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Dazai was lying around in his shipping container, which he, for some really weird reason, decided to live in. He was on his phone playing random video games when the door to his ‘home’ was suddenly kicked open by a familiar short redhead.
“Dazai!!” Chuuya yelled and entered the shipping container, “What are you doing?? We have a mission right now!”
Dazai groaned and switched off his phone, “But I don’t wanna goooo!!!”
Chuuya walked over to Dazai and picked him up, “You have no choice, mackerel, come on.”
Dazai whined and started struggling in Chuuya’s grip before eventually giving up and letting Chuuya carry him.
Chuuya carried Dazai until they reached the enemy gang’s base, and Chuuya decided that Dazai had the right to walk again. He then dropped him on the ground right in front of the building they had to destroy. The group had been annoying the port Mafia for a while now, and Mori wanted to get rid of them.
“Owww!! So rude,” Dazai whined and stood up as he dusted himself off from literally being dropped on the floor.
“Shut up, let’s just destroy their base already,” Chuuya rolled his eyes at Dazai.
“You should just use your ability to kick the walls down or something.”
“No, that’s lame and stupid-“
“Oh, you want something more flashy? Okay, let’s set up a bunch of bombs inside and put it on a timer so that the whole thing goes up in flames!!“
“But I don’t have any bombs with me right now-“
“It’s okay, I always carry spares!!” Dazai happily skipped towards the base and started climbing in through a window.
“Wait-“ Chuuya sighed and chased after Dazai.
They both entered the base, which, for some reason, was pretty empty with very little security.
“Do they want to get attacked??” Chuuya asked as he looked around the empty area.
“Maybe it’s their lunch break and they don’t wanna do overtime,” Dazai pulled out a bunch of bombs from his coat’s pockets somehow. “Do you have a lighter?”
Chuuya checked his pockets and pulled out a pink lighter, “Yeah,”
“Great!” Dazai started setting up the bombs and poured a bunch of gasoline everywhere, don’t ask where he got that from, and after a few minutes, he was finished.
Dazai walked back to Chuuya, “Done! We should leave now.”
“That was faster than I expected,” Chuuya said as he climbed back out of the window.
Dazai snatched Chuuya’s lighter and lit one of the bombs before following Chuuya through the window. They both quickly ran away from the building until they were far enough to avoid the explosion, and they sat down at a random bench nearby.
After a few minutes, the bombs went off and the entire building started to catch fire.
“Isn’t it pretty, Chuuya?” Dazai asked and turned away from the burning building to stare at Chuuya.
“…We just blew it up and set it on fire, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Well, yeah, we did do that, but it’s also kinda aesthetic, right?”
“Are you sane- never mind.”
They both sat in silence that lasted only 30 seconds because Dazai couldn't shut his mouth.
“Chuuya, we should kiss.”
“Wha-“
“Pleaseee??” Dazai made puppy eyes at Chuuya.
“Why???”
“Because it fits the mood duhhh!” Dazai pointed at the still-burning building in the background.
“How does it fit the mood? Are you reading your crappy fanfics or something again?!”
“They aren’t crappy-“
“They are,”
“Nuh uh!”
“Yuh uh,”
“Nuh uh, I will write one of you kissing me, and we make out, and get married, and-”
“WHAT,”
“What?”
“You probably can’t write for shit-”
“Shut- anyway, it’s basically like fireworks. You know how people kiss in front of fireworks in shows and stuff, right??”
“That’s a burning building.”
“Blowing up an enemy's hideout is basically like watching fireworks, right?”
“No??”
Dazai pouted, “So you aren’t gonna kiss me?”
“Of course not.” Chuuya ignored Dazai’s pout and turned back to watch the building burn. Why hasn't anyone called a firefighter or something yet??
Dazai continued pouting and making pitiful whiny noises; he was acting like a kicked puppy.
Chuuya let out an annoyed sigh at Dazai’s whining, “Shut up, bandage waster.”
Dazai whined even more and sniffled.
Chuuya turned to Dazai when he heard him sniffle, “Are you- are you about to cry??”
“Chuuya won’t kiss me,” Dazai said sadly.
“Ugh, fine, come here, idiot.” Chuuya gave in to Dazai’s pitiful act.
Dazai’s face immediately lit up, and he leaned closer to Chuuya, who grabbed his shirt and planted a short, sweet kiss on his lips.
Chuuya quickly pulled back and tried to hide his blush, “There. Happy?”
Dazai was also blushing a lot but pretended like he was completely normal, “I want more-“
“No.”
“Aww. Worth a shot.”
They both turned back to the building, which was still burning. Seriously, why hadn’t anyone called a firefighter yet?!
Dazai leaned onto Chuuya and rested his head on his shoulder. Chuuya glanced at him but didn’t push him away because he knew Dazai would be absolutely insufferable if he did.
Eventually, a fire truck actually showed up, and so did the police, so Chuuya quickly got up, grabbed Dazai, and ran away so that they wouldn’t be caught.