Work Text:
Jon
Yes, Martin, I’m coming.
Elias
(confused) Hey, Jon, wait -
Jon
(angry growl)
(rustling sound)
Daisy
(impressed) Nice Jon, you show him that finger
(rustling sound implying that she too is joining in)
Jon
Everyone, wait! We can’t kill him, sure, but we can torment him until he wishes he was dead, right?
Daisy
(intrigued) Hmm, I like that plan.
Melanie
(audible smirk) Ooh, goodie.
Martin
(nervous) Hey, uh, maybe we don’t… maybe we don’t, like, uh -
Jon
(calmly) Martin. I almost got killed because of this man today. Look at my throat.
Martin
(concerned gasp)
(resolved) I’ll go get a knife from the kitchen
(quietly) Then I’ll go get you a bandage, you poor thing.
Jon
Um, I don’t think I want to be left alone with this murdering creep, especially not in my current weakened and injured state? Can someone stay with me maybe?
Martin
I-I’ll stay, Jon.
Jon
(grateful) Thank you, Martin. It really is appreciated.
Jon
(annoyed) Whatever you have to say you can say it front of everyone
Elias
(annoyed sigh) That isn’t true, Jon
Jon
(exasperated sighing) Oh? And what is so important that they can’t hear it?
Elias
(audible smirk) Okay I think I’ll just start listing off all the times you’ve done things in the office you wouldn’t want the others to know about.
Jon
What.
Elias
(smug) Oh, Jon. I Know everything that goes on here. Everything that’s happened when you stayed late nights. All the embarrassing little things you’ve done. The things you’ve eaten straight from the container standing in the open fridge door in the breakroom at night. The times that it was these late night scroungings that left you very ill with food poisoning the next day though you claimed it ‘must have been a bad restaurant.’ The clothing, or lack of, that you’ve slept in. The places you’ve slept. The notebook that you keep hidden where you have notes about how you truly feel about a certain archival assistant -
Jon
(interrupting, audible furious blush) SHUT IT ELIAS!
Martin
(very intrigued) Hmm?
Jon
(audible furious blush) N-nothing, Martin. N-nothing at all.
Elias
(audible smirk) So, Jon. Would you rather continue this conversation with or without your colleagues in the room?
Jon
(exasperated sigh) Fine. But I expect another week off, fully paid.
Elias
(audibly raised eyebrow) Jon. You literally just spent months off.
Jon
(furious) Hiding from murder charges for a murder that you committed!
Elias
(audible shrug) Not my problem. You still took the time off work