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People always assumed that one day, Grimmjow would leave Ichigo because he was bored or not interested in any of the sentimental things the shinigami proposed.
People always assumed that one day, Ichigo would leave Grimmjow because he couldn’t deal with such violent behavior and lack of sensivity.
People thought that hey, those two had to have great sex and maybe they hated each other but there was that little something, that small spark, that would cause them to end up together again and again.
It was Grimmjow who asked Ichigo out; with shaking hands and words rougher than he intended because he was still unsure of how to use them properly. Hueco Mundo wasn’t about words and neither had he been- but that was before.
“Before” meant a great many things to them; if they wanted to they could dissect their entire relationship into parts using that one word.
Before the Arrancar assault on Karakura town.
Before their return.
Before Grimmjow saved Inoue- before he asked one more favour of her.
Before their last fight to the death.
Before Nnoitra- a memory neither of them really liked and avoided talking about to this day. There were scars that spoke volumes, filled more blank spaces than the explanations ever could.
Then: before the Garganta opened to the Soul King’s palace. A reunion of the strangest sort, a return of little more than a ghost.
Before a smile- maybe the most important gesture of them all. It never truly went away.
Before they fought back to back.
Before suddenly, Grimmjow forgot how to ask for nothing but death.
Before Ichigo made sure they were on the same terms.
Before-
“I have no idea what the fuck I am doing,” Grimmjow whispered into the night at some point as if it was the stars he wanted to listen, not the shinigami who might or might not be awake at his side.
“I am so confused.”
“I don’t understand you.”
“You must be lying. But you aren’t. How can you not lie?”
And even if Ichigo didn’t answer then, he listened. He listened and he observed and he learned that all those horrible little things he saw during their last fight were deeply engrained in Grimmjow’s skull. Inscribed in his bones were phrases of importance, of an honestly grim future.
Live, live, live. In order to live you must kill. Everyone is watching you, always. Trust hurts. Trust lies. Throats are soft.
They were not a drug to each other, not an itch they couldn’t scratch. If there was something they had learned from each other then that was how misunderstandings led them to a point where it could have gone wrong entirely. How neither wanted to fight for the sake of fighting; how there was something like enemies by circumstance.
At first they were only about the war. Their reality was that of a fight approaching, a constant call for battle and blood. In the end they were both half-Hollow, half-person. Hollows were less than the worst of people.
Ichigo had long since learned that they were not all the same, were not all craving mindless battles, just like not all of the shinigami sought peace. The world was hardly painted black and white anymore.
Grimmjow was on edge constantly; the poison never truly left him even as Inoue pressed her gentle hands against his skin.
Be on guard, his bones sang, be alive.
So he scoffed as she healed him and he ran away as she was done. Fled the scene, fled the people.
Waited for Kurosaki to follow and follow he did.
Their first date happened in the middle of the warzone when they were both gravely injured.
Grimmjow had jumped into a fight head-first and surprised his enemy as he revealed his recklessness as a farce; he came prepared this time and kicked their asses before they ever even saw him coming.
Segunda Etapa, precious words on Ichigo’s tongue. Spoken in awe. Uttered in marvel.
Then they were ambushed and Grimmjow repayed his debt. One sword to the chest, cutting open what had healed after such a long time.
Ichigo suffered the same fate and only barely emerged victorious.
So in the end they were both bloodied and bleeding, almost broken down to the very foundation of what they were. Human, Hollow, Shinigami.
“Guess this is it, huh?” Grimmjow laughed and licked his bloody lips, “Finally got you killed.”
“You don’t want me dead,” Ichigo replied and smiled again because it signified a million things, “We’ll get out of here.”
They were not limited to seriousness because their situation was.
“Why do you have two belts now?”
“Well, why do you have two swords?”
“How is that even remotely related?”
“I just said it fucking is. Obviously you are showing off.”
“So are you, except I have at least better weapons, not just a damn fashion statement.”
“I am gonna strangle you with one of these belts if you keep talking, Kurosaki.”
Their first official date after the war ended was a horrible idea. Too nervous, too overwhelmed. Grimmjow could barely make sense of his feelings, let alone share them.
“Go out with me” happened and suddenly this particular “before” seemed more pleasant than everything that was yet to come if they followed this path.
Grimmjow’s grip on his hips was shaky at best, his breathing heavy. They opened their eyes at the same time as they kissed carefully, stepping into unknown territory. Ichigo laughed and they tried again and again and again until they learned how to be closer.
Grimmjow pressed his lips against Ichigo’s temple before he left, at a loss for words and shaken to the core.
They both wandered deserts, Hueco Mundo and the landscape of a fallen city. Inside and out.
“You’re an idiot.”
“You’re even worse. You like me.”
They worked differently than people ever assumed. Why? Because people were generally wrong and jumped to conclusions. It was in their nature, nothing they could actively fight sometimes. Sometimes they were just idiots.
“I am asexual.”
“So am I, what the fuck? How do you even know that term?”
“Well, I-”
“You talked to my sisters?”
“Well-”
The Kurosaki family accepted a new member without a hitch, Yuzu and Karin more so than Isshin. He still saw a threat where there used to be one.
It took time and effort to convince him- and maybe that one evening where he tried to teach a Hollow how to cook. One of the knives left a mark on the kitchen counter forever.
“You know, it looks like something cool happened,” Ichigo would tell everyone who asked, “But really, Grimmjow just slipped on a damn banana peel and slammed the knife into the counter. We had to call Tessai to get it out.”
“Who even slips on banana peels?”
“Everyone does. It’s normal.”
“Did you watch cartoons with Yuzu?”
“Shut up.”
Not being aggressive but affectionate even in public was unexpected for some.
“That is not what we thought you would be like!” a distant acquaintance laughed once.
What he would be like, was what they didn’t say.
“You know, I thought you were a little scary at first!” Yuzu said one day as Grimmjow helped her clean the parts of the windows she couldn’t reach by herself.
“I am scary,” he replied and glared at Ichigo as he laughed.
Yuzu giggled too and touched his shoulder so gently he didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Ichi-nii doesn’t agree with you,” she said and stuck out her tongue as said brother protested, “He thinks you are very pretty.”
She laughed even louder as they both turned scarlet.
“I don’t think you are just meant for destruction.”
“I don’t want to kill you at all.”
In the beginning, people thought they would end up killing each other.
If you asked Ichigo Kurosaki what he loved most about Grimmjow while he was around it would be “punching him in the face”.
Grimmjow would answer the same question with “ripping his guts out and tearing them to shreds”.
If you asked Ichigo in private he would smile fondly and say something like “there isn’t just one thing I could single out. Its all of them combined.”
Grimmjow would answer the same question in private with “ripping his guts out and tearing them to shreds”.
Grimmjow was not as open with his affection as Ichigo was; in the beginning he was confused and thus hurt and thus angry. His violence was a double-edged sword- and it ended before their relationship ever began.
“I don’t to be his punching bag,” Ichigo said, “And I don’t want him to be mine.”
“Then why do you stay with him?”
“We’re not like that. You make it sound like it’s a chore.”
Rukia understood.
She took Grimmjow aside once to tell him that Ichigo was serious about this so he had to be too; but she knew that it wasn’t like they needed changing, like this was toxic or a matter of lust no one else could sate.
She had been there, in the before. Had seen and watched and waited.
“Don’t worry so much,” she said and rolled her eyes, “Love isn’t easy, but you’ll be fine.”
Grimmjow rarely smiled, only just learned how to. Rukia punched his side like she had when she accepted his silent apology.
“You’re heavy.”
“And you’re complaining too much.”
“Excuse me?!”
“I just said- Why are you punching me?”
“I am not carrying you home if you insult me, you ass.”
Ichigo did carry him home.
Ichigo talked in his sleep; and when he did there was not a whole lot of sense to it.
“You told me how there are a lot of other fish in the sea,” Grimmjow explained once and looked genuinely puzzled, “Then you said you prefer sea lions because of their paddles.”
“Paddles?”
“Well, you said it. I don’t even know what a fucking sea lion is. Are there sea panthers?”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it already,” Ichigo said and admitted defeat, “You won.”
Grimmjow looked at him strangely.
“No, seriously. Why are all these cats in the sea?”
One time they tried to have sex. The stress lay on the word tried since they ended up teaching Grimmjow a card game instead.
“I mean, we can try again if you insist.”
“I don’t really wanna? Like, if you felt like it, sure, but I could also just fucking sleep for ten hours.”
“Yeah, but, you do that like, every day.”
“Isn’t that normal for humans?”
“Twice. Every day. You sleep in my bed more than I do.”
Sometimes Grimmjow took Ichigo to the top of the world when they felt like it- literally.
“Having a Hollow as a boyfriend definitely has its perks,” he laughed as they sat down at the edge of the Garganta, safe in the space Hollows cut between worlds.
“You just want me for my transportation skills,” Grimmjow said and pressed a hand against his chest in mock offense.
Ichigo flicked his ear and pressed their shoulders together. It was not cold at all in the Garganta.
“I’m freezing,” Ichigo said and scooted closer, “Warm me up.”
“You’re a liar,” Grimmjow answered and hugged him, “And a thief.”
Ichigo muttered a rude reply even as he settled between the Arrancar’s legs. The melon bread he had taken from the kitchen might or might not have belonged to Karin. However, this was also his last week before university started again, so he prayed to whatever deity there might be that his sister would be merciful.
“So what is this called?” Grimmjow asked and placed his chin atop Ichigo’s head. As he received no answer he gestured vaguely at the view outside.
”Y’know, you can at least tell me where we are now that I’ve woken up for this.”
“It’s the Himalayas, I told you,” Ichigo replied and sighed, “Highest mountains and all.”
“Nice,” Grimmjow said and nuzzled his hair, “Now give me some of that bread.”
“You don’t even like it.”
“You don’t know that.”
Grimmjow did not like the melon bread. In fact, he threw the rest of his piece outside and watched it sail down past the clouds.
“You could go anywhere,” Ichigo said and looked up to where there were stars and the entirety of space.
“What do you mean?”
“To the bottom of the sea, the highest mountains, some far-away planet, probably. You could go anywhere you want to.”
Grimmjow gave him a blank stare.
“I could also go and get ice cream,” he said, “Which is probably what I am gonna do.”
Ichigo stopped and stared. Blinked twice.
“Yeah, let’s do that,” he agreed and took Grimmjow’s hand in his.
Hueco Mundo felt far away now.
Ichigo kissed Grimmjow’s forehead the first time they met after the Quincy were done for. He hadn’t planned to do it; he hadn’t planned for them to meet ever again because Hollows were not bound to the human concept of time.
But suddenly they were side by side again and there were so many things left unsaid.
“Fuck it,” Ichigo said just as his heart felt nothing short of exploding, “Come here, you fucker.”
Grimmjow flinched as a kiss was pressed to the corner of his mouth, the tip of his nose, then his hair.
“What are you doing?” he asked quietly.
“Just glad you made it,” Ichigo answered, “With my help of course.”
And Grimmjow grinned even through his confusion and his embarrassment because he couldn’t smile just yet.
“All I hear is jealousy, Kurosaki,” he said, “Jealousy and a lil’ bit of concern.”
The scar on his throat spoke of the time when he stopped a blade just a second too late. Ichigo knew because he was there, the wrong place at the wrong time. A debt repaid, a throat almost cut.
So he reached out and traced the slightly raised skin, followed the straight line until Grimmjow reached up and removed his hand.
At that point Ichigo didn’t kiss him again; that took just a little while longer.
He could wait. There was still time.
“See you around,” Grimmjow said.
A promise. A certainty.
“It’s a date, then!” Ichigo called after him.
Ultimately they stayed together because they wanted to. Because even if they did want to punch each other sometimes, they were still in love.
“People say you don’t seem like the type to like cuddling, you know.”
“Well, tell people to fuck off and get your ass over here to pet my hair already, Kurosaki.”