Chapter Text
Chat: future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)
future brother in law: hey, James?
james: hi tiny blonde one whats up
future brother in law: I thought that was Luna
james: touche
james: you can be tiny blonde one number two
james: anyway what up scorpy scorp
future brother in law: I was wondering if it would be okay to ask out Al. I didn't want to ask your dad, he's kind of scary.
james: YES DO IT
future brother in law: Really?
james: YES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG DO THE THING
future brother in law: Okay! I'll let you know how it goes.
james: YES DO
james: HE'LL SAY YES BTW
Group Chat: scorbus shippers anonymous
Members:
james (James Potter)
teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)
the clever one (Rose Weasley)
smol (Hugo Weasley)
moon moon (Lily Potter)
twin 1 (Lorcan Scamander)
twin 2 (Lysander Scamander)
(2.06am)
james: GUYS
the clever one: james its 2am
james: BUT ROSE
the clever one: no text us again at a reasonable hour
(7.30am)
james: GUYS
the clever one: if this is just bc they smiled at each other again i will END YOU
moon moon: there better be a love confession this time
james: wink emoticon
teddy bear: WHAT
smol: ohhhhhhhh my goooooooood
the clever one: hugo pls
james: [screenshot attached]
teddy bear: IT'S REAL
twin 1: great
twin 2: i swear our mum predicted this 6yrs ago
the clever one: MORE EXCITEMENT FROM YOU TWO PLEASE
twin 1: no
twin 2: no
twin 1: why am i here
teddy bear: bit existential for half 7 mate
twin 1: no seriously is this a form of torture
moon moon: yes we all have to suffer al and scorp's pining so u do too
twin 1: ugh
james: ooh good point we should add more people to this more need to suffer
teddy bear: ...im dating someone evil
james: >:)
pretty blonde has been added to the chat
pretty blonde: Are you all discussing my son?
pretty blonde: What is this chat?
moon moon: MR MALFOY HI
the clever one: JAMES WHAT THE FUCK
the clever one: *heck
james: I HAD THE NUMBER AS PRETTY BLONDE I THOUGHT IT WAS VIC
teddy bear: am i not pretty enough
james: let me show u how pretty u are wink emoticon
the clever one: james just use ;) instead of writing 'wink emoticon'
james: wink emoticon
the clever one: ffs
smol: my eyes!!! my poor eyes!!!
the clever one: NOT NOW NOT HERE
pretty blonde has left the chat
james: thank fuck that was emotionally scarring im glad thats over
Chat: future brother in law (Scorpius Malfoy)
future brother in law: He said yes!
james: SSSHHHIT
Chat: THE MOTHERSHIP (Ginny Weasley)
james: mum guess what
the MOTHERSHIP: You're going to come visit your poor old mother and make your dad shut up about quidditch?
james: ...no
james: SCORPIUS ASKED ALBUS OUT
james: (but I will come visit you <3)
THE MOTHERSHIP: That's wonderful! I'll tell your father - and yes, do. We miss you around here.
james: <3 <3 <3
Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)
james: jsyk me and teddy are still the superior couple
snakey mcsnakeface: was there a gc about you??
james: who told u abt the gc
snakey mcsnakeface: i offered hugo sweets to tell me why you all keep grinning at your phones
james: dammit hugo
james: also me and teddy didn't need a gc bc we didn't dance around our feelings for THREE FUCKING YEARS
snakey mcsnakeface: only bc neither of you have any boundaries
james: true
james: but srsly i love u and i hope ur happy
snakey mcsnakeface: i am
snakey mcsnakeface: (love you too)
Chat: scorbus shippers anonymous
james added snakey mcsnakeface and future brother in law to the chat
james: you guys know you might as well be added
teddy bear: CONGRATS LOVEBIRDS TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH
teddy bear: me and james are still superior tho fyi
james: thats what i told them
snakey mcsnakeface: thanks ted much appreciated
future brother in law: What is this?
the clever one: u didnt know about the gc?
james: oh oops i only told al
future brother in law: You had a group chat to gossip about us?
james: yeah lol
future brother in law: Fair enough, we were pretty frustrating now I look back on it
smol: YEAH
smol: YOU WERE
smol: IN BETWEEN WALKING IN ON TEDDY AND JAMES MAKING OUT AND YOU TWO THE HOUSE DURING SUMMERS WAS A NIGHTMARE
moon moon: wow thats the most hugo's ever said in the chat
the clever one: just so u know he just threw his phone at the sofa and went outside
james: oh shit i forgot that happened
moon moon: he walked in on you? lmao
teddy bear: poor lil guy
james: it was only making out
snakey mcsnakeface: speaking of, thats what scorp and i are gonna go do
future brother in law: We are?
snakey mcsnakeface: yep bye
james: ew
teddy bear: young love
james: dont encourage them u enabler
teddy bear: we're just as gross
james: true tbh we're probs grosser
the clever one: hugo just shouted 'you are'
james: THANKS HUGO
james: (it was in all caps cause i was shouting back)
the clever one: yes thank u james
james: anyway
james: THUS ENDS TODAY'S SCORBUS SHIPPERS ANONYMOUS SESSION
james: I'M GONNA GO KISS TEDDY NOW
james: BYE
the clever one: hugo just screamed again