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It had always been him, hadn’t it?
Every plan, every calculation, every trap we’ve set—all of it was meant to get rid of him, to wash these sins away as he drowns in it.
And yet your eyes have this certain sense of fondness in them when you think of him.
I knew, Fluixon. I’ve stayed by your side for far too long not to recognize even the faintest flicker of softness.
The night before the assassination. We all convened in our hollow and cold bunker beneath the ocean, psyching ourselves up for it and hoping we have enough time to complete the build. One by one, the others went their own ways or maybe hit the sack already. But I stayed. Of course, I stayed with you that night. Double-checking every bit of redstone and shard of dripstone that we needed. Did you ever notice the way my gaze lingers at you for more than a second?
“God, I really hope this works.” You sighed, pressing your fingers into your eyes as you rubbed them, the exhaustion evident in your voice.
I turned back to my list, scratching another item off of it. “It’ll be fine. I checked in with Gotoga when he was still making the blueprints for this. It all comes down to whether we can finish it or not.” My words were steady. Steady enough to reassure you of your plans
But then you smiled. Laughed, even.
“What do you think his reaction will be?” You asked as you pulled your hands away, your voice had that tenderness again.
I smiled back, thin and bitter. “Confused as shit?” I muttered, trying to sound amused.
You look at me with your bright eyes, but it was never reserved for me, was it? Because time and time again…
It had always been him.
And your obsession never faded, even when you became president of Luminara.
I crossed my arms by the side as you stood at the podium with pride and diction in your voice. Every Luminarian’s gaze was drawn to you and trusted you so easily like you were the only one that can guide them after the death of 3Belowzero.
“Fluixon, you’re under arrest!”
Gotoga and I immediately turned around and saw different guards from all of Island 2 flooding into Luminara with their shields flashing their nation’s banners. I wanted to rush in by your side. That was my duty—what I have always done—but Gotoga’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “Don’t,” His voice was low and firm. I looked at him as his eyes focused on you, waiting for your command despite the slight tremble in his grip.
“This is an outrage!” You shouted as the guards tried to get their hands on you and pointed their swords and axes. Naive Luminarians pushed these soldiers away and demanded a fair trial for their new leader.
Amidst the chaos, your eyes met mine.
A cold breeze brushed my face with your steady and commanding voice accompanying it.
“Go to the tunnel. Now.”
Maybe I stood still for a second too long—every instinct in my body told me to run to you. That’s when Gotoga had to snap me out of that moment by yanking me to the direction of the tunnel.
“Flux said go to the tunnel. Then we’re going to the tunnel, Thomas.”
I didn’t turn back anymore. I know you’ll be fine on your own, but of course, I can’t help but worry for even a little bit. When we got there, Gotoga positioned himself by the trap’s trigger to activate it when you went through. I waited at the end of the tunnel; the pounding of my heart matched the worry on my face as sweat began to slide down the side of it.
Loud footsteps thundered close and voices roared closer to the mine. I gripped my sword, whispering a prayer that this plan would hold.
And then you appeared.
You rounded the corner with that smile—the one you wore every time a trap worked exactly as you’d designed. The smile that told me you were fine. And you never knew how it can undo me as easily as I breathe. I returned your smile with my own as my fingers closed around your wrist. I felt your warmth, and the adrenaline coursing in your pulse. I wanted to hold on for a little bit longer.
“Go ahead! I’ll block the path.” My voice came out rougher than I intended it to be. Reluctantly, I pushed you forward to get ahead as I placed blocks behind us to slow the guards down. We might’ve left Gotoga, but you’re safe.
And that, as always, was all that mattered to me—and The Conspiracy. Yeah, The Conspiracy too.
“What was that?” Exasperation evident in my voice while the blocks I placed behind us left a sound that punctuated my words.
“Uhh…That was the whole of Island 2.” You said, catching your breath as you ran. “Every nation: Cass Coalition, Aperion, and Tricolor.” Your voice trembled.
We must’ve missed something. We must’ve slipped somewhere that led the Island 2 leaders onto our trail. We needed to get out of there. We dug out of the surface, breathing in the open air once more. There was no time to stop as we ran towards the sea.
“Is that them?”
“Yeah, it is!”
The voices of the guards rose behind us. We didn’t dare to look back. The sound of their armor rattling, arrows slicing through the air, and our boots along the wet sand. We threw our boats in the water and immediately rowed into the sea.
An arrow struck your boat as the wood cracked. Without thinking, I veered towards you, gripping my sword tight. “I’m right behind you.” I said, steady despite my pulse getting higher at each moment.
“I’ll get them off of you.” I jumped off into the cold water as I slowed them down with my life and yours on the line. I swam under their boats and dismantled them one by one as they fell into the cold depths with me. The dolphin beside me gave me the boost I needed to swim faster than I ever did before.
One by one, the threats disappeared like the shore we fled from. The water was a mess with scattered planks around and a bit of blood that mixed in with the salt from the sea. I got myself into a spare boat and caught up to you, breath ragged, arms trembling. We rowed into the setting sun, away from Luminara, away from Island 2.
We were alive. Tired, soaked, and shivering—but alive.
We soon docked at a nearby forgotten shoreline just as the sun slowly dipped lower into the ocean. I sank down to catch my breath; the grains of sand clung stubbornly to my clothes and skin. My armor slid off with a thud as its weight left my shoulders. You laid down and had your sleeve draped over your eyes, chest rising and falling unevenly.
“Are you hurt?” I asked as I moved to you. You moved your arm away to take a quick peek at me. You looked tired, but the spark in your eyes continued to shine bright as ever.
“I’m fine. Just… what the fuck was that?” You left out a weak laugh and sat up, the sand underneath your palms stuck together—I felt the wind blow right by you.
“We definitely overlooked something,” I muttered, dusting off whatever sand I could. “Is Gotoga fine?”
“Yeah, he just whispered that he barely got out of there.”
I nodded, relieved he was alright. Heavy metal dropped onto the sand as you removed your own armor. The sounds of waves splashing against the shore and our heavy breathing together filled the silence between us. For what felt like eternity, I blurted. “Take your coat off and dry it.” My words came out rougher than they should be. “We’ll hang them up to dry.” I helped you slip out of your coat, hanging it alongside mine at a nearby tree.
The day slowly turned darker and colder. You were unusually quiet and deep in thought, hugging yourself close as you stared at the waves.
“Do you want to stay here for a bit?” I asked. “We could start heading back to base if you want.”
You didn’t respond back. The tides continued to roll in. I sat back down next to you, leaving space between us.
“Flux…” I mumbled, softer than I meant to—than I wanted to.
“I heard he’s at Island 1.” You finally spoke, disappointment curling in my chest, but I kept my expression steady “What do you plan then?” I said, standing up and taking out a few planks out of my inventory to create a small campfire for us. “Do you want us to hunt him down? Put a hit out on him?” I look at you as the fire crackles between us, the orange hue painting your skin.
“I already did. We might have to move out soon.” Your words felt calm and certain.
“Move out?”
The sound of fire continued to pop, sending stray ashes into the air. You stood up, grunting and dusting the sand off of you. And then you smiled, faint but told me you were already one step ahead the entire time.
“I told my sister about our situation and she’s willing to let us stay in Infernus, as long as we set traps around it.”
A humorless laugh slipped from me. “Infernus? Do we even have space there? Didn’t the remaining members of the Commonwealth and Sitzkrieg take refuge there?”
“It’s a massive place and there’s only a few of us,” You place a hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly as my eyes look at it and back at you. I let out a faint breath that I didn’t know I was holding.
“Let’s think of a plan on how to rig it with traps when we get back,” you continued, carrying that same calmness in your voice. “You and me, again.”
You kept that same smile on your face, and I wonder—even for a moment—if it was meant for me this time. Not for the mission, not for Saparata. Just me.
I grasped your hand to move it away. I wasn’t sure if you noticed how gentle I was with it or how I held it for half a second too long before I forced myself to let go. “We’ll head back now and discuss it with the others.”
For a man who’d always been so cold from his actions, your hand was warm against mine.
I wiped the sweat from my brow, the ashes from the volcano filled my lungs, and the screams from everyone on Island 1 against us rang in my ears. I huffed and leaned against the wall of the narrow secret tunnel we prepared in case things go south, a hand on my chest as my heart threatened to escape my ribs. I heard blocks breaking to my left.
And I saw you emerging from it.
You stumbled out of the ashes, burnt and bloodied. My eyes went wide, scanning at your injuries, trying not to let my panic show.
“You look like shit.” I said, trying to lighten the mood as my hands worked to bandage you quickly but with care I couldn’t disguise.
“I’m never swimming in lava again.” You scoffed, biting into the golden apples I gave to relieve the pain. I put my arm around you, holding you by your waist while the apples did their work. We made it to the other side of the volcano as you were good enough to run together. You ran ahead, and I watched your back.
That was until you stopped in your tracks.
The wind shifted, brushing your hair like it was caressing you. I stood there frozen, inhaling deep breaths as I knew what it meant.
“No. No, you can’t be fucking serious.” My voice cracked, rising with rage and anguish. Not now. Not when we could just run away forever. Just me and you.
“We’re going to the colosseum—"
I grabbed your elbow and yanked you back with a force I never used on you before.
“Is that what he whispered? Flux, you… you can’t,” my words spilled out, raw and pleading even. “You’re going to die in that fight. Is that what you want?”
Your eyes told me everything I needed to know. It wasn’t just a fight for you, but also the last time you’ll see him.
I let out a shaky sigh, clenching and unclenching my fists.
“It’d be boring if I just ran away, right?” you spoke, with that maddening hint of fondness. “You know I can’t say no to him.”
“Does he actually matter that much to you? You’re walking to your death, Flux!”
I shouted until my throat burned, hoping—begging—it would get through your thick skull. But you turned around, sword in hand and started walking to the direction of the colosseum, like you didn’t have to think twice.
And at that moment, I knew.
I could fight off mobs, take on both islands to protect you, yet I knew I could never win against Saparata. Even with all the shit we went through— everything we built—you’d still pick him over me.
As your figure walked further away from me, out of touch and out of reach. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing myself to move. One foot in front of the other. Each step toward the colosseum, the more nervous I became. My heart pounded harder as it screamed for me to grab you and run. Just run, and never look back.
I know my place, I always have.
But maybe—just maybe—if I were a bit more selfish, maybe you wouldn’t die to him. Maybe we’d run away from the law together, hated by the world, or rot in a cell side by side. I’d take anything, if it meant you’d live.
You stood there before the arena’s entrance, sharpening your weapons and stocking up on golden apples.
I wish you would care about yourself a little more.
“You got any materials on you, Thomas?” You asked, inspecting your armor as I approached you. “I need to fix the durability before I step in.”
I wish you’d lean on me again. Just once more.
I handed over some diamonds without looking at your eyes. “Is something wrong?” You asked instantly. You always noticed, it makes me sick that you do.
I wish you’d think about me more.
“Thomas?” I cupped your face—gently, tenderly—despite my calloused hands. My chest ached with the weight of all the words I’ll never get to say.
Can I be selfish, Flux? Just this once.
I leaned in and kissed the corner of your lips. Not directly, never directly. Because I know it’s not for me to claim. It wasn’t mine to deserve at all.
And you let me kiss you. You let me trace soft kisses across your cheek, down to your jaw, before I forced myself to stop. Your violet eyes met mine, and for the love of god, please—stop looking at me like that now. Like you still want me to stay.
“I guess I’ll see you on the other side?” I let out a humorless laugh while my trembling fingers pulled away.
But before I could, you grabbed my wrist, gentler than I expected, and then you kissed it. You kissed it while continuing to look at me with that same infuriating calmness. Since when were you so shameless?
“I’ll see you, Thomas.” You murmured before letting go of me, turning to face the arena.
I didn’t follow. Not this time.
I walked to the audience side and saw a small crowd forming, watching too. I stood further away from them and watched as you and Saparata faced each other down below. The tension was thick as I drowned out the noise.
Then a soft breeze brushed my hair, the same one as before. I heard your words, clear and distant.
“Thank you for everything.”
I let out a small laugh as your blade met his again and again. The clash of steel echoed throughout the colosseum. Arrows shot through the air as they stuck into the stone walls.
Why can’t you tell me that directly, Flux?
Why’d you have to thank me for staying with you in the shadows when all you ever chased for was the light that he gave?
The fight went on as continued to exchange hits with him. Saps moved like a force of nature as your violet eyes burned with that familiar stubbornness I used to stare into. I steeled myself whenever you got injured at every cut and stumble you faced. For a moment, I hoped you’d win. But it was too futile to start hoping now.
And there it was. The last strike that pierced your armor. Your body fell slowly onto the dusty and blood-soaked floor of the colosseum.
Saparata stood over you, chest heaving. His white clothes now stained red from your blood and his like a twisted bond I can never be a part of. The crowd cheered for his victory but that wasn’t what I focused on. I watched you, lying there, your hand twitching once before going still and cold. I got down to the arena, placing water to soften my fall. I approached Saps with an unreadable expression. He looked at me with exhaustion in his eyes, but his blade was still raised.
“Thomas,” he breathed, like a warning. But it didn’t stop me. I walked past him, brushing his shoulder to make him stumble back. The silence between said everything—every unspoken word and feeling settled in this arena. I crouched down beside you. Your violet eyes that used to be full of mischief and stubbornness, stared at nothing now, the light slowly faded from them. My chest tightened.
“What did he look like,” I murmured to Saps, feeling him hover over me, “before he died?”
He didn’t respond immediately. Only his shallow breaths filled the space between us.
“He was smiling at me.” He murmured, almost reverent.
That answer was more than enough.
I laughed, softly and almost broken. Because after everything, Flux…
It had always been him.
Saparata crouched down, his movements unsteady because of fatigue, and carefully picked up Flux’s body into his arms. I watched in silence, feeling useless for once. When he finally stood, he looked at him—longingly, desperately—it was the same way I used to stare at Flux when no one was watching. But there was a difference. In Saparata’s gaze, it was grief by a love that was reciprocated. In mine, it was nothing but longing.
His blood, Flux’s blood, dripped down from Saps’ arms and onto my hands like some kind of joke the world is mocking me for.
He turned to leave, carrying Flux’s body and walked to the arena’s exit. I forced myself to stand, my legs shaking as I call out, my voice coming out hoarse.
“Hey.” He stopped walking.
“Did you…” I swallowed hard, each word having more weight than usual, “did you ever love Fluixon?”
The silence punctuated the difference and distance between us. Saps turned his head to look at me, his expression, faint and peaceful, with slight pity in his eyes.
“I did,” he paused, looking at Flux in his arms, smiling weakly. “Even after everything.”
Even after everything
The words looped in my head like a curse, echoing with every beat of my heart.
Two people lost a friend that day. Two people lost their greatest love.
But only one had been loved in return. And the other would spend the rest of his life haunted by it.
Because in the end, it had never been me.