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Hikaru tossed and turned in his futon on the floor of Yoshiki's bedroom. He could force himself to fall asleep if he really wanted to, but he just felt restless and couldn't figure out why. He should at least feel tired by now, considering he had spent half the day running around outside in the sweltering summer sun.
He had shown up at Yoshiki's place around noon that day and dragged him down to the creek to catch frogs. Yoshiki complained at first, saying that was too country for him, that they were getting too old for that kinda fooling around. But he quickly relented, having nothing better to do with his day. Hikaru's "who can catch the biggest frog" contest turned into a "who can catch the longest crayfish" contest, turned into a "who can catch a crab with biggest claws" contest.
All the while, the cooling water of the creek did little to temper the midday sun beating down on them. By the time Hikaru thought of a new game, catching dragonflies with the same nets he had brought for catching crayfish, Yoshiki's enthusiasm and energy had dwindled to the point that he just sat in the shade and watched as Hikaru ran around and nearly tripped a dozen times while trying to get a dragonfly in a net that clearly wasn't meant for that purpose. Eventually, the sun started to sink below the horizon, and that was their cue to head home for the day, Hikaru's new game having been an abject failure.
"Couldn't catch a single one!" he complained as they started walking home.
"They're too fast for ya," Yoshiki said. "Plus yer net is too small."
"I'll bring a proper bug-catching net next time!" Hikaru beamed. "Yer coming with me, right?"
Yoshiki couldn't help but smile at his endless positivity. "Sure. I kinda feel bad for the dragonflies though... we might hurt their wings or something."
"It'll be fine, we'll be careful!"
Their banter continued like that all the way back to Yoshiki's house. They took turns showering, had dinner with the rest of the family, then played Smash and Maruo Party til they were ready to turn in for the night. Well, til Yoshiki was ready to turn in for the night.
So here they were now, having their usual Saturday night sleepover, except Hikaru didn't feel like sleeping at all. Yoshiki, on the other hand, was fast asleep within minutes of his head hitting the pillow. Weird, Hikaru thought. He always falls asleep so easily on the weekends. Takes forever to get up too.
Hikaru looked over to Yoshiki, who was lying on his back just a few feet away. It was almost completely dark in the room, but the moonlight filtering in through the curtains outlined his sleeping form in faint silver. It was completely silent too, except for Yoshiki's quiet, even breaths and the hum of the air-con. And Yoshiki's steady heartbeat, if he really listened closely.
Hikaru blinked. A red glow gathered in his pupils as Yoshiki's soul came into focus. So bright. So pretty. Hikaru was sure, Yoshiki's soul was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. He always felt drawn to it. Just being near it made the endless void of his insides feel a bit warmer. Without thinking, he sat up and crawled towards that warmth he always craved. He was kneeling by Yoshiki's bed, arms resting on the edge, before he realized what he was doing.
Can't do that to him, he thought.
His eyes landed on Yoshiki's face. He looked so peaceful like this, like all his stress had melted away, if only for a few hours. He reached over and brushed Yoshiki's long bangs out of his face. They were a bit damp with sweat, despite the room being comfortably cool by this time of night. "Yer so handsome too," he whispered with a soft smile. "I like everything about ya, Yoshiki."
His glowing pupils drifted back to the shining star at the center of Yoshiki's chest. "Wish I could take ya inside me... you'd be so warm..." Hikaru thought back to the last time Yoshiki had reached inside him. It had been a few weeks ago by now. Hikaru hadn't asked him to do it again since then.
He thought about what Yoshiki had said that time. "Ya can't be doing things that make others uncomfortable, got it?" Hikaru didn't want to upset Yoshiki like that again. That's why he hadn't asked Yoshiki to do it again, even though he really wanted to. Even though he was craving that warmth so badly that he could hardly focus on anything else. Especially now, in this dark, quiet room, where nothing else seemed to matter.
"Ya can't be doing things that make others uncomfortable."
But if he didn't know about it... then it wouldn't make him uncomfortable either, right?
Something in his head told him that wasn't right either. But it was so easy to ignore that voice when the only thing he cared about was right there in front of him.
I'll be careful, he thought. As long as Yoshiki doesn't wake up...
Ever so carefully, he let out a tendril of his insides from the scar on his neck. He extended the tendril until it touched the bare skin of Yoshiki's torso where his shirt had ridden up in his sleep. Yoshiki's breath hitched for a moment from the contact, and his face scrunched up a bit. Hikaru waited for him to relax again before he continued.
He extended the tendril further, running it under Yoshiki's shirt. He added another tendril, sending it under the shirt collar. Yoshiki started breathing a bit harder, but he seemed to still be asleep. Hikaru closed his eyes for a moment and took in the sensation. The heat concentrated on those two tendrils contrasted with the cold he felt everywhere else. It made him feel a bit lightheaded.
More of his insides joined those tendrils as he started to seep them into Yoshiki's skin and deeper. He shuddered from the added warmth it provided. Yoshiki's breath got a bit uneven now, and Hikaru watched as his face contorted before relaxing again.
Hikaru let out a quiet sigh of relief. Still fine. He let in more of his insides, trying his best not to obstruct any organs involved in breathing. He could just reach into Yoshiki's brain and make sure he stayed asleep, but that felt risky too, considering that reaching up there was what made Yoshiki panic last time.
Hikaru closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. So warm...
Yoshiki made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a whimper. Hikaru snapped his eyes open at the sound. Yoshiki kept breathing unevenly through his now open mouth, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
Hikaru froze for a long moment, trying to wait until Yoshiki relaxed again. But he was starting to really lose focus. Too warm... feels too good... He couldn't keep still, his insides pulsed and swirled around, like every square inch of that incomprehensible matter wanted a taste of Yoshiki's warmth.
Gotta stop...
Hikaru retracted most of his insides back into himself, making sure he went slow enough to not cause a shock. He immediately missed the warmth, his insides pushed against the cage of his own body as if in protest. Yoshiki stirred in his sleep again, moving an arm onto his chest and turning his head to the side.
Hikaru knew he should stop while he was ahead. He'd already gotten what he wanted, right? It was enough. Even if he never got to do this again, it would be enough.
But... what he really wanted was a taste of Yoshiki's soul. The warmth of his body, living, breathing, pulsing, was incredible too. It made him feel alive, even though he never was. But that brilliant flame that was the essence of his being... Hikaru wanted it more than anything else. He also knew it was the one thing he couldn't ever have. Funny how that works. He wondered if human desires were like this too.
Still, a flame as strong and bright as this one wouldn't be snuffed out so easily. Maybe... maybe he could get a small taste.
He promised himself that if he did this now, he would never try it again.
If he wanted to, he could let his insides take over every cell in Yoshiki's body, and none of it would be touching his soul. Because the soul wasn't a physical thing. Hikaru's insides could reach for it though, in a different way than physically reaching into Yoshiki. He could even take Yoshiki's soul without touching him at all. Although, considering how much Hikaru was weakened now, Yoshiki would probably wake up first and fight against it. Hikaru shook his head. That's not what he wanted to do at all.
Just a small taste...
Ever so carefully, he reached the smallest tendril towards the edge of the dazzling light in Yoshiki's chest. It flared out like a starburst in every direction, letting off sparks like solar flares.
So pretty...
Inching the tendril forward at a snail's pace, he nearly reached a vertex of that brilliant starburst. Then, with one quick flick, a delicate lick, he brushed his tendril against the corner of Yoshiki's soul, then immediately retracted that tendril back inside himself.
He shut his eyes as his whole body convulsed for a moment, the incredible heat emanating from that single point of contact spread rapidly to every corner of his eldritch insides.
At the same time, Yoshiki jolted awake with a gasp. His eyes immediately locked onto Hikaru's as he sat up and scrambled backwards. Hikaru jerked back too and landed back on his futon with a soft thud.
Oh no.
"...Hikaru?" Yoshiki asked, his voice heavy with sleep as he reached for the lamp above his bedframe. He looked down at Hikaru. Hikaru looked away sheepishly for a moment. Even in the dim light it was obvious- his face was flush and his eyes were blown wide, the red glow in his pupils was starting to recede.
"Y-yoshiki... yer awake..."
"Mm. Had a weird dream."
"A nightmare?"
"...Naw, not really." Then, before Hikaru could ask any more about his dream, he questioned Hikaru back. "What were ya doin' just now?"
"Ah... I um..." Hikaru didn't want to lie to Yoshiki, but he didn't want to upset him with the truth either. "I couldn't sleep so I..."
Yoshiki raised an eyebrow. "Were you... watchin' me sleep...?"
Hikaru looked towards Yoshiki but didn't make eye contact. "Yeah... pretty much. Was um, lookin' at your soul," he forced the words out, tinged with guilt. It wasn't the full truth, but it wasn't a lie either.
Their eyes met again as a blush crept onto Yoshiki's face.
"...I'm sorry for being weird." Hikaru scratched the back of his neck. "And for scaring ya."
"Oh. Um... it's ok." I should tell him not to do that, Yoshiki thought. "I don't really mind," he said instead. What am I saying?? Yoshiki could feel his boundaries eroding in real time.
Hikaru's eyes went wide again as he just stared in surprise for a moment. "...Really?" He thought for sure that Yoshiki would scold him again, maybe even ask him to leave.
Yoshiki just nodded, then reached for his phone to check the time. "Oh, it's almost 2am." He looked back to Hikaru. "Guess we should try an' go back to sleep."
"Ah. Yeah, we should." Hikaru reached for his pillow but didn't lie down yet. "Sorry, I know you have a hard time falling asleep again once you're up."
"It's ok, it's not your fault." Yoshiki reached for the lamp's switch but didn't turn off the light yet.
Hikaru pouted. It pretty much is though, he thought.
The two stared at each other a moment longer, an unspoken question hanging in the air between them. Then they both started speaking at the same time, and Yoshiki's "do you wanna-" overlapped with Hikaru's "can I-" as they both cut themselves off.
After a beat, they both burst out laughing, and the tension between them dissipated. Hikaru crawled forward again and crossed his arms on the edge of the bed. He looked up at Yoshiki with a grin and asked, "can I sleep here with ya?"
Yoshiki's eyes went wide this time, his face going from pink to bright red. He would never stop being taken aback by how easily Hikaru said things like that.
"Bwah hah! You were about to ask me the same thing, right?" Hikaru grinned again, baring his snaggletooth and narrowing his eyes.
Yoshiki let out a small huff of a laugh. He's just like a fox. "I- Ok, yeah." He scooted over to make room for Hikaru, who lit up, starry-eyed then gleeful as he climbed onto the bed, bringing his pillow with him. Yoshiki couldn't help but smile, endeared by the way Hikaru wore his heart on his sleeve.
With how narrow the bed was, the two of them ended up with no space between them. Their knees brushed and they had nowhere to put their arms as they lay facing each other. Hikaru gazed into Yoshiki's eyes, his adoring expression barely visible in the faint moonlight. Yoshiki felt his face heat up, felt his heart race faster the longer Hikaru stared.
"Yoshiki~" Hikaru lilted, "yer still no good at resisting guys like me."
"Shut up." Yoshiki tried to look away, which was hard to do when Hikaru took up almost his whole field of vision.
"No use pretending," Hikaru continued to tease, grinning like he always did. "Just lemme hold ya."
Yoshiki couldn't blush any harder, so he smiled back instead. Hikaru was right, after all. Yoshiki could never resist him. "Ok," he replied simply.
Hikaru placed his pillow next to Yoshiki's chest and laid back down. He wrapped his arms around Yoshiki's waist and intertwined their legs. Yoshiki tensed up from his touch, the heat emanating from every point of contact seared his skin.
Hikaru tilted his head to look up at Yoshiki. "Ya scared of me?" he crooned.
"Nah." Yoshiki tried to hide his still beet-red face behind his arm before mumbling, "I trust ya." Tentatively, he returned Hikaru's embrace.
Hikaru felt his face flush this time, surprised by the earnestness of Yoshiki's reply. "Yer always so sweet to me, Yoshiki," he said as he nuzzled into Yoshiki's chest, feeling the warmth radiating from his body and soul together. It filled his mind with a comfortable haze. So, so warm... Hikaru thought he'd be happy to stay in this moment forever.
Yoshiki didn't bother to deny it this time. "Stop talking and go to sleep," he said instead, finally relaxing in Hikaru's arms. Hikaru hummed contentedly.
"G'night, Yoshiki."
"Mm. G'night, Hikaru."
This is enough, he thought. Just being with you is all I need.