Chapter Text
For the last few days, Asmodeus had found himself being avoided by his staff at the club, and he couldn't blame them. After all, who would want to be around a fifteen-foot-tall demon with three scowls on his faces? For all they knew, he might turn and snap at them like he had his secretary the day before because she had been late with some unimportant document. He apologized a few hours after he had calmed down, but it didn't change the fact that everyone had witnessed the poor succubus fleeing his office in tears after he had roared at her.
But who could blame him for being disgruntled? It had only been four days since the trial over the horse had ended, and Ozzie had been thrilled to hear it, as it finally meant everyone could move on from the whole mess. Or at least that was what he thought would have happened. Instead, he had found the staff at the manor Lucifer, Leviathan and Mammon had borrowed all needed paid trauma leave, the place was a literal bloody mess which was going to take days to clean, his two fellow Sins were bitching louder then ever over neither getting the psychotic horse, and a standard 'Thanks for the food' message from Leviathan and Mammon along with a package of questionable calamari that Asmodeus still wasn't sure what to do with or make of. And in Ozzie's opinion, this was all far from fair. He had been accommodating to them all after all, and now felt like they had hosted a party in his realm, expecting him to clean after them.
And as for the King... Oz hadn't heard so much as a whisper from him.
Now he knew something had happened on the last day of the trial, but what exactly had happened was still a bit of a mystery to him. He knew Leviathan was angry, and it seemed to involve more than just the dead stallion, and Mammon was slightly nervous but trying to hide it by sulking. And as for Beelzebub... well, his dear sister-from-another-mister was being strangely tight-lipped regarding Lucifer, it had to mean whatever went down had been serious.
At first, Asmodeus had tried to reason that it didn't involve him. That if he tried to figure out anything about the matter, he would only be inviting stress and drama into his life, which he didn't want. He wasn't about to become bosom buddies with Leviathan to find out what happened. And a childhood with Mam had taught him that if he tried to ask him what happened, it would be likely that seventy percent of whatever word vomit the spider would produce was either exaggerated or fictitious at best.
However, Asmodeus couldn't ignore the whole matter either, as he seemed to be constantly surrounded by whispered gossip or whiny calls. So then he had hoped that Lucifer would contact him soon with some form of explanation as to what the frick had gone down on the faithful day.
… only to get silence. But that was fine. He didn't care about what had happened; why would he? It didn't matter in the least at all, and he was perfectly fine. He didn't care!
Except he did care.
'Fuck this shit!' Ozzie finally growled as he practically slammed his pen down into its well, shoving the document in front of him to the side. He had been trying to read it for the last two hours, and so far, he couldn't even remember what the ever-loving hell it was about because he was so damn distracted.
After leaving a quick note for his staff to know he was out, Asmodeus flicked his fingers to create a portal over at the Morningstar's manor.
As he stepped through the portal, Oz couldn't help but be a little impressed with how quickly Lucifer had managed to repair the carnage from his and Lilith's fight. Back then, the embodiment of Lust had been certain the building would forever carry the scars of their tantrum since walls had been destroyed, furniture burned, and countless holes blasted into the ground. But the only evidence of the fight having happened was the memories the hole incident had left behind, as well as a patch of dirt that refused to allow anything to grow in it after Satan's corrosive blood had poisoned it. He figured it had to be the advantage of being a Fallen Angel, having the powers to create whatever suited his fancy, probably made rebuilding the manor as simple as snapping his fingers.
Well, except for apparently Satan's blood that is.
Giving himself a minute to compose himself, Asmodeus readied himself to enter the manor, head held high and ready to demand answers. He wasn't going to let Lucifer gaslight him into thinking it wasn't important, nor pass off some silly lie as a poor excuse for the truth. He wasn't a fledgling anymore after all that could be fooled into believing something silly like the sounds he heard through a locked door were just Lilith practicing her vocals.
Just like he wasn't going to admit he was damn near an adult before the truth dawned on him, but that was besides the point.
No, Asmodeus was ready to demand the proper respect as both a Sin and a found brother that the King of Hell tell him the truth as to what was going on. It was the least Lucifer could do after all. Once he was certain he looked 'official' enough, Oz pushed open the double doors and entered the manor without any problems. He was one of the few who didn't need an invite into the King and Queen's house, especially after Charlotte was born. Back when Lucifer had first given them each their own rings to rule, Ozzie had often felt overwhelmed by the emotions and unrestrained perverted lust the mortals had that seeped into his ring. He was still learning how to filter the emotions of the mortals and Sinners, along with figuring out what he wanted to do exactly with his little kingdom, barely being an adult himself. So, panic-stricken and frightened, Asmodeus would return to the home he had grown up in and seek the comfort of his sudo-brother and guidance.
Not that it had been easy for Lucifer to help him. Even if Hell had existed for some time then, Lucifer and Lilith often felt they were stumbling about themselves trying to work out all the little kinks. Often, tiny but costly mistakes were made, like the case with the Orcadian horsemen or allowing beings with nefarious intentions in whom he should have turned away. Normally, though, those problems were handled by the other Sins and Oz, each using their abilities and skills to rectify the problems, but it didn't stop the angel from blaming himself for his shortcomings.
When he had been a child, Ozzie had once asked Lilith why Lucifer was so sad, and she had explained that Lucifer just 'felt the weight of Hell on his shoulders'. He hadn't understood what she meant back then. Now he did, and while it was also his right to turn a blind eye to it and make it all some Au Goetic royal's problem, Asmodeus found he preferred to be as involved as much as possible when it came to matters involving love and lust, refusing to allow anyone his ring to bastardize what he deemed 'proper lust'.
But for now, his focus was more on getting answers rather than reminiscing on the past.
Pushing open the doors to the manor, Ozzie was ready for anything. He was fully prepared to come face to face with some flustered imp scrambling to announce his arrival so that he could meet Lucifer with an imposing stance and disgruntled look. He was ready to make demands, to get answers, whether the King wanted to give them or not.
What he wasn't ready for was nearly being run over by a horde of frantic imps who completely ignored his entrance, an impressive feat given his fifteen-foot height. Instead, they all seemed to be frantically searching about the manor, looking under chairs, tables, and bookshelves, chittering away in their own language in what Ozzie could only assume was a panic. He was about to ask what was going on when a gush of wind above him nearly blinded him with dust while Lucifer allowed himself to drop to the floor, his boots clicking.
“Have you found her?” He asked a nearby imp, his voice strained with worry as the imp shook his head. “Keep looking. She's got to be here somewhere.”
Asmodeus felt all six of his eyes slowly blink in confusion as Lucifer seemed to dash about the room, his tiny body practically vibrating with anxiety while the staff frantically ran around. He was just about to tap the King on the shoulder when he felt a rather invasive hand ruffle through his tail feathers. Twisting around, Ozzie had to fight the yellowish blush threatening to ignite beneath his skin as he roughly grabbed the imp who had been digging through his rooster tail, something that was extremely personal for him.
“Excuse you? What in the name of Satan's realm do you think you're doing?” Asmodeus demanded with a low growl.
“No, there,” the Imp struggled in his hold as he called to his fellow staff members. It was as if the silly creature hadn't even realized what he was doing. “Has anyone checked the kitchen?”
“Yes. No... maybe?” A female imp stuttered as she seemed torn between heading towards one of the sitting rooms or the kitchen before looking up at the stairs. “Wait, can she climb the steps yet?”
“Someone check upstairs-”
“What the hell is going on here?!”
Raising his voice just loud enough to be considered a polite shout, everyone in the entry hall froze and finally looked at the Lord of Lust. A few of the imps looked utterly baffled as to where he had appeared from, while a couple of others looked torn between returning to their frantic search and giving him the proper greeting he deserved. Whatever they were going to do, Ozzie would probably never know, as suddenly he found his view thoroughly blocked by Lucifer's panic-stricken face.
“Oz! Great, you're here! I need your help.” Without giving Asmodeus so much as a second's chance to answer, Lucifer had grabbed the embodiment of Lust's hand and yanked him down a nearby hallway. “Charlie's missing.”
Even if he had experienced and seen it thousands of times before,
it always surprised Ozzie at how deceptively strong the King was. He could even remember when he, Mam, and Be had their growth spurts as teenagers and just gotten a little too full of themselves. Back then, they had all gone a little wild, giving in to their desires and being absolute little hellions towards everyone they could be, no puns intended. They had gotten away with it for a while too, until they all had disrespected Lilith too much. The beat and dress down the King had given afterwards had been the stuff of legends and nightmares.
Hell, Ozzie could still feel all three of his face flinch when Lucifer would give him that special 'smile', the kind that just silently said 'oh please. Go on. Dig that hole a little deeper.'.
Needless to say that pissing Lucifer off was a once in a life time experience that none of them wanted to repeat. It was better to piss Satan any day.
“What do you mean 'Charlie's missing'?” Ozzie asked as soon as his brain finally managed to register what Lucifer had been saying. “Whadda yah mean, 'missing'? Did our little Chickadee crawl off somewhere while you weren't looking?”
“Well... yes... and no,” Lucifer answered with a flustered breath. Clearly, the idea of not knowing where his little girl had disappeared off to was stressing him to no end; the worried father's eyes were constantly darting about the hallways as he pulled Asmodeus along. “It's... well... let's just say, some things have changed since last and we're errr... still figuring things out.”
Raising an unimpressed eyebrow at his king, Oz had a strong inkling that there was more to the story than Lucifer was letting on, but that he wouldn't get any answers while the poor man was panicking.
Not that he could blame the angel for worrying.
Even after having babysat his niece a dozen times with Bee, Oz had to admit Charlie had an amazing ability to scuttle off the moment no one was watching her and squeeze herself into some impossible hidey hole that took hours to discover. Ozzie had even lost count of the number of times he had found the baby girl squished into some tiny space behind a bookshelf or under a piece of furniture, only for his little Chickadee to look at him adoringly with a cheeky grin that screamed 'mischief in the making'.
“Having you check behind the bookshelves?” Asmodeus sighed, accepting that his questions would have to wait until this new crisis was over. And to be fair, Oz was okay with waiting a little longer if it meant they were certain that Charlie was safe and sound. “She tends to hide behind them.”
Lucifer paused for a moment, a look of sheepish horror slowly growing on his face.
Truth be told, Lucifer had forgotten completely about Charlie's affinity for crawling in between the tiny spaces between the walls and shelves. Thanks to Mrs. Waltz, he had gotten used to the idea of being able to solely focus on his little ducky of chaos and not worry about the looming pile of papers that sat glaring on his desk, so he had forgotten some of her little habits. It just showed how effective the Nanny was with her job of watching out for and caring for the baby while his attention had to be elsewhere.
And it made him reluctantly hope that the Sinner would heal soon from her injuries and return.
That is, if she still wanted the job.
“I... didn't think of that,” Lucifer gave a small nervous laugh before darting down the hallways. “You check the ones on the left, and I'll check the ones on the right. Yell if you find her!”
Asmodeus mentally groaned as he watched the king disappear once more, nearly knocking over a few imps along the way. As wise and old as Lucifer was, the Fallen Angel could be just as easily forgetful, especially when he would start to panic. Strangely, it was sort of comforting to know that despite the centuries that had passed, something never seemed to change, as he had been practically the same when he, Beelzebub, and Mammon had been foundlings. The number of times one or more of them had caused the King to panic because they had snuck off was probably in the thousands, and he had been just as worried then.
Though Oz doubted that Lucifer would scold Charlie for wandering off just yet, like he had them. The trio of found-siblings had been old enough to know what they were doing had been naughty after all, as for Charlie, it was probably just another funny game like peek-a-boo.
'Well, best see if we can find our little Chickadee, huh?' Oz thought to himself as he calmly walked down the hallway, peeking into the rooms one by one. With any luck, he was positive a certain someone would give herself away with a cheeky little giggle.
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
Charlie sleepily blinked her eyes, only to be met with the soft red and yellow print of an apple cut in half. For a moment, she was confused, wondering why she was looking up close at the blanket when she slowly remembered what had happened.
The day had started as it usually did, with Mommy and Daddy waking her up with gently cooing calls and nuzzling kisses. She had giggled like mad when Mommy had tickled her sides, and Daddy had nervously laughed as she played keep away with Daddy when he tried to put her dress on. She had thought that soon after, Ms. Tabby and Doggyman would appear too, like normal, with Doggyman teasing Ms. Tabby until her face turned a little red. Charlie still wasn't sure what they were talking about, but they kind of reminded her of how Mommy sometimes would make Daddy flush gold when they thought she wasn't looking.
But as Daddy fed her breakfast and Mommy fawned over her, constantly repeating 'Mama', neither her nanny nor the funny dog man appeared. It had been a little confusing, but Daddy did his best to make up for it with a new game of trying to get her to say another word. And Charlie knew this game all too well.
It was a fun game, and the rules, as she understood them at least, were simple. Whatever the other person wanted her to repeat had to be refused. It had apparently been Mrs. Tabby's favorite game next to 'Don't touch the ground' as it would make Doggyman laugh a lot, but with Daddy, it was just funnier somehow. Maybe it was the way he kept repeating the same sound again and again, only to make funny faces and groans when she would trick him by nearly repeating it, only to yell out 'Mama' with a giggle.
After Daddy finally gave up on the game and all the food was gone, she and Daddy had waved Mommy goodbye before finding a new game to play. The first had been 'Catch Daddy, ' which was a lot like 'Chase Me, Catch Me,' but instead of Daddy chasing her, she chased Daddy. It had been a fun game, though a little hard, as she was still working on keeping her balanced, and the glossy marble floors weren't exactly hoof friendly. It had been frustrating at first because her legs kept slipping all over the place, and she fell on her butt more times than she could count, which wasn't saying much since she couldn't count at all, but when Charlie noticed how Daddy would laugh and coo at her, Charlie decided it was fine.
Daddy had a nice laugh after all.
After a while, though, Daddy had gotten a call from someone, and that had given her the chance she needed for a lovely game of hide and seek. That was her favorite game after all, something that she loved to play with everyone, including her Uncles and Aunts, when she had the chance. Some of them were really good at it, too, like Aunt Bel. She could get into her hiding spots just like Daddy could, while others, like Uncle Mam, made funny faces trying to squeeze in with her.
But for some reason, this time, Daddy was taking a lot longer to find her.
Normally, Charlie only had to wait a little while before his magic would wrap around her and pull her back to his grinning face. But now it seemed like he was taking forever and growing finally bored of waiting, Charlie slipped out of her hiding spot and made her way under her blanket on the floor. She had waited a little while there again for Daddy to find her, but with the soft, familiar warmth of the blanket surrounding her, it hadn't taken long for Charlie to drift off into sleep.
And while Charlie hated nap time because it meant she was missing out on things, she let out a tiny growl of irritation as something woke her up.
“Chickadee? Where are you, sug?”
Charlie let out a tiny coo of curiosity as she inched her way out from under the blanket. She was fairly certain she knew that voice despite the blanket muffling it. Peeking carefully out from under her little cloth-made cave, Charlie beamed when she saw Uncle Ozzie's back as he peeked behind the bookshelves. Uncle Ozzie was always fun to play with, especially because his many faces always looked funny when he was looking for her during hide-and-seek. She watched him for a minute more as he slowly walked about the room, looking at the strange pictures Daddy had drawn while he kept trying to get her to repeat after him.
That and stop her from decorating the room with his pretty colors that he kept refusing to share with her! Honestly, hadn't he heard both Ms. Tabby and Mommy talk about how 'sharing is nice'? Maybe Mommy needed to explain it to him.
But just as Charlie was thinking about getting Daddy to share his sparkly paint, Charlie noticed one of Uncle Ozzie's faces turning to catch a glimpse of her, its shadow-like silhouette breaking out into a smile before head-butting Ozzie's main head for attention. As quickly as only a sneaky, mischievous baby could move, Chalrie quickly hid under the blankets and cloth, barely keeping her giggle at bay.
Maybe she would get to play her game of hide-and-seek after all.
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
It hadn't taken Ozzie more than a second to determine that the current sitting room he was in was where Lucifer and Charlie had spent most of the day together. The usually tidy room was covered in an array of colorful toys of all sorts of shapes and sizes, and more blankets than he cared to count. The brightly polished coffee table that Lilith would keep sparsely decorated with maybe a book or a small vase of flowers had been invaded with several tall towers of official-looking documents and ink wells scattered haphazardly on it, a clear sign that Lucifer was trying once again to balance his work with taking care of Charlie.
If Ozzie were to guess from the amount of small hand prints in gold ink that decorated the table's surface, Lucifer was having about as much success with that as a in-denial sex fiend had going cold, abstinent in a burlesque club.
'But at least he's trying.' Ozzie thought as he noticed a few scattered pages spread out in an arch on the ground. To the unknowing eye, it looked like the paper had several random doodles on it, making up several strange shapes, but for Asmodeus, it was clear Lucifer was trying to share with Charlie some of her ancestry. He could recall how Lucifer had done the same for them in their youth, though it was with very little success. Mammon simply lacked the motivation to learn his letters unless under threat and only actually put in the work when Belphagor and Satan teamed up and tricked him into signing a bad contract that had him doing double chores for five months. The amount of complaining and bitching Mammon had done during that time had been legendary, though it did motivate Mammon to actually learn the three R's, even if it was only to be able to create bullshit contracts for his own personal gain.
Bee hadn't fared much better with the ancient language, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. It was just her nature to get distracted or just flat out forget what Lucifer had explained. And as for Oz... well, he had been so emotional as a child, he would get upset when he couldn't figure the letters out, that Lucifer had backed off in fear, the poor thing would break.
In the end, Lucifer had just accepted that the Celestial language was just limited to seraphims only, though he was happy that he managed to teach them to recognize the most important ones: ceem, pethflal, hwul, and sclen. Not that Ozzie could remember what the words meant exactly.
But from what he could remember of Lucifer's lessons, if they ever saw any of those symbols forming near them, it was a sign to run.
A sudden nudge against his right side as his bull's head tried to get his attention. Curious, Asmodeus turned to look towards where it was indicating and noticed the small pile of blankets and clothes that seemed to be moving ever so slightly. Grinning, Oz smirked at his two faces before walking slowly towards the suspiciously giggling pile of clothing.
'Thank Satan, Charlie still hasn't figured out her giggles give her away,' Ozzie thought as he pretended to be blissfully ignorant of where she could be. “Oh, where, oh where could my sweet little niece have disappeared to?”
Another series of giggles escaped from beneath the cloth mountain as it shifted lightly around. For a moment, Ozzie thought that she would try and 'sneak' away, but it seemed like Charlie was perfectly content in her little hiding spot. Taking a few slow steps, Ozzie pretended that he was still looking for her, dramatically looking under the coffee table with a loud 'Aha!' followed by a 'Huh?'. He kept the act up two more times before a flurry of wings and feathers made him turn to look towards the doorway at a baffled Fallen Angel.
“Oz, what are you doing?” Still looking panic-stricken, Lucifer stared in disbelief at his friend, who apparently was looking under a throw pillow that clearly couldn't hide Charlie from sight. Though from Lucifer's perspective, it looked more like Asmodeus was trying to clean up the room than look for his little lost duckling. “We need to-”
No sooner had he started to scold the embodiment of lust, when Oz silently lifted a finger to his lips with a small smirk and pointed towards Lucifer's discarded coat. Lucifer stared at him in confusion while Ozzie nonchalantly walked up to the pile, pretending to give it no heed.
“Now now, Lulu, I know we need to find your little princess,” Ozzie crooned in a sing-song voice, a finger discreetly pointing towards the 'innocent pile' with an all-knowing smirk. “But you know, I just have no idea where that little sweet she-devil could be.-”
Lucifer gave the Lord of Lust a baffled look when he heard it. It was soft and muffled, but even then, Lucifer could recognize that musical giggle anywhere. Peeking at his crumbled cloak, Lucifer watched as a pair of curious sparkling eyes peeked from a small opening, the scarlet orbs firmly following Asmodeus as he continued his farce of ignorance. Then their gaze switched slowly over to him before comically widening with surprise and merriment before disappearing into the white fabric folds with a tiny squeal.
“Maybe she's over... HERE!”
Barely wasting a second more, Ozzie spun on his heels with unnerving ease and swooped his arms underneath the coat. He felt about for a second until his fingers connected with Charlie's side, wiggling like worms against it. Without fail, Charlie let out an ear-piercing shriek of laughter as she writhed in his hold. Once Ozzie was sure that he wasn't about to be tackled by an overly anxious angel, Charlie was quickly moved to the cradle of Ozzie's arm as he continued the onslaught. It was only when he was sure she was running out of breath that Ozzie stopped.
“Naughty little thing,” He lightly scolded, the little princess panting to catch her breath. “You aren't scared, your daddy, disappearing like that? Are you gonna stop doing that?”
Charlie just gave him a toothy grin, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she firmly grasped his fingers to stop him from tickling her again.
“Yeah, didn't think so either.”
Ozzie sighed as he moved so that Lucifer could either take her or check her over. Even if he wasn't fully hovering around him, Asmodeus could practically feel the golden eyes drilling into his chest with worry. But before Lucifer could give her a once-over, Charlie started to wiggle about in his hold, her tiny arms reaching for the ground.
“Oh, gonna crawl to Daddy to protect you from 'mean old Uncle Oz', are we?” Ignoring the disappointed looks, Asmodeus set his niece down on the floor, expecting her to scuttle her way over to Lucifer like usual. “Never mind you were-”
Oz blinked as Charlie used his pant leg to unsteadily rise to her feet, her face scrunching in deep concentration. Then, with a look of determination, Charlie placed one cloven hoof in front of the other and, slowly, made her way towards Lucifer with small, wobbly steps. Oz stared in shock as he watched her make it about halfway towards the King, who now knelt, ready to embrace her when needed, when Charlie suddenly lost her balance and dropped to the floor on her rear with a loud 'plop!'.
“Oh, up we get,” Lucifer gently cheered her on, a soft smile on his face encouraging her to try again. “That's it, you're alright, Starfire.”
“She... can walk?” Ozzie gaped openly as he watched his niece struggle like a newborn fawn on ice to stand up again, but eventually she managed to get her legs to stop wobbling long enough for her to continue. “When did this happen?”
“It's a... recent development,” Lucifer answered with a sigh while Charlie giggled madly in his arms. “And believe me, it comes with its own new set of problems?”
“Oh? And what might those be?”
“She can reach things now.... things I really wish she couldn't.” Lucifer gave a weak smile, recalling how Charlie had managed to 'borrow' Mommy's favorite lipstick when neither of them was looking. It had taken the maids two hours scrubbing the walls before accepting that only a new layer of paint would remove the stain from the wall.
Oz just chuckled as Charlie firmly patted her father's face before pulling him into a loud kiss with a giggle. He was about to ask Lucifer to elaborate on what he meant when they both heard a distinct growl coming from Charlie's stomach as he looked curiously at it.
“'Well, Charlie, that's what happens when you disappear on daddy right before lunch time,” Lucifer cooed at her as she gave him a confused, if not accusing look, regarding her stomach's displeasure. “Let's see what our dear Ms. Waltz left you for lunch, hm?”
Following the father and daughter pair with curiosity, Oz watched Charlie peering wide-eyed at him with her fist in her mouth, giggling every once in a while. It wasn't too surprising, though, as his two other faces were competing with each other over which of them could win Charlie's attention first and win a smile. Which was silly, of course, because his main face had already won that contest long ago.
The walk to the kitchen was brisk, and Ozzie found himself easily leaning against the door frame as Lucifer stood before the fancy ice box he had conjured centuries ago so that Lilith could enjoy a cool glass of water whenever she wanted it.
“Let's see what Ms. Waltz left for us, huh?” Lucifer chatted away to Charlie. At the mention of her nanny's name, Charlie perked instantly and looked about the room, hoping to spot the Sinner she had grown so used to, only to whine when she saw she wasn't there. “Oh, don't worry, Char Char. Ms. Waltz will be back as soon as she's gotten a bit better... now let's see...”
Lucifer seemed to be scanning the ice box for what felt like forever before he let out a tiny groan of disappointment.
“Nothing, really?” He almost sounded offended as he shifted Charlie about in his arms. “There's nothing in here. I thought the kitchen staff said she had prepped some food for Charlie beforehand. Oh well. Daddy will just have to make his famous pancakes for you, won't he?”
Asmodeus blinked.
'That doesn't make sense.' He thought as he walked, Lucifer tried to balance four eggs on top of a milk jug like some sort of circus act.
While he didn't know Tabitha Waltz personally, he had heard plenty from Bee and Flare when the guy visited his club. Despite her somewhat questionable diet choices and reasons for being cast down to Hell, Flare had shared that the woman was, if anything, extremely professional when it came to Charlie. She was nurturing without overstepping and put Charlie's well-being first at all times. Hell Flare had complained how the woman spent one night meal prepping for Charlie for the week, arguing that this way she could avoid a hangry tantrum.
So for there not to be anything for Charlie to eat seemed highly unlikely.
“You see, there isn't anything for-” Curious, Asmodeus walked calmly over to the ice box and opened it, crouching down slightly to peer into its maw. “Really, Lulu? Nothing, huh?”
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
Lucifer was absolutely under, no circumstances pretending not to hear Ozzie nor look at his mocking, deadpan glare as he peered into the 'empty' ice box. That was a silly idea. After all, everyone knew that cracking a pair of eggs into a bowl demanded one's full attention, even if he was using magic.
Besides, Lucifer was absolutely right that there wasn't anything in there for Charlie.
Not as far as he was concerned, anyway.
The truth was, he knew that as Ozzie peered into the ice box, the rooster sin was looked at as possibly the most organized ice box in the history of Hell that anyone had ever seen. Tabitha had really done an amazing job meal prepping for Charlie, having made several mason jars placed neatly in the fridge, all marked with little handwritten labels to identify them, but clearly from reading them, Lucifer knew she was wrong about Charlie's dietary needs.
Mashed sweet potatoes, stewed peas, steamed parsley, and... pap? Lucifer had stared at that one that morning, studying the jar of gray goo as if it would share the secrets of the universe. The stuff looked like one of Leviathan's failed cooking experiments, and the fact that this... stuff just stayed as a solid congealed form in the jar when he turned it upside down, Lucifer wasn't sure if it really was food or Spackle for wall cracks. That and he had tasted it and it had a flavor up unfavored dough, Lucifer was certain licking the kitchen window would be more interesting.
Yup, there was nothing pre-made and edible in the ice box, and no one was going to convince him otherwise.
“Lulu, you sure it's a good idea to load Chickdee up on sugar?” Oz lightly questioned behind him, watching as Lucifer jugged holding Charlie while making the batter. “Didn't Lils and Bel say it was important for her to get healthy stuff?”
“Hey, sugar is healthy too.” Lucifer looked undignified before wincing as Charlie's tiny fingers suddenly grabbed a hold of the soft skin of his neck. For as tiny a little girl as she was, Lucifer had to admit not only was her grip surprisingly strong, but her tiny nails were surprisingly sharp.
“That is not what you told Mam when he was little,” Lucifer could practically feel the smug grins behind him as he heard a few jars move around before the soft grind of a lid being unscrewed. “What the fuck is pap?”
“I-Ow! Charlie. No pulling Daddy's hair... I honestly don't know,” Charlie let out an irritated whine, wanting to get down again. Normally, Lucifer would have bent to her will, but given they were in the kitchen where he was about to make pancakes... “And that was different. Mam refused to eat anything but sugar! Lili was worried he's going to end up getting fat.”
“Er. You mean fatter. Prick's was fat to begin with cause all he wants to do is eat, sleep, and clown around. And he even barely does any of that clown shit anymore,” Oz grumbled before reaching out and plucking Charlie from Lucifer's grasp before the pair would get covered in flour. “Come here, Chickadee. Let's get you out of harm's way before Daddy covers both of you in flour.”
“Rude, but fair,” Lucifer pouted as Charlie squealed with joy as Ozzie nuzzled her cheeks. Still, it warmed his heart to see that Charlie loved her uncles just as much as they loved her. “You really don't mind watching her while I make this?”
“Lulu, I've been babysitting her since the day you and Lilith thought it was a good idea for Bee to watch her,” Oz chuckled before giving Lucifer a look as the small king continued mixing the ingredients. “You want some batter with that sugar, Lulu? She's a baby, not a hummingbird.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Confused, Lucifer looked curiously as he set about pouring in the fourth bag of sugar to the mix. He wasn't sure why everyone always looked so mortified at his confections and baked treats. He wasn't putting that much sugar in after all; heck, he had even cut back over the years by a few bags. Only Mammon and Beelzebub seemed indifferent about it.
“Never mind,” Asmodeus sighed, shaking his head in defeat, knowing better than to try to reason with the fallen angel. If his wife hadn't managed to convince him in the many millennia of their marriage, what hope did he have as a pseudo-little brother? “Come on, Chickadee. Best we get out of here before just the sight of all that sugar makes your teeth rot.”
Watching the pair leave while Charlie was being 'mauled' by Ozzie's bull face, Lucifer couldn't help but mutter about over dramatic roosters and their unwanted opinions on healthy sugar consumption.
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
Oz chuckled as he settled down, watching Charlie as she tottled about the room, the toy goat dragon dragging behind her in a firm grasp. He still wasn't sure what exactly had happened, but judging by Lucy's extreme reaction to learning Charlie had been in the room the whole time, whatever had happened had been traumatic for the newly made father. He had seemed almost panicked when he dove into the pile and dug her out, overjoyed that she was 'safe'.
Though considering she was now walking about, Oz figured Lucifer's fear involved her tumbling down the stairs or off a balcony. None of them knew how tough the little girl was after all, being a Hellborn angel, not even Belphegor, who was acting as her doctor. For all they knew, Charlie could be as fragile as crystal or as tough as a Heavenly curse when it came to huge falls, and honestly, no one was too eager to test it.
'Not to mention if Lil's found out...' Ozzie thought only to shudder at the idea of having to explain to an enraged mother why her baby was hurt or being tossed down a flight of stairs. 'She'd lose her every fucking shit, that's for sure.'
Leaning back with a sigh, Ozzie couldn't help but notice that the sitting room was oddly familiar. It was a silly notice to start with, given Lucifer had not only hosted him, but also the others, countless times in the manor, using the many different sitting rooms for everything from meetings to social calls. They all tended to look alike, except for small personal touches, like Lucifer's ducks or Lilith's feminine décor. And yet Ozzie somehow knew that wasn't what was nagging at him, that he was familiar with this room-
“The favorite game!”
He almost snorted as it dawned on him. This was the same damn sitting room where Mammon had suggested that silly bet to figure out which of them was Charlie's favorite Aunt or Uncle. He could so easily recall it all now, the lot of them sitting in a circle with Charlie in the center, trying to urge her over to them while she playfully teased them with every crawl. He could remember how Mammon was trying to bribe their little Chickadee to pick him, as well as how proud and cocky the prick had gotten when Charlie had crawled towards him.
Only to be snubbed because Lucifer was standing behind him. Hell's Pits and Heavens above had they all teased Mam for months about how much he pouted afterwards.
Not that any of them had helped with that. Bee wouldn't stop teasing Mam about it for hours after she had failed in pestering an answer out of Satan. Bel had of course insisted, despite any lack of evidence, that she was the favorite Aunt by default and Leviathan... well, needless to say, that vain fool kept insisting that he was the best uncle as he was her future father-in-law.
Oz could still feel the slight pain in his left face from rolling its eyes too hard.
'Like Lilith and Lulu would ever force Chickadee to marry because someone 'said so',' He scuffed before chuckling a little as well. “We were pretty ridiculous back then, though, huh?”
Although he couldn't exactly look at them, Asmodeus felt his two extra faces peek curiously at him. Maybe it was because he was alone with Charlie, enjoying the peaceful calm of babysitting his niece without an over-sugared foundling sister to be responsible for as well. It was certainly easier to keep one impulse-driven chaos demon out of trouble than two, especially when said troublemaker couldn't reach the door handles yet. But the more that Oz thought about it, the clearer it was to him that it didn't matter who Charlie loved the most as an uncle or aunt, but just that she loved them. She felt safe with them, smiled and squealed when she saw them, and didn't panic when she passed around them to hug or cuddle.
Not all Hellborn infants were like that.
Damian, for one, had happily kicked and bitten anyone who foolishly got close enough to him, which was a feat of its own as Brynhld was practically hovering around her son with a scowl and constant warning growl. Even Lucifer and Lilith had to tread with care regarding the protective woman, despite how much both she and Satan had wanted to show off their kit. Leviathan's kids had just been unnaturally creepy when they were first introduced, and Ozzie had stopped counting the number of kids and wives the Au Goetia lords had long before Paimond himself had. All his kids seemed to cling to their mother's or nanny's skirts, screaming in terror whenever they met the Sins.
So when Ozzie thought about how Charlie had only cried around them all when she was either tired, hurt, or hungry, it was clear to the Lord of Lust that their nephilian child felt safe and loved around them.
So what if they didn't know who was her favorite after Mommy and Daddy? It didn't matter one bit. Sure, Leviathan might care and Mammon as well since their egos couldn't handle playing second fiddle to anything or anyone, but Asmodeus... Asmodeus was fine just being loved by his niece. Just feeling the burst of joy and affection she automatically sent his way when she saw him was all he needed to know she loved him, just like Bee did.
“It's not a contest after all, right Chickadee?” Ozzie cooed at the baby while she peeked out from underneath her little makeshift cloth cave, her bright red eyes peering curiously at him. Oz couldn't help but smile at her. “Exactly. Who cares who's the favorite Uncle, right? It doesn't-”
“Oo ee.”
Ozzie stilled for a moment as a tiny high-pitched voice suddenly cut through the silence of the room, bringing his musings to a screeching halt. Surely he had just imagined things right? That he was just mistaken Charlie's cooing and natural baby babble for sounding like she was forming proper words. She was still too little after all. At least, Ozzie was fairly certain she was.
'Right. She's just figured out how to walk. That's already a huge thing by itself,' Asmodeus thought, trying to calm his proverbial heart. He calmly moved off the sofa and crouched down to her. “Whatcha' saying there, Chickadee? Trying to say your Uncle Ozzie's name?”
Charlie cooed at him curiously, calling out several sounds as if she was testing out how her mouth worked. Oz relaxed with a smile and booped her softly on the nose.
“Yeah, you're just a right old ray of joy and mischief, aren't you? Trying to trick old uncle Ozzie, huh?” Asmodeus mused. 'Yeah, there's no way. Though it would be funny since it would piss-”
“Ah Ooo-E.”
Ozzie froze for a second. Surely he was just imagining it, right? Just hopeful thinking, right? Right?!?
“Charlie?... Are... are you trying to-”
Charlie didn't look at him for a moment, her small face scrunched in a pout as she tried to get her tongue and mouth to cooperate with her before she broke into a smile so bright it could probably have blinded Heaven.
“Oosee!”
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
“And now for some chocolate chips.”
Lucifer hummed happily to himself as he flipped a second plain pancake onto a plate for Charlie, readying to make the next few for himself. Ever since he had seen Adam and Eve cooking as well as some of the Hellborn, Lucifer had preferred to cook himself rather than use magic. Sure, magic had its benefits, such as the food being instant or perfectly made, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Unlike Heaven, Lucifer enjoyed finding the beauty in mistakes, the experience of learning by getting dirt and fumbling about.
After all, if he only used magic to make his pancakes, how would he ever have discovered they could be in other shapes than circles? Or that they could be made thick or thin? Or, more importantly, that the recipe could be improved upon by adding stuff like fruits and chocolate?
Lucifer was so wrapped up in shaping his pancake like a duck that he almost missed the hurried steps out in the hall as Asmodeus rushed quickly by.
“TakingCharliewithmebebacksoon.”
Lucifer paused for a second, his mind slowly decoding what Ozze had yelled as he rushed by. It was a talent he had been forced to pick up, that's to Beelzebub, back when she was little. She had a habit of, whenever she was upset or high on sugar, her speech would suddenly match the speed of her beating wings. Maybe that was why Lilith was so focused on how much sugar was in their daily diet?
'Hmm.... taking Charlie with me... be back soon...' Lucifer smiled as he pieced together the blur of words before calling back. “Just make sure she's wearing a coat. It looks like rain today.”
Returning his attention to the pan, Lucifer wondered if Ozzie would like one with blueberries in it-
“Wait, what?” Pancakes now completely forgotten, Lucifer rushed to the door with the spatula in hand as he could see the sight of Ozzie's back rushing out the door with a laughing Charlie perched on his shoulder. “Ozzie, wait! Where are you going?”
“To piss off Mam,” Ozzie called back, the smugness thick in his voice. “I just won the Favorite Game!”
“That what what game?” Lucifer muttered before he heard the unmistakable sound of a portal being summoned. “Wait a minute! Ozzie! Get back here!”