, she's been a little uncomfortable whenever Celine comes around for a visit. Which she's been doing a lot, lately, after the whole Honmoon almost being forever destroyed and life as we know it being threatened by evil no-good demons." She pauses, glancing at Baby for a brief moment, "No offense, or anything."
Something Baby has learned in the few short days that he's spent with Zoey is that she talks. A lot. It reminds him of Romance, and how his former bandmate (friend?) would go on these random tangents about whatever caught his attention that day, be it some new makeup product he found or some gossip he overheard. Baby chooses to ignore the ache of loneliness that crept up on him as he thought of the deceased demon.
She doesn't know when to stop, apparently, because she keeps rambling on and on about this Celine woman up until she finds her phone, which had fallen in between the cushions of the couch.
"Aha!" She holds the phone up in victory for a second before bringing it down and tapping away, "The girls are probably busy right now, what with Rumi's tour and Mira's super badass drama coming up, but things should clear up for the new year… I'll just send a quick text to the group chat," She's mumbling to herself at this point, seemingly forgetting that Baby was still in the room with her.
Not that he minds. Well, he did, but he was… distracted.
His hands come up and cup his cheeks just as Zoey had done. He's not sure what he was expecting to feel, but he found himself disappointed. Zoey's hands had been warm, while his were cold. He's not sure why, but the lack of warmth he felt was starting to bother him. The reason why he was Gwi-ma's favorite was because he wasn't so easily distracted by petty human emotions, so the fact that a simple lack of warmth was bothering him so much… he really is pathetic, huh?
…He needs a cigarette.
"Annnd… sent!" Zoey hums, dropping her phone back on the couch with a satisfied smile, "Anyways, I was thinking of maybe ordering some takeout, do you want…" The idol trails off as she looks up to where Baby was sitting, or rather, where he had been sitting, only to find his seat empty, only a faint pink smoke left in his wake.
"…Guess not," She says to the empty room, an awkward laugh following her words.
———
Baby hadn't meant to poof away, really. But the thought of Zoey seeing him like this, conflicted and… and flustered, made him panic. The emptiness of his apartment greets him as soon as the smoke clears from his vision, and his hands drop from his face.
He exhales a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding before falling face-first onto the couch. His mind was a mess, and the silence in the air did little to help. He misses how noisy this place used to be, with Abby and Romance bickering about little things while Jinu sat in between them trying to read a book, and Mystery sat on the floor flipping through channels on the TV until something caught his attention.
At the time, he only ever wished for peace and quiet. But now that the quiet was actually here, he wished for it to go away. What's that dumb human saying? You never really know what you have until it's gone? It's fitting for his situation. Even though it's been a year and some odd months, the sting of his loss still lingers.
And with it, there's guilt.
He shouldn't be spending time with a hunter, especially one of the ones who had personally killed his friends. He should've killed her when he had the chance.
What would the others think if they saw him acting this way because of a human? A hunter, at that? Given the argument that broke out between them when they all found out about Jinu's little crush on Rumi, he imagines they'd have a similar reaction.
Then again, they all seemed to have their own fascination with the women at the time. The only reason none of them pursued that interest (minus Jinu, because that man had a death wish) was because of the control Gwi-ma had over them.
None of them had been brave or stupid enough to go against the demon king. Not when he could easily turn it around on them, make them hear things. Remind them of the horrors they went through, make them relive every agonizing moment. The solace that only he could provide, if they got their act together and served him dutifully.
It's not something Baby experienced himself, seeing how loyal he'd been to Gwi-ma, but he remembers seeing Jinu go through it. He remembers the man screaming out, covering his ears as if trying to silence something to no avail. It's a scene that Baby should've found amusing, a scene he would have found amusing had the victim been anyone else, but it just made him feel sick.
It still makes him feel sick, even now. The memory of it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. That pain was one of the last things Jinu experienced before he died.
Maybe that was the moment when he realized none of this was worth it. Because surely, if he had been loyal to Gwi-ma, or even just loyal to Jinu, he would've stayed with his bandmates. He wouldn't have fled. He'd be dead, just like the rest of them, instead of trapped here.
It seems his loyalty is not something he's willing to give away so easily. Maybe it had something to do with his human life, blurred memories creeping at the edge of his mind before he shakes them off.
Rolling onto his side, Baby stared at himself through the reflection of the TV. Turquoise eyes were now gold, and even though he still looked human, his patterns could faintly be seen beneath his shirt. His hair was… faded. The vibrant color it had been a year ago was no longer there. It's something he could easily fix with just a simple flick of the wrist, but he didn't.
Maybe it was time for a change.
———
The desire for change was a strong one. It's a feeling he'd been able to ignore in the past, but it seemed as if this one refused to go away. Even as the days went by, it was there, lingering in the back of his mind, waiting for the right moment to strike. It was still there, even as Zoey pulled him around a small beauty store.
He's not even sure how he got here, really. He showed up at the penthouse earlier that evening to give her some half-assed excuse as to why he disappeared last night, and she was suddenly pulling him out and rambling about how she needed to get something, quote unquote, 'very important'.
And he just… followed her, for some reason. He was feeling no better than a dog.
The place wasn't crowded, which might be the reason why Zoey didn't have her mask up to conceal her face, but Baby found himself unconsciously looking around for cameras and prying eyes anyway. A habit he was taught by Jinu. Idols must always be on the lookout, because there's always a camera just around the corner waiting to ruin their career.
To think those stupid lessons of his were starting to show some value.
Zoey came to a stop when she found what she was looking for, and a quick glance at the shelf in front of them told him everything he needed to know.
"Hair dye?" His face scrunches up a bit as he looks at all the products, and Zoey nods once, dropping her hand from Baby's arm to instead pick up a box of blue hair dye.
"Yup! Mira and Rumi have colored hair, and I was thinkin' that maybe I should give it a shot too? My hair's been natural since my debut, and I never dyed it, even when I was a kid. My parents wouldn't let me."
The demon lets out a small hum at her words. He's fairly certain Rumi's hair was her natural color due to her half-demon lineage, but he doesn't comment on it. It was his job to help Zoey better fit into the dark concept for her solo debut, even if it had been pushed back until the new year, so he looked at all the hair dye, thinking about what would best fit Zoey and what would best fit the concept.
And, realistically, it was her natural hair that fit best. Although… he thinks she'd look good with bleached streaks in her hair. It'd give the vibe of an angel in disguise, which, while not dark, it certainly fits into the concept well.
Or, and Baby is leaning more towards this possibility, he's finally losing his mind. He's gone crazy. A year in the human world was enough to make him go insane, because what kind of demon would even have this train of thought? An angel in disguise? Seriously? Is this some cheap novel written by a hopeless romantic?
"What do you think? Does blue fit me?" Zoey holds the box up to her hair, looking at Baby, waiting. He bites the inside of his cheek, deciding to play nice for today.
"No." He plainly responds, taking the box from her and putting it back on the shelf in favor of grabbing a bleach kit, "Bleached streaks would fit best."
Zoey seems to consider his words, staring at the bleach kit he was holding out to her. She'd have to bleach her hair either way if she wanted to dye it, so she was going to get the kit anyway.
"Hm… okay, yeah," She nods a bit, taking the box from him and placing it in the little shopping basket she'd been carrying around with her, "What about you? See anything you might wanna dye your hair with?"
The question caught him off guard, just a bit.
She knows he's a demon, so she knows he could change his appearance at will. He didn't need to dye his hair; he could just change it. Yet she still asked, still treated him as if he were a person. It made him feel… well, it just made him feel. No need to put a label on it when he wouldn't understand it.
Baby finds it hard to look away from Zoey. Even when she tells him to pick something out for himself, he just stares at her. Like she was the center of the universe, and everything would fall apart if he looked away. And maybe it would, because she's the only anchor he has. The only thing that tied him to this world, the only person who knew he was around.
And isn't that just a depressing thought?
"Pick for me," He says, his voice quiet. It was embarrassing, the way she easily made him this way. She didn't even realize it, and that somehow made it worse.
Her brow quirks up just a bit, a teasing smile slowly starting to form, "You sure you wanna give me that kinda power? What if I make you go rainbow?"
"That's fine," His response is so fast that it caught Zoey off guard, judging from the way she seemed to falter just a bit, like she had been expecting some snarky remark or a threat instead. Baby had to bite down on his tongue to keep three words from slipping out.
I trust you, he wanted to say. The words were right there, and it'd be so easy to just let them fall out. But he swallows them, swallows down the taste of blood along with it.
He shouldn't trust her. He doesn't.
And she shouldn't trust him, either.
Only when Zoey looks away from him is he free from whatever strange hold she had on him. He blinks a few times, staring down at the ground as he clears his head. What the fuck was that?
Neither of them says anything as she grabs a box of black hair dye and a box of red hair dye, dropping them both into the basket she was carrying. Baby lets out a small huff, one mixed with amusement and annoyance, though it was hard to decipher which one he truly felt. The colors she chose were so basic, he had honestly expected her to go through with her silly rainbow joke, but she didn't.
The silence follows them even after Zoey's paid for everything and they're back outside. The cold late autumn bordering early winter night greets them, and Zoey shivers just a bit as she pulls up the hood of her thick jacket. She was bundled up in such a way that she resembled a panda bear; meanwhile, Baby was getting weird looks from the people who passed him by, simply because he was wearing nothing but a loose, sleeveless shirt and some jeans.
"Aren't you cold?" Zoey asks after a few more moments of silence, absently swinging the plastic bag that carried the hair dye she bought. Her gaze was glued ahead, like she was nervous to even look at Baby. He can't help but tilt his head a bit at this, a sense of curiosity forming. Was she finally remembering that he was big, bad, and scary?
"Freezing," He lies, rolling his eyes.
He thought it was fairly obvious that the cold didn't bother him. Zoey didn't seem to care either way, because she held her hand out for him.
The tips of her fingers were pink, no doubt from the cold. He can't help but just stare for a moment, torn between ignoring her and making a snarky remark about how she should've worn gloves. But he already told himself he'd be nice for today, so he just sighs and shakes his head a bit before grabbing her hand.
It's so fascinating to him how he can't feel the cold chill of the winter air, but he can feel the warmth of Zoey's palm seeping into his skin. The sensation has him unconsciously squeezing her hand, like he was trying to make sure she didn't try pulling away from him. She lightly squeezed back, as if to reassure him that she wouldn't.
Their fingers were intertwined, and it was a feeling Baby was far too aware of. Zoey didn't seem at all bothered that she was holding hands with a demon, humming a soft tune to herself as they walked together.
This time, Baby can't stop the small smile on his face from forming. Even at the odd glances he received from people passing by, the smile never dropped.
He'll cling to this warmth, just this once.
———
"Isn't it a little late to be doing all of this?" Baby asks. They'd only just gotten back to the penthouse a little over an hour ago, and he usually never stayed this late before. But Zoey had insisted they order takeout and dye their hair tonight, and he found it weirdly hard to say no to her.
Zoey shakes her head, swallowing down her spicy noodles and pointing her chopsticks at him as she speaks, "It's never too late for a makeover."
He didn't agree with her words, personally, but he's assuming this must be a common occurrence between Zoey and the other two, because it looked as if she had the entire night planned out already.
So, Baby stays quiet and absently picks at the food he had been given. As a demon, he didn't need to eat human food to survive. It won't poison him if he does, but it just doesn't provide him with the necessary energy a demon needs, not the way souls do. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn't had a soul in… a while, now. Demons don't starve, but the longer they go without consuming a soul, the weaker they get.
So… technically, it is starvation, actually. It's a bit sad if he thinks too hard on it, though.
It's another form of torture Gwi-ma would inflict on those who were disobedient. Take away their food supply until they're begging for forgiveness.
He must've been staring at his food longer than what would be considered normal, because within a few moments, Zoey's setting her own food down, awkwardly placing her chopsticks down on a napkin next to her plate, "Are you not hungry, or…?"
Her confusion made sense, really. Zoey was trained to hunt demons, and the one demon she held close to her in her life was only partly demon. She only knew what she was taught, and that's not a lot. Demons are evil; demons must die. Not inherently wrong, but still. Her confusion bothers Baby, and he stabs his chopstick down hard enough into a piece of meat that it causes the wood to snap in half.
"I guess it's a feeling similar to hunger, yeah," He mutters, setting the broken chopstick down on the table. Baby wasn't good at explaining how demons functioned. He's never had to before, so he's not quite sure how to word it. He wasn't great at explaining anything, really. Jinu did all the talking, so Baby never had to try.
If he had it his way, he'd snatch Jinu's soul out of wherever the hell he ended up and demand he explain everything to Zoey. But alas, that wasn't possible.
"Oh?" He could hear the curiosity in her tone and could feel her scoot closer to him, a clear indicator that she was interested in whatever he had to say, "I just… assumed that you'd be able to survive off human food like Rumi can. Sorry…"
Her apology, much to his annoyance, sounded genuine. Like it was genuinely her fault for not thinking he could be different from Rumi. In a way, it was. Rumi wasn't fully demon, and she'd been raised by humans. Had she wound up in the hands of Gwi-ma, then maybe that would be different.
With a sigh that feels as if it's practically forced from him, Baby tries his best to explain, "Demons need energy to survive. Energy that can only be found in humans. So, we eat souls to get that energy." He chooses to leave out the part where they only got to eat when Gwi-ma decided they were good. That just seemed pathetic to mention, and he imagined she'd make a bigger deal out of it than he would like, "It's not something you should be worrying about. I won't die, so," He mumbles with a shrug.
Zoey stays quiet for a few minutes. Long enough that Baby honestly thought the conversation had ended, his focus turning elsewhere. But then she's speaking up again, "Is there any other way to get energy, other than eating souls?"
"If you're going to offer sex, then don't." Baby's response is dry and immediate, and it has Zoey choking on her own spit as she quickly scoots away from him, seemingly too aware of their close proximity. The reaction has a slight smile threatening to form on his lips.
"What?! No! No, oh my god, no!" Her words came out quickly, and she let out an awkward laugh with them. She was… far more flustered than he thought she'd be, like the idea of doing such things wasn't something she was entirely against. Or, maybe, very likely, he was reading too much into everything and needed to drop this train of thought.
"Wow, no need to sound so repulsed," The demon says with an eye roll. He wasn't actually annoyed by her reaction, but he liked the way she got flustered. He just couldn't help pressing her buttons, especially since she made it so damn easy.
Zoey stumbles over her words, struggling to come up with a response to him, and Baby just stares at her, his brow slightly quirked up a bit as he leans back on the couch and watches. The longer it takes for her to respond, the redder her face seems to get.
A few deep breaths, and the hunter was speaking up, "Okay, well, I mean, it's not like I'm totally against it or anything, but that's not… that's not what I was going to offer! I just meant, like, vibes… or something, I don't know." Her shoulders slump, and she stares at her hands resting on her lap.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand that she was upset she couldn't help him. Or at least, she was under the impression that she couldn't help.
A very small part of him, a part that he strangely found himself wanting to suppress, wanted to mock her. People-pleaser Zoey can't do anything to help satiate the hunger of a big, bad demon without offering up a soul. Just a year ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to indulge in such cruel words.
But now, he can picture how heartbroken she'd be. He can practically see the pained expression she'd make if he actually spoke those words out loud. That alone was enough to keep his mouth shut, apparently. More than enough, actually, because he found himself wanting to comfort her. She just makes it so difficult to be rude.
With a sigh, Baby sits up and lightly nudges her knee with his own. The motion is enough to get her to look at him, and there's this odd throb in his chest when her eyes meet his.
"Just invite me to your next concert. The energy from your fans will be enough to feed me."
While it won't be as filling as a soul, energy from humans, such as overwhelming excitement and joy, offers up the same effect, but it just doesn't last as long. He'd consumed an abundance of that energy, back when he was a Saja Boy. It's one of the main reasons why he was able to go so long without needing to eat.
Zoey perks up at his words, and she nods, "Well, duh! My next live performance is gonna be for my solo debut, you have to be there when it happens, otherwise I might chicken out."
Her words earn a slight huff from him, and he shakes his head. He doesn't quite believe her. She's been an idol long enough not to get performance anxiety, even on a solo stage. Besides, Mira and Rumi would most certainly be there at the performance as well, so it's not like she needed him around. He's not sure if he'd even want to be around, not with those two.
He can handle Zoey. He likes Zoey as much as he hesitates to admit it. But one hunter is enough for him. His survivor's guilt might not be able to handle all three.
"Yeah, whatever," He brushes her words off, instead opting to change the conversation before he could get too emotional, "Are we still dyeing our hair tonight or what?"
And just like that, Zoey's back to herself.
Baby helps her clean up the takeout, and he follows Zoey's lead when she busts out the bleach and dye. She had insisted that they start with him first, but he'd managed to convince her that it would take less time to bleach her hair than it would to dye his with two colors. Which, it would.
So while streaks of her hair were wrapped in aluminium foil, she was running gloved hands through his hair. Black dye stained the gloves, and the smell of bleach and dye had gotten strong enough that they opted to open the balcony door to air the place out.
They talked about everything and nothing, though Zoey did most of the talking. She told stories of her pre-debut days and talked a lot about how it took her forever to open up to Rumi and Mira. Baby, in turn, told her what little stories he had during his time with the other guys. The stories were enough to get laughs and smiles from her, so the sting of loss didn't feel so bad.
By the time they were finished, it was late in the night. A little after two in the morning, according to Zoey's phone.
He's never stayed this long before, and he finds himself not quite ready to leave yet.
His hair was still damp, the blow-dryer failing to do its job. He finds himself a bit caught off guard whenever he sees his reflection now. Blue hair replaced with black hair, red streaks going through it. It was definitely a little basic, but it looked good on him. It contrasted well with Zoey's bleached streaks, and he found himself struggling to look away from her now. More so than usual, that is.
"I had fun today," Zoey's voice brings Baby out of his thoughts, and he blinks. They were back on the couch, the balcony door still open, and the TV was on. Some drama was playing, something they had put on while they were dyeing their hair. He's not sure what was happening in it, though.
He doesn't verbally respond, just offering up a vague hum. She doesn't seem bothered by it, yawning and stretching before she leans back on the couch.
It's not until she's resting her head on his shoulder that he becomes painfully aware of how close they'd gotten to each other. Her touch confuses him. On one hand, he finds himself repulsed by it. Just the mere idea of contact with another person has him cringing and leaves him with a feeling of disgust. But on the other…
The memory of her hands on his face, her hand interlocked with his, her hands in his hair. They all felt good. Warm. It's a warmth that he's been deprived of for so long, and it leaves him wanting.
Chancing a glance at her, Baby finds that Zoey has closed her eyes. Her breathing had evened out, and she seemed too relaxed to be awake. It almost made him laugh. A hunter sleeping next to a demon. Sounds like the start of a cheesy love story. Still, Baby doesn't move.
His hand comes up, and he gently brushes a strand of hair from her face. His touch lingers, as does his stare. But then his hand falls to his side, and he looks away.
"I had fun, too." He whispers in the quiet, and all he gets in response is a soft exhale.
He leaves before the sun rises.