Work Text:
"Why did you even agree to this?" Ratio asked, probably for the Nth time in that afternoon, but still had to do something to let out his anger. "You are barely able to keep yourself alive, it's irresponsible to leave this sort of task to you."
"Change the track, doc," Aventurine sighed, knowing he probably deserved all that scolding. Still, couldn't Ratio use some other insults for a change? "Have you looked behind the bed's frame?"
"Yes," Ratio gasped, sitting back up after nearly folding himself thrice to get a good look under the bed, "and beneath it too. It's not there."
When Aventurine dialed the doctor's number this morning, Ratio expected him to complain about work, a hangover or simply be booty-calling him. However, all he heard from the other side of the line was Aventurine's shaky, desperate voice asking him to come over.
Of course, Ratio left everything behind and got to Aventurine's place as soon as he possibly could. A domestic accident? No. Danger? Not exactly. An emotional breakdown? Probably incoming, but not there yet.
A missing pet snake. Jade's pet snake. The pet snake Aventurine was supposed to watch over for the weekend.
"What if it ran away?" Aventurine whined after emptying out another drawer of his wardrobe for nought. He had looked behind every door, under every pillow, inside every shoe and pocket, but there was still no sign of the snake.
"At this point," Ratio groaned, out of patience and energy to continue the search, "I'm just thankful you said it wasn't a big one. Clover or Spade would probably be inside its stomach by now if that was the case."
"Ratio!" Aventurine hissed, looking at the terrified cat-cakes before shooting a dagger against his boyfriend with his eyes. "It's not the time for jokes now, we need to find it."
"You get surprisingly unnerving when your luck fails you," Ratio sighed, getting back up before resuming the search.
The mess had already taken over Aventurine's room and Ratio wondered if they didn't bury the poor animal under one of the gambler's shirt at that point. The snake was probably hiding at somewhere dark, warm, damp and looking for a pr—
"Gambler!" Ratio shouted, drawing Aventurine's attention to the very target of their search coming from underneath a cabinet next to the blonde. Before one of the men could act, however, it slithered around Aventurine's leg, climbing up inside his pants. "D-don't move!"
"D-doctor!" Aventurine squealed, his fight or flight instincts failing him like never before as that cold, unsettling feeling wrapped up around his leg. "Get it out, get it o— aAHH! I-It's moving again!"
"Calm down!" Ratio groaned, quickly swiping Aventurine off his feet with the hopes of stopping him from crushing or hurting the serpent. "It's probably afraid of you, stop moving."
"Y-You tell that to me?!" Aventurine hissed, freezing on spot as Ratio sat down on the ground and placed the gambler on his lap. "W-wahahait!"
Ratio groaned, his fingers squeezed the top of Aventurine's thigh. "I'm trying to stop it from climbing any higher, or do you want it to—"
"R-Ratio!" Aventurine squeaked like a toy, again, when the animal moved once more, probably just curious about the cloth closing around it. "It's— ahAh, s-stohop tihickling me!"
"I'm not," Ratio complained under his breath, "it's not my fault you're so damn sensitive," he scolded, his other hand now squeezing the back of Aventurine's knee as he tried to push the snake back down.
"I-I cahan doho it myself! L-lehet go!"
"No, you're going to either hurt it or let it get away," Ratio sighed, not really willing to bet on their chances of taking the snake back to its tank. "Sit still and be grateful it didn't bite you yet."
"I-I'm more afrahaid of y-you bihiting me," Aventurine teased, nervous giggles spilling past his lips as the nerves on his leg tingled with anticipation and tension. "I-it stohopped mov— aHA! D-Doctor!"
"Quiet," Ratio huffed, "or I'll do more than biting you when we get it."