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Chapter Text

CHAPTER 1: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

It was a day like any other in Hell, the night giving way to the next day, accompanied by the sound of horns honking and gunshots from every corner of Pentagram City. At the Hazbin Hotel, the atmosphere is incredibly calm and silent, at least until the arrival of a particular demon.

"How are you doing, bitches?" exclaimed Angel Dust as soon as he got out of bed, if you don't count the minutes he spent getting ready to appear in front of everyone, after all, a star must always be at his best.

The lobby is dotted with familiar faces. Husk was at the bar, busy cleaning glasses, punctuating the process with a few drinks from his personal bottle, and waiting for someone to check in, which was seen more as a possible sign of the Apocalypse than a possibility.

"Good morning to you too," the feline demon said in a bored tone as he wiped down the glasses, having by now become accustomed to Angel's eccentric nature, if you can call it that, which he didn't mind all that much.

"Hello Angel," replied Sir Pentious, who was sitting on one of the sofas in the lobby surrounded by his egg boyz, intent on studying the plans for an invention that wasn't a weapon or that couldn't be used to physically harm others. A very difficult challenge, he said, but he was willing to try.

"Hi Angel!", greeted euphorically the little housekeeper Niffty, busy as always cleaning every single inch of the hotel, making sure that no insects were present, and those cockroaches that the cyclops found, well, better not talk about them.

Angel, meanwhile, sits down at the bar, eager to have a chat with Husk.

"So, are you enjoying one of those few breaks Val gives you?" asked the bartender.

"Don't talk to me about it, after Charlie's visit the 'big boss' started throwing a tantrum," the porn star began. "It's bad enough that when I'm in his offices he doesn't let me walk around on a leash, at least not when we're filming."

After a few seconds, the spider demon looks around and notices something strange, namely the lack of a perpetually happy, ringing voice intent on organizing activities to redeem the few guests present.

"Hey, Husk," Angel said, to which the bartender cocked an ear, showing he was listening. "Where are Dollface and Vags?" he asked.

"They left a few hours ago. The princess, given the results of the show and tell, went looking for something that could help with the redemption exercises, and Vaggie joined her, given the results of her last solo outing," Husk replied, alluding to Charlie's visit to Valentino's studios, the results of which were not the best.

Just as the discussion was going on about the whereabouts of the two girls, increasingly loud voices could be heard outside the front door, until it was opened, revealing Charlie and Vaggie.

"Darling, I tell you again, that place was strange," the white-haired girl replied to her lover.

"Come on,Vaggie, it wasn't that bad," Charlie replied with his trademark positivity.

"Did the fling go well?" Angel asked in a joking tone with a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Hi Angel," began the hotel owner. "And yes, we found something that might inspire guests on their journey to self-improvement," Charlie added enthusiastically, as he took his latest purchase, a video cassette, out of a bag.

"Is this a guide on how to run a hotel?" Husk asked wryly.

"Very funny," Vaggie replied deadpan.

"And no, it's something better," Charlie added as she handed the videocassette to Angel, who looked at it and read the title aloud.

"The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring", he read slavishly, "It sounds like the name of a second-rate jewelry store",commented the porn star. "Where did you find that? I thought video stores had been closed for years."

"Well, not all of them. One was left open", Vaggie admitted hesitantly.

"Yeah, Hell rental", concluded the princess.

The audience gave a slight jolt at the mention of that name. Angel's eyes widened and the VHS tape fell to the floor. Husk stopped cleaning the glasses for a moment, and one of his ears twitched suddenly when he heard those two words. Niffty stopped suddenly and Sir Pentious showed an anguished expression.

"Um… what's going on?" asked a confused Charlie, confused by the sudden change in the audience.

"Hell rental?" the bartender began, sounding surprised and a little scared despite his calm tone. "You mean that place so dark that even some Overlords avoid it?"

"Yeah, even Val doesn't have the balls to stick her ass in there, and that says it all," Angel added.

"I heard that Hell Rental movies look at you, and then they look for you… and then they find you," Niffty interjected, saying the last part of the sentence with a psychotic smile and while squashing a bug with one hand.

"One of my egg boyz once went in there. Oh, not even Hell could prepare him for what was there," the serpent demon said, his tone reflecting his anguish.

"That place was actually pretty shady," Charlie's girlfriend said. "It was full of weird movies, about boys on a desert island who start worshipping pig heads and little girls possessed by evil spirits. This one was the lightest", Vaggie concluded as she picked up the VHS tape from the floor.

"It was on an empty shelf, next to another videotape with a happy face drawn on it… in blood," Charlie confessed with a tight smile as she remembered the moment she discovered that the red wasn't tempera.

"And that didn't make you think you should turn around and never return to that cursed place again?" Husk asked.

"Well, it's the only store in all of Hell that still sells VHS tapes, and since the hotel TV is so old, that's all we can afford," Charlie replied. "And the owner seemed like a nice guy, anyway, and he said this movie will get us."

"Yes, although a little eccentric. Dressed like a director, with a pipe in his mouth and speaking with academic English. A certain Jackson, even if the nameplate reported only the initials J. R. R. T.", commented Vaggie.

"So your idea of redemption is a movie night?" Angel asked.

"On the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, this film teaches important lessons like teamwork and fighting temptation, so it seems perfect," the princess replied.

"Another idea to carry on this illusion?" said Alastor, suddenly appearing behind the two girls.

"Dios mio, Alastor!" the white-haired girl exclaimed. "Why do you keep appearing behind people, damn it!"

"Why do you keep getting scared?" he admitted with a quick laugh. "What are you talking about, anyway?"

"The princess bought a VHS from that dark hole, Hell Rental", the feline demon informed.

"Interesting, and tell me, my dear," said the radio demon, looking at Charlie, "What made you make such a reckless choice?"

"Well, since the show and tell didn't work as well as I hoped, I wanted to try something that would capture the guests' attention," Charlie explained.

"Oh, if you wanted something that would catch their attention, you could have asked me. You know, TV is such a frivolous, insipid medium, capable only of turning you into a zombie with its garbage," Alastor replied.

"Yes, you are against technology, we know that", began Vaggie,"But this is what we have".

"The owner told me that the book exists, but the library burned down during the last Extermination," added the princess.

"And I honestly don't know how many people in this place would enjoy sitting and listening to someone read for hours", commented Angel.

"Exactly. So what are you doing?" the white-haired girl asked the red-clad demon. "Are you joining us, or are you going to hide in your tower and despise everything modern?"

"Hmm…", Alastor began, tapping his chin with his index finger, "Okay, I'll be there, but only because I've heard various stories about Hell Rental, and I want to see if they're true," he replied.

"Perfect!" Charlie exclaimed. "We're here tonight to see what this movie has to offer."

Evening came and the whole crew settled on the couch in front of the TV, with Charlie and Vaggie in the center, Husk on their right, Angel on their left, Niffty perched on one of the arms of the sofa, Alastor sitting in an armchair to the right of the sofa and finally Sir Pentious sitting on the floor, with his tail tucked in to be as comfortable as possible.

"Ok, now that we are all here, let's see whst this movie is like", affirmed Charlie as she inserted the VHS into the VCR.

"Or let's get ready to become Hell's next big crime story," Angel joked, resulting in a nudge from Vaggie.

After a few moments, the film begins showing a black screen with a female voice narrating.

"The world has changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I sense it in the air. Much of what was is lost because no one lives now who remembers it.", begins the narrator.

"It wasn't supposed to be a film about team spirit and all that", commented the porn star.

"Angel, at least start the movie," Vaggie snorted.

"In my films we'd be right in the thick of the action right now," Angel Dust replied with a mischievous smile.

"It all began with the forging of the Great Rings…"

"Who would have thought that in a movie called 'The Lord of the Rings,'" Husk quipped.

"...Three were given to the Elves, immortal beings of great wisdom and loyalty. Seven to the kings of the Dwarves, great miners and builders of cities in the mountains…"

"And in their free time they help Snow White", Angel joked.

"Who?", asked Sir Pentious.

"Snow White, the Disney princess", replied the spider demon.

"The… what?" the snake asked again.

"Um… never mind", Angel said.

And nine were given to the race of Men, who desire power above all things. In the Rings was the will and the strength to rule all races. But they were all deceived, for another Ring was created. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, Sauron, the Dark Lord, forged in secret a Master Ring to rule all the others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his wickedness, and his will to dominate all life.

Meanwhile, the crew witnesses Sauron create the Ring of Power at Mount Doom.

"They have their Alastor in that world too", Vaggie muttered to herself.

"Cloak, armor exaggeratedly full of sharp parts, lives near a volcano, is called the Dark Lord. I wonder why he would do such a thing, such a good person",commented sarcastically Husk.

"One ring to rule them all".

"It looks like a ring Val could easily wear, if he could read what's written on it, or if he could read at all," Angel Dust interjected.

Middle-earth fell to the power of the Ring, but some resisted. An alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. On Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle-earth.

The television shows Sauron's orc armies.

"Someone hasn't been brushing their teeth," Niffty said. "And that needs to be fixed," he added with a sadistic smile as he produced a grinder out of thin air.

"I better take this, and remember this is fiction," Pentious stated as he took the grinder and moved it as far away from the little Cyclop as possible.

"Victory was near…"

"Yes!" Charlie exclaimed euphorically.

Then the scene showed Sauron descending onto the battlefield with the Ring on his finger.

"No!", he rectified the princess.

"A nice big club",commented Angel with a seductive tone.

"But the power of the Ring could not be overcome"

The hotel crew sees Sauron literally throwing soldiers from one place to another with extreme ease.

"Pain!", exclaimed Niffty.

"As I thought," Alastor began, "this Sauron is just a brute. He has no taste, and he's too conservative in his dress."

"Alastor calling someone else violent and old. Either this alcohol is stronger than I thought, or there's something really weird about this movie."commented Husk

"It was then, when all hope was gone, that Isildur, the king's son, took up his father's sword".

The scene shows Isildur taking the sword that is broken by Sauron and with it cutting off the Dark Lord's finger, taking away the Ring and defeating him.

"Wait a minute. Really? Did one blow to the hand defeat him?" Vaggie asked.

"Apparently," Charlie replied.

Sauron, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this last chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted, and the Ring of Power has a will of its own.

"Sure, if you don't want the movie to be five minutes long," Angel intervened.

"Interesting, so this Sauron is not a simple-minded barbarian," thought the radio demon.

"It led Isildur… to his death".

The members of the Hazbin Hotel see Isildur lose the Ring in the river and then die from arrows.

"And the award for most ridiculous death goes to Mister Isildur! Applause!" Alastor exclaimed as sounds of applause came from his microphone.

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth. And for 2,500 years, all knowledge of the Ring was lost, until, when the opportunity arose, it ensnared a new bearer.

The TV shows a hand holding the Ring and a voice describing the Ring as "My treasure."

"The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it into the deep tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, the Ring consumed him".

The crew sees Gollum's cave and even Gollum himself, though in dim light, who gazes at the Ring, calling it his treasure.

"Look at that cave! It's all dirty!", gasped Niffty while holding on to the armrest in a state of nervousness.

"I would never take that Ring, after all this beauty must be preserved",commented Angel.

"I have to say I feel sorry for Gollum, after all he didn't choose to find that Ring and he didn't know what he was getting himself into," said Charlie.

"I know you don't like Charlie, but remember it's fiction," Vaggie reminded her girlfriend to cheer her up.

"The Ring gave Gollum an unnaturally long life. For 500 years it poisoned his mind, and in the darkness of Gollum's cave, he waited. Darkness crept back into the forest world. Rumors of a shadow in the east. Whispers of a nameless fear. And the Ring of Power sensed its time had come. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened that the Ring had not foreseen. It was taken up by the most unlikely creature there was. A Hobbit. Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire".

The TV shows Bilbo picking up the Ring and hiding it as he hears Gollum scream.

"Oh no, why are you so afraid to come near you? This Gollum seems like such a sociable guy," the bartender said sarcastically.

"Yeah, at the very least it'll jump on you and eat your face off," Angel added.

"Soon the Hobbits will shape everyone's fortune".

Just then the TV went off.

"Damn!", Sir .

"Fuck!", Husk and Angel shouted in unison.

"For once this garbage box wasn't starting to bore me completely", commented Alastor.

"Ah! Something must have gone wrong. Let me check," Vaggie said as she approached the VCR.

"This is what happens when you have the oldest television in all of Hell," the porn star complained.

"Vaggie,do you see anything?", asked Charlie.

"No, everything looks fine," his girlfriend replied, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

"Try unplugging and plugging it back in," Pentious advised.

Vaggie tried unplugging it and plugging it back in and it seemed to work.

"Very well, I want to see how that garden gnome will solve the situation", affirmed Angel.

However, after a few seconds, a portal opened on the television and began sucking in the hotel's members one by one.

"Your unexpected journey begins!" said a voice that seemed to come from inside the portal that had been created.

Alastor was immediately taken and could only slightly tighten his smile, as a sign of surprise.

"What the fuck!" Husk exclaimed when he was caught.

"Help!" Charlie screamed as she was sucked into the screen.

"Charlie!" Vaggie gasped before she too was caught.

"Why is there never a moment of peace here!?" Angel wondered before being sucked in.

"No! Please!" the snake demon begged, but it was no use.

"Hurray!" exulted Niffty.

And after a few seconds, the entire hotel crew was engrossed in the television.

"Um… what do we do now?", asked one of the egg boyz who had seen what had happened.

"Shall we continue the movie?" another egg boy suggested as he grabbed the remote.

Chapter Text

Darkness. All the demons saw as soon as they crossed the threshold of the portal was absolute darkness. No light, only limitless darkness, which seemed destined to last forever, but in the end, it did not.

The princess of Hell saw nothing but blackness around her, then she heard her own heartbeat and the sound of her breathing. Then, little by little, her eyes opened again, albeit with difficulty. First there was black, now she saw a blur of colors, not crimson or yellow, but colors no one in Hell ever imagined they would see again after their passing. These colors were green and blue, accompanied by a strange warmth, not like that of the place of eternal damnation, but an enveloping, lulling warmth, something Charlie had never felt in 200 years of life.

Finally her eyes opened fully and those confused spots took the shapes of trees standing under a great blue sky, without pentagrams or anything else, just white clouds that were ploughing the firmament like a sea. Charlie sat down on the grass, still shaken by what had happened earlier, and began to look around.

"Where am I? What kind of place is this?", she began to wonder as she scanned the landscape. "And where are the others?!", she gasped, seeing no one.

Just then she heard a familiar female voice, which was busy calling her name.

"Charlie? Charlie? Where are you?", called the voice that the princess immediately recognized as Vaggie's.

As soon as he heard these words, Charlie stood up and began moving towards the source.

"Charlie?", the white-haired girl managed to say, before seeing her lover come running towards her and start hugging her.

"Vaggie!", Charlie exclaimed as he hugged his girlfriend, "Luckily you're okay!".

"Yes, calm down darling, I'm here now", Vaggie replied to calm her down.

"Hey! Are we interrupting something?", asked a joking voice, the voice belonging to Angel Dust, who was followed by Sir Pentious and Niffty.

"Hey guys!", said the princess, seeing the others safe and sound, "You're here too".

"Yeah", the porn star began, "Hey, where did Husk go?", he asked.

"I'm here, don't worry", replied the feline demon, who was emerging from some bushes, "I'm alive, if anyone cares", Husk continued.

"Okay, let's see", said Vaggie,"Charlie, Angel, Pentious, Niffty, Husk… where's Alastor?" she wondered as she noticed that one was missing.

"Was someone looking for me?", asked the radio demon in turn, who was standing behind Charlie's girlfriend, who jumped for a moment.

"Again?! What did I say about appearing behind people?", Vaggie said, annoyed.

"My dear, I must correct you. I didn't appear, I simply followed your voices and walked here", Alastor replied with his trademark smile as he began to take a closer look around him. "What a beautiful forest. It brings back so many memories", commented the radio demon.

"By the way, where are we?", asked Pentious.

"I have no idea. I just remember we were in the hotel, watching TV, and now we're here", Charlie replied, though her answer only fueled the questions from those present.

Just then, Angel felt something hit his head.

"Ah! Holy shit!", the spider demon cursed as he felt his head being hit by a hard and sharp object.

"Hey! Look!" exclaimed Niffty, who had immediately run to see what had hit Angel and that something was indeed the VHS case of the movie they were watching.

"What is this thing doing here?" Husk wondered, as Angel Dust picked up the case and began reading sentences that were written in bright red.

"Warning: This film may cause seizures, headaches, nausea, apocalyptic visions, and sometimes…," Angel read until he got to the last possible symptom, "Multi-dimensional travel?!".

"So the rumors about that place were true", said the radio demon.

"Charlie, how did you get a movie with these contraindications?!", asked the spider demon in a nervous tone.

"Angel, calm down!", Vaggie ordered.

"And I can assure you they weren't there before!", the princess of Hell admitted. "I checked the case when I was buying it, and those writings weren't there", Charlie continued as her eye fell on the case, noticing that they weren't the only writings that had just appeared. "Hey! Some more writings have appeared."

"What?", Angel asked as he checked, and indeed it was. There were other writings, but this time they were gold in color and looked handwritten, and the lines looked like they were from a poem. "Wait a minute, these weren't there before", the porn star stated.

"I have a feeling of deja vu", Alastor interjected.

"Upon this tape a tele is spun,

Of worlds unseen and battles won.

Yet heed this rhyme, both old and grim,

For home you'll not find, save by his whim.

From Hell's dark halls to Middle's land,

A path unseen by mortal hand.

The shadows stretch, the trees stand tall,

But one small thing may doom you all.

A Ring of gold, a burden dire,

Its fire burns with dark desire.

To cast it down where flames do rise,

Or lose your way 'neath foreign skies.

Seek the Bearer, small but bold,

Whose heart is pure, whose hand is cold.

A Hobbit's will, A Halfling's grace,

May yet return you to your place.

But beware the Eye that sees afar,

And riders black on steeds of war.

For nine there are who hunt the night,

And one small Ring to bind the light.

So walk the path, both long and steep,

Through forest dark and mountain deep.

And when the fire claims the gold,

Your road shall open, tale foretold".

These were the words written in gold color and which were read by Angel, and when he finished speaking, the case vanished from the spider demon's hands, disappearing forever.

"What the fuck?!", Angel shouted as the case disappeared into thin air.

"Farewell to our only point of reference", commented Sir Pentious.

"Wait", began Vaggie while she was analyzing the verses in his head, "So to get home we have to find and destroy that ring?!", exclaimed the white-haired girl.

"What a great adventure, I'll have to compliment the salesman", Alastor said.

"Are you serious?", Husk asked.

"Of course. After I rip the flesh from his bones, I'll congratulate him on his remains scattered across the floor", added the radio demon, his tone expressing his annoyance at having become someone else's plaything.

"As expected, and anyway we're screwed", commented Husk, given the situation.

"Exactly, how are we supposed to find that fucking ring?! We don't even know where we are! It'll take months if not years to find it and—" Angel couldn't finish his sentence before Vaggie's hand stopped his mouth.

"Shhh", the girl whispered while signaling with her other hand to listen.

Everyone raised their ears and heard a voice, more precisely, a humming voice. Upon hearing that voice, the crew approached the source, but discreetly, to avoid attracting attention. All seven of them stood behind some trees and, looking to their right, in the distance, saw a horse-drawn cart driven by an elderly gentleman with a long gray beard and dressed entirely in gray. The gentleman in question was walking along a sort of path that would soon lead the cart near the trees where the crew had taken refuge.

"He has a familiar figure", affirmed the serpent demon.

"Of course, it's the same one that was on the cover," Husk replied.

"It's true!" exclaimed the little Cyclop, only to be silenced so as not to make any further noise.

"So he might be one of the good guys," Charlie speculated. "Let's try asking him about it."

"Charlie! No!", Vaggie gasped as was blocking her girlfriend, "We can't know if it's really good", warned the white-haired girl.

"Vags, relax, he's just an old man", Angel interjected. "Besides, there's seven of us against one. If he really wants trouble, we'll know how to respond", the spider demon reassured.

"I don't know", Vaggie continued with her skeptical attitude.

"If he doesn't suit you, we can ask someone else, there are so many people to ask anyway", the bartender said sarcastically, pointing to the nothingness around them.

The girl with white hair understood that either they asked that man in gray or they would have to wait for someone else to ask, that it could be better or it could be worse, so they might as well get this tooth out right away.

"Hmm… okay Charlie, let's go ask him about it, but let's keep our guard up," Vaggie warned.

"Okay, let's go", Charlie said.

Meanwhile, the wagon had arrived nearby and was about to catch up with them, with the man in grey lost in his thoughts and humming while holding a pipe in his mouth.

"The road goes on, it has no doors. Far from the door from which it stars. Now the road has gone even further. I must follow it against all odds…", the man in gray sang until he heard a female voice address him.

"Good morning", Charlie said cheerfully, while Vaggie stood to her right, ready to intervene, and the others stood behind the two of them.

At that point the gentleman on the cart stopped the horse.

"What does that mean?", the man began as he turned to his interlocutor, "Are you wishing me a good morning, or are you saying that it's a good morning whether I like it or not, or maybe you're saying that you're feeling good on this particular day, or are you simply saying that today is a day to be good… hmm?", he asked.

"Um… all four things?", the still confused princess tried to answer, "I wish you a good morning and it has to be a good morning, I mean I'm not telling you that today has to be good, I mean, I meant I'm not telling you that today has to be bad, but…", Charlie continued trying not to sound inappropriate until Alastor interrupted.

"What the young lady would like to say is that she wishes you a good morning and that she would like some directions if possible", the radio demon explained.

Meanwhile, the man in the wagon had taken his pipe out of his mouth and was carefully observing the creatures before him. In all his years of traveling through Middle-earth, he had never seen beings that approached even remotely to those in front of him at that moment.

"Sir? Are you well?", asked Sir Pentious, seeing that the man was not responding.

"Yeah, all this isn't free", Angel Dust added as she gestured toward her body with her four arms.

"Forgive me, I've just never seen you around here in all the times I've passed through", the man stated. "Who exactly are you?".

"We are… travellers", Charlie replied, albeit with some reservations.

"Yes, travelers far from home", Husk stated to make the princess's answer more credible.

"Are you lost?", asked the bearded man.

"Oh no, it's just that we like to travel like this, in search of adventure. When we see an unknown route, we dive in without fear", Alastor intervened.

"That explains a lot, in fact I thought I had never seen you in the Shire," said the gentleman in grey.

"Wait, are we in the Shire?", asked Vaggie, who, like the others, widened her eyes when she heard the name of the Shire, which was mentioned in the introduction of the film.

"How small the world is! We had to just go to the Shire", Pentious exclaimed.

"Ah, and for what reason? If I may ask", replied the gentleman in gray.

"Nothing special, we just have someone to meet and ask something", Charlie explained.

"Yes, we have to ask him something very important", Angel added.

"I see", said the man, as he took a puff at his pipe, "Well, I hope you find who you are looking for, and I hope I see you at the party tonight, after all, old Bilbo isn't one to have any qualms about letting in uninvited people."

At the mention of the name Bilbo, a light bulb went off in the heads of all the crew members.

"Oh, but there are so many coincidences here," began Alastor, "We were just looking for Bilbo."

"Really?" the man asked as his gaze began to grow suspicious. "He never told me about you."

"Oh yes, and that we had heard about his adventures and wanted to know the legend for ourselves", Angel Dust made up on the spot, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"Exactly!", added Niffty with an energetic tone.

"Wait a minute", the gentleman began, "Have you by any chance met the old scoundrel's old companions, have you?", the man asked in a softer tone.

"And…exactly", Pentious replied, "They told us so much".

"Ah, and tell me, how is Thorin?", the man asked, his eyes narrowed.

"We haven't spoken to him", Husk replied immediately. "Others told us these stories, but they didn't tell us his name. Our appearance doesn't convey much trust in other peoples".

"I see. Well, I hate to tell you, but Bilbo is very busy with the preparations for the feast, and he won't be available until this evening", explained the gentleman in gray.

"Wonderful, then we could ask Bilbo about the ring", said the radio demon with his amused smile.

"Ring? Well, Bilbo has many rings, he got them on his wanderings, but they are just jewels", replied the lord as he prepared to leave.

"Oh, but this is another class ring", Alastor began. "Some would call it a real treasure", he concluded, placing great emphasis on the last word.

Upon hearing that term, the man in gray acquired a much more serious face as he stepped off the float and stood in front of the entire crew, putting them in awe.

"I don't know who you are or what you want, but know that in this land no one wants trouble", the gentleman in gray began in a tone capable of conveying enormous fear. Some of the demons would swear they saw something like an aura of shadow came out of the man. "While I have no say in the hospitality of Hobbits, I do not think it very wise to go about Middle-earth talking about rings so loudly", the man stated as he turned and returned to the wagon. "And one last thing", said the lord, and immediately everyone snapped to attention at his voice. "The so-called another-class rings are not things to be taken lightly, either in word or deed. You never know who might be listening or watching. That is the only advice I will give you", the bearded man concluded as he walked away. He was putting back on the road, continuing with his humming.

"What a stimulating conversation!", exclaimed Alastor.

"After not even five minutes someone already suspects us, perfect", commented Husk.

"All because someone had to put that ring in there. Damn! Alastor! Did you have to say that?!", Vaggie shouted as she pointed her finger at the radio demon.

"My dear, that man suspected us before. And anyway, how was I supposed to know he'd react like this?" asked the demon in red with his ever-present smile.

"How do you think someone should react when you tell them that their friend is the possible owner of one of the most evil objects ever created in history?!", replied the white-haired girl.

"Speaking of reactions. Husk, how did you know how to respond to that one so quickly?", Angel Dust asked.

"You don't play poker for years without learning to read faces. From the way he was looking at us, I knew it was a trap, and all I had to do was divert attention and invent an excuse to avoid giving specific names, and that was it", the feline demon explained.

"At least he believed it", affirmed Pentious.

"He believed it or he pretended to believe it?", Alastor wondered.

"Okay, but let's look on the bright side", Charlie intervened to calm the tension, "We know that man is going to Bilbo, and that he's throwing a party we can attend, so we still found a way to find the ring", concluded the princess of Hell.

"So now are we going to start stalking that guy?", asked Nifty with her psychotic expression.

"Well, I wouldn't call it stalking exactly, more like following his path and seeing where it leads without getting caught", Charlie replied.

"It's called stalking", the porn star replied.

"Um… okay, let's stalk that man", Charlie said in a defeated tone.

"Hurray!", the Cyclop exulted.

"But let's wait until it gets a bit further away. We'll follow the wagon tracks and move through the trees, just to be safe", said Vaggie, not wanting to take any risks.

Meanwhile Alastor turned around, feeling as if someone was watching him, but all he saw was a crow, which immediately took flight, towards parts unknown.

Chapter Text

The man in grey continued on his way, and he didn't stop even singing songs to accompany the journey with a sweet melody. His singing, however, was not serene and light, on the contrary, his verses were punctuated by the thoughts and doubts that were darkening his mind. The encounter with those strange creatures had left him speechless, but it wasn't just their appearance that raised those doubts. Hearing that tall, red-clad, perpetually smiling being speak of a ring beyond his wildest dreams, comparable to a treasure, had sparked numerous questions in his mind. He knew better than anyone that there were many special rings in Middle-earth, and none of them should be treated as a game. Of all this, the part that most tormented him was that the owner of that ring was his dearest friend. This was compounded by other questions, such as the possibility that the smiling creature was lying and that it was part of a greater deception that intimidated him.

All these doubts and thoughts were put on the back burner when he heard another voice addressing him, this time male and easily recognizable.

"You're late", affirmed a voice that came from a Hobbit with a stocky build, fair skin and on whose face were visible his red cheeks, light eyes and brown curls.

These words brought the bearded gentleman out of his questions, and he immediately turned to his new interlocutor.

"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor early. He arrives precisely when he means to", the man replied in a serious tone and face.

After this exchange of words, the two began to look each other straight in the eyes, almost in a challenging way, until they both started laughing.

"It's wonderful to see you, Gandalf!", cried Frodo joyfully as he leaped into the wizard's arms.

"And I would have missed your Uncle Bilbo's birthday?", asked Gandalf with equal happiness, as if he had momentarily forgotten their previous meeting.

At that point the Hobbit decided to climb into the cart and stand beside Gandalf, so that he could talk and argue with him while the latter went towards Hobbiton to meet his old friend.

"Well," began Gandalf, "how is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a particularly magnificent party."

"You know Bilbo, he turned this party into a mess", Frodo admitted with amusement, as he was well aware of his uncle's behavior.

"Well, he should be happy about that", commented the wizard, also aware of Bilbo's character.

"Half the Shire has been invited. And the other half will show up anyway", said the Hobbit.

"And not only them", replied Gandalf in a somewhat colder tone.

"What do you mean, 'not just them'? Who else is supposed to come?", Frodo asked, confused, not understanding who the wizard was referring to. He had also noticed a change in tone in his voice, which made him suspicious.

"Well, let's just say that along the way I met some peculiar travellers, who expressed their interest in meeting and speaking with your uncle Bilbo", confessed the wizard as he took a puff on his pipe.

"Really?", asked Frodo, "Who were they? Men? Elves? Dwarves? Bilbo's old companions from adventure have come for the occasion?", continued the Hobbit, trying to understand who these travellers were.

"No, no, none of these… alas", began Gandalf, his words increasing Frodo's suspicion, "In fact, I don't know what to call them. In years and in all the years I have traveled Middle-earth, I have never come into contact with creatures like this", he admitted.

"Great Gandalf coming across creatures he himself doesn't know, that's quite an event", joked Frodo, which also elicited a slight chuckle from the wizard.

"You said they were looking for Bilbo. Did they seem dangerous or threatening?", the halfling asked, this time in a tone that betrayed his fear for his uncle's safety.

"Why do you think that?", the sorcerer asked in turn.

"I know you, when you speak of someone there is always a reason, and given the way you are introducing them to me, I am somewhat suspicious", replied the Hobbit.

"More than dangerous or threatening, the more appropriate word is bizarre. One of them must have been as tall as a medium-sized hobbit and had a single eye in the center of its face", the wizard began.

"It doesn't seem so bad to me", commented Frodo.

"Then another had grey skin", Gandalf continued.

"Grey skin?", Frodo repeats, wondering what creature it could be. "It couldn't be a troll because of the sunlight, so I'd say an orc, but I don't know of any female orcs".

"Furthermore, she had no fangs or pointed ears. She looked more like a human woman than one of those hideous creatures. Then there were other members, one tall, furry, and with four arms, another halfway between a man and a cat, and yet another taller one, with small deer antlers on his head and a smile I've never seen on any living creature, good or bad", added the sorcerer.

"Apart from the last one, all the others seem to me, at least at first, like creatures like so many in Middle-earth in behavior", replied the Hobbit, a little more calmly, since the travellers in question did not seem like threats, at least not yet.

"And there was one that looked like a giant reptile", said Gandalf.

"Giant reptile? Like a dragon?", Frodo asked, halfway between curiosity and a slight hint of concern, given Bilbo's history with dragons.

"No, more like a snakeman. Definitely less threatening than a dragon", the gray-clad wizard replied, which calmed the halfling again.

"Finally there was the one who must have been their leader. Tall, with skin whiter than that of the Elves, and long blond hair. A cursory glance could have mistaken her for an Elf herself", Gandalf concluded his description of those strange travelers.

"And why did they want to see Bilbo?", asked Frodo.

"They said they had heard the stories of his adventures, and that they wanted to speak to him in person", replied the sorcerer.

"I can understand them", the Hobbit began. "After all, a Hobbit participating in the defeat of a dragon certainly doesn't go unnoticed", he stated.

"Be that as it may, don't be surprised if you find them at the feast tonight, if you see them you'll know", said Gandalf.

"Well, good luck to them", Frodo began in a wry tone. "It's becoming a bit of a chore for me to meet him outside the house lately. To tell the truth, Bilbo has become a bit strange. More than usual, in fact. He started to shut himself up in his study. He spends hours poring over old maps, when he thinks I'm not looking. He's up to something", said the Hobbit, who didn't know how to explain his uncle's strange behavior, but he sensed something was up.

Frodo's final words brought Gandalf back to his thoughts. Could those travelers be telling the truth? Could Bilbo be the possessor of some ring, and that this behavior was a consequence of that object? On the other hand, Gandalf knew that Bilbo was planning to leave the Shire, and he knew that he was keeping this a secret from everyone, including Frodo. The wizard didn't know whether this behavior was simply a result of not wanting to reveal his departure for a while longer, or whether there was something darker underlying it.

"All right, keep your secrets", said Frodo, which brought Gandalf out of his ruminations.

"What?", asked the wizard with slight confusion.

"But I know you have something to do with it too", added the halfling.

"Oh, poor me!", the sorcerer complained.

"Before you came, we Bagginses were well thought of", Frodo said with a hint of pride.

"Ah, yes?", replied Gandalf skeptically.

"Never had any adventures or done any unexpected things", added the Hobbit.

"If you're referring to the incident with the real dragon, I was involved very little. I just gave your uncle a little push out the door", exonerated himself the wizard dressed in gray.

"Anyway, you are labeled a disturber of the peace", Frodo informed amusedly.

"Just think. Well, I have a feeling this list is going to get longer very soon", replied Gandalf as he took another drag on his pipe.

Finally, the cart reached Brandywine Bridge, where guard Bingo Bolger was busy keeping watch, as he claimed, or, as the others said, dozing. The conductor's lazy eyes saw the shape of a cart approaching, and after a few seconds, the person riding in it became visible. Bingo had intended to get up at the sight of Gandalf, given the slight suspicion he had of him, given his constant comings and goings, but when he saw Frodo, he decided to let it pass, since there was a Baggins to stand by.

So, the two passed without any problems and could already see Bilbo and Frodo's house from the hill above Hobbiton.

As soon as the cart driven by Gandalf passed over the bridge, immediately Hobbit children ran towards the wizard, filled with joy.

"Gandalf! The fireworks!" shouted the little Hobbits, knowing the wizard and his pyrotechnic ability.

At first it nothing happened, which made the various children show a disappointed expression, however, from one moment to the next, from the back of the cart sparks and explosions could be seen and heard and immediately the group of children exploded in a roar of exultation, while some older Hobbits looked at everything with suspicion.

After a while, Frodo decided to get off the wagon and continue on his way.

"I've arrived", Frodo began. "See you at the feast, and let these strange guests you speak of show up. I'm so glad you're back", the halfling admitted.

"So do I, my boy", replied the wizard as Frodo walked away. "So do I", he repeated as he continued on his way, his mind drifting back into his own thoughts.

The Green Dragon came and passed the inn with his cart, which made him stop his horse.

"A wizard also needs a moment's rest", Gandalf stated as he decided to enter the inn, both to engage in some conversation over a mug of ale and to put his mind in order.

While Gandalf and Frodo were on the wagon, someone was following their trail, namely the hotel crew, who had hidden in the bush for as long as they could, then, when they found themselves in the most inhabited and least rural area of the Shire, they had to continue on the main road, luckily there was no one around at the time.

The group made sure not to lose sight of the cart driven by the wizard, while maintaining a certain distance, so as not to take any risks, and the demons wondered who the young Hobbit was that Gandalf had decided to take with him.

"And who is that?", asked the snake demon.

"He must be a friend of his", the white-haired girl tried to guess.

"He's definitely not her boyfriend", Angel joked with a sly grin.

"Could it be connected to Bilbo?", Alastor wondered, since he, like the others, was too far away to hear the conversations that Frodo and Gandalf were exchanging.

However, at one point the wagon passed over Brandywine Bridge, and the crew would have to pass through there as well to continue.

"Okay, guys, now we have to find a way through. Be natural", Charlie said as she prepared to speak to controller Bingo Bolder.

The princess approached the inspector's station, consisting of a chair, a table, and a sign that read "Passage prohibited to unauthorized foreigners". Sitting in the chair was this plump hobbit, wearing a green jacket with an embroidered badge of a stylized bridge. In his hand was a staff, though it was more for support than defense. Around his neck was a whistle, and on his head was a large hat to protect himself from the sun. The only light his sleepy eyes could see was the end of his pipe when it was lit.

The aforementioned eyes at a certain point saw figures approaching, but these figures were not Hobbits, Humans, Elves, or Dwarves. They were nothing Bingo had ever seen in his career as a guardian, which brought him out of his semi-drowsy state.

"Stop! Who goes there?", he ordered, though his tone betrayed a mixture of curiosity, laziness, and a slight fear.

"Hey, sweetie…", Angel began, but was quickly shushed by Vaggie.

"Angel!", warned Vaggie the porn star.

"What's up? Charlie said we were naturals", Angel Dust justified herself.

"That's actually what she said", Alastor interjected, just to annoy Charlie's girlfriend a little.

"Okay, let's calm down", Charlie said as she motioned for the group to regain some composure, before going to discuss with Bingo.

"Hello, Mr. Controller", the Princess of Hell began cheerfully. "Could my group and I please cross the bridge?", she asked, keeping her eyes on where the cart was going so she wouldn't lose sight of it.

"Hmm… I don't know, I've never seen you around here. Who are you?", asked the guard.

"We are… travellers", Charlie replied. "We come from a very far away place and we would like to be able to continue", she continued with a nervous laugh as he watched the wagon get further and further away.

"It depends, we have a saying in the Shire that strangers can bring one of two things, either gifts or trouble. What do you bring?", asked Bingo.

"Um… we… bring…", stammered the princess, not knowing how to respond.

"Gifts!", Alastor replied without hesitation, "We have heard that a member of your community will be celebrating his birthday today, and since we have heard of his incredible exploits, we thought we would honor such a legend with great gifts", concluded the radio demon, who wanted to unblock the situation as soon as possible.

"Ah, yes! Today is Bilbo's birthday, but where are the gifts?", asked the conductor, not seeing the aforementioned gifts.

"Well, they're surprise gifts, and what a surprise it would be if someone saw them beforehand, and then maybe some prying eyes would ruin the whole thing. You certainly wouldn't want to ruin the party, I hope", Alastor replied while his eyes started to glow a brighter red.

"Hmm… okay, you've convinced me, you can pass", the bridge guard communicated.

"Oh, very kind", commented Alastor as he regained his classic appearance and he and the rest of the group continued on.

"Wow, that was easy", Pentious said.

"Yeah, we could have been criminals, smugglers, or terrorists, but with a few words he let us through", Angel agreed.

"If this is how safe the place is, I'm surprised no one has come and raided everything yet", Husk added.

"Yes, it's strange, but let's focus, we have to follow that man", Vaggie said.

The group set out again on the trail of that wagon, but as they did so they passed through more inhabited areas of the Shire, where cultivated fields extended and where the houses were built under the hills and almost all had their own vegetable gardens. Here there were Hobbits who carried out jobs of all kinds. There were those who tended the fields, those who cared for the flowers and ornamental plants, those who carried sacks full of vegetables, those who took care of animals such as cows, pigs or chickens and those who fished in the streams. The demons found themselves passing through the main road, where everyone could see them, and the Hobbits, at the sight of the crew, began to look at her with a very suspicious look.

"What are those?", a Hobbit asked his wife.

"I don't know, dear. I've never seen them", she replied.

"Hey! Lily, have you seen the new arrivals?", called out another Hobbit who was working in the fields.

"No, where are they?" she asked as he turned and looked in the direction indicated, "Damn! What are they!?".

And many other comments, all peppered with dirty looks and whispers that didn't seem to contain any flattering words.

"Um, am I the only one who feels particularly watched? And not in a good way", casked Angel Dust, noticing those looks, which explicitly communicated mistrust at best or downright contempt at worst.

"Yeah, they don't seem very happy to have us around", added Pentious, who was starting to feel uncomfortable because of the tense atmosphere he sensed around him.

"Good thing that guy in grey said these Hobbits are hospitable", commented the feline demon.

"Hey! Mother, look, a dragon!", exclaimed a young Hobbit when he saw Sir Pentious and his reptilian form.

"A dragon?! Where?!", asked Sir Pentious himself.

"He's talking about you", Husk informed him.

"Huh? But I'm not a dragon", replied the serpent demon.

"Well, you can't be worse than an inventor", commented Alastor amused.

"Hey!", replied Pentious.

Meanwhile the Hobbit's mother arrived, sure that it was only a fantasy of the boy.

"My son, there are no dra-", she couldn't finish his sentence when his eyes saw the cobra, "A dragon! Lotho! Go back into the house!", the mother ordered as she took her son by the hand and dragged him inside the door, making sure to close it as best as possible.

Just then the children came out of the fields, still joyful from having just seen the fireworks, and when they saw the demons, unlike the older Hobbits, their eyes filled with wonder and they immediately went towards them, driven by curiosity.

The demons obviously stopped, both because those who were blocking them were children, and the idea of harming children just to clear the way was something that chilled some of the group's blood. Those who weren't so scrupulous knew they were already in a bad situation and there was no point in making it worse. So the only thing they could do was wait for the little Hobbits to tire themselves out, so they could continue following the wagon, which was barely visible.

"Wow! Are you some kind of fairy?!", a little Hobbit asked Niffty in amazement.

"Yes! And you are a princess!", exclaimed the little Cyclops, who noticed that the little girl had mud and dirt stains on her face and clothes, "Hey! A princess can't go around all dirty!", continued Niffty as she began to clean the little Hobbit's stains with her apron, which made her feel ticklish.

"Look, Daisy! A cat!" said a little Hobbit as he climbed onto Husk's back, much to his annoyance.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!" the feline demon cursed.

"Husk, the language! They're children!" Charlie immediately warned.

"I wonder if he purrs?" Daisy wondered as she climbed onto the bartender's head and began petting him like a normal cat.

"Stop that right now…" Husk began, then began to relax and actually purr.

"Oh, so you can be a good little kitty when you want to be", commented Alastor.

"Why do you have such big ears?", a little girl asked the radio demon, who whirled around.

"To listen to you better", he replied with his toothy smile.

"And why do you have such big eyes?", continued little girl.

"To see you better", the demon replied again.

"And why do you have such a big mouth?", asked the Hobbit.

"So that I can…", Alastor began.

"Alastor!", both Charlie and Vaggie shouted.

"...smile brightly, of course", the radio demon concluded.

"Better already", commented the girl, who felt something tugging at her skirt.

The girl turned and saw a little Hobbit with a basket full of roses and other flowers.

"I wanted to give you this", the boy began as he took a tricolor violet from the basket. "I think it would look nice in your hair," he admitted with a slight blush on his face.

"Um…ok, thanks", replied Vaggie, a little uncertain, then she took the flower and put it in her long white hair and smiled at the child, who became even more blushing on her face.

"Awww, that's adorable!", said Charlie, seeing the interaction between his girlfriend and that little Hobbit.

"Hey! Vags, looks like you have a fan. Not to brag, but I have two," Angel Dust replied as he reached out with two arms a little Hobbit boy and a little Hobbit girl.

"You're soft!", commented the little girl.

"Your clothes are beautiful", said the other Hobbit.

"Thanks, I know, and I know how to improve yours too", replied the porn star, who took a pen for the autographs from one of her pockets and wrote his name on the two's clothes, "There, now you'll be the coolest in the Shire".

"A dragon! A dragon!", exclaimed some little Hobbits at the sight of Pentious.

"Um, sorry, but I'm not a dragon, I'm some kind of snake", the demon explained.

"Spit fire! Spite fire!", they shouted as encouragement to get their supposed dragon to breathe flame.

"Oh, now who's going to explain to him that I don't breathe flames", Pentious said to himself as he put a hand over his face.

"Excuse me, are you an elf?", a little girl asked Charlie, who bent down on her knees to pick up the little girl.

"Well, not really, but can Elves do this?", she asked as he flicked a few sparks off the tip of his index finger.

"Hurrah! Fireworks!", cheered the Hobbit, and the others, seeing the sparks, were also overcome with joy.

Seeing this, Charlie's heart filled with joy for the smile she had brought to those creatures, the same smile she hoped to one day see on the faces of the guests at her hotel.

But that moment was interrupted by the screams of some adult Hobbits, that is, the parents of the aforementioned children.

"Get your hands off my little girl!", a Hobbit shouted as she pushed away Niffty and dragged his daughter away.

"At least I don't leave a little girl looking like she just came out of a pigsty!", replied the little cyclops.

"Let my children go, you monster!", a Hobbit exclaimed at Angel.

"Okay, don't worry", the porn star replied as she put the two little ones down.

"Daddy, look", said the little Hobbit girl proudly as she showed the writing on her dress.

"What?! Come home right now, maybe we can still wash it", the father reacted when he saw the ink writing.

"But we like it",said the little girl's brother.

"How many times have I told you not to accept anything from strangers", the father concluded as he took his children by the hand.

"Leave our children alone, you maniac!", some parents shouted as they forcibly removed their children from the fur of Husk, who felt pain when he felt some hairs being pulled out.

"Hey! I didn't do anything! They did everything!", replied the feline demon.

"You always say that!", shouted one of the group of parents.

"Get away from that reptile! It could be dangerous!", warned other parents, namely those whose children were around Sir Pentious.

"But the dragon is our friend", one of the group tried to say, before the parents started protesting again, so they all decided to leave, which made the snake feel a little sorry for those children.

"Doderic! What are you doing?!", a mother shouted as she walked toward her son with a basket full of flowers.

"Nothing! I just gave a flower…", the son began.

"What?!" the mother gasped. "Hey, you! Give him back that violet!", the mother ordered Vaggie.

"But Mom, I gave it to her!", Doderic tried to protest.

"Yes, of course! That's what he told you to tell everyone", replied the Hobbit. "Give him back that violet, I said!".

"Okay, okay, don't get too worked up!", said the white-haired girl as she took off the flower, which was then brutally snatched from her hand by the lady, who then walked away, grabbing her son by the ear.

"Ogre skin", the lady whispered, as she walked away, towards Vaggie, seeing his gray skin.

"Put my daughter down this instant!", shrieked a Hobbit when he saw his little girl in Charlie's arms, and Charlie promptly obeyed.

"But Daddy! She can make fireworks like Gandalf!", said the little Hobbit, trying to defend the princess of Hell.

"Tansy, they always do that! Now go back!", the Hobbit ordered, and Tansy decided not to push things too far.

"And that goes for you too, Esme! Get away from that thing!", Esme's mother shouted, referring to Alastor.

"But why?!", Esme replied.

"My dear, you better listen to your mother this time", the radio demon intervened. "You never know who you might be facing."

"See! He says so too! Come here!", her mother shouted again, and Esme, like the other children, decided to listen to her parental figure.

In the end, the group stood there, still, under the gaze of the halflings, stunned by what had just happened.

"Um… shall we proceed?", Pentious asked hesitantly.

"Oh, yes, let's go ahead", Charlie replied bitterly.

Eventually, the entire crew set off again in search of the gray-clad man's wagon, albeit at a slightly slower pace.

The whole scene was witnessed by Bingo Boger, who immediately ran away to tell what had happened.

Chapter Text

Gandalf approached the massive wooden door and opened it, entering the inn. As soon as he stepped through the door, he was hit by a smell that was a blend of various fragrances, including that of freshly baked bread, beer, pipe weed, and the spices that flavored the various rabbit stews served at the tables.

The wizard took a few steps on the stone floor, worn by the footsteps of various patrons over the years, and approached the counter, where Barley the innkeeper was standing, cleaning some glasses.

"I'm in for a shock! Gandalf! It's been a long time since I've seen you", Barley exclaimed joyfully upon seeing the wizard.

"Eh, I've been a bit busy", Gandalf replied ironically as he went to lean on the dark oak bar, beyond which were arranged several casks of ale and cider with brass taps.

"Apparently, even a wizard doesn't have it easy these days", the innkeeper joked as he put down the rag. "Please, sit in your place. It's been untouched since you were last here".

Gandalf went at once to his place, which consisted of a padded armchair placed in the corner of the fireplace, where the fire burned always, winter as well as summer, and where there was a portrait of Bilbo after his journey, demonstrating how much he was loved in the Shire, and beneath which was a plaque engraved with the words "There is no place like home".

The magician walked over to his personal chair and sat down, making himself comfortable, and was later joined by Barley with an order pad.

"So, Gandalf, what shall I get you? The usual? A nice Golden Apple Cider? Served in a wooden cup, just the way you like it, of course", asked the innkeeper, already ready to write the name of that drink on the slip of paper in his notebook.

"I actually came intending to drink some Rivendell Herbal Tea", the wizard replied, which made Barley raise an eyebrow.

"Tea? Are you worried?", asked the bartender, who knew Gandalf well, and knew that depending on what he ordered, his mood could be discerned. If the wizard drank tea, it meant he was in a state of worry or reflection. "Has something happened out there?", asked Barley, referring to what was happening outside the Shire as "out there".

"I am thinking more about what is happening here than what is happening out there", replied Gandalf.

"What do you mean? What's going on here?", said the innkeeper with a slight concern.

"Let's just say I've come across some very peculiar travellers", confessed the grey-clad wizard.

"What kind of travelers? Were they Elves, Dwarves, or something else?", the bartender asked, still with concern but also curiosity.

"As I told Frodo, I don't know what kind of creatures they are either", said Gandalf.

"Are you suspicious of them?", Barley said, stepping closer and speaking softly so as not to be heard.

"I can't say with absolute certainty that they pose a threat, but at the same time I can't say that they are harmless. Only time will tell whether these individuals are trustworthy or not", the wizard muses.

Just then the door of the inn flew open, revealing Bingo Bolger, who was exhausted, given his plump physique and the frantic rush he had made to reach the place as quickly as possible.

"Hey! You'll never guess what happened!", exclaimed the bridge keeper, still panting.

"What? Have you heroically stopped some terrifying monster again, thus saving the Shire?", old Noakes asked sarcastically, a remark that was accompanied by a few laughs, since everyone knew Bingo often tended to exaggerate his stories and was well aware of his less than courageous spirit. It wasn't so much his lack of courage that was annoying, but rather the fact that he hid it with gargantuan pride.

"No! I stopped some bizarre creatures!", Bolger began. "Or rather, I stopped them and then asked them a few questions before letting them continue, but I stopped them anyway", he corrected himself.

"Something tells me that moment has come", commented the wizard as he settled down to better hear the bridge keeper's tale, while Barley went to the counter to prepare Gandalf's tea.

"Just another Bingo", complained old Noakes.

"I wonder why people have so much respect for a cowardly do-nothing like that", added Lobelia Sackville contemptuously.

"As if there weren't enough problems already in the Shire, now we have these outsiders bringing their troubles", said Mr Proudfoot.

"No way", said a voice from the younger Hobbits' table, "Finally, someone's coming to stir up this graveyard", continued the halfling.

From the young people's table, some Hobbits also got up to approach Bingo and ask him more about these strange travellers.

"So Bingo, what were they like? Were they tall? Did they have long beards or wear shining armor?", asked a Hobbit.

"Well", the bridge keeper began, "they were all different. One was tall, with pale skin and long blond hair".

"Was she an Elf?", asked -manwell built and with brown hair, who had always been fascinated by these creatures and their history and culture.

"It looked like it, but it didn't have pointed ears and had bright red cheeks, like a doll's. And then another one with little antlers, deer ears, and a smile that looked like a wolf's, if wolves could smile", Bolger continued.

"Hmm, I smell trouble", commented an old Hobbit, "Never trust someone who is always smiling".

"And then there was a cyclops, which was smaller than a hobbit, and there was a hairy creature with four arms", added the controller.

"Four hands, eh? Well, I could use some right now", said Mrs. Cotton, who was busy preparing the inn's meals, to urge her two helpers to speed up their work.

"Also, there was a being that was half man and half cat and another that was a reptile", Bingo continued.

"A reptile? Like a dragon?!", asked a Hobbit in amazement.

"What are you talking about?! Dragons are giants, if one had come we would have seen it coming", replied one of his companions sitting nearby.

"And finally there was a girl with gray skin and an 'X' over one eye", Bolger concluded.

"Grey skin? Like orcs?!", exclaimed a Hobbit woman in fear.

"And since when have there been female orcs?", asked another half-man.

"Well, I wouldn't want to be a male orc if there were female orcs", quipped an old Hobbit, which made several people in the inn laugh.

"Yes, it is they", said Gandalf to himself, recognizing the creatures he had encountered in the Controller's descriptions.

"Nothing good can come from people like that", commented Noakes as he took the chess pieces and arranged them for Mr. Proudfoot to play.

"But that's not the most incredible thing. The most incredible thing is what happened next with some of the children", Bingo Bolger said.

"Children?! Did they harm children?!", exclaimed an indignant old Hobbit lady.

"No, no, quite the opposite. The children approached them, and they were kind to them, until their parents arrived. These travelers hadn't done anything wrong, in fact, it was the children who wanted to be with them", Bingo replied.

Upon hearing this, everyone in the inn began to argue among themselves, and various opinions emerged, which could be divided into two categories. Some continued to suspect them and believed it was best to kick them out, while others were willing to give them a chance, or at least the benefit of the doubt.

"I have to go now. After all, someone has to watch who crosses the bridge", Bingo said as he hurried out of the inn and back to his post on the Brandywine Bridge.

As Bingo came out of the inn, the Hobbit who had approached him turned and saw the wizard, which left him astonished.

"Gandalf! We didn't even hear you coming. Tell the truth, you used some tricks, didn't you?", the Hobbit joked when he approached the wizard.

"Peregrin Took," the wizard in gray remembered the name. "I see you are very busy these days too", he said ironically.

"Certainly, going from one side of the Shire to the other and then back to the inn is a tiring journey", replied Peregrin, called Pippin, who turned to the bar, "Hey! Barley, another ale, put it all on the tab".

"All we needed was Gandalf and his magic tricks," thought Mr. Proudfoot to himself as he was losing the chess game to old Noakes, as was his wont.

"Look who we see, Bilbo's wizard friend", commented Lobelia, who knew the wizard well enough, as he had once already stood in her way between her and Bilbo's house and his possessions.

"Tell me, Gandalf, do you know nothing about these unexpected travellers? Or is it your fault as usual?", asked Pippin, who saw some sort of connection between those creatures and the wizard.

"For one of those few times, I had nothing to do with it", the wizard replied.

"Hmm… I'll pretend to believe you", replied the light brown Hobbit.

While the two were arguing, the innkeeper brought ale to Pippin and tea to Gandalf.

"Tell me, Pippin", the wizard began as he tasted his drink, "How are the preparations for the feast going?", Gandalf asked, both for his own sake and to put those thoughts of those creatures out of his head for a moment.

"Actually, they're going a bit slowly", Pippin replied. "They're already looking for more hands who can be helpful, and they need to find them quickly since the party is tonight".

"I understand", commented Gandalf sipped his tea, "Well, I'm sure someone will come forward", he said confidently.

"I think so too, after all, Bilbo is loved and respected by all the Shire", replied the Hobbit, "Or at least by most of the Shire," he added this part in a whisper and nodded towards Lobelia, which made the wizard chuckle a little.

"It's time for me to go", Gandalf said after drinking the last drop of his drink, and headed to the counter to pay.

"Here you go, Barley", the wizard said, placing some silver coins on the counter. "And one last thing: if these travelers happen to come here, treat them normally, but don't let your guard down too much. Perhaps these strangers aren't so bad, and I sense they could be useful".

"If you say so, I trust you, Gandalf",replied the innkeeper.

At that point the sorcerer headed towards the wooden door.

"See you at the party!", exclaimed Pippin, raising his mug of beer.

"Of course", replied Gandalf, and walked away.

After leaving the inn, the wizard in grey climbed back into the cart and set off again towards Bilbo's house.

While Gandalf was almost there, others were far away, namely the hotel crew.

"And… lost", said the spider demon, who, being one of the tallest of the group, had the ability to see objects at greater distances than the others.

"Well, where to now?", asked Husk, knowing that following that wagon was their only option and now they'll have to find an alternative, which irritated him, as he was already thinking about the possible misadventures that would follow.

"We had to do one damn thing!", exclaimed Vaggie, also annoyed, but at the fact that they had missed their target, which was literally an old man on a cart.

"Come on Vaggie, after all, we were stopped by children, we couldn't react violently!", her girlfriend Charlie reminded her.

"Yes, you're right", the white-haired girl admitted, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"Maybe not the children, but for those assholes of their parents I would have made an exception", commented Angel.

"Angel! Okay, maybe they weren't very kind…", began the princess of hell.

"Very kind?! They called us monsters, maniacs, and treated us like garbage", the porn star interrupted.

"Okay, but you have to understand that it's not common for them to have people like us show up around here. So even though their reactions weren't the best, they can still be understood, right?", Charlie asked, trying to be the voice of reason.

"No", Husk replied curtly.

"Absolutely not", Angel agreed.

"Hmm… no", Alastor replied.

"They could have behaved better", commented Sir Pentious.

"I hope their houses fill up with cockroaches", wished the little cyclops.

"Oh, all right, when we get back to the hotel we should focus on empathy", said the princess of Hell, as the group continued on their way to find a way to reach Bilbo.

After several minutes of walking, also punctuated by glances and whispers from some Hobbits, the group found themselves passing in front of the "Green Dragon" inn, which was recognizable by its wooden sign bearing the name with the drawing of a green dragon, whose tail was inserted between some letters.

Seeing the inn, Angel had an idea.

"Hey guys!", he said to get the group's attention, "I found a way to get information without stalking anymore", the porn star added as she pointed to the sign with her four arms.

"Seriously, Angel?", Vaggie asked skeptically. "Does this sound like the time to start drinking?!".

"No! I mean, maybe that too, but I mean, an inn is the ideal place to seek information. Somewhere everyone hangs out and whose alcohol might make them more inclined to sing, if you know what I mean", Angel Dust replied with a slight smile on his face.

"Well, I like the idea", affirmed Husk.

"But who would have thought", Alastor began, "And anyway, the idea Angel proposed isn't so stupid after all".

"Considering that's the highest compliment you can give, thank you", Angel replied.

"We don't have many alternatives, so I think it can work", reflected Pentious.

"For me it's just an excuse to drink", insisted Vaggie, knowing the spider's personality.

"Well, it means we'll kill two birds with one stone, and then you always see in movies that the protagonist always goes to an inn or something like that to get information", said the porn star.

"Angel, this is not a movie", began Vaggie, who, after a few moments, put a hand to her face, remembering where exactly they were.

"So, are we going in or not?" asked Angel Dust.

"Okay, come on, just enough time to get some information", Charlie said as she approached the door to open it.

Inside the inn, meanwhile, Barley was still thinking about Bingo's descriptions and Gandalf's instructions. Barley was impressed by those creatures and was partly curious to see them, although he was also slightly afraid, given the descriptions that spoke of disturbing smiles and reptilian men. But if Gandalf said to treat them like normal customers, he would do so, because he knew the wizard was a very wise man, who had a vision far greater than any Hobbit in the Shire.

Just as the innkeeper was lost in thought, his ears recognized the sound of the main door moving and instinctively he turned to welcome whoever it was.

His eyes could already see the silhouette of some Hobbit crossing the threshold, but it wasn't. As soon as the door opened, the entire inn could see the hotel crew in the flesh.

"Good morning…", Barley had already started, until he found the group of demons in front of him.

"Good morning to you too, my good man", Alastor replied to that unfinished greeting, recognizing the innkeeper's astonishment and a hint of fear, something he didn't mind at all.

"Um… hello, we are travellers and we would like to take a seat", said the princess, trying to sound more diplomatic than ever.

"C-Certainly", Barley muttered, then regained his welcoming nature, aided by Gandalf's words. "Take a seat at those tables", he said, indicating some wooden tables with red-and-white checkered tablecloths and wooden chairs with carvings of leaves and mushrooms.

"Thank you", Charlie replied as she and the others moved to their seats.

As they made their way to their table, the group members were looked up and down by everyone present.

"Look at them, they're so strange", commented one of the inn's patrons, "Look, that one has horns", he said, speaking of Alastor.

"Look at the clothes one of them is wearing, the one with four arms. Do you think they look appropriate?", whispered an old Hobbit.

"Oh, why is it a girl?", asked one of his companions at the table.

"But that blonde one really looks an Elf", said a Hobbit.

"If it weren't for those doll-like cheeks", added a friend of hers.

"The one with the grey skin doesn't look like an ogre, in fact, she's even cute", admitted one halfman.

"Is that really a dragon?", one of those present asked the person standing next to him, seeing the serpent demon.

"It can't be, dragons are giants and they are aggressive and ruthless creatures. If it were really a dragon, it would already be destroying everything", replied an old Hobbit.

Finally, the hotel staff reached the table and could hear some comments as they sat down. Some of the comments were very rude, while others were openly suspicious.

"Wow, not even exorcists look at you that way", commented Angel as he took his seat.

"Yeah, at least they smile at you, even if they do it because they're thinking about how to make you suffer as much as possible before killing you", agreed, at least in part, Pentious.

"For me it's not that different from my normal walk", affirmed the radio demon.

"Maybe because you're a cannibalistic Overlord and ex-serial killer?", Vaggie said impassively.

"Yes, that could be it", Alastor replied.

"So, what shall I bring you?", asked Barley. "Don't be afraid, it's all delicious, I know that firsthand", added the innkeeper as he patted his stomach, a testament to years of sampling beers and various dishes.

"Oh, no, we don't want anything, also because we don't have money", affirmed Vaggie.

"Don't worry, miss, the first order is on the house", Barley replied. "And if we want to be honest, there are plenty of people here who have had bills to pay off for months".

"Hey! Barley, I heard you!", exclaimed a Hobbit at the young people's table. "I told you, next time we will pay for everything".

"Yes, yes, of course," said the innkeeper. "So, what do you want?", asked Barley, returning to talk to the crew.

"Oh, well, in that case…", the porn star began.

"Angel!", Vaggie immediately retorted.

"Come on Vags, do you really want to spit on hospitality?", the spider demon asked provocatively.

"Plus we've been doing nothing but walking in the sun since we've been here", Husk added.

"And there's nothing like a glass of something strong to make a bird sing, but they don't tend to drink alone", commented Alastor cryptically, to remember why they were there.

Finally, the white-haired girl, overwhelmed by these arguments, pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation, but still allowed the others to proceed.

"Okay, go", Vaggie finally said.

"Oh, finally!", Angel exulted, "Then I'll have a Martini".

"I'd like a whiskey, something you can drink with class", added Alastor.

"I am the strongest thing you have", the feline demon said bluntly.

Hearing these orders, Barley made a face that fully showed his confusion.

"Martini? Whiskey? What are those? Drinks from your area?", asked the innkeeper.

"Well, yeah, but don't you know them here?", Pentious asked, to which Barley responded with a shake of his head from left to right.

"Ah, so what do you have?", asked the spider demon.

"We have Dragon's Fire Mead. It's a strong brew, it causes a slight burning sensation in the throat, and it has a sweet taste with a spicy aftertaste", Barley explained.

"Hmm… that might be okay", said Alastor, "I'll take this".

"Perfect, you won't regret it", affirmed the innkeeper.

"You better", replied the radio demon.

"Okay?", the Hobbit began, slightly confused as to what his interlocutor meant. "Then we have Elf's Tears Wine, a white wine with a dash of herbal liqueur. Elegant and sophisticated".

"This inspires me", commented Angel Dust, deciding his ordination.

"Okay, and for those who want something strong, we have Blueberry Spirit, a liqueur made from fermented and distilled blueberries", continued the innkeeper.

"I'll take this one, let's see how strong it is", Husk chose, curious to see what the term "strong" meant to those people.

"A brave spirit, huh?", commented Barley, "Then we have the Rabbit's Lipe Light Ale, a light beer, for those who prefer the taste rather than the thrill", Barley explained.

"It seems appropriate to me", commented Pentious as he confirmed his order.

"Well, what shall I bring for you?", the bartender asked the girls in the group.

"Oh, no. I'm not having anything", Vaggie declined.

"Yes, forget it," Angel Dust began, speaking to the innkeeper, "She's allergic to fun".

"Don't start, Angel", warned the white-haired girl.

"I'm just telling the truth, if that's not the case, take the Blueberry Spirit, and prove that you're a person who can have fun".

"I don't fall for your games", Charlie's girlfriend replied.

"As expected", the porn star concluded, much to Vaggie's annoyance.

"Gentlemen and ladies, there's no need to get so worked up. We also have non-alcoholic drinks, but they're every bit as good as beers", Barley began, trying to calm everyone down. "Like Fairy Water, with flower petals and ice, very refreshing on these sunny days. We also have Hazelnut Milk, whose creaminess is combined with chopped hazelnuts and cinnamon, and then we have Herbal Tea, hot and relaxing", the bartender explained.

"Fairy Water interests me very much, especially with a name like that. I'll take that", said the princess of Hell. "You take it too,Vaggie?".

"Hmm… okay, come on", the white-haired girl said in agreement.

"Perfect", commented Barley as he continued writing in the notebook.

"And what are you having, Nif-", Charlie began, until he noticed that the little governess was not present, "Niffty?", asked the princess, when she heard something moving under the table.

Charlie lowered her head and saw Niffty busy cleaning the floor. She immediately took her and she reported her above the table.

"I take Hazelnut Milk, please", said Niffty with a maniacal smile on her face.

"Okay, everything will be right there", Barley concluded as he walked away.

The demons began to wait, and in the meantime they were kept under observation by the customers at two tables.

"They're up to something, I can feel it", complained old Noakes as he prepared for yet another game of chess.

"We should call the mayor and tell him to kick them out", commented Lobelia, "I am in clear danger to the Shire", she continued as she adjusted the umbrella she always carried with her.

"Yes, you just sit there and stew like a pot of beans", replied Pippin as he stood up. "Let's go and see what kind of people they are".

"Pippin, wait!", warned a Hobbit sitting at the same table as him.

"Easy Sam! I heard Gandalf telling Barley to treat these travelers like regular customers, and that's what I'll do too", Pippin said as he approached the table where the crew was seated.

"Excuse me", began the Hobbit, which attracted the attention of the group of demons, "Hello, I don't want to disturb…", continued Pippin.

"Well, you already are", Husk stated irritably.

"Husk!", Charlie warned. "Don't listen to him, you're not disturbing me at all", she reassured the princess of Hell.

"Ah, okay", said the half-man,"I just wanted to meet you, since I have heard a lot about you, you are now the news of the day".

"Heard of us? How is that possible? A few dozen people at most saw us", Vaggie muses.

"Hey, this is the Shire. Word travels faster than the wind in a storm, and everyone here knows everything about everyone. You can't take a step without the whole neighborhood knowing", Pippin informed him.

"A country of busybodies, in short", commented Angel Dust.

"That's one way to look at it. But back to you, where do you come from? I've heard stories of Elves, of Drawers and of Men, but never of beings like you", asked the Hobbit.

"Oh, dear, we come from a very far away place", Alastor began.

"And what is this place like? Is it like the Shire?", the halfling asked again.

"Oh no, it's more like a place filled with flames and darkness, where the worst beings are put in one place to fight each other forever. Thieves, murderers, and other criminals who live without knowing if they'll ever see the light of a new day", the radio demon said in a menacing voice. "But if you get used to the screams, it's not so bad", he added.

"Wow, it looks like a horrible place, even worse than the Old Forest", admitted Pippin, whose outgoing and inquisitive nature had deflated a little, hearing the radio demon's tale.

"Well, yes, it's not perfect, but there are good people living there, even if they don't know it yet", Charlie tried to fix the situation. "They just need a little help and the place we come from will become a place full of happiness".

"Let's hope it can be. Anyway, if you need anything, just ask", the halfling stated confidently.

"Well, we might need something right now", Pentious confessed. "We're looking for information on a certain Bilbo Baggins".

"Ehm, yes, we have heard of Bilbo's exploits, and we very much wish to meet him in person", invented Vaggie, so as not to arouse the Hobbit's suspicions.

"Bilbo Baggins? Well, it's your lucky day, my family is related to the Bagginses", explained Pippin.

Upon hearing those words, all the crew members widened their eyes, thinking they had found an easy shortcut.

"Really?!", asked the princess of Hell with a little enthusiasm.

"Of course, I am Peregrin, Pippin to my friends, cousin of Frodo Baggins, nephew of Bilbo Baggins", explained Pippin.

"Wonderful!", exclaimed Alastor. "And tell me, Pippin, what can you tell us about Bilbo?", asked the radio demon, starting with vague questions and then going into more and more detail.

"The stories about Bilbo could fill a book. I don't even know where to begin, I could start by talking about that time he defeated a dragon…", the halfling began.

"What?!", some of the crew members exclaimed, which made some of the attendees turn around.

"Wait, are you telling me Bilbo killed a dragon?!", asked the porn star.

"So a real dragon, with wings and that breathed fire?", added Pentious.

"Gee, was he a distant relative of yours?", Pippin asked the snake demon with a little displeasure.

"What? Oh no, I'm not a dragon or any of their relatives, even though I may look like one", Pentious explained.

"Ah, and by the way he didn't kill him, but he helped defeat him, freeing a city the Dwarves had built, and Bilbo also managed to steal some treasure from under his nose", continued the Hobbit.

"A real bad boy", commented Niffty with a chuckle.

"Definitely a commendable feat", Charlie added.

"Yes, and from then on Bilbo was loved and respected throughout the Shire", said Pippin, pointing to Bilbo's portrait on the mantelpiece. "Or rather, nearly all of them", whispered the Hobbit, nodding towards Lobelia.

"And who would you be?", asked Angel.

"Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, another relative of Bilbo's. The first thing she did when Bilbo left was try to take over his house, but she didn't succeed, and since then she's been like a vulture waiting for 'nature to take its course' with Bilbo before taking everything, and while she waits she enjoys being a sour old woman who criticizes everything and everyone", explained the halfling with light brown hair.

"It's so sad", commented Charlie.

"But so plausible", Husk added.

"It reminds me of someone", Alastor admitted as he thought of Susan.

"Yes, that is very sad", Pippin agreed.

Meanwhile Barley arrived with the crew's orders.

"Here you are, sorry for the wait", said the innkeeper as he placed the various drinks on the table.

"Oh, yes! Finally!", Angel Dust exclaimed. "Daddy wants his drink", she continued as she drank her Elf's Tears Wine from a crystal goblet. "Wow! So good and fruity, we have to ask for the recipe for this".

Meanwhile Husk was about to drink his Blueberry Spirit.

"Look at that one. He's got the Blueberry Spirit", observed a hobbit at a table.

"Poor him! He doesn't know what he's getting into", added one of his companions.

The feline demon then took the glass and drank it all in one go, then wiped his lip.

"Hmm, not bad", commented with a slight smile on the side of his mouth.

Many of the inn's patrons couldn't believe what they had just seen.

"How is that possible?!", gasped one of the Hobbits from before.

"He should already be on the floor clutching his throat in agony", his companion stated.

"Very refreshing", Vaggie said as she drank her Fairy Water.

"Exactly! Like a spring breeze", her girlfriend agreed.

"Sweet!", expressed her opinion Niffty towards its Hazelnut Milk.

"This Dragon's Fire Mead isn't bad either. The aftertaste hits like a good whiskey", commented the radio demon as he savored his order served in a wooden cup.

"And this beer is as sweet as it is light", added the snake.

"This is a tragedy! This is a tragedy!", were the words uttered by a Hobbit woman who burst into the inn.

"What's going on, Myrtle?", Barley asked with a worried look.

"Bilbo's party! We're running slow and short of staff. If no one shows up to help, the party will be canceled!", the woman explained.

"What times! Not even a hobbit like Bilbo can have a party without problems!", complained the innkeeper.

Hearing this, the princess of Hell had an idea. She immediately rose from the table and walked over to Myrtle.

"Honey, where are you going?", asked Vaggie.

"Vaggie,"I have an idea to get us closer to Bilbo", her girlfriend replied as she walked towards the Hobbit woman.

"Good morning", Charlie greeted Myrtle.

"And who are you?!", Myrtle gasped, frightened.

"Don't worry, Myrtle, she's a traveler", Barley began, "And Gandalf said to treat them like normal customers", said the innkeeper, walking over to the woman and whispering the last part of his speech to her.

"Okay, what is it?", asked the woman, now calmer.

"Well, I heard that the party preparations are slow, so I was wondering if my group and I could offer us volunteers", said the princess of Hell.

"What!?", Angel stated as he spat some of his drink onto the tablecloth.

"The tablecloth!", exclaimed Niffty as she began to clean maniacally.

"We haven't even been here half a day and we already have to work?!", Husk complained.

"Husk, I know", Charlie began as he approached the crew table again, "But think about it, so we will be able to show the community that we are not dangerous and to get closer to Bilbo, who will surely be grateful to us for saving his party", Charlie explained hopefully. "So, can we join in?", she asked Myrtle.

"Well, it's a desperate situation," said the Hobbit woman, "Hmm… okay, you're in".

"Hurray!", Charlie cheered.

"But we'd better hurry, time is running out", Myrtle replied.

"Right away!", exclaimed the princess. "Come on, guys! We have work to do".

"Just a moment while I finish my drink", Angel stated.

"You finish it later!", Vaggie silenced as she dragged the spider demon away from his glass bowl.

"Hey! Wait!", Angel Dust protested as he was dragged out of the inn.

"Well, not bad as travellers", commented Pippin.

Chapter Text

Gandalf, meanwhile, had reached Bilbo's house with his cart. The wizard immediately got out and opened the gate that gave access to the house's garden, a gate on which a sign had been posted that read "NO ENTRY TO NON-FESTIVAL GUARDIANS". After a few steps, the wizard reached the door and tapped the wood with his staff to knock.

"No, thank you!", began Bilbo gruffly, from the other side of the door. "We want no more visitors, benefactors, or distant relatives", screamed the Hobbit.

"Not even very old friends?", asked Gandalf with a smile, knowing that hearing his voice would surely make Bilbo open the door.

After a few moments the door opened, revealing Bilbo, who was showing some signs of old age, though far fewer than a person of such advanced age as the Hobbit should show.

"Gandalf?!", said Bilbo, who was amazed to see his friend after so long.

"Bilbo Baggins!", replied the sorcerer, always with his smile.

"My dear Gandalf!", exclaimed the halfling as he ran to embrace the wizard.

"How lovely to see you!", said Gandalf. "111 years of age. And who would believe that?", he asked, gazing intently at his friend's face with mild amazement. "You haven't aged a day", the wizard admitted, noting that the only differences now were his white hair and a few wrinkles, minor details, however, for a man who had grown sixty years older than Gandalf had last seen him.

Afterwards the two broke away from each other and Bilbo invited the wizard in grey into his house, as they had not met for decades.

"Come in!", insisted the Hobbit. "Welcome. Welcome", he continued, allowing the wizard to enter his abode.

At that point Gandalf entered and Bilbo closed the door behind him.

"Here we are", commented Bilbo, took the wizard's hat and staff and put them away somewhere else in the house. "Tea? Or something stronger? I've got some bottles of Old Vines. 1296, a fine vintage. It's almost as old as me", commented the halfling. "It was bottled by my father. Let's open one, shall we?", Bilbo suggested.

"Just some tea, please", replied Gandalf, who, although he had already had one earlier at the inn, on the one hand did not want to refuse hospitality, and on the other still needed a relaxing drink to put his thoughts in order.

After answering, the wizard began moving about the house, with the only problem being that Hobbit houses, as one might expect, were made for people between 3 and 4 feet tall on average. They certainly weren't made for people who were 6 feet tall like Gandalf. In fact, not even a step away from the wizard, he struck the chandelier in the entrance hall, and after adjusting it, he hit his head on a beam, just as Bilbo began speaking again.

"I was expecting you last week. But never mind, you always come and go as you please", said Bilbo in a slightly argumentative tone. "It's just that you caught me off guard. We only have some cold chicken and some pickles. Oh, and here's some cheese! No, that won't do, too risky. We have raspberry jam, apple pie…", the Hobbit listed all the food in his house, looking for something suitable for a quick get-together.

Meanwhile, Gandalf was wandering around the house, noticing maps and books scattered everywhere, confirming the anomalous behavior Frodo had described. Between glances, he saw the drawing of the Lonely Mountain, the place where the dragon Smaug resided, who was defeated thanks in part to Bilbo. In fact, Smaug was also present in the drawing, having been added using red ink, the same ink used to add other details.

"Oh no! We're all set!", the Hobbit continued. "Here you go, for a little snack. Let's hope that's enough. I can make you some eggs if you want. Oh… Gandalf", Bilbo concluded, not seeing where his friend had gone, which was difficult given the aforementioned friend's height and the fact that he was in a Hobbit house.

"Just some tea, please", replied Gandalf, who was in a room behind the half-man.

"Of course", said Bilbo, who was meanwhile eating something he had managed to dig out from his search. "You don't mind if I eat?", he asked.

"No, not at all", replied Gandalf.

"Well, tell me, what happens outside the Shire? I haven't been out there for years, but sometimes I think about the world beyond these quiet hills", asked Bilbo, who was going to prepare the drink the wizard had requested, curious to hear news from his friend, whom he hadn't seen for sixty years.

"I can inform you of a very particular event, I might say singular, even if it happened right here", the sorcerer informed.

"Right here, huh? But you see, nothing happens for years and just when…I was planning to go away, something is happening!", commented the Hobbit.

"So you've finally made up your mind", observed the wizard in gray.

"Aye, I have every detail planned", Bilbo began, "But go ahead, I certainly won't miss the only noteworthy event in the Shire, except my birthday", added the halfling, curious to know what was going on and that it was as noteworthy as his one hundred and eleventh birthday.

"Let's just say that some very peculiar travellers have shown up in the Shire", Gandalf continued, sitting down on a chair in the kitchen.

"Very peculiar travellers, you say? Do you have anything to do with it?", Bilbo asked. "The last time you were there, and there were some peculiar travellers among them, I found myself with thirteen dwarves in my house and then had to steal a gem from a dragon. Not that I was sorry in the end, only that I'm too old for these adventures now, Gandalf. You must find someone younger", joked the halfling, thinking that these travellers mentioned by the wizard were somehow connected to the latter, and suspecting that the wizard was planning a new adventure to revive the good old days.

"Oh, no, this time I'm not connected to the strange things going on around", replied the gray-robed wizard.

"Okay, I want to believe you", said the hobbit, "But what were they like?", he asked as he picked up the kettle containing the tea.

"I should sooner say what they were not", confessed Gandalf.

"How could they have been there to make you say these things? They must have been Elves or some such", thought Bilbo aloud.

"I can say with absolute certainty that they were nothing your mind is thinking. One of them was covered in fur and had four arms, another it seemed like the cross between a man and a cat and another one had a disturbing smile, worse than an ogre's", the wizard began.

"Except for the last one, the others, even though I've never seen them, don't seem that strange", commented the Hobbit as he poured tea into the teapot.

"Then there was a creature little bigger than a Hobbit but with only one eye in the middle of its face, and there was a girl with grey skin", Gandalf continued with his descriptions.

"A girl with grey skin? I don't remember ever meeting a female orc or anything like that", said Bilbo, wondering if he had ever met a creature that might fit that description.

"And finally there was a tall girl, with cheeks as red as a doll and a cross between a man and a reptile," the sorcerer concluded.

"A reptile-man?", repeated the halfling. "Well, let's hope it's not some kinsman of Samug's who comes to settle scores!", said Bilbo ironically.

"Oh, don't worry, it wasn't a very scary area. They asked me about you, though", admitted Gandalf the grey while he was pouring some tea in his cup.

"About me?", asked the Hobbit with growing concern, "What did they want with me?".

"They said they heard about your adventures and wanted to get to know you in person", Gandalf replied.

"Well, six out of seven seem fine, but until this evening, they're not there for anyone", said Bilbo, and just then there was a loud knock at the door and a cry from a sadly familiar voice.

"Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins!", Lobelia Sackville shouted from the door. She had seen Pippin just before the crew left the inn indicated her with his head and sensing that he was gossiping about her to the demons, she decided to leave, taking her trusty umbrella with her, deciding to go and do her favorite pastime when she wasn't busy being a sour old lady to everyone, which was pressuring Bilbo to leave the house.

"Speaking of not being there for anyone", the Hobbit repeated as he stood with his back to the wall and tried to make as little noise as possible. "I'm not home. Enough!", he affirmed, then he went over to the window and checked if it was really her, and it was indeed her, Lobelia. "It's the Sackville-Bagginses. They want the house! They haven't forgiven me for living so long. I must get away from my relatives! Always ringing the bell! Never a moment's peace!", he exclaimed as he moved to check the kitchen window. "I want to go back and see the mountains—", Bilbo stopped short when he saw strange creatures in the distance that perfectly matched his friend's descriptions. "Gandalf, tell me again what these travellers you met were like".

At that very moment, in fact, the hotel crew, who were following Myrtle to reach the lawn where the party was to be held, were passing by the road and were approaching Bilbo's house.

"Hey, look, that man's wagon", said Angel, who was the first to spot it.

"So that must be Bilbo's house", Sir .

"Pretty!", commented the little cyclops enthusiastically.

"Well, we're not 100% sure that's the right house, we need more proof", affirmed the girl with white hair.

To answer Vaggie's doubts, she thought of Lobelia's appearance and her calling out Bilbo's name as she banged on the door.

"Here's the proof", Husk interjected.

"But isn't that Lobelia?", asked the snake demon.

"Yeah, how did she get here already? She left the inn just moments before us", Charlie asked in turn.

"Well, seeing the house Bilbo has, I can understand the energy that went into trying to take it," the porn star admitted.

"What do we do? Do we go in and take the Ring?", asked Niffty with a quick chuckle.

"Oh, no!", exclaimed the princess of Hell, "We cannot come in and steal the Ring from him; it would be wrong".

"And then there's that man in gray in the middle, I don't know about you, but he scares me quite a bit", the snake demon added and admitted.

"As much as I hate to admit it, the snake is right. When we met him, I sensed he wasn't your typical old man with a cane. I sense he's hiding something under that bushy gray beard", Alastor muses.

"Hey!", Myrtle began. "Less talking, more work. There's an important party to sort out", the hobbit woman exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, here we come… Hey!", Vaggie jumped when she felt someone bump into her.

That someone was none other than Lobelia with her umbrella.

"Watch where you're going! Stranger!", Lobelia shouted as she walked away.

"Grr…, bitch", commented the girl with white hair.

"Calm Vaggie, don't think about it", her girlfriend tried to calm her down.

"Just as that Pippin described her", Angel added.

"It's just like Susan", thought the radio demon, as his ears drooped, suggesting he was currently experiencing discomfort.

"Yes, I know. I'd like to say you get used to it, but that would be a lie", said Myrtle, well aware of Lobelia Sackville's extremely abrasive nature.

"Lobelia apparently gave her own personal good morning to the new arrivals", commented Bilbo from his kitchen, where he had watched the whole scene from the window without being seen, even though of all that talk, he had only heard Myrtle's sentences and the bickering between Vaggie and Lobelia, "Some things never change".

"Yes, one thing about Lobelia is that she treats everyone the same, the problem is the way", agreed Gandalf.

"Anyway, from what I hear, they want to help with the party. Something not all travellers would do", the Hobbit admitted.

"Well, they have to earn their place tonight somehow", said the wizard.

"Always better than those slackers who don't lift a finger and then expect to be waited on hand and foot as if they had done everything themselves", replied the half-man in an ironic tone, and afterwards the two had a good laugh.

"However, Frodo has also shown interest in these new arrivals, even if he prefers to observe them from a distance", began the wizard in gray.

"It's normal. He's not a blockhead Lockbelt from Stonehouse, he's a Baggins", Bilbo said with a touch of pride.

"But that doesn't stop him from suspecting you. You'll tell him you're leaving, won't you?", asked Gandalf, sipping his tea and returning to a more serious tone.

"Yes", Bilbo replied after a quick sigh.

"He's very fond of you", his friend reminded him.

"I know. Perhaps he would come with me if I asked. Like all young people, he is attracted by new things, but I think that somehow Frodo is still in love with the Shire. With its woods, its streams. As I said before, I am old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin, almost stretched, like butter spread on too much bread. I need a holiday, and I don't think I'll return. In fact, I don't want to", the Hobbit stated as he put his hand in one of the pockets of his red vest, as if he were holding something between his fingers, like a ring.

Out of the corner of his eye Gandalf saw this, which brought to mind the words he had heard from the radio demon, but he did not consider that a suitable moment to investigate, he would continue to observe until he reached certainty.

Chapter Text

Meanwhile, the crew was led by Mytrle to the site where the party would be held. The site consisted of a meadow of about 1,500 square meters, gently sloping towards a nearby stream. The meadow's edge was lined with a few fruit trees, such as apple and pomegranate trees, which contributed to a scent that mingled with the minty scent of the wild herbs growing in the meadow. This idyllic landscape was complemented by the various structures erected by the Hobbits for the party, although some were still under construction.

"There is a calm atmosphere here", commented Alastor with his everlasting smile.

"Yes, and this scent in the air gives an incredible sense of peace", added the princess of Hell.

"Yes, definitely something we're not used to, at least not anymore", Pentious stated with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

"Perfect!", Myrtle began. "Now that we've arrived, we can distribute the tasks that need to be completed by tonight for the big event", added the Hobbit woman as she took a parchment where the various tasks were written.

"So, someone has to check the barrels and make sure they're filled to the right size", Myrtle said.

"Got it!", Husk replied without hesitation.

"Hey! That's not fair! I didn't know it was necessary to book his duty", Sir Pentious complained.

"Too late", replied the feline demon.

"Okay, perfect", said the Hobbit woman. "You'll find the barrels over there on the right", added Myrtle, pointing to the location of the aforementioned barrels, and Husk immediately set off to reach them. "Then we need someone to take inventory and manage logistics, someone to check that everything we need is there and make sure everything is put away".

"Oh, this looks like the right fit for me!", exclaimed the snake as he booked his job.

"Great, here's the list of everything you need to take care of", said Myrtle, handing it to Pentious and directing him to the location where he would be performing his duties. "Next, we need more hands for meal prep".

"Me! Me! Me!", repeated Niffty as she ran towards the woman.

"Okay, you can go ask in Barley's kitchen at the Green Dragon Inn", Myrtle said, and as soon as he finished, the little cyclops sped off toward the inn. "Very energetic, if only the other partygoers were like that", commented the woman, "Anyway, we need someone who supervises the prepared desserts".

"Keep an eye on something? I'm already keeping an eye on 5 people in the hotel", began Vaggie,"Checking out some sweets won't be that difficult".

"If you say so, you can find the tent down there with all the sweets to guard",Myrtle continued, pointing to the place where the various sweets were kept. "Then we need someone to help build the stage".

"I can take care of that, after all, I know how to handle big tools", the porn star stated seductively.

"Okay? The stage is over there", Myrtle replied, pointing to the stage that was not far away.

"If you allow me", the radio demon intervened, "I offer my services as supervisor of the works".

"Well, actually there's no need, we already have someone supervising", replied the Hobbit woman.

"Oh, it's better to have an extra one, you know, workplaces are dangerous places, an extra eye can't hurt", continued Alastor, who was heading towards a bench to supervise, he said.

"Oh, and what can I do?", Charlie asked cheerfully.

"Well, since all the positions have been filled, you can be in charge of the group", Myrtle offered.

"Um…ok", Charlie agreed, not knowing how many misadventures she would have to answer to.

The first one to accept a task, namely Husk, arrived at the pre-arranged point, where there were four firecrackers.

Nearby was a Hobbit in an apron, circling the alcohol, waiting for someone to be sent to take his place, as he had other commitments to attend to.

"Oh, hello, you must be the barrel inspector?", the halfling speculated when he saw Husk, though he was a little doubtful at first. He was aware of the presence of newcomers in the Shire from the rumors, but he didn't think it would be one of them who would volunteer.

"Yes, it's me", Husk began sharply. "So, what do I do?".

"Well, you have to check the barrels and make sure they are full, and to do that you must first shake them and then open the tap and check that the flow is regular and fast", explained the Hobbit as he shook one of the barrels and held out a mug to catch the liquid that would come out of the taps.

"Okay", the feline demon replied.

"Great, now excuse me but I have to go, other commitments are calling me. Remember what I told you", reminded the half-man before walking away.

"Yes, it doesn't take a genius",commented Husk, "Hey! What am I supposed to do with the alcohol in the mug anyway?", he asked, only to realize he was alone. "Well, I'll figure something out".

At that point the demon began shaking the first barrel and letting some alcohol flow until the mug was full, and there he thought about how to empty the mug.

"Well, I certainly can't let this alcohol go to waste", thought Husk as he decided to drink the contents of the mug, which had a bitter, toasty taste.

"Well, this one's not bad either", commented Husk before repeating the same procedure with another barrel, which yielded the same type of alcohol as the previous barrel, that is, a brown/black color. Just as with the first, the feline demon drank the mug in one go.

"Damn! I didn't see the flow", the bartender exclaimed. "Well, I might have to check again", he stated and then filled another mug.

"Okay, let's go with the next one", he said as he repeated the check with the third barrel, from which this time a golden liquid came out.

"Hmm, too sweet and fruity for my taste", commented the demon as he tasted, "Well, the last one is missing".

After the usual check, a red/orange colored alcohol came out of the tap of the barrel, which Husk immediately drank.

"Oh, finally something stronger!", said the bartender with satisfaction, even with a little difficulty in pronouncing the drink due to such an intake of alcohol.

"Well, at least I'm done", thought Husk.

"Er, excuse me, there are more casks to check", said a Hobbit, who was accompanied by other halflings who carried in all four more casks of stout, three of cider, two of red wine and two of water mixed with berry juice.

Husk immediately turned and saw the eleven barrels he needed to check.

"Well, we'll have to make our way together", commented the bartender, addressing the mug.

While the feline demon was busy with his task, Vaggie reached the awning that held in the shade a table full of various sweets, such as cream cakes, apple and blueberry pies, honey and walnut muffins, cinnamon biscuits, raspberry tart, marzipan cakes, honey and herb sweets, honey and butter bread, peppermint ice cream, which was considered a rarity in the Shire, but the most important dessert was Bilbo's cake, made with several layers of buttercream, candied fruit and on top were one hundred and eleven candles.

As the white-haired girl got closer and closer to the tent, a Hobbit woman came towards her.

"You must be the one in charge of the sweets", the woman began.

"Yes, I applied for this job, I have some experience keeping an eye on things", Vaggie replied.

"Perfect, because this is no joke. They'll come from all over trying to get the food, but you'll have to stop them until this evening", warned the half-woman.

"Now I think you're exaggerating, you can't be that drastic", commented the girl with gray skin.

"They all say that", replied the Hobbit woman. "Well, good luck, you'll need it. Now I have to go check the kitchens", she said as she walked away.

Soon Vaggie began pacing back and forth and circling the table to make sure no one was trying to take a dessert.

Just then, a little boy with light eyes and brown hair approached, wanting to get a cinnamon cookie, but was immediately spotted by Vaggie.

"Hey, hey, hey, boy, what do you want to do?", the girl asked as she positioned herself between the boy and the table.

"I wanted to get a cookie",admitted the little boy with innocence.

"Well, I'm sorry, but no one is allowed to take anything from here until tonight. I know it's difficult, but it has to be done for…", while Vaggie was explaining her reasons, the boy was motioning for some of his classmates to take the cookies while the girl wasn't looking.

"...and that's why we have to wait", Vaggie concluded.

"Okay, I get it", the boy replied.

"Good, go ahead now", said the gray-haired woman.

The child immediately left and Vaggie went back to checking the sweets, and here her eye noticed that on the plate where there had been twenty sweets there were now only five.

"Hey, wait!", the girl gasped, noticing the missing cookie. "How is that possible!?", she wondered as she turned and saw the boy and his group eating the aforementioned cookies. "Hey! What did I just tell you?!", she shouted at the boy, and immediately he and his group began running, and Vaggie took off in pursuit, both to punish those naughty kids and to retrieve the remaining cookies.

Both the pursuer and the pursued ran across the entire lawn, making sudden changes of direction and darting past passersby, even knocking over some decorations along the way. Finally, the group returned to the table, and here the white-haired girl managed to catch one of the boys with a single lunge.

"What did I say about waiting!?", Vaggie exclaimed in the little Hobbit's face.

After a few moments, the child began sniffling and crying, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Here the girl hesitated for a moment, realizing that she was shouting at a boy. Well, Vaggie may have been a little stiff and gruff, but she still had a heart.

"Um, listen, I didn't mean to yell at you, I got caught…", the girl couldn't finish her sentence as the crying boy grabbed a cream pie and threw it in her face before running away with the rest of the group.

Vaggie wiped the rest of the cake off her face, revealing one eye with an angry expression and the "X" glowing a deep red.

"Okay, now I've really lost my patience!", she shouted as she resumed the chase, still with traces of cream on her face.

While Vaggie was running after that group, Angel Dust was approaching the stage, where other Hobbits were present and were trying to make the structure as stable as possible.

"Hey, beauties, do you need a hand? Or four?", the spider demon asked the half-men to be busy working.

"And who are you?", asked one of them.

"You can call me Angel, and I'm here to help set up the stage, you know, I've performed on a lot of stages, so I know a thing or two about this", the porn star began. "So, give me your big tools and let's get started", he continued with a sly smile.

"Er, okay", said one of the Hobbits as he handed Angel a hammer and some nails, "We need to put some nails in that axis", he informed as he pointed to one of the points that supported the stage.

"OK", Angel Dust replied, giving a thumbs-up gesture with his three free arms and heading toward the indicated location. "Great, let's get started", he stated, picking up a nail and hammering it home. "One's gone", he said confidently without even looking.

"Um, look, it's bent", one of his colleagues warned.

"What?", he asked, widening his eyes and going to check, noticing that the nail was indeed bent. "Oh, nothing major, a hiccup, let's fix it now", downplayed the porn star as he removed that nail and picked up another. "Okay, let's go", he said as he hit the nail, making sure to be more careful this time, but again the nail bent. "How is that possible?!", he exclaimed as he began a circle, removing the bent nail, then bending the next one, over and over again.

"Um, you better pay more attention. Those nails were made by Toby the blacksmith, and he wouldn't take it kindly if he knew his nails were going to waste", advised one of the halflings.

"Well, Toby's going to have to mind his own business while I try to get this damned nail in properly", Angel replied in an annoyed tone as he prepared to make another attempt, but this time he didn't bend the nail, in fact, he didn't even hit it, as the hammer struck his thumb. He was about to scream, but his colleagues silenced him, revealing that there were some very young people nearby. At that point, the spider demon held back his screams and ran as fast as he could to reach the most remote and desolate place possible.

"FUCK!", shouted at the top of his lungs when he reached a fairly secluded spot. The echo of that curse could be heard throughout the Shire.

"Looks like Angel got hurt, well, good for him", commented Alastor sitting on his bench.

"Pain!", exclaimed Niffty from the inn's kitchen, where she was preparing the last of the rabbit stews, which would be cooked for hours, just in time for the party and to give it that unique flavor.

"Very good, little Niffty", commented Mrs. Cotton, "We need all the food we can get. For this party, everyone went without three meals, something that hasn't happened in over two hundred years".

"Mrs. Cotton? The party dishes have arrived, but they're pretty dusty and someone needs to wash them", said one of the cook's assistants as he carried several dishes into the kitchen and left.

"As if there wasn't enough work to do", Mrs. Cotton complained.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it", Niffty intervened, immediately taking a bowl of water, a rag and with unparalleled speed cleaned all the dozens of dishes.

"Eh? Niffty?"Aren't you going too fast?", asked the Hobbit woman with a little concern as she watched the various plates being taken and washed in less than a second and then placed in various piles.

"Done!", the little cyclops communicated.

"Wow! This is incredible!", Mrs. Cotton admitted as she admired the shiny plates. However, there was one detail that made the Hobbit woman gasp. "Wow! This plate is cracked!", she exclaimed as she showed the Cyclops the cracked plate.

"But it's just a tiny crack", replied Niffty as she took the plate, which shattered a few seconds after these words.

"Oh, for all the Shire!", cried Mrs. Cotton, "That was part of a five-piece service that was to be used by the birthday boy and the chief guests!".

"Well, there are still the other four", said Nifty taking one of the remaining pieces, which also shattered into a thousand pieces, "Well, there are still three left", and the third also shattered into a thousand pieces, "There are still two left", the cyclops added cautiously as the second to last remaining piece also shattered into a thousand pieces, "ehehehe… it's the only one left for the birthday boy", said Niffty closing her eye, expecting the plate to break, but it didn't, or at least it seemed that way for the first five seconds, just to give Niffty some hope, hopes that shattered like the last plate of the set. "Ehehehe... sorry", the little cyclops tried to apologize.

"It's a disaster, it's a disaster, it's a disaster!", the woman began to say, until she smelled a burning smell filling the air."Niffty? You took the bread out of the oven, right?".

"Um, no", the little demon admitted with a little embarrassed giggle.

Meanwhile, the only one who was completing the task without a hitch was Sir Pentious, who was checking that all the things written on the list were present and placed in the exact place assigned.

"This is there, this is there, and this is there", the demon said, checking the list again, making sure he hadn't missed anything. "Perfect, everything is in its place", he stated.

Just then, Pentious saw a group of children running and hiding behind some nearby bushes. The snake didn't have time to wonder why before he heard a voice calling him.

"Pentious!", Vaggie called him.

"Yes…", the snake began, then stopped, noticing the traces of cream on the girl's face, "Um, what do you have on your face?".

"Cream, a group of Hobbit children threw it at me, did they happen to be passing by?", asked the white-haired girl.

Sir Pentious was about to reveal the location of the group, when he turned his head a little and saw the group of little Hobbits shaking their heads at him from right to left, that is, they were asking him to say that he had not seen any of them.

"No, I haven't seen any children pass by here", Pentious lied.

"Okay, thanks", Vaggie replied as she continued her search.

When the girl had gotten far enough away, the children came out of their hiding place and began praising the snake.

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!", the children cheered.

"Thanks for the flattery, but I'm not a dragon", Pentious repeats.

"Spit fire! Spit fire!", they began to incite him.

"Still, I don't know…", then the demon stopped suddenly, as an idea came to him. "Okay, do you want to see the dragon breathe fire?", he asked, and immediately the little Hobbits answered in unison with a yes, and here Pentious turned, so that the group was behind him. This way the children wouldn't see what the serpent was doing in front of him, and from his robe he pulled out a small fire pistol, the only weapon that had escaped the search of Vaggie, because trust is fine, but Hell is still Hell, and a weapon to defend yourself is essential.

At that point, he placed the gun under his chin, so that the jet that came out would look like a breath coming from his mouth. Finally, he simply pulled the trigger and a cloud of fire could be seen shooting out of the snake.

Seeing this, the group burst into shouts of jubilation and exultation.

"Oh, you remind me so much of my egg boyz", the demon admitted, "Although you seem much smarter", he added.

Sir Pentious then smelled something burning coming from behind him, and when he turned around he saw that the flame he had created had hit a nearby apple tree, which was on fire.

The children began to scream in fear.

"Calm down! Calm down! I'll take care of it, bring me a fire extinguisher", said the demon, and here the group of children didn't know what Pentious meant. "Oh, right", he realized, remembering that they were in a world where fire extinguishers didn't exist. At that point, the snake looked around and spotted a bucket and immediately ran to get it and fill it from the nearby stream.

"Miss Charlie really should have chosen a movie set in a medieval world", the snake complained as it threw water on the flames in an attempt to put them out, which it eventually succeeded in doing. "Okay, everything's fine now", he affirmed as he struck the trunk of the apple tree, and immediately several fruits began to fall and one of them hit him on the head.

"Hurray! Apples!", the children exclaimed, and began picking at the fruit. "Thanks, dragon!", thanked the group as it left.

Vaggie,Meanwhile, she was still busy with her research, and just as she was looking for those rascals, she met Angel Dust, who was returning from the place where he had retreated for a moment so as not to let his outbursts be heard, even though in reality they had been heard by everyone.

"Angel," the girl said to get the porn star's attention.

At hearing his name, the spider demon turned to the one who called him.

"Hey Vags, who did you have fun with?", Angel asked with a sly smile, still seeing the traces of cream on the girl's face.

"Angel, this is not the time for your double entendres", Vaggie warned.

"It's never the right time for you",the porn star replied.

"Okay, can we get back to us? This is cream that was thrown at me by some kids, and now I'm looking for them", she informed him.

"But shouldn't you be watching the sweets?", asked Angel Dust.

"Those kids are the worst obstacle to guarding those sweets. They're smart, very smart", Vaggie said.

"You do realize you're talking about beings who are between five and ten years old, right?", he reminded her.

"Never underestimate your opponent, it's the first mistake", said the gray-skinned girl.

"Okay, Vags, listen, you may be trained and tough and all that, but you clearly don't know how to handle kids", commented Angel.

"And let's hear it, what do you think I should do, eh?", she asked.

"You have to play on his own turf, which is…", the spider demon began, then whispered the whole plan in Vaggie's ear.

"Well, it's not really my style, but I can try", Vaggie admitted.

"Excellent! You'll see, this will give you some sweet revenge", Angel assured her as he scooped some cream from the girl's face and put it in his mouth. "Mmm, not bad".

"You could have even saved yourself this last part", criticized Vaggie with an impassive tone.

"Like a lot of other things", Angel replied before walking away and heading for the stage.

Here the demon was welcomed by the other builders.

"Is everything okay now?", asked one of the halflings.

"Yes, yes, everything is okay now", he said, "Now pass me the hammer".

"There you go… damn it!", exclaimed the Hobbit as he was passing the tool to Angel, but the halfling accidentally lost his balance for a moment and the hammer slipped from his hand, landing on the spider demon's left foot.

"Fuc-" the porn star had to restrain himself again, and to do so, he began to hit one of the stage beams with all his might to let off steam. Whether it was the force he exerted or the fact that the Hobbits working on the construction weren't the best in the business, the stage buckled to one side before collapsing.

"Oops", was all that came out of Angel Dust's lips.

Throughout all this, Alastor was sitting on a bench and supervising the work, or rather, he was there commenting on the actions of the Hobbits who passed by.

"Come on, old man, time is running out", the radio demon said to one of the halflings who was going to fix the recently collapsed stage.

"Excuse me", a female Hobbit began, "But what exactly are you supposed to be doing?", she asked Alastor.

"Oh, my dear, can't you see? I'm supervising the work, after all. Someone needs to make sure no one gets hurt. As much fun as it would be, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make", Alastor replied.

"It seems to me that you are just sitting there and occasionally making unnecessary comments", the half-woman replied.

"Oh, oh, oh, my dear, I assure you that my work is indispensable", affirmed the demon, "Hey, you, Hobbit", he said to get the attention of one of the workers nearby.

"Yes?", replied the Hobbit.

"Is my role as supervisor indispensable or not?", asked the half-man, as the radio demon's eyes lit up a bright red and his smile grew even wider.

"Er… yes! I feel much safer with her watching over everything", replied the hobbit, terrified. After answering, the halfling quickly left.

"See, my dear", Alastor concluded with a satisfied face.

Meanwhile, the group of children, some still with apples in their hands, were approaching the dessert table again, wanting to grab some more food and to have fun in provoking the white-haired girl. However, when they reached the table, the children heard moans coming from a female voice. The group, intrigued, went to investigate and saw the aforementioned girl sitting on the grass, her back turned, moaning, as if she were crying.

Seeing this, some of the children, including the one who had thrown a pie in her face, felt a slight sense of remorse and regret.

"Hey… no we wanted to make you cry, we just wanted to play some pranks", the boy said as he approached Vaggie,then, suddenly, he and the others found themselves with a cream pie in their faces.

"Ha! One more", exclaimed the girl, who had stopped pretending to cry, which was part of the plan the porn star had advised her.

There were moments of silence, then finally everyone present, both the girl and the group of little Hobbits, started laughing at what had happened.

"What's going on?!", exclaimed the Hobbit woman who had told Vaggie to be careful with the sweets, "And why do you all have cream on your faces? Those cakes were for the party!".

"It's our fau-", one of the children began to confess.

"No, it's my fault", the gray-skinned girl intervened. "I was given a task, but I got carried away by anger. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry".

"I'll have to report this to your supervisor!", the Hobbit woman stated.

Speaking of the group leader, Charlie was wandering around the meadow, and it's inexplicable how she didn't notice the chaos going on around her. The princess of Hell had been drawn into the landscapes of the Shire, with its colors and tranquil atmosphere, where there were no sounds of gunfire, demons cursing each other, or constant traffic accidents. There was only peace and serenity, despite some friction with some Hobbits. She hoped to bring such an atmosphere to Hell with her hotel, but just then a voice brought her back to reality.

"Hello", greeted a half-man of stocky build, with red cheeks and curly brown hair.

"What?", said Charlie, who was still in her own world. "Oh, hello", replied the princess, who began to look carefully at the Hobbit's face, which looked familiar.

"Have we met before?", Charlie asked.

"Well, no, but rumors get around the Shire, so it's normal to think you know someone even when you don't. Anyway, I'm Frodo", replied the halfling.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Charlie", she began, then paused for a moment to think. "Frodo?", Charlie repeated, as the name was not unfamiliar to her. "Wait, are you Bilbo's nephew by any chance?", she asked.

"Well, yes, Gandalf told me that some newcomers were looking for my uncle, so I thought I'd introduce myself. To be honest, I was a little scared at first, but after I heard what you've done and are doing, I felt ready to introduce myself", Frodo admitted.

"I understand, after all, our appearance may be unusual in this place, but it's nice that you decided to give us a chance", the princess said, then thought back for a moment to what Frodo had said. "Did you mention a certain Gandalf? Is he by any chance tall, with a beard and a gray suit?", she asked.

"Exactly", replied the Hobbit in the affirmative.

"Oh, yes, we met him shortly after we got here, although he was a bit menacing at the end", Charlie informed.

"Don't worry, Gandalf is like that", Frodo explained. "At first he can be gruff and a little scary, but once you get to know him, you see a calmer, friendlier side to him", he reassured.

"I hope one day he can come to trust us", Charlie hoped.

"Seeing that you are making an effort to make the party happen, I'm sure this is a good first step", affirmed the halfling.

Just then, a Hobbit in an apron intruded.

"Miss? Are you responsible for the feline?", he asked.

"Yes, that's me", Charlie replied.

"Well, your subordinate got drunk on the alcohol from the barrels, almost a twentieth of the drinks were wasted!", exclaimed the half-man, who was pointing to a staggering Husk still holding the mug.

"Husk?!", warned the princess.

"Hey! In my defense…", began the feline demon, clearly drunk, "…I wasn't told where this was supposed to go alcohol once you controlled the flow and it was a shame to waste it", he tried to justify himself.

"Every barrel has a hole closed with a cork! It was enough to take it off and put the drink back in!", said the Hobbit with the apron.

"Well… you should have said that right away", Husk concluded.

"Look, I'm sorry," the princess began, "I'll see what I can do".

"Miss", began another Hobbit, "That dragon, or any creatureyes, it hasan apple tree burned!".

"Pentious! How did you set fire to a tree?!", Charlie asked aloud.

"It's a long story", the snake replied, trying to ease the tension.

"Miss!", exclaimed a female Hobbit, "The girl with the white hair made a mess of the sweets!", she stated as she pointed to Vaggie with traces of cream still on her face and the group of children behind her.

"Vaggie! What happened and what's on your face!?", asked Charlie, who was starting to feel the pressure of all that complaining.

"Honey, it's a long story", Vaggie replied.

"Welcome to my world", Sir Pentious interjected.

"Excuse me, but that guy is just sitting there doing nothing!", complained the Hobbit woman who had previously criticized Alastor's actions, if you could call him that.

"Miss! The stage collapsed because of one of your subordinates!", one of the builders complained.

"Hey! It's not my fault these nails won't go in even with lube!", Angel Dust tried to excuse himself.

"Miss! Your little cook destroyed a whole set of dishes and nearly set the kitchen on fire!", exclaimed Mrs. Cotton as she dragged Niffty along.

"They told me to clean and I cleaned", the little Cyclops replied simply.

At this point, Charlie began to hear all those complaints echoing in her head, every task that needed to be done had turned into a disaster. This reminded her of Hell at its worst, she remembered all the attempts to improve the conditions of sinners, but the results never came, or worse, the situation was getting worse even more. This feeling of helplessness in the face of the events that were happening around her resurfaced precisely in that situation.

"Enough, enough, enough, enough, enough!", Charlie repeats, then shouts the last word, which makes many of the complaining Hobbits step back.

"Charlie…", Frodo began, seeing the princess in difficulty.

"What?!", Charlie gasped, his demonic features beginning to show themselves, even if very subtly, just his eyes that went from a yellow sclera to a slightly more reddish one and some locks of hair that seemed to be levitating, all things that made Frodo take a step back too.

Seeing the halfling's frightened face, Charlie calmed down.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry", the princess began to say to Frodo, showing her immense regret at having lost her temper.

At that point Frodo, still a little scared by what had happened, found the courage to approach Charlie again.

"Charlie… I understand that the situation is stressful, it's always like that with the holidays, but one way out of it could be to mix up the map", said half-man with a sympathetic tone.

"What do you mean?", Charlie asked, confused.

"You see, perhaps the tasks your companions have been assigned to do do not reflect their abilities, perhaps putting them to a different job will achieve better results", hypothesized the Hobbit with the brown curls.

The girl began to think and decided that it was worth giving it a try.

"Well, I might as well try", Charlie admitted as he called his companions back for an emergency meeting.

"Okay guys", began the princess of Hell, "I don't want to lie to you, the evening is coming and there's still a lot of work to do, and given the difficulties that have arisen, I think it's time to switch roles. You, Pentious? Are you finished with your homework?".

"Yes, Miss Charlie", Pentious replied.

"Well, then you can help set up the stage. And you, Angel, can help prepare the last meals", Charlie said.

"Anything that doesn't involve a hammer will do", the porn star commented.

"Excellent, then, Vaggie, you can keep an eye on the alcohol barrels, no children should get there", said the princess.

"Perfect, I don't have too many problems with adults", Vaggie agreed as she snapped her fingers.

"Great, but don't go too far. Niffty, see if you can find a way to hide the burnt apple tree", the girl continued.

"I already have some perfect ideas", the Cyclops reassured.

"Well, finally, Alastor, check the dessert table, really check this time", Charlie warned.

"Hmm… okay, no one will come near", the radio demon stated in a slightly threatening tone.

"Humane surveillance, without torture or curses", Vaggie interjected.

"My dear, you always take the fun out of it", replied the radio demon.

"Vaggie's right, also keep an eye on Husk until he gets better", Charlie added, pointing to the feline demon who was sleeping on a nearby bench.

"Perfect! Everything's organized. This is going to be the best party the Shire has ever seen. Let's go!", Charlie urged.

Incredibly, after this change of plans, everything started to go smoothly. Niffty managed to fix the burnt parts of the apple tree, covering them with lanterns and festoons, making it not only presentable, but also making the area around the tree one of the most contested among the Hobbits, precisely because they wanted to admire the apple up close. Angel Dust, thanks to his four arms, managed to prepare all the remaining dishes just in time. Alastor and Vaggie managed to keep anyone away from the sweets or the remaining alcohol, albeit with different methods: warnings mixed with threats and the use of some "special effects" in the first case and, in the second, with the use of basic diplomacy, then switching to the use of force if resistance was encountered. Sir Pentious, with his knowledge and skill in the use of instruments, managed not only to set up the stage, but also to make it more stable. Finally, there was Charlie, who supervised everything, and Husk, who spent the time sleeping through his hangover.

Evening came, with Gandalf and Bilbo standing outside the latter's house, both with pipes in their mouths, relaxing and waiting for the moment to begin the celebrations.

"Old Toby. The best pipe-weed in the Southern Decumanus", commented the Hobbit as he took a drag and created a circle with the smoke.

Then the wizard also took a drag and with the smoke he managed to create a boat that went through the circle created by Bilbo.

"Hey! Look there", exclaimed the half-man as he pointed down at the party lawn, which could be seen in its entirety from Baggins' house, "The four-armed one is still trying to put in that nail".

In fact, everything at the party was ready, the only thing missing was that damned nail, and Angel wanted to put it in, at any cost.

"A-Are you sure you can do this?", asked a Hobbit, who had to hold the nail steady while Angel fixed it, even though this made the halfling feel a bit anxious.

"Of course, I assure you this is the right time", assured the porn star with the hammer in his hand.

At this answer, the Hobbit swallowed in fear, as he saw the dozens of Hobbits behind the spider demon, who were being treated by Niffty, all with the same problem, namely trauma and in some cases fractures of the bones in their fingers.

"Come on Angel, you can do it!", Charlie encouraged.

"You either hit the nail or you hurt that Hobbit. You win or you win", Alastor said with his smile.

"And be careful, the medications are running low", Vaggie informed.

"Okay, okay. I'm going", said the spider demon as he took a deep breath and brought the hammer closer to the nail. He began to swing it, and… the hammer struck the Hobbit's fingers again. He let go of the nail and clutched his hand, holding back his screams.

"Hey! It's not my fault!", Angel Dust tried to excuse himself. "You kept shaking your hand. I may have eight eyes, but I can't keep track of every detail that happens around me".

Seeing the scene from a distance, both Bilbo and Gandalf had a good laugh.

"Gandalf, my friend, this will be, one way or another, an unforgettable night", said the Hobbit as he raised his pipe to his mouth.

Chapter Text

And evening came. The sun began to set, giving way to the darkening sky, which quickly changed from azure to a dark blue, the same blue visible off the ocean. This darkness was contrasted by lights that they were illuminating otherwise absolute darkness. These lights were the stars and, more importantly, the moon, yet these were not the only lights shining that evening. The blue of the night was shattered by an explosion that sent sparks of various colors into the firmament. These comets did not come from the depths of the universe, but from below, from the ground, and more precisely from the meadow of the Shire, where Gandalf had begun to set off his fireworks to entertain and amaze those present at Bilbo's feast. The feasting ground had transformed at sunset, from a tranquil green meadow it had become a medley of lanterns, festoons, the fragrances of the various dishes, and music. All this was accompanied by the Hobbits' dancing, which was punctuated by the sounds of the instruments, and those who did not dance supplied themselves from the various barrels and their contents, at least what had survived Husk's tastings, they gorged themself of food or started chatting about this and that and one of the topics was the presence of the latest arrivals in the Shire, given that not everyone had seen them during the day, also because the guests also came from areas outside Hobbiton, even if there were enough guarantees from the halflings who had been dealing with them for a longer time, who described them mostly as harmless, at most a little bizarre, even if they did not fail to make some warning comments towards the radio demon, who of all of them was the one who most inspired fear. There were some who also warned about Sir Pentious, but that was more due to the still widespread belief that he was a dragon or a species of dragon close to him, a belief that found fertile ground in the stories of some Hobbit children, who told of having seen the serpent spitting flames, and while the children were entertaining watching the different colored lights that made the night sky sparkle, the old men sat there, either complaining about things like the beer being too warm or the food being too cold, or entertaining themselves with chess or, as before, with gossip.

Returning to the crew, they were gathered at a table, which, like others, had been reserved for those who had served in the preparations for the party. Sure, this table was damaged and a bit chipped, but it was still something, and since many Hobbits were still somewhat wary of demons, it was a good thing they'd been given a private seat, which was more than was available to many guests and even more gatecrashers.

At this table was a crew exhausted from the work done during those hours, and the demons were both recovering and enjoying the festive atmosphere, preparing to carry out their plan.

"Damn! It was hard to clean up all that shit", commented Angel while he was stretching two arms and with two more he was cracking the back.

"Well, come on, at least now everyone can enjoy the best party possible", the princess of Hell intervened.

"It does indeed have a lovely atmosphere", agreed Sir Pentious, holding his glass of cider.

"A delightful night, perfect for a murder", Alastor thought aloud, which made everyone at the table turn with a troubled look. "At least that's what the me from the old days, the good old days, would say", he added.

"You could have kept it to yourself…hey!", Vaggie began, then exclaimed when she heard one of the barrel taps being turned on.

"Don't worry, you can drink now", reassured the innkeeper Barley, who was watching over the barrels.

"Ah, yes. Okay, you can go ahead", the white-haired woman allowed towards the half-man still clutching the brass faucet. He'd stopped instantly when he heard the girl's warning. "Sorry, conditioned reflex", Vaggie admitted to the rest of the crew.

"Relax Vags, we can be calm…hey! Be careful, it took forever to set up that stage!", warned the porn star when he heard the Hobbit band start stomping on the stage, which had triggered anxiety towards the spider demon, who was keeping an eye on that beam on which the fateful nail that had been his obsession had been hammered.

"A toast to us and our work", proposed a recently recovered Husk.

"To us!", the group exclaimed in unison as they all raised their cups, drinking its content.

"Well, let's go back now, we have to find Bilbo", Vaggie reminded everyone in the group.

"That's right!", Charlie replied as she stood up and looked around for the Hobbit in question, but couldn't see him. "Er, where's Bilbo?", she asked.

"He's the birthday boy, he has to be somewhere", said Angel Dust, who had just put down his empty cup.

"He's not the problem, but the dozens of guests around him are", the feline demon observed, looking around.

"Well, we have to find him somehow, so we can tell him about the Ring", Pentious said.

"But didn't that man in gray say not to talk about rings", Niffty asked.

"Well, Gandalf said not to speak about it loudly and lightly", Charlie interjected.

"Who?", asked the other crew members.

"Gandalf, that's the name of that man in grey", explained the princess.

"My dear, the aforementioned Gandalf is busy with other things", replied the radio demon, nodding at the wizard, who was entertaining the assembled crowd with fireworks, "And we certainly won't be discussing such matters in the presence of prying ears".

"And how are we going to convince him?", Niffty asked.

"We'll tell him what that ring does. Anyone in their right mind would let him go immediately", the white-haired girl replied.

"What if he thinks we're making this up to take it from him?", Husk added.

"Yes, from what we've seen, that ring tends to make people quite possessive", the porn star agreed.

"Then in that case we should use more drastic methods, after all, desperate times call for desperate measures", the radio demon replied, his tone growing increasingly menacing and a sound of static filling the air around him.

"No! We can't do this", Charlie gasped.

"If we do not take that ring, we will remain here forever, and the Extermination of her people is upon us", Alastor replied.

Hearing those words, Charlie remembered that there was little time left before the exorcists arrived in Hell to exterminate the souls of sinners, and that she had to return home as soon as possible to find a solution.

"I know", Charlie began, "But we'll try to be as convincing as possible to try to get the Ring".

"Then we must destroy it with flames, as the writing on the case said", added the snake.

"Right, but first we have to find its owner", Angel Dust stated.

"Okay, let's start the search", said Vaggie, "Let's split up and remember, we are looking for a Hobbit with curly brown hair and a chubby build, vamonos!", concluded the girl and then everyone stood up and disappeared to look for the Hobbit.

"Let's hope it goes better than before", commented Husk.

The spider demon began to wander through the crowd, checking the faces of the various people present, noting that none of them were suited to the description of the halfling he and his party were looking for.

"Hey, sweetie, could you give Daddy some information?", he asked a nearby Hobbit in a flirtatious tone.

"Um… no, sorry", replied the half-man hesitantly, then walking away confused by what he had heard.

"Darling, do you want to have a chat?", he asked a passing Hobbit woman.

"Eh, sorry, I really have to go", replied the half-woman as she walked away at a brisk pace and with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Fuck, this place is worse than a cloistered monastery", the porn star commented, looking for someone who wasn't so prudish. Looking around, she spotted a table of young Hobbits, busy relaxing with mugs of beer and pipe weed. "They should be fine, they don't look so puritanical", Angel said as he approached the table. "Hey guys, what's going on?", the demon asked, getting the group's attention.

"Hey, I know you!", one of the halflings exclaimed after taking his pipe out of his mouth.

"Yes, that's him", one of his companions agreed.

"Oh, apparently I'm famous here", he boasted flirtatiously. "Well, that happens everywhere I go".

"Yeah, it took you hours to hammer a nail into the stage", added the Hobbit, who spoke first. "It was hilarious", he admitted, and the whole table burst into laughter.

"Oh, yeah, yeah… sure", the porn star replied, trying to play along, though he wasn't too subtle in his annoyance at being remembered for needing almost half a day to hammer a nail into a beam. "Hey, what do you guys smoke?", Angel Dust asked the group, trying to divert the conversation.

"Pipe-weed. Longbottom Leaf, excellent quality", replied one of the hobbits, still with the pipe in his mouth.

"Weed? Is that legal around here?", Angel asked, confusing pipe weed with some other kind of weed.

"Sure, why shouldn't it?",asked one of the halflings.

"Where are you from is forbidden?", added another.

"Well, no, any substance is legal here, but that's because where I come from, no one cares what you do", replied the spider demon.

"Okay, do you want to try?", asked the Hobbit closest to the demon.

"Um, look, I would love to die, but today is not the right night to develop a new addiction", Angel replied.

"Addictive? No problem, that's one of the good things about pipe weed, it's not addictive", the halfling replied.

"Really?", asked Angel in surprise.

"Of course, here in the County we smoke it as a tradition and as a pastime", assured one of the table members.

"Ah", Angel began, "Well, then I can afford a little break", the demon said as he found a seat on a bench to join the group.

"Great, here you go", he said as the halfling pulled another pipe from his jacket. "I always carry a spare, just in case".

Here the demon took the pipe and after it was filled and lit, the porn star took a puff.

"Wow! Amazing", exclaimed the spider demon. "It's magnificent. It's relaxing, and there's no burning in my throat", he added as he managed to create a circle with the smoke, albeit an irregular one.

"Not bad for your first time", commented the Hobbit while with the smoke generated an arrow that through the circle.

At that point Angel had an idea.

"Mmm… I see you're good at hitting holes", the porn star began seductively, "Would you like to find a secluded place to practice a bit? And if you can say the magic words, the doors will open", added Angel, who was sliding three arms over the half-man,clearly alien to these practices.

"O-Okay, let's go", the Hobbit agreed, and then the two got up and went to find a quieter place, with the rest of the table cheering on their companion.

"Go, Tom! Maybe today is the time for you to become a man!", exclaimed one of the hobbits at the table.

While Angel Dust was using his abilities to gain some information, Vaggie was looking for the target with more traditional methods, namely searching and asking around, finding nothing useful, until she heard a chorus of voices, which caught her attention.

"Who is it?", the girl asked as she turned and saw the group of children she had met hours before.

"Hello", one of them came forward, the little Hobbit with the light eyes and brown hair, who was the first one he had to deal , "We wanted to thank you for covering for us, even though we started it. If it weren't for you, we'd probably be grounded and not at this party".

"I really appreciate it", she began, "But I only covered for you this once, next time you'll have to deal with the consequences of your actions, okay?", the girl asked, and the group nodded in agreement.

"Great", said Vaggie as she reflected on the fact that those children, with their wanderings everywhere, might have seen Bilbo, "Look, it's not by chance-", the girl couldn't finish the sentence as someone else caught her attention.

"Excuse me, this is for you", said a Hobbit as he handed the girl a hand-woven checkered blanket.

"For me?", the gray-skinned girl asked in confusion.

"Yes, it is traditional for guests to give each other gifts at Hobbit parties", the halfling explained.

"But I have nothing to give", replied the white-haired girl.

"Don't worry, you and your gang helped with the party, and that's more than enough for a gift", the halfling added. "And besides, the birthday boy also gives gifts to the guests, and Bilbo is a man who tends to overdo it. He's already given me three similar blankets", he added.

"I see", Vaggie replied, then recalled the fact that the Hobbit had mentioned Bilbo, "Wait, she said that Bilbo just gave her some presents, could you by any chance tell me-", again the girl was interrupted.

"Excuse me, I see your hands are still quite empty, take these, I have four more", said a Hobbit woman as she handed the girl two striped scarves.

"Hey, does anyone need any more gifts? No problem, miss", said a halfling, offering Vaggie a straw hat and three wooden keychains.

"Um, I'm flattered, but I think it's starting to get a bit too much", commented the girl while a crowd of people buzzed around her, all eager to offer her gifts.

Within minutes, Vaggie found herself with all sorts of objects in her possession: wool scarves, key chains, carved wooden pipes, canvas bags, dice, playing cards, rag dolls, whistles, poetry books, leather-bound journals, copper pots, herbs, herbal teas, smoked sausages, loaves of bread, and more.

"Sorry, I think there's just too much stuff now… oh, wait, those might come in handy", the girl said when she saw that she had also been given a set of knives. "But really, I think we should stop", the girl said with difficulty as the mountain of gifts overwhelmed her, and finally, Vaggie lost her balance and all the gifts fell on her.

"Is all okay?", a half-woman asked with a hint of concern.

From that heap of presents, Vaggie's right arm emerged, thumbs up, to show she was okay, and then the crowd continued showering her with gifts. Whether out of generosity or to find someone to give the gifts considered "excessive", even for a Hobbit.

Meanwhile, everyone at the party was having fun, with the dancing breaking out.

"Come on, Sam. Ask Rosie to dance", Frodo encouraged his friend, who was sitting drinking beer.

"I think I'll have another beer", Sam replied, getting up to refill his mug.

"Oh, no, my dear! Jump!", exclaimed Frodo as he grabbed his friend and pushed him towards the dancing section of the lawn, and here Sam arrived right in front of the Hobbit girl, and the two began to dance, with Frodo watching the scene amused.

"Hello Frodo", greeted a female voice, which made the halfling turn and see that it belonged to Charlie.

"Hey, Charlie, how are you?", asked the Hobbit.

"Good, very good, this party is fantastic", replied the princess of Hell.

"This is thanks to you too", Frodo observed.

"Aww, that's cute. Thanks", commented Charlie.

"You're welcome, this is the best birthday party Bilbo and I have ever had", said the Hobbit as he drank from his cup.

"I am…"Wait, did you say 'me and Bilbo'?", Charlie asked.

"Yes", replied the halfling.

"I thought the party was just Bilbo's", the princess admitted.

"Well, yes, but we have birthdays on the same day, but I decided to give him space, after all he is 111 years old, I don't know how long we can have a party together", explained Frodo, with a tone that revealed a certain regret at the end of his speech.

"Wow, that's a really sweet thing to do", said Charlie, who could see the bond between Frodo and her uncle. "Speaking of Bilbo, I'm looking for him to ask him about his adventures. Can you tell me where he is?".

At that question, Frodo pondered what to say. On the one hand, there was still a slight, lingering suspicion, on the other, since their arrival, Charlie and his companions hadn't done anything wrong, on the contrary, they had helped with the party preparations. This was enough for the Hobbit to trust Charlie.

"Hmm…ok, come on, the last time I saw him he was telling one of his stories, come on, I'll lead the way", replied Frodo as he got up to accompanied his new acquaintance to his uncle.

"Great! Let's go!, the princess of Hell exulted as she prepared to follow him, but just then Charlie felt a hand grab her.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!", Myrtle exclaimed as she picked up the princess and carried her away, while Frodo ran off to look for Bilbo, not realizing that Charlie wasn't there.

"Um, sorry Myrtle, but I-", the owner of the Hazbin Hotel.

"Don't worry, it won't take long", the Hobbit woman reassured her as she led Charlie to a long table filled with several Hobbits. "There she is! The leader of the group that saved the party!", Myrtle informed her as she sat the princess on one of the table's benches, where she was greeted with applause and cheers.

"Thank you so much!", exclaimed a Hobbit.

"Without you there would have been no party!", added another half-man.

"Please! deserve yourself!", said a Hobbit woman as dishes of all kinds were brought before the princess.

Honey bread, fresh butter, blueberry and strawberry jam, smoked ham, spiced sausages, local cheeses, toasted walnuts, rabbit stew, roast chicken with aromatic herbs, leg of lamb, roast pork with apples, buttered trout, blueberry pie, cream pastries, elderberry syrup, lemonade, cider, mead, and more, all delivered right under Charlie's nose.

"Oh, well, I'm happy with all this food, but I don't know if I can take it all", Charlie replied.

"Don't be modest, she deserves it", said a Hobbit woman.

"Besides, many Hobbits and his companions have worked hard to produce this food. I hope you won't spit on their hard work," Myrtle added dramatically.

"Oh, no, no, no, certainly not", the princess of Hell immediately said as she began to shovel all that stuff into her stomach.

"Mrs. Bracegirdle, how nice to meet you. Welcome. Welcome", a Hobbit woman greeted Bilbo with all her children. "Are these all your children?", she asked.

"Yes", the half-woman replied positively.

"You have been productive!", exclaimed the Hobbit, seeing the multitude of Mrs. Bracegirdle's sons and daughters.

Just then, Bilbo felt his ear twitch, a signal he knew well, for the hobbit turned and saw Mrs. Sackville-Baggins and her son in the distance. At the sight of them, Bilbo immediately went to look for Frodo, who was also looking for him, and as soon as he saw him, Bilbo warned him of the danger.

"The Sackville-Bagginses are here! Let's hide!", said the uncle to his nephew, who was taken by Bilbo and immediately both of them looked for a place where they would not be seen by their relatives.

With the danger averted, Bilbo turned to Frodo.

"Thank you, my boy. You are a good young man. I am very selfish. Yes, very selfish indeed. After your parents died I took you in, but not out of charity. I think it was because of all the numerous relatives, you were the only Baggins with much strength of spirit", Bilbo confessed.

"Bilbo, have you been to the Gaffer's Inn?", asked Frodo, not quite knowing what to say in the face of such a revelation.

"No. Well, yes, but that's not the point. The point is, Frodo, that you'll be fine", his uncle stated, which left Frodo speechless and with a look of puzzlement.

Meanwhile, at the party, it was possible to see a shadow moving, disappearing and reappearing from one side to the other, and those few who saw it even doubted whether they had really seen it, blaming it on tiredness or alcohol.

The shadow in question was the radio demon, who was using his powers to move quickly around the party venue, obviously trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. However, even with these demonic tricks, Bilbo didn't reveal himself.

"You're elusive, Bilbo, I'll give you that", Alastor began, complimenting the Hobbit's ability to remain unnoticed, "But I'm stubborn, more so than you are at hiding", he continued in a slightly distorted tone.

"Um, excuse me", said a half-man, who was addressing Alastor, who was about to return to his shadow state.

"Yes?", replied the radio demon, turning his head one hundred and eighty degrees, which made the Hobbit jump, though he managed to compose himself, having been told about the new arrivals and their strangeness.

"S-Since you helped to organize the party…", began the Hobbit, with visible terror, but determined to complete his goal, "…and at Hobbit parties it is a tradition to give oneself a gift to each other, s-so I thought I'd give you this", the halfling concluded as he offered the demon a recipe manual for various types of meat.

"Oh, a very interesting tradition", commented Alastor while he took the book and quickly leafed through it, "Hmm, it's a shame my favorite meat is missing."

"And w-which"would that be?", asked the Hobbit, his worry growing again.

"Do you really want to know?", asked the demon as he brought his face closer to his interlocutor's, revealing his red eyes glowing an intense crimson.

"Bilbo! Where are you?!", exclaimed an elderly female voice, that of Lobelia Sackville, who, together with her son Lotho, was still on the trail of the relative who owned Bag End.

These words caught the attention of the radio demon, who sensed the opportunity.

"Excuse me, my dear, but we should postpone our pleasant conversation until later", Alastor informed as he handed the halfling his book back, half-man was completely immobile. The only movement she could make was shiver like a leaf in the cold winter wind.

"Where did that scoundrel go?", Lobelia wondered.

"I don't know, mother", replied her son Lotho.

"Silence!", thundered the Hobbit woman as she continued to search for Bilbo.

"Sorry", said the radio demon, appearing right behind the Hobbits, who jumped.

"Who is that?!", Lobelia exclaimed as she prepared to strike the person who had frightened her with her umbrella, which she didn't do when she saw the source of the voice. "What do you want?", the old lady asked in a grumpy tone.

"Now, now, my dears", Alastor said to calm things down, "I don't think we should lose our temper. I hear you're looking for Bilbo, as I am too, perhaps we can help each other", the radio demon continued with a dazzling smile.

"Oh no, no, no, we have nothing to share with you strangers", replied Lobelia, who was already preparing to leave.

"Oh, I can understand your distrust", said the demon who had appeared before the Hobbits, startling them again. "But I assure you, I don't want Bilbo's riches and home. All I need is one ring", said Alastor. "You take everything, and I take this one ring. Do we have a deal?", the demon concluded, making his offer, holding out his right hand, the atmosphere around him filling with a static sound and some peculiar green flames.

"Oh no!", cried the Hobbit woman as she struck Alastor's hand with her umbrella, "We won't take anything from you! Go away!".

"Oh, I don't think it's worth getting warm", the demon replied as he leaned on his staff.

"Get away now! You with that pompous dress, that angry beast smile and that horrible sorcerer's staff, as if there weren't enough of them here!", exclaimed Lobelia as she was tearing part of the demon's clothing.

"I get it, good manners don't work, it's time to use…", Alastor began as his demonic form could be seen manifesting, with his neck lengthening, as did his horns, his eyes they looked like to the buttons of a radio and his smile that somehow managed to be more frightening than before, "...strong manners", he concluded in a distorted voice.

Lobelia and Lotho stood still, watching the entity transform into something worse than before. When Alastor finished his sentence, the two Hobbits broke into a run, as fast as their years allowed. For once, the demon decided to let them live, for now.

"I have to go to the tailor again", complained the radio demon, returning to his normal form. Looking around, he saw two young halflings, one of whom Alastor knew from his face, Pippin. The two in question were seen taking a sizable dragon-shaped firework from Gandalf's chariot and then stealthily leaving. "Oh, I have a feeling this is going to get pretty fun".

The Hobbit pair continued running for a while, until they felt safe, and so they decided to stop.

"Um, sorry, by any chance…", began a voice from behind the two.

Instinctively, Lobelia turned and saw that the one speaking to her was one of the newcomers in this case, Husk. He was walking blindly, asking passersby if they had seen Bilbo. Of all the people he could have asked, he found himself asking Lobelia, even though the meeting was completely unintended. It was his failure to recognize the pair in time that led to the encounter. The demon could have flown to better scout the territory, but out of negligence and to avoid attracting attention, he decided to continue by land.

"Oh, not another one of you!", exclaimed Mrs. Hobbit as she whacked the feline demon on the head with her umbrella, then walked off her son.

"Fuck! What's wrong with her?!", Husk gasped as he held his head with his left hand, trying to make the pain go away. After a few steps, Husk reached a chair, on which he sat to rest for a moment after that blow. Looking around, the demon noticed something, namely the barrels of alcohol right next to the chair. That was Barley's seat, who, apparently, had moved away for a moment. Furthermore, near the barrels there were also a few mugs. Husk had some second thoughts, but in the end decided to take one of the cups and started to fill it.

"Well, you have to be well hydrated to start a search", commented the feline demon and then started drinking.

"I think I'm starting to feel sick", Charlie informed her while still sitting at the table, with dozens of empty plates in front of her, proving that she had eaten everything on them.

"Oh, but there's one last thing to try", Myrtle replied in a tone that was meant to convey confidence.

"Again?!", asked the princess, her hands clutching her abdomen.

"Relax, this really is the last one. A slice of Bilbo's cake. He's the birthday boy. You can't give him such a hard time, he's also old", the half-woman stated.

"Hmm… okay, but this is really the last thing I'm tasting", Charlie warned, trying to sound as serious as possible, even though the stomach cramps weren't helping much.

"Certainly", Myrtle assured.

At that point, the princess found herself faced with a plate that managed to thrill the others simply by placing it on the table, given its contents: a slice representing at least one-fiftieth of the first layer of the cake. At that sight, Charlie's eyes looked at the cake like a soldier looking at the sword that is about to decapitated him, knowing that that will be his end.

"It's the last course, Charlie, it's the last course", Charlie repeated to herself to give herself strength and immediately began to eat that slice of cake, piece after piece, each one feeling like a boulder landing on her stomach, but in the end she came out the winner.

"Now, young lady, was the cake good or not?", asked Myrtle, who, along with the others, concentrated on the princess to hear her answer. The entire table fell into absolute silence, with everyone immediately stopping to hear the newcomer's opinion.

Obviously, Charlie could sense the tension that had built up at that moment, and being a polite person, the princess knew what to say to ease the tension.

"It was fantastic, really excellent, I don't think I've ever eaten a cake like that", commented Charlie.

At that point there were moments of silence, during which the tension only grew.

"You heard the guest! She liked it! What are you doing sitting on your hands, bring her another slice!", Myrtle shouted, urging the serving staff to prepare another for Charlie.

"Hey! Wait a minute! You said that…", the princess began, then grunted and let her head fall onto the table.

Sir Pentious, meanwhile, was still searching for the Hobbit, with little success. This may also have been due to the fact that, as mentioned above, his reptilian appearance and size made him the subject of misunderstandings about his nature, with many turning away as soon as his figure appeared, even if only in the distance.

The only ones who were not afraid were the Hobbit children, who, as soon as they saw him, went straight to meet him.

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!", the group exclaimed, frightening the snake at first.

"Oh! Who is it?! Oh, hello again", Pentious began, "I'm sorry, but the dragon's a bit busy at the moment, in fact, have you by any chance seen Bilbo?".

"We'll only tell you where it is if you breathe fire", the group leader suggested.

"Spit fire! Slit fire!"Spit fire!", the remaining Hobbits began to repeat.

"Um, breathing fire, you say?", the sinner asked as he looked around, noticing there were a lot of people around and he couldn't shoot a flame out there. He needed something more discreet, and then an idea came to him. "Okay, how about the dragon hit that lantern over there with a fireball?".

"Yes!", the group shouted with joy.

"Perfect, just watch", Pentious said as he positioned to conceal the weapon, which had a secondary fire for long-range shots. All the snake had to do was set the secondary fire, make sure no one was watching or in the line of fire, and fire. The shot flew across the lawn and struck one of the hanging lanterns, which exploded into hundreds of pieces.

"Wow!", said the Hobbit boys and girls in unison, and they all immediately took up the supposed dragon, carrying it in triumph and making it a bed for the crowd who carried it around.

"Er, excuse me, I should be looking for Bilbo, could you tell me where he is?", asked the snake again, but the children's cheers drowned out the sound of every question. "Well, surely the others will stay doing better", thought Pentious, as he decided to enjoy that moment of glory.

"Just one more and then I can go", Husk said in a tone that showed the first signs of drunkenness.

"Husk!", a female voice exclaimed, "What are you doing?!", continued the voice, which belonged to Vaggie.

The feline demon turned and saw the white-haired girl dragging behind her an incredible amount of gifts. Luckily, among the various gifts was a sack to fit them all, with the result that this gray-skinned girl could be seen carrying a sack at least twice the size of the girl, a sack that was filled with all sorts of objects.

"I could ask you the same thing, Santa Claus", Husk replied, "Where did you get all that stuff?".

"These are gifts, it's a Hobbit tradition to give each other gifts, at least that's what they said", Vaggie justified herself.

"Excuse me, miss, there's this too", said a Hobbit who was bringing yet another gift to the girl.

"No!",began Vaggie, "No more gifts!", she gasped.

"Okay, okay", replied half-man before leaving, "Look at you. You act all nice, and these new arrivals repay you like this, what people!", commented the Hobbit as he walked away.

"Anyway, where are the others?", asked the white-haired girl.

"That woman is a man!", a half-man was heard screaming and running away in fear, and this last one was seen by Husk and Vaggie.

"If you can't tell a male apart from a female, it's certainly not my fault", said Angel Dust, who, following the Hobbit, found himself in front of the two from before. "Hey, how are you guys?", he asked, then noticed the bag full of gifts from Vaggie, "Vags! You went shopping and didn't call me?", he said in a mock offended tone.

"Angel, what do you have in your mouth?!", exclaimed Vaggie, noticing the pipe in the porn star's mouth.

"Relax, it's not addictive, I've been assured. Plus, it's very relaxing, I think you need it too", replied the spider demon. "But, joking aside, has anyone found Bilbo?".

"I was looking for it until that old bitch Lobelia hit me on the head, at which point I thought it was best to take a break", said the feline demon.

"I've had trouble with Hobbit traditions", added the gray-skinned girl.

"Okay, what about smiles instead?", asked Angel Dust.

"Was someone looking for me?", asked Alastor, appearing behind the porn star.

"Fuck!", Angel exclaimed, "There you are, so how did it go?".

"Well, let's just say I've made some new acquaintances", the radio demon began, and just then Lobelia and Lotho Sackville-Baggins happened to be passing by. "Hello, Lobelia", Alastor greeted, and as soon as his voice reached the couple's ears, they immediately began running as fast and as far as they could, a feat the demon appreciated with a laugh.

"What did you do to them?", Vaggie asked him.

"Oh, nothing special. I just gave a lesson on what happens when you disrespect the wrong person", Alastor replied, his eyes shining again and his smile widening.

There Husk swallowed quickly, knowing what the owner of his soul meant by those words.

"Alastor! Do you think it's time to…", began Vaggie, when she realized that there were still others missing, "...wait a minute, where's Charlie?".

Just then the princess of Hell arrived.

"Hey honey!", said the white-haired girl. "Are you okay?", she asked her girlfriend, as she noticed she didn't look too good.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine", she replied in a weak voice while still holding her hands on her stomach.

"Dollface, am I wrong or are you green in the face?", the porn star noted.

"Oh, I might have overdone it a little with the food", affirmed Charlie.

"Miss, here you are, as a souvenir", informed a Hobbit woman, who handed Charlie a mature cheese.

The pungent smell of the food was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

"Oh, I can't do it!", the princess gasped, just before she went behind the barrels and vomited up all the food she'd eaten, including the cake. Her girlfriend then comforted her.

"Go ahead, throw it all out, all right, like this", Vaggie said as she kept a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

In the midst of all this, the group of children arrived, still intent on carrying Sir Pentious as if he were a celebrity.

"Pentious, what are you doing?", Husk asked, which brought the snake back to reality.

"What? Oh yeah. Sorry, but the dragon has to go now", Pentious informed.

"No", all the children said in unison, disappointed.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry too, but we'll see each other again, dragon's word", the snake assured.

"Hurray!", the group shouted in unison before moving away.

"Dragon?", Angel asked in an amused tone.

"It's the only way I can get them to listen to me", Sir Pentious began. "But getting back to us, has anyone found Bilbo?", asked the snake, curious to know if anyone had completed the task.

"No", Angel replied.

"No", Husk added.

"No", Vaggie repeats.

Charlie responded with a retching sound.

"There have been some mix-ups", Alastor said.

"Oh, I see", Pentious admitted.

"It seems incredible to me. There are seven of us and we can't find a single person", affirmed Vaggie, unable to believe that situation.

"Wait, seven? Where's Niffty?", Angel wondered.

The answer came later, with the shouts of some Hobbits.

"Miss, please! It's all already clean!", begged onehalf-man.

"It's not clean enough", replied the little Cyclops, who was busy polishing every dish she could find, even though her obsession with cleanliness was starting to become worrying even for the inhabitants of the Shire.

"Okay, we're all here", Angel Dust concluded.

"That doesn't mean we couldn't find anyone at his birthday party", commented the feline demon still holding his mug.

At that precise moment, a light explosion was heard and a red flame was seen flying into the sky, a flame that then took the shape of a dragon.

"Um, is this stuff starting to take effect or do you also see a dragon in the sky?", asked the porn star, doubtful about the possible side effects of that pipe weed.

"Yes, I see that too", Husk said in agreement.

"Okay, someone whose blood isn't 99% alcohol", added the spider demon.

"Hey!", the ex-overlord gasped.

"Come on, you'd do the same thing if you were high", Angel stated.

"Well, I can't blame you", confessed the feline demon as he downed another mug.

"And yes, I see that dragon too, I must say that Gandalf is good with fireworks", commented the snake.

Then the dragon, which was rising upwards, turned and went to point towards the ground, and more precisely towards the area dedicated to the celebration.

"Maybe he's a little too good", Pentious added, seeing the giant monster approaching them.

"Oh, now things are getting interesting", said Alastor as he transformed into a shadow to get out of the dragon's line of fire.

"Charlie! We have to go!", Vaggie exclaimed as she pulled her girlfriend towards her.

"What's happening?", Charlie asked, still stunned.

"There's no time! We have to go!", replied the white-haired girl, who began to run, dragging her lover along with her.

Meanwhile, the other people present, whether demons or Hobbits, also began to run away to take shelter.

"Hmm?", snorted Husk, who had been standing still drinking from his mug and only after a few moments did he understand what was happening, just enough time to understand the situation before a crowd of Hobbits came towards him, overwhelming him and leaving him on the ground.

"Where is everyone going?", asked a Niffty curious to understand what was causing all this panic, which she found fascinating. Finally she turned and saw a fire dragon coming towards her, "Pretty", commented only to be grabbed by Sir Pentious, who ran, or rather crawled, with all the energy he had.

Everyone was running for safety, with people overturned tables, even those filled with all that food so desired by the halflings, but even they put the survival instinct above eating.

"Bilbo, watch out for the dragon!", Frodo exclaimed to warn his uncle of the danger.

"Nonsense! We haven't seen a dragon here for a thousand years", said Bilbo confidently, having not yet seen the fiery beast behind him.

After a few moments everyone threw themselves to the ground so as not to be caught and the dragon crossed the entire area, then rose again, and just as quickly as it had arrived, it disappeared in a heap of sparks.

At this point everyone started applauding at the incredible effect created by that firework.

"That's nice", Merry said with his face covered in soot.

"Let's get another one", encouraged his friend Pippin, but then two hands came and grabbed the two Hobbits by the ears.

"Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. I should have known", affirmed a calm voice, which was Gandalf's, "Since you're so eager to get your hands moving, I know what you can do", the wizard added as he led the two toward a tent where the dirty plates, forks, and knives were piled up, or at least what was left after Niffty's intervention. "You were unlucky that someone took away a lot of the fun, but something remained".

The two halflings found themselves having to clean the dishes as punishment.

Meanwhile the crew was recomposing following that scare.

"Damn! These guys sure aren't messing around with fireworks. I have to tell Cherry about that", the porn star commented.

"Hmm, where has our dear Husker gone?", the radio demon wondered as he reappeared, only to see Husk lying on the ground, snoring. "There he is", Alastor pointed with his stick before approaching the sleeping feline demon and then placed the tip of the stick near one of Husk's ears and made a shrill sound to wake him up.

"What the fuck is going on?!", the demon bartender gasped.

"Welcome back among us, was the dream world beautiful?", asked the overlord in an amused tone.

"Certainly better than this world where you're in", Husk replied.

"Oh, you offend me, my dear", replied the radio demon with a theatrical pose and a mock offended tone.

"Okay, let's not get distracted, remember what our goal is. Find Bilbo", Vaggie reminded the group.

As the girl uttered that sentence, all the Hobbits in the Shire began to shout in unison.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!", the people repeated loudly half-men and half-women.

"Speech Bilbo!", exclaimed a Hobbit in the crowd.

"Wait! Bilbo?!", Charlie reacted, recovering from all that food.

"Finally!", Angel Dust exulted.

"The legend shows itself in flesh and blood", commented the radio demon.

Immediately all the demons turned to see Bilbo, who had climbed onto the stage to make himself heard by all the participants.

At that moment, the hotel crew saw Bilbo's true appearance, with white hair and some wrinkles on his face, something they hadn't expected. They thought they saw a younger-looking Hobbit, with curly brown hair and a face free of wrinkles, though the signs of old age were far less evident than they should be for someone his age.

"Is that Bilbo?", Sir Pentious asked the rest of the group.

"He looks much older than I thought", the princess of Hell stated.

"Exactly, the last time we saw him he had brown hair and a much younger look", added his white-haired girlfriend.

"It makes sense, though, he's still 111 years old", Husk observed, still stunned by the rude awakening.

"What a bad collapse he had", commented Angel.

"I thought these Hobbits had a very long life expectancy, and that at 111 they were still considered young, or at least looked that way", Charlie admitted, not knowing how to explain the Hobbit's appearance, but meanwhile the aforementioned Hobbit began his speech.

"My dear Baggins and Buffins", began Bilbo, with the members of both families cheering when they were named, "Took and Brandybuck", continued the halfling, with further cheering from the families, "Burrows, Chubb, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdle…," went on Bilbo, "... and Proudfoot!".

"Proudfoot!", repeated the interested Hobbit, which elicited laughter from the rest of the crowd.

"Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday…"

"Happy birthday!", cheered all the inhabitants of the County.

"One hundred and eleven years is not enough among such remarkable people. I know only half of you, and I give half of you half the affection you deserve", Bilbo said.

Hearing those sentences, everyone present remained uncertain as to what that statement meant.

"You know", Lobelia began, speaking, "Bilbo's house is full of riches, and he lives here. Let's go and get it".

"Silence, you witch!", the porn star intervened.

"How dare you…", however Mrs. Hobbit had to stop when she saw the radio demon turn towards her.

"Excuse me, my dear, but I think Bilbo wants to finish his speech", commented Alastor, stretching his smile as wide as he could, managed to silence Lobelia. "Please proceed", the demon concluded, turning to the birthday boy.

"Okay…", said Bilbo, then took the reins of the conversation again, "… however, I would also like to thank the new arrivals, who made it possible for this party to take place".

"Hurray!", cried all the Hobbits.

"Don't worry, it was a pleasure for us", affirmed the princess waving to the crowd in all directions.

"Thank you, thank you, it's not necessarily praise us, but if you really want to", replied the spider demon with a smile and a flirtatious tone.

As tempers calmed, Bilbo's tone could be heard becoming more serious and less cheerful.

"It has been a lovely evening. However, I have business to do", began the Hobbit, and as he did so, his hand reached for something in the pocket of his red vest, which caught Gandalf's attention. "I have put it off too long", continued the halfling, hiding the ring behind him.

"What does he mean?", Pentious asked.

"Things aren't looking good", Vaggie added.

"I am sorry to say that this is the end. I am going away", said Bilbo, his hands clutching the Ring, ready to be put on.

"What?!" Charlie gasped, "No, no, no, this is not right".

"I greet you from the bottom of my heart. Farewell," the halfling concluded his speech, then donned the Ring and disappeared before everyone.

"What happened?!", gasped a female Hobbit.

"Where did he go?!", asked one half-man.

These were just some of the reactions from the group of party guests, who didn't know how to explain it all.

"Shit!", Angel Dust cursed, slamming his hand on the ground.

"Where did it go?", Niffty asked.

"What do we do now?", asked Husk.

"Okay, let's all calm down!", Vaggie said to get the group back together, "Maybe he's still around here, let's try looking for him again."

"Again?", complained Husk, Angel and Pentious.

"Let's go, no more fuss!", concluded the white-haired girl, reiterating her point by banging her fist on a table.

The moment the fist hit the wood of the table, creaking sounds could be heard coming from the stage, and immediately the stage fell to the floor.

"No!", the porn star shouted as he ran towards the rubble and everyone else followed him, not understanding the reason for such agitation.

"Angel, what's going on?", Charlie asked when she and the rest of the group arrived and saw the spider demon hugging something. "Aww, Angel, you helped a hobbit".

"A Hobbit?", said Angel, confused, moving enough to show what he was clutching in his arms, namely the board with the nail fixed by the demon, a board that miraculously was intact and the nail was still there.

"I wonder why I'm not surprised", commented the girl with gray skin.

Throughout all this, there was someone watching the scene with his guard up, namely Gandalf, who, after seeing his friend pick up what could easily have been a ring and then disappear, could see that there was a grain of truth in the words spoken by that tall, red-clad individual, and now there was only one thing to do.

While all this was going on at the party, Bilbo, still invisible thanks to the Ring, was calmly returning to his home. With all the calmness in the world, the Hobbit opened the gate to his courtyard, crossed the path, and reached the door, opening it and entering his dwelling. There he took off the Ring, becoming visible again.

Bilbo was amused that the little surprise he had planned had worked out, an amusement fueled by seeing the shocked faces of the participants. The Hobbit took the Ring in his hand and twirled it in the air before put it back safely in the pocket of his red vest and immediately began to prepare everything he needed for his new and last journey.

"You must think yourself incredibly clever", argued the wizard Gandalf, whose words made the halfling jump slightly, though he regained his composure almost immediately after recognizing his friend's voice, and Bilbo was aware of Gandalf's abilities, so he did not turned out it was too incredible that the wizard had managed to get to Bag End before him.

"Come, Gandalf! Have you seen their faces?", asked the half-man,wanting to break the tension, since he didn't see what the problem was in using that ring for this little prank.

"There are many magic rings, and as I have said before, none of them should be used so lightly", criticized the sorcerer for the superficiality with which his friend used that potentially dangerous instrument.

"But it was just a bit of fun", Bilbo tried to play it down, then relented. "Perhaps you're right, as usual", he admitted as he continued to organize everything for the departure. "You'll give Frodo a hand, won't you?".

"Two hands. When I don't have to use them to keep someone else in check", the sorcerer replied.

"Are you referring to the new arrivals? They weren't so bad after all. I've seen few people stand up to Lobelia and still find themselves with said head without a single blow from an umbrella", commented the Hobbit, aware of his relative's attitude, "Anyway, I leave all this to Frodo", assured the halfling as he put away one of his various books in his backpack.

"And will you leave him your ring too?, asked Gandalf, who asked the question to test his friend.

"Yes, yes. It's in a bag, on the mantelpiece", he informed his friend, and the wizard immediately began looking for the Ring. "No, wait, I've got it here in my pocket", Bilbo corrected himself, putting his hand into the pocket where the Ring was kept, which the halfling took, and began to turn over his treasure in his stubby hands, "The ring, isn't it strange?", he wondered in a voice slightly amused by the situation, which, however, soon became slower and deeper, "Yes, after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?", Bilbo began to wonder.

"Perhaps it would be best if you left it behind", advised the sorcerer. "Is that so difficult for you?".

"Well, no", his friend replied immediately, "Yes, I do. I don't want to part with it. It's mine! I found it! It came to me!", the halfling began to shout.

"There's no need to get angry", the wizard intervened.

"IF I'M ANGRY, IT'S YOUR FAULT!", the Hobbit exclaimed, overcome with fury and annoyance, which further put Gandalf on guard. "It's mine. All mine, my treasure", the halfling muttered, his eyes wide as he stared at his prize, the Ring.

"Treasure? It's been called that before, but not by you", said the wizard, who could hear two voices referring to the ring as a treasure. One was shrill and slurred, the other slightly distorted in a way that not even Gandalf himself could define.

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I DO WITH MY OWN THINGS!", Bilbo fumed at his wizard friend.

"I think you've held it long enough", the wizard stated, using a much deeper, more authoritative voice.

"You want it for yourself, don't you?", insisted the Hobbit, insinuating that his friend wanted to take his dear treasure.

"Bilbo Baggins!", thundered Gandalf and immediately the halfling recoiled in fear, "Don't take me for some cheap sorcerer!", he added as his shadow expanded in every direction, which obscured every light in the room, "I'm not trying to rob you…", then the darkness outbringing everything back to normal, "...I'm trying to help you", he concluded in a calmer, more understanding voice, giving a reassuring smile.

At that moment, Bilborinsavìand approached his friend to hug him.

"Throughout your long years, we have been friends. Believe me, as in the past. Leave him here", the sorcerer commanded.

"You're right, Gandalf. The Ring must go to Frodo", the hobbit admitted, agreeing with his friend. Then the halfling picked up his pack and slung it over his shoulder, grabbing his staff for the journey.

"It's late. The road is long. Yes, it's time," said the half-man, who headed towards the door.

"Bilbo!", Gandalf began. "You still have the Ring in your pocket", he informed his friend.

"Yes", replied the half-man, who took the Ring and dropped it on the floor of the house, causing a soft thud. After this action, Bilbo went out the door and began to admire the night sky, "You know, Gandalf. I've been thinking of an ending for my book. 'And he lived happily ever after, until he died'".

"I am sure it will be so, my friend", assured the wizard.

"Goodbye, Gandalf", said Bilbo.

"Goodbye, dear Bilbo", said Gandalf in his turn, and then the Hobbit went on his way, humming.

"The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say".

"See you next time", commented Gandalf, who returned home and saw the Ring on the floor.

The wizard tried to take it, but as soon as his fingertips came even close to the jewel, the wizard felt a fire burning, even though he had not yet touched the Ring, and he sensed a kind of temptation. The desire to take the Ring and keep it for himself, to do us good and destroy evil once and for all. However, Gandalf knew what would happen if he gave in to temptation and immediately withdrew his hand. At that point, the wizard decided to consider whether this was truly the Ring he had so feared, and if so, what to do.

As Bilbo continued on his journey, someone was looking for him, albeit in the wrong place. The hotel crew was still searching the party area and surrounding area in a desperate attempt to find the Hobbit, obviously without success.

"Nothing here, did you find anything?", asked Vaggie, even though she could already imagine the response of the other members of the group.

"What do you think we found? Bilbo offering us a drink with the Ring? There's nothing", replied Husk, clearly growing tired of spending hours searching in vain.

"No sign of Bilbo from that area", reported Niffty, who came darting up beside the others and waved his hand across the area she had searched.

"Total zero on that side", added the porn star, "I'm starting to get tired of all this."

"It must be somewhere, maybe we just need to look harder…", the princess of Hell began to hypothesize.

"My dear, as much as your agonizing in vain attempts to achieve your unattainable goals is the best form of entertainment for me, I must tell you. Bilbo is no longer here, and there is no point in further searching", Alastor informed him.

"I have to agree with Al this time. There's no one here anymore. It's just us, not even the party decorations anymore. It's the seven of us in this empty meadow in the middle of the night", the bartender had to agree with the radio demon, something more unique than rare.

"You see, you know how to use your head sometimes", Alastor stated as he took Husk by the arm and he was rubbing his hand on the feline demon's head.

"Hey! Get your fucking hands off me!", Husk exclaimed as he freed himself from the grip of the owner of his soul.

"Er, sorry, but what do we do now?", asked Pentious. "Well, Bilbo clearly isn't there, so what's the plan?".

"Clearly we can't go on like this", said the white-haired girl. "We should try again tomorrow".

"Does that mean we have to sleep outside like tramps?", asked Angel Dust.

"Oh no, I may be an alcoholic, but I still have some lines I'd rather not cross", Husk said, he too was against that idea.

"Besides, am I the only one starting to feel cold?", said Sir Pentious, who was starting to feel the temperature drop, though he wasn't sure if it was an actual drop or if it was just his reptile-like perception.

"Hmm, I haven't felt this sensation in a long time. I wonder if it's like that cold you feel before you die?", the radio demon wondered, since he had been shot in the head, killing him instantly, leaving him unable to feel the cold associated with the first and last visit of the old lady with the scythe.

"I can't feel the tips of my fingers anymore", commented the little cyclops with a cheerful tone and a psychotic smile.

"Wait, I have something for the cold", Vaggie informed as she pulled some gifts from her bag, including blankets and scarves.

"Well, better than nothing, thank you, miss Vaggie", thanked the snake before taking a woolen blanket.

"I'll take this one, it matches my outfit", said the spider demon as he put on a pink scarf.

"These gloves are nice", admitted Niffty as he grabbed some work gloves.

"Better than freezing", Husk thought aloud as he found a blanket among the various gifts to keep himself warm.

"This is beautiful", commented Charlie while she and her girlfriend opted for two identical red scarves.

"Oh, no thanks, my elegance won't be ruined by a little chill", affirmed the radio demon, proud of his style and eager not to pollute it with scarves or other.

"Okay, that's better now, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be sleeping rough", Angel reminded us.

"I know, the idea doesn't thrill me either, but it's not like we have any other choice", replied the gray-skinned girl. "After all, who has a house that can hold seven guests and would be willing to welcome complete strangers?".

"Wait," the princess of Hell began, which caught the group's attention, "Perhaps there is one last place we can search or from which we might gain hospitality," Charlie concluded.

"Who, honey?" her girlfriend asked.

Chapter Text

"Bilbo! Bilbo", cried Frodo as he flung open the door of his dwelling, looking around and hoping to find his uncle still busy preparing for the journey, but he was not.

All he found was Gandalf smoking his pipe in front of the fire, deep in thought and speculation.

"My treasure. Treasure", the wizard repeated softly, recalling the voices that had described the Ring with that specific word.

"He's gone, hasn't he?", asked the Hobbit, though he already knew the answer. "He often said he wanted to, but I didn't take him seriously", Frodo admitted as he approached the wizard, but as he did so he saw the Ring on the floor and decided to pick it up, not understanding what it was doing there.

"What is this guy doing here?" he wondered.

"Treasure. My treasure", Gandalf continued, lost in thought and completely unaware of the halfling's presence.

Seeing that Gandalf gave no answer, Frodo decided to move closer and call out to him to get his attention.

"Gandalf", said the Hobbit.

"Yes?", replied the wizard, who had come out of his state of reflection and, looking at Frodo, saw that he was holding the Ring in his hand. "Bilbo's Ring", observed Gandalf with a smile. "He has gone to live with the Elves. He left you Bag End along with all his possessions. The Ring is yours now", the wizard informed the halfling as the latter took a bag to put the Ring in, as a safety measure, even though Frodo was not yet aware of the danger of that jewel.

Frodo placed the Ring in the envelope and it was immediately sealed with sealing wax by Gandalf himself.

"Don't keep it in plain sight. Hide it from both old and new eyes", the sorcerer warned seriously before rushing toward the exit door.

"And where are you going?", asked Frodo, noticing his friend's haste.

"I have things to attend to", the sorcerer replied tersely.

"What things?", the halfling asked again.

"Questions, which require answers", said Gandalf, now nearing the door.

"But you've only just arrived! I don't understand", admitted Frodo, who was puzzled by the wizard's words.

"Me neither", confessed the sorcerer. "Keep it a secret. And safe", Gandalf reminded before taking his staff and pointed hat and then walking away, leaving the Hobbit alone.

Frodo, then, remembering his friend's warning, began looking for a place to put the envelope.

"Perhaps here", thought Frodo, looking into a drawer of a cabinet in Bilbo's study, and in this drawer were kept several inkwells full of ink, "Better not", he said as he looked for another place to hide the jewel, but not before pausing for a few minutes to think back to the times when his uncle would sit and spend hours and hours writing, with him all the while was approaching sneaking over to peek at Bilbo's texts. "I could put it here", he speculated, opening a kitchen shelf filled with jars containing every conceivable ingredient, from flour to sugar. "Hmm, no, that won't do either", comment as he closed the shelf and returned to the entrance of the house, wondering where it might be hidden, he found a place to put the Ring. A chest filled with various blankets and tablecloths, enough to avert any suspicion. Besides, if you want to hide something from someone, the best place is right under their nose. The halfling immediately opened the chest and placed the envelope under all the wool and flannel blankets, then arranged them as if nothing had happened, and then closed the chest.

Just as the chest was closed, sounds could be heard coming from the door. Someone was knocking, and Frodo immediately went toward the door, thinking it might be Gandalf again, but just then he stopped and had second thoughts. After all, Gandalf himself had warned him.

Just to be safe, Frodo peered out a window to check who it was. The hand that knocked wasn't Gandalf's, but it wasn't a total stranger's either. In fact, from the window the Hobbit could see the seven demons they'd been talking about all along. He could make out the princess of Hell still knocking, her girlfriend at her side and the rest of the group behind her.

Frodo began to consider how to deal with this. He couldn't leave them there to freeze to death, that would go against the hospitality that distinguishes his people. But at the same time, his friend had warned him about prying eyes, both old and new. However, his altruistic side prevailed, especially since he was sure of the hiding place where he had put the Ring, so there wasn't much to fear. Besides, since these newcomers had been here, nothing bad had happened, so there was no reason for all this fear.

Heartened by these thoughts, the halfling walked to the door and opened it, to see what the crew wanted.

"Princess, no one's answering here", said the feline demon from the other, still-closed door. "I might as well go find another place to sleep."

"Wait a minute, maybe you didn't hear the first knock", Charlie tried to justify the situation with her classic, albeit weaker, optimism.

"Dollface, I don't know how much we're still out here before we freeze. We'd better go find shelter until we find some ice stalactites appendicitis from the nose", added the porn star, agreeing with Husk.

"Oh, Angel, you and your constant exaggeration and dramatization", commented the radio demon.

"Why am I making a big deal out of everything!? You're the one who always tries to create your own little show!", Angel Dust exclaimed.

"Mine is knowing how to find amusement in every situation", Alastor began. "Yours is little more than the whining of a child".

"Complaining like a child? Talk about anything that might have to interact with technology from after the 1930s, or he'll start off with his spiel about bad modernity and all the rest!", the spider demon replied.

"Boys! Calm down, both of you. Let's not get ourselves recognized here either", Vaggie stated.

"Hey! Now you're raising your voice too", said Angel.

"I'm raising my voice to tell you two not to wake up the whole neighborhood", the white-haired girl replied.

"Easy guys", Charlie ordered, "I know things aren't great but…", and just then the door opened, revealing Frodo.

"Hello, Charlie", greeted the Hobbit.

"Oh, hello Frodo", replied the princess of Hell.

"Do you know each other?", asked Charlie's girlfriend, noticing the familiarity between her lover and the halfling.

"Come on Vags, Dollface will be able to talk to a man, or a half-man, without you getting jealous", the porn star interjected with a smirk.

"It was just a question", Vaggie replied deadpan.

"And yes, anyway", Charlie spoke to answer the question of Vaggie, "We had a quick exchange during the preparations and in the middle of the party. He was taking me to Bilbo, then Myrtle arrived and that was it", the princess said.

"Ah, I thought I forgot something", admitted Frodo, who had the feeling of having left something unfinished. "Anyway, what can I do for you?", asked the halfman.

"Oh yes, sorry, I digress. Is Bilbo still here by any chance?", Charlie asked, hoping with every hope in the world that the Hobbit in question was there.

"I'm sorry, but Bilbo is no longer here. He has gone to the Elves, but I don't know the exact location. I only know that it's to the east, but no further", replied Frodo, sorry he couldn't be of further help.

The crew, hearing that answer, demoralized more than it already was.

"Shit!", Angel exclaimed, throwing a punch in the air, but it hit the edge of the brick-lined door. "Ah! Holy shit!", the porn star screamed, clutching her injured arm.

"This nightmare has no end", commented Sir Pentious with a hand to his face.

"Wait, Frodo", began the gray-skinned girl, "Does anyone by any chance know where Bilbo is now?".

Hearing that question, the Hobbit was a little hesitant to answer, but then he thought of the only person who knew exactly where the Elves were, namely Gandalf, and he was someone who would know how to handle them if the crew had malicious intent, which in any case seemed increasingly unlikely.

"Well, Gandalf knows where the place is", said Frodo.

"Oh, wonderful", Alastor interjected, smiling as always, "And tell me, my dear Frodo, would it be possible to have a chat with Gandalf?", asked the radio demon.

"I am sorry, but Gandalf has gone too", replied the halfman.

"What do you say?", Alastor said instinctively, his tone expressing his growing annoyance and his ears drooping.

"Gone? When?", asked the princess of Hell. "We saw him at the party".

"He left just a few minutes before you arrived. He said he had some questions to answer", replied the half-man,who could understand the group's frustration in not being able to find a way forward to solve their problems.

"And do we know when he'll come back, or if he'll come back?", asked the snake, although, like the rest of the crew, he was prepared for the worst possible answer.

"I don't know. Gandalf is a man who comes and goes in the Shire. He doesn't follow any particular pattern. All you can do is wait for him to finish what he has to do", Frodo informed him, trying to sound as gentle as possible.

"What is this!? A fucking joke?", exclaimed the feline demon on the verge of exhaustion, like everyone else.

"If it is, it was never funny", Angel added.

"No, no, no, we can't wait any longer, we're running out of time and…", Charlie began to panic, only to be reassured by Vaggie.

"Charlie", the white-haired girl said, grabbing the princess by the shoulders and shaking her out of her panic. "Calm down, we'll find a solution, I assure you", the girl continued. "Anyway", she began, this time addressing the Hobbit, "since Bilbo isn't here and we have nowhere to stay… we were wondering if you could…host us", concluded Vaggie, who tried to be as diplomatic as possible, hoping that this allowed the group to have a roof over their heads for that night.

"Hosting you? Well…", Frodo thought aloud.

"Frodo, calm down, nowe wantforce you. Up to now you are one of the people here who has treated us best, and that's already a lot", Charlie intervened, not wanting to impose on the halfling the obligation of having seven demons in the house, "If you really can't, you could at least tell us a place for the night".

There, Frodo had to make a decision. Trust his altruistic spirit and host them, or he could point the group to a place where they could take refuge, like the Green Dragon Inn. However, he didn't know if Barley would refuse them, leaving them in the cold night, whose frigid temperatures even the halfling could feel given the open door. At that moment, the Hobbit had to take stock of the crew's behavior, as he now had to decide whether to let them into the house or not, and therefore, in turn, approach the Ring. Since they'd been here, all they'd done was help, albeit in their own way, and Frodo was sure of the place where he'd put the envelope.

"All right, thanks anyway", said Charlie, who thought the Hobbit's prolonged silence was a refusal, and was preparing to leave with the rest of the group.

Those words brought Frodo out of his thoughts and he spoke at once.

"Wait", Frodo stated, which made the crew turn back to the door of the house, a little hope in their hearts.

For this time, their hopes turned out truthful, as the halfling stepped aside and opened the door further, "If you really don't know where to go, you can stay", he concluded.

"Really?", Charlie asked with growing excitement and stars in her eyes.

"Well, it's a cold night and I can't let travellers go…", the Hobbit couldn't finish his sentence before his eyes noticed a set of red and white spots running towards him.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!", Charlie repeated enthusiastically as he squeezed Frodo into a hug that on the outside looked more like a crush, as it was leaving the Hobbit breathless.

"Charlie, if you keep squeezing there won't be anyone left to thank", warned her girlfriend, who could see that Frodo was clearly having difficulty breathing.

"Oh!", the princess gasped, then left her benefactor. "Sorry", she admitted, seeing that the halfling's face had turned blue from lack of air.

"Easy", Frodo began in a weak voice, caused by recent asphyxiation, "Come in".

"Finally", commented Angel Dust and everyone entered, with the taller members having to duck their heads to avoid bumping into each other.

Upon entering, the entire crew noticed the interior of the house, which was very different from what they had imagined. They had imagined something more rustic, with a more rudimentary style given the fact that the house was built into a hill. Instead, the crew found themselves greeted by a warm and bright atmosphere, created by the fireplace and the oil lamps arranged along the corridors. They contemplated the intimate and relaxing atmosphere created by colors like brown, yellow, green, and red, and their warm tones.

"Fiii", whistled Angel Dust, "Not a bad little house", commented and then crashed into the chandelier at the entrance, just like Gandalf did, "Fuck!", shouted the spider demon.

"Someone's got their head in the clouds", said the radio demon, amused by the scene.

"Haha, very funny", replied the porn star, who headed towards the left corridor to reach the main room, and here too the demon inadvertently imitated the sorcerer's behavior, hitting the upper beam with his forehead, "Ah! Are you kidding me?!".

"It's a very welcoming house… for all the detergents!", gasped Niffty as she saw the various books and maps scattered in a disorderly fashion throughout the house and immediately began to collect all the various writings in an attempt to put them in order.

"Hey, wait!", said Frodo as he chased the little Cyclops through the corridors to stop her.

"Um, Niffty, we're not at the hotel, there's no need to clean everything", Pentious observed in an attempt to calm the little housekeeper.

"But it's all messy!", Niffty replied.

"Niffty, stop it now", Vaggie ordered in a more authoritative tone.

"Hold on, I'm almost done", replied the cyclops as she took as many parchments as she could and put them in the first drawer she found, thus clearing the corridors of all that paper.

"Niffty, dear Frodo is hosting us, so it is only right that we follow his will, and as you can see, his will is the one you stop cleaning", the radio demon informed.

"Hmm…okay", the cyclops admitted and immediately stopped, returning with the rest of the group.

"I apologize for your behavior, you are a little... exuberant, let's say", apologized the princess of Hell, not wanting to make a bad impression in the eyes of their host.

"There's no need to apologize, I was like that as a boy too. When I think back to all the times someone ran after me after some prank", the halfling confessed, bringing back memories from his childhood, "And anyway, one of these days I'll have to tidy up the whole house now that it's officially mine", he continued, though a hint of bitterness was perceptible in his tone.

"Is everything all right?", asked Charlie, seeing the Hobbit become less cheerful and more serious.

"Yes, yes, of course", Frodo replied immediately, though he was hiding a certain regret at his uncle's departure. "I heard it was bitterly cold outside. Would you like some tea to warm you?", the Hobbit suggested.

"That would be great", replied the radio demon.

"Well, a hot drink would be perfect for my cold blood", commented the snake.

"Nah, better something stronger", Husk declined.

"Oh Husker, you could use a drink that doesn't make you snore like a hibernating bear", Alastor stated.

"Oh Al, think about what you're putting in those jaws. I've seen what you eat for breakfast, you have no right to elevate yourself as better than me", said the feline demon.

"Hmm, I'll do it anyway, and besides, it's not my fault you lack a refined palate", Alastor replied.

"Don't start again", warned the gray-skinned girl. "Sure, tea would be fine", she turned to the halfman.

"We've been going back and forth all the time, so a break is what we need", reflected the princess.

"You never refuse a free drink", the porn star said, "Even though alcohol would have been better".

"You're not at the hotel, take what you're offered", criticized Vaggie the Angel's claims.

"If you want, I have something in the cellar", the halfling informed.

"Oh no, that's not necessary. They'll make tea for themselves, we don't want to disturb you", the white-haired girl intervened, not wanting to take advantage of the Hobbit's hospitality.

"Certainly not disturbed, after all those barrels are not meant to sit there gathering dust", Frodo admitted with a smile on his face.

"Exactly! Seen Vags, take a cue from him", commented the spider demon.

"Grr", the girl growled softly, her face covered by her hands.

"So, what does the cellar hold?", asked Angel Dust.

"Well, we have ale, stout, red wine, white wine, cider, and mead", the halfling listed the possible choices.

"Hmm… a cider is perfect", Angel decided.

"Okay, I'll get it after I make the tea", said the Hobbit as he walked towards the cellar.

"Wait", began the demon bartender, "A cider for me too".

"Husk!", Charlie gasped.

"What, isn't it nice not to spit on hospitality?", Husk asked.

"Yes, but don't take advantage", intervened again Vaggie, critical of both Angel and Husk for treating Bag End like a hotel.

"No problem, I just need someone to help me make the tea", said the Hobbit.

"We'll take care of it", Charlie and Vaggie said in unison as they headed towards the kitchen to help Frodo, but here the princess of Hell noticed that something was missing.

"Wait a minute, where's Niffty?", Charlie wondered, and suddenly there was the sound of a rag scrubbing the floor.

"Niffty, what did we say about cleaning?", the gray-skinned girl said.

"Oh sorry, conditioned reflex", the little cyclops justified herself, "A tea for me too", she continued as she returned to the others.

"Okay, follow me", he said to the two girls as he led them into the kitchen.

The three reached a large room, where there was a large fireplace, numerous hanging copper pots, shelves containing plates, glasses and numerous spices, including the aromatic herbs needed for tea.

"Cute as a kitchen", commented the princess, seeing the size and the various equipment present in the room.

"Yes, and it's well equipped", added her lover.

"Thank you", replied the Hobbit to the compliments paid to his tea-making place. "Now could someone get the green pottery pot on that shelf, there are the tea leaves", he pointed to Frodo.

Immediately one of the two girls, Charlie, headed for the indicated spot, and as she opened the aforementioned shelf to take out the tea leaves, the halfling thanked himself for not having chosen that spot to hide the bag. Meanwhile, Frodo filled the kettle with water and added the leaves, then set everything on the hearth and waited for the tea to brew.

"A few minutes and it will be ready", he informed thehalf-manas he sat down.

"Perfect", Charlie began, thinking of something to start a conversation with, "Now, I have to say that there are a lot of books and maps in this house".

"Yes, Bilbo loved reading and writing. To him the world was a book waiting to be opened, one page at a time", replied the brown-haired hobbit.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bring your uncle into it", the princess apologized regretfully, fearing she had struck a raw nerve.

"No, it doesn't matter, after all, he's not dead", Frodo replied in an attempt to break the tension.

"Well, yes, we are sure of that", tried to answer Vaggie, clearly embarrassed, like Charlie, given that she didn't know exactly what to say to avoid possible new gaffes.

"Yes, although Bilbo has been a bit strange lately", Frodo admitted as he checked the kettle.

"What do you mean?", asked the gray-skinned girl.

"Well, he was always shut up in his study, avoiding social events more and more, and doing nothing but consulting old maps", explained Bilbo's nephew.

Listening to the list of those behaviors, Charlie and Vaggie bulged out of their minds their eyes widened, remembering the part of the movie they'd seen before being transported to that world, the part that spoke of the creature Gollum and how the Ring had driven him to madness and absolute isolation. The two girls looked into each other's eyes, wondering how to respond without arousing suspicion.

"I should have known then that Bilbo wanted to go, and that these were not just words spoken out of nostalgia for the old days", added the halfling, and here the two girls tried to find a suitable reply, but they could not find any suitable words, and remained thinking all the time of something to say until finally the tea was ready.

"Oh, the tea must be poured", remarked the Hobbit, as he took a cloth to hold the kettle.

Here Vaggie saw the teapot and removed the lid to allow Frodo to pour the tea.

"Oh, thank you", said the halfman as he poured the drink and subsequently got six cups and two goblets for himself and his guests, "Okay, let's go."

The three returned to the main hall and Frodo placed the tray on the large oval table of solid wood.

"Perfect, I'm going to get the mead now", the Hobbit informed and immediately headed towards the cellar to fill the two cups with the alcoholic beverage.

"Don't take too long, eh", interjected the porn star, eager to get her cup of mead.

"Angel!", suddenly thundered the two girls who had helped the Hobbit prepare the tea.

"What is it?!", the spider demon gasped.

"Don't treat Frodo like he's your butler", Vaggie stated.

"Yes, we talked to him, and he is still shaken by his uncle's departure, we don't think it's the right thing to do to annoy him further", her girlfriend added.

"Okay, okay. I didn't know that", the porn star admitted, a little remorseful for the superficiality with which he had treated their host.

"And what did you say to him to cheer him up?", Husk asked the two girls.

"Well, we tried to tell him something", Charlie began.

"What do you mean 'tried'?", Pentious asked in quotation marks with the fingers the term "tried".

"We didn't know what to say", the princess concluded.

"So while the boy was expressing his distress at the departure of his dearest relative, you remained in a numb silence", Alastor analyzed the situation, "What fun", commented.

"Shut up, Alastor! There's nothing funny about this", warned the gray-skinned girl.

"So you did something to comfort him", the smiling demon replied, and here the two girls remained silent.

"And then you come to me and lecture me", complained the porn star.

"You clearly have no future as bartenders", commented the feline demon.

A heated argument was about to begin, but it was nipped in the bud by Frodo's return with the two cups filled with amber liquid.

"Here I am", the halfling announced his return.

"Too bad, just when things were getting interesting", the radio demon said to himself.

"Oh, there's alcohol!", Angel exclaimed, seeing the hobbit with the cider in his hand. The cider was brought to the table along with the teacups.

"Help yourselves", the brown-haired halfling conceded, and immediately everyone present either grabbed their cups of cider or poured tea into their own mugs.

"Sublime", Alastor began. "While it's not like the one at home, it's still noteworthy".

"It's also warming", the snake added as he felt his body warming on the inside as well as the outside, causing any remaining cold to disappear.

"Good!", said the little Niffty with a smile that started from one side of his face and reached the other.

"And this cider is the bomb! Just the right amount of sweet and fizzy",the spider demon expressed his opinion.

"You could teach me the recipe, our bar could use some new things", Husk admitted with the faintest of smiles as he sipped cider from his glass.

"I'm flattered", the Hobbit replied to all the positive comments made about the tea and cider. "Perhaps anyone would like something to eat".

"No!", Charlie replied immediately, which made everyone turn to her, "Sorry, I still have fresh memories of all the dishes Myrtle served me".

"I understand, Myrtle is like that. We Hobbits are prepared for whatever food she wants to give us, but I can't say the same for other creatures. I still remember when a traveler came and said he hadn't touched food for a whole week. He had to beg Myrtle to stop bringing more food", Frodo recounted.

"I mean, someone who feels a great emptiness when he's not around", quipped the radio demon, who laughed at his own joke, while the others were completely neutral about the joke. After a few moments of silence following the radio demon's exit, someone tried to change the subject.

"Anyway, I have to admit, this house is incredible. I understand why that witch Lobelia…", the porn star couldn't finish the sentence before he felt an elbow hit his sternum, more precisely, an elbow from Vaggie.

"Forgive him, he lacks the filter that separates his thoughts from his mouth", said the white-haired girl, apologizing on Angel's behalf.

"I can understand the hatred towards Lobelia. The whole County hates her. Those around her do so out of self-interest or because they are held in check by her, given that she has properties to which many families are connected. I myself avoid her", explained the halfman.

"Yes, I was able to see firsthand her friendliness as well", commented sarcastically Alastor.

Meanwhile, Angel and Husk had fallen silent and were drinking their cider in terror. Frodo's description of Lobelia, especially the part about the people she held captive, reminded him of overlords, and more specifically, the possessors of their souls. Valentino in the case of Angel Dust and Alastor in the case of Husk. They pitied those inhabitants of the Shire forced to be servants to the old Hobbit's will because otherwise there would be consequences for them and those they care about. The two felt a shiver run down their spines, a shiver caused by the sense of powerlessness in the face of their masters. A feeling that, they believed, was the same one the Hobbits felt under Lobelia's control. Sure, that bitter lady was certainly not on the level of an unscrupulous pimp or a psychopathic serial killer, but the essence remained the same.

"But why is he so cruel?", asked Charlie, who always looked for the best in others, but in this case it was difficult for her.

"It's hard to say. From what I know, it's always been that way. He criticized Bilbo before, calling him a mad adventurer, and his contempt for him only grew when my uncle returned from his adventure and managed to reclaim the house, which he would fill with his riches. From then on, the Sackvilles spent years trying to take over this place and the riches Bilbo had earned", Frodo continued.

"But the riches are Bilbo's because if you earn them by risking your life, what does it have to do with Lobelia?", asked Pentious, not understanding the motivations of the old lady Hobbit.

"True, but the two of them still talk of kinship, even when Bilbo chose me as his heir, and from that moment I became just another obstacle between them and the house and its riches", answered the Hobbit.

"But that doesn't make sense," replied the snake.

"Yes, if you have been designated as the heir, Lobelia has no right to say that those riches and this house belong to her", added the princess of Hell.

"We've lost count of the times we've pointed this out to them, but when they talk like this, she becomes particularly hard of hearing. In fact, I don't rule out the possibility that right now she's plotting some subterfuge to take everything", Frodo concluded as he began to sip his tea.

"Viejia perra", commented softly Vaggie.

"Rather, I have a question for you. I only know Charlie by name. What are your names?", he asked the group, except Charlie.

"Vaggie",The gray-skinned girl replied deadpan, already expecting the typical reaction someone gets when they hear her name. Angel was already holding back laughter, which Vaggie had noticed and was shooting him a deathly look.

"It's a beautiful name", commented Frodo.

"Yes, very fun-", the girl began, then stopped suddenly, hearing those words, which were not the ones she had was waiting,"Wait, what did you say?".

"That is a fine name", repeats the Hobbit.

"Oh, well, thanks", Vaggie replied.

"Don't get used to it, Vags, spend a few days with us and you'll see he'll start laughing too", the porn star interjected with a little smile on his lips.

"Why should I laugh?", asked halfman, confused by the reason for the hilarity caused by the name "Vaggie".

"Oh, so innocent, how sweet", continued the spider demon.

"Stop it", warned the white-haired girl.

"And your name?", asked Frodo, turning to Angel Dust.

"Sweetheart, you have the privilege of speaking to one of the greatest stars in existence, the one and only Angel Dust", the porn star introduced himself with grandeur and decidedly little modesty.

"Okay, and you", the halfling continued, addressing the feline demon, "From what I hear, your name is Husk".

"Hey, wait!", Angel began. "Is that all? Okay, then move on".

"I don't understand", answered the Hobbit, confused as to what the four-armed being meant.

"Angel, don't be a dramaqueen", Husk intervened. "But yes, Husk is my name," he replied.

"All right", said Frodo, then turned to look at the cobra.

"Sir Pentious, and no, I am not a dragon or any such creature, although many think so", informed the serpent demon.

"Good to know, my family doesn't have a good relationship with dragons", Frodo admitted with a smile and a quick laugh.

"Look at you, he says 'ok' to me and then moves on and jokes and laughs with Pentious", the porn star complained to Husk while keeping her four arms crossed.

"Someone is looking for attention from the Hobbit", the bartender replied ironically.

"What? No, I'm just saying I deserved more than a meager 'ok'", Angel Dust replied.

"Perfect, and then…", the Shire resident began, only to find himself faced with a single eyeball staring back at him.

"Niffty, nice to meet you, I sweep", replied the little governess with a maniacal smile on her face.

"Okey, it's a pleasure for me too, Niffty", replied the halfling.

"You may not be a bad boy but you're not bad", commented Niffty.

"Er…thanks", the Hobbit tried to reply, "And finally".

"Alastor, the master of the radio, though I seriously doubt people in this place know what a radio is, how monotonous life must be here, without even a station to tune in to. However, I must admit that there are several hobbits in the Shire I'd like to include in my broadcasts, let those who have ears to hear, hear", affirmed the demon, his smile widening with each word, "Anyway, it's a pleasure to be able to speak with the grandson of the Hobbit who became legend", he continued as he held out his right hand, prompting Frodo to shake it.

When the two hands were about to touch each other, everyone's eyes widened, knowing what was happening.

"Stop!"shouted Charlie and Vaggie, who saw what Alastor was doing and immediately put down their teacups and rushed between the two, trying to stop it. But they arrived too late and… nothing happened, it was just a simple handshake.

"Why, what's happening?!", asked Frodo, hearing the two girls' gasps.

"Oh dear, two gentlemen can't even shake hands in greeting or all hell breaks loose. It's true that morality is dying", commented the radio demon, amused and pleased by the reactions of those present.

"I'm keeping an eye on you", Vaggie warned Alastor.

"Even because with two it's a bit difficult", replied the ever-smiling radio gentleman.

"Try that again if you dare, asshole!", exclaimed the girl with an eyepatch over her left eye as she pointed her finger at Alastor's chest, who continued to show nothing but satisfaction as he enjoyed his personal show.

"Calm down! Calm down! Calm down!", Charlie intervened between the two arguing people before a conflict broke out in the living room of a house that wasn't even theirs. "We're guests! Let's not start a fight!", the princess continued, and the tensions slowly eased.

"Okay…", Frodo began, relieved that the spirits had calmed down, "I'm glad to meet you all now", he continued, then yawned from tiredness, "Sorry, it's just tiredness, I think it's time for sleep", the Hobbit expressed his opinion.

"Yeah, it's actually pretty late. We should go get some rest too, after all, it's been a very long day", Charlie agreed.

"Come, I lead to the bedrooms", said the halfling as he took the tray with the teapot, the cups and the two goblets on it and carried them into the kitchen, so as to wash them the next day, he subsequently took a portable lamp and, using a pair of fireplace tongs, picked up a brand of coal and lit the lamp with it. The Hobbit then headed to his quarters for the night, with his crew in tow.

Frodo continued along the corridors lit by the various candles placed on the shelves, with everyone following him, until the halfling stopped and reached the first available room.

The Hobbit opened the door and advanced through the semi-darkness, his dim light reaching another oil lamp, set on a stone base. When the flame began to blaze, the light revealed a luxurious bedroom, with wooden floorboards, partly covered by a patterned rug. The room contained a large wardrobe, a small desk near a round window overlooking the fields of Hobbiton, and a small fireplace. But the most striking feature was the oak four-poster bed, with heavy floral curtains and cushions embroidered with the initials "B.B.".

"This is Bilbo's room, or rather it was about time he left", Frodo began, still trying to hide the traces of bitterness from his tone. "The bed is big enough for two", he informed.

"Ugh! It's perfect for me and Vaggie!", exclaimed the princess of Hell as she took her girlfriend's arm.

"Well, yes, definitely better than sleeping on the streets", commented the girl with white hair, smiling to try to appear proactive.

"Excellent, I only ask you to be careful", Frodo urged. "I have an emotional attachment to many of the members of this room, and so does my uncle, even though he is not here", he added, not wanting to appear materialistic or distrustful.

"Okay girls, so go easy if you plan on 'testing the bed suspensions'", the spider demon interjected, quoting marks with your fingers the final part of the speech.

"Angel!", replied the couple, with a slight blush on their faces, as they turned towards the homeowner, visibly confused as to what the porn star meant.

"Don't listen to him. We'll do everything we can to keep everything in order", Vaggie reassured.

"I am glad of that", spoke Frodo as the two girls entered Bilbo's room and the others continued their tour of the house.

Afterward, the rest of the group found themselves in front of two doors, not far from each other. The Hobbit opened them and lit the candles, and what the various demons saw were two rooms with rugs laid over a dark wooden floor, wooden coat hangers, a small table with an oil lamp and a vase of fresh flowers, a window, again round, and two beds in each room.

"Here are the guest rooms proper", said the halfling.

"Well, as Vags said, better than the road", commented Angel Dust as he entered the room on the left, "Do you want to come in, Husk?" he asked.

"Hmm… okay, but I warn you, I've put up with too much today, so don't start playing games or pushing things too hard, or you'll end up sleeping outside the door", warned the feline demon.

"Hey, don't worry, these hands can do more than you think, and you know it", Angel replied with a wink, making it clear what he was referring to.

"That's true too, Husk admitted as he followed the porn star into the bedroom.

"Oh, you two can take this room too", the radio demon spoke, referring to Pentious and Niffty. "I prefer to have my own space", Alastor added.

"Look!", exclaimed the little housekeeper, turning to the snake. "Everything needs tidying up", she warned before darting into the room.

"Um, Niffty, remember what we said about cleaning?", Pentious asked as he reached out to the cyclops to try to contain her obsessive behavior.

"Looks like there's only the two of us left", the radio demon stated.

"Yes", agreed the Hobbit, "that leaves the staff room, which is now empty. It's not the best, but it's something", commented Frodo.

"Oh, don't worry, my dear, I've already chosen my resting place. I'll sit in an armchair near the fireplace. I admit I find that atmosphere very relaxing", replied Alastor, then heading towards the main room, where the aforementioned fireplace was located.

"Okay… so goodnight", the halfling wished as he headed for his room.

"Let's hope so", replied the demon.

Finally, Frodo reached his room, and with his lamp he illuminated his cherry-wood bed with its green woolen blankets and soft pillows.

He used the dim light available to settle in for the night and got under the covers.

"Well, a Hobbit went out, and seven travellers came in. At least I can't complain about having no company", joked the Hobbit as he let himself be lulled by the comfort of his bed, and then, inexorably, fell asleep.

Meanwhile, in Bilbo's room, the two girls were ready for sleep, although they decided to take a closer look at the room, also to find out more about its previous owner.

"Look there", Charlie pointed to a portrait of Bilbo as a young man above the fireplace. "It's just like the one at the inn".

"That's true, and to think we spent an entire evening looking for someone who looked like that", Vaggie recalled. "And look, there's a map, too", the girl added, pointing to a map showing a place called "Erebor." "I wonder where Erebor is", she thought.

"Yes, yes", began the princess in a tone that did not hide a certain demoralization.

"Honey, are you okay?", his girlfriend asked, noticing his sudden change in attitude.

"I'm not entirely sure", Charlie replied. "It seems to me that everything we try to do for the hotel ends in disaster. I talk to the Heavenly embassy and the Extermination is brought forward, I try show-and-tell and end up messing with Angel's boss, and now I try watching a movie and we're transported to an unknown universe where we have to destroy an evil Ring whose where abouts we have no idea. What will happen next? Will a meteorite fall on the hotel? In short, for every step forward there are two steps back, it almost seems like a curse", she concluded in full despair.

"Charlie", began Vaggie, taking her lover's face in her hands, "I know it seems like there is no solution, but we knew what we were getting into when we decided to open the hotel, we certainly didn't expect people to come to us welcomed pulling us flowers and you don't have to blame yourself for everything. Adam is an asshole and the same Angel's boss, and the fact that they refused to listen to you is proof of that. And then, yes, the situation we're in right now isn't the best, but hey, look at us, we're all still safe and sound, and we'll all do everything we can to get you out of here and carry on your dream. I'll do everything I can", she concluded.

"Aww, Vaggie", said the princess, then kissed her lover on the lips.

"Come on, let's go to sleep, just in case this is all a dream", said the gray-skinned girl before turning off the lamp that illuminated the room and immediately the two closed their eyes and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, in the first guest room, shadows were lengthening on the walls.

"See, I told you these hands can do everything", affirmed the spider demon, who was doing shadow puppets, using the light of one of the candles.

"Well, it's not bad", commented Husk.

Angel then stopped casting shadows on the wall and sank into bed, letting out a long sigh.

"What's the matter with you?", asked the bartender.

"Nothing, I was thinking about when we get back…", Angel began.

"If we come back", the feline demon interjected.

"Don't be pessimistic!", Angel Dust exclaimed. "I was just saying. I was thinking about the excuse I'll have to make up with Val".

"Yes, it won't be easy", Husk admitted, aware both of Valentino's behavior and of how absurd the situation they were experiencing at that moment was.

"You can say it out loud. Can you imagine? Yes sorry Val, I didn't come to the set because a cursed film teleported me to a world inhabited by sorcerers and garden gnomes", said the porn star, hypothesizing a possible argument scenario between him and his boss.

"From the way you told me about it, I imagine his brain would stop at understanding the meaning of the word teleport", said the bartender.

"I have no doubt he could do it", Angel joked with a quick laugh, which faded into a more serious tone. "At least as long as I'm here he can't get me."

"Yeah, maybe this place isn't that bad, certainly better than Hell, except for a few things like…", Husk began.

"...Lobelia", they both said in unison.

"Did you think of Al when Frodo spoke of Lobelia?", asked Angel.

"Yes, and you thought about Val, right?", the cat demon asked in turn, to which the spider demon nodded.

"As much as some of these Hobbits are assholes, they don't deserve what I go through every day", the porn star commented.

"Yes, these Shire people aren't monsters, they're just people who aren't used to being around people like us. That doesn't justify them treating us like criminals or beasts, but they don't deserve hellish punishments either", Husk concluded.

"You're right", the porn star stated before yawning. "Okay, it's definitely time for bed. I hope Fat Nuggets doesn't hear alone tonight", he said before settling down to sleep. "Night", Angel concluded before blowing out his candle.

"Night," Husk replied after doing the same with his own candle.

"It's your turn, Niffty", warned Pentious, who had found a way to contain the little cyclops, namely chess.

"Okay", replied Niffty while she was thinking about which piece to move.

"Remember, to win you have to corner your opponent's king, that is, you must leave him no chance of escape, and once you've done that you must say 'Checkmate'. Now, I've been playing chess for years now, so don't worry if...".

"Checkmate!", cried the Cyclops.

"Wait, what?", asked the snake, who immediately looked at the chessboard and saw that the little governess had won. "How is that possible?", he wondered, not understanding how someone who had learned how to play five minutes earlier had managed to beat a professional player.

"One to zero!" exclaimed the little governess.

"Well", Pentious began, regaining his composure, "Must be beginner's luck. Now it's getting serious", he informed.

Apparently Niffty was lucky, as he won all his subsequent games, with the cobra calling upon all his experience accumulated over years of playing, but to no avail.

After ten losses, Sir Pentious threw in the towel.

"Okay, that's enough, I give up. I'm going to sleep", he said before crawling to his bed and letting sleep take over, trying to forget those defeats.

"Hurray! I won! I won! I won!", Niffty repeated, which made it even harder for Pentious to fall asleep.

In all this, Alastor had settled into a comfortable armchair placed right in front of the fireplace.

"You seem a little down, my dear fire", commented the demon, who decided to use his powers to rekindle the flame, even if it had a more greenish color than the classic red-orange, "Much better".

Alastor looked around, scrutinizing the various books scattered everywhere and, driven by curiosity, picked up one of the various writings present there while summoning shadow tentacles that carried a cup and the teapot with the rest of the tea.

"Herbology, hmm, I'll settle for that", said the demon, and with his powers he extinguished all the fires still burning in the house, except for the fireplace. And so, the darkness of night fell upon the Baggins' house.

This sudden change from light to darkness was noticed by outside eyes, namely those of Lobelia, who was monitoring the house. She hadn't yet given up hope of taking Baggins's house, and had long since begun monitoring it day and night from her bedroom window, seeing what was happening there. This was easy, since from the Sackvilles' house one could glimpse Bag End, which was both an advantage and a curse, since she could always see that beautiful home in hands other than hers, something she detested. However, that night, which seemed to be like any other, revealed some peculiarities, such as seeing the new arrivals approach Baggins's house and subsequently seeing shadows too numerous to be generated by a single person and whose forms were too tall and thin to be those of a Hobbit. Furthermore, the sudden going out of all the lights in the house suggested a possible magical intervention.

"Damned ones", croaked the old hobbit, glaring at what little of the house she could see. "They make a mess, and now they're turning my house upside down", she continued, placing particular emphasis on the last part, confirming her obsession with Bag End.

After a few last glances, Lobelia moved away from the windows to lie down on her dark wooden bed, surrounded by black curtains to keep out even a ray of light.

"Oh, if that pest Frodo Baggins thinks he can let anyone he wants in without consequences, he's sorely mistaken", she concluded before starting to pull the strings of new plots, which slowly led her to sleep.

Meanwhile, a crow was perched on top of the Sackville house and after a few cawing sounds, it took flight, once again to parts unknown.

Chapter Text

And as day gave way to evening, so did night with the light of the new sun, which came to illuminate the entire Shire. The light reflected off the dewdrops on the blades of grass, and the roosters along all four streets began to crow with all their might. This sound was subsequently accompanied by the clang of doors being opened by the various Hobbits heading off to do their work, though some had slight difficulty reaching their designated places of work, thanks to the merriment of the previous night.

The sun, of course, also illuminated Baggins' house, where there was a silence that reflected a tranquil atmosphere.

In Bilbo's room, now occupied by Charlie and Vaggie, the two girls slept peacefully, in a calm that could have lasted forever, but finally the sunlight filtered through the linen curtains, and one of these rays landed right on the right eye of the white-haired girl.

She immediately turned around instinctively to avoid the light that was disturbing her sleep, but it wasn't that episode that woke her up, but rather hearing a noise coming from outside the room.

Vaggie was slightly startled by the sudden sound, and this, combined with her alert spirit, caused her to wake up and sit up in bed next to her lover.

"No, it wasn't a dream", commented the girl whispered, seeing the place they were in, which was the same place as the day before where everything had happened, from interdimensional travel to having to organize a stranger's party in order to get a ring to go home with.

At that point she looked around and her gaze fell on Charlie's face, who was sleeping peacefully.

Vaggie smiled as she saw her girlfriend, her face expressing calm without any thoughts troubling her mind, and with one hand she went to touch the princess's red cheek, an action that was interrupted when another noise was heard outside the room.

The girl whirled toward the door, her mind racing as she wondered what could be causing those sounds. She assumed they were the movements of someone who had gotten up and was continuing down the corridor, but she wanted to be sure.

She immediately got out of bed and headed for the door, trying not to make any noise, and as soon as she reached the handle, she pulled it and gently opened the door, peeking out to check if anyone was there.

Vaggie checked both ways, but not only did she see that no one was there, but all the doors to the various rooms were closed, proving that everyone was still asleep.

Added to all this was a third noise coming from the main hall and kitchen area.

This alarmed the girl, who thought that there was an intruder, after all, she remembered Frodo's speech about there being people, like Lobelia, who had designs on Bag End.

Vaggie immediately left the room, but not before getting dressed, also to avoid finding herself facing a stranger in her underwear, and went towards the source of the noise, summoning and holding her spear.

After a few moments the girl arrived at the main room, where she saw her bag full of the various gifts, which she was standing near the dead fireplace and an empty chair. Here her eye noticed, among other things, the set of knives and also realized that the source of the noise was coming from the kitchen.

At that moment Vaggie decided to put away the spear and take one of the blades present, since the kitchen, although spacious, was still a small room, and therefore it was better to use a more manageable and smaller weapon.

"I knew they'd come in handy", thought the gray-skinned girl, trying to break the tension. A clear mind, prepared for anything, is not a good counselor in situations like these. In these cases, a clear mind is needed.

Step by step, she arrived right near the kitchen and there she noticed both new noises, but also the presence of a shadow that seemed to be rummaging through the various shelves, and at that precise moment, Vaggie snapped.

"Who goes there, cabron!", exclaimed the girl with the knife in her hand.

"Orcs and goblins!", replied a voice, namely that of Frodo, who was preparing breakfast, and who immediately jumped and took a few steps back at hearing a sudden voice and seeing one of his guests brandishing a weapon.

After a few moments, Vaggie saw that the source of the noises was not an intruder or a thief, but their host himself, which temporarily stopped the girl, who realized the embarrassment she had just made.

"Oh shit", she began, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or attack you, It's just that I heard some noises and saw that all the rooms were still locked. So I thought there was an intruder", she said as she placed the knife on the kitchen table.

"Well, I must admit you have good hearing, and you have shown courage in wanting to protect the people inside", complimented the Hobbit.

"Really? I mean, thank you", the girl corrected herself, not expecting to receive praise. In fact, she was already prepared to take criticism for her behavior, which would be called reckless, or she thought Frodo would tell her she should have informed him instead of scouting alone. Instead, not only was it none of these things, but she was being recognized for her great courage. "What are you doing?", she asked.

"Oh, nothing, I'm making the first breakfast", replied the halfman.

"The first?" Vaggie asked again, thinking that if there was one breakfast, there must be others, but that begged another question: how many there were and why there was more than one.

"Of course. We Hobbits eat up to six meals a day, including two breakfasts", Frodo explained.

"That explains all that food at the party", Vaggie said, remembering all the meals from last night.

"Yes, I usually wait longer after dawn for breakfast, but today I decided to move it up. After all, meals for eight people can't be prepared alone".

"Wait? Eight people? Are you making breakfast for us too?", asked the white-haired girl, thinking she had misheard.

"Of course, every Hobbit must show all possible hospitality, and even more", replied Frodo as he checked the tea kettle and he was spreading some fresh butter on some bread.

"Hold on, I can give you a hand while I'm here", Vaggie intervened as she approached to help the halfman.

"Oh, no no no no", said the Hobbit, "Don't bother, the guest is important".

"I understand your traditions, but I can't stand by while you bend over backwards for us", the girl replied.

"Don't worry, don't worry. I'll be happy to do it", Frodo assured her. "If you want to help, we can start a conversation. For us, meals aren't just food, but also a moment of great conviviality" he informed her.

"Okay," said the white-haired girl, albeit a little reluctantly, as she wanted to do something more concrete, but she decided to insist, precisely out of respect for her host, and sat down. "I think people like Charlie or Angel would be better now. They are more suited to starting conversations", commented.

"It's your lucky day, as there's something I wanted to talk to you about, Vaggie".

"And what would this something be?".

"It's about the sack you brought back from the party", Frodo continued as he searched the shelves for spices.

"Oh, it's in the middle and you want it moved?", asked the gray-skinned girl, thinking that all the gifts she had received were cumbersome to move around the house.

"Oh no, it's not that, it's for a specific present", Frodo assured as he took one of the many gifts they had given Vaggie and placed it in front of her, placing it on the table.

The gift in question was the diary with the dark brown rabbit skin cover.

"Oh yes", the girl said, "It's a diary that was given to me along with everything else", she remembered.

"Well, I want to add another gift to this one, or rather two", admitted the Hobbit, and the latter immediately left the kitchen and returned a few moments later with a quill pen and an inkwell, which he placed next to the diary.

"A pen and inkwell?", Vaggie said. "Why?", she asked, since she understood why he was giving them to her, but she didn't understand what was driving him to do it.

"Because it can always come in handy. My uncle Bilbo was just starting a book about his past adventures, so you could do the same, write down your past experiences, so you can read them again and remember them in the future".

"It would be nice", the girl began as she held her quill pen, then her face and tone darkened, "But you don't always want to remember the past."

Hearing those words and the tone in which they were spoken, Frodo sensed that something in the girl's past was troubling her. He didn't want to ask directly, lest she feel uncomfortable, but as a host, he had to put his guest at ease, as per Hobbit tradition, so he decided to try to cheer her up without intruding on her private life, and here the halfling had an idea.

"Yes, sometimes there are experiences in our past that make us unhappy to remember," Frodo began. "Some time ago, Bilbo told me a story about two Hobbits. Both had gotten lost in the Old Forest because they had lost their way. The first decided to look back and retrace his steps until he found the way again, while the second, out of pride, went ahead and all trace of him was lost", the Hobbit narrated. "Bilbo told it to me when I was younger and more reckless, to teach me to be more careful, but I think even an adult mind can draw a lesson from this story. Looking back is not easy, but if we persist in moving forward without asking questions, we risk losing ourselves forever".

Those words resonated in the girl's mind and made her reflect. More specifically, she remembered that day when, for sparing the life of a small sinner, she was banished from Heaven. That day, she didn't move forward without questioning herself, but decided to look back and think about what she was doing. Sure, it wasn't easy, and the cost was high, but in doing so, she met Charlie and from there began a new life, hard but worth living, surrounded by the person she loved and a group that might not have been perfect, but was certainly better than her former army.

Noticing the lack of response from Vaggie, the half-man decided to propose another possibility as to what he could write.

"But you can always write something else, like your next adventure", proposed the Hobbit.

"Huh?", began the girl, still lost in thought, "Oh, yes, of course, that would be fine", she replied hastily, then opened the diary to the first page.

"A word of advice", Frodo interjected, drawing Vaggie's attention. "Better skip the first page, so you can give your adventure a title. A great story needs a great title", the Hobbit concluded, and the girl nodded in agreement.

"Vaggie, are you here?", asked the princess of Hell, who in the meantime had also woken up and in doing so had noticed the absence of her sweetheart, and in looking for her had heard her voice coming from the kitchen.

After a few seconds Charlie's figure appeared and she too was in the kitchen.

"Oh, there you are", said the princess when she noticed Vaggie, "Oh, hello, Frodo", she greeted after seeing the Hobbit too, so as not to be rude.

"Good morning, darling", her girlfriend replied, noticing that Charlie had also dressed to be presentable, even though the latter was more disheveled both in her clothes and her hairdo.

"Hello Charlie", the halfling returned the greeting.

"So, what's going on?", asked the princess.

"Nothing, I was just making breakfast for the group", Frodo informed as he cracked some eggs and left them to cook in a pan where a little butter had previously been spread.

"For the group? You mean for all of us?", asked Charlie, who hadn't expected such hospitality from Frodo. For her, that Hobbit had already done so much in hosting them and she didn't think to ask for anything else.

"Certainly, let it not be said that a guest at Bag End has gone away empty-bellied", joked the Hobbit, smiling.

"Wow, that's very… generous of you, I mean, you've already done so much for us and I didn't think it was worth it for you to try harder", commented the princess, albeit with some complications as far as it concerned the expression of the message.

"Don't worry, it's my pleasure", Frodo assured her.

"Well, thank you, well, thank you for everything, both for having us and for breakfast… wait, are you preparing breakfast for everyone? Oh, where have our good manners gone?! I'll help you and…Vaggie", Charlie said, not wanting to be seen as a taker, as she was already heading towards the various dishes that still needed finishing, taking her girlfriend with her to give her a hand.

"Oh, no, as I told your girl, the guest is important", replied the Hobbit.

"Yes darling, I tried too, but it was no use", added the gray-skinned girl.

"Oh, but could we help out in some way?", asked Charlie, eager to make herself useful in some way to express her gratitude for the hospitality.

"Well, as I said to Vaggie before, we can accompany the preparation of the food with a good chat", replied the Hobbit with a spatula in his hand.

"Oh, that's perfect! I like talking to other people!", Charlie exclaimed as she sat down next to her girlfriend.

"So can you answer a question that was on my mind, but which I preferred to postpone, since last night I…you seemed too tired from the party and the cold", admitted the Hobbit.

"Of course, what do you want to ask?", asked the princess of Hell.

"Well, I've heard from many that you are travellers, yet no one has been able to tell me where you come from. So this is what I ask you, where are you from?", asked Frodo, whose back was turned, still busy preparing breakfast.

The very fact that the halfling was turned away prevented him from seeing the faces the two girls made when they heard that question.

Their eyes widened and there were moments of mild panic.

They knew their appearance made them bizarre in that universe, but it's one thing to have bizarre guests, and another to have guests from literal Hell.

What would Frodo have thought if they told him the truth? Would he not have believed it? Would he have believed it and been scared? Would he have chased them away?

The two girls looked at each other to decide what to do, whether to lie or be honest.

"Shall we tell him?", Vaggie seemed to say with her gaze as she met Charlie's.

"Well…", the princess began, still hesitant, but finally made up her mind, "…oK, you hosted us, so it's only right that I be honest with you. I know what I'm about to say may seem absurd, but… we come from Hell", she replied.

"Hell? And where is it?", asked the Hobbit, who had never seen this "Hell" on any map.

Both Charlie and Vaggie were prepared for any answer, from "It's not possible" to "Really?!", but they didn't expect that of all the questions a person could ask when finding out that their guests come from the place of eternal damnation, that question would be where Hell was located.

"What do you mean, where is Hell? It's down there", the gray-skinned girl replied, pointing to the floor with her index finger.

"Ah, to the south, are you from Bree? Many have told me of it", replied Frodo.

"Hmm… a little lower", said Charlie.

"Do you mean Gondor?", asked the halfling again. "I have heard stories of that land too from Bilbo and Gandalf".

"What? No, no, no, we don't mean it's south, we mean it's underground", Vaggie interjected.

"That is, is it an underground city like those of the dwarves?", tried to ask the Hobbit, who was confused by the fact that he did not understand where this "Hell" was.

"Wait, you don't know where Hell is?", Charlie asked in turn, seeing how the halfman was in trouble.

"No, I've never seen it on any map, what's it like as a place?", said the Hobbit, who was checking the frying bacon and mushrooms.

That next question took the two girls even more by surprise. Did Frodo really have no conception of Hell? Was it just him, or perhaps the entire Shire?

"Frodo, that's a rather peculiar question. Where do Hobbits go after they die, in your opinion?", asked Vaggie, who wanted to understand what Hobbits thought about the afterlife.

"We don't know, or rather we don't think much about it. For us, life is here and now, and we tend not to worry about what will happen next. Bilbo and Gandalf have told me tales from the Elves about supposed reincarnation and a place called Valinor, but I don't know much about it", replied the halfling.

"So you've never heard of Hell? You know, the whole thing about Lucifer's disobedience? Lilith? The spread of Evil throughout the world?" the princess began to ask, not knowing what to say, she was searching for the words to describe her kingdom to the Hobbit.

"No", replied Frodo, "These names mean nothing to me".

"Okay… let's put it this way", Charlie began, "We come from this place that's off the map, called Hell".

"Okay", said Frodo as he turned and sat down too to listen to the story better.

"And in this place we believe that in the beginning there existed a magnificent place, called Paradise, and its inhabitants, the angels, the guardians of good, with their powers created the world of men".

"The world we are in now, then?", asked the Hobbit.

"Yes, let's say so. Here among the angels was Lucifer, a dreamer, but his ideas were seen as inappropriate for the balance created by the others", Charlie continued.

"A bit like in the Shire", commented Frodo, thinking of the older Hobbits and how they looked at anything new with suspicion.

"Meanwhile, the angels created the first two humans, Adam and Lilith, but Lilith refused to submit and distanced herself from Adam. Thus she met Lucifer, and the two fell madly in love. The two decided to share the gift of free will with Adam's new wife, Eve, but this allowed Evil to spread throughout the world, and for this reason Lucifer and Lilith were exiled to this place, Hell, where all the wicked would end up".

"But wouldn't it have been better for the angels to go to Lucifer and find a solution together? After all, it was Lucifer who gave humans free will, so he must have known how to handle it", Frodo thought aloud.

"Go tell that to the angels", Vaggie said deadpan.

"However, as Lucifer lost his desire to dream, his wife decided to strengthen the infernal hosts with her singing, and Heaven, seeing all this, decided that an Extermination would be carried out every year, to keep the number of sinners at bay".

"But I don't understand, were the sinners planning to attack Heaven?", asked the Hobbit.

"No, not at all, but their number frightened the angels and so the most drastic solution was chosen", explained the princess.

"But if the angels were the guardians of good and were so powerful, couldn't they find a way to stop making sinners evil?", asked the Hobbit.

"To them, that would have seemed like a violation of free will", the white-haired girl explained.

"But this gift was not in their original plans, so it would have been to correct a mistake and if it was not such and they had in mind to grant it in the future to men, why condemn Lucifer?", the half-man said his opinion.

"Good question", thought the two girls, partly amazed that even a being from another universe was more reasonable than the high officials of Heaven.

"However, Lilith's dream of making Hell a better place did not die, and in fact, it was inherited by her daughter. Namely… me", the story concluded.

"Wait, you? You are Lucifer's daughter, and so…", began the Hobbit, who was putting the pieces together.

"The princess of Hell, yes", Charlie finished the sentence.

"Are you a princess?", asked the halfling again. " So where is your crown and cloak?", said Frodo, who was skeptical of this revelation.

"Oh, I don't like going around in all that pomp. I prefer to be closer to my people", replied the princess, understanding that her host didn't immediately believe she was telling the truth.

"Well, anyway, seeing a noblewoman decide to volunteer for the preparations for a party that isn't hers and then find herself asking for hospitality from a semi-stranger is something you don't see very often", replied Frodo, still not inclined to believe those words, also remembering the past events involving Charlie.

"Yes, I'm not exactly the typical princess living in a castle surrounded by subjects ready to grant my every wish, but I can assure you that what I say is the truth. Now I know it may seem incredible, but it's true. I have a dream of allowing sinners to redeem themselves and reach Heaven", said Charlie.

"It is a noble undertaking, there is no doubt about that", commented the Hobbit.

"Thank you!", the princess exclaimed joyfully, then returned to a calmer tone, "Even though we haven't made much progress so far, we remain hopeful that it will work sooner or later".

"Let's hope so," hoped the halfling, then the latter began to smell something burning. "Breakfast!" gasped the hobbit. "Sorry, I got carried away by your story," Frodo apologized, and immediately returned to preparing the meal meticulously.

"Wait! Frodo," said Charlie, taken aback.

"Oh, Charlie, don't worry, it'll be a breakfast fit for a princess," joked the Hobbit with a smile on his lips, as he couldn't quite believe what he'd heard. "I've prepared a bit of everything. Bread and butter, poached eggs, smoked bacon, stewed mushrooms, there's even a few pieces of cake left over from yesterday and some tea or milk. It might not be like the palace, but it's something. You'll be spoiled for choice".

"Frodo, I'm glad you care about our food, but does having guests from such a place after all I've told you really not scare or upset you?", asked the princess of Hell, surprised as before that their host wasn't worried minimally of the fact that they came from the literal Hell.

"We of the Shire don't think we know everything. All the tales of possible realities outside the Shire, or even outside Middle-earth, remain just tales, in fact. We don't rule out the idea that there is something beyond, but we tend not to think about it, and even me and my uncle Bilbo see such tales of outside places as such rather than as realities to be believed. Though I must say that would explain your unusual appearance, no offense", said the Hobbit, "And besides, from what I've seen, you don't look like criminals or anything else, so I see no reason to worry. What amazes me most is that my uncle's exploits have reached this phantom place Hell".

"Well… yes, there were rumors among the sinners of such deeds as Bilbo had accomplished, of the Hobbit who helped defeat a dragon, and we wanted to see it for ourselves", the princess made up on the spot, since she could not yet reveal the real reason why they were there.

"I can understand the curiosity", admitted the Hobbit, "So all you seven come from this place, from this Hell?", asked the curious halfman, even if with still a drop of doubt.

"Um, yes of course", Vaggie replied immediately, also to hide her past which was still unknown to everyone, including Charlie.

"Yeah, all of us. Me, Vaggie, Angel, Husk, Pentious, Niffty and Alastor", added the hotel owner.

"Yes, and speaking of Alastor, never make deals with him or shake his hand", warned the white-haired girl.

"Why?", asked Frodo.

"It's difficult to explain, but trust me and never do it. Alastor is rather ambiguous and treacherous. Last night went well, but I don't know how long he'll be joking around before he starts getting serious".

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind", affirmed Frodo.

"What's going on here?", asked Angel Dust's voice, before he appeared.

The porn star, seeing the halfman and the two girls, including Charlie with her clothes in disarray, could not resist.

"Oh, come on, girls. Before you jump on our host, at least wait until he takes you out to dinner", commented the spider demon with a smirk on his lips as the two girls put their hands over their faces.

"What do you mean?", asked the Hobbit.

"Better not to know", Vaggie assured him.

Next came Husk, Pentious and Niffty in order.

"Good morning everyone", greeted the snake.

"Hello… the kitchen!", the Cyclops gasped, seeing the various pots and pans and dishes.

"Niffty!", the hotel staff exclaimed.

"Oh, right, habit", Niffty replied.

The group seemed complete, but someone was missing, namely Alastor.

The latter, in fact, had decided to go out for a morning walk. Everything had gone well, except when, passing by a cherry tree, he stepped on some fruit, which had left a reddish slime under his soles. He rubbed them clean on the grassy path, and even the blades of grass turned that red.

"Oh, it brings back memories of times gone by", commented the radio demon seeing that color on the lawn, then continued on his way and just when he was on the path back to Bag End, he noticed something.

He noticed a hobbit with sandy hair and elegant clothes standing just outside the fence of Bag End, trying not to be noticed by those inside, and who was checking on the situation inside from what he could see from the windows.

"Excuse me, are you looking for someone?", asked a voice that halfman felt familiar, but instinctively the Hobbit turned to face the one interrupting his spying, with his typical arrogance.

"What do you want…", the halfling began, then realized who he was facing, and some of his pride immediately vanished.

"Oh, but look who we see again", said Alastor, who recognized the pockmarked face of the Hobbit, who was Lotho Sackville.

"Hey, don't get in the way, I'm a Sackville,my father was an important person", affirmed Lotho, though there was a growing concern and fear in his voice.

"Please, no introduction needed, I still have a very… vivid memory", replied the demon, his eyes starting to glow crimson red as he remembered what the other Sackville, Lobelia, had done to his dress.

Seeing the gleam in his eyes and the change in tone to a more menacing one, Lotho was struck by further terror.

"Er, don't use that tone with someone from an important family like me", the Hobbit tried to sound authoritative, failing miserably.

"Oh, so I'm in the presence of some sort of noble, I was really in the mood for a meal fit for a lord", Alastor admitted with an increasingly unsettling smile and the air filling with a static noise.

"Er… I really have to go now!", exclaimed the Hobbit as he began to run as fast as he could, but he didn't even have time to…to turn around who saw a red figure appear before him.

"What's all the rush?", asked the figure, who was Alastor himself.

"Please! Don't hurt me, I'm just following orders", whimpered Lotho, who was just looking for a way home safely.

"Interesting, and from whom? I strongly advise you to respond while you still have a chance to speak", affirmed the radio demon.

"From my mother, Lobelia", the halfling answered immediately, eager to save his life.

"Well, well in my parts, they say ambassador, it doesn't bring punishment", Alastor informed.

"Okay, so is everything okay?", asked the halfman, who hoped that the sentence could be interpreted as a grace.

"I said it's said in my area, but now we're not in my area. So I guess I'll have to use other methods", mused the demon, who returned to use a scary tone.

Hearing those words, Lotho instinctively curled up and began to whimper like a terrified child.

"Don't hurt me, please, I won't do it again, just let me go!", he began to plead for his life, tears streaming down his face and his words interrupted by sobs.

After a few moments, the static faded and all that was heard was a long laugh coming from the demon, who, after finishing, began to speak.

"Oh, you should see yourself, so pathetic, begging for your miserable life. You've entertained me enough. You can go", said Alastor.

"Really?!", Lotho asked and at the first nod from the radio demon, he immediately turned to leave, but just at that moment, he felt something grab him.

"This time you are safe, but don't mistake this for an act of mercy or anything else, if now you can go back home on your own two feet it's because you are good at complaining I find that quite hilarious, but if by chance I were to see you still intent on spying on us…", Alastor began, and here the air was filled with a static sound again and the horns on the demon's head began to grow, "...all that will remain of you are the phrases that mention your name and the brutal way in which you left this world...clear?," he threatened.

"Yes, yes, absolutely!", replied Lotho.

"Perfect, it's always nice to have a chat", commented Alastor then let go of Lotho, who slithered away like a snake. "What a nice boy", he added, then headed for the Bag End gate.

"Wait a minute, where's Alastor?", asked the white-haired girl, noticing his absence.

"I saw him this morning when I got up", Frodo informed, "He said he was going for a walk, though he has been out for a long time".

"Hijo de puta", Vaggie said to herself as she got up to go look for the radio demon, since the girl could only imagine what someone like him could do in a peaceful and unarmed society like that of the Hobbits.

Just enough time to reach the door when it opened, revealing Alastor.

"What did you do?!", Vaggie asked.

"Oh, my dear, I just took a walk to enjoy the scenery of the Shire. These views bring back so many memories, oh all those screams", the demon replied calmly, his ever-present smile still there.

"Hey Alastor, tell me you didn't do anything weird", Charlie, who was chasing her girlfriend, interjected.

"My dear princess, if I had really wanted to do what you are thinking, it would not have been the birds singing that woke you up but much more shrill sounds", replied the demon, then headed towards the kitchen, where breakfast had just been served on the table.

"Hello again, Alastor", greeted Frodo, maintaining his typical Hobbit courtesy, even though he had been warned never to make deals with him.

"Greetings to you, Frodo", he returned the greeting. "Rejoice, for I bring you fresh news", he said, addressing the whole group.

"What news?", Niffty asked curiously.

"Oh finally some gossip", commented Angel Dust.

"Looks like we have some admirers", Alastor replied as he sipped some tea.

"Admirers?" Sir Pentious repeats confusedly.

"It's about time someone realized who they have around them", the porn star said. "And tell me, did they leave any letters or anything?", she asked.

"Oh no, they're not those kinds of fans, they're more the ones who check you out," added the radio demon.

"Do you mean stalkers?", commented Angel.

"Or spies?", Vaggie interjected.

"More the second, in fact while I was returning I surprised a Sackville intent on spying on the events that were taking place in this house", answered Al.

"What?!" everyone present exclaimed.

"Those bastards… hey!", Angel gasped as he felt Charlie and Vaggie nudge him, telling him not to make his hatred for the Sackvilles too explicit.

"The Sackville were spying on us?!", Pentious asked again.

"Wait a minute", began the white-haired girl, "You saw them spying on us, and what did you do?".

"Oh, after a pleasant conversation, I "politely" warned him not to do it again," Al replied in quotation marks the term "politely".

"Yes, of course, politely", commented Husk, who, like the other members of the hotel, knew exactly what Alastor's method was in these cases.

"This is a terrible thing!", exclaimed Frodo. "I cannot allow Lobelia's obsessions to disturb the peace of this house or make anyone within it uncomfortable", said the halfling.

"So what do we do?", asked the princess.

"Well, for now, let's keep our guard up. The Sackvilles can be stubborn, and no one can say whether they won't try again, with more subtle methods, so as a safety measure, speak softly and be as discreet as possible in your conversations. Don't revealed nothing too personal, Lobelia might use it to spread gossip", Frodo advised as he looked towards the two girls and said not to reveal anything too personal, given the conversations they were having earlier, to which the two nodded, indicating that they understood what the Hobbit meant, "Also I will ask some trusted people like Sam, Merry or Pippin to keep an eye out for suspicious behaviour from the Sackvilles, and if any evidence comes out that they are keeping an eye on us, I will see if I can unmask her publicly. Such an act must not go unpunished", added the halfman.

"I have a better idea", Angel interjected as he stood up and walked toward the door.

"Angel, where are you going?", Charlie asked, a little worried.

"I'm going to have a chat with Lobelia", the porn star replied as he grabbed the handle.

"Oh, no, no, no. You don't go to them and risk causing trouble", Vaggie stated, also running to the door and putting her hand on the handle to stop Angel.

"Look, Vags, these idiots aren't just first-rate assholes, but now they're spying on us and Frodo, aka their own relative, so they can turn the whole Shire against us. I already have one idiot to obey to, I don't need an old hag watching over me too", Angel Dust replied as he tightened her arm to open the door.

"And you think raising a fuss will solve the situation?", asked the white-haired girl, who continued her back-and-forth with the spider demon.

"Why? Do you have a better idea?", the porn star asked provocatively.

"Sorry", the princess interjected, "But since Lobelia wants information to turn us against the others, perhaps we should find a way to make the others accept us, so they won't believe her when she says something wrong", Charlie suggested in her cheerful tone that distinguished her.

"It's a shame there's a problem. Everyone hates us", replied the feline demon.

"Oh well, not quite all of them, but a good portion of them", Pentious admitted.

"They don't hate us, they just don't know how to deal with new people like us", Charlie said.

"Okay, so what would the plan be?", Husk asked again.

"We simply have to integrate into the society of Hobbits", the princess explained, "And I know exactly how to do it. The whole gang, gather!", she exclaimed, and immediately the hotel crew found themselves at the entrance to Bag End. "Let's go make a good second impression!".

"Wait!", said the Hobbit, and they all stopped, "Breakfast".

"It is not very polite to refuse your own food host", commented Alastor.

"Oh, yes. Well, let's finish breakfast and then go make a good second impression!", the princess exclaimed again, and immediately she and the others returned to their seats at the table, where there were dishes for every taste, from poached eggs to apple pie, from fresh fruit to various cold cuts.

After an hour or so, the demons finished breakfast.

"Okay, now that we've finished eating, let's go!", the princess said, and the whole group followed her. "Frodo", Charlie began as she opened the door, "Don't wait for us for the second breakfast or lunch, it might take a while".

"The second what?" Angel asked.

"It's a Hobbit thing", replied the gray-skinned girl.

"Okay", Frodo replied to what the princess of Hell had told him.

"Great, let's go", Charlie said, and all the demons walked out the door.

Meanwhile Frodo turned around and saw the plates with the various leftovers from breakfast, which he immediately put away, since they would become an integral part of the second breakfast, and he placed the dirty dishes near the sink and began to wash them.

"Next time I'll make them wash up for at least three meals, and they eat so fast", Frodo quipped with a smile, noting their fast eating, at least by Hobbit standards. He then turned to the kitchen window, where he could see the well-tended garden, but also the path that led to Hobbiton, a road that the Sackvilles could use to reach Bag End and spy inside. "Well, Lobelia, I hope you're interested in watching a Hobbit wash dishes".

Meanwhile the group was moving to follow the princess's plan.

"So what's the plan?", Husk asked.

"Very simple, we have to find a job", Charlie replied.

"Again?!" Angel complained, "Haven't we done enough for the party already?".

"That was a start, but we need to demonstrate that we are ready to serve the community that hosts us and that we are not just freeloaders," continued the hotel owner.

"Also because we are in Hell enough", commented the bartender, since the hotel was not owned by Charlie but by her family, and the money was her father's.

The group was following the path that ran along the Brandywine river, near which stood a watermill surrounded by fields of wheat and weeping willows. The mill in question had a stone foundation and dark oak walls, with its large wooden wheel appearing worn away by the water.

"Here! We can ask if we need help in that mill", Charlie suggested.

"To produce the white dust but the boring one", Angel Dust joked.

"Angel!", Vaggie gasped. "Be serious!", she continued as the demons arrived in front of the entrance to the mill, where there was a cart full of sacks of grain and a well with an iron pulley.

"Okay, guys, remember, be polite", advised the princess, then knocked on the large wooden door, which had a knocker in the shape of an ear of wheat and above it a plaque that read "Hobbiton Mill - Finest Flour since 1200 Shire."

"And no one does anything stupid or creepy", Vaggie ordered.

After a few moments the door was opened and out came a Hobbit of heavy build with dark brown hair covered with flour and a short, unkempt beard that sprouted from a red, sweaty face, with a frowning expression and who was dressed in worn clothes that were also covered with flour.

"Hello…", began the princess.

"Oh no! No strangers!", exclaimed the Hobbit, and immediately closed the door.

"I didn't do anything", commented Angel, raising his four arms in a sign of innocence.

"We're off to a good start", Husk added.

"Um, excuse me…,", the princess said as she continued knocking, "…I know you might be scared of us, but we are not here to harm you", she assured.

"I don't care! Go away!", shouted the mill owner.

"We just wanted to ask if we could do service at your mill", replied the princess.

At those words, the door opened a little, just to allow the mill owner to keep an eye on the group.

"Work you say?", asked the halfman, who was always looking for someone to whom he could entrust as much work as possible, so that he could work as little as possible.

"Yes, we want to be of service to the Shire", Charlie said.

"Sure, sure…", Angel said softly.

"Well, I suppose there are some vacancies", the miller admitted, with a treacherous smile , which was hidden by the door.

"Fantastic! You know, we're staying with Frodo and…", the princess began to say.

"What?!" the Hobbit jumped, "You are guests of the Bagginses?!", he gasped in an angry tone.

"Well, yes", Charlie replied hesitantly, not understanding this sudden change in tone, but she didn't even have time to try to understand it before she immediately heard the door slam again, this time with more force.

"Go away! I don't want any of those damned Bagginses' toadies in my mill! And anyway, I'm full", shouted the halfling.

"But you said there were seats available!", replied the white-haired girl.

"Oh, well, oops, it occurred to me that I already offered those seats to some hobbits last week. Off we go!", the miller concluded.

"Wait!", said Charlie, who continued knocking for a while, but got no further answer.

"Dollface, you are wasting your strength and breath for nothing", Angel stated.

"Yeah, and I don't want to work for a dickhead like him anyway", added Husk, who was already in the employ of the definitely not-so-great boss in the world.

"Okay, let's go", Charlie admitted with a tone that showed a little bitterness, "But we can always try somewhere else, after all, the Shire is big, there must be someone who will accept us", the princess tried to convey some optimism, even if in a slightly forced way and immediately the group set off again in search of a chance to make this good second impression.

Afternoon arrived and Frodo, after having had his second breakfast and lunch and cleaned the various dishes, decided to tidy up some books and maps that were still scattered around the house, partly to pass the time before preparing afternoon tea.

The Hobbit began to take various writings and notes that Bilbo had made years before and tried to put them into some order.

Among all the writings, Frodo's eye fell on a parchment which contained particular information.

"Morgoth, or Melkor, was, as the inhabitant of Shire would say, a cosmic troublemaker. In the early days he was a Valar, those whom the Elves call gods (ask Elrond). These Valar are said to have created everything we see simply by singing (ask Gandalf for details), like the merry halflings at the inn, but one of them, Melkor, took to singing of his own accord. I'm pretty sure someone like that would have gotten along well with the Sackvilles, if they hadn't ended up arguing about who was the most annoying. Eventually Melkor, seeing that he couldn't have his way, decided to take the fight to all the others, yes, he wuold have been a perfect Sackville. He started out as a troublemaker while the others tried to shape the world, and eventually the others decided they'd had enough, and can't be blamed, and so Melkor was cast out of existence (ask Gloin if the Dwarves fought Morgoth too). The legacy Morgoth left was of fear and corruption, as the Elves say, and for them Morgoth is a shadow that never completely goes away. Very cheerful people, in short!".

Frodo had already glanced at his uncle's notes on things like the Valar and so on, but this writing about Melkor caught his attention because he felt like he had heard this story before.

"It's like the story Charlie told", commented the halfling, who noted similarities, such as the group of superior beings who created the world, one of the group who did not follow the rules set by the latter, the disobedience that brought corruption to the world, added, "But it is not the same", because there were very tangible differences. Charlie spoke of his father as a dreamer who was unjustly cast aside, and the act of bringing corruption to the world was described as an unwanted mistake, while Morgoth in that writing is depicted as an extremely proud being and lustful for power, even though he was already one of the most powerful beings. Furthermore, nowhere is there any mention of the gift of free will, but of him simply going against everyone and ultimately being defeated, but not before sowing darkness in Middle-earth. And still in those notes there is no mention of Lilith, Adam, or Eve, even though both mention singing, for Lilith in the first case and for the Valar in the second.

These thoughts were interrupted when Frodo heard the hall door open and numerous footsteps making their way along the corridors, demonstrating that a large group was pressing forward.

"They must be back", he surmised and immediately headed towards the entrance just to see an exhausted Charlie throwing herself dead weight onto a sofa, with the others showing faces between the annoyed one and the exhausted one.

"So… how did it go?", the Hobbit asked the group, although from Charlie's faces and demeanor he could already get an idea of the final outcome.

"A disaster", replied Sir Pentious.

"They didn't get us at all, we were just a stone's throw away from offering to be doormats", Vaggie added.

"And at the very least they would have told us that they had already chosen someone for that job too", commented the feline demon.

"Wait a minute, were you looking for work?", asked the Hobbit, who had heard that the group wanted to find a way to fit in, but hadn't heard the part about looking for work to do so.

"That was the goal, but nothing", Charlie said, lifting her head from the pillows and then sinking back into the sofa.

"Yes, we went out of our way for the party and this is how they repaid us. Even in Hell there is more availability!", Angel exclaimed, emphasizing the final part of the sentence and doing it near a window, so that it would be possible for some outside ears to hear.

"If you were looking for odd jobs that would prove you were trustworthy, you only had to ask me", Frodo interjected.

"What?!", everyone said in chorus except Alastor, who found the whole thing extremely funny.

"Well, I inherited a good deal of property from Bilbo, and I'm sure there's some light work someone can do to show they're helping the Shire", explained the Hobbit.

"And you couldn't have said that before half the County closed doors on us?", Husk asked deadpan.

"I was not told how you intended to integrate, furthermore, no host would ask the guest to do chores without the latter having demonstrated his willingness or interest in doing so, otherwise the host would appear stingy or mean", the halfling justified himself.

At this point the demons, except Alastor and Niffty, threw a hand over their faces, both because it was true that they had not told Frodo of their plan to make a supposed second good intention and because Frodo's reasoning about not asking the guest to put himself at the host's service unless the former had shown interest in doing so was sound.

"So you have some work you want us to do?", asked the snake demon.

"Actually yes, but I want to be clear. I don't want to force you or anything else, it must be your spontaneous choice. I'm not asking you to repay me somehow, I just want to give you a way to prove to others that you are not who they think, with me acting as your guarantor, and there will be no consequences if you will refuse", the Hobbit explained in detail.

"Well then…", Angel began, then his gaze met Vaggie's and he decided to accept the proposal, "…ok, we accept".

"Okay, so let's see, what tasksI can entrust yourself to me?", the halfling reflected for a moment, "Well, as you know I have a small cellar, and I need someone to take inventory and check regularly what is in it and in what quantities", began the Hobbit.

"I tak-", Husk couldn't finish his sentence before Vaggie interrupted him.

"Absolutely not! We have already seen during the preparations what happens when handling alcohol. I'll do it myself", offered the white-haired girl, who didn't suffer from alcohol addiction and therefore wouldn't have any problems doing the job.

"Well, then I'll need someone that helps me keep the house clean and put away my uncle's various books and writings", admitted the Hobbit as he pointed to the various spaces in the house around him, where in every spot there were maps or parchments scattered about.

"Uh, me, me, me, me", repeated Niffty in an euphoric tone and holding her hand up.

"Okay, perfect", replied Frodo.

"Yes, I've wanted to do it ever since I walked in the door",confessed the little cyclops.

"Then, speaking of books, I'll need help copying some notes, so I always have a copy in case the original gets lost and lent to someone", the halfling continued.

"I can do it, I can write for long periods of time without too much effort", said Charlie, the same woman who, following the mess with Angel and Valentino, had made it a point to write 100 letters of apology.

"Don't worry, I won't ask you to copy 10 books a day", Frodo assured her. "And as perfect as this house seems, there are some parts that could use some restoration or repair, so someone will need to give it a few hammer blows every now and then…".

"Oh no! I'm not touching one of those damned instruments!" Angel exclaimed, overcome by a fear he had acquired the day before.

"I can do it, after all, the skill I demonstrated in repairing the stage speaks for itself", affirmed Pentious with a hint of pride.

"Yes, I've seen your skills, I'm sure they'll do very well", Frodo complimented. "Then every now and then I'll have engagements that will require me to go to various meetings, and I might need a chaperone, someone who has the gift of the gab and can strike up conversation".

"Were you talking about me by any chance?", asked Alastor.

"I know it may seem like a simple job, but it is very important, since you will be the group's standard-bearer and thanks to you the Hobbits will be able to change their minds about you", affirmed Frodo.

"All the more reason why we shouldn't let you do this job", Vaggie interjected, addressing the radio demon.

"Maybe I could think about it when I'm not busy with notes…", Charlie began.

"Oh, my dears, perhaps you have forgotten that in our parts everyone knows me for my oratory skills. If I managed to conquer Hell with this voice, the Shire will be child's play," replied the radio demon.

"This is precisely the problem, that you see everything as a game to entertaining you", the girl with the gray skin spoke again.

"Oh, how little trust you have in me, even though I must say that you are not entirely wrong, however this time we are all in the same boat and there are no lifeboats into which I can slip at the last minute, so for this time and only for this extraordinary case I can give my word that I will not use this opportunity, very tempting as it is, as a source entertainment that is considered by you as "unsuitable", Al concluded.

"Hmm…", Vaggie mused, "Okay, I'll pass this time, but if I find out that you've done something that will damage the reputation of others, I swear…".

"Yes, what would you do?", asked the radio demon, his eyes glowing crimson as he brought his face close to the girl's in defiance.

"Please, don't start arguing again!", Charlie intervened again to calm the conflict. "Okay, Alastor, it's your job", she said in a voice that reflected her physical and mental exhaustion.

"Finally someone who thinks in this house", commented Al.

"Okay... and finally, there's the garden. You know, I care a lot about it and I already have someone who takes care of it, but I think she certainly won't turn down an extra hand to care for the plants and animals", concluded the Hobbit.

"Well, since that's the only task left", Husk said.

"And I've also kept a few critters in check, so keeping up with some farm animals shouldn't be too difficult", Angel said. "Plus, taking care of some animals might not make me think too much about my dear Fat Nuggets", the porn star added.

"I ask you to take great care of it, I care a lot and Bilbo did too, but don't worry, Sam will help you", advised the Hobbit, "Perfect, everyone has their own task".

"And when can we start?", asked the princess curiously.

"You may start tomorrow", replied the halfling.

"Maybe things are starting to go right", thought the princess of Hell, tired but still hopeful and optimistic.

Chapter Text

The early afternoon sun of a new day was shining and was illuminating the Shire, including the Sackville house, although even the sun, if it had the chance, would have decided not to shine its light near the house owned by Lobelia, at least so it would not have to hear her complaining about too much light bothering her eyes.

And right at the Sackville house, or rather, on the road that intersects its entrance, it was possible to see a Lotho strangely holding a rusty work tool in his hands. If anyone had seen him, they would have shouted the impossible, a Sackville who decides to descend to the level of the plebeians, as Lobelia and Lotho called all those who didn't reflect their standards, which are many.

However, Lotho was doing his best to remain unnoticed, advancing stealthily and glancing around to make sure no one was passing by. The time was also no accident, as the halflings in the Shire had just finished lunch, so they were still busy clearing away the dishes or enjoying a post-meal nap.

By now Lotho had reached his destination but suddenly.

"Hello again, Sackville", greeted a voice that had become all too familiar to the Hobbit.

Lotho immediately turned and saw the one he feared meeting the most, Alastor, who was enjoying one of his walks in his spare time when his new duty as a chaperone didn't take him long.

"Um… hello, I wasn't spying, I was just going home", he assured thehalf-man,whose tone showed his fear.

"It seems normal to me, also because spying on your own home is not a very intelligent move, which explains why you would be doing it", commented the demon, inserting a dig into his speech.

"Um, yeah", Lotho agreed, letting out a chuckle, both to avoid drawing Alastor's annoyance toward himself and because he hadn't quite understood what the latter meant. "Well, I really have to go now", he added as he hurried toward the door.

"I see you're carrying a hoe", Alastor observed the rusty tool, which made Lotho freeze in place and break out in a cold sweat. "You've finally decided to make your miserable existence useful".

"Hey! Don't you dare…", began the Hobbit, who had regained a hint of his pride, which disappeared the exact moment he turned back to his interlocutor and his perennial smile.

"Yes, you were saying?", asked the radio demon in a provocative tone, knowing that the halfman was as proud as he was cowardly.

"Don't… don't you dare ask yourself too many questions, otherwise your mind will become clouded", said Lotho with a submissive tone, "Better to keep a light mind and live a good life", Sackville concluded as he opened the door.

"Hmm, maybe you're right for once, well, see you later", Alastor concluded as he walked away and continued on his way to Bag End.

As soon as the demon was out of sight, the halfling immediately ran back into the house and slammed the door behind him, which the demon heard.

"It's always fun", thought Alastor, who was aware that the Sackvilles were up to something, but knew that this meeting had given him a head start on possible future conflicts with the Sackvilles.

Meanwhile, in Bag End, and more specifically in the garden, work continued, also due to the arrival of autumn.

Here was a brown-haired, ruddy-faced Hobbit, Sam, who, being the gardener, was carrying out his duties with great diligence and humility, as befitted his character.

Sam finished picking the last of the apples from the fruit trees and, after carefully discarding any that were wormy or damaged, placed them in a wicker basket covered with a cloth and carried everything to the door that led into the house, before taking them down to the cellar, where they would be stored for the coming winter.

"These apples are perfect, just one touch and they were in my hand, you can make magnificent cakes with these", said Sam to himself, who over the years had developed a certain affinity for the world of gardening, which allowed him to distinguish a ripe apple from an unripe one simply by how they came off the branch on which they were hanging.

Maybe this affinity and dedication to his work was also present in his two new assistants, Angel and Husk.

Sam's emotions towards the two demons were numerous.

In fact, when Frodo told him that he would have some helpers, at first he was already thinking of Merry or Pippin, and so he wasn't very surprised, indeed, given the behaviour of Brandybuck and the Took, he expected that in the end he would do the bulk of the work, but at least he would enjoy some pleasant conversation.

This thought changed when Frodo told him that his helpers were special, and when Sam saw them he felt both surprise and a slight fear, given the individuals in question. However, in the end his thought returned to the original, since between Merry and Pippin and Angel and Husk, there was only one difference: there was still little work, but in this case not even any conversation to accompany the progress of the work. In fact, between the three there were merely quick exchanges of words, accompanied by orders or reminders, and neither was always taken seriously.

While Husk was busy cutting branches from a tree for pruning, he lost his balance on the wooden ladder he was using to reach the higher parts and reflexively grabbed onto the branch, like a frightened cat, while the ladder fell along with the shears used by the sinner.

"Fuck!", the feline demon cursed. "Angel! Come fix the ladder!", he turned to the porn star.

The aforementioned porn star, meanwhile, was sitting peacefully on the bench beneath the apple tree, busy with the difficult task of cuddling Tom the cat with both hands, while mechanically raking leaves with the other. At least one section of the garden was leafless, though it would soon be without a lawn as well.

"Don't worry Husk, you're a cat, you'll land on your paws", Angel replied as he continued to caress Tom's tabby fur, "Or am I wrong?", Angel asked the cat, who purred in response.

Hearing that answer, Husk growled under his breath, partly at the answer itself and partly because he wasn't exactly a big fan of his feline form.

Seeing what was happening, Sam immediately rushed to the tree where the demon was hanging and quickly put the ladder back in place so that Husk could climb down.

"Thanks, Sam!", replied the bartender, emphasizing the Hobbit's name and pointing his head towards the spider demon.

"See, you finally made it to the ground on your own two feet", Angel said cheerfully as he continued to clear away the leaves, or rather, the lawn.

Sam, seeing it all, understood that things couldn't go on like this, but he also realized that further warning was futile. He had to find a way to make the two demons see gardening not as a meaningless chore, but as a worthwhile effort, and at that moment an idea occurred to him. If you can't convince someone with normal words, try a nursery rhyme.

Sam went to get the spade to aerate the soil of the garden, leaving the two demons to talk to each other for a moment.

"Do you plan on doing anything other than sitting on that bench?", Husk asked.

"Hey, Frodo said one of the jobs is to control the animals, and I'm doing it. Besides, you have wings. Don't you?", the porn star justified hisself, going to ask Tom the cat again.

"Angel's right", Angel said in a slightly altered voice, holding Tom in front of his face to make it seem like he was the cat speaking.

"Please, don't start…", Husk began to say, but a voice interrupted the discussion between the two.

The two turned to see Sam busy using the spade and singing a song.

"Wake up, my friends, the day has begun,

The earth awaits us, the work must be done!

With hands in the soil and sweat on our brow,

Every seed we plant will grow somehow!

Dig and you prune, don't you slow down,

For the evening will reward your crown!

With a plate full of apples and cider so sweet,

And a fire to warm you when the day's complete"

The Hobbit began, in a harmonious tone and pacing himself with the blows of the spade on the ground, then continued with the chorus, hoping that the two would join in the singing.

"Oh, what sweet toil,

oh, what dear strife,

When the day is done and you return to life!

There's a fire alight and the supper is ready,

No one judges you, no one's ever heady!"

Sam sang, and then motioned for the two to add their voices.

Angel and Husk looked at each other skeptically and the spider demon started, although it wasn't what Sam thought.

"Oh, lovely Shire, oh, green little jail,

Just Hell with more flowers and nicer detail!

Down there at least we knew who we were,

Here we're just guests that no one wants near!

And even if we toil just like you,

We're still just monsters to shun and eschew.

What's the difference here or down there?

We're losers, baby, and we're all too aware!"

Angel added, getting up from the bench and placing the iron end of the rake in front of his face to simulate the bars of a cage, while using one of his arms to simulate the gesture of stabbing someone in the back, demonstrating that for him between Hell and the Shire there was only a facade of kindness that covered up the rot, and Husk nodding in agreement.

Sam then understood what the problem was, namely that the abrasive behavior of some Hobbits in the Shire had convinced the two demons that the place in question was just a land of masks, but he had to show them that the Shire was something else entirely, a place where at first there is a bit of normal suspicion, but then warm hospitality appears, and wanting to express this, Sam resumed his nursery rhyme, in a tone that expressed understanding and that was intended to convey a glimmer of hope.

"I know it's hard, I know it's a fight,

That the world looks at you with suspicious sight.

But even here, 'mid the hills and the trees,

There are hands that will welcome you with ease.

The work may be heavy, it's true, it's no joke,

And many will judge you before they invoke.

But like a seed that grows with patience and care,

Even the hardest heart can learn to prepare.

And when the day's done and the fire's aglow,

With the table set full and laughter that flows,

It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from,

There's a place here for you, if you choose to come!"

The brown-haired halfling stated in his singing tone.

Here Husk recalled when he had to take Angel back to the hotel and to cheer him up he revealed that in the end we all have something that in the eyes of others makes us losers, but the important thing is to have someone to swallow the crap the world tries to bury you with, and thinking this, the feline demon decided to join the chorus.

"It's true down there we were losers with no chance,

But if we found a spark in that dark expanse,

Why can't we try to find one here too?

Also here someone's willing to give us a clue!

Down there you are alone with no tomorrow,

But here there's a place where we might just borrow.

We were losers, baby, but here's the thing,

If we hoped down there, why not try to begin?"

That part of Husk on the one hand made Angel reconsider his ideas, who recognized in those words the same ones that gave him comfort when the worldit seemedcollapse on him, and on the other hand they gave hope to Sam, who could see that there was a side of them that was difficult to see, but present and that could be found if you were willing.

"Oh, sweet hard work, oh, dear sweet strife,

When the day is done and you return to life!

There's a fire alight and the supper is ready,

No one judges you, no one's ever heady!"

Sam repeated the refrain.

"I cause a scandal 'mong the Hobbits here,

With my style, my talk, my flamboyant flair.

They look at me like I'm a dangerous snare,

But I know who I am, and I don't really care!"

Intervene Angel Dust.

"Here they look at me like some kind of beast,

Me and my group, like we're some kind of feast.

But if they think that scares me, they're wrong,

I know my errors, and for this I'm standing strong"

Husk added.

"Even some Hobbits see me just the same,

A simple gardener, good for following claims.

But I know my worth, and I don't need their fame,

For I've got my heart, and I've got my name!"

Sam concluded and then the three joined their voices in a single chorus.

"In the end, let others think what they may,

We've got all we need, come what may.

We've got each other, we've got this place,

And that, my friends, is more than enough grace!

Oh, sweet hard work, oh, dear sweet strife,

When the day is done and you return to life!

There's a fire alight and the supper is ready,

No one judges you, no one's ever heady!"

And the song ended with the three of them having smiles on their faces.

"Wow! You guys are pretty good at singing", the spider demon admitted.

"A day without good food and sweet music is a day wasted", Sam replied. "Now, come on, it's almost time for afternoon tea", added the halfling as he returned to aerating the soil with his spade.

Meanwhile, the two looked at each other and decided to get back to work, this time with more determination.

"Come on, I'll hold the ladder for you this time", said the spider demon as he and Husk approached the tree to be pruned.

"Don't worry, I'll land on my feet anyway", replied the bartender with that smile still on his lips.

Moments before all this happened, in Bilbo's study you could hear the sound of papers being moved from one side to the other and of pens being tapped the glass of the inkwell to remove the excess ink. Here were Frodo and Charlie, intent on the task to copy the various notes Bilbo had compiled over years of activity. Among those sheets, one could find everything from recipes to songs, from nursery rhymes to notes on various tales collected throughout Middle-earth, though all filtered through the mind of a Hobbit.

The two had shared Bilbo's oak desk, with the halfling on the left and the princess on the right, with the center being the space reserved for the various maps and parchments once collected by one and sometimes the other.

"I must admit that your uncle had his share of adventures", commented Charlie while copying out some writings that narrated various anecdotes of Bilbo, such as his encounter with the Trolls or his journey to the Lonely Mountain, all of which had a touch of typical Hobbit irony.

"Yes, from the moment he began telling me about his travels, he always managed to amaze me. Each subsequent tale was always more astonishing than the last", replied Frodo, who was copying a map of the Lonely Mountain, with a drawing in red ink of a dragon, Smaug, with the words "Keep away!", next to it.

"And the incredible thing is that he manages to tell the whole thing with irony, even this part where he says that some Trolls wanted to eat him and his companions", added the princess, who had noticed this way of Frodo's uncle to narrate the events, without ever being too serious, something that he appreciated, as it reminded her own optimistic side, always ready to look for the good in every situation.

"And wait till you get to the part where he spoke face to face with Smaug", said the Hobbit amusedly, though still a little melancholy over his uncle's departure.

Then the halfling remembered a memory, which gave rise to a doubt.

"One moment", Frodo began, then rose from his chair and walked over to the door. "Niffty!", he called.

"Yes?", replied the little Cyclops, who had arrived immediately on the scene with some parchments in her hand, since she was still tidying up the various writings scattered around the house.

"Can you find any papers on which Melkor's name is written?", asked Frodo, lowering his voice a little so as not to be heard.

"Hmm…ok", replied Niffty, who immediately began darting through the corridors, looking for what Frodo had asked her for.

"Mellon", a voice was heard using this word.

"How?" asked the Hobbit as he turned towards the source of that voice, which was Charlie.

"Oh, nothing, I was just reading those words aloud in elvish", Charlie informed him. "From what I can make out of Bilbo's attempts to translate it and explain the pronunciation, it sounds like such a fascinating language", she added as she checked what the word he had just said meant. "Mellon means friend, it can always come in handy, the more friends you have the better".

At that point the halfman sketched a slight smile.

"Yes, I think so too", he replied.

"Here you are!", exclaimed the Cyclops' voice as she appeared at the entrance to the room with the paper the Hobbit had requested.

At that point the said Hobbit headed towards Niffty and took the parchment.

"Thank you", thanked Frodo. "Ah, one last thing", he began. "If you find any letters in the house, don't open them. There's private business inside", the Hobbit concluded.

"Oh, unspeakable secrets, exciting", the little governess said to herself. "Okay", she replied in her euphoric tone, before resuming her rush to tidy up everything that was in disarray.

Frodo returned to reading the notes Bilbo had written about Melkor, or Morgoth.

"Er, Charlie", said Frodo to get the princess's attention.

"Yes, what's happening?", asked the princess of Hell.

"Are those beings you call Angels also called Valar?", asked the halfman.

The Hobbit, though skeptical of both the elven tales and the tale told by Charlie, was curious about the similarities between the two narratives, and wanted to see what they had in common.

"No, as far as I know they have always been called Angels, then there is a hierarchy among them with various members, like the exorcists or the Seraphim, but I have never heard of Angels being called Valar", replied Charlie.

"Strange", began the Hobbit, "for in these notes I have read of the story of a Valar, Melkor, or Morgoth, whose story is similar to that which you have told me of Lucifer", she explained.

"Really?", Charlie admitted, now also intrigued by the fact.

"Yes, like Melkor's disobedience to the other Valar and the corruption he brought upon the world, but there are also differences. In fact, here Melkor is described as a being whose envy and desire for power led to a war, where he was eventually exiled, but not before bringing corruption upon all of Middle-earth", the Hobbit stated.

"Frodo, may I see the writing?", the princess asked politely, to which the halfling responded positively, granting her the parchment.

Charlie began reading the various sentences, and she too noticed similarities with the story of Hell, but above all she noticed the differences.

Here Melkor, whom the princess intuited to be the equivalent of her father Lucifer, was not a dreamer, but was like the classic representation of the Devil, that is, eager to bend everyone to his will. Furthermore, in the notes, as the halfling had previously noted, there was no mention of Lilith, Adam or Eve.

"I admit there are some similarities with the story of Hell, but from the texts I've ever read, no one ever called Lucifer Melkor or Morgoth, and there's no reference here to Lilith or anyone else", Charlie observed, though the similarities, however few and far outweighed by the differences, had raised some doubts. Perhaps that universe wasn't so different from theirs.

That moment of reflection was interrupted when they both heard a voice humming.

"Sam?", said Frodo as he and Charlie looked out of the window overlooking the garden at Bag End, and saw the gardener singing one of his classic nursery rhymes to accompany his work, but the difference was that this time they weren't just simple rhymes that they were encouraging at work, but the voices of the two demons were also added, with their skepticism and their resentment, which however disappeared, always thanks to Sam and his personality and his words, which managed to convince the two to give that place another chance and also to get back to work.

Charlie watched the scene with a look that was somewhere between moved and proud, as progress, however small, was being made, and this reminded her of the moments in the hotel, where everyone, in their own time, was beginning to show a side otherwise hidden by the hellish routine.

"There is no creature who doesn't like gardening after talking to Sam", commented Frodo, knowing the gardener well and the passion he had in carrying out his profession.

The princess nodded and then got back to work.

"Oops!", she gasped.

"What happened?", asked the halfman.

"I made a mistake in copying", Charlie admitted regretfully as she went to point out the error.

The Hobbit went to check and saw that instead of saying "Lembas" it said "Lembass".

Frodo smiled and reassured the princess in a calm, understanding tone.

"Don't worry, give me the quill", replied the Hobbit, and immediately began moving it over the spot where the extra letter was, and in a few seconds the letter had been replaced by a drawing of a mushroom. "There you go, when you make a mistake, just hide it with a drawing, so it looks like it was there on purpose", advised Frodo, then checking the other pages with the transcribed notes on them. "And I don't think that…they would spoil small drawings on the other pages".

"Really?!", Charlie said cheerfully, as she was allowed to express her creativity.

"Of course, even the best texts would be gray without a dragon or a plant drawn on them", the halfling replied as he returned the pen to its previous owner.

Meanwhile, Charlie checked the drawing the halfling had made, "I must say you have a good hand when it comes to art", she commented, noting the details and how the Hobbit had used the lines that formed the extra letter as the basis for the mushroom.

"Bilbo taught me. I still remember the first time I was asked to copy a text. In the end, it seemed more like a garden than a text for all the plants my uncle drew to hide the mistakes", Frodo recalled, and even then there was a certain nostalgia in his voice and a hint of bitterness in his gaze.

This time the princess noticed, and she was sorry.

It was clear that Frodo was very attached to his uncle and it definitely wouldn't all go away in two days, but Charlie still wanted to try to cheer him up somehow and while she was thinking about how to do it, her hands were leafing through the various parchments, including some nursery rhymes, such as "The Dragon Smaug" and "The Harvest Festival" and among them there was one that seemed appropriate for the situation, namely "The Cheerful Traveler".

Charlie cleared her throat and began to sing the nursery rhyme.

"If the road is long and your heart feels sore,

Hey-ho! Don't you stop, just keep moving more!

The wind may howl and the night may fall,

Hey-ho! But dawn will rise with its golden glow for all!

Every step you take holds a treasure untold,

Hey-ho! Even when the path feels weary and cold!

Don't look back, don't fear the night,

Hey-ho! For the sun will return and make everything right!"

The princess began, even though those nursery rhymes weren't her thing, she still managed to sing those phrases so that they made a sweet melody to listen to.

Frodo, hearing those lines, thought of all the times he and his uncle used to sing it, and he also thought of how the nursery rhyme continued, and a Hobbit never holds back when it comes to singing.

"And if the journey's hard and your strength feels thin,

Hey-ho! Don't lose your hope, my dear old kin!

Even if the world seems cruel and far,

Hey-ho! A small step forward will take you far!

If the past burns bright like a winter's flame,

Hey-ho! Listen to the wind, follow your aim!

You'll find your joy where you least expect,

Hey-ho! And a fire to warm you, safe and perfect!"

Frodo continued the nursery rhyme, although he was a little hesitant at first, but by the second verse he began to smile and put more spirit into his singing, thanks also to Charlie, who encouraged him to give more with gestures and kept time by tapping the floor with the toe and heel of her shoe.

When the second verse was finished, the two joined their voices for the last part, both with enthusiasm.

"So raise your glass high, sing out loud and clear,

Hey-ho! For life is a journey, not a farewell, my dear!

With a smile in your pocket and a step so light,

Hey-ho! Even the darkest night will turn to morning bright!

And if one day you feel lost and alone,

Hey-ho! Remember there's always a fire and a home!

For true friends, though distant, will warm your heart,

Hey-ho! Like a perfect hearth on a cold, dark start!".

"Bilbo had a nursery rhyme for every occasion", comment The halfman after finishing the song.

"Yeah, in that regard, he sounds a bit like me"; added Charlie, who saw singing as a tool for solving many problems.

"Well, it's afternoon tea time soon, I'd better go and let the others know", affirmed the Hobbit as he headed out of the room, "Aren't you coming?", he asked, seeing the princess standing still in her place.

"Oh, I'm coming now, I just want to read the other nursery rhymes Bilbo wrote", said Charlie.

"Ah, then get ready, there are quite a few of them, if you read them all you'll be in time for afternoon tea tomorrow", the halfling joked as he left and headed towards the main room, deep in his thoughts and still immersed in the euphoria of that past moment, but as he did so he felt something under his foot but before he realised what it was he heard a small scream.

"Ouch!", exclaimed a voice, which was that of Sir Pentious.

At once the Hobbit looked down and saw that under his foot was the tail of the reptile.

"Oh, sorry! I was in my own world and didn't see you", Frodo apologized immediately.

"Oh, no problem", began the snake demon, "It's not the first time this has happened", concluded Pentious, who was sawing away a section of the ceiling where there was a hole and since Hobbit houses were very low, he didn't even need a ladder or any other raised platform.

"What are you doing?", the halfling asked the demon.

"Oh, I'm only repairing this part of the ceiling, as I was walking through the corridors I noticed this hole and thought I would fix the damage, after all I am the repairman", the snake explained.

"Oh yes, I remember that hole, a little accident with one of Gandalf's fireworks", admitted the Hobbit.

"No need to worry. A piece of wood to cover the removed square and some coloring to uniform it to the rest of the ceiling and everything will be fixed", Pentious assured.

"Perfect", replied Frodo, although the hole brought back some funny memories, it certainly couldn't have represented a damaged house, "One last thing, it's almost time for afternoon tea".

"Oh, wonderful, but first I'll finish this little task", said the cobra demon.

Next, Frodo reached the main hall and after checking the windows to make sure no Sackville was spying, he approached the fireplace and pushed the pepper jar that was on the left of a shelf, and after a few moments a passage opened up to reach the cellar.

Vaggie was present right in the cellar, checking everything there was, from the various bottles to the barrels, from the jars to the cheeses and even the various tools, using the diary to take inventory.

While marking some barrels and their contents, the girl heard a noise among the said barrels, which put her on alert.

After a while the noise moved elsewhere, to the equipment area and then again to the area where the cured meats were kept.

The white-haired girl followed the various sources of those noises, then finally…

"Hello Vaggie!", greeted Frodo.

"Huh?!", Vaggie gasped, whirling around.

"Don't worry, it's me", the Hobbit assured as he raised his hands.

"Frodo", the girl began, calmer now, "I didn't hear you coming. I was following some sounds but I don't know where they're coming from", she explained.

"Yes, this cellar has a certain mystery about it. I don't even know exactly what's inside", the Hobbit confessed as he approached the table in the center of the room and saw the diary open, with various entries such as "Shire Red Wine - Autumn 2940" and "Tuk Stout - Summer 2967". "I see you're starting to use the diary you were given", he observed.

"Uh, yeah, I needed a place to record it all. It won't be much of an adventure, but it's better than nothing", replied Vaggie, who continued to check various areas of the cellar in an attempt to find the source of those noises.

"Ah, adventure is not a sheep to be called to pasture, it can arrive at any moment and everything can start from an unexpected event", explained the halfling.

"If you say so", replied the gray-skinned girl.

"Anyway, it's nearly time for afternoon tea, so, do you want to come up?", asked the Hobbit.

"Hmm… well,yes, I need some fresh air", commented Vaggie as she followed Frodo towards the stairs.

However, just at that moment a new noise was heard in the cellar, which made the girl turn her head abruptly, and her alert eye noticed a small mouse emerging from between the bottles and running around the room.

"Found it!", exclaimed the gray-skinned girl as she set off to teach the rodent.

"Vaggie! Wait!", said the halfling as the mouse could be seen starting to run away, looking for a place to hide from that white-haired huntress.

Eventually the little animal managed to escape by slipping between the barrels of apple cider.

"Fuck!", the girl screamed as she banged her fist on a barrel, which resounded with a loud thud.

Hearing this thud made both her and Frodo suspicious, who approached with a confused look and intrigued by that echo coming from the barrel.

"Shouldn't it be full?", asked the halfling.

"Yes, but I still had to get these barrels checked out", Vaggie informed.

At that moment Frodo began to tap on the barrel, which was marked "Apple Cider - Autumn 2957" and from the sounds he realized that the barrel was completely empty, without even a bit of cider in it.

At that point the Hobbit began to move the barrel, also with the help of the girl, and brought it near the table.

"It's strange that an empty barrel has been kept here for so long", Frodo observed. "Can you bring me the tongs and chisel? I want to see what's there", he asked, turning to Vaggie.

"Okay," the girl replied and immediately headed for the tool corner, where she found the aforementioned tongs and chisel, next to a sign that read "Do not touch unless you are an expert!". "Here you are", the girl said as she handed the tools to Frodo.

After a few moments the rings of the barrel were widened and with the chisel it was possible to open the lid of the barrel, and inside it was noticed that it was not completely empty, but there was something, namely... straw.

"Straw?", said Frodo as he looked at the contents of the cask. "Just a moment", resumed the Hobbit, who, looking more carefully, could notice that there was a sort of shimmer among all the dry stalks.

The halfling then overturned the cask to extract the glittering contents, and finally, Frodo emerged with a bottle in his hand.

"A bottle?", asked the gray-skinned girl, who didn't understand why a bottle would be hidden in a barrel.

The bottle wasn't like the others there. It was made of bluish crystal with a silver cap and a wax seal, which was precisely what created that sparkle in the dark. There was a label on the bottle, but it was written in elven characters, which were incomprehensible to both of them.

"It seems to be an elven drink", said the Hobbit, who, though he could not read the elven alphabet, could distinguish it. "It must be one of the presents the elves gave Bilbo, but I don't think he wants it any more, after all, if he wants a bottle now, he only has to ask for it", thought the halfling, since his uncle was now with the Elves, besides if Bilbo had wanted that bottle, he would have taken it with him.

"So…what do we do with this?", asked Vaggie.

"Well", the Hobbit began as he walked over to a shelf and pulled back a cloth that was hiding two crystal glasses, "Might as well try it", he concluded, placing one glass on the table and handing the other to Vaggie.

"What? Oh no, thanks", the girl declined the offer.

"Oh no, you don't leave a guest or a helper empty-handed. You are both, too, double reason to give yourself a sip", Frodo stated.

"Look, I understand the politeness, but I'm not interested", said the white-haired girl.

"Come on, here in the Shire there's no such thing as "eating" without the word "offering". It's just a single drop, just to fill the bottom", assured the Hobbit, who obviously valued the courtesy of always offering a guest something, be it food or drink.

"I would like to stay alert so I can do my job better", Vaggie said.

"Oh yeah, I wonder what the landlord would say if he found out you were drinking while you were working", he began, then turned his head to the right, as if pretending to talk to someone else. "Mr. landlord, would you allow Miss Vaggie to take a break from her work and have a drink?", he practically asked himself, then turned his head to the left, as if to continue the scene. "Well, since she's been working so hard, I don't see what the problem is", answered Frodo with a deeper voice.

"Haha", the girl pretended to laugh, "Very funny", commented with a bored tone.

"It's true, though, that you've been here doing your work since the sun rose. You need a break. Besides, there's afternoon tea coming up soon, and there'll be some cider too. You're certainly not the only one who isn't completely sober", insisted the Hobbit.

"Oh, all right, but just a drop", warned the gray-skinned girl as Frodo opened the bottle, from which a bluish-amber liquid began to flow, filling the bottoms of both glasses.

"It really feels like being in an elven forest", commented Frodo while he felt the aromas of the drink, "Cheers!", said the halfling as he clinked the glasses, with the white-haired girl accompanying him, albeit with less motivation.

The two tasted the drink, which presented a sweet taste like honey, but not cloying, with a touch of spice and a fresh note.

But the most surprising thing was the sensation that overtook both of them after tasting it. It was a sensation of warmth, but not the kind that accompanies drunkenness, it was a warmth that gently enveloped you, like the setting sun, and this was also accompanied by a feeling of lightness.

Both felt all their worries, fears, and doubts melt away, as if they had vanished. Tormented pasts and uncertain futures met the same fate: annihilation.

This peace of mind lasted for a few moments, before bringing the two back to reality.

"Oh yes, it is definitely something elvish", said the Hobbit as he poured another drop into his glass, a second taste, as he called it.

"Wait", Vaggie said, and the halfling stopped just as the drink was about to touch his lips. "Could I… have another drop?", she asked, her tone slightly hesitant.

To this question the halfling responded by raising an eyebrow and smiling slightly, as he remembered the girl's warning to give her only a drop.

"It doesn't taste bad", the gray-skinned girl replied with a hint of pride, inventing something on the spot to cancel out her previous words.

She actually really liked the taste, but that wasn't the only thing that drove her to a second taste. It was that feeling of lightness that she didn't mind, the feeling of being able to feel the scars of the past receding.

And so came the second tasting, again with a clinking of glasses, where this time the gesture was shared.

The taste and sensations were the same as the first taste, although the two had the sensation of seeing a sort of light manifesting around them.

And the third and, promised, final taste arrived, but what greeted them was the feeling of their eyes growing heavy, so much so that they closed, leaving the two in total darkness.

When their eyes reopened, they were no longer in the cellar at Bag End, in fact, they were not even in the Shire.

Chapter Text

"Where are we?!", Vaggie asked anxiously, as she saw that the place they were in was decidedly different.

The place where they found themselves was in a wooded area, where trees such as oaks, beeches and wild apple trees grew and on whose branches it was possible to see and hear larks and nightingales.

The things that most of they were jumping to the eye was the river that was a few meters away from them, whose water did not have the classic blue color typical of a watercourse, but had a reddish color, but above all the fact that it was no longer early afternoon, but it was the moment of sunset, with the sun showing itself for the last moments of the day, reflecting its light on the leaves of the trees, which stood out their color ranging from red to golden, to purple.

"It seems like we are in an elven place", commented Frodo, who looked at that place with wonder, wonder fueled by the stories of his uncle Bilbo.

"Is this reality or a dream?", asked the girl, her tone showing her suspicion of that place.

Just before the halfling could answer, voices could be heard in the distance, voices singing, or at least they seemed to be singing given the melodious tone, since neither of them understood the language used.

"Who is it?", asked the white-haired girl again, who was always on the alert.

"They are Elves", replied the halfling, who could recognize Elvish songs even if he did not understand them, and indeed, from the direction from which the voices were coming, wooden boats with various gold and silver decorations could be seen approaching, their sinuous lines reminiscent of the shape of a swan. The boats were propelled by long, thin oars.

The boats' appearance was as elegant as their passengers.

The Elves appeared as men and women up to two meters tall, with fair skin that presented light golden highlights. Their faces were oval and sharp, with high cheekbones and regular features. Their hair ranged from golden blonde to light brown, even copper, braided with gold ribbons or left loose with flowers or grape leaves. Their clothing ranged from long, low-cut tunics for the males to wrap-around dresses for the females.

As soon as the boats were close enough, the Elves continued their singing, but this time in a language that was understandable to Vaggie and Frodo.

"Oh, weary souls, come rest awhile,

This haven's safe from every trial.

The river flows, the trees stand tall,

Here no one stumbles, no one falls.

Oh, weary souls, lay down your load,

The path is kind, the road is broad!"

Thus the Elves intoned, accompanying their voices with harps, flutes and tambourines, as they approached the shore where the two stood in their boats.

As soon as the port side of the boats touched the ground, the passengers immediately looked at who was in front of them, with their large, almond-shaped eyes, whose irises were golden, green, or amber, and their gaze was penetrating but kind, without severity or judgment.

"Oh, the golden leaves, the river's glow,

This place I know from tales of old.

They talked of these places' light,

Where Elves do sing and stars burn bright.

Oh, the air is sweet, the water's clear,

Where there is joy without fear"

Frodo sang with typical Hobbit gaiety and also with the wonder of being able to see an Elf in person, which was always an incredible event, especially for a Shireman.

Frodo, as he continued his humming, began to approach the boats, with the Elves holding out their arms in hospitality.

"Wait! Frodo!", the girl warned, holding him by the arm.

"What is it?", asked Frodo, noticing Vaggie's distrust. "Don't worry, it's safe, they're Elves", he reassured.

"Oh, light may shine and voices call,

But flames can burn and shadows fall.

I've seen the bright turn dark and cold,

Like moths that fly too close to gold.

Oh, how can I trust this golden hue?

When light itself can burn you too?"

She also warned the girl, beginning to sing in a tense tone. She wanted to warn the Hobbit that sometimes things are not as they seem, and that those who seem to bring light reveal themselves to be dark inside. Furthermore, those tall, majestic figures reminded her strongly of Angels, which made her even more wary.

Frodo noticed this change in attitude and in those words he was reminded of the conversation he had had the day before about things in the past that one does not want to remember. He sensed that the girl's past experiences had developed a sense of mistrust and constant alertness, and so he decided to try to give her reassurance, just as Charlie did with him before.

"Yes, light can blind and paths can bend,

But standing still won't make amends.

The past is just a road you're walking,

A guide, not a burden that clips your wings.

Oh, walk with me, don't fear the way,

The stars still shine through night and day!"

Frodo intoned as he approached one of the boats and like the Elves, he turned to Vaggie and held out a hand in encouragement, while the Elves continued with their refrain.

"Oh, weary souls, come rest awhile,

This haven's safe from every trial.

The river flows, the trees stand tall,

Here no one stumbles, no one falls.

Oh, weary souls, lay down your load,

The path is kind, the road is broad!"

Those words made themselves heard, as they brought to mind another voice that gave her confidence and security in a place like Hell, namely Charlie's voice. The girl with white hair glimpsed the figure of her girlfriend being there, next to Frodo and the Elves, also with a hand outstretched towards her.

"I remember now a voice so true,

Who told me you'll pull through.

The morning stars' lights shines so bright,

A beacon in my darkest night.

Oh, maybe light can show the way,

If I just trust it won't betray".

Vaggie replied, her tone no longer tense, but softer, as she approached the boat, much to the delight of Frodo and the Elves.

Eventually the two boarded a boat, which continued its journey, following the path of the sun, which gave off a bright but not dazzling light.

"Oh, the golden leaves, the river's glow,

This haven's safe, this much we know!

The past may haunt, the future call,

But here and now, we stand up tall!

So take my hand, don't fear the way,

The stars will guide us through the day!".

They all sang together with great joy and when it was over, the two passengers, just as they had arrived, left immediately, their eyes meeting the sunlight, without however feeling bothered, on the contrary, they were almost hypnotized by it, until that light became that of the lamp placed on the ceiling of the cellar.

The two slowly returned to reality,getting up again from the floor.

"What…what just happened?", asked the gray-skinned girl, who still held the crystal glass in her hand.

"I can't say for sure", replied Frodo, as confused as she was. "Apparently Gandalf's warnings were true, never overdo the Elven drinks",

"Was it all a vision? Or was it reality? It was all too real to be just some kind of dream", Vaggie thought aloud, unsure what to make of what had happened.

"Elves are as mysterious as their products", was all the halfling could say to explain what had happened. "Well, we'd better be going now, or we'll miss the tea", the Hobbit stated as he headed for the stairs.

"Frodo", Vaggie called to him, "And what do we do with this?", she asked, pointing to the bottle.

"Let's leave it here for now. We'll have a nice drink for dinner and a good story to tell", Frodo replied with a smile, then headed for the exit.

Vaggie started to follow him, then stopped and turned toward the table, looking first at the bottle and then at her journal with the pen and inkwell nearby.

He walked over to the table and took the little book with the rabbit skin cover, the pen and the ink, and began to write down what had just happened.

"Could this be the unexpected event that will start the adventure? Unless we take what happened at the hotel as valid", the girl thought as she too left the cellar.

The Hobbit then headed out into the garden to tell Sam and the others about the break.

"Sam!", Frodo called to his gardener.

"Yes, Mr. Frodo?", asked Sam, hearing his name.

"It's teatime", replied Frodo.

"Oh, we'll be right there", replied the gardener, and quickly called the attention of his two assistants, "Come in! It's teatime".

"Finally a break", commented the porn star.

"It won't be like the bar or the inn, but it'll be better than nothing", Husk added as he and Angel followed Sam into Bag End.

After a few minutes Charlie and Pentious also arrived.

"Isn't anyone missing?", Frodo wondered, noticing some missing things.

"Is it tea time?", asked the radio demon, who suddenly appeared behind the halfling, making him jump.

"Ah!", he exclaimed at the sudden question, "Oh yes, it's tea time now",

"Perfect", commented the demon as he headed towards the table in the main room, "I really needed a break".

"Yes, you worked so hard", Vaggie replied sarcastically.

"Exactly, finally the efforts I make to keep this place going are being recognized", Alastor replied pleasedly as the white-haired girl pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation.

"Um, where is Niffty?", Pentious asked.

"One moment", Charlie replied as he approached the corridor, "Nifty!".

After a few seconds the little cyclops had already arrived.

"Yes?", she asked.

"It's tea time", replied the Princess of Hell.

"Oh, okay", replied Niffty and then approached the table.

After a few minutes, everything needed was on the table: herbal tea, milk with honey, apple pies, strawberry jam spread on fresh bread, sandwiches, smoked sausages courtesy of Vaggie and the ones she'd been given at Bilbo's party, and fresh fruit.

"Here's Rosie's pie", Sam said as he brought the apple pie to the table. "Delicious", he assured.

"If it's half as good as the Rosie products I know, I'm sure of it", commented Alastor.

"Definitely", said the feline demon with an ironic tone, since he knew well what kind of raw material the Rosie mentioned by Alastor was dealing with, "Hey, where's the cider?", asked the bartender, noticing the lack of the drink on the table.

"Oh right!", affirmed Frodo, who, due to the situation that had previously arisen in the cellar, had completely forgotten to bring any cider, "I thought I had forgotten something. Sam, can you help me to bring the cider here?".

"Certainly, Mr. Frodo", replied the Hobbit, and the two immediately set off to go down to the cellar.

"It must be said that Mr. Frodo and Mr. Sam are very friendly", commented Pentious.

"That's right! Frodo told me you can add drawings to your notebook paper. I can't wait to show him!", the princess exclaimed enthusiastically.

"I'm sure he'll be happy", her girlfriend added, though she wasn't entirely sure. She loved her lover, but admitted that her artistic skills were a bit…basic. "And yes, he's certainly better than some Overlords", Vaggie added, referring to Frodo.

"Well, being better than Val is a very easy bar to overcome", said the porn star.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, which attracted the attention of everyone at the table.

"They're knocking", the radio demon began, "Someone should go and open the door".

"Wouldn't it be better if Frodo or Sam opened the door and saw who it was?", asked Angel, both because he was already expecting the reaction of seeing a demon open the door to the Baggins house, and also out of laziness.

"But Frodo and Sam are in the cellar, so one of us should go and see who it is", Charlie added.

At that point screams could be heard coming from the door.

"Frodo! Frodo Baggins!", cried a voice, which was immediately recognized by the group.

"Lobelia!", all seven of them said in unison, their tone expressing their annoyance at having to deal with her again.

"Oh, please, not her!", Husk whined as he pulled his cat ears in frustration.

"The old goat has returned", commented the girl with the gray skin to herself.

"Oh, I'm not going to talk to that one", affirmed the spider demon.

"Me neither", Pentious added.

"There are three of us", Husk said.

"But someone has to go and open the door, maybe it's an emergency", Charlie replied with her altruistic spirit.

"Then why don't you go?", asked the feline demon.

"Oh well…", began Charlie, who had an altruistic spirit, but Lobelia had this power to make even the most willing of benefactors hesitate.

"Oh, my dears, we all know how to decide who gets to go and listen to Mrs. Sackville's complaints", said Alastor.

At that moment, everyone looked into each other's eyes, with a tension that was palpable, everyone was focused and monitoring every single micromovement of the others present.

"Not me!", they all shouted in unison, but Angel was the slowest to speak, so by drawing lots he was the one chosen for this strenuous task.

"Fuck!", the porn star swore. "Okay, let's go", he convinced herself and got up from the table and headed for the front door.

As soon as he was in front of the door, he took a deep breath, to prepare himself for anything Lobelia might say or do, and then opened the door.

"Yes? What is it?", Angel Dust asked, as politely as he could muster, which was very little.

"Oh no! I want to speak to Frodo! Not to one of the strangers who occupy my rightful home!", Lobelia stated sourly.

"Good afternoon to you too, Lobelia. What do you need? If you're looking for your broomstick, I assure you it's not here, so there's no need to spy on us looking for it", the demon replied, a smirk forming as he aimed his jab at Mrs. Hobbit.

Upon hearing about the spying, Lobelia jumped slightly, although she tried to hide it as best she could.

"These are baseless accusations! I, on the contrary, am here because I have been wronged", Mrs. Hobbit admitted, diverting the conversation.

"I'm sorry, but being the most hated person in the Shire isn't our fault", Angel replied in his cheeky way.

"Oh, stop with these insulting phrases! One of my workers had his work tool stolen and I am more than sure that it was you!", said Lobelia while pointing to her companion, that is, a thin halfman, with gray hair and dressed in worn, patched clothes.

"Oh, I understand your pain"; the porn star addressed the farmer in an ironic tone, although in this case there was also a hint of empathy, given the person she was supposed to be taking orders from.

"Don't talk to him! Talk to me! I demand the return of what I have stolen", exclaimed Sackville, who immediately returned the attention to her.

"But shouldn't he be the one asking for the tool in question to be returned to him?", Angel asked Lobelia, who was speaking about the theft as if she were the victim and not her subordinate.

"It's enough for these servants to have work that can support them and repay the mercy I show them, so if they lose something, I lose, so that's my problem", replied Mrs. Hobbit.

Hearing those words, Angel's tone became less joking and more serious, as those words sounded very similar to what his boss used to say in Hell. The porn star took another deep breath to regain his composure and continued on.

"Look, we don't have what you're looking for here, we don't need to steal any tools since we already have them, besides just ask Sam and Frodo and they will confirm that no one took any stolen items into the house", Angel assured.

"Oh yes, of course, that pest who takes advantage of my house", Lobelia began, turning to Frodo, "Or that rude gardener who is only good at spreading manure in the vegetable garden", she continued, speaking of Sam.

The spider demon then looked serious again, almost irritated, and began to clench his fists slightly, as this Hobbit, who was already seen as a nuisance, was not only accusing them of theft, but was also spewing hatred towards their host, namely Frodo, and also towards Sam, with whom he was developing a friendship, given their commonality of being judged simply by their outward appearance.

"Excuse me", said the subordinate, who had been silent until then, "I don't think… it's necessary… to make such a fuss over a rusty hoe…", stammered the Hobbit.

"Silence! Do you dare complain about the tools I offer you? You should be thankful that I don't make you work with your bare hands", Lobelia stated as she attacked her subordinate, "Remember that it's my house you work in and mine are the lands you cultivate and the tools you use, so what you produce is mine, you should be grateful that you are left with something to eat instead of having to talk when no one asked you to! Don't forget that you are under my control!", she concluded as she grabbed the servant by his shirt.

This brought one particular phrase to Angel's mind.

"I own you, or have you forgotten?", this sentence uttered by Valentino echoed in the demon's mind again and again.

That was the breaking point.

"Listen, you filthy bitch witch!", exclaimed the spider demon, with obvious anger.

"What did you say?", asked Lobelia, outraged and indignant.

"You heard me! Listen carefully", Angel began as he stepped out of the entryway so he could display his full height and face Sackville. "I don't give a damn who you are, who fucked your ancestor to gain a position of power, or anything else. Since we've been here, you've done nothing but treat us like shit, like you do the rest of the Shire. I'm surprised they haven't kicked you out yet!", the demon continued as he pointed a finger at Mrs. Hobbit, causing her to step back. "So you can be whoever you want with your underlings, but I and the others in this house are not your little servants to use as you wish. We don't have what you're looking for here, period, so leave now!", he concluded.

As she was backing away, Lobelia stubbed her foot on a pebble and ended up falling backwards.

"There will be consequences, oh there will be consequences for this affront!", Mrs. Sackville threatened as she walked away, taking the servant with her, at whom the porn star gave a pitying look before returning to the house and returning to the table.

"What did he want?", Husk asked.

"Oh nothing, just plain old complaints, nothing major", the porn star immediately replied, trying to hide the anger he had just released.

"Are you okay, Angel?", asked Charlie, noticing a slight change in her friend's demeanor before going to open the door.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, it's just unnerving dealing with someone like that", Angel Dust replied quickly, trying to make up an excuse on the spot, since he didn't want to reveal what had happened.

"Here's the cider", Frodo interjected as he and Sam brought in bottles of apple cider, ready to be drunk.

However, the Hobbit, looking at those present, noticed a lack of cheerfulness compared to before.

"What happened?", asked Frodo.

"There was a knock at the door", replied the feline demon.

"Really? I didn't even hear the door knock", the halfling admitted. "And who was it?".

"Take a guess", Husk suggested.

Seeing the faces of the demons, Frodo had an idea who the person in question might be.

"Sackville?", he tried to say, hoping it wasn't them, even though he knew deep down that it definitely was them.

"Sackville", the seven answered in unison.

"This thing is getting out of hand!", said Frodo. "I can't let my guests come tormented by the Sackvilles".

"Frodo, a question", Angel began, still recovering from his previous outburst. "How do you people in the Shire put up with people like Lobelia?", he demanded. "Seriously, she could rival a lot of people in our house in terms of being unbearable".

"I know", Frodo said as he placed the bottle on the table and sat down with the others. "I know that Lobelia and the others can be very difficult obstacles to overcome, but even those of us in the Shire who live a quiet life without getting caught up in trouble know that there is no life without something or someone who will give you trouble. Everyone has a burden to carry, but for us, the important thing is to know how to enjoy life when that burden is lighter. Some people are like snakes, no offense", Frodo said, turning to Pentious.

"Don't worry, it's no problem", the cobra demon assured.

"And their actions and words are like poison, and if you let them fill you, you'll eventually become like them. The only thing you can do is enjoy the happy moments and company, only then can you empty yourself of the hatred they send you", concluded the Hobbit while pouring himself some tea.

"Wise words", commented Alastor.

"Yes, it's a very positive philosophy that fits well with the way of life in the County", added the princess.

"Thank you. Now let's eat, Lobelia won't spoil our tea", said the Hobbit, and everyone began their meal.

And tea time flew by, with Angel eating and drinking with the others, still thinking about what had happened with Lobelia, beginning to faintly wonder what that witch could be up to.

As teatime flew by, so did the afternoon, and evening arrived with a hearty dinner worthy of Bag End.

Rabbit stew, roast lamb, grilled fish, all accompanied by roast potatoes, cheeses, and stuffed mushrooms, followed by desserts, with leftovers from Rosie's apple pie, honey, and biscuits, and drinks including Tuk beer, apple cider, and red wine.

The conclusion of the meal was accompanied by a quick nursery rhyme from Frodo and Sam.

"The supper is done, our bellies are glad,

The fire is crackling, the hearth is warm and grand!

We ate with joy and laughter bright,

Now sleep is coming… but first, a toast we'll say just right!".

Sam began as he put away some leftovers from dinner for a possible late-night snack, while some, like Charlie or Pentius, kept time by tapping their foot on the floor or hitting the table with their hand.

"Oh, bread and butter, pie and cider,

Mushrooms, cheese, and smiles grow wider!

Whether the feast be long or brief,

The best of all is good company, as we believe!".

The two Hobbits sang in chorus.

"The stew was tasty, the wine was too,

Golden potatoes, fresh bread, and honey sweet as dew!

Sam cooked with love and care so true,

Now rest we need… and maybe a tune or two!".

Frodo continued with the second verse as he put on the table the famous drink he had found in the cellar with Vaggie.

"Oh, bread and butter, pie and cider,

Mushrooms, cheese, and smiles grow wider!

Whether the feast be long or brief,

The best of all is good company, as we believe!".

The two halflings concluded as they sat down with the others, ready to savor the mysterious drink.

"Well done! Well done!", exclaimed Charlie, applauding the performance.

"Well, now that we are all here, we can enjoy this elven product", said Frodo as he opened the bottle and poured its contents into each of the goblets present.

"Did you really end up somewhere talking to elves after a few drinks?", Husk asked the two directly involved. He was an expert on alcohol and had been through a lot of drunkenness, but from there to seeing Elves was a very long leap.

"Yes, it was strange", replied the white-haired girl.

"But also fascinating", added Frodo.

"It's incredible, Mr. Frodo. I've always wanted to see an Elf, they're such mysterious but also so interesting beings", admitted gardener Sam.

"Hmm, alcohol-fueled trips that bring you into the presence of fascinating men and women. I'm making a note of this for a possible new story of mine", Niffty noted.

"Well, it looks like the result of any party where LSD was present", commented Angel.

"LS… what?", Sam asked.

"It doesn't matter", Charlie and Vaggie said together.

"Well, it's time to try it, cheers!", said Frodo and they all savoured the contents of their goblets.

"Wow! This surpasses anything I've ever tried at least a hundred times", said the porn star, extremely amazed by the taste and the calming and warming effect that the drink conveyed.

"Besides, this feeling is incredible", added the little cyclops, who remained hyperactive anyway, but sometimes not even an elven drink can do that much.

"Yes, just as I remembered", said Frodo.

Just as everyone was enjoying the tranquility of the moment, there was another knock at the door.

"Oh my God, again!", Angel complained. "To be a peaceful place, there's always someone hanging around the door".

"Yeah, since I've been at the hotel, I'm not used to hearing a door knock more than once a week", added the bartender.

"I'll go and see who it is", said Baggins, and immediately headed for the door.

"Who could it be at this hour?", Charlie asked the group.

"It could be Merry and Pippin coming over for a chat", Sam speculated as he took out his pipe.

"Well, whoever it is, I'm going to have another drink and see what this elven place is like", Angel Dust stated as he reached for the bottle.

"Oh no!", Vaggie replied before pulling the bottle toward her, "Nobody goes anywhere".

"Oh, come on Vags, that's not fair, you can get high with the elves and I don't?" asked the spider demon.

"We didn't know the side effects, but now that we know them, a drink every now and then is the maximum dose you can have", explained the gray-skinned girl.

"Er, excuse me", said Frodo, who had returned to the main hall, "Could you come in for a moment?".

"What's happening?", asked the princess.

"Better if you come and see for yourself", replied the halfling, and they all headed for the door, confused as to what Frodo meant.

The man before them was a hobbit, about five feet tall, of stocky build, though a little chubby, with a round face sporting a short, well-groomed beard, rosy cheeks, and dark eyes. His white hair was slicked back. He wore a green velvet jacket with brass buttons, dark green wool trousers, and leather braces.

The Hobbit in question was the mayor of the Shire, though his duties were mostly to organize parties and preside over banquets, which explained his size.

"Mr. Mayor", said Sam, "What brings you here?".

"Is that leprechaun the mayor?", Angel whispered to the others.

"More than anything, I'm surprised the Shire has a mayor", Pentious replied.

"Good evening, Mr. Baggins, Mr. Gamgee, and you travelers", began the mayor. "I have been informed that there are individuals in this house accused of theft and assault".

"What?!", the hotel crew exclaimed in unison, except Alastor and Niffty.

"Apparently Mr. Smallbarrow's hoe is missing, and rumors are that it was you", the mayor explained the situation.

"Hmm, a hoe says", mused Alastor, who was putting the pieces together.

"And let's hear it, who was the little bird that sang?", asked the spider demon, even though he already knew the answer.

At that point the mayor moved and she was seen, Lobelia Sackville, who had bandages on her arms, with some red spots.

"Tell me this is a nightmare", Vaggie moaned as she put her hands over her face.

"There he is! It's him! He struck me and wounded me like a wild ogre!", affirmed Mrs. Hobbit.

"What?!", Charlie jumped.

"Oh come on, do you really believe that one? You think I'd beat the shit out of an old lady? As much as she's an insufferable bitch", Angel replied, though he kept the last part to himself.

"Nah, even you have limits", Husk admitted.

"If it was a compliment, it came out very badly", Angel replied.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's not get too heated", began the mayor, wanting to maintain a diplomatic tone. "To resolve this issue, a debate is needed at the Green Dragon inn, where both sides will be heard and then a verdict will be reached", he decided.

"And when is this debate?" asked the snake.

"Now", replied Mayor Hobbit.

"Now?!", the demons said in unison again, and this time only the radio demon remained silent and smiled.

"Refusing to show up would only make your situation worse", affirmed the mayor.

"Okay, okay, let's go", Charlie said wearily, and they all headed to the inn to settle their dispute.

Meanwhile at the inn the situation was as usual, Hobbits that were drinking and who were talking about the latest events, but all these discussions were stopped when the mayor was seen entering with some Hobbits and the new arrivals in tow.

"Look, it's the mayor", a halfman said in a low voice at his companions.

"Why is it here?", asked a Hobbit woman.

"He'll be here for a nice mug like everyone else", one of the customers speculated.

"There are those foreigners too, they must have gotten into trouble", commented old Noakes.

"It was only a matter of time, I was never convinced by those guys", added Mr. Proudfoot.

"Ladies and gentlemen", the mayor said loudly to get everyone's attention, "I hereby announce that a debate will now take place. The individuals under consideration are Mrs. Lobelia and against the new arrivals. The charges are theft of agricultural tools and assault".

"Old Lobelia's trying again", Merry whispered to Pippin.

"A beer that turns out to be all made up", suggested Tuk.

"There's no point in betting on anything certain", joked Merry, since neither he nor his companion believed in the Sackvilles' antics in the slightest.

"Let the debate begin. ", mayor Hobbit announced.

"So…", began the servant.

"Oh, let me do the talking", Mrs. Sackville interjected.

"Hey! That's not fair! She can't speak for someone else!", Charlie observed, pointing her finger at Lobelia.

"He is my subordinate, so the theft affects me too", Mrs. Hobbit began. "And besides, the tool in question was granted to him by me, so that makes me the true owner of the stolen hoe, right?", she asked the mayor insolently, who took a deep breath before answering.

"Since the tool is granted by Lobelia to , it is possible for Mrs Sackville to speak, provided that her reconstruction of events is faithful to that of ", he affirmed.

"Perfect", said Lobelia, "Well, it was just after lunch time and just at that moment one of my subordinates arrives, Barnaby Smallburrow to inform me that his hoe is lost and I am told that strangely shaped strangers have been seen near my possessions and I immediately thought of them, given their un-Hobbit appearance. I arrived in front of Baggins' house to ask for an explanation, but the one who opened the door was that multi-armed being who immediately attacked me,seriously injuring me", concluded the old Hobbit, pointing to the bandages on which were the red stains.

Many were shocked by the sight of those red spots, but one of those present was calm, indeed, smiling.

Alastor, looking at those stains, noticed some similarities with another red substance he had seen in those days, which made him more suspicious than before.

"Barnaby Smallbarrow, do you confirm the version given by Mrs. Lobelia Sackville?", asked the mayor.

"Well…" Barnaby began again, then saw Lobelia's look and fear gripped him, "Y-Yes, that's how it went", the farmer confirmed, which made everyone present jump.

"Come on! You're not really falling for this!", the feline demon exclaimed. "He's a subordinate of Lobelia's. Do any of you really see a relationship of subservience that prevents him from speaking freely?", he asked the audience, who began to wonder about this aspect of the affair, which added to the terrible reputation Lobelia had in much of the Shire.

"Oh, do you really want to suspect an honest worker?", Lobelia accused all of being insensitive and untrustworthy.

"Coming from you, it sounds like a joke", commented Vaggie.

"This doesn't change things! The stolen goods must be returned with a nice compensation and the being with more arms should be exiled for a month in Bree", Lobelia said.

"Wait a minute, first we need to hear what the other interested parties have to say", said the mayor, then turned to the demons, "Well?".

"So", Angel began, since he was the one charged with both theft and assault, "We were at the Baggins house doing our chores. Then, just before afternoon tea, Lobelia knocked on the door, saying we had stolen some farm equipment, and then she started shouting at Barnaby, and I admit, that was when

I started pointing my finger at her and she backed away, and that's why she finally fell, and then walked away saying there would be consequences, that's it", the spider demon told his version of events.

"Then how do you explain these wounds? And the disappearance of the hoe?" asked the old hobbit.

"I can't explain those wounds because it wasn't me who provoked him and I don't know where that rusty hoe is!", replied the porn star, who was starting to get irritated.

"Ha! And how do you know that the hoe in question is rusty? Huh?", Lobelia pressed.

"What?" said the demon, realizing he had given too much detail, "Wait, it was Barnaby who said it was rusty…".

"Don't get Barnaby involved Smallbarrow!", Lobelia warned, not so much to defend him, but to make sure she didn't ruin everything.

"Stop!", the mayor exclaimed, restoring order. "Frodo, can you confirm that none of your guests or aides approached Lobelia's estate during lunchtime today?".

"Certainly, Mr. Mayor", said Frodo, "Everyone was in my house at lunch today, and in the hours since then no one has left Bag End. Or rather, almost everyone".

"What do you mean, almost everyone?", asked the mayor.

"Your Honor", Alastor interjected, "I admit I was away for a bit on a walk, but I was seen by a Hobbit on my way back to Bag End and he will confirm that I had no tools with me, namely Lotho Sackville".

"It's not possible! My son has been at home all day… er… washing the dishes", Lobelia tried to make up an excuse.

"Oh, and why don't we ask him directly?", the radio demon asked again, looking around.

"Er, he's not here… because… he had to finish cleaning up after dinner", the old Hobbit invented again.

"But look at the case", commented with a smile that was getting wider and wider.

Many Hobbits at the inn, hearing about Lotho cleaning the dishes, or doing something, became suspicious, since they knew Lotho, who was lazy and both he and his motherthey leftthat it was the servants, or rather the slaves, who did everything

"I bring evidence, they only suppositions", concluded Lobelia.

At that point the mayor began to reflect on the verdict to give.

At that point Alastor approached Frodo, who was anxious about the final verdict.

"I have a feeling this will not end well", admitted the Hobbit.

"For Lobelia sure", the demon added, which made the halfling turn toward him.

"What do you mean?", he asked.

"By any chance, I might have some evidence that would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lobelia is just telling lies", Alastor confessed.

"Really?! Which ones?", Frodo began to ask, wanting to know how the demon could solve the situation.

"Calm down, calm down. Normally I'd ask for a deal for favors, but since you've provided us with food and lodging and this situation looks like it's going to be a lot of fun, for this time I'll just ask you to buy me some time while I get the damning evidence", the radio demon informed.

"I'll see what I can do", said the Hobbit as he ran to the others to find a way to get more time, while Alastor, seeing that everyone they lent paying attention to the figure of the mayor, disappeared into a shadow, to take the evidence.

"Guys", the halfling called to the crew's attention, except for Angel, who was ahead of the others, "We need to buy time!".

"Why?", Niffty asked.

"Alastor told me he has evidence, but it will take time to get it," Frodo explained.

"What do you mean, 'to get them'? Where did he go?!", asked Vaggie, looking around for Alastor, but he was nowhere to be found. "Don't say he left us here!".

"Darling, given the situation, we have to trust and for that we have to buy time", said the princess of Hell.

"But how are we going to do it?! The verdict will be given any minute," Pentious reminded everyone.

At that moment, Charlie had an idea.

"Seeing the situation, I declare…", the mayor began.

"Wait!" Charlie exclaimed, stopping everything and drawing attention to herself.

"Honey, what are you doing?", her girlfriend asked.

"Don't worry Vaggie, I have a plan", she reassured the princess of Hell.

"Please darling, don't…", the white-haired girl couldn't finish her sentence before Charlie immediately started singing.

"Oh, listen close, my friends so dear,

A tale of strangers I'll sing clear"

"…start singing", Vaggie concluded.

"We're screwed", thought Angel Dust, hearing the first few lines sung by the princess.

"They came with hearts both wild and true,

To work and laugh and lend a hand to you".

Charlie began, and here all the Hobbits, given their liking for music and singing in general, they started paying attention to the words the princess was speaking.

"They're not perfect—no, that's plain,

But who among you's free of stain?

They've toiled and sweated, bled, and cried,

For this land that's not always with them has been wide!"

The princess continued and here many halflings and halfwomen had to admit that, although the initial approaches between them and the new arrivals were suspicious, sometimes downright hostile, those travellers always proved to be good people overall, or at least beings not deserving of so much suspicion.

"Oh, the Shire is wide, the Shire is home,

For those with hearts and hands to roam!

Don't judge too quick, don't turn away,

For you've all needed grace some day!"

"It sounds like a Hobbit nursery rhyme", commented Pippin.

"But it sounded as if an Elf were singing it", added Merry, who, like the others, was being enchanted by Charlie's voice.

"I've seen souls waiting in the dark,

Fighting for a spark, a chance to start.

Though the road was rough, the climb was steep,

They didn't stop believing in light to keep

So here we stand, among you now,

To show you who we truly are, and how!

We're not monsters, a little strange, but not cruel,

Just different folks with hearts as full!"

"Do you really want to listen to that foreigner!", Lobelia shouted, trying to raise her voice as high as possible to speak over Charlie.

"Oh, the Shire is wide, the Shire is home,

For those with hearts and hands to roam!

Don't judge too quick, don't turn away,

For you've all needed grace some day!"

Charlie began his refrain again, and here a few Hobbits, mostly young ones, joined in the singing.

"Remember Bilbo's grandest feast,

When tables groaned with food increased?

We helped to bake, we helped to cheer,

We made that night the best of the year!

The lanterns glowed, the music played,

And not a single Hobbit went unpaid.

So why now doubt what you once knew?

That we're the ones who worked for you?"

The Princess of Hell sang as she pointed to Bilbo's portrait in the inn, and even then the Hobbits present had to admit that she was right.

"Well, it's true, they helped with the party, in some way", admitted Mrs. Cotton, who could hear Charlie's words even from the kitchen.

"This proves nothing!", Lobelia kept yelling.

"Oh, Lobelia, with your eyes so cold,

Why must you see us as foes, not gold?

I've seen the lost, the hurt, the scared,

Who only want to be understood and spared.

We're not so different you and I,

Both need a chance to live and try.

So let this hatred fade away,

And give us hope for a brighter day".

Charlie intoned, his voice soft, expressing sadness for Sackville, but also hope for change.

During the singing the princess tried to approach the Hobbit Lady to shake her hand, but Lobelia immediately recoiled indignantly.

"Oh, don't you dare touch me!", she cried.

Everyone in the inn was surprised that this stranger, after all that Lobelia had done against her and her group, still wanted to give Mrs. Sackville a chance.

"I'm dreaming or she really forgiving Lobelia Sackville?!", said a Hobbit upon seeing that scene.

"I don't know, old man. I don't know what to believe anymore", added another halfman.

"Oh, the Shire is wide, the Shire is home,

For those with hearts and hands to roam!

Don't judge too quick, don't turn away,

For you've all needed grace some day!"

Almost the entire inn started singing the chorus, except for Lobelia of course, and when the song ended, a long round of applause broke out from some of the patrons.

"Stop applauding her!", Sackville shouted. "Mr. Mayor, give your verdict!", she ordered the mayor, who was applauding with the others for the performance.

"Oh yeah, given the situation…".

"Wait a little longer, Your Honor," Alastor's voice came from the entrance to the inn, where the radio demon stood.

"Alastor!", Charlie cheered, seeing the radio demon, who she had been told had the evidence to solve the situation.

"Nosy again!", complained the old Hobbit.

"Sweet as always", commented Alastor, "Anyway, I'm letting you know that I have proof here that Lobelia is just making up fairy tales and nothing more".

"Really?", asked the mayor.

"Certainly", he said, and from one pocket he took out some cherries and from another a handkerchief of silk, "Here is the damning proof", he continued, shaking his hand, mashing the fruit into a pulp, and then distributing some of it on one side of the handkerchief. "Now, dear Frodo, would you be so kind as to give me a hand?", he asked.

Frodo, hearing this and remembering Vaggie's warning of not shaking hands with the radio demon, he was a little hesitant.

"Don't worry, as I said before, it's not my intention to make any deals right now", Alastor reassured.

"How…", the halfling began.

"I understand what you were thinking," the demon finished the Hobbit's sentence. "My dear, I know the reputation I carry. Now if you would be so kind", he replied.

Seeing the situation, the halfling decided to reach out and Alastor, with his claws, made a small cut on Frodo's finger and allowed the blood to drip onto a clean part of the handkerchief.

"Now, as you can see, here is some cherry pulp and some real Hobbit blood, and look carefully which one resembles the stains on Lobelia's bandages", said the red-robed demon as he held the handkerchief up to the bandages, so that the people around could make a comparison, and everyone noticed that the stains on the bandages were not made of blood, but of cherry jam.

"It's not blood, it's jam!", exclaimed a Hobbit woman.

"And I'm willing to bet he has no injuries under those bandages", Alastor stated without a doubt.

"Hmm", began the mayor, who was already beginning to get suspicious, "Lobelia, try taking off those bandages".

"You really don't want to give credence to that guy's words!", Mrs. Sackville replied indignantly.

"Lobelia, refuse to do it will be like giving them reason a priori", said the mayor

"I will not bend to the will of those stra-", Lobelia suddenly felt someone take her arms.

That someone was Merry and Pippin, who with a snap, took off Lobelia's bandages, revealing that there was nothing there, which didn't flinch only those who still believed she wasn't faking it.

"Well… that doesn't change the fact that they're still accused of stealing the hoe", the old Hobbit tried to draw attention to something else.

"Oh, you mean that hoe", the radio demon interjected, pointing with his stick and everyone turned to where he was pointing.

At that point they saw a Lotho completely paralyzed with fear, as if he had looked death in the face, but the thing that amazed everyone was that he was holding the aforementioned rusty hoe in his arms.

"The hoe!", exclaimed Barnaby Smallburrow, indicating the tool.

"Silence!", began Mrs. Sackville, turning to her servant. "Lotho!", cried Lobelia, but with anger rather than concern, for she knew this was only making her situation worse. "Er, well… it might be that these strangers stole the hoe and then gave it to Lotho to cover their tracks", she tried to invent.

"Well, let's try asking him directly", Alastor suggested as he approached Lobelia's son.

"Tell me, my dear Lotho, where did you find this hoe?", asked the demon of the Hobbit.

"I found it in the field where Barnaby Smallborrow works, where I stole it and brought it to my house", Lotho confessed, with an apathetic voice, as if fear had emptied him, however the thing that had the greatest impact on the public was the confession made by Lobelia's son.

"Your Honor, I'm finished", the radio demon concluded.

At that point the mayor had no more doubts.

"In light of the new evidence, the new arrivals are cleared of all charges", started the mayor.

"Hurray!", everyone cheered, except Alastor, who simply smiled with satisfaction.

"Fuck yeah!" Charlie exclaimed, then covered her mouth. "Sorry", she said, then let out a quick laugh.

"And as for Lobelia, for having falsely accused individuals of theft and battery, her sentence is to buy a beer for everyone present, including newcomers. The debate is concluded!", affirmed the mayor Hobbit.

Even though Barnaby was also guilty of perjury, the mayor thought that being Lobelia's servant was punishment enough.

Upon hearing the verdict, many halflings and halfwomen rejoiced, because a free beer was never refused in the Shire.

After a few moments the old Hobbit began to growl.

"It's your fault!", she shouted, then approached her servant.

Barnaby was already prepared for a well placed blow to the head, but it never came. When the hobbit opened his eyes again, he saw that someone had blocked his mistress's arm.

That someone was Angel.

"Go ahead, try it, if you dare", the porn star challenged Lobelia, who for once decided to give up and leave the inn, taking her still-stunned son Lotho with her.

"Why?", was the only word Barnaby could say.

"Enjoy the moment while it lasts", the spider demon replied simply, echoing Frodo's speech from that afternoon.

"Wait, Lobelia", Charlie tried to call, since she was sincere about giving Mrs. Sackville another chance, but she had already walked out the door and had no intention of going back.

"Honey", Vaggie said, "It's not time yet."

"You're right", the princess reluctantly admitted.

"Well, there's no point in him leaving, tomorrow I'll go personally to ask for the bill", affirmed the mayor.

"So, what do we do now?", the snake asked the rest of the group.

"Well, while we're at it, let's enjoy the party!", Angel Dust suggested, which was accepted by the rest of the group, except Alastor, who dematerialized again.

Meanwhile the two Sackvilles were returning home, with Lobelia taking it out on her son.

"You only had to do one thing! Hide that hoe! Was I asking too much of your goblin brain?!", Lobelia continued with her shouts, with Lotho not responding to any of her sentences.

When the two reached the door, a voice began to speak to them.

"I hope this is the final lesson", said Alastor, who had suddenly appeared behind them, "You don't mess with the radio demon", the demon stated as he revealed his full demonic form, with his body growing in size and his horns fully developed, eyes that looked like the buttons on a radio, a smile that touched both sides of his face, and several shadowy tentacles coming out of his body that went to wrap themselves around the two Hobbits.

Lobelia struggled to free herself, while Lotho continued to remain unresponsive.

After sufficiently terrorizing the two, Alastor reverted to his normal form.

"Well, I can only wish you good night", he said as he walked away. "Ah, and one last thing, I've heard that there's a common custom among Hobbits of having a late-night snack. Pray I don't decide to try it too", he concluded, then left the two Sackvilles alone, with Lobelia immediately going into the house, closing the door behind her, only to remember Lotho and drag him inside too, slamming the door, which startled a nearby crow, which immediately took flight.