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Claire could tell that something had been bothering Jim recently. His eyes seemed dull and the deep navy bags under his eyes gave away his exhaustion. She didn't think he had come to bed in a few nights, as he hadn't been there when she woke up, like she was used to.
Jim had been avoiding her too, and it was starting to annoy her. It took Claire, Blinky, and Arrrggh cornering him in the library to get him to talk.
“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. I had three nights in a row where I had nightmares, and each one was worse than the last. I can't keep doing it. I can't keep reliving the worst moments of my life!” Jim finished his sentence with a distressed yell. They couldn't get many details of the nightmares from Jim, but each of them promised that they would do what they could to help him sleep peacefully.
Claire had hoped that falling asleep in a safe environment with soothing efforts would help. So Claire spent the rest of the day prepping what she needed. She found soft orange glow stones, placing them around their room, giving off a warm comforting feeling. Then, with the help of Blinky, she made some calming tea, meant to help Jim relax before bed. And finally, when it was time for Claire to sleep, she pulled him into their nest, rubbed his back, and hummed a sweet tune that her mother used to hum to her when she was small. Her efforts seemed like they worked well, maybe a little too well, because combined with his existing exhaustion, Jim fell asleep almost immediately. Claire was happy, and perhaps a little proud of herself as she rolled over and allowed herself to drift off into her own slumber.
It was only a few hours later when Claire woke to sounds of distress. She rolled over, seeing Jim gasping, like he was suffocating. His face was screwed tightly in pain. Claire shook Jim, attempting to wake him from his nightmare, but he continued on, in pain, unresponsive to her shouts for him to wake up.
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He was in the dark.
It felt like he was drowning.
He was back in the tub. He had submerged himself in the potion Merlin made for him.
It was agony. Every fiber of his being was being torn to shreds then put back together.
He felt a sharp sting across his face, and he was no longer drowning. Claire leaned over him, fear evident on her face, one of her hands raised over his face. Her expression melted into relief when his eyes met hers.
“Oh, thank God. You wouldn't wake up. I'm sorry I smacked you.” She said as she threw her arms around him in a hug. He sat up more, wrapping his own arms around her frame. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead on her shoulder.
“Thank you. I couldn't bear to be there anymore.” Jim whispered, voice cracking.
Claire didn't push for more details; she just pulled him into a tighter embrace.
Jim didn't sleep again that night. Or the next. Or the one after that. He insisted he was fine; he was a troll now after all, and they didn't need much sleep. The growing darkness under his eyes and the way his body dragged as he tried to work throughout the night were still the dead giveaway to his state.
Blinky and Arrrggh had the idea to make him a sleep tonic, one that was supposed to induce a dreamless sleep. It seemed perfect. Unfortunately, one of the ingredients was only found in the deep caverns with the Krubera tribe, so Arrrggh was the only one able to retrieve it, and it would take some time for him to journey there and back.
In the meantime, Blinky had attempted to make another version of this elixir, utilizing other similar ingredients. The first bottle had turned out a light blue color that seemed to glow slightly and tasted like pea flower lemonade to Jim. It hadn't helped him sleep that night.
He had fallen asleep quickly again, though they didn't know if it was the elixir or his general lack of sleep. Blinky had been excited when it had been more than 4 hours without incident. That's when he heard a whimper from Jim's room. Claire had already rolled over and woken Jim by the time Blinky had come in to check on them. He found Jim clutching Claire like a lifeline, mumbling something about losing her forever. Claire seemed to understand his fear, and comforted him, promising she was okay and she wasn't going anywhere, that she had survived. Blinky had taken Jim from Claire, to allow her to sleep some more, and to help soothe Jim. It wasn't until later that Claire explained the nightmare to Blinky.
Jim had been dreaming of when Gunmar took over Trollmarket, and she had teleported all the trolls, but she hadn't survived the spell. Jim had been clutching her so tight when he woke up, needing to hear her heartbeat to ensure she was okay.
Blinky went back to the drawing board, and by that night he had the second version of his sleep elixir ready. Jim had refused to take it however, stating he wasn't tired and he wasn't going to keep taking random potions when no one knew what they did. Blinky had admitted to him that he hadn't tested them, so offered to take the tonic first and relay the effect to Jim the next day. Blinky, being a full troll really didn't need much sleep. Only needing a few hours every few days, or maybe a good 24 hours of sleep once a month. But Blinky had been staying up with Jim for the better part of a week, so he took the tonic. The next morning, he was happy to report to Jim that the tonic worked wonderfully. He had fallen asleep within an hour of consumption and had slept so well, he was certain he wouldn't need to sleep for at least 2 weeks after this. Jim was still hesitant, but Blinky insisted it was safe. So, Jim trusted him and drank it.
Claire had once again helped him settle into bed and hummed him to sleep while rubbing his back. This time, when he fell asleep, Claire had decided to stay up, hoping to wake Jim the moment she noticed any distress. It had been hard for her to stay up, and at the six hour mark she was beginning to believe that they were in the clear. Just as she laid down, she heard a soft noise from Jim. She sat up to check on him, and noticed his brows scrunch and his lips turn downward. She shook him once, then again not-so-gently. He didn't stir. She tapped on his cheek, hoping to avoid smacking him awake again.
“Jim! You gotta wake up. It's just a nightmare!” She yelled, shaking his body more vigorously. “C’mon, c’mon.” she whispered.
She swore under her breath, and raised her hand, quickly bringing it down onto Jim's cheek. He showed no response once again.
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It was dark, but this time he could breathe. He couldn't see anything, so he walked, it was endless. He didn't know how long he walked for, when he heard it. A familiar growl. He knew where he was. The growl grew closer.
He was being hunted by himself. A noise over his shoulder had him spinning to catch the fist aimed for his head. The figure in front of him was himself, except bigger, meaner, and clad in the red of his eclipse armor. He was back in The Deep. He turned to run, he didn't want to fight anymore. Faintly in the infinite distance, Jim could see a soft green glow, and he ran for it. He hadn't realized when it happened, but his surroundings had shifted.
He was no longer in the never-ending darkness of The Deep and was now wandering the maze that was the Darklands. He stopped, turning to look behind him, chest heaving with the effort of running. Nothing was there. He spun around to inspect his surroundings, only to be met with a GumGum soldier. Jim yelped in surprise, and turned again, only this time he was met with the wicked smile of Nomura. He barely managed to dodge the swing of one of her khopesh swords. He felt himself slip, and then he was falling. The air left his lungs as he slammed into the rocks below. He gasped for breath, hand clutching his chest, saliva fell from his lips as he struggled.
He hadn't even been able to catch his breath when a foot connected with his side, and he was sent flying. The same foot came down to press into his chest, and a gravelly voice spoke in his ear.
“Pathetic. You are worthless.” The wicked voice of Gunmar spoke. Jim opened his eyes and was met with the golden form of Gunmar standing over him, crushing him.
“I’ll enjoy killing you slowly, Trollhunter.” Gunmar laughed at Jim as he writhed in agony.
Jim felt the air leave his body again, pain in his chest unbearable. His vision faded and he finally felt relief. His body shot up, gasping for breath yet again. His vision was blurred, and he coughed violently. He felt a hand on his arm, and he reacted on instinct, tossing his arm to the side and he heard a grunt as whoever had grabbed him was thrown across the room.
A warning growl escaped his throat, but it was cut short as he coughed again. He managed to open his eyes finally and saw he was in his room. Claire and Blinky were the only ones with him. Blinky leaned against a large crater in the wall, holding one of his hands to his head, another shielding Claire, and the other two out towards Jim in a placating manner.
“Master Jim? Are you with us? You are safe now; it was just a nightmare.” Blinky said, eyes squinting through the obvious pain in his head. Jim felt heat rise within him. Something with in him snapped and he growled. Claire and Blinky tensed, worried he might attack.
Jim stood and yelled, "NO! No, it wasn’t! It wasn't just a nightmare! They’re memories! They come back to haunt me every night! Every time I have ever felt pain! Every person or troll who has ever attacked me! Wanted to kill me! You keep saying it's just nightmares but they're not!” Jim collapsed to his knees and curled in upon himself.
Claire and Blinky shared a look. They were at a loss. Claire took a deep breath and approached Jim. He made no move to acknowledge her as she placed a hand on his back, trying to soothe him. They stayed this way for a few minutes. Eventually Jim lifted his head and tired blue eyes met sad brown. Claire offered a soft smile, helped him stand, and all three of them walked quietly to Blinky’s dwelling.
Jim hadn't let himself sleep again after that. It had been five days since that day, and finally Arrrggh had returned with the real sleep tonic ingredient. It had taken much convincing and promises that this tonic had been used for centuries and would give Jim the dreamless sleep that he desperately longed for. Jim finally, albeit reluctantly, took a sip of the liquid. That night he finally enjoyed his first dreamless night in nearly a month.