Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The gays™️

Bartemius: where are yous my timetables so shit wtf

Reggie weggie: When do you have history??

And I'm at the back of the hall

Bartemius: First thing Tuesday 

Reggie weggie: fuck we're in different classes

Evan escence: stfu I've literally only got English with you and Cas I'm gonna kms

Dora the explorer: Maybe it won't be so bad!!

Evan escence: just cause you've got either Reg or Xenophilius in every class

Castle: Reg I'm in your history 

Istg mine is so bad wdym I've got maths first on a Monday 

Bartemius: See i wouldn't be having that Cas xoxo

Evan escence: help omg I have chemistry rn

By myself 

Dora why did you drop ittttt

Dora the explorer: sorryyyyy

I'm sure you'll find someone to talk to

Castle: good luck guys 

History time reg!!

Reggie weggie: thank god

~~~

"Evan right? Mind it I sit with you?"

"Yea I don't mind."

Oh yea this will definitely be so much fun, it's not like Evan didn't like James Potter. He's just never spoke to him before, and he doesn't intend on starting now. 

"How was your summer?"

Oh my gosh, why does this guy have to be so chatty.

"It was good, how about you??" Hold on, why is he sitting with Evan? There's plenty of people James talks to in this class and every single one of them hates Evan.

"Mine was great! I didn't know you took chemistry, it's good to have someone that's not a total cunt to sit next to for a change."

"What I thought you liked those people." Right, James is way too quick to like people. They've never spoke until now but he's acting like they've been friends for ages.

"Oh god no! I've no idea why they talk to me honestly. For someone reason they like my friends even though they're so homophobic. I don't get it. Sorry do you have a pen I can borrow?" 

So many words in so little time. The craze that is James Potter. How does this guy survive.

"Yea I do." Evan grabbed his bag from the floor and started rummaging in his front pocket for a pen, he really should organise this. "Here, I know it's weird they leave yous alone but will happily shout slurs at anyone else."

"Thanks! Where the fuck is this teacher, anyways can I get your number?"

"Sure, hold on I'll get it."

~~~

So maybe chemistry wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. He's got someone nice to sit next to, who's also cute. Haha what must've been the wind!!

James

James: Hey!!!

Hiii

You okay??

James: yup 

Just wanted to ask if you're busy on Thursday?

I was thinking we could go to that coffee shop down the road and do hw or smt??

Yea sure I'm free then

James: fab can't wait!

The gays™️

Evan escence: Help

Reggie weggie: No thanks <3

Dora the explorer: What is it??

Evan escence: guess who I'm sitting with in chemistry 

Reggie weggie: who??

Evan escence: James Potter.

See its not a bad thing 

but

he asked for my number which is fine but now he's asked me to go for coffee

Bartemius: omg you what now

Castle: what

Please tell me you said yes 

he actually seems nice

Dora the explorer: yesss! That'd be so cute oh my gosh

Evan escence: yea I said yes

For some reason

Reggie weggie: Evans got a date oml what's going on 

Castle: stop if yous date we can go on double dates 

Bartemius: ho

You could already go double dates with me and reg tf

Castle: Yea but I don't like yous

Evan escence: its not a date wtf

Its not like that

Dora the explorer: does James know it's not like that??

Reggie weggie: No, he's defo in love

Bartemius: yea

Right I need to threaten him

Evan escence: Kys

James

James: you still up?

Yea 

James: oh fab I'm so bored

Can't get to sleep

I've not even tried to sleep woops

James: oh my gosh it's 1am 😭 

That's not even that lateeee

James: sureeeee

What you up to anyways 

Listening to music

I'm making another playlist cause why not

James: oh cute

What kinda music you like??

Rock and metal mostly

Gotta blame barty for the metal but Reg keeps trying to put me onto emo shit </3

James: oooo fabulous 

Quite like a bit of rock

Never really listened to any metal tho

What is it you like then??

James: depends on the day

Love a bit of Fleetwood mac and bowie

And abba 

Sirius keeps judging me and Peter for liking abba 

Omg he's crazy how can you not like abba

Me and Dora did dancing queen last time we did karaoke 

James: stop I need to see that

Too bad I don't have a videooo

James: liar you totally have one

Okay maybe I do but it's never seeing the light of day 😭 

James: fair enough lmao 

Would tell you to listen to metal but I'm not too sure you'd like it

James: who knows I might 

You should give me recs

I'll make a playlist for you :)

James: oooo thanks!!

Cant wait :D

Now go to sleep I'll send you it in the morning

James: aye aye captain 🫡

The gays™️

Evan escence: Help I like him I think

Chapter Text

The gays™️

Reggie weggie: dw we know

Castle: yea you never talk to anyone it's not hard to work out

And he's exactly your type 

Evan escence: Stfu I do speak to people

Reggie weggie: who??

Don't say us

Evan escence: fair point

XENOPHILIUS 

I TALK TO HIM SOMETIMES

Dora the explorer: that's different Ev he's my boyfriend you have to talk to him

Evan escence: okay so maybe I don't talk to people but he's not exactly my type

Castle: So tall, nice, funny and chatty isn't your exact type?? 

And we know he's pan soooo

You defo have a chance, anyways he likes you

Bartemius: he defo does

Now go to sleep yous woke me up

Evan escence: sorry grandpa ig I'll just go kms 

Bartemius: thanks <3

~~~

James 

James: morning!! Ik it's only 6 but I'm up anyways and I thought I should make you a playlist too so here ya go

Link is in the notes

Jesus you get up so early 

But thanks!! Hold on lemme find it I finished making yours at like 3 or smt 

James: omg how do you actually function

Here it is

Again link is in the notes

I'll give yours a listen later on

James: fab!! 

Yours is getting listened to in English cause my teacher could not give less of a fuck istg

Lmao love that

My English teacher hates me I swear

Me, Dorcas and Regulus got moved after like 10 mins 

We weren't even talking that much

James: Jeez

Was it Mr Wilson 

He's always in a mood 

Yea it was

Hate him

Who is it you have??

James: Miss Scott

She's so nice I swear

Omg she is

I love her

James: Same

Gutted we don't have chemistry today </3

Can't sit and have a little gossip with you

Dw I'm sure you'll live

Surely you've got one of your pals in smt

James: yea but that's differentttt

Anyways I need to go pick up Peter rn

Lucky cunt I forgot you can drive

Have fun

James: Bye Ev!!!

Byeee

The gays™️

Evan escence: omg omg omg omg help

Bartemius: Evan my darling, sweetheart, apple of my eye

It is 7.30 am

What could you possibly need help with

If you had a dream about me I'm more than happy to help tho 😊❤️

Evan escence: Ew no stfu

He called me Ev

Nearly screamed

Reggie weggie: where do you want your wedding to be I'll get it booked for yous

Evan escence: Shut up I'm being serious

Reggie weggie: so am I 

He likes you

Castle: yea he wouldn't start randomly talking to you unless he likes you

Evan escence: omg and see the playlist he made me

It's got oh darling by the beatles

AM I READING TO FAR INTO THIS WTF

Dora the explorer: hold on

He made you a playlist?

Evan escence: yea we were talking about music so we made playlists for each other

Reggie weggie: and you don't think he likes you -_-

Evan escence: Obviously not why would he

Bartemius: oh evan...

Evan the light of life

You're such a fucking idiot

Castle: he's right for once how tf do you not see it

Bartemius: Erm excuse you???

Dora the explorer: and you like him yea?

Evan escence: yea I think so

I literally just met him tho 

I really shouldn't

Reggie weggie: you're good at judging people tho

I'd trust yourself on this one

Maybe say to him when yous go out

So you've got a couple days to think it over

Evan escence: how tf are you so wise

Castle: It's all the romance books he reads

Reggie weggie: I DO NOT

GO SNOG MARLENE OR SMT 

Bartemius: dw guys he got all his wisdom from me 😇

Dora the explorer: whatever helps you sleep at night...

Dora the explorer: Reg I'm waiting for you outside art

Reggie weggie: okay I'll only be a min

Evan escence: quit making out and go to art

Reggie weggie: we weren't even shut up

Bartemius: We were guys xoxo

Reggie weggie: I want a divorce

Castle: not this again </3

☆Cas☆

Barty: cas ml

☆Cas☆: yea??

Barty: do you have James number

☆Cas☆: No but I can get it

You're not gonna threaten him are you??

Barty: no dw he's fine

I just wanna play match maker

They'd be so good together 

But I don't wanna be telling Ev to go for it if James is just being friendly

I don't want him getting hurt 

☆Cas☆: aww look at you being sweet

I'll ask marls for it rn

Barty: thank Cas <3

☆Cas☆: here Phone number

Barty: LOVE YOU DARLING

☆Cas☆: LOVE YA TOO BATS

~~~

James Potter

Unknown: Hi

James Potter: who's this??

Unknown: Barty

James Potter: ohhh okay!

Are you alright??

Barty: I just wanted to ask you a couple questions

James Potter: okay on you go

Barty: why are you randomly talking to Evan?

James Potter: Cause he seems nice??? 

I'm so confused rn

I just like talking to him

Barty: right okay 

Why though?

James Potter: Wdym why??

I'm not trying to be a dick to him if that's what you think

Barty: no dw ik you're not like that

Most of the time

I just don't want you leading him on

James Potter: I wouldn't??

Wait what

Does he like me???

Oh my gosh 

Barty: I've got no idea 

But I think you like him

Sooo

James Potter: maybe I do maybe I don't 

Is that all you want??

Barty: yea but you didn't really answer 

James Potter: Right

Maybe I do

But don't say anything to him 

Barty: no I wouldn't do that dw 

Anyways you should make a move

James Potter: okay then

Thanks I suppose!!

~~~

☆Cas☆

Barty: we were so right

☆Cas☆: we always are :)

~~~

James

James

James: yea??

Do you do history?

James: Yea how come

This essay is so bad

Reg and cas haven't done it yet </3

James: When's it due

Monday

We're just back and I already have shit to do oml

James: I'll help you with it on Thursday when we're out if you still wanna go

Yea ofc

Thanksss

James: no problem!!!

How was you day??

It was fine

We don't talk about pe tho

James: surely it wasn't that badd

Reg never does pe right

And he's the only one i talk to in that class

So I thought fuck this I'm not doing it

They gave me detention 🙄

James: ffs

You've literally been in for 2 days

Already got a detention </3

If you never do it they give up eventually 

That's what moony and Pete done last year

Yea I'm gonna do that

Like it really doesn't matter if I do pe tf

James: tbf I love it but if you don't like pe it is actual hell

Yea

The amount of times I've been battered with footballs and shit

It's so bad

James: wait were you the one last year that got a basketball to the face and had a black eye??

Stop I forgot about that

Actually horrific 

James: I didn't realise that was you 😭 

It was remus that threw it

That was the last time he did pe

Don't blame him that'd be me done to

Mind when they made us do fucking table tennis

Barty kept sending them across the hall

Istg he bashed in like 100 balls

James: don't even I remember that

I mind I got hit in the face by one once

Was prolly him 💀 

Would've been yea 😭 

Wait how's you day been I just realised I never asked back

James: good!!

Listened to that playlist 

Defo being put onto metal I actually quite like it

Oh yayy I'm so glad

What was your fav??

Ghosts my fav band so I'm biased

James: oooo wait probably Can't Lose you

Quite liked that 

Ooo fab

I listened to yours too

James: did you like it??

Yess

Loved it

Tbf I already liked abba but the rest was so good

Modern love was probably my fav

I really don't listen to Bowie enough

James: you can never listen to Bowie enough 🙏

Fair enough I suppose 

What you up to??

James: gonna go for a little walk then come back and do my hw

Oh lovely

Enjoy your walk!!

James: thanks!!

What are you doing???

Gonna make brownies with Dora 

James: nicee

Yous have fun!!

Thanks you too!!

~~~

"Dora!! Stop reading my texts!"

"Oh my gosh calm down I'm just trying to prepare my wedding speech." She moved away from his shoulder and went to get out a bowl.

"Shut up."

"You better get with him or I'll go insane." 

"Wouldn't make much of a difference then would it." Evan put his phone back I'm his pocket while he opened the fridge getting out all their ingredients.

"You're so mean Ev." She fake rolled her eyes at him. "Now focus on these brownies and stop dreaming of James!"

Chapter Text

James

James: Hey I'm just back from my walk lmk when your not busy

I'm free

We finished making brownies not long ago

They don't look too good but they taste nice so it's fine

How was your walk??

James: it was great thanks!!

Love a brownie they're so good

Same

I'll bring you some tmrw if you want we made loads anyways

James: that would be great thanks!!

Anyways I just wanted to ask if you and your pals wanna come to mines for Halloween 

If you don't have any plans 

Idk if marlene already said to dorcas about it or not but yea

It's not a big party or anything

Oh thanks!!

That sounds great

Cas hasn't said anything so I'm not sure if she knows

But we've not got plans anyways!

James: brilliant !!

Still no idea what I'm even going as

We've gone through about 100 ideas

That's so real

Barty keeps saying he should be the lorax and we can all be trees 💀 

James: Yk what atleast it's creative I suppose

He'd make a good onceler but

Stop I see it

You're so right

James: Sirius and remus already decided they're being Bowie and Freddie mercury 

No idea what the girls are doing

That's such a them thing

Love it

I'm sure Dora and Xenophilius were being alice and the mad hatter

Unless they've chanced their minds

James: oh my gosh that's so cute

You'd make a good pirate

Ooo wait that's such a good idea

I might actually do that

James: you so should

I was thinking maybe a cowboy 

But I fear that's too basic

Bro how is that more basic than a pirate

James: fair pointtt

hold on I'll be back my mums shouting on me

Okay byee

James: byeee

~~~

The gays™️

Evan escence: Hey Queens

We're invited to a Halloween party at James's

Bartemius: aw that's so nice of your bf!!

Castle: Omg I forgot to say about that

Evan escence: yea he said marlene might have said to you

Castle: She did I forgot to say 😭 

Dora the explorer: oooo yay we get to meet your boyfriend!!!

Evan escence: speaking of tell Xeno he's invited too

Dora the explorer: will do :D

Reggie weggie: omd your bf is a Saint

What are we being

Evan escence: got told I'd be a good pirate 

Bartemius: omg me and reg could me your mermaid and siren

Reggie weggie: as long as your the mermaid yas

Evan escence: stop we're gonna serve such cunt

Castle: that's so weird I've never seen you say that before

Evan escence: yea it didn't feel right

Oh well

Dora the explorer: what are you and Marlene going as Cas??

Castle: she's being jd I'm being Veronica 

Bartemius: love that

No dead girl walking at the party!!

Evan escence: Dora are you and Xenophilius still being alice and the mad hatter

Dora the explorer: yea we are!!

Reggie weggie: Yous are gonna look so good istg

Castle: They so will

It's such a them costume 

Dora the explorer: ik we thought it would be so perfect 

Also Ev tell your lover we say thanks

Evan escence: Shut up

I'll say thanks for yous tho

~~~

James

They say thanks and that they'd love to come!!

James: great I'm glad

Marlene did say to Cas she just forgot to tell us lmao 

Also the pirate is happening

Got Barty being a mermaid and Reg being a siren

No idea how he's doing a mermaid but oh well 

James: oh love that

Yous will look great I bet

Know what Dorcas and Marlene are gonna be??

They're being jd and Veronica

James: I've never seen heathers somehow but the songs are so good

Oh my gosh have you not even seen the movie??

James: I didn't know there was one????

WHAT

WE'RE SO WATCHING THEM BOTH

James: AYE AYE CAPTAIN 🫡

~~~

The Huzz

Reg

Reg

Reguluso

Reggie

REGULUS

The Huzz: YES BEE

How do I make a mermaid sexy

The Huzz: tf you don't???

But I need to

The Huzz: erm no

The sirens the sexy one

You're meant to be cute 

Nah wtf

Why did I agree to this

I'm supposed to be sexy >:(

The Huzz: want me to get out my tiny violin??

Fuck you

I'll figure out how to make a mermaid sexy by myself ig 🙄

The Huzz: you do that

~~~

Bartemius: guys I found my costume

Reggie weggie: oh god help me

Evan escence: christ

Bartemius: 

How sexy is this

Reggie weggie: this is it

I'm gonna kms

DO NOT COME NEAR ME IN THAT

Evan escence: oh

Maybe he can pull it off??

Reggie weggie: Be so fr 

Absolutely not

Castle: I mean it's very barty ig???

Bartemius: Thanks cas knew I could count on you 🥰🥰🥰

Dora the explorer: its definitely gonna make you stand out!!

Bartemius: See you get it Dora

Reggie weggie: NOT IN A GOOD WAY

Bartemius: seriously tho what about blue shiny trousers a shirt and loads of jewelry and shit

And like scales makeup

Reggie weggie: yea that'll be nice

Evan escence: yess there you go Bat

We're gonna look so hot

Dora the explorer: gonna be such icons

~~~

Bat 💋‼️

Bat💋‼️: Ev

My darling 😻😻

What is it pookie 🥰🥰

Bat💋‼️: your dates Thursday ya

It's not a date

But yea

Bat💋‼️: are you so excited 

I guess??

Bat💋‼️: you need to give me like all the details

Down to the second

What are you gonna wear

Shit I didn't think about that

Bat💋‼️: are yous going straight out or home first 

Prolly straight out

I've no idea tho

I hope so then I don't have to pick an outfit 💀 

Bat💋‼️: have you thought about if you're gonna tell him you like him 🤭

Not decided yet babes😔💔

Bat💋‼️: lmk when you do 🥺🥺🥺

Dw I will 😋

Bat💋‼️: we're getting yous set up at this party regardless 

Dw I'll make sure yous get a little alone time 🤭😻

Stfu 😍😍

We can only hope so 🤞

Bat💋‼️: Anyways you busy whore??

Nah

Bat💋‼️: then join the gc call

Okay then slut 🙄❤️

Chapter Text

The gays™️

Bartemius: RISE AND SHINE PEOPLE

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL WEDNESDAY MORNING

Evan escence: bat ml it is 3am

Bartemius: yea ik 

Evan escence: you okay??

Bartemius: not really

Evan escence: Call me x

Bat💋‼️ is calling

B: Heyyyy

E: What happened??? Want me to come get you and you can stay here??

B: no it's fine, I'll be fine

E: are you sure?? I don't mind I can come get you 

B: yea I'm sure my dad left anyway

E: I take it he did something??

B: he found out about me and Reg

E: oh bat I'm so sorry, are you okay??

B: yea I'm fine he just went off his nut, went through my phone when I was sleeping then woke me up to scream at me

E: Christ he's fucking horrible, you hurt??

B: no he just slapped me then fucked off. Sorry for bothering you Ev, I wouldn't have but Reg wasn't answering his phone I needed to talk to someone 

E: it's fine you know you're never a bother

B: what are you doing you're moving an awful lot

E: putting on shoes I'm coming to get you

B: Ev you really don't have to

E: I know but I want to, get ready I'm gonna leave in a minute 

B: okay, thanks Evan

E: anytime

B: will you stay on the phone while you walk??

E: yea of course 

~~~

The Huzz 

The huzz: Bee I'm so sorry

My phone was on silent

Are you okay 

What happened 

I'm so so so sorry

I forgot to turn my notifications back on

Dw about it Reg it's fine

My Dad found out

I'm fine though

Ev came for me so I'm at his and Dora's rn

The Huzz: thank fuck

I got the fright of my life there

Are you okay though seriously??

I'm sorry about your Dad

Yk you can always come stay with my and Kreacher 

Thanks <3

But yea I'm alright he just screamed at me then left

The Huzz: oh my gosh

I swear to fuck I could kill him

Can't have you going to jail now can we darling??

The Huzz: i wouldn't get caught x

~~~

James created a group

James added 7 people

James named the group "Halloween!!"

James: Evan can you add your friends please I don't have their numbers

Evan: yea two seconds

Evan added 5 people

James: Hey!!!

Xenophilius: Hiya :D

Marlene: stop is my little whore here

Barty: yes I am slut 

Marlene: omg I missed you diva

Barty: missed you too

Cas banned us from double dates

Marlene: naurrr why

Barty: she hates me and Reg now </3

Marlene: Cas why would you do this to us

Barty: ik Cas you're so evil

She said she wanted us dead and everything

Dorcas: I literally didn't??

Marlene: how could you 💔

Pandora: dw cas me and Xeno will replace them when they die

Xenophilius: yes ofc!! It'll probably be sooner rather than later

Barty: you what now

Regulus: wtf

Evan: dw guys I'll run your joint funeral x

Barty: really baby 🥺

Evan: yea ofc pookie 🥰

Barty: will you smoke my ashes sweetheart🤭🤭

Evan: anything for you babes 😘

Marlene: bounce on it crazy style

Barty: DAMN RIGHT DIVA

Regulus: Ugh me when Ev and Dora's dad </3

Evan: STOP NOT THIS AGAIN

Dorcas: no don't even

I'm a lesbian and even ik your Dad's fine

Pandora: 😰

Regulus: thanks Cas

Lily: I fear that's not what this gc was for 😧

Marlene: we're bonding xoxo

The really question is is their Mum fit too

Dorcas: SHE IS

Barty: She's so nice too omg

Made me coffee this morning 

Nearly cried

Regulus: she is such a saint

Makes you wonder how Ev turned out so bad

Evan: omd what have I ever done to you

Regulus: you were born <3

Dorcas: ladies stop your fighting you're both pretty 🙄

Sirius: HELP

I LOVE YOU OMFG

Dorcas: 😬😬

Marlene: HAHSAHAHA

CAS OMG

Dorcas: sorry who are you Series??

Peter: STOPPP YOU'RE SUCH AN ICON

Sirius: 😐

James: Anyways guys

Are we so excited 

Mary: Yep!!! X

Peter: Ofccc

Evan: did you decide what you're being??

James: Yesss

I'm being the joker and Petes being batman

Evan: cutee

He better be tryna fight you all night

Peter: oh dw I will

Dorcas: Barty you should drop your costume

Regulus: we don't talk about that...

Barty: you're just a hater

Xenophilius: that would suit you!!

Sirius: well its definitely something 

Regulus: dw he's not actually wearing that

Barty: but it's so hot

EVAN

SWEETHEART 

WOULDNT I LOOK SO HOT

Evan: yea ofc you would

Barty: see Ev agrees

Regulus: he's a liar tho

Pandora: it's okay tho if he's lying to make someone feel better <3

Barty: Evans the only real one 🙄

Marlene: dw you'll defo look sexy in that 

To someone

Barty: thanks 🥺🥺

James: oml I forgot you were being a mermaid 

Barty: stop Reg said I should be the mermaid and I was like yea fab

But then he tells me I can't make a mermaid sexy???

The betrayal

Regulus: stop the sirens the sexy one 

You're just meant to be cute

Dorcas: hate to break it to yous but i think the pirates meant to be the sexy one

Evan: this is why I love you

Barty: OMG STOP TELLING OTHER PEOPLE YOU LOVE THEM

CHEATER

Evan: STOP ACCUSING ME OF STUFF

Peter: hold on

Are yous dating

I thought Regulus and Barty were dating

Regulus: who even is Barty

Barty: yea idk a Regulus

Evan: yea they're dating 

Barty: Ev's my side piece tho 😘

Evan: sure 🥰

Sirius: okay then

Thats definitely something 

Marlene: just incase Regulus leaves him yk

Regulus: Nah for WHEN I leave him

Barty: everyone out to get me today 🙄

Xenophilius: dw I'm not

Barty: you were wishing I would die earlier

Xenophilius: my bad ig I am out to get you :]

~~~

Marauders 

Padfoot: why are they even coming??

Prongs: Cause their friends with Marls' girlfriend 

Wormtail: and cause James has a massive crush on Evan

Moony: yea that's the main reason

Padfoot: that's so random

Why him

Prongs: he's so nice

Padfoot: sureeee

I don't think anyone friends with Barty and Regulus can be that nice 

Moony: yk he's nothing like when yous still stayed together

Didn't he move out??

Padfoot: did he??

Moony: I'm sure he did 

I remember someone telling me he did

Wormtail: yea he did 

I remember Pandora telling me

Padfoot: oh I didn't know that 

Prongs: see tbf Barty seems alright

Padfoot: how many times has that guy beat someone up??

Wormtail: it's usually only the cunts

Padfoot: okay fair enough ig

Chapter Text

The Huzz

The Huzz: you're staying at mine tonight 

???

The Huzz: you're not going back there

Even if you go to Ev and Dora's 

But you can't go back there

I'll be fine Reg

The Huzz: ik but I'd rather you not go back there incase it gets worse

I can take care of myself yk

The Huzz: I know that Bee

I'm just worried 

I appreciate that you care but I've been fine until now 

The Huzz: yea but he didn't know you were gay

He'll probably just ignore it dw

The Huzz: fine

Will you stay on the phone with me atleast tonight??

Yea ofc love <3

The Huzz: thanks x

~~~

Halloween!! 

Mary: What time are we meant to come at

Marlene: My queen it's still days away

Mary: god forbid a girl needs to plan her day 🙄

Peter: was it not meant to be 7??

James: yea 7

Mary: okay fab

Pandora: okay!! ^-^

Mary: oh my gosh

Pandora

Your hair is so cute today 

Pandora: Awh thank you!!

I forced Reg to do it

He's so good at hair 

Mary: Ooo wait you wouldn't expect that

Pandora: no you really wouldn't 

he does Cas' braids too

And dyes Bartys hair

Mary: Jeez this guy is like a whole hair salon

The fact he can do braids is crazy btw

Dorcas: don't even he's so good at it

Saves me a fortune so he does

Mary: Honestly the most shocking thing I've heard today

Regulus: it's quite fun tbf

Barty: He's good at hair until he gets green dye in your eye 😐

Regulus: THAT WAS CAUSE YOU MOVED

Barty: I CALL MY EYEWITNESS TO THE STAND

Evan: YOUR HONOR HE DID NOT MOVE 

Regulus: You're such a traitor

Mary: surely that hurt so badly

Barty: it wasn't too bad actually it only stung for like a minute

But my eye was green for a while

Regulus: see you were being dramatic about nothing

Barty: I want a divorce 

Regulus: I'M TAKING DORA

Barty: WTF CAN'T WE ATLEAST HAVE SHARED CUSTODY 

Regulus: NO CHANCE

James: what is happening 

Evan: dw they do this all the time

Dorcas: remember when they properly divorced and wouldn't even look at each other for a week

Regulus: do you remember how you were when Marlene fell out with you

Dorcas: fuck you 

Marlene: aww were you that sad Cas??

Dorcas: Shut up

Yea

Marlene: That's so cute

Pandora: yous are the cutest istg

Lily: they so are 

Marlene: we know xoxo

Better then the divorced hoes

Barty: Nah we're not divorced anymore

Marlene: omfg 

Dorcas: ik damn well they've just made out

Evan: They did😐

Regulus: You're such a liar

Barty: don't accuse my baby cakes of stuff he didn't do 😠😠

Pandora: I really wish we knew what was wrong with you

Regulus: me too </3

Evan: there is nothing wrong with my sweet cheeks!! ☹️

Marlene: hate to break it to you Evan but there defo is...

Barty: everyone's a hater

~~~

James

James: Hey are we still going put tmrw??

Yea if you still wanna ofc

James: yea I do

Just go straight there yea??

Yup that's fine with me

James: Okay cool :)

Days without chemistry are so long I swear 😭 

Yea they are 😭😭 

~~~

The gays™️

Evan escence: AAAAAAAAAAAA

HELP ME

Bartemius: christ what's your husband said now 

Evan escence: SHUT UP

HE SAID HIS DAY WAS SO LONG WITHOUT CHEMISTRY 

Dora the explorer: HE WANTS YOU SO BAD

Reggie weggie: EXACTLY HE DOES

Evan escence: right stop the crazy talk

Bartemius: Lord have mercy

I'm gonna beat you

Castle: not without me you're not 

~~~

James

James: Anyways what you up to

Making pasta rn

Dora went to Regs so I've been left alone

James: oof ditched

What kinda pasta you making??

Pasta and grated cheese

James: 😰

You what now 

???

James: I'm telling a trusted adult 

Oml

That's so plain

It's so good tho

Do you not have pasta and grated cheese??

It's so peak

James: no??

Would you not just make macaroni 

I've not got the time for that 🙄

James: 😭😭

What are you doing then??

James: getting ready for football 

Gonna leave to get Marls in 10 mins

Oh nice

Have fun at football!!

James: hopefully

Teams so shite

They're all dicks istg

Poor Marlene getting called a dick </3

James: nooo ofc not

The rest of them🙄

That's rubbish

Atleast you've got her

James: there's meant to be another girl joining

So hopefully she's nice

Yea hope so

James: do you still do volleyball??

I mind seeing you playing last year

Yup still I do!!

Had to talk Regulus out of quiting

James: I take it that starts back next week then?

Yea next Tuesday

We literally have a game the next Friday tho

Like how quick is that

James: oh Jeez that's so fast

Ik was shocked

James: Right I have to go now

Talk to you later!!

Bye!!!

James: Byeee

~~~

Panda 🐼

When are you leaving??

Panda🐼: at 8

Before you say you don't have to meet me

Regs gonna walk me back anyways

Okay psychic

See you then

Panda🐼: :))

~~~

The Huzz

The Huzz: I'm leaving in 2 mins to walk Dora home 

I'll phone you when I'm back Bee x

Okay I'll be waiting love x

~~~

The gays™️

Castle: Ev I have proof he likes you

Evan escence: no you don't 

Castle: just wait till you see what Marls sent me

Evan escence: oh my god

Reggie weggie: YAYYYY

WHEN I TELL YOU BARTY SCREAMED

Bartemius: DO YOU BELIEVE US NOW EV??

Evan escence: perchance

Dora the explorer: OMG HE'S SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

Reggie weggie: YES HE SO IS

PLANNING THE WEDDING RN

Chapter Text

The gays™️

Castle: someone come a wander with me I'm so bored

Reggie weggie: two seconds teachers writing me a toilet pass

Bartemius: imagine ditching class 🙄

Evan escence: lmao just saw them pass my class

Castle: imagine being in class Ev 

Reggie weggie: EV WE JUST PASSED YOUR HUSBANDDD

Evan escence: SHUSH

Castle: HE SAID TO TELL YOU HI

Dora the explorer: AWW CUTE

~~~

James

James: I just saw Dorcas and Regulus

Ik they said

They're going wanders

James: imagine doing that

I definitely don't 

Yea totallyyyyy

Never done that in your life

James: not doing it rn

Definitely 

What are you even meant to be in

James: English 

It was so boring 

Was only writing an essay

So I thought might aswell leave

Yk what fair enough

Don't blame you English is so bad

James: what are you in

Biology

James: lucky you

Sounds sm better

It really is

Gotta love biology

James: back in class now </3

Aww you poor thing

How will you ever survive

James: I've got no idea

Might pass away

Oh have fun with that

James: will do

What are yous even doing

How are you getting away with this 😭 

I sit right at the back lmao

But we're just copying notes

James: ohhhh right

Love sitting up the back

Same tbh

Can get away with anything

Was sitting drinking monster yesterday and the teacher didn't notice 

James: oml 

How blind are they

The person next to me was sitting watching Brooklyn 99 istg

James: stop I love Brooklyn 99

Can't even blame them for that

Ik I was just shocked

They get straight As too

Actually crazy

James: Jesus

Yk what fair play to them

I need to try to do some of this essay sadly

So bye for now </3

Byeee 

Have fun

James: I won'ttt

~~~

The gays™️

Bartemius: I bet he's away to text James

Castle: oh he defo is

Reggie weggie: they're so cute aren't they

Castle: They really are

Can't wait for my speech at their wedding 

Evan escence: none if you are getting speechs

Bartemius: oop jumpscare

Reggie weggie: so yous are getting married then

Can't wait 

Evan escence: kys we are not

Dora the explorer: gasp Evan stop being mean

Castle: yea Ev stop it

Evan escence: or else what

Reggie weggie: you'd stop if James was telling you to

Evan escence: oh my god

Bartemius: HAHSHAHA REG STOP

IM GETTING DIRTY LOOKS CAUSE I LAUGHED AT THAT

Evan escence: yo I'm being bullied quit laughing 

Dora the explorer: you're not being bullied drama queen

Go cry to James 

Castle: DORA HELP

Reggie weggie: STOP IM GONNA CRY

Bartemius: PANDA I LOVE YOU 

Evan escence: 😐😐😐

Bartemius: OH MY GOD WAIT YOUR DATE IS TODAY

Evan escence: IT'S NOT A DATE

~~~

Mr Reggie 👁👅👁

Reg

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: yea??

What do I do

About today I mean

I never decided if I was gonna tell him I like him

I fear you're prolly the best with this

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: do you want to??

I'm not sure

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: what would you want if you did tell him

Like would you want things to stay the same but now he knows, or would you wanna date him

Date him??

But idk if I've known him long enough for that

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: maybe wait a bit until you're sure then

He'll defo say yes if you ask him out tho

How are you so sure

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: I can tell

He's constantly staring at you

Literally every time you walk past him he can't take his eyes off you

You're so exaggerating that

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: promise I'm not

He is so down bad for you

Sureee

Mr Reggie👁👅👁: I mean it

Okay then if you're sure

~~~

James x

James x: are we still going out today??

Yea ofc if you still wanna

James x: yup!! 

Meet me at the top gates?? 

Do you still need help with that history essay

Yea I do if that fine

James x: ofc it is!! 

See you later :)

See you thennn

~~~

Bat💋‼️

Bat💋‼️: have fun on your date that's not a date

Seriously 

Also I expect a full run down of it when you get home

Dw I'll phone you when I get in

But thanks Bats

Bat💋‼️: ofc if he tries any funny business I'll take care of him xoxo

Sure 😭 

Bat💋‼️: right bye babes have fun😘

Will do darling 🥰

~~~

"Hey!"

"Hi James, hows your day been?"

"Good, you??" He tucks his phone in his pocket and they start walking away from the school.

"Yea it's been fine."

"Oh did you hear about that fight earlier?"

"What no?? Who was it?"

"You know that Brian guy?" They stopped at the side of the road and waited for the traffic to clear.

"Yea he's such a dick."

"He is, but he was fighting that- oh what's his name- Daniel! Because apparently Daniel slept with his girlfriend? They both denied it though."

"You're having a laugh, that's crazy. How did I not hear about that oh my god."

"I only knew because Mary was telling me last period, I swear she knows everything."

"She really does, I sat next to her in English last year. Ended up knowing more about people's love lifes than whatever book we were doing." Someone had stopped to let them cross so they quickly walked to the other side giving the driver a thank you wave.

"What essay is it you need help with anyway?"

"Erm it's USA issue 5 I'm sure." 

"Oh yea I've done that one already, it's the worst one so far."

"Oh tell me about it I had no idea what they were on about."

"Same honestly, nearly there, that's the one." He pointed over to a coffee shop that was only about a minute from where they were.

"Great!"

~~~

Calling Bat💋‼️

B: CHRIST IT'S SO LATE THOUGHT YOU DIED OR SOMETHING, good date then??

E: GREAT

B: I NEED THE WHOLE THING 

E: SO WE WALKED THERE

B: Damn that's crazy

E: Shut up. I thought he'd sit across from me right, so we aren't too close. He sat right beside me, so when he was helping with my essay I kid you not he was leaning right over my shoulder to read it.

B: WHAT? You're having a giggle oh my god

E: dead serious. His chin was on my shoulder at one point I swear to god.

B: christ, he's so in love

E: then we're just having a chat right, when I tell you he was practically glued to my side. 

B: oh my fucking god, that's too cute

B: did you tell him? 

E: no I decided not to. I talked to Reg about it earlier and decided I hadn't known him long enough to date him yet, but I definitely have known him long enough I should've told him

B: look at you being all sensible, but that halloween party's tomorrow. So you have another chance if you want it, I'll get yous alone if you want to talk to him

E: I think I might honestly 

B: we know he likes you back anyway

E: that or he's just really affectionate 

B: well I've never seen him like that with anyone else so he definitely likes you

E: okay fair enough

B: better let you go but it's so late

E: I know I didn't expect to be out so long

E: need to get a shower still 

B: yea off you go then Ev

E: right, night Bats

B: Goodnight Evan Potter!!

Bat💋‼️ ended the call

~~~

Marauders 

Prongs: help I'm so in love

Wormtail: wow really

We had no idea

It wasn't obvious when you haven't shut up about Evan for days

Prongs: was I that obvious??

Moony: it was so clear

I'd be shocked if Evan didn't know atp

Prongs: nooo what if he does know and thinks I'm a weirdo

Padfoot: stfu he likes you

Would he have went out with you if not??

Prongs: what if it was only as a friend tho

Moony: it wasn't 

He likes you back you idiot

Wormtail: you should talk to him tmrw 

Prongs: wait I could

Wormtail: ik I'm a genius 

No need to thank me 

Padfoot: dw I appreciated it Pete 🙏 

Wormtail: atleast someone here did 🙄

Prongs: thanks Pete you're so right

I'll talk to him tmrw

Moony: dw we'll make sure to get yous alone