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` Kamishiro Rui, can you tell us what sets you apart from all the other students? `
I love the Summer. It burns my skin and gives me headaches, but it’s my best friend’s favourite season, so it’s okay.
I love the ocean. It makes my hair all frizzy and soaks my clothes, but it’s my best friend’s favourite place to go on hot days, so it’s okay.
I love the stars. You can hardly see them most nights and they’re annoying to photograph, but they’re my best friend’s favourite thing, so they’re okay.
I love my best friend. He’s loud, and cocky and dramatic but my best friend loves himself, so he’s okay.
We met back in elementary, when we were only 7 years old. I wasn’t exactly the model student; I was bright and got good test scores, but my behaviour was questionable at best. I exhausted my teachers, my parents worried about me and my classmates tended to avoid me like the plague, even the new ones. My only friends were Mizuki Akiyama from the other class and my platypus plushie, Ringo.
That was, until Tsukasa Tenma came along and joined that list, not wilfully, mind you. He denies it, but I know that our teacher trusted Tsukasa, with him being part of the School Council, and gave him the task of keeping me in line. And, yeah, for the first few months, that’s all he did, no friendship or bond in sight. He’d stop me from misbehaving or causing a ruckus, give me a glare, scold me, and then turn back to his work, all in the same breath. I didn’t like him — I hated him, even. He was no fun and was debatably worse than most of the class, because hey, at least they just stayed out of my way. He actively tried to stop me.
I had already submitted myself to the mindset that we’d never be friends, so there was no point trying or acting like we could be. And yet, somehow, by the end of the school year, we were essentially attached by the hip — we were like brothers, people said. …yeah. Brothers.
We laughed together, cried together, won together and lost together, never once drifting apart for even a second. It was…bliss. I had never had such a close friend before in my life, and even my parents could see the change he caused in me. I swear, it feels like he spends more time at my place than he does at his own. Not that I’m complaining about that, not at all.
I still remember it so clearly…we had both been called up to the front of the class for talking during lesson. We got scolded in front of everyone, it sucked; and to make it worse, our teacher wrote ‘Troublemaker 1 and 2’ on our foreheads in whiteboard pen, forcing us to keep it there for the whole day. …it should be a humiliating memory. But…
“You know, Rui…if you put 1 and 2 together…you get 12. And that’s one of my favourite numbers! So it’s good that we’re troublemakers.”
The blonde boy chirped with a grin, turning to face me. We had been excluded from getting to play tag with the other kids as extra punishment, so we were laid in the grass. It was the height of summer, the air filled to the brim with the sound of buzzing cicadas. We were beside eachother, our heads on top of Tsukasa’s bag, as to not mess up our hair.
“So the teachers are wrong then?”
“Of course they are, silly! I’m school council, so of course i’m right!”
I…couldn’t help but laugh. I always loved to hear him talk, whether he was bragging or just talking about something he’s interested in because, either way, it was his voice. His. No matter what he says, I find myself believing him because he’s Tsukasa Tenma and that’s my best friend. My…brother.
It’s been 11 years since then. We’re both 18 now, Third Years at Kamiyasuzaka Academy. It’s our first day back after our break. I thought that it’d just be a year like any other, to be honest. We’d go to class, mess around, spend time together and graduate, no issues whatsoever, other than maybe an occasional detention. Yet here I am now, stood up in front of my entire grade next to the principal. Daydreaming about my best friend and our memories together while my hair is cut short against my will. All because I wanted to express myself. …for, that is a crime, isn’t it?
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I did try to warn him, i swear i did. I knew that Rui would get punished if he grew his hair out this year like he wanted to. Its a stupid school rule, sure, but he’s equally as stupid for thinking he could get away with it.
Everyone else had gotten the memo, no boy in the room had hair going past their shoulders — first off, why would they want to, and second off, is it even worth the humiliation? Apparently it is for Rui, my best friend. My stupid, dumb, dense best friend.
There were quiet whispers, murmurs and laughs throughout the crowd of us, mocking Rui’s choice to disobey. Because now, his hair is getting cut in front of everyone, getting roughly pulled as the lavender strands drift to the floor.
I can feel my heart breaking, and I hate it. I remember his smile and how happy he looked when it finally passed his upper back, gushing over all the new hairstyles he’d be able to try. Even when i’d tell him that it wouldn’t last, i couldn’t help but feel happy and warm inside, knowing how much it meant to him. I never thought hair could be so significant to someone, but…i suppose they do say that it holds memories. Maybe that’s why Rui looks so out of it stood up there.
Maybe that’s the face he’s making because all of his memories are dying.
I wanted to scream, yell, run up onto that podium and force the principal to stop what he’s doing, to stop hurting him. But, deep down, i knew it’d all end up getting worse if i did anything. It’s a hopeless feeling, wanting to help, but knowing that taking that risk would only end up worse for the boy you wanted to protect. …Damn it all.
His expression is blank as the principal cuts choppy strands off his head. He seemed so very composed, not even faltering — and yet, I couldn’t ignore how glassy his eyes were. He’s always been one to just be a trooper through whatever life wants to torture him with, and yet, at this current moment, like a child, he looks like he wants to bawl his eyes out.
But i know he wont. He’d never. It’d just give our classmates more things to whisper about in the end, and thats just…infuriating. The nicest people are trapped with the cruelest of fates, it seems.
And, instead of tears falling, it’s just more and more of those pretty, soft locks drifting to the ground. They felt colourless as they hit the floor. And, for some reason, something in my chest twisted. Rui looked so…masculine now, with his brand new haircut. He looked like a boy. With the longer hair, he could at least pretend, but now it’s all gone, cut to his nape, just barely. And, call me selfish, but that feels so shitty. Because, deep down, i know that i was pretending he was a girl. But he’s not. He never will be. And i only like girls. I could never like a boy. Not my best friend. My brother.