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Noisy chatter filled the marketplace, people argued and bartered with vendors, children ran around eating candies, and played with their new toys. It was a busy weekend, which meant that people would be much more careless at keeping track of their items than usual.
Dazai scanned the crowd, looking for a target. His bandages were dirty, and he desperately needed new ones; they were scratching his scars underneath and felt gross.
Oh, and food too, he hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, so he probably should steal a banana or something.
Suddenly, a flash of ginger hair and an expensive-looking hat caught the brunette’s attention.
Dazai quickly drew all his attention to the short ginger whom he had just seen.
The man looked young, maybe even the same age as Dazai; he had beautiful blue eyes and very expensive clothes. After a few minutes of observation, Dazai realised that he had seen this man before. This wasn’t just any rich snob; it was Chuuya Nakahara! A young man who recently inherited his deceased parents' money and became a millionaire overnight! It was all over the news a couple of months ago.
Dazai kept observing Chuuya, who was taste-testing some wines at one of the stores.
He was the perfect target for a broke thief like Dazai. He looked kinda cute.. But that money in his wallet was cuter-
Dazai started walking around casually, carefully planning his next moves out in his head. It was simple, really. He had done this so many times before that it was like second nature.
Chuuya had now moved to a store that sold fancy chocolates that cost more than Dazai’s entire closet. Granted, he didn’t have a closet because he was homeless, but if he did, those chocolates would probably be more expensive.
Dazai bumped into Chuuya.
The ginger stumbled a bit, grabbing his fancy hat before turning around and seeing the brunette standing there with a sheepish grin on his face. “Oi! Watch where you’re going, damn it!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Dazai said, continuing his act, using Chuuya’s distraction to his advantage to sneakily pickpocket him and sneakily slip his wallet into his back pocket.. “It was a mistake, I promise!”
Chuuya scoffed. “Well, be careful then! Seriously, is it really that hard for people to walk straight these days?”
“I’m anything but straight-” Dazai mumbled under his breath.
“What,”
“Uh, I said you’re too short to be talking like that about me!”
Chuuya turned around and glared at Dazai. “I’m not short!! I’m average height!”
Dazai giggled. The redhead looked good when he was angry. “By average height, do you mean the average height of a chihuahua?”
“W-well- Shut up! You’re too raggedy to be talking like that about me!”
Dazai gasped dramatically. “Well, at least I look stylish-”
“You look like you haven’t bathed in days! Has your hair ever seen a comb or shampoo??”
“Not everyone is a millionaire like you!”
“You didn’t deny what I said-”
The shopkeeper watched the two bickering and interrupted them. “Uh.. Excuse me, sir?”
Chuuya turned to the shopkeeper and calmed himself down. “Yeah?”
“Are you buying those chocolates or not?”
Chuuya glanced down at the box of white chocolates in his hands. He had forgotten about it entirely. “Oh, uh. Do you have any others?”
“Sure, what do you want?”
“What do you recommend?”
The shopkeeper turned around and ruffled through a few shelves before returning with a heart-shaped box full of various types of chocolates. “This has an assortment of different chocolates, it’s also a heart shape, so it’s perfect for you and your boyfriend!”
Chuuya took the box and observed the different chocolates. “This is a good variety, but what boyfriend are you talking about?”
“You and that other young man next to you, of course.”
Dazai and Chuuya looked at each other and immediately went red.
“I- He’s not my- Just give me the chocolates!!” Chuuya stuttered, and he started looking for his wallet in his pockets.
Oh shit, Dazai had his wallet. He had gotten too caught up in the banter that he had forgotten to hide away; there was no way he wouldn’t get caught now. So, he did the first thing that came to mind.
Dazai pulled Chuuya’s wallet out of his pocket, took out a bunch of cash, and shoved it into the shopkeeper’s hands before grabbing the chocolates and Chuuya before he could react and dragged him away.
“Hey, what the- WAS THAT MY WALLET??”
“Shhhh-” Dazai covered Chuuya’s mouth with his hand and continued to drag him away and under an old bridge.
Under the bridge was a makeshift tent-house thing that Dazai was currently calling his home.
Dazai threw Chuuya inside, and he landed on the old cushions that Dazai had found outside a pillow store. “What the fuck-”
“SHhhh!! This is my first time kidnapping someone, shut up-”
“Bitch I will kill you-”
“Nuh uh,”
“Fuck you mean nuh uh?! I’m calling the cops.” Chuuya pulled out a fancy phone before Dazai immediately snatched it out of his hands.
“Wait!” Dazai held the phone out of Chuuya’s reach. “Please don’t call anyone!! I didn’t mean to kidnap you, okay?? I just panicked-”
“So your first instinct was to literally drag me into this weird place?? This isn’t even a good place to kidnap someone at, you could have locked me in an extra room in your house or something, and that would have been better.”
“...Well, I wasn’t thinking..”
“I can tell, idiot!” Chuuya threw a pillow at Dazai and smacked him in the face. “And give me back my wallet-”
Dazai whined but reluctantly threw Chuuya’s wallet back at him. He put the pillow that Chuuya threw at him on the floor and sat down next to Chuuya. “Ugh, this is so annoying. I’ve never gotten caught before-”
“You’re a terrible thief. And kidnapper.”
Dazai pouted childishly. “I’m a great thief, excuse you, I just got distracted this time..”
“Uh-huh. Distracted by what?”
“..You.”
Chuuya blushed a bit. “Ugh, you’re so annoying. I don’t even know your name.”
“Uh.. It’s Dazai. Dazai Osamu.”
“So, Dazai, what is this place?” Chuuya gestured at the makeshift tent thing they were currently sitting in.
“...Wait, why aren’t you running away or something?”
“Because this is funny as fuck. Also, you’re kinda cute, like in a scrappy little black kitten way, so..”
“I’m WHAT?!!?!” Dazai squeaked out as his face flushed.
Chuuya laughed at Dazai’s expression. “Oh my god, this is so stupid! Also, you didn’t answer my question.”
“Oh, right. This is my house.”
Chuuya looked around in disgust. “Damn bitch, you live like this?”
“Sorry for being in poverty???”
“You should be! This is just pathetic.”
“You are bullying a poor person right now.”
“You literally kidnapped me and stole my wallet.”
“I said sorry!!”
Chuuya sighed. “I’m gonna forgive you because I think I have a crush on you.”
“I’m deeply in love with you,” Dazai replied.
“Is this stalker house syndrome or whatever it’s called??”
“It’s called Stockholm syndrome, and yes, it is. Let’s make out bbg,” Dazai said half jokingly and leaned in to kiss Chuuya.
“Okay, ew, never say that again, also not in this ugly ass place.” Chuuya pushed Dazai away. “I’m taking you to my house, and you are staying there from now on.”
“Yay!!! Does that make me your boyfriend?” Dazai leaned into Chuuya’s shoulder.
“Hell yeah! Now Kouyou can’t harass me about being too single from now on-“
“Who the hell is yoyo??”
“Shut up, let's get out of this place.” Chuuya picked up Dazai in bridal style and took him back to his mansion.
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
Chuuya brought Dazai into his house, even though they had just met a few hours ago, they were already acting like they had been married for years. It was like love at first sight.
“I'm bathing you, you stink,” Chuuya said as he filled the tub with warm water.
Dazai whined and sat on the closed toilet seat. He was holding some pyjamas that Chuuya had given him because, apparently, he just had a bunch of extra clothes he didn’t need. “I'm not stinky!”
“You were literally homeless like 30 minutes ago and living under a bridge.”
“Fair.”
Chuuya finally finished filling the tub with water and got up. “I hope you know how to bathe yourself.”
“Of course I do, now get out,”
Dazai locked the bathroom door as Chuuya left, and he went to sit in the tub. He immediately used all of Chuuya’s fancy shampoos and soaps.
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
Dazai came out of Chuuya’s bathroom wearing the clothes that Chuuya had given him and smelling like a flower shop because of all the random scented soaps he used.
Chuuya was also wearing his own pyjamas. He looked up at Dazai when he came out. “You look better when you aren’t covered in dirt and smelly.”
Dazai pouted. “Shut up. Where am I going to sleep?”
“On the couch, duh.” Chuuya pointed at his huge, plushy, dark blue couch that was covered in throw pillows and blankets.
Dazai stared at the couch, then back at Chuuya. “Really? A couch?”
“You were literally homeless and sleeping on stolen cushions in a weird handmade tent thing underneath a fucking bridge like you’re a damn bridge worm or something, and now you are complaining about sleeping on a couch???”
“You’re literally a millionaire, and this is a penthouse!! Don’t you have like 50 guest rooms or something? At least let me stay in one of them!” Dazai whined. He didn’t actually mind if he had to sleep on the couch; he just wanted to be difficult.
“Well, they are messy!”
“So??”
“So shut up!”
Dazai stared at Chuuya and made his eyes big and pathetic-looking.
Chuuya’s cheeks went pink when he saw the face Dazai was making. “I- what- stop making that face, idiot!”
Dazai continued making puppy dog eyes at Chuuya.
“Damn it!! Fine, you can sleep in my bed..” Chuuya gave in easily.
“Yay!” Dazai celebrated.
Chuuya started walking towards his bedroom as Dazai followed behind him like a lost puppy. Or kitty.
Chuuya’s bedroom was huge. Dazai may have never had a bedroom before, but he could tell that it was way bigger than an average bedroom. Probably.
His bed was huge, like it could fit like 10 people if they were all squished together uncomfortably. So like, it was more than big enough for 2 people to sleep comfortably on. Or you could pile the 10 people onto each other and fit in an extra 10 people, but then they wouldn’t really be sleeping on the bed, and they would just be sleeping on each other… What was he thinking about again? Oh right. Chuuya’s bed.
He had so many cushions on that bed, he had like a pillow obsession or something, and the bed itself looked soft and squishy, but the pillows made it look like it could work as a type of quicksand trap or something.
Dazai immediately jumped onto the bed and buried himself in the pillows. This was the most comfortable thing he had ever seen, let alone felt. “How do you even get up every morning with this to sleep on?!?! This is the most comfortable thing ever!!”
Chuuya chuckled and lay down next to him. “Of course you would say that, you were sleeping on those pathetic cushions, I don’t know how you survived.”
“I survived by stealing from people,”
“Yes, yes, I know, my wallet still has trauma from earlier today thanks to you.”
“Want me to apologise to it or something?? I’m sorry, wallet!!”
Chuuya rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at Dazai. “Sleep already, idiot.”
Dazai giggled and caught the pillow and hugged it to his chest.
Chuuya switched off the lights and pulled the blanket over himself and Dazai. “This whole day was a fever dream what the fuck.”
“Yeah I honestly have no idea what happened either.”
“How the hell did I end up with a homeless guy in my bed?? What is my life???”
“Can you not question your life choices while calling me that?”
“It’s literally a fact.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t be offended.”
“Cry about it.”
“That’s not how you talk to your new boyfriend.” Dazai pouted.
“Oh god I forgot about that-” Chuuya groaned. “I can’t believe I just agreed to date some random guy-”
“Lol. Anyway, I’m gonna sleep. G’night!!” Dazai closed his eyes.
“Good night,” Chuuya replied, also closing his eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep.
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
Dazai poked Chuuya on the cheek. It was 2 am, and he just remembered that they still had the chocolate that he bought with Chuuya’s money earlier.
Chuuya groaned and shifted in his sleep. He sleepily opened an eye when Dazai kept poking him, and he immediately jumped up and fell off the bed. “AH-”
Dazai stared at Chuuya as he sat on the floor. “Did you just fall for me?”
“Shut up, I forgot you were here,” Chuuya grumbled. “You jumpscared me.”
Dazai reached down and helped Chuuya back on the bed.
Chuuya sat up on the bed next to Dazai, “Why did you wake me up? It’s like 2 am.”
“I’m hungry,” Dazai whined.
“And you’re telling me this now???” Chuuya complained. He looked at Dazai and suddenly noticed how thin he actually was. He poked Dazai’s ribs, making the brunette whine and pout. “When was the last time you even ate something? You’re built like a stick.”
“Don’t poke me!” Dazai clutched his stomach.
Chuuya poked Dazai’s forehead, “Answer my question.”
“Hmm…Like, yesterday morning? ANYWAY, we should eat the chocolate I bought with your money.”
“That is the most unhealthy idea ever-”
“But it’s yummy,”
“Have you ever heard of a balanced diet?”
“I eat like twice a week anyway.”
“Yeah, no, that won’t do, I’m going to feed you some good food.” Chuuya stood up and picked up Dazai like a bride, again, causing him to yelp and wrap his arms around Chuuya’s neck. “Chibi!! Stop doing that!!”
“No,” Chuuya smirked and held Dazai closer. “Wait, did you just call me Chibi?!?!”
Dazai giggled, “Yeah, because you’re tiny like a little Chibi~”
“I will drop you.”
“Noooo, I’m sorry, not really,” Dazai whined and held Chuuya even tighter.
Chuuya just rolled his eyes and walked to his kitchen. He placed Dazai on the kitchen counter and went to get some leftovers from his fridge. He started heating it up in the microwave. It may not be fresh, but it was better than eating just chocolates and whatever the hell else Dazai ate normally.
Dazai pouted as he was left on the counter.
After a few minutes, the food was heated, and Chuuya picked it up and put it on the table.
He then picked up Dazai, who didn’t protest anymore, and put him on the chair in front of the food. “Eat.”
“But I wanted chocolate,” Dazai whined and avoided the food.
“You can have the chocolate for dessert if you eat the food,” Chuuya pushed the food closer. “I will literally hand-feed it to you if I have to.”
Dazai stared at the food; it was some sticky rice with egg and chicken on it, and some cucumbers and tomatoes on the side.
Chuuya sighed and picked up the pair of chopsticks. He picked up some rice and started bringing it to Dazai’s mouth. “Here comes the aeroplane-”
Dazai happily ate the food after that.
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
Chuuya put the empty plate in the sink after Dazai finished eating, and he went to the fridge to pull out the heart-shaped chocolate box. He picked it up and went back to where Dazai was, only to realise that he wasn’t sitting at the table anymore.
Chuuya then noticed that Dazai had moved to the couch and was scrolling through his Netflix.
Chuuya walked up to Dazai and sat next to him, “How did you open my Netflix?? I literally have a password.”
“I guessed :3”
“How did you just say that out loud- never mind, I got the chocolates.” Chuuya opened the box of chocolates.
“Oooh-” Dazai reached to pick one up, but Chuuya smacked his hand away. “Hey!”
Chuuya picked up a dark chocolate and said, “Open your mouth.”
Dazai blushed a bit but opened his mouth anyway, “Are you seriously feeding me the chocolate?”
“Yes,” Chuuya put the chocolate in Dazai’s mouth. “Is it good?”
Dazai shut his mouth and ate the chocolate. He thought for a bit before answering Chuuya, “It’s good, I think. I dunno, I never eat chocolate.”
“YOU NEVER EAT CHOCOLATE???” Chuuya gasped in horror.
“Well, I did eat it once, but it was expired, and some kid had thrown it at me while I was sleeping in a random alleyway.”
“Ew, why would you eat expired chocolate???”
“I didn’t have anything else!!”
“IT WAS EXPIRED!!!”
“It tastes better when it’s expired anyway-” Dazai pouted.
“I will strangle you.”
“I didn’t know you were into that.”
“STOP.”
Chuuya sighed, “I’m going to have to spoil you so much now, next thing you will tell me is that you haven’t eaten ice cream before-”
“What’s ice cream?”
“...Uhm. Let's just eat the chocolate for now.”
Chuuya picked up a chocolate for himself, but Dazai snatched it out of his hands.
Dazai shook his finger in front of Chuuya’s face as if he was scolding a child or something, “If you get to feed me, I get to feed you. Open your mouth, slug~”
“Slug?! Shut up you- you mackerel!” Chuuya opened his mouth anyway.
Dazai placed the chocolate in Chuuya’s mouth. “I have no idea what flavour that is, is it good?”
Chuuya ate the chocolate. “Yeah, it has some orange-flavoured filling or something, not bad.”
They continued to feed each other chocolate until they finished the box.
They started watching K-pop demon hunters on Netflix, and Chuuya draped a silky blanket on top of Dazai, who immediately pulled Chuuya under it too.
After the movie ended, Chuuya snatched the remote from Dazai before he could put on Cars or Annabelle, and switched off the TV. “Enough, let’s actually sleep now.”
Dazai pouted but let Chuuya switch off the TV. He tugged Chuuya closer and wrapped his arms around his waist while nuzzling into his chest. “Fineee, but I don't wanna move..”
Chuuya sighed and petted Dazai’s soft brown (now clean) hair. “Okay, let’s just sleep on the couch then.”
Dazai smiled and closed his eyes before slowly drifting off to sleep.
Chuuya stayed up for a few more minutes after watching Dazai sleep, but not in a creepy way, before also falling asleep.