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The servant interrupting had the brief effect of taking the attention off Baela— not that she could truly appreciate it with her worry for Joffrey. An incident could mean a lot of things but considering they had not been Kings Landing more than a day it was impressive that Joffrey found trouble so quickly.
Rhaenyra excused herself as soon as it was realized that the servant really had no information other than that it had happened. Jace glanced at her to see if she was coming and she stood, because obviously she was, but Grandmother grabbed her by the arm.
"Stay dear," Grandmother said, tugging her back into her seat. "Let them handle this." Baela whirled around, yanking her arm out of her grandmother's grip.
"Why should I?" she spat although a part of her already knew why.
"You shouldn't stress yourself," Grandmother said, her voice gentle in a way that grated on Baela. She would stress herself with whatever she damn pleased. Obviously she did not want to do anything that would genuinely hurt the babe but she had feared thar this was how it would be.
She looked at Jace and could tell that he was itching to go to Joff even as he was waiting for her. She held in a sigh. As much as she wanted to go figure out what was wrong with Joffrey she was not truly needed. Joffrey would by far prefer Jace's presence to hers and her grandmother did not seem to want to let her go without a fight.
She inclined her head to Jace, silently telling him to go and he glanced between her and her grandmother once more before giving in. He kissed her quickly and then left.
Baela turned to her grandmother. "Happy?" she snapped, slumping down in her seat. It was probably childish but she couldn't help it.
"I only meant you must think of more than yourself now, you can't just chase every bit of drama for the fun of it," Grandmother said plainly.
"It's not drama, it's my brother." And because she recognized the look on her face, she added, "By both law and marriage."
Grandmother pursed her lips. "Yes, I suppose," she admitted. Baela tried not to relish in the reluctance she spoke it with. "But you will come to Driftmark so my maester can look at you."
"I will not," Baela said indignantly. "Dragonstone's maester has already confirmed all is well with the babe." It was only the slightest lie. She had gone to the maester to confirm she was pregnant and for help with her sickness occasionally but not for the babe. But surely she would know if there was something wrong with it and she was certainly not going to Driftmark's maester.
Grandmother raised her eyebrows. "And do you trust this maester?"
"I would not go near a maester I don't trust." Neither would Jace allow a maester in Dragonstone at all if he thought there was anything suspicious about him but that felt obvious. "Why are you being like this Grandmother?" she asked. "Can't you just be happy?"
Grandmother's face softened. "Oh, dear," she said. "Of course I am happy." Baela had never doubted that but her grandmother could never just act like it. She always had to be something else, offer an opinion that was unwanted. "I only wish for you to be well."
"I am well," Baela said. She probably should have left it at that but she was still bitter about being made to stay in Rhaenyra's solar. "I would be better if I was in the yard and knew what was wrong with Joffrey. Now I shall simply have to stress until someone comes and tells me."
Grandmother sighed. "I'm sure it was nothing serious and they'll be back soon. Stress isn't good in your condition."
Baela rolled her eyes. "I am well aware, Grandmother. I'm sure everybody would love for me to be confined to my bed already." It was one of the many reasons she had avoided telling people for so long. They would all act different. As far as the court was concerned she was the least important part of her now, and even Grandmother was more concerned with the babe than her. The only people who didn't treat her different was Rhaena— though she was probably more excited for the babe than Baela— and Jace, who she could often visibly see resisting the urge to dote.
"Don't put words in my mouth," Grandmother scolded. Baela crossed her arms. "With your mother—"
Baela stiffened. "Don't," she warned, her voice trembling from something she couldn't name. She did not need reminders, she remembered well enough herself even after all these years. The sound of her mother's screams, the way she'd sat with Rhaena, a terrible feeling growing in her gut and desperately reminding herself that these things could take a while. How her father had refused to let them see her and she hadn't understood why, not until later. She'd never seen her, not until her casket dropped into the sea forever.
Grandmother took Baela's hands, and Baela wanted to pull them away, to wrap them around herself and her babe but she didn't. She let her grandmother hold them in her warm, creased hands. "It is my greatest regret that I was not there for your mother when she was with child. Either time. I would like to be there for you."
"Perhaps there was a reason my mother didn't come home for her births," Baela sniffed, even as she knew it was a low blow. But she couldn't stop herself. "If you would have been like this."
It worked. Grandmother's face hardened. "It was your father who would not let her—"
"Mother ran away too. She ran all the way across the Narrow Sea to get away from what you and Grandfather would have forced her to do."
"Corlys would have never let her actually marry that pathetic sealord," Grandmother scoffed. "Your mother knew that."
Did she? Baela almost asked. She'd never thought too hard about the circumstances in which her parents fled to Pentos, and while part of the reason was surely her father's exile, her mother must have wanted to as well.
It was silent for a moment, before finally Grandmother said, "Will you not even consider coming to Driftmark for the birth?"
Baela stared at her grandmother, looking for something although she wasn't sure what. "Does that invitation extend to my husband?" She would not have Grandmother being petty about that during such a time.
To her grandmother's credit, she barely hesitated. "Yes, dear."
Baela shrugged. "Then perhaps when I'm closer I'll consider letting you come to Dragonstone." She's sure her Grandmother's face twisted into some form of outrage but Baela stood. She would not get anywhere with her grandmother, not today, perhaps not ever and she could not bear to deal with her any longer. "If you hear anything about Joffrey, please send someone for me," she said and left the solar.
She wasn't exactly sure where she was going except she was furious and restless. If she was at Dragonstone she might've gone flying but it would be such a pain to get to the Dragonpit and she might miss any news. If she went to her chambers she'd only be upset and stuck and missing Jace until he came back.
Her sister though, should be around somewhere. So Baela went to Rhaena's chambers.
She didn't bother knocking, opening her sister's door to find her curled up on a couch, embroidering. Rhaena didn't look surprised to see Baela, merely lifted her embroidery out of the way so that when Baela threw herself onto the couch she didn't find a needle in her hair. Her head ended up in Rhaena's lap, her face pressed against her stomach.
"Baela?" Rhaena asked, concerned. Baela groaned in response. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could just forget about her entire conversation with her grandmother if she tried hard enough.
"I don't know how you live with her all the time," she complained.
Rhaena hummed, not needing Baela to specify who. "You did too. Longer than I have."
"I swear she was not this annoying then." She'd certainly had opinions about what Baela should and should not be doing but they'd seemed more… reasonable.
"I'm guessing you told her about the babe then?" Rhaena said. Baela scowled and turned so she was on her back and peeled open her eyes. Rhaena had resumed her embroidery right above Baela's face, her needle passing through the fabric only inches from her nose.
"She wants me to go to Driftmark for the birth! As if," she scoffed.
She could see Rhaena frown. "That's nonsensical. It'd be far easier for her to come to Dragonstone."
"She's not coming at all at this rate," Baela grumbled, closing her eyes again. The couch was rather comfortable and her anger and frustration was bleeding out of her slowly.
"Ignore her then," Rhaena said. "Does this mean I can start making things for the babe?"
She sounded excited about it, which Baela could not pretend to understand but she did suppose it was normal to make things for babes. "Sure."
"Good, because I've already started!" Rhaena chirped. Baela opened her eyes again and actually looked at what Rhaena was embroidering. She pulled at the corner of the fabric so she could see it and sure enough there was a red dragon curling around the corner.
"What is this?" Baela demanded.
Rhaena didn't even blink. "A blanket. I have even more at Driftmark."
"How many?" Baela asked incredulously. It had only been two months since she'd told Rhaena.
"Not all blankets," Rhaena admits, "but I think Grandmother was starting to think I might be with child."
Baela looked at Rhaena in surprise. Her sister was very much unmarried and if Grandmother thought she was pregnant, well Baela's surprised she was allowed out of Driftmark at all. "And she's not…" Baela gestured loosely.
"She keeps on calling on me very early in the morning, and has been getting more insistent with her marriage proposals," Rhaena said. Baela couldn't help but perk up at marriage proposals. "But maybe that's unrelated."
"What marriage proposals?" Baela demanded. Rhaena had never mentioned anything about marriage to her.
Rhaena tensed slightly beneath her, looking away. "I'm eight and ten now, Baela. I have to marry eventually." She didn't sound very convinced or happy about it though which made Baela frown.
"What about that Vale knight?" Baela asked. Not that she'd been very impressed by him the one time she'd met him at the war's end but Rhaena had seemed very invested in him and more than anything she wanted her sister to be happy.
"That was never realistic," Rhaena said, her voice upset. "I am heir to the richest house in Westeros, I cannot marry a— a poor second son from a minor house."
Her sewing had gotten more fierce and Baela did fear for her eyes a little right then. She realized that she could not even recall his name or what house he was from. "Rhaena—"
"Don't," Rhaena snapped. "Not all of us get to marry the— the love of our lives—" she cut herself off with a stifled sob.
Baela pushed the embroidery out of the way and sat up, pulling her sister into her arms.
Baela knew that she was lucky. That Jace had survived the war, even if it had been close that once, while Luke had not. That she could claim both love and duty for her marriage, while most women could only claim one.
"It's not fair," Baela agreed. Rhaena wasn't really crying but she was clinging to Baela all the same. "But Idaña, you deserve to be happy as well."
Rhaena sniffed, not really acknowledging her words. Baela felt her hand press against her stomach though, and Rhaena pause.
"What is this?" she asked indignantly. "You did not tell me you were showing!"
"I hardly think this counts as showing," Baela scoffed. She could hardly see the slight swell to her stomach and it was her stomach. It would only get bigger— a thought that made her suppress a grimace— so she didn't understand why everyone was so excited about this. "You can barely feel it."
"Well soon enough you'll be able to feel the babe," Rhaena said. "When you do you must write to me and describe it."
At that thought Baela could not stop herself from grimacing. She could hardly imagine what it would feel like, to feel something moving inside her. Sometimes when she thought about the fact that there was quite literally something growing in her, made her whole body feel foreign and wrong. To feel it move—
She felt terrible suddenly. She should be excited to feel the babe, to finally feel the proof of it living. But every time she thought about it for too long, her heart began to race and she could only think of her mother and she'd rather think of anything else at all. It was easier to just to not think of it, not seriously anyway.
"Or not," Rhaena said, sensing Baela's shift in mood. The warmth of her hand left Baela's stomach but she caught it and pressed it back, something about her sister's touch comforting.
"No, no," Baela said. She didn't want to disappoint Rhaena. "You shall… you shall come to Dragonstone, certainly for the birth but whenever you tire of Grandmother as well."
Rhaena frowned. "I wouldn't want to impose."
Baela rolled her eyes. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard,"
"I'm serious," Rhaena insisted. "You and Jace—"
"Would be thrilled to have you stay with us."
Rhaena sighed and Baela knew she had given in. "Grandmother might like me out of her hair for a bit. I think she's still upset that you turned down Driftmark and she's stuck with me instead."
If Baela was not already angry with Grandmother she would be now. Rhaena said it so casually, like she didn't even care but Baela wasn't fooled. She'd always known that even before Luke had died Grandmother had wanted Baela to be Grandfather's heir. It had been the whole point for fostering her— and pointedly not fostering Luke.
It had left a bad taste in her mouth even when she was younger and just realizing why Grandmother despised her step brothers.
"You will be a far better Lady of the Tides than I ever could be," Baela said. "If Grandmother cannot see that then she is foolish."
Rhaena shrugged. "I suppose so."
Baela frowned. "I had thought that you were happy to be heir to Driftmark," she said. "If you aren't—"
"No I am," Rhaena interrupted. "I really am. It is just— I walk through the halls of High Tide and I can only think of Luke, and what could have been. And I thought I had gotten good at not thinking of it but last night as well—" Rhaena wiped at her eyes and and Baela pulled her closer.
Last night's dinner had been hard on everyone, she thought. She hadn't realized until they sat down but they hadn't had a large family dinner like that since before the war at least. Luke's absence had been loud and she knew Jace had felt it keenly.
"I'm sorry," Baela said, for lack of anything else to say. Sometimes Dragonstone was hard in that respect, a reminder of what there once was there but she knew it was nowhere close to how Driftmark must feel to Rhaena.
"I will get used to it I'm sure," Rhaena said, resting her head against Baela. "But— but maybe I shall take you up on your offer."
"If Grandmother asks why, you can tell her that I require your company during my pregnancy. Emphasize that she's not invited."
Rhaena giggled. "I'm not doing that Baela." Her hand on Baela's stomach shifted as if trying to feel for the babe which Baela knew she couldn't do yet. "What do you think they will be? A boy or a girl?" Rhaena asked.
"I don't know," Baela said, her brows furrowing. "I haven't thought about it."
"Well what does it feel like?"
It didn't feel like anything. Was she supposed to? She did suppose that was a thing, having a sense of what the babe may be like. Rhaenyra had been certain in all her pregnancies about their gender. "I don't know."
"I think a girl would be nice," Rhaena said airily. "We have a lot of boys already." She looked up at Baela suggestively. She began whispering to Baela's stomach in High Valyrian, low enough Baela couldn't hear anything except tala.
Baela snorted. "You're worse than Jace."
"I don't believe that," Rhaena said without looking up.
She wasn't wrong. Jace loved to put his hand on her stomach and talk to the babe and has since she told him she was pregnant. It would maybe get annoying to some but it was terribly endearing to Baela. It was perhaps helped by the ability to imagine Jace once the babe was actually here. One with his hair or maybe his eyes. Him talking to them— or her, as Rhaena wanted— entertaining them, holding them like he does Joffrey or Egg or Vis.
It was a very attractive image, only adding on to the want she had felt so much more since she'd been with child. She hadn't known that was a side effect of pregnancy but she hardly minded. Jace was always more than willing to indulge her. She'd had— not a worry, but a passing concern perhaps— that maybe as the effects of pregnancy became more obvious he'd not be so willing. She'd never really believed it, and the evidence didn't support it either. She'd begun to suspect that he liked what it was doing to her in fact. Liked the swell of her stomach for more than just the child inside it.
"Have you really not thought about it?" Rhaena asked quietly, breaking Baela out of her thoughts of Jace.
Baela hesitated. "It's not… It's not entirely felt real. I'm not sure it does now." She picked up Rhaena's embroidery, inspecting the carefully stitched designs.
"Not all of them have dragons. I've put seahorses on some as well. And other things." Rhaena commented. "Also I've not just made blankets—" she flushed a little— "obviously."
"It's beautiful, Idaña," Baela said. All her sister's sewing was. The stitches were even and neat, much better than Baela's ever has been.
Rhaena smiled. "I'd figured if left up to you she'd be swaddled in the old blankets you dug out of storage."
Considering Baela had not even thought about that, she wasn't entirely wrong. There was certainly plenty from all of her brothers, but that was hardly appropriate. "Well now she shall be swaddled in the most beautiful blankets in the realm," Baela declared. "Made by her dearest muña."
Rhaena's cheeks pinked. "That is hardly true. My stitches are all messy there—" she pointed but Baela could not for the life of her see what she meant— "and it's far from perfect, let alone most beautiful in the realm."
"Jace will love it when he sees it," Baela continued ignoring Rhaena's self-deprecation. "He will—"
"Where is he?" Rhaena asked, changing the subject suddenly. "Surely he would have told off Grandmother for you?"
Baela groaned and sunk down into the cushions, reminded of the situation. "I don't know." It had been long enough that if it truly wasn't anything serious she would have heard something but still there had been nothing. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong and she mentally cursed Grandmother for not letting her go see.
"Perhaps he thought you'd be in your chambers and is there," Rhaena suggested once Baela had explained the situation. "You know Joffrey. He probably smacked some noble son over head, and Jace just had to soothe some hurt feelings."
"You're probably right," Baela conceded. It was possible that was what happened. Something in her just didn't believe it. "I should go check." Baela untangled herself from Rhaena and stood. Rhaena shooed her off quickly, citing that she wanted to keep working on her sewing and that Baela was a distraction, although more likely she just sensed Baela's need to go check now that she'd had the thought to.
She heard voices as she opened the door to their chambers, and for a moment thought that Rhaena was right but it was only maids, frozen mid-cleaning. Baela tried to not let her face contort into a scowl but unsurprisingly failed. "Leave," she snapped.
The maids hurriedly curtsied and left with a murmured princess that made Baela feel a little guilty. She didn't mean to be irate with maids, it was hardly their fault Jace wasn't here, but still she was irritated. She just wanted to know what had happened. She wanted Jace. She had neither.
She threw herself on the bed with enough force to make it creak, buried her face in the pillows and screamed as loud as she could.
Her throat ached when she was done but her mood had not improved one bit. This is certainly not good for the babe, she thought viciously, but even as she did she felt guilty. She didn't want to do anything to hurt the babe, no matter her spite.
Baela sighed and rolled onto her back, placing her hand on her stomach, feeling the gentle swell of it. The subtle proof of the life within it.
"Are you a girl?" she wondered aloud, and immediately felt a little stupid but forced the feeling away. It was not stupid. She could talk to her babe all she wanted, anyone listening be damned.
Unbidden, the thought of a little girl with Jace's dark curls, maybe the slope of his nose or his smile, came to her and she wanted it so badly she felt breathless.
She was no stranger to children, not with three younger brothers, and certainly not with Joffrey living with them the past few moons but there was something that seemed so special about a child that was hers and Jace's all the sudden. Their child, their daughter, something made from both of them.
"I think you are a girl," she grinned. "Just wait until your kepa hears that. She could picture his reaction clearly. The way he'd be so happy, smile so wide and with sheer joy.
Now if only he would come back so she could tell him.
She lay there in the haze of her realization for a while, an odd part of her certain that Jace would walk through the doors any moment now. But as she watched the sun begin to dip through the windows she grew frustrated. She paced the room for a while, eventually calling for dinner to be brought.
She looked on as the maids laid the food on the small table in their chambers, setting it for two, she realized. It was stupid how much she missed him. It was not even a half day, and they often spent their days apart anyways. This was no different. But something really must be keeping him if he still wasn't back. He almost always came back for dinner.
She stopped one of the maids as they were leaving. "There was an incident in the training yard this afternoon with Prince Joffrey," Baela said. "Have you heard anything about it?"
The maid shook her head looking a little frightful for a reason Baela couldn't tell. "No, Princess," she said, "I- I have not heard anything."
Baela looked at the other maid. "And you?"
"I heard of it Princess, but nothing about what happened."
"Thank you,"Baela sighed, dismissing them. Maybe it was not so serious if the servants didn't know anything. They were usually a sure source of gossip or scandal.
She hadn't thought she was very hungry but as soon as the first bit of food passed her lips she realized she was starving. Most likely because she hadn't eaten much at lunch, a combination of her pregnancy sickness and perhaps nerves unsettling her stomach at the time.
She scarfed down her food, and then stared at the food set out for Jace. If he wanted dinner, he should have come back in time for it, she decided and then ate all of his food too.
When she was finally full, she laid on their bed for lack of anything better to do. There was nothing to distract her from her stress about where Jace was or what had happened with Joffrey.
Worse, there was nothing to distract her from her need. She could smell him on the sheets, could remember this morning when he'd been so attentive, which only made her more frustrated. She did suppose she had hands but it wasn't the same. She didn't want her hands, she wanted Jace. He would have to come back eventually and then she would have him as much as she wanted.
But she waited and waited, long enough that her eyes began to droop and every blink lasted longer than the next. She must have fallen asleep eventually because she woke up to someone climbing into the bed next to her and she knew who it was without even looking. "Jace?"
"Ābrazȳrys," he said.
"Where were you?" she asked, her voice slurring with sleep. "I waited." He answered but she didn't really care. What she cared about was that he was still just sitting there, and not joining her in bed like he ought to. So she reached out and pulled him in. He came easily, the warmth of his body pressing against hers. It was only then, with him so close that she noticed the way his breath hitched, as if holding in a sob, the wetness of his cheeks when she cupped his face, the way his whole body shook against her.
"Are you alright?" she asked, although she already knew the answer. Someone who was alright does not stumble into their chambers crying in the middle of the night. She pulled him even closer, his face against her neck and her arms around him. She heard him let out a long, trembling breath, and held him tighter until sleep took her again.
***
A knock on the door sounded and Baela groaned and burrowed back into bed. Jace would probably get it. He was always up before her.
Another knock. She rolled over and opened her eyes to find Jace still asleep, right next to her. Yet another knock came from the door and Baela climbed out of bed, leaving Jace to sleep. He was usually up around dawn, although he tended to linger in bed with her these days, and it was well past sunrise even now. It wasn't like him to still be asleep.
"Princess," A young maid said, when she opened the door. "Prince Jacaerys was supposed to have breakfast with the Queen this morning. Her Grace is waiting for him."
Baela looked back at Jace's curled up and sleeping form. His hair had fallen over his face, and even from here she could see he looked tired. He would want her to wake him up, but Baela couldn't bear the thought.
"Prince Jacaerys is still asleep," Baela told the maid. "If you could ask the Queen if she is amenable to lunch instead?"
The maid looked at her like she was insane but nodded and curtsied. Baela closed the door quietly and climbed back into bed. Jace stirred but she shushed him and pet at his hair until he settled back into sleep.
In truth, Baela didn't really care if Rhaenyra was okay with moving their meeting to lunch. He hadn't gotten back until late last night, Rhaenyra could not also have the morning as well.
She reveled in being able to watch him sleep, a rare occasion with his sleep habits and Baela's. The softness of his face, the way it twitched when she pressed a kiss to his nose. He had a small spattering of freckles across his nose that she had always liked to look at and she took her fill now. She didn't think she could ever tire of this, of just laying in bed with her husband. Not when there was a time she didn't know if she would ever get to do this.
She did not often think about how badly the war could have gone, how else it could have ended. But there was a time where so much had been uncertain. Where she had not been sure she would get to marry Jace, and he had not been sure he would even be alive at the end.
And suddenly she was so grateful that she could have this. These moments where nothing was truly expected of them, these slow and lazy mornings, this peace. She did not want to think of a world where she did not have this.
***
Jace left a little before midday to meet Rhaenyra and Baela got truly dressed for the day. She hadn't had a plan but having heard about what had actually happened with Joffrey yesterday— it was both better and worse than what she had feared— she thought she might visit him. It had not been exactly what she'd meant when she'd told Jace that he needed to tell Joffrey soon, but he had been right to do it then.
Even just the thought of what had supposedly been said made her blood boil.She wanted to track down the knight who had said it and drag him in front of Moondancer and then see how eagerly he'd repeat it. But it was not her place and she's sure somebody has already handled it.
All the same she still thought Joffrey would appreciate the company. She checked his room just in case, but just as she thought he wasn't there. However the only other place she could think to look for him was the training yard.
She shouldn't have been surprised to find her father in the yard, but she was, and even more surprised when he made a beeline for her as soon as he saw her.
"You're pregnant?" he asked, his voice low and tight. He seemed upset and angry, but she couldn't fathom why. Something about it still set her on edge. She didn't care what he thought.
"Yes," she said stiffly. "Three moons now." She glanced around the yard. This was really not the best place to be having this conversation, not if they wanted to keep it secret from the court a little longer.
"And you did not think to tell me?" he demanded. "I had to learn that my daughter was with child from Rhaenys."
"I don't know why," Baela shrugged, "Your wife knew as well."
Something flashed across his face that Baela realized with sudden clarity was hurt.
It hadn't been on purpose, not telling him. Admittedly, she just hadn't thought of it. Obviously they were telling Rhaenyra, and Grandmother was nosy, she'd have found out sooner than later. He would be told one way or another, and it just hadn't seemed very important.
"So you did not plan to tell me that I would be a grandfather at all?" he asked.
She furrowed her brows. "I did not think you would care this much," She knew that it was perhaps cruel, but she could not find it in her to coddle her father's ego.
She might as well have slapped him from how hurt he looked. She did not think he meant to look it either because it quickly twisted into a scowl.
"Congratulations, then," he snappedand stalked back to the knights he had been sparring with before. She did briefly feel sorry for them. If he hadn't been in a foul mood before, he was now.
Baela sighed. That was not what she meant to do. But it was a little late for that.
She checked the nursery next, because it was the only other place she could think Joffrey could be. She heard several voices as she approached the nursery and opening the door confirmed she was right. All three boys— Joffrey, Aegon and Viserys— were sitting in a close circle, a nursemaid standing to the side watching over them.
They all turned to her when she entered, and she didn't even get to ask them what they were up to before they were huddled together again and arguing in loud whispers about whether or not she was allowed to know what they were doing.
After a minute Joffrey turned and beckoned her over— clearly she'd been accepted. She sat on the ground in between Vis and Egg, feeling quite tall among the children.
"We're planning revenge," Viserys said conspiratorially
"Revenge?" Baela repeated trying not to sound too concerned. "On who?"
"Derrick," Joffrey said, as if that was obvious. "He's the worst."
She had a gut feeling who Derrick was, but went to ask anyway. Before she could though, Aegon beat her to it. "He hit Joffrey. And he said things," he explained.
Baela looked back at Joffrey. There was a scowl on his small face, that looked far too serious for him. She'd guess that Derrick was the boy who'd called Joffrey a bastard the day before.
She didn't feel altogether much sympathy for him but the combined force of all three of her brothers wasn't something she would wish on most people. Which meant she should probably put a stop to the boys' planning, entertaining as it was. "Derrick will face consequences without you all helping," she said. "Leave revenge to the adults."
Aegon's face fell but Joffrey only grew more determined. "He said things about Luke," he said. "I hit him but only once. That's why we need revenge."
Jace hadn't mentioned that— if he knew at all— but Baela was sure that it hadn't been particularly kind words. The mood had fallen drastically among the boys at the mention of Luke, even Viserys looked upset. She brushed her hand through Aegon's hair and pulled him into her. He came easily, leaning into her comforting touch. "It will be dealt with," she insisted. "Jace is talking with your mother now, probably about that."
Viserys nodded seriously, taking that as enough, and she felt Aegon nod against her as well but Joffrey only frowned more. "Do you not have lessons right now Egg?" she asked. She didn't know, but it seemed like a good guess and she clearly needed to talk with Joffrey— preferably alone.
Aegon stiffened against her— meaning she was right— and the nursemaid helpfully piped up, "He does, Princess. He did not want to go this morning."
Aegon pulled away from her, shame-faced. "I wanted to help Joffrey," he explained.
Baela had to bite back a smile. "It's alright, but why don't you go now?"
"I want to go to lessons!" Vis exclaimed. "Can I go Baela?" He was definitely to young to have any of his own but if he wanted to go with Aegon, there was no reason to not let him go.
The nursemaid took both of them to lessons and then Baela was left alone with Joffrey. He wasn't quite looking at her, probably having guessed what she wanted to talk about. Baela scooted across the floor to be nearer to him. "Joffrey," she started but he interrupted immediately.
"He deserves it." He still wasn't really looking at her.
"I believe it," she said gently. "But there are other things you're upset about."
"Jace said I probably wouldn't see him again," Joffrey said, both a question and a statement.
"Well yes," she answered. "Because presumably you'll be coming back to Dragonstone with us but he might leave court altogether as well." Joffrey didn't seem comforted by the words and looked just as upset and angry. "I know what you and Jace talked about yesterday," she said, cutting to the chase. "It's understandable if you were still upset about that."
Joffrey stared at her for a long moment. "I didn't even care when Derrick said that about me," he admitted. "And I should have?"
"No," Baela assured him. "It doesn't mean anything."
"But it does," Joffrey insisted. "Jace was upset by it. So was Mother."
Baela did not know what to say. Of course both Jace and Rhaenyra were upset by it, why wouldn't they be? But she didn't want Joffrey to be if he wasn't. "It will always mean something to other people. It doesn't have to mean anything to you," she said eventually.
Joffrey's shoulders finally slumped and the anger bled out of him. Baela took the chance to reach for him and pull him into her. "How?" he asked and he sounded so tired and sad, her heart hurt.
She could only think of Jace, of how much it bleeds into his every action, his every thought. She could not imagine Jace in a world where he was not shadowed by it. "I don't know," she admitted and she could tell it wasn't the answer he wanted. "But I know that it doesn't matter to me. Not with Jace and not with you. Nor does it matter with the rest of our family"
Joffrey nodded. He didn't seem entirely convinced but Baela didn't think she could convince him anymore. Hopefully if he had any more concerns he would come to either her or Jace.
"I was thinking that we might go flying," she said conversationally and he immediately perked up. "If you wanted," she added although she knew, that of course he wanted to.
"Yes," he gasped excitedly. "I do!"
Baela stood, smiling. "Come on then, let's get changed."
It really was such a pain to have to travel all the way to the Dragonpit just to go flying but she managed. Joffrey, like always, was thrilled the entire time, pressing against Baela as they flew and she commanded Moondancer into steeper and steeper dives. Eventually they landed, and Joffrey clung to her as they rode back to the keep. He wasn't tired but perhaps he could tell that she was suddenly exhausted. She did tend to find herself more tired recently, and right now she really just wanted to curl up in bed with Jace. He should be back from talking with Rhaenyra by now and once she's taken Joffrey back to his rooms she can go find him and drag him back to bed.
Of course, nothing could be that easy. Grandmother passed by them in the halls and Baela didn't even notice until she called out her name, she was so dead on her feet. She stopped and felt Joffrey press ever so slightly closer to her.
"Would you perhaps have time to talk?" Grandmother asked seeming almost hesitant. Baela blinked at her for a moment until the words registered.
"Let me take Joffrey back," she said. "Then yes."
Joffrey tugged on her hand. "I can go back myself," he offered. Baela looked between him and Grandmother for a moment. There really was no reason why Joffrey couldn't go back to his rooms himself, she supposed.
She knelt down to Joffrey."You know you can always come find me or Jace," she said quietly. "If you need anything, or need to talk about something." Joffrey nodded. "Good." She pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood again. Joffrey ran off— Baela had a feeling he wasn't going to his rooms but oh well— and she followed Grandmother to wherever she wanted to talk.
It ended up being the Tower of the Hand which was annoyingly far away from Maegor's holdfast. Baela slumped in one of the chairs in a way that would have made Grandmother scold her just a few years ago, but she didn't mention it now.
"I have been thinking," Grandmother said stiffly. "I… I perhaps owe you an apology."
Baela raised her brows. Apologizing was not something her grandmother usually did.
"I was presumptive," Grandmother continued. She looked distinctly uncomfortable in a way Baela hadn't ever seen before. "And I am sorry. I only want you to be happy."
Annoyance rose in Baela. "I am happy. I have told you this many times before yet you refuse to believe it."
"I believe it," Grandmother sighed.
"You wish it was someone with someone else then," Baela said. "But Jacaerys is my husband whether you like it or not."
"It is not about that either," Grandmother insisted. "I just don't wish to see you hurt."
"Jace would never hurt me," Baela said. "He could not." Jace physically couldn't bring himself to do anything he thought might hurt her, she knew.
Grandmother frowned. "Pregnancy changes things, dear. Mayhaps not yet, but eventually."
Baela shook her head vehemently. "It will not," she argued. "He has been nothing but attentive and thoughtful." She's not even sure how Grandmother could ever think that having seen the way she knows he looks at her. It's almost disgustingly lovesick and has somehow only gotten worse since she became with child.
Grandmother was silent for a moment, thoughtful. "That is good," she said eventually. "I will not ask you to come to Driftmark again but it is always open to you."
It was an odd thing to say, as Baela would usually assume she was welcome on Driftmark between her grandparents and her sister, but perhaps it was more the gesture of it.
"I have not thought much about the birth," she said hesitantly. "But I was serious when I said I would consider having you near."
Grandmother did not look entirely happy at that— she probably wanted more than to be considered— but Baela would not promise anything else. Not right now. Still she stiffly said, "I… appreciate that."
Baela stifled a yawn and resisted the urge to curl up and sleep right there on the chair. "You look tired, dear," Grandmother said. "You should go rest."
Baela might normally protest being told to go rest, but the thought of going back to her chambers was far too tempting. She sleepily agreed and bid goodbye to her grandmother, then promptly left.
The walk back to Maegor's Holdfast felt even longer but thankfully Jace was already in their chambers when she got there. She immediately went to him and let herself be pulled into his arms.
Every bit of tension leaked out of her, her eyes slipping shut as she rested her head against his chest. He brushed a hand loosely through her hair and she sighed contentedly.
"I want to go home," she mumbled. Dragonstone did not have fathers and grandmothers to bother her nor little boys to call Joffrey a bastard. Dragonstone did not require her to ride through the city just to see Moondancer. She had only been here three days and she was so very tired of the Red Keep.
"Tomorrow," Jace promised. "Clearly the keep is not good for the health of my wife."
She scowled. "The keep is not good for the health of anyone. You cannot breathe here." Not when there were so many people, who all wanted something— or worse, expected something from her.
"Lets go to bed, ābrazȳrys," Jace said gently.
She made a protesting noise. "I do not want to."
It was odd for her certainly as she usually demanded his attention before bed, but the thought of it at the moment seemed so unappealing compared to sleeping. Even just lying there and letting him see to her pleasure, as she did on nights when she was tired but still wanted him, seemed too much effort. She wasn't sure she could even move from this position, that was somehow both comfortable and uncomfortable simultaneously.
"I meant to sleep," he said, and she got the distinct feeling that he was amused but she couldn't bring herself to check.
"Oh," Baela yawned. "Yes then." He shifted beneath her then she was clinging to him as he picked her up and laid her gently on the bed. She dozed as he took her dress off, moving when he asked despite the monumental effort it took.
He moved away for a moment and she cracked an eye open to see him changing out of his clothes. Soon enough he was back in bed and she was in his arms and she gave up on trying to stay awake, slipping into a deep sleep.