Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hexgate Tower, Piltover…

“Always with you, sis.” Jinx suddenly reached up and knocked the gemstone out of Vi’s gauntlet.

Vi yelled as the powerless gauntlet fell from her grasp, her sister and their adoptive father falling with it. “Nooo!”

As she fell, Jinx looked up at her sister, a smile on her face and tears flying from her eyes.

At the same time, what was left of Vander pulled her towards him until they were facing each other.

As the furry shell of the man that had taken care of her, her sister, and their adoptive brothers for years before everything went wrong continued to hold her firmly in his metallic grasp, Jinx cupped his face and looked at it for what she knew would be the final time.

Tears continued to fly from Jinx’s eyes as memories of what once was flashed through her mind, before she reached behind her back with one hand and pulled out the same grenade that she had previously attempted to kill herself with. She gripped the pin with one hand and pulled it as she held the lever down with the other.

“Goodbye…Dad… I always loved you…and I always will…”

As Vander’s vacant eyes flicked to the grenade, his grip on Jinx loosened ever so slightly, allowing her to use the power given to her by the shimmer in her veins to move out of his reach, leaving the grenade behind and the lever unheld.

Jinx managed to use her powers to get into one of the ventilation ducts just as the bomb went off. The force of the combined explosion of the grenade that contained a gemstone and the power of the Hextech runes that granted the tower’s abilities ripped the duct that she was in open, nearly reaching her and sending debris flying. She let out a quick breath as it seemed like the danger had passed, but just as fast as the explosion had gone off and ended, air began to rush out of the duct, back towards the runes, and it was strong.

“Oh no, oh shit!” Jinx scrambled to try to get a grip on something, anything, but the smooth surface of the duct provided no such thing as she began to be pulled backwards. “No!” Jinx was suddenly ripped from the duct. 

The last thing she saw was the platform high above, where she had last seen her sister, before she was suddenly engulfed by blue light.

June 27th, 2010, 11:32p.m., The Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls…

Stan sighed as he approached the vending machine and spoke to himself.

“Another night, Stan. Another night of not enough sleep and making no progress in saving your brother…” He input the code to the hidden door like he had every night for years and then descended down the worn stairs hidden behind it.

Hours later, he was still inputting information into the portal’s control station, using the only journal he had as reference.

“Gah! It’s no use! Almost thirty years and I’ve gotten nowhere! At this rate, I’ll die of old age before I can get him back!” Stan slammed his fist down on the console in frustration.

Suddenly, Stan heard a whirring sound start to emit from the portal. He quickly looked at the triangular machine in the other room and saw that its lights had turned on and the centre began to become dark blue.

“It’s…it’s happening… It’s actually happening!” He practically jumped out of his seat and began running towards the door before suddenly stopping and looking at the fuel gadge. There wasn’t much, just the little amount he was able to steal without drawing too much attention to himself so he could attempt to get the portal to work. It shouldn’t have been enough. 

Stan then ran out to where the lever was in front of the portal. “Come on, Ford… Come on…” 

As the portal seemed to reach full power, Stan could hear a voice, but it wasn’t his brother’s, it was a woman’s.

“AAAHHHH!”

“Wait, what?” A body suddenly came flying through the portal and crashed into Stan, knocking him to the ground. “What the- OOF!”

After a few moments, Stan sat up, rubbing the part of his head that had hit the ground the hardest.

“Hot Belgian Waffles… Wait, Ford!” He quickly stood up and ran towards the other person who was now in the room. “Ford! I can’t believe it! After all this time I- I… What..?”

The body in front of him was not his brother’s. Instead, it was a thin, shorter, blue haired woman who was covered in paint and dirt and that couldn’t have been much more than twenty years old, if she was even that old.

“What… I…I…I don’t understand! Where’s Ford?!”

Jinx suddenly seemed to regain consciousness and her pink eyes immediately locked onto Stan as they opened. She practically scrambled to move away from the old man who was standing over her. “W-what- W-where the fuck am I?!”

Stan could see the fear and confusion in the woman’s eyes and what looked like fresh tears on her cheeks. Despite his frustration and desperation to know the answers to his questions, he realized that he first needed to get the woman to calm down.

“Woah, easy, Kid, easy. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jinx continued moving away until her back was against the now inactive portal. For the first time in a while, she saw the colourful hallucinations that had haunted her for years.

Stan slowly approached as the woman slowly began to calm down. He held out a hand to shake hers.

“The name’s Stan. Stan Pines.”

Jinx’s eyes flicked from Stan’s face, to his outstretched hand, and then back to his face as the hallucinations slowly dissipated. “…Jinx…”, she said, not shaking his hand.

“Are you, uh, are you lost, Jinx?”

“I…I don’t know…”

“Well, where are you supposed to be?”

“Zaun... Actually, I should be in Piltover right now… Or dead…”

“Lawn and Built-over? Never heard of them.”

“Zaun and Piltover. I think everyone in Runeterra has heard of Piltover by now.”

“Rune-whatta? Kid, I don't know how to tell you this, but you just came through a portal to other dimensions. I may not be the smartest guy around, but I’m pretty sure you’re really far from home.” 

Jinx looked up at him with a surprised expression and then turned her head to look at the portal.

“…What the fuck…” She then stood up and looked around the room. There was all sorts of technology that she didn’t recognize. Her gaze then returned to Stan and an awkward silence filled the air.

“You, uh…hungry or something?”,  he asked after a moment.

5:04a.m., Mystery Shack Kitchen...

Beep!

Stan opened the microwave and pulled out a plate of food.

“Here, Kid.”, he said as he set it down on the table in front of Jinx before sitting down across from her.

Jinx cautiously picked up a fork and took a bite.

“It’s not much, but it’s…” Stan trailed off as Jinx began eating very quickly. “Geez, Kid. Slow down before you make yourself sick. Have you not eaten all day or something?”

Jinx swallowed the last bite. “Sometimes I don’t.”

“Well…there’s a bit more in the fridge.”, he said, lying about the quantity, not wanting to give a stranger free reign to eat all of his food.

As Stan took her plate and went to the fridge to get some more food, Jinx looked out the window. It was mostly dark outside, but the sun was just beginning to rise, illuminating something that made Jinx’s eyes widen. She slowly stood up and walked towards the gift shop where she could remember seeing a door leading outside. Her movements caught Stan’s attention.

“Kid? Where are you going?”

Stan decided to search for her after a few minutes. He eventually found her standing outside, slowly looking around at the illuminated treetops.

“Uh, Kid, you alright?”

“…I’ve never seen so many before…”

“So many what? Trees? They don’t have trees where you’re from?”

“One…in Zaun. There’s more in Piltover…” Jinx took a deep breath. “The air…it’s different too…”

Jinx had finally gone back into the shack after staying outside for a while.

Despite previously lying about not having much in the fridge, Stan let Jinx eat as much as she wanted. Between what she had said, how she ate and how unhealthily pale she looked, he could tell that she needed it. Hunger was something that he had become more than familiar with at one point in his life, and even though he didn’t know the specifics of Jinx’s situation, he knew it was never a good feeling.

Once Jinx had finished, Stan gave her a few moments before questioning her.

“So, uh, Kid… You wouldn’t happen to have seen a guy wherever you’re from that looks like me, has six fingers on each hand, is a know-it-all? He goes by Ford.”

Jinx, who was much more relaxed than when she had first arrived, simply shrugged. “Nope. Never.”

Stan tiredly sighed. “After almost thirty years, I finally get that damn portal working enough for someone to come through, but it isn’t the person I’m looking for…”

“Hold on…you were trying to bring someone else from somewhere…at the same time that I got pulled towards the… Shit…”

“Yeah, and I don’t really know how to make it work again.”

“So…I need to somehow find my way back…”

“I, uh…I don’t suppose you happen to know anything about portals or dimension travel stuff?”, asked Stan.

“No… I know someone who does though…”

“Fantastic! We can get them to help!” Jinx raised an eyebrow. “Oh…right…”

“I guess you don’t know anyone.”

“One. But he’s the one I’m trying to get back.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. Jinx had just started to fiddle with her prosthetic finger to distract herself from the reality of the situation she was now in when Stan finally spoke again.

“Do you know anything about complex machines and doohickies?” Jinx reached behind her back and pulled out the last grenade she had.

Stan’s eyes widened as he saw it, immediately recognizing it despite how different it looked from what he had seen over the years. “Is…is that a…”

“Yep. I’ve made them since I was…I don’t know, ten, maybe. Guns too.”

“Yeesh. Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“Alright, look,”, said Stan, breaking yet another silent moment that had filled the air. “the way I see it is we both need that portal working. I need my brother, and you need to get home. So-”

“Let me guess, you want my help?”

Stan smirked. “Yeah, you help me get my brother back, and then he can help you get home. It’s just me, so there’s definitely a room for you to stay in here. You already know where the food is.”

“…What’s the catch?”

Stan smirked again and thought to himself. “This kid reminds me of me.” “You can help me and Soos around the shack. I need someone in the gift shop for now since I fired the last guy for skimming off the top. And no weapons, I don’t need the attention from the cops.”

“Mm…some weapons.”

“No bombs or actual guns, we can discuss other stuff later.”

“…Just so we’re on the same page, you aren’t going to turn out to be some sort of fucked up pervert or-”

“Woah! Kid, I’m a lot of things, plenty are bad, but I’m not a monster.”

Jinx seemed to think for a moment before slowly extending her left hand.

“I don’t have much choice. But, I’ll warn you, I can be…a lot.”

Despite the warning, Stan didn’t hesitate to extend his own hand and shake hers. “Heh, you’ll fit right in around here. Just wait ‘till you meet the rest of the town. Speaking of which, even though most of ‘em are dumber than me, we’re gonna need to come up with some sort of story about why you're here that isn’t…”

“Completely insane?”

“Yeah, that. I’ll get a fake ID for you too. It’s easy enough, I just need your last name.”

“My last name? …I don’t know what it is…”

“You don’t know your last name? Seriously?”

“Most people from Zaun don’t have one.”

“Well, I guess you get to pick one then.”

After thinking for a few moments, an idea formed in Jinx’s mind that would solve two problems, but also carried some emotional baggage with it.

“What did you say yours was?”

Stan quickly caught on to what she was thinking. “Pines. I think we’re gonna get along just fine, Kid.”

May 30th, 2012, 12:38p.m., Gravity Falls Mall…

Jinx stepped out of “Popular Subject” carrying a bag of stuff that she had found on clearance. She looked different now compared to when she had emerged from the portal nearly two years prior.

Jinx’s previously short hair was now in two braids that reached just below her shoulders. Her paint and dirt covered top and pants that she wore during the battle had long since been replaced with dark blue cargo pants, which she had somehow managed to partially dye pink, and a faded black short-sleeved crop top, which covered more than the one she had worn for years, mostly to combat the climate of the town. She still wore the same boots though, but now they had been resoled, the paint had mostly worn off and she had returned to wearing them partially unlaced. Finishing off the look was an old, worn belt (which she had stolen from Stan) with a red Tapeman Action cassette player on her right hip, the headphones for which were threaded beneath her shirt and hung on her neck, and a holster hung on her left side that contained a paintball pistol that she had designed and built herself. Her skin had also become slightly less pale and the pink in her eyes from the shimmer had dulled.

She walked towards the food court and saw Stan standing at a payphone, handset in one hand and drink in the other. She slowly crept up to him until she could hear the conversation he was having.

“No, no, it won’t be any trouble. Of course there’s space for them. After all, the only people that live in the house are Jinx and I. Yeah, my daughter, you met her at Christmas the last two years. Yes, I’m sure she’s actually mine. I’m sure they’ll get along fine, don’t worry about it. Yeah. Uh huh. Just give me a call when you book the bus tickets. Bye.” 

As soon as Stan hung up the phone, Jinx started running towards him and jumped.

“Incoming!”

Stan barely managed to brace himself before Jinx landed on his back, wrapping her legs around his waist and an arm over his shoulder. “Geez, Kid, didn’t I ask for a little more warning?”

“At least you got any this time.”

Stan sighed.

“What do you have there?”, asked Jinx, motioning towards the drink in Stan’s hand.

“A smoothie.” After a moment, Stan sighed and raised the drink so the straw was within reach of Jinx’s mouth, knowing what her next question would be. Jinx happily took a sip before Stan pulled it away again. 

“So, who was that?”, asked Jinx.

“My nephew. He’s sending his kids up to stay with us for the summer.”

Jinx lost her grip for a second and had to shift herself to avoid falling off of Stan. “Uh, why?”

“He and his wife are going through a rough patch and they don’t want the kids to be there to listen to them. Did you get everything you wanted?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Stan began walking towards the exit with Jinx still on his back.

“So… What does those two coming mean for you know what?”, asked Jinx as she and Stan got into the Stanmobile.

Stan paused for a moment before starting the engine. “Nothing. We don’t stop trying to bring him back. But, I need you to keep an eye on the kids. You know how crazy things are around this town, I don’t want them getting in trouble.”

At the mention of watching over the two preteens, a memory of Isha flashed through Jinx’s mind, but she managed to force it out of focus. “I’m not a babysitter. Besides, do you really think they would be safer with me, especially with the shit that I’ve done?”

“Kid, I don't know a lot of what you’ve done, you haven’t told me. But yeah, I do. And please, for both our sakes, watch your language around them too. I know you don’t swear much, but just stick to the words we use around the tourists.”

Jinx remained silent and looked out the window as she thought about what Stan had said. He was right, she hadn’t told him much about her life, and for good reason. She knew that if he knew, she would be out of the house faster than she could count even a third of the number of people she had killed over the years, not to mention all the other things she did. She pushed the thoughts away.

“Fine, but you owe me some new cassettes.”

“I’ll pay for them, just keep it cheap.”

“Deal.”

Once they got back to the shack, Jinx had a thought.

“So…they still believed the whole long-lost daughter thing?”

“Of course they did! Have you ever met a better con man than me?”

Jinx spoke without hesitation. “Yes.” Stan glared at her before opening the door to the gift shop. “Do you think the kids will believe it? Especially for the whole summer?”

“Ha! Of course they will! Dipper and Mabel won’t be any trouble. I doubt either of them will question anything in this town, we just need to keep them away from the really crazy things and say everything else is their imagination. I’m sure everything will be completely fine this summer. What could possibly go wrong?”

Chapter Text

“Ah, summer break… A time for leisure, recreation and taking ‘er easy. Unless you’re me.”

A golf cart suddenly jumped through the town’s welcome sign and landed on the road below with two kids in the front seats screaming and a woman on the roof with a paintball pistol. Behind them was a massive being that was chasing them.

“Ahhhhh!”

“It’s getting closer!”

“Step on it, Dip!”

“My name is Dipper. The girl about the puke is my sister Mabel, and the one on the roof is Jinx. You may be wondering what we’re doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.” 

The creature suddenly picked up a tree and threw it in front of the golf cart, partially blocking the road.

“Look out!”

“Hot Belgian Waffles!”

“Ahhhh!”

“Rest assured, there’s a perfectly logical explanation.”

I am including this to hopefully make it feel a bit more like the actual episodes. Please just imagine that Jinx appears somewhere in it like the other characters do.

“Ahhhh!”

“Let’s rewind. It all began when mine and Mable’s parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us up North to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.”

Mabel finished putting a poster on the wall before turning and showing Dipper her hands.

“This attic is amazing! Check out all my splinters!”

Dipper walked backwards towards his bed while looking at his new surroundings.

“Baaa!” 

“And there's a goat on my bed. With blue and pink stripes painted on its horns…”

“Hey, friend.” Gompers immediately bit Mabel’s sweater as she approached. “Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater! Hahahahaha!”

“My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.”

“Yay, grass!”, Mabel said happily as she rolled down a hill while her brother was being harassed by a woodpecker.

“But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.” 

“Boo!”

“Ahh!” Dipper jumped as a man wearing a green aquatic monster mask scared him from behind.

“Ahhahaha!”

“And then there was our great-uncle Stan.” 

“RAWR!” Another person, wearing a red monster mask, jumped down from the tree above, scaring Dipper a second time.

“Gah!”

“Haha!” The person pulled off the mask, revealing a head of blue hair. 

“And his ‘daughter’, Jinx.”

Jinx laughed with Stan who slapped his own knee.

“Hahahah!”

“Ahhahaha- Ack- haughk- uhuhg- It was worth it.”

“Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the Mystery Shack. The real mystery was why anyone came… Jinx, on the other hand, was apparently his long-lost daughter that nobody in the family knew about until the family Christmas party two winters ago where he introduced her after they had apparently connected earlier that year. You couldn’t tell by looking at them that they’re related since they look nothing alike, but they definitely have similar attitudes when it comes to certain things. She spent most of her time barely watching over us or either making trinkets or making ‘art’ with her paintball gun, both of which she put up for sale in the gift shop. And guess who had to work there…”

10:07a.m., Mystery Shack Gift Shop…

Mabel’s head appeared from behind the counter, next to where a red headed teen sat, reading a magazine. She watched as a boy read a note that she had left for him.

“He’s looking at it, he’s looking at it!”

“Uh… Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?” The boy nervously looked around.

“I rigged it!”

At the same time, Dipper approached a nearby jar of fake eyeballs and Jinx entered the room with an armful of her creations.

“Mabel, I know you’re going through your whole ‘boy crazy’ phase, but I think you’re kind of overdoing it with the ‘crazy’ part.”, said Dipper as he began cleaning the outside of the jar.

Jinx roughly dropped what she was carrying onto the counter. “Yeah. And people call me insane!” 

“What? pbbbt. Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home. It’s my big chance to have an epic summer romance. And Jinx, girl, you can’t tell me that you’ve never wanted the same thing.”

“Nope, never.” Jinx chose not to mention that there was one person that she wouldn’t really mind having such a relationship with, because she knew that if she did mention it, Mabel’s questions would never stop and Jinx did not want to discuss the fact that she and him had tried to kill each other on multiple occasions, that one of her adoptive fathers would have killed him if given the chance, or any of the other things that would possibly and probably come up. Not to mention the fact that it would end the lie that she is Stan’s daughter and not from a different dimension. 

“See? Besides, do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?”, asked Dipper, drawing Jinx’s attention back from her thoughts.

“Not to mention the way that she does it. I think that guy she pushed into the postcard stand cracked a tooth or something and the one from the mattress store quit and found a different job.”

“Mock all you want, you two, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn’t be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.” Mabel motioned over her shoulder to the museum entrance.

As if on queue, Stan walked through the entrance, carrying signs and a can of Pitt and immediately burped loudly.

“Oh! Oh! Not good. Ow.”

“Oh, why?!”

Jinx laughed with Dipper at Mabel’s bad luck before approaching Stan. “Where’s my can, Old Man?”

Stan sighed before leaning down and lifting his fez off of his head, revealing a second can. “Right there.”

Jinx happily grabbed the beverage while Dipper and Mabel slightly recoiled in disgust.

“Eww, hat drink.”

“I’ve had worse.”, said Jinx as she wiped the top of the can with her shirt before opening it.”

“Alright, alright, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.”

“Not it.”

“Not it.”

“Uh, also not it.”, said a large man who was adding a shelf to the wall.

“Nobody asked you, Soos.”

“I know, and I’m comfortable with that.”

Jinx pulled a chocolate bar out of one of her pockets and handed it to him. “Here, big guy.”

“Thanks Dude.” Soos immediately opened the package and took a bite.

“Wendy! I need you to put up this sign!”, Stan yelled towards the redhead.

“I would, but I… uhh… can’t… uh… reach it.”, she said while not even bothering to stand up.

Stan sighed. “Jinx?”

“I’m busy restocking. I just need Soos to finish with the shelves.”, she said, holding up a monkey statue that she had made out of random bits of metal.

“I’d fire all of you if I could.”

“At least Soos and I are trying to work.”

Stan sighed again before turning to the twins. “Alright, let’s make it eeny-meeny-miney… You.” Stan pointed to Dipper.

“Oh! What? Grunkle Stan, whenever I’m in those woods I feel like I’m being watched.”

“Ahh, this again.” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m telling you, something weird is going on in this town.”

“That’s what everybody says, Dip.”, said Jinx as she climbed onto Soos’ shoulders to begin placing items on the shelf he had just put up while he continued with the ones below.”

“Okay, but not everyone gets mosquito bites that spell out ‘beware’, do they?” Dipper showed his arm to Stan.

“That says ‘bewarb.’”

“That’s still pretty close though.”, Jinx commented.

“Look, kid, the whole ‘monsters in the forest’ thing is just local legend drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.” Stan pointed to a customer who was weirdly laughing and sweating while holding up a bobble head of Stan himself.

Jinx flipped off of Soos’ shoulders and placed one of her figurines in the man’s other hand. “Buy this one and you get one percent off of that one!”, she said quickly.

The man, either not realizing or not caring that Jinx only said one percent, excitedly approached Wendy so he could buy the two items. 

Stan gave Jinx an approving grin and thumbs up before turning back to Dipper and dropping the signs into his arms.

“Now, quit being so paranoid.”

“Dip, you can take this with you if it makes you feel better.”, said Jinx with a smirk as she held up her paintball pistol.

“No. There’s enough paint all over the place already.”, Stan said quickly. “Save it for the you-know-who’s.”

“Uh, Grunkle Stan, don’t I need nails or something to hang these with?”, asked Dipper.

“Yeah, but I don’t know where they are. Go find ‘em.”

“They’re in my room.”, said Jinx.

Stan turned and looked at her. “Why are they there? You have your own.”

“I ran out.”

“Kid, what did I-”

“The more things I make, the more I sell.”

“Fair enough! Just go get more once you’re done restocking. I would drive you, but a tour bus is supposed to be here any moment now.”

“That’s fine. I’ll just use the bike that I st- that I borrowed from that Toby guy.”

11:57a.m., Mystery Shack Living room…

Jinx dropped her bag of supplies on the floor before pressing the pause button on her Tapeman, pulling her headphones down and exhaustedly flopping onto Stan’s yellow chair.

“Finally. I wish that old man at the junkyard didn’t take all the good scrap all the time. I wonder what he even uses it for...”

“Zombie!”, Dipper’s voice echoed through the building.

“Huh?”

Jinx stood and slowly made her way upstairs. As she did, she could hear Dipper yelling Mabel’s name, clearly distressed. She walked into one of the upstairs rooms and found Dipper and Soos in the middle of a conversation while Soos was also changing a lightbulb.

“I couldn’t help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room.”, said Soos.

“I think it was impossible to not hear him. ”, Jinx teased.

Dipper looked at both of the adults. “Okay, just- you guys have seen Mabel’s boyfriend, right? He’s gotta be a zombie!”

“Hold on, Mabel got a… I clearly missed something while I was gone.”, said Jinx.

“Oh yeah, dude. Mabel goes fast.” Soos thought to himself for a moment while he continued to work on the light. “Hmm… How many brains did you see the guy eat?”

“Zero…”, Dipper admitted.

“Look, dude, I believe you. I’m always noticing weird stuff in this town.”

As Soos said something about werewolves, Jinx noticed a book on the seat by the window. A journal that she and Stan had been searching for.

“Right, dude? Jinx?”

Jinx’s attention snapped back to the conversation as she realized Soos was talking to her. “Huh? Oh, yeah. What Soos said.”

Dipper nodded, admitting defeat. “As always, Soos, you’re right.”

“My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.”

“Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!”, yelled Stan from downstairs.

“Emphasis on the curse, apparently.”, said Jinx.

Soos adjusted his hat. “I am needed elsewhere.” 

Once Soos finished walking backwards out of the room, Jinx looked at the book again.

“Where did you find that?”

Dipper quickly grabbed the journal, realizing that he had left it out in the open. “Oh, this?” Dipper laughed nervously. “Just…around. I don’t really remember, actually…” His tone then changed to be less nervous and more serious and concerned, but still a bit hesitant. “It… It has a lot of information about the town and all these weird things in and around it. This is why I’m worried about Mabel’s boyfriend. It describes him almost perfectly.” Dipper opened the journal to the page about zombies. “He looks like a teenager, random blood, he talks weird…”

“That just sounds like a teenager.”

“She met him at the cemetery.”

“Still sounds- Wait, did you say cemetery?”

“That’s what she told Grunkle Stan and I. But…like Soos said, I need proof. Then I’ll know if my sister is really dating a zombie, or if I’m just crazy.”

They both remained silent for a moment.

“…We could stalk them. I know where Stan’s video camera is.”, said Jinx.

“Yeah, that seems like a logical yet questionably ethical thing to do.”

“I’ve done worse.”

For the next few hours, Jinx and Dipper followed Mabel and Norman around the town and recorded them. At the park where they played with a frisbee. The diner where Dipper was watching them from behind a menu while Jinx, who had put on a disguise, got distracted and had a piece of Lazy Susan’s apple pie instead of stalking. They watched them frolic through the cemetery where Norman fell into a grave. Everything seemed to be fine, but that didn’t ease Dipper or Jinx’s worries..

Eventually, Jinx and the twins returned to the shack and she and Dipper confronted Mabel in their room in the attic.

“Mabel! We've gotta talk about Norman!”

“There’s some things that need to be discussed.”

“Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!” Mabel turned her head, showing the other two a large red mark on her cheek.

“WAAH!”

“Jeez, you haven’t even known him for a day yet.”

Mabel laughed. “Gullible! It was just an accident with the leaf blower. That was fun.”

“No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!”

Mabel gasped as Dipper pulled out the journal. “You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!”

“That would be a different problem.”

“Guess again, sister. Sha-bam!” Dipper confidently opened the journal, accidentally opening it to the page about gnomes.

“Ah!”

“Wrong one, Dip.”

“Oh, wait. I'm sorry.” He then turned to the correct page. “Sha-bam!”

“A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper.”

“I'm not joking. It all adds up, the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?”

“Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking.”

“Hey, I haven’t seen him blink either.”, said Jinx

“Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!”

“Well, what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?” Mabel popped on two star shaped earrings.

“Uh, maybe because you’re a pre-teen who has worse impulse control than me. Actually, that goes for both of you, but at least Dipper is using some sense. Meanwhile, you’ve been desperate for a relationship since you got to town. …When did I become the voice of reason?” Jinx walked out of the room, talking to herself under her breath.

Mabel scoffed. “You two are just being dramatic.”

“Mabel! He's gonna eat your brain!”

“Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I'm gonna be adorable, and he's gonna be dreamy. And I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!” Mabel had pushed Dipper out of their bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Jinx, who was about to go downstairs, looked back as she heard the door slam. She shrugged. “Well, we tried.”

Dipper sighed and sat down against the door. “What am I gonna do?”

“No idea. But, let me know when you figure it out. I’m gonna go grab a snack.”

“How can you eat at a time like this?”

“Simple, I’m hungry.” 

4:59p.m., Mystery Shack Kitchen…

Dishes clattered as Jinx set her bowl in the sink while quietly singing along to the song that was playing through her Tapeman headphones. 

“-be your number one with a bullet”

“A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it”

“We’re going-”

Hoot, riinngg, Hoot

Jinx pulled off her headphones as she heard the sound of the clock over the music.

“Oh yeah, what’s-his-name is supposed to be here any time now.”, she thought to herself. She got to the living room where Dipper was sitting on Stan’s chair just as Mabel opened the door. 

Jinx looked at the alleged zombie as Mabel greeted him.

“Well, I guess we’ll know if he’s a zombie or not by the end of the night.”

Mabel, having heard Jinx’s comment, looked over her shoulder and gave her an annoyed look before walking outside with Norman.

As Mabel and Norman left and Jinx turned to go to her bedroom, Dipper sighed and looked at the video camera.

“Soos is right. I don’t have any real evidence.” He fast-forwarded to the next video segment. “I guess I can be pretty paranoid sometimes, and… WAIT WHAT?!”

Jinx poked her head back around the wall to look at him. “What is it-”

Dipper yelled. “I was right! Oh my god!”

“You were?” Jinx’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Look!” 

Dipper quickly showed Jinx the footage he had watched of Norman’s hand falling off and him putting it back in place.

“Holy sh-”

“Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!” Dipper frantically ran out of the building.

“Dip! Wait up!” Jinx ran after him, finding him just around the corner of the building, trying to get the attention of Stan who was with some tourists.

“No, it looks like a face.”

“Is it a face?”

“It’s a rock that looks like a face!”

“Over here! Grunkle Stan!”

“For the fifth time, it’s not an actual face!” 

Just as Jinx was about to yell for Stan as well, she noticed Wendy parking the golf cart nearby.

“Dipper! The cart!”

Dipper turned and looked in the direction that Jinx had begun pointing in. “Wendy!” He and Jinx ran over. “Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!”

Wendy simply dropped the keys into his hands. “Try not to hit any pedestrians.” 

Dipper got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

Jinx jumped into the passenger side. “I’m going with you!”

Dipper nodded and quickly put the cart in reverse and stomped on the gas petal, making the tires screech as the cart lurched backwards. Before they could actually go anywhere though, Soos stopped them.

“Dudes, it’s me, Soos.” The handyman picked up a shovel and handed it to Dipper. “This is for the zombies.”

“Thanks.”

Then Soos picked up a baseball bat and handed it to Jinx. “And this is in case you see a piñata.”

“Uh… Thanks?”, said Dipper, confused as to why they would see a piñata.

“Hey, it’s also good for zombies. And fighting off other things…”

Soos nodded. “Better to be safe than sorry. You got your gas, Dawg?”, Soos asked Jinx.

Jinx pulled a silver CO2 canister out of one of her pockets and put it into a slot in her gun. “You know it!”

Dipper put the cart in reverse again and Soos waved goodbye.

“Go get them, Dudes!”

“Don’t worry, Mabel! I’ll save you from that zombie!” As he drove as fast as he could, Dipper started overthinking. “What are we going to do when we get there? What if there’s more than just one zombie? What if we can’t actually beat him? What if it’s like a werewolf situation where they can only die to specific things? I wish Grunkle Stan was here, he might know what to do…”

“Dip, relax.” Jinx finished topping off her gun’s paintball compartment and closed the hatch. “We don’t need Stan. We’ll just go with the plan that never fails.”, she said without any concern.

“And that is..?”

“Not having one.”

“I was afraid you would say that…”

Dipper tried to push his worries to the back of his mind by thinking of other things. A question soon formed in his mind as he turned the cart to drive deeper into the forest.

“Hey, out of curiosity, why do you always just call him Stan? I haven’t really heard you call him ‘dad’.”

Jinx was caught slightly off guard by the question. “Uh… I- uh, I just… I’m still getting used to it, you know? He’s only been in my life for like two years. I call him Dad occasionally.”, she said, remembering one of the lies that she and Stan tell the town’s residents.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense… Wait, do you hear that?” Dipper stopped the cart.

“Help!”

“That’s her! We’re coming, Mabel! Hold on!”

Dipper and Jinx followed the sound of Mabel’s calls for help until they reached where it seemed to be coming from. As they descended into the darker, thicker part of the woods, they could see Mabel surrounded by a group of tiny figures and trying to fight them off.

“Those are some weird looking zombies…”, said Jinx.

“Aah! Let go of me!”

Jinx watched as Mabel punched one of the creatures away and then kicked another which then began to puke a rainbow. “Huh… I was not expecting that…”

“What the heck is goin’ on here?”, asked Dipper as he and Jinx got out of the cart holding the shovel and bat. He then recoiled back as one of the creatures ran by and hissed at him. “Aah!”

“Dipper! Jinx! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they’re total jerks! Uhh! Hair! Hair! Hair!”

“Gnomes? Huh. I was way off.”

“Wait, gnomes like for a garden?”, asked Jinx.

Dipper shrugged. “I guess so.” He then pulled out the journal and flipped to the gnome page. “Gnomes. Little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weakness: Unknown.” When Dipper looked up from the book, Mabel was tied down to the ground.

“Oh, come on!”

Dipper noticed one of the gnomes standing away and above the others, likely acting as their leader.

“Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!”

“Yeah! Before we start having fun!”, said Jinx.

The gnome turned around to look at them. “Oh! Hehe. Hey there! Um, ya know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding, ya see? Your sister’s not in danger… She’s just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn’t that right, Honey?”

“You guys are butt-faces!”

One of the gnomes quickly covered Mabel’s mouth to prevent her from saying anything else.

“Give her back right now, or else!”

“You think you two can stop us? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race!”

“Hey Dip, I can think of one little weakness.”, said Jinx.

“Do not trifle with the- Ah!”

Jinx suddenly swung the bat, hitting the gnome in charge and causing him to bounce off of a tree trunk. Dipper quickly ran to his sister and used the shovel to cut the tiny ropes holding her down. The three then ran back to the cart.

“They’re getting away with our queen! No, no, no!”

Dipper and Mabel hurried into the cart.

“Seatbelt.”, Dipper said to his sister.

Jinx, knowing there were only two seats, leaped onto the roof. “Forget the seatbelts! Drive!”

Dipper turned the cart around and drove back to the road as fast as he could.

Jinx looked back at the yelling gnomes as they disappeared in the distance. “See ya!”

Dipper sped down the road.

“Hurry! Before they come after us!”, said Mabel.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. You see their little legs? Suckers are tiny.”

Just as she was about to add to Dipper’s comment, Jinx heard a thunderous sound approaching them from behind. She turned to look and what she saw made her eyes widen. “Uh, guys…”

Dipper stopped the cart as he heard the sound as well. He and Mabel looked back and saw that the gnomes had joined together to create one giant gnome.

“Dang…”

Jinx could hear the leader instructing the others. “Alright, teamwork, guys! Like we practiced.”

“They practiced this?!”

The gnomes collectively roared.

“Dipper, drive!”

“Move! Move!” 

Dipper managed to drive away just before a massive fist slammed down onto the cart.

“Come back with our queen!”

“Just try to take her, you tiny freaks!”, Jinx challenged.

“It’s getting closer!”

The giant gnome then tossed some of the regular gnomes at the cart.

Jinx was able to hit one away with the baseball bat, but another managed to grab it out of her hands as it flew by. “Come on, really?!” She then heard the sound of fighting coming from below her and looked over the edge of the roof at the twins who were being attacked by gnomes. She quickly pulled her head back up just as a gnome went flying by after Mabel punched it off of Dipper’s face, taking his hat with it. “Well, that’s gone for forever.”

“Thanks, Mabel.”

“Don’t mention it.”

With the bat now gone, Jinx pulled out her gun. “Eat paint!”

She began firing towards the top of the gigantic gnome, the paintballs exploding as they hit their victims, covering them with paint and slowing the beast down.

“They’re stopping! Looks like we’re home free! Oh no…” Jinx quickly realized that the gnomes were not giving up yet and had picked up a tree, throwing it like a spear towards the cart. It missed, but had instead blocked part of the road.

“Look out!”

“Hot Belgian Waffles!”

“Ahhhh!” As Dipper began to lose control of the cart and he and Mabel screamed, Jinx grabbed the edge of the roof and swung down, landing between the twins and managing to brace herself just before they crashed.

The cart slid to a stop on its side, right next to the Mystery Shack.

The three slowly crawled out of the wrecked golf cart, groaning in pain, but then immediately stood up as the gnomes approached.

“Stay back, man!”, yelled Dipper before picking up and throwing the shovel at the gnomes, only for it to be knocked out of the air with ease.

Jinx instinctively reached for her gun again, only to find that it wasn’t in its holster. “W-what, where did it-” She then remembered that she had been holding it during the crash and turned her head to look around for it. She spotted it on the ground, far out of reach. 

Jinx positioned herself in front of the twins and the three of them began to walk backwards towards the shack until they ran out of room.

“W-where’s Grunkle Stan?” 

Inside the Mystery Shack…

Stan held up one of his ‘attractions’ and pulled the cover off before pulling its string, making the spiral spin.

“Behold! The world's most distracting object!”

“Oooh.”

“Just try to look away, you can't! …I can't even remember what I was talking about…”

Back outside…

“It’s the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!”, said the leader of the gnomes.

Jinx recoiled slightly in disgust. “You know, that fact that you know she’s a kid really makes this look even worse for you than it already does.”

“There’s gotta be a way out of this!”, said Dipper.

Mabel thought for a moment. “I gotta do it.”

“Wait, what?”

“Mabel! Don’t do this! Are you crazy?!”

“Trust me.”

“What?”

“Dipper, just this once, trust me.” Dipper backed away, allowing his sister to take charge.

Mabel then made eye contact with Jinx before looking at something on the ground, behind a pile of leaves. Jinx followed her gaze and smirked as she realized the preteen’s plan. She slowly backed towards the object while Mabel stepped forward.

“Alright, Jeff. I’ll marry you.”

“Hot dog!” The gnome leader, half covered in pink paint, began climbing down the beast formed by the rest of his species. “Help me down there, Jason. Thanks. Andy, left foot. There we go. Watch those fingers, Mike.” He then popped out of the beast’s foot and walked over, holding out a ring. Mabel held out her left hand and Jeff put the ring on her finger before turning around and celebrating. “Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let’s get you back into the forest, Honey!”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jeff stopped as he was about to walk away. “Well, uh, don’t mind if I do.”

As Jeff leaned in for the kiss, Jinx grabbed the leaf blower from behind the pile of leaves and swiftly handed it to Mabel. Mabel quickly turned it on and aimed it towards Jeff.

“Hey, wait a minute!”

Dipper and all the other gnomes collectively gasped as they saw what was happening.

Jeff struggled to get away from the leaf blower which was sucking him in closer and closer. “Whoa! W-what’s going on?! Ahh!” Jeff got sucked into the end of the leaf blower.

“That’s for lying to me!”, yelled Mabel. She then increased the tool’s sucking power, pulling Jeff even further into the blower. “That’s for breaking my heart!”

“Ow! My face!”

“And this is for messing with my family!” Mabel aimed the leaf blower at the giant gnome before looking at Dipper and Jinx. “You two wanna do the honours?”

“You guys go ahead.” Jinx ran towards her gun and then called for the shack’s resident goat. “Gompers!”

Dipper grabbed the blower’s power control.

“On three.”

“One, two, three!”

Dipper set the blower to full pushing power, launching Jeff towards the giant gnome and causing them to fly apart in all directions.

“Ahh! I’ll get you back for this!”

The rest of the gnomes screamed as they all fell to the ground. “Who’s giving orders? I need orders!” “My arms are tired!”

As the twins used the blower to drive away the gnomes, Jinx returned with her paintball gun and began shooting at the gnomes as they fled to ensure that they did not return.

“Get out of here, you little gremlins!”

As the last of the gnomes ran away from Jinx and the twins, one got stuck in a six-pack ring. “Ah!”

Gompers suddenly appeared and picked up the helpless gnome before running off as he screamed.

“Good boy, Gompy!”, said Jinx. She then walked over to where the twins were at the edge of the shack’s porch.

“Hey, Dipper.”, said Mabel. “I, um, I’m sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You saved our butts back there.”

“I guess I’m just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.”

“Look on the bright side… Maybe the next one will be a vampire.”

“Uh, no.” The twins looked at Jinx who was putting her gun in its holster. “Nuh-uh, no vampires. If you date a vampire, you’re on your own.”

The three laughed. The twins then turned back to each other.

“Awkward sibling hug?”

“Awkward sibling hug.”

The twins then hugged each other. “Pat, pat.”

Mabel then had a realization and partially pulled away from Dipper so she could look at Jinx. “Awkward family hug?” 

Jinx was partially taken aback by the question. After a moment of hesitation, she slowly knelt down. “Awkward family hug.”

The three embraced each other. “Pat, pat.” They then collectively pulled away and Jinx stood up.

“Let’s get inside.” 

As the three entered the gift shop, Stan, who was counting the day’s earnings, immediately noticed their disheveled appearances.

“Yeesh! You three get hit by a bus or somethin’? Ah-ha!”

The twins, not really in a laughing mood, slowly walked towards the shop’s interior exit.

Stan paused for a moment and realized that he probably shouldn’t have made the comment. “Uh, hey!”

The twins stopped and looked at him. At the same time, Jinx jumped up to sit on the counter.

“W-wouldn’t you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so how’s about you two each take one item from the gift shop, on the house?”

“Really?”

“What’s the catch?”

“The catch is you gotta do it before I change my mind. Now take something.”

As the twins looked around the shop and Stan opened the cash register’s drawer to put some of the money back in it, Jinx playfully elbowed the old man in the ribs.

“Old Softie.”

“Hehe. Don’t be getting any ideas.”

“Too late.”

“What’s that supposed-”

“Hmm. That oughta do the trick.”

Stan and Jinx looked at Dipper who had picked out a blue and white hat with a pine tree on it to replace the hat that he had lost.

“And I will have a… Grappling hook! Yes!” 

Dipper and the two adults shifted their focus to Mabel who had managed to find a grappling hook, which, judging by the paint covered bass that made up the majority of its outer construction, had clearly been built by Jinx.

“I was wondering where that went.”, said its creator.

“Wouldn’t you rather have, like, a doll or something?”

Mabel confidently shot the grappling hook up to the ceiling, pulling herself up and knocking over a large box in the process. “Grappling hook!”

“Fair enough.”

“Attagirl.” 

Jinx then returned to the idea that Stan had told her not to have.

“You know… It’s almost dinner time…”

Stan glared at her and spoke under his breath. “Please don’t...”

“And I don’t think there’s much in the fridge…”

“There’s plenty in the fridge, we got groceries yesterday.”

“OH! What about pizza?!”, Mabel excitedly asked.

“Can we order pizza, Grunkle Stan?”

“Yeah, dad. Can we order pizza?”

“Pleeeease?”, Jinx and the twins collectively pleaded.

Stan sighed. “Fine. But nothing fancy!”

Later that night…

Dipper laid in bed, writing in the journal that he had found, while Mabel jumped on her bed.

"This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with people, you realize that they’ve probably always got your back.”

“Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?”

“I’m on it.” Mabel suddenly shot the lantern with her grappling hook, sending it flying through the window. “It worked!”

“Hahahaha” 

“Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?”

Stan, with Jinx right behind him, typed a code into the gift shop’s vending machine, opening the secret door. Once the door was closed, he and Jinx went down the stairs to the elevator that provided access to the lab below.

“Stan, there’s something you need to know.”, said Jinx in a serious tone.

“Huh? What?”

“The other journals… Your brother’s, the ones we’ve been searching for… Dipper has one.”

“What? What do you mean he has one?”

“I don’t know how, but he has one. That’s why he thought Mabel’s boyfriend was a zombie. He was wrong, the guy turned out to be a bunch of gnomes that kidnapped her, but that’s not really the point, is it?” 

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just- damn it… If Dipper has one, we need to get it. Go sneak into the kid’s room and grab it.”

“Stan, he’s not an idiot, and he’s curious. If that book goes missing, he’s gonna try to find it. And he’s already suspicious about me being your daughter. He asked me about it earlier because I don’t call you ‘dad’ very often.”

“What did you tell him?”

“The same thing I tell everyone else. But, they haven’t even been here for a week and he’s already asking questions.”

Stan sighed. “Okay, okay, but we still need that book.”

“Maybe we should let him keep it for now. If he found one, he might find the other.”

Stan sighed again. “Kid, if that’s the case, you need to stay near those two as much as possible and make sure nothing else happens to them or the book. Those books are pretty much our only hope for getting my brother back and getting you home.”

“I know. I will.” 

“Was there anything else I needed to know?”, asked Stan.

“Hmm… I don’t think so… Oh! There is one little thing… We crashed the golf cart.”

“You what?!”

“Don’t worry, I already asked Soos if he can fix it, he said it would be done by tomorrow night.”

Stan sighed once again, but he also couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Kid.” 

Jinx laughed as well, but deep down, she couldn’t help but think about the fact that she had previously lost the three father figures she had in her life. Part of her was hesitant to call Stan her dad because of that, even if it was just to keep up the lie they had made. But, at the same time, part of her actually saw him as a true father figure, and that scared her even more.

“Maybe I will be…”