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“I measured the vastness of the world with my own two feet, trying to chase and recognize you through the pulse of rivers.
I bore the sprinting of the deer, their hooves thundering like heartbeats in my chest. I bore the burden of snow, my spine holding up the mountain peaks and the hawks’ azure sky.
I became an ancient tree standing tall, a stone in deep waters, using mountain ranges as guides and flowing streams as messengers, searching for you.
I no longer merely walk upon the earth. I gradually learned to feel as the earth does, until I became the earth itself.
To search for someone lost in the memoria tide, all I could cling to were our shared memories. They kept resurfacing in my mind, constantly reminding me of my original resolve when I first departed, and ultimately guided me to where you are.
That thousand-year journey was but a fleeting moment beyond the memoria tide. Yet the ordeal of it, the grinding down of will and spirit, was almost unbearable. But I can no longer afford to dwell on that.”
“Awwwwhh, Dan Henggg! I'm gonna cry!”
“There's no need to cry. I'll gladfully do whatever it takes to ensure you're all safe.”
“Gahh, now I’m so curious to see what happened!”
“If you're suggesting to look into my memories… I'd rather you not. However, I can attempt to give you more details in the future when I have ample time, if you so wish.”
“Well, what matters now is that we’re all together again. Let’s continue to Trailblaze toward tomorrow~.”
“Hmh, yes. Let's.”
“Get out from that,” Dan Heng sighs exasperatedly, approaching the neutral-and-yellow colour themed figure sticking half of their body into a trashcan in the city of snow, a hand holding onto the outer rim.
Said individual noticeably flinched, nearly throwing themself out of the trashcan to look at Dan Heng, faint smudges of dirt on their startled face, even with their other hand still within the confines of the metal. “You know how unsanitary that is, right?”
“It's fine, I'll just shower when we get back,” Caelus refuted with a bright smile on his face. The raven-haired sighs with a slight shake of his head, arms crossing over his chest as he suspects the silver-haired boy's next words, who directed his gaze to his hand in the trashcan. “Like I've told you and March before, there's so many treasures in these things! It's crazy how people can just throw such valuable things away!”
Such a predictable response. “That's highly unlikely, Caelus,” he deadpanned.
“No, I'm serious!” Caelus eagerly stated, looking back at Dan Heng with a look of proud anticipation in his golden-starry eyes, “Look at this!” He pulled his closed hand out of the trashcan, opening it with his (considerably grimy with who knows what) palm up and as flat as he could get it, revealing a small yellow-coloured charm in the shape of a maple leaf—at least from what he could tell, with an unknown green-tinted white substance on the edges of it. What it was, Dan Heng isn't sure if he'd rather leave it in the unknown, or to make sure it wasn't something that could be dangerous to the Crew.
Even as unlikely as it seemed, the latter thought seemed more important. Nonetheless, he could just faintly hear March's remark going along the lines of “Ew, what is that?! The charm's cute, though. But still!”
He internally chuckled at the thought.
“I wanted to give this to you actually,” Caelus mentioned, voice sounding a little softer as his fingers with the charm curled slightly. Dan Heng's eyes squinted slightly at the charm then the grey-haired. “I'd wash it off at the Express first, of course,” he quickly supplied, a lopsided nervous grin on his face.
Dan Heng let out a faint snort, fighting the urge to smile. “I see. I'm not one for gifts, but if you do see a way to reuse it, that's quite alright.”
“Yeah I figured as much,” Caelus chuckled genuinely, closing his hand holding the charm and lowering it to his side.
Dan Heng hesitates slightly before adding; “And if you're going to insist on giving it to me… Then I suggest you find something to give to March, so she doesn't feel left out.”
“Yeah, you're right,” Caelus mused, gaze glancing back to the open can as he lifts his free hand to his chin in a thoughtful manner – something he must've picked up from others. “What should I get her, though? I know she likes cutesy stuff, I guess, but such a wide variety, I'm never exactly sure,” he thought out loud.
“Choose what you think is best. Follow your heart,” Dan Heng answers flatly, yet faint, hardly noticeable intrigue in his eyes in what the other would choose.
Caelus looks back at Dan Heng, contemplating for a moment before a wide smile returns to his face. “Of course! Never thought you could speak such heartfelt words, Dan Heng!” The silver-haired man giggled, hand lowering from his face to his hip.
Dan Heng smiled softly, unfolding his arms. “It's just… something March always tells me.”
“Ughh, seriously Dan Heng. It's not going to kill you if you listen to your heart for once instead of your head! Y’know, that stream of feelings you always hide and I know you have?” A pitched feminine, irritated yet comforting and friendly voice echoed through his ears.
Enough to coax the raven-haired to arouse from slumber, eyes slowly blinking open from sleep blearily.
Dan Heng looked around at his surroundings, at the edge of open fields, his back leaning against the trunk of a tree. He knows he mustn't waste time in his search, time outside the ocean of memoria ticking away as the uncertain fate of the world ticks closer, yet slower than the time within the tide, but in what has felt like a damn near eternity of traveling through this world, he still can get fatigued enough that he desperately needs to rest before pressing on.
Getting up and continuing to move forward while he keeps an eye on his surroundings, looking for any kind of movement or sign of his beloved – friend? Family? The lines of titled relation he has with that grey-haired man have begun to blur, and have a long while ago, but it is not something he questions anymore, finding it not quite as important as keeping his goal for searching and his close companions from the Astral Express close to his heart and mind.
The birds chirp overhead and swoop by, singing songs of directions as they lead overhead into the distance, gliding along the breeze Dan Heng follows. The leaves of trees distantly flutter, the blades of grass underneath softly crunching under his feet, and oh, so far sounds of other woodland animals — so far that a normal human typically wouldn't be able to hear it from this far away, but the words that the animals speak he couldn't quite make out.
Yet it was all in the direction that he walked, and where he hoped that his beloved would be in the direction of within this never-ending maze.
Never-ending or not, he's already come so far, and he'll be damned if he doesn't return without Caelus. I'd do anything for them, he said before, throughout this trek, even now, and for as long as he continues to live.
He jumps between mountains, his will unbending and threatening to shake the earth as he runs through the terrains, his steps and heart in sync with the fleeing deer in flourishing earth and into barren lands alone where there's nothing but sand and dying plants – those of which come back to life within his presence, a small river of water following behind him to keep the land and its animals around alive.
He moves from tree branch to branch, tree to tree, shaking the green leaves with loud flutters, yet the wood, no matter how weak, unbreaking beneath his weight. He converses with the many kinds of critters he comes across, in tune with them enough to understand what they say, asking for directions to his beloved as they lead him toward a direction that bring him to different situations of terrain.
He can go to where the snow makes it hard to see, the strong, freezing winds threatening to pull him away from his resolve that remains unshakable in of itself, making its attempts to freeze his heart once again – the burning Coreflame of a will and heavy burden beside it resisting.
He's brought to murky swamps where the deep waters with all kinds of algae seek to pull him under, but as he is in tune with the earth, he too, is in tune with the waters and skies, controlling the waters to his will and allowing him to pass through, and following where the clearer rivers go, listening to the land's creatures lurking about.
The oceans he faces he swims through, his Vidyadhara nature originating from the Luofu allowing the ease of it. He follows the schools of fish, the sharks, orcs, turtles, whales, any kind of underwater fish going in the direction to find his beloved he asks – downright begs – to find.
He follows oceans down to the valleys, sometimes seeming as of another maze itself even if he jumps from hill to hill, following the rivers passing through the sunken parts of the earth, clear enough to portray and reflect his resolve and feelings, reminding him clearly of what he continues toward.
And from valleys to oases to coasts and all kinds of situations again, a never-ending maze that seeks to shake his decision and trap him here too, but the memories he recalls of his beloved, his companions–family, and the distant, fleeing memories of a much older past and the burden resting on the flame in his chest keep the Vidyadhara on track, certain on what he needs to do and where to go.
For a long-life species, yes, his time with the Astral Express with short-lived species would be just a fleeting moment in his. But that matters not, the years he's spent with them invaluable as they gave him more than he could ever ask for or need, and most of all: a new, unknown future to welcome with open arms. And he will treasure that for as long as he can, even if by this point, he might be older than a typical Xianzhou native, let alone a single life-span of a Vidyadhara.
He'll do whatever it takes to bring Caelus and March home.
A thought — promise, he reminds himself constantly.
After what has felt like possibly an eon of time – the passing days he hasn't quite counted in order to keep focus on his goal – he's finally found the end of this ocean's maze after relentless searching.
The maze's exit; a strikingly familiar black and golden train resting in the middle of the open snow plains – new terrain that one typically would hardly be able to notice if it were due to all the blindingly white and cold snow.
Involuntarily, he gasps the moment he laid his eyes on it, his pace slowing slightly as he reminisces on fond memories he can clearly remember from the top of his head. Letting out a slightly shaky breath–primarily from the hopefulness filled with yearning, he picks up his pace once again, rushing toward the train's doors and boarding.
However, within the familiar Parlor Car – the main carriage with the furniture all still there, everything still the same as he remembers, yet holds no-one. His chest tightens with worry as he proceeds through slowly, keeping a close eye as he removes his cloak's hood from his head. And passing by one of the tables as he walks in the direction of the small staircase toward the next carriage, he spots a photo with familiar individuals.
Stopping in his tracks, he glances at the photo and with his left hand, carefully picks up the photo as if it were a fragile thing – as if it were going to crumble to ashes the moment he touched it. The photo was one March had taken once, and a recently familiar one. Right, it was one that March had left in that camera she lent, and in turn, he and Caelus left, and one he spent several sleepless nights in Amphoreus looking at.
He smiled softly, staring at the photo March took the day before they left for Penacony, celebrating… something he can't quite recall the specifics of, but it was a joyous day, and March took to memorize it with a photo of Dan Heng in the middle, March on his left and Caelus on his right, the latter two looking as bright and optimistic as ever, himself in the photo smiling – a rarity at that time – genuinely enjoying their company and their suffocating energy seeping into his own solemness.
He tears his eyes away from the photo as he feels slow, involuntary movement start to slowly pick up, gaze looking toward the window as the outer surroundings had begun to start passing into an eventual blur. Dan Heng walked up to the window across from him, passing by the game of chess in the middle of playing – the white pieces at a winning advantage, having almost cleared the board with the few black pieces remaining, the former almost claiming checkmate.
Dan Heng glances out the window as he places his free hand on the glass with a faint clink of the metallic claw-like covering his fingers, tilting his head to look at both directions past the framing metal, but the angle and glass not allowing him to see much ahead. He backs away slowly, glancing around the car in hopes that perhaps the crew have returned suddenly when the train began moving.
“Hello?” He calls out, his voice surprisingly even and clear somehow, even though he had only used it to talk to the animals briefly during his travels.
And there was no response, aside from a sudden, strong shudder to the train, managing to knock Dan Heng off his feet as did some of the tables and chairs, and whatever clutter may be on top surfaces with loud thudding and clattering.
What was that? He wondered, quickly recovering and standing back up, pocketing the photo in his hand before returning to the glass.
The Express had returned to the galaxy, but something was unsettling about it. Like what was beyond his view of the uncountable amount glittering dots was going to swallow everything whole.
Then another impact was made to the train, but the shake wasn't as forceful and Dan Heng was able to keep on his feet. He quickly whipped around, items on the train beginning to float as if gravity on the Express had lowered, but the Vidyadhara himself remained planted to the carpeted floor, and so did a chair at the other far of the train, where someone sat.
Someone he recognized.
Someone he knows.
The someone he's been looking for.
“Caelus…” He whispers out with widened eyes, feet moving on their own slowly toward the grey-haired.
He remained wary, however, cautious of his surroundings due to still being in the memoria tide he remembers, and items around him levitating around, unaware of something weightless and flimsy slipping out of his pocket, and faintly noticing of dangerous yet anonymous things sneakily coming up to him from behind.
With that, he kept his guard up, even as he approached his beloved, who he increasingly noticed seemed to be limp as he sat in the chair. The surrounding air grew ominous, and even with his increasing but faint delusions, he reached his hand out anyway to Caelus’s shoulder, his figure slowly falling to the side now, almost as if gravitating toward the Vidyadhara’s presence.
Dan Heng, on instinct, reacted quickly enough to catch the other Trailblazer as he had fallen from the backing of the chair, cloudhymm giving him the necessary speed.
And here he is, once again, holding a limp and almost fragile comrade in his arms as they desperately hold onto life.
Dan Heng almost choked on his breath as his arm not wrapped around Caelus’s shoulders pushes strands of silver-grey hair from out of his face carefully, his fingers just barely touching the other’s cheekbone, golden eyes that could hold the stars hidden behind closed eyelids, and brows slightly furrowed like in a deep dream.
“Caelus… Wake up, please,” he whispers softly, his pleading voice low enough just for only himself and his beloved to hear, as if there were others around that were trying to eavesdrop.
And as it turns out, there is, from the echoing voice that ruptured from everywhere yet nowhere, almost as if an Aeon or Titan were trying to talk to him. He just barely made out the words as he swiftly looked around – unaware of the chair the Trailblazer was once sitting in having evaporated – in search of where the voice could’ve possibly originated, something along the lines of “just let go. There’s nothing you can do.”
He didn’t believe the words, he knows he can save his companions, and refuses to let it all be in vain. Not even as the door in front of him opened, revealing not a vast expanse of the freezing space of nothingness that would suck him away, but the environment in shades of red and purple fog with several black trains, exact to the Astral Express, going in different directions and going out for as far as the eye could see, a clear sign he must be far deep in the tides. Until the doorway is blocked by another train moving directly in front, hiding the sight yet not making contact with the Express that he’s currently in.
Sharply exhaling as he returns to his senses, he looks down to see the person he’s sought for this entire time suddenly gone, unaware of where and when he suddenly disappeared, and goosebumps slowly lapping the back of his neck and arms for an entirely different reason. He stood back up quickly, panicked yet needing to focus on the threats he could feel approaching, mentally reinforcing his promise.
“Do not…” He utters, eyes darting to the side to glance on at said threats running toward him, “come any closer!”
Pulling out the spear he was granted by “Earth” from his sub-space inventory, he spins on his heel as the blade takes a swipe at the first among several memory-composed creature that pounced at him like a wolf, throwing it against the nearby wall and momentarily disabling it as golden blood fell from the wound in its side and spilling past the enlarged teeth, the second one attempts to jump him, Dan Heng’s movements swift and calculating as he re-asseses his grasp on the spear’s shaft to stab its neck, throwing it off to the side.
Calling his Souldragon, he gestures his spear forward, the yellow-golden serpent-like dragon bursting out from beyond the wall behind him at the onslaught of oncoming memosprites, slithering past him before straightening down the carriage, disappearing as it got to the opposite wall. Particularly easier while in the memoria’s ocean, where their bodies are more sensitive, yet attacks strongest.
And that is, until the train blocking the Express’s still open door had passed, yet the windows, he notices, show nothing of this sight. “You’ve already lost your way,” that echoing voice spoke once more, and without warning, Dan Heng was suddenly pulled out of the Express, that vacuum of space stealing him away. He kept a firm hold on his spear, even as he was thrown onto the top of another Astral Express after falling in the foggy space for a moment.
“Shit,” he whispers breathlessly, using the heel of his spear to prop himself up as he looks around, a distorted face of something he couldn’t make out flashing before him before a grid of extensively long carriages came speedily toward him when he had turned around, surrounding him with a roaring sound of forcefully speeding through wind, the lit windows fleeting by yet showing images of memories like strips of film playing an old movie, and almost as if it were trying to strip him of his own memories. “Even your memories will fade.”
He holds onto his head as he lowers it, closing his eyes and desperately trying to hold onto said memories, the near-breaking grasp he has on his spear loosening slightly as he focuses, the sound soon coming to an end and going off into the distance. He exhales slowly, his vow remaining his main thought as he remains on the roof of the train. He opens his eyes, the surroundings coloured in orange and structures like geometric mountains of Aeons know what, but pays it no mind as he glances down at the spear in his hand with a look of determination.
“No more words are needed,” he spoke out loud to whatever judgemental voice had been echoing through this section of the tide, tightening his grasp on the shaft, “I’ve already made my decision!” And with a raise of his spear, his dragon self shoots out throughout the space, roaring past whatever is in his way and shattering through one of the surrounding mountain-like walls toward another Express, solo beyond the orange space into a vast, dark emptiness.
Returning to his Permansor Terrae form as the dragon had gotten close to the train, Dan Heng fell through the window, weapon still out prepared for whatever may lay within, but time seemed to pause as he sees his companions all gathered within the Parlor Car at the opposite window as if waiting or expecting something, said window not showing anything but a glowing bright, almost blinding white.
He exhales softly seeing them all together, eyes widening, he thought he might’ve finally found them all. Or was it only one of them? He can’t quite focus on that detail at the moment.
“Perhaps, you’ve already been left behind.”
The voice came again, not quite as echoing, and Dan Heng could finally pinpoint where it’s originating from: beyond the white window. A sense of dread washed over him, both at the thought from those words, and with what’s about to happen to him.
The glowing white shatters like the glass of a mirror, making way for an unsettling and heavily distorted face created by the memoria, it’s body beyond the head like a snake and its jaws widening as it passes through the car, giving Dan Heng no time to react before he’s swallowed whole, his body no longer frozen in place as he falls through an seemingly endless carriage reminiscent of one of the Express’s.
“NO!” he yelled out as loud as he could, voice full of fear, spear gone from his hand yet his other attempting reaching out toward the glowing, golden light of a door increasingly getting smaller, desperation getting him to attempt to grab that light and hold onto it, to no avail.
Images flash through his mind as he falls and falls, memories playing in flashes of his home from his birthplace outside the Shackling Prison – old companions – The Astral Express, his home – his beloved. Memories he has continue until it goes black, falling unconscious.
And the pitch blackness remained only briefly, as he comes back to consciousness after falling onto the floor finally, covered in dark water that still reflected the pinks and purples of cosmos, yet it also raining the same dark liquid.
He groans quietly, a soft, barely perceptible splish beside him and the sound of a fire going out, yet as his senses return to him in full force, he hears the pattering of rain falling against water, but what he focuses on most are the sounds of burning just ahead of him. Opening his eyes, widening once he sees it. The Astral Express car that he and Caelus came down to Amphoreus on in flames.
He attempts to lift himself up in a panic, that desperate memory of Caelus lying in his arms bloodied in gold as he tried to hard to save him returning to the forefront of his mind, but his body, weak from the fall and roller-coaster of emotions that this journey has brought him weighing him back down.
“It looks like.. you’re all alone…”
“No… No, I’m not,” Dan Heng mumbled to himself, breathing shaky as he used the rest of his strength to lift himself up, chest heaving and clenching painfully as he continues to hear the burning flames, the rain doing nothing to douse the fire.
He denies the words that faintly reverberate through his mind, denying it again and again, yet the stress and fatigue from a thousand years, perhaps, welling up in his mind, his hands on whatever ground is beneath him balling up into fists raising in the air as he stares down at the watery floor, the dark liquid he was laying in dripping back down into the pool beneath him and heated pins poking at his eyes, his right hand tightens as his thoughts had finally begun to go haywire, he starts to bring down his fist with all the strength he could muster at this point, with full intent to break through it until it gives him back his beloved but it only makes it halfway before a hand wraps gently around his wrist.
Dan Heng pauses, making no movement to see who’s hand it is as the warmth of the hand invades his senses, as do the memories he held onto so dearly this whole time.
“Dan Heng?” That gentle, alluring voice he had been searching for calls out.
Another hand places itself against his right shoulder. “It’s alright, Dan Heng. It may have been a hard journey, but you’ll get through it. Just remember you can always rely on us if things get too hard,” the senior’s thoughtful voice reminded.
A hand on his left shoulder. “Come on, Dan Heng. Now’s not the time to give up – we’ve still got a whole lifetime of journeys ahead of us!” That cheerful voice chirped excitedly.
A hand on his left arm. “You’re a tough person, Dan Heng. You do things on your own all the time, but we’re a family. There’s no harm in letting us help you once in a while,” the calm, meticulous voice encouraged.
His companions. His family. Those always there for him and each other, no matter what.
And because of them…
“I have never lost my way home.”
That photo he took earlier now lays in front of him him, edges a little frayed yet fully intact. Picking it up as the physical presences around him dissipate, yet the memories of their spirits remaining, he stares at it for a moment longer, regaining his strength and recomposing himself as he holds it closer to his chest. “So this time. I shall Trailblaze their path forward.”
“So you do love us!~” March teased with a giggle, her eyes not a pink and blue, but dark-grey and red, yet full of life and friendliness – just as she was before.
Caelus chuckled nervously, a wide grin on his face, yet guilt faintly in his lively golden eyes, even as he glances at March. “He always has, March. I’m surprised you never noticed it.”
March scoffed, turning to Caelus with an offended expression on her face. “What?! I so have, what are you talking about!? I was just saying because he has never outright admitted it to our faces!”
The bickerings resume, painting a small smile on Dan Heng’s face. He’s missed this, he admits to himself. Although… Their little argument being about him makes him feel a little embarrassed.
“That's enough you two,” Dan Heng interrupts, yet the two enthusiastic Trailblazers appear to be deep within their debates to have paid attention to his words.
Sighing softly with a slight tilt of his head to the side, he briefly glances at the large body of water under the docks they're sitting at, the rising sun in the distance lingering while a ship is faintly gliding over the reflective surface. And with a light flick of his hand, index and middle finger pointed up straight, the water follows the motion of his hand, crashing onto March and Caelus, the back-splash getting onto Dan Heng.
The two aforementioned gasp as they get water dumped on them, but it effectively stopped their argument. Dan Heng’s smile turns into a small smirk, a corner of his lip lifting slightly further, even if March is staring at him with a playfully murderous look and Caelus just has a baffled expression.
“You did not just do that!” March exclaimed, yet no hint of irritation or frustration in her voice as her gawking mouth stretched into a faint mischievous grin.
Caelus began quietly snickering, covering his mouth as he leans forward to see both of expressions – yet his gaze lingering on Dan Heng’s smiling face. “I believe I just did,” the latter replies nonchalantly, yet mirth in his gold-tinted blue eyes.
“So we’re playing that game,” she mumbles leaning forward as she cups her gloved hands under the water, turning her head toward the raven-haired with a look of jesting-revenge. Dan Heng already had a inkling on what she was about to do, being of which was correct as she flung her hands over her shoulders into Dan Heng’s face, who flinched slightly at the semi-cool water splashing against his skin.
Caelus broke into full-blown laughter, leaning forward as his other arm he wraps over his stomach, the hand covering his mouth still is. March cupped water into her hands again, proceeding to throw it her other shoulder at Caelus, causing him to pause his laughter for a moment, glazing at the rosy-pink-haired with wide but amused eyes, before falling back into laughter – somehow laughing harder.
March began giggling with him, his laughter infecting her as giggles quickly turned to her own chest and shoulders shaking with genuine laughter, leaning up more so she lean on the grey-haired’s shoulder, their merriment seeming as if synced.
Dan Heng himself let out a few chuckles, their energy irresistible as his lips curve into the widest smile he’s probably ever made with a soft gaze, watching the both of them struggle to catch their breath yet continuing causing each other to laugh more, the moment much similar to how the both of them were when the grey-haired Trailblazer first boarded the Astral Express and became one of the Nameless.
One might wonder if this all was worth the thousand-year long trek full of mental anguish and trauma to save his beloved and family…
His answer? Yes.
Always.