Work Text:
Jon
As many as I darn well pleased, Basira!
(general horrified gasps)
Jon
Sometimes a man gets hungry!
Jon
(awkward, scared) … Uh…
Basira
JON! How MANY?!
Jon
(hurried) … I plead the right to remain silent.
Basira
JON!
Jon
(squeaked, panicked) I… I want my lawyer!
Basira
JON!
Jon
(audibly crossed arms) Once a cop, always a cop. I want my lawyer.
Basira
(long sigh)
Jon
(embarrassed) Can we not talk about it? It’s kind of… awkward?
Jon
(nervous) … Is there an acceptable answer to this or am I in trouble regardless?
Jon
(sounds of jumping to his feet and making a break for the door)
(sounds of general scuffling)
Melanie
DOWN JON, DOWN!
(sounds of struggle)
Jon
(gasping) P-please, let me go!
Basira
Um, no.
Jon
(awkward, nervous) Welp. Guess I’m out of here. Bye!
(racing footsteps)
(tackling sounds)
(sounds of struggle)
Jon
(whimpering) This isn’t fair! I’m missing two ribs!
(breaks down coughing)
Jon
(hungrily) Not enough. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get myself some lunch.
Jon
(hungrily) X.
Basira
(somewhat confused) … X?
Jon
(hungrily) Yes.
Basira
(cold anger) … And what exactly is that even supposed to mean?
Jon
(hungrily) Want to make it X + 1? Because that can be arranged.
Jon
(pleading) Helen said it was okay! Helen said it was okay! Blame her!
Jon
(breaking down in tears) I was just so hungry I'm sorry
Jon
(hesitant) … Would you believe me if I told you it was just the one?
Jon
(haughty) Excuse me, I'm the one who asks the questions in this archive!
Jon
(tearful) M-Martin left it?
Basira
Answer the question, Jon.
Jon
(tearful) 5, sure -
(general horrified gasps)
Jon
(undeterred) - but…. Martin? Can I see him? Where is he?
(breaks down crying) I miss him so much!
Jon
(to himself, annoyed muttering) I never thought of Martin as a narc. I guess even the Eye can miss things sometimes
Jon
(shouting down the hall) Martin! So you won't talk to me but you'll sic our colleagues, two of whom are ex cops and the third an ex agent of the slaughter, on me? Wow! Just wow! That's cold!
Jon
(hesitant) Um…well…you see…sometimes when an Eye Avatar gets hungry they've got to, uh, get statements and…
(quietly) Feed