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Later, Burr would think and smile, of course. It couldn't go down in different way, could it?
But before that: a memory.
xxx
"Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?"
(Alexander Hamilton: a firebender. Aaron Burr: a waterbender. It seems fitting that one day, they will end up on the opposing sides of a dueling ground.) (But first, they are friends.)
"Can I buy you a drink?"
(This is how it begins.)
xxx
Burr is an excellent bender (and how could he not be, he feels the heavy weight of his parent's legacy on his shoulders) (he truth is that he cannot ever afford to be anything else but the best one), but he'd take a gun over a water whip every time.
Water calls to him and feels so much natural that the dead metal in his hands, but he thinks "I never chose you" and "I can choose this" and holds it tighter and ignores the surprised looks of his peers and the quiet sneers. A gun is the weapon of the non-benders, the pitiful losers of the genetic lottery, it does not belong in the hands of the blessed, they say - and yet he can’t bring to care.
Later, he does not know whether to thank god for letting it to be this way or whether to curse him.
(That is a lie.)
xxx
The war is in the air and Burr thinks about rivers turning red and the rain washing the blood away from the battlefields and he imagines explosions and ash and flesh torn apart. Hamilton does not listen when Burr talks about people, friends getting dragged away in the night, arrested or shot on sight - of course, he dreams of glory and victories and honor, all of the things firebenders adore so much and his friends are no better. Burr pretends not to see it.
They all go to war, in the end. Burr does not know why he even bothered – as if anyone could ever stop Hamilton.
He goes, too.
xxx
And then there is the war.
Hamilton burns through it all, the deaths and the wounds and the losses, because of course he does, to fight in this war is to burn up, and Hamilton is very much in his element.
(Firebenders, Burr thinks with certain disdain. Always so eager to kill. Always so eager to die.)
But Burr does his part too. And he may not be burning up with conviction and beliefs, but when he takes aim, with focus and a strange sort of serenity, he breathes in and thinks "This is it." and thinks "I am doing the right thing." and shoots.
And then he does it again and again and again.
Most of the other waterbenders are at sea (and where else would they be, really – each to his own, he supposes) but Burr does not go. There are few of them, here on the land, but they do their best to help. Some heal (but not him, he never learned to heal and never will), some freeze the rivers to help them cross and some fight.
Burr takes his gun and shoots and never opens the small vial of fluid hanging on his neck. He thinks to himself, it wouldn't be fair, none of them has the skill that even remotely compares to his (but that is a lie, he would never let this to stop him) and he remembers stories about his mother and father and knows he is not as good and he knows that he will never be as good. Deep down, he thinks maybe I can be good at this. Not water, never water, he thinks, but a bullet is all well and good.
xxx
Here is a secret: Burr can't bloodbend.
(His father could and his father before him, but he was too young to learn when they lived and when they died, he was too young still.)
Burr can't bloodbend and isn't it a fantastic contradiction, because every Burr before him could and would, but Aaron can't and never will. Burrs were always the only one who could and if they (he) can't who possibly could?
Bloodbending left America with his father and damn that old bastard for being so old-fashioned and not writing down a thing. Aaron can't bloodbend and no son of him ever will. (Just another reason why he will never be able to step out of the shadow of his father.)
Here is a secret: Burr never wanted to bloodbend, but it still hurts.
xxx
Theodosia is a non-bender (and what a shame, the public agrees, she could make such a prosperous match, but she can't bend), but she is brilliant and breathtaking and understanding and when they marry, he says "I love you" and "They are fools" and he thinks "How lucky for me that they always heard non-bender and did not bothered asking more". He thinks about another world, one in which they meet when she is long married with a flock of children and he knows he'd love her even then.
Then his little Theodosia is born and he falls silent in wonder as he holds the tiny fragile life in his hands and then he says, his voice cracking up "Look what we have done" and his wife smiles, exhausted and says "Aaron, isn't she beautiful" and he nods, utterly speechless.
She is his precious baby, always will be, and when it turns out she is no bender, he smiles and says good. No one will try to use her as breed-mare. No one will try to use her to fight in wars she didn't start. No one will expect her to be something she is not. She will be free to be whatever she wants to be.
(Afterwards, he smiles bitterly and wishes - oh so much - that she'd been born a waterbender after all. No waterbender ever could get lost at sea.)
(But that's a long time after that.)
xxx
Somewhere in between, war ends. (And he lets Hamilton tell glorious stories about the revolution and stays silent, because he knows the truth: the smell of decaying bodies, the tremor in his hands and the way he screams at night).
Burr and his family (and he has a family now, isn't it incredible) move to New York. He's a brilliant lawyer (always a prodigy) - waterbenders tend to be. Hamilton goes as well, with his wife (Eliza is a waterbender, a fact that Burr finds intriguing, but they seem to work well together and so he keeps quiet) and even if he does not have quite the polished skills Burr has, he burns so brightly, everyone is drawn to him like moths to the flame.
Their disagreements become more divisive - Hamilton accuses him of being indecisive, inactive and hesitant, but he does not understand, he can't understand, he won't understand and Burr hates him a little for that.
They drift apart.
xxx
Jefferson he can't understand.
Burr always had something like a quiet respect for earthbenders (he can't help but admire their will and resolve). It is different with firebenders - they are too loud, too aggressive, and too impulsive and nowadays, he can't bring himself to do more than to wonder that their breed somehow manages to live long enough to reproduce.
The point is: He understands, if hesitantly, the way they are.
But Jefferson is an airbender and it is infuriating the way he keeps shifting, never staying for a moment still, with quick words and quicker mind, precise and sharp, mocking them all.
Burr never comes to like him, but it's him or Hamilton and it is not like Hamilton will ever forgive him for beating old Schuyler, so he chooses Jefferson.
(The funny thing is, it wasn't even meant as an insult: Burr is water and change and adaptability, and when he had seen the opportunity, he took it and changed along the way - but Hamilton can't understand that, because everything is personal to him and this strike came too close to his chest to be able to forgive.)
An airbender, a waterbender and a non-bender (because Madison can't bend, and isn't it peculiar, the company he chose) walk into the Senate. Burr would like to say that he never looks back, but the truth is that he does - many times.
xxx
After Theodosia dies, Burr raises their children.
(She slowly slips away from him. Something is devouring here from inside and he desperately calls on every doctor, every healer and every charlatan in the town who could possibly save her, but none can and for the first time - but not for the last - he wishes he hadn't been so proud and learned to heal, just like his mother before him.)
There is Theodosia junior (and she is his firstborn, his darling eldest and she is brilliant in everything she does), darling Sally (the only child he'll ever teach how to bend, and she isn't as good as him or his father or his father before him, but does that matter, really?), and finally little Aaron (who can't bend either, but Burr loves him all the same, because he is so much like his mother, kind and caring and good). He loves them without any conditions and makes sure to be around (not like his father, never like his father.)
In the end, he outlives them all.
(But he does not know that yet and for now, he holds their hands and smiles and watches over them when they sleep.)
xxx
This is what Burr learns from the papers: Philip Hamilton dies.
This is what Burr does not ask Hamilton about:
Eacker is a firebender, Hamilton junior as well. The matter is a question of honor. It will be resolved by an Agni Kai. (So far, it is easy.)
Agni Kais are very popular with firebenders, always been. The rules are simple, as always: the duelists fight. The first one to get burn loses. The winner retains his honor - the loser does not. (No one has to die, this way.)
The duel takes place in Jersey. Everything is legal in New Jersey. (Remember, this will be important later.)
Philip plays by the rules. Eacker does not. (As Hamilton junior slowly moves from his position to strike the first blow, Eacker draws a pistol and shoots. It's not a clean shot, but it does its job.)
They both lose their honor. (Eacker, because he broke the rules. Philip, because he lost.)
The first one never goes to a trial for breaking rules (Remember: Everything is legal in New Jersey).
The second one never gets around retaining his honor, because he dies the next day. (And all of Eliza's love and all the skill of waterbending masters from the town combined can't help him, because benders never quite counted on bullets.)
This is what Burr says to Hamilton: My condolences.
This is what Hamilton says to Burr:
xxx
Years pass. Deeds are done. Words are said. Letters are written.
Burr looks back and wonders what exactly went wrong.
(Hamilton can’t do the same.)
xxx
Here is a fact: A waterbender and a firebender cannot enter an Agni Kai.
Here is another fact: They can, however, choose to engage in duel.
Here is what happens: They do.
xxx
Number one: Burr arrives first. The river holds his boat tenderly, like she is saying goodbye to her favorite son. It's too cold, too early and he shivers.
Number two: Burr can see Hamilton's boat approaching. He thinks - briefly - about spreading hands, seizing the waves and - what? Drowning Hamilton? He could, he could do it so easily, that's his heritage and somehow he knows that Hamilton knows it too. Burr breathes in, turns away and does nothing.
Number three: Burr does not look at Hamilton when he arrives. They don't talk to each other. Lots are drawn - and once more, luck does not favor Burr. He grits his teeth. Of course.
Number four: Burr knows that he's better with a pistol than Hamilton is - to be honest, he is not even sure Hamilton ever held one before today. They used to be friends, after all. He knows that Hamilton is a natural with flames - why would he ever need to learn how to shoot?
Number five: ("But really, Burr," he looks at him, slurring a bit. "Why don't you just bend?" and Burr tells him, because he drank too much and Hamilton looks at him and does not understand. Burr supposes it's natural. He never had a father to measure up to in the first place.)
Number six: Burr is not even sure why Hamilton accepted - does he hate me so much, he wonders, that he'd take even these odds to see me dead? It does not matter, not now - but Burr looks back and wonders.
Number seven: Burr looks at Hamilton. He examines the gun with a blank face (so rare an expression on this particular firebender) and Burr sees that his hands are not yet used to this weapon. He sees that, unknowingly, Hamilton has shifted into one of his firebending stances. Burr does not see a master marksman - he sees Hamilton.
Number eight: Burr knows it and yet - he thinks of Theodosia, with her mother's name and his eyes and he thinks of Sally, too serious for her own good and he thinks of Aaron and his trusting nature and decides: none of them will become orphan today. (He does not think about Angelica, Alexander, James, John, William, Elizabeth or little Philip.)
Number nine: Burr feels his rapid heartbeat and he feels himself hurting inside. He looks Hamilton in the eye and he thinks “Aim no higher” and he summons all the courage he has (it's almost not enough) and he counts: one two three four five six seven eight nine number ten paces - fire!
Number ten: and then he does.
"WAIT!"
xxx
Hamilton aimed his pistol at the sky.
Burr did not.
(This is how it ends.)
xxx
Here is a secret: Burr sees Hamilton's face - it's so pale, he shrieks inside and he wants to say "Let me see him" and he wants to say "I didn't mean to", but he doesn't, because no one wants to listen to him and he isn't even sure whether he's telling the truth.
xxx
Later, he learns that Hamilton didn't even learn to shoot. Why would he? He didn't intend to kill him at all.
xxx
Here is a lie: Hamilton lives. Eliza nurses him back to health with all her strength and abilities. He is never the same, but he lives and he walks and he talks. Burr meets him at his home - and words flow out of his mouth, uncontrolled, and he says "I am so sorry, Alexander" and "I don't expect you to ever forgive me" and "I should have waited this time" and Hamilton laughs (and his laugh is a tiny thing, fragile, but so incredible) and he says "You should have" and "I forgive you". They can never go back to what was before - but perhaps they can create something new.
Here is the truth: Hamilton does not live and Burr pays for it.
xxx
Burr lives too long (he's a waterbender, that's what they do). Here is what he sees:
Friends and allies alike turn away from him. He smiles with bitterness and disdain (for them, for himself) and says "My friend Hamilton, whom I shot" and watches them whisper and mutter and buzz. It does not matter. His career is over either way. He goes down without any protest.
Theodosia does not stay - she marries and she has a son (but he dies and it's the second time Burr hates himself for not being good enough), and then she suddenly isn't and Burr falls apart.
Sally is the one to piece him back together - she may not be as good a bender as he is (was, he does no longer bends), but she is the one who learned to heal and she does exactly that. She looks at him with his own dark eyes and does not leave. (Never - the same illness that took her mother takes her. She can't heal herself, no one can, and it's the third time he can't save someone he loves.)
Aaron never becomes a lawyer or a politician or a soldier. He follows in the footsteps of his great-grandfather - but he's absolution and forgiveness where the other was fire and brimstone and Burr loves him for that. Aaron gets married (and his wife is a firebender and Burr smiles at the irony, because both of their sons are firebenders as well and as the famed waterbendending line of Burrs comes to an end, something very different is born). Aaron dies suddenly, without any warning - his heart just stops. Burr mourns quietly (because it's the fourth time and because that's the only thing he does these days, he mourns the departed) and his wife shouts and screams and burns herself with helpless rage and sorrow. Burr can't help her.
Eliza turns to be the greatest of them all. After the flame that was her husband goes out, she turns to ice. It makes her stronger. She hates Burr (he can tell, because he feels the same), so they avoid each other. He watches from afar as she shapes the legacy Hamilton always wanted - not for herself. For him.
Madison does not become the president. He can't - it will take more than a century and half before the first non-bender runs for the highest office and wins. (Burr does not know that. He keeps his mouth shut, but inside, he thinks it is a shame. He knows exactly what non-benders are capable of - after all, he married one). Madison will never know, but in two centuries non-benders with their technologies will take over the world (because very few benders ever bother learning about how lightening exactly works, when they can summon it on command).
There are others, of course. They live and then they die. Burr waits patiently until he is allowed to follow.
He waits a very long time.
xxx
Remember: Later, Burr would think and smile, of course. It couldn't go down in different way, could it?
(could it?)