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It all began when they were just kids.
Cole Brookstone had a lot of energy and strength that he needed to get out of his system. He broke toys, some furniture and even a wall one time. He wasn't a violent kid, but he got frustrated pretty quickly when things didn't go the way he planned. This impulsiveness grew intense after the death of Lilly. He didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, to see her one last time before losing her forever.
His therapist, Miss Misako, recommended him to go to some kind of sport or martial art where he could use that strength in a more healthy way, and also help him exercise and get tired more easily. Lou settled for Judo in Sensei Wu's Academy.
Sensei Wu was a wise man. He reassured Lou that he would take care of Cole and make sure to gather his strengths where he could use them better. As a single father, Lou felt he finally had some room to breathe, Wu telling him that he too once was a reckless child, and that his son was in good hands.
Cole wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but Lou almost made his ear fall with telling him how it was going to be fun, and it was gonna help him keep his mind busy and all kinds of stuff. He didn't have much of a say anyways, so he just agreed out of not having many options.
Lou always took Cole to his shows, much to his dismay, but he always knew they were over when he and his group signed Darling Boy. Cole knew it was dedicated to him since everyone told him about it,except for his father. Lou was closed off emotionally after losing his wife, but singing was the way he could show his appreciation for things and people.
Every time Lou was content, he sang, when he was angry, he sang, too, when he was sad, he poured his heart out in the song he danced with Lilly at their wedding. Cole was used to it, and it annoyed him to some extent, but he couldn't sleep unless Lou sang him a lullaby. Or whenever the house was too quiet, he felt nervous, like something was missing, the only thing left for him. Eventually, he began singing too, trying to fill up the space when his father was at the studio, and sometimes, singing together in the car. There were the only moments where Cole felt his world was complete again.
Jay Walker also had a lot of energy, but he was more focused and dispersed at the same time. The little boy spent all his days and nights playing with the same puzzle over and over again, stopping right after missing two or three pieces and breaking into unstoppable crying and tantrums. Ed and Edna didn’t even try to take it away, being the only thing he brought with himself when he was adopted.
Whenever he wasn’t entertaining himself with that, he found himself dismantling everything. Remotes, small electronics, one time even the TV. Ed and Edna were impressed, but also slightly worried. This wasn’t normal destructive behaviour, but way more focused and deliberate. They soon saw that he was copying Ed whenever he was fixing one of the neighbours appliances, and soon enough became a bonding tradition for them.
Ed and Edna loved Jay with all their hearts. More than anything. After so many failed attempts, the little boy felt like a rainbow after the rain, but they didn't expect him to be this stormy. It wasn't long until they went for counseling, too.
Misses Misako helped the Walker's best as she could, helping them understand Jay and how he viewed things and the world. She knew that adopting a child of deceased parents wasn't exactly the easiest thing for either Ed and Edna or Jay, but their boy seemed to settle well enough with them to trust them to make decisions for him. They just needed to find the correct moment for him to open up enough.
Jay was, once again, doing the same puzzle, a boat in a stormy night. He put each and every single piece in place with accuracy and confidence, before feeling the weight of another body next to him. He didn't look over, but he felt Edna's hands on his shoulders, reassuring him. He just closed his eyes a little, before putting another piece in place.
Edna began talking.
- You're a very smart boy, Jay. - She said with pride in her voice.
Edna sat closer to him, Jay taking another piece and putting it on the board. He kept putting each piece while Edna looked cautiously when there were less and less pieces.
Edna offered her hand, Jay this time looking at her and thinking for a second. She looked at him with a small smile. Jay thought about it for a moment before giving her the piece on his hand and pointing where to put it. Edna obliged and Jay smiled at her, melting her heart a little.
When the last pieces were left, Edna was the one to put them, the picture showing the dark night of a stormy voyage. Jay didn't cry this time, only tightly hugging Edna. She, just then, showed Jay a Sensei's Wu Academy flyer.
Sensei Wu began with talking to the kids, telling them about discipline, about how to focus their strengths, about defense, and not attack. Every class was the same old tales of an old man, and Cole was growing tired of them.
When he was too rough, he would be called out. Every time he pushed another kid with his shoulder, he would be called out.
Jay, on the other hand, was reminded a thousand times to follow the order correctly, to do the maneuvers the right way, and to pay a little more attention.
Both were frustrated, but Wu knew and this was just part of his plan. He took the two boys and talked to them, they would need to take additional evening classes with him after school.
Cole just gave a mean, as much as a kid can look mean, look at Wu, and Jay looked like he wanted to cry.
The Walkers were glad that Jay wanted to go more and make more friends, even if they didn't really see Jay talking to other boys or girls his age, and agreed right away. Lou, on the other hand, took it too well that Cole slept a little bit worried that he messed up enough for Lou to not care about him anymore or something like that. Just in case, he gave his father an extra long hug before going to class to show he was sorry.
They knew Wu just wanted to give them more space for them to practice and feel comfortable. Wu talked to them beforehand, and usually, the kids that don’t fit in too well or want something more personal, come to the evening classes with him and his nephew.
When Cole and Jay arrived at the class, the sun was just setting in for them to feel already sleepy, the "problem" kids were there already. Kai, a hotheaded kid that never shuts up, Zane, a quiet kid that took things way too literally and progressed slowly and Nya, who demanded her parents that if Kai was going to train more, she would too. Lloyd, Sensei Wu's nephew, also showed up occasionally.
The evening classes were way better, not only because there were less people, something that Jay appreciated, but also because Sensei Wu seemed to have more patience with them, too. Cole found himself spending time with Zane and talking, and also showed way more reception to feedback since Zane took the trouble to explain in more detail what Sensei Wu asked him to do.
Meanwhile Jay trained with Kai and Nya in a rotating manner unless Lloyd was there. With Kai, Jay felt like he could let a little bit of his rough side out, while laughing at his jokes and even starting to make sarcastic comments towards him from time to time.
With Nya, he was more shy and meek than usual, but that didn’t stop Nya from asking him to treat her as an equal and throw her with all his strength. She was a competitive girl, and he felt more accomplished every time they made bets to see how many times they could throw Kai to the ground.
Wu was content with this development. All of them grew a lot from spending time together. When they seemed comfortable enough, Wu asked them to choose a different partner this time.
- But we always train with the same partner, Sensei. - complained Cole.
- Flexibility is the best tool you can master, young one. - All of them looked at Wu a little confused, but just yelled “Yes, Sensei” and proceeded.
In no time, Kai went for Zane, wanting to learn how the blonde guy was pulling Cole out of his feet with that ease. Lloyd still went with Nya, since last time she trained with Jay, and Jay was left with Cole.
Cole was a couple years older than Jay. And Cole intimidated Jay. A lot.
The training session took off, and surprisingly, Jay found Cole to be extremely gentle with him. He barely used most of the strength he was using with Zane, and even made sure that he was alright when he had to be thrown to the ground. Jay nodded every single time, finding himself way more reactive than usual. He felt a weird kind of comfort with the boy. Cole, no matter how many times Jay messed up, didn’t say a single time that he would change partners like Kai did. Cole, on the other hand, appreciated that Jay was quiet enough to not correct him in all the different and intricate ways Zane did sometimes. They got along rather quickly and spent some time waiting for their parents to pick them up playing with Cole’s console that he snuck out.
Ed and Edna were surprised when they heard Jay talk for the first time since they adopted him. Jay was a rather quiet kid whenever he was with them. They heard that Jay does talk, but they're only spare moments and very quickly, something that Wu notices because of his trained ear to keep the little ones out of trouble.
- Can I... meet with one of my friends, sometimes?
Ed and Edna were static, but they wanted to play it cool and not intimidate Jay too much.
- Of course dear, what's his name?
- Cole. Brokstone, I think.
On the Brookstone household, Lou found Cole playing video games on his console in silence. Which was already weird enough because he usually had screaming matches with himself every time he could hear the little "you're dead" sound motif. But Cole just silently restarted the game. Lou thought that there was not a better time than now to go and ask his son how the Judo lessons are going.
- They're fine, met a boy, he looked scared.
- What 's his name?
- Jay Lorker or something like that.
- Did you two get along?
- Yeah, didn't want to break his bones or something.
And he left it at that. Lou didn't want to pressure Cole more than he already was. Lou just nodded, and walked over to close the door behind him, before hearing Cole call for him.
- Yes, pebble?
- Can you… sing me to sleep today?
Later on the week, when Lou went to pick up Cole, he was suddenly intercepted by Ed and Edna, making him jump a little. He didn’t expect to be ambushed by two very enthusiastic parents. He mostly tried to be lowkey due to his status as a famous singer.
- Hi, hello, we're Ed and Edna Walker, you must be mister brokestone, Cole's dad, right?
- Brookstone, yes. - Lou let himself breathe again, they weren’t fans, just parents.
- I'm Ed, and this beautiful bolt here is my wife, Edna. We're Jay's parents.
- Jay? Yes, Cole told me about him.
- Reall? Well, our little spark told us about your Cole, too. He wanted to hang out with him sometime.
Lou blinked, then looked at them a little surprised. Cole didn't talk to a single soul in his school, and not even played with other kids, he really preferred to be alone enough to sneak out his console everywhere and hide himself to play the same game every time. And suddenly another kid wanted to hang out with him. Cole made a friend and he felt like he wasn’t failing that much as a parent.
- Yes, of course, let me ask the little rascal and we can set a playdate.
Cole was surprised when he heard all of this, his curiosity getting the best of him and eavesdropping. Someone wanted to hang out with him, even after, in his eyes, leaving it clear that he wanted to be left alone. Well, it was Jay, he probably didn’t have many friends anyway and thought that sparing his little bones was a show of friendship. But he thought about it for a second, and they did like the same games, so, there was nothing to lose.
They met up in the Walker's household, Lou bringing Cole to a nearby Junkyard with a small house in the back. He almost turned around to leave when he saw Ed opening the door and coming to greet them.
- Mr Brookstone, please, come stay for some coffee and cookies. - Invited Edna.
- I don’t know, I think I have my schedule… - He was immediately interrupted by Ed, who already put his hand on Lou’s shoulder, letting him in.
- Nonsense! If our little ones are friends, we better get to know each other, come one, come on, Edna’s cookies are the best in the city.
Lou sent a quick message to his manager, before eventually just turning off his phone altogether when he saw Ed and Edna being so nice and welcoming. As the evening took off, he was sharing his heart out with the Walkers while they also shared about Jay's adoption and their struggles with conceiving. They were a really honest couple, and he felt grateful Cole was under their roof, even if their housing choice was not that conventional.
They had a small trailer where they used to live, but decided to build a comfy house in the cleanest part of the Junkyard to make sure Jay grew up with enough space for himself, while also fencing off most of the junk so he didn’t wander off getting hurt. As much as he didn't want to admit it, their house was way more homey than his.
Meanwhile, Cole and Jay were going at it with Jay's videogames. Ed and Edna didn't really care about how much they spent, they had spent on themselves enough already, they just wanted Jay to be happy, so he had almost every single game and console he asked for, or well, pointed at.
- You really have this one?
Jay nodded.
- Wow, this came out, like, yesterday! I wanted to try this one so bad!
Jay took the game's cartridge and put it in the console, immediately taking the blue control, while also giving Cole the black one.
Laughter could be heard from the little boy's room, and the parents definitely knew they would be seeing each other more than once.
Before Cole left, which he begrudgingly did as he insisted for the last three hours for an additional hour and it was already getting dark, Jay grabbed Cole’s shirt.
- W-would you… come over again?
Lou looked at Cole with expectation, while Ed and Edna were embracing each other seeing his little boy grow up.
- Duh, we didn’t finish that game! We need to bat that final boss.
Jay smiled widely at Cole, a smile so contagious that even he found himself smiling, something that Lou hasn't seen in a while. Jay would remember that smile. Jay let go of Cole before the raven haired boy looked at Jay’s feet.
- Your shoelaces are untied. - He pointed out, Jay looked embarrassed, before Cole crouched down and tied them for him.
- There, later I can teach you, too.
Jay didn't know it, but that was just the beginning of something for them.
Back in the car, Lou looked at his son a little proud.
- That was very nice of you, Cole.
- Well, if I want to play with his consoles, I need to be nice, right?
Lou just laughed, while Cole sank in his seat, feeling tired.
- He's also nice, I guess. - he added.
Their favorite song began playing on the radio. Lou mumbled the lyrics to not annoy Cole, before hearing his song singing them along. He smiled, as they sang together as they drove off.
Jay and Cole kept having playdates and hangouts after the first one. They shared videogames, movies, and even invited each other and the rest of their Judo classmates to join them. Cole and Jay were inseparable, and they made each other bloom in ways they didn't know they could.
Eventually they had a tournament coming up. Jay and Cole went together in Ed and Edna's car. Jay was trembling, feeling extremely nervous. Cole just looked at him and told him.
- You're gonna do alright.
- But...
- No one is bigger than me at my age, they'll be pieces of cake.
Cole patted Jay on the back, the car coming to a stop and Cole got out of the car, Ed and Edna entering first, but looking back when they only saw the raven haired boy get out of his car. Cole looked back, too.
He opened the door and saw Jay with tears forming in his eyes, breathing heavily. Cole got closer and asked him.
- You're okay?
Jay looked back at him and shook his head.
- Here, follow me.
Cole took Jay's hand and gently pushed him towards him, Jay's legs turning to him. Cole stopped and tied his shoes, before taking his hands again and making their way into the dojo for the tournament.
Something in that gesture made Jay give his all. Cole and Jay both gained a medal, and they proudly showed them off with Sensei Wu and their parents in commemorative photos.
The rest of the classes went smoothly, all of them doing better and better as students, and getting closer as friends, to the point where when they reached high school, all of them demanded to go to the same school. They all weren’t the same age, but they were so close they didn’t care about that.
Luckily they did get their wishes to come true, thanks to how much all of them became so close to each other, but mostly because of how Ed insisted Dr Julien take Zane to that school, explaining the study regimen and also telling him how they had a lot of accommodations for teens like Jay and Zane, and the friendship that formed between Ray and Lou and Maya and Edna, that between occasional hangouts to shared parties, decided that they weren’t going to lose their only adults friends they spent so much time with thanks to their kids.
They all wanted the best for their children, and with Misako's counseling and some Wu recommendation, they found a school perfect for them.
Their school years were mostly fine, boring, even, for people of their age. They kept doing Judo but slowly were drifting from it, but still meeting Wu to talk to Lloyd or to update him on their lives. Cole and Jay did almost everything together, still.
Jay wanted to try skate rolling? Cole bought a pair for both of them. Cole wanted to try cooking? Jay made sure to get them a spot in a cooking club that opened up. All the news video games were bought by either of them and shared until they ran out of easter eggs and achievements to complete. If one of them was doing something, almost always there was the other doing it with him.
- Where are you going, son? - Asked Lou.
- Jay’s, we got stuff to do.
- Skateboarding?
- Nah, we left it last week, Jay wanted to try to build a battleship or something, anyways, gotta go.
Sometimes they just spent their evenings doing homework and listening to music afterwards. Sometimes each of them steals glances at the other. Hormones were starting to act up. Jay found himself enjoying Cole’s perfume, and even keeping one of his hoodies for himself when the tanned boy left it behind in a rush. Cole, on the other hand, really likes Jay’s freckles, and his eyes. He spent most of the time looking absentmindedly at Jay’s eyes while he was focusing on something else.
Girl talk began shortly for the boys, most of the time away from nya. Either Kai gushing about Skylor, or Zane occasionally commenting on Pixal, or Cole talking about Vania. Jay, on his part, seemed close to Nya, much to Kai's dismay.
It was mostly that they shared their love for games like Guilty Gear or Metroidvanias, and whenever Cole wasn't at Jay's house, Nya was over to play with him. Everyone kind of expected them to date eventually, something Nya considered at some point. They did get along and did stuff together, not to the point of Cole and Jay, but, well, they’re a boy and a girl after all, it makes sense, right?
So, she asked him out. Jay could only muster an agreement before she left him there, hanging with his math homework and his undone tie, so he did what he would always do in a situation like this.
Ask Cole about it.
- Cole, dude, I need help, uh, code.. ugh, what was that thing that Kai said?
- First, you shouldn't listen to Kai, second, is it about a girl?
- Yes, how did you know?
- Nya, right? - Cole ignored the stupid question.
- Who else?
Cole looked at Jay, looking more like a mess than usual, he put his pen down and crouched to Jay's shoes. His shoelaces were untied again.
- What am I supposed to do with a girl?
- Well, if she likes you, do whatever you've been doing so far.
- We only play games and talk about them. - Cole looked at Jay like that wasn’t enough. He sighed.
- Well I don't know dude, do I look like a girl to you?
- No?
- Then don't fucking ask me about girls, I know as much as you do about that. Less, even.
Jay grumbled, feeling a little defeated, he sat down next to Cole and put his head on Cole's shoulder. The feeling of Jay’s weight on his shoulder made Cole blush ever so slightly.
- Dude, please, I'm at a loss here, what do I do?
Cole looked at Jay's electric eyes, his hair a mess, and the small freckles showing up a little like cinnamon on the cream of a cake. He wanted to smack his head to leave him alone, but he could really do that to his best friend?
- Ugh, fine. Oe! Vania! - He called out.
The pale blonde girl twirled around looking at Cole with a small smile.
- Yes, Brook? - Jay looked at Vania then at Cole, Cole didn’t even react to the nickname, while Jay looked a little like he didn’t like hearing that.
- Can you give me one of those uh, girlie stuff magazines you and the girl read on recess?
- Sure!
Cole was kind of glad she didn't ask many questions, then again, they were kind of the most responsible duo of the class just after Zane and Pixal and also study buddies, so there was an implicit trust between them. An implicit trust Jay admits, sometimes made him jealous.
- Here, take good care of it. - She gave Cole a colorful magazine with some kind of actress on it. “I am my own man” plastered on it.
Cole without saying a word, passed it to Jay, who took it like a holy grail of answers and began reading all about it. Cole thought that was all he needed to do to get Jay out of his hair, but no.
Jay spent weeks telling Cole all about how girls saw stuff. How they thought, how they felt, all based on that dumb magazine that was, first and foremost, borrowed, so Cole always had to remind him that he had to be careful with it. Sometimes even Pixal, Skylor or Vania herself told Jay that he was looking too much into it, but he refused to listen.
- Do you think my hair is too curly? Here it says that girls like straight hair more.
What? Of course not. Jay's curls were perfect, or well, good looking, I mean, they were fine. They really fit his round and cute, or well, damn, just round face, Cole thought.
- Maybe I'll get it straightened out. - Jay said under his breath, Cole just looked at him. He couldn't bring himself to compliment him the way he wanted to.
Another time, when they were pretending to do something in PE class, Jay asked Cole.
- Freckles are kind of... not it, right?
Cole this time looked at Jay like he was speaking in alien, but he wasn't alone, so whatever thing crossed his mind, was interrupted.
- What are you talking about? - Spitted Kai.
- Are you reading one of the magazines the girls read, perhaps? - Asked Zane.
- Yeah, I want to be more suitable for Nya.
- Well, good luck with that. - Kai mocked him. - Whatever you do, you'll probably never be good enough for her.
Cole hit Kai with the back of his hand in his chest, Kai looking at him a little offended. He didn't mean it that much, of course, just a brother protecting his sister, but Jay looked a little hurt.
- I think your time is up. - said Zane, - Thirty seconds, new record.
Jay climbed down the bar he was hanging from upside down, still reading the magazine. Cole got closer to Jay and crouched, tying up his shoes while mumbling the lyrics of a song. Jay's face seemed to relax a little after that.
Kai pointed at his shoes, Cole looked at him and said.
- Tie your own damn shoes. - Kai just rolled his eyes before crouching.
Zane put his hand on Jay's shoulder, trying to sound reassuring.
- You know those are just entertainment and that girls are complex and individual beings, right Jay? - asked Zane. - Pixal and I like to discuss about it and we even are considering using it as part of our debate-
- I don't care about debate, Zane, I'm in a crisis here. - Jay said frustrated, throwing his hands to the hair. - I just need... I just need to get some concealer, I think that's it.
Jay walked away, going to the part where the girls were, leaving Kai, Cole and Zane near the bar, which Kai climbed up.
- Maybe he's turning into a girl by how much he reads that mag- Cole gave Kai another small smack to his chest, which made him fall down.
- Not cool, dude, not cool.
Eventually the day cameJay turned to his date with Nya as well dressed as possible. He was nervous as hell, not knowing what to do. Nya showed up dressed just like always, looking at Jay a little weird, but endearingly, when she saw he put effort in his appearance for her.
- Cute fit, Jay. - She said. - Did you do something with your hair?
- Do you like it?
- Yeah! It looks cute.
- T-thanks!
They did what they would usually do, just hanging around near a smoothie shop and walking around in a park. At one point, they seemed to be no more topics to talk about, so Jay brought his cheatsheet, the magazine, with him in case something like that happened.
- Do you- uh- do you prefer bolder or- uh... -
- Hm? Did you say something? - Asked Nya, a little lost in her thought while she was enjoying the silence and company, looking at Jay.
- If you prefer bolder or tame- um, nail... polish?
Nya looked at Jay funny, but assumed he just wanted to try some. Jay seemed to suddenly have more interest in fashion and taking care of himself, after all. She heard he asked for makeup and tips from Vani and Skylor, and asked Pixal about hair care. Nya smiled, seeing Jay explore different things and being so open about it made her feel more comfortable with him.
- I don't mind either, I just go for black nowadays, but I have blue on me if you want to try!
- Uh, sure of course!
He didn't even think about it, so when he saw Nya pull out the bottle and take his hand, he panicked a little. It sure was blue, really blue.
- I-I don't think you should waste that on me, hehe, after all my nails are kind of-
- No worries, I got three of these back home, and your nails are pretty well taken care of, actually.
Jay kind of cursed himself for letting his mom take so good care of his nails, since they were used to getting really dirty every time he was fixing something with his dad or messing something up, a thing that didn't get any better with age.
The feeling of nail polish was definitely weird. It felt a little cold, and heavy, but Nya looked really excited to paint his nails, so he bottled these feelings. Nya looked very glad and it wasn't actually that bad.
- Stay like this. - She commanded, spreading her fingers. - Let it dry and- Oh my god! Hi Pixal! Hi Vania!
Pixal, Vania, Cole and Zane came around the corner, Nya jumping from her seat to go talk to them. Jay looked a little panicked, but he didn't want to move since Nya told him explicitly to stay still, a thing that was getting hard for him.
Cole walked over to him and sat down.
- So how is it going, casanova?
- I don't know. - He admitted. - We’re just talking and now my nails are blue.
Cole looked down at Jay's feet, rolling his eyes a little.
- She thinks I look cute, though. - Cole frowned for a second before smiling again.
Cole carefully tied Jay's shoes.
- A-a-and I think we're making progress! Hopefully.
- Well, your nails certainly rock the blue very well.
Jay opened his eyes a little, looking at Cole surprised at the compliment.
- Really?
- Yeah, it matches your eyes.
Jay read about this feeling in the magazine. Butterflies, they were? But for him it was like some kind of weird insect jumping around his guts. It felt gross, but not in a bad way, in a way of wanting to suddenly hear more about how the nail polish looked on him.
This was granted when Nya came back, Cole jumping and saying that he would let the loverbirds to it, mumbling some kind of song in his way.
- It looks really nice! I did a nice job, I think.
- Yeah you did! - He agreed enthusiastically.
Weird, he didn't feel that jumping bug that strongly there.
- I think it's touch-dry, we can go with the others and get more food, if you want to.
- S-sure!
Nya took Jay's face and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. Jay’s face turned a very red color, only being subtle due to the makeup he was wearing.
- Come on, whoever gets first pays for the sushi!
and then she ran off. Okay, there the weird bug jumped a little harder. So he set off as soon as he stopped looking at Nya and ran away from him.
After dinner, Jay and Nya excused themselves to go stare at the stars or something romantic like that, Cole didn’t really pay attention to it, focusing on the music he was listening with his headphones. Another stupid idea from the magazine, which Jay took the opportunity to give back to Vania since she was there. Vania looked at them with a smile on her face.
- It's weird to see Jay someone close to someone who isn't you. - Said Vania, Cole looked at her weirdly.
- What do you mean?
- Aren't you two kind of, inseparable? Seeing Jay with someone else looks, I don't know, weird. Couldn't think of anyone else than you by his side.
Cole shrugged.
- Well, he isn't going to be my shadow forever, isn't he?
- Some people thought you two were thinking.
Cole almost choked on his coke.
- What!?
- Yeah, ask anyone.
Cole looked at Pixal and Zane, who were each just trying not to smile too much.
- Well, several people have asked me if you two were dating more than once, yes. - Admitted Zane.
- Sometimes the girls do some kind of lists and funny quizzes, and always bring up which boys are available, they almost always think you two aren't eligible because either they think he's dating Nya, you're dating Vanya or...
- Each other. - Added vania, a little wicked smile on her face.
- Well I don't know, I don't think Jay liked guys.
- Do you, thought?
Cole went a little bit pale when that question was asked. He never really thought about it, he mostly talked about girls since that was what he was supposed to do, but he always saw Vania more as a friend than as a girlfriend.
- I'm bi, personally. - Added Vania, to make Cole feel a little bit more at ease. - And it's not like I'm the only queer kid in our school. So, don’t think you’re alone, okay, Brook?
Cole just nodded. That's what he always did whenever he didn't have anything else to say, nod. He leaned on his chair while mumbling the lyrics of the song, trying to calm himself down. He was thinking so hard about it. Vania was a good friend, she always left him with something on his mind.
Cole couldn't really sleep well that night. He stared at his phone looking at his social media. He sure did follow a lot of dudes, and also seemed to lack any kind of interest in the messages of girls he knew were interested in her. He mostly just let them send him messages but never really followed the convos that much. Only Vania and occasionally Pixal were the only girls that he talked to. Nya sometimes sends him memes, and the occasional message from Skylor to ask about Kai or share about Judo news.
He stared at the screen while looking at Jay's message history with him. They talked so much, about anything, everything, each new game, opinions about the series or the new comics, when to play together, what kind of answers their homework had.
He stared at the screen, a notification catching his attention.
It was Jay.
"Thanks for being there for me, dude!"
Cole smiles, feeling something rumble in his chest. It was usually hunger, but now, it was different. He let the phone rest in his chest while singing in something that can only be a murmur, and drifting to sleep, blue eyes carrying him.
Eventually, Jay and Nya started dating. Everyone was happy for them, but Cole knew that Jay would have less time for him, since when he falls, he falls quick, fast and hard. And Jay would be obsessed with spending time with her, something that did happen.
They officialized at a party they did after they graduated, Cole standing in the balcony of Vania’s huge house.
- Nice night, isn’t it? - He heard the blonde girl open the sliding door and lean beside him. He just nodded.
- Listen, I know how you must be feeling.
Cole chuckled, yeah sure, as if he was feeling any kind of way.
- I think love is something that always comes and goes, but is always meant to be.
- Stop reading so much romance, girl, it isn’t making you make sense.
- You start reading more in general, stonehead! - They both laughed.
- Is it really that obvious?
- Only for a friend. - Cole nodded again. - Well, not all friends, Kai definitely doesn’t know a thing.
They both laughed again, but in Cole’s case, a little more bitterly.
And like that, school came and went for them.
College was just around the corner, and Jay was anxiously waiting to sign up to his favorite college that he was eyeing since he started thinking about what to study. Lou wanted Cole to pursue arts, but he felt his calling was something closer to teaching. He was the only one, besides Jay, to finish their training with Sensei Wu, reaching the highest belt possible, and getting the opportunity to become a teacher.
- I can't wait. - Jay said, tapping his feet.
Cole was relatively calm, knowing all of that was already handed by Lou. Jay, on the other hand, insisted on things by himself. Bringing everything together in less than a week and waiting for the college to open.
- You made me wake up at 5 am for this, Jay, we couldn't have come at a more decent hour?
- Hush, Cole, I'm sure they'll be impressed by my timely manner.
That was not something colleges were really looking for, but Cole obliged with his silence. He looked at the time and then frowned.
- Ja.
- Yes?
- I'm sure they will, but why don't you consider coming on a Monday?
- What? It's Monday, you dumbass.
Jay looked at his phone for the first time since he woke up and saw the date. It was Sunday.
- FUCK.
Jay screamed at the top of his lungs, Cole laughing with all his lungs gave him the capacity of. Jay still managed to maintain the papers in a good state and left them aside before hitting Cole on the arms and body for laughing at him.
- Why didn't you tell me that sooner!?
- Because I just followed you! You barely let me put a hoodie on.
Jay kicked a rock and it ricocheted back at him, hitting him in the head. Cole kept laughing while he got closer to Jay.
- Stop, you'll just hurt yourself.
- Idiot. - Jay grumbled while Cole checked his forehead. Jay looked at Cole, the way he was checking if he was really hurt felt... different. It felt nice, it felt like he really didn't have to feel too ashamed of his misstep.
- We'll come back tomorrow, okay? Don't worry.
Jay felt weirdly comforted and just nodded. Hearing Nya calling him, asking where he was. Cole just left Jay on his call, hearing a laugh coming from the phone too, then something that made Jay jumpy all of a sudden.
- Shit, you're right! - He said, looking at Cole and then going back to the phone. - Thanks babe, I'll call you later, kay? Bye, bye, love you, bye.
Jay looked back at Cole, who was looking at Jay like he had a frog on his mouth.
- What is it now? You gonna drag my ass somewhere else?
- Actually, yeah, there was something else I was supposed to do today.
Jay took Cole's arm and they walked a couple of blocks away from the college, Cole looked around, looking at university students coming and going. He recognized this part of the city as the zone where mostly students were renting to study near their colleges.
Jay asked for something in the reception, then took some keys and dragged Cole to the third floor. He opened up the door with his keys and inside, was an already filled and fit room that only seemed to miss someone else's stuff.
- Here, we got it at a good price. Dad is friends with the owner, so we got the biggest room available. I moved in yesterday.
We huh. He probably meant he and Nya.
- When is Nya moving in?
- Nya? You're the one who's missing dude.
Cole opened his eyes wide, looking back and then back at Jay.
- Dude?
- Your college is a fifteen minute walk from here, so it's better than taking the bus, and, aaaaand. - Jay added. - Mom and Dad already asked you dad about it, and he agrees! So, I just needed to show you the place so you wouldn't say no.
Jay wanted to live. With him.
- I- Uh- I'm-
- Nanana big guy, don't play dumb now, come, let's drink something and spend the rest of the day, we can get your stuff later.
Jay pushed Cole inside, Cole turning around and hugging Jay tightly.
- Dude, stop! - Said Jay laughing.
Cole looked at Jay with a smile, before his eyes instinctively went to Jay's feet. He crouched down and tied his shoes.
Cole moved in with Jay the next day after going with him to get him in his college. And every day was almost like a sleepover like they used to have when they were kids. Again and again, they had fun together, spending time together, meeting with Kai, Nya, Zane, Lloyd, Vania, Skylor and any other new friends they made.
Every day, at the same hour, Cole made sure that Jay's shoes were neatly tied. It was almost part of their routine at that point. Every time something important happened, Jay had Cole tie his shoes. It was like a ritual, or a lucky charm for them.
Nya noticed this, everyone noticed this, and they knew that Cole liked Jay in some way or the other. Nya tried to talk about this with Jay in the sublimest way she could, but Jay would always think that it was him not being enough for her, or putting his insecurities and fear of abandonment before anything else.
Nya loved Jay, yes, but she saw him way more happy with Cole. And it's not like she was going to hate Jay for liking the boy he met when they were kids, either. She understood.
- You know Jay, I've been thinking about it.
- Yes, love?
- I think I'm bi.
Jay stayed silent for a second, then just hugged Nya.
- Hey, I still love you the same, okay? Girls are cute after all, just like you.
- Jay, stooop. - She said while he smothered her with kisses.
- Jay... um, also, I have a question.
Jay's grip felt a little bit tighter.
- Y-yes?
- Do you think... that you might... also be bi?
Jay's grip felt weak again and he laughed. Shaking his head.
- Nah, nah, I don't think so, dudes are cool I guess, but not like, thaaat good looking? They're not girls.
- Well, I do think they're good looking.
- Well, I mean, depends, there are people who anyone would say they're handsome, like- like-
- Scott? - Jay couldn’t hide the small blush that formed when he heard that name. Scott was a boy he met online, they played together from time to time, and he was really handsome.
- Yeah! He's so good looking.
Nya gave Jay a knowing smile.
- Okay! Okay! Listen, I don't know, I need to... think about it, but I never had to really question it since I always had you.
- Aww, that's sweet, but don't let me stop you from trying something new. We can always try something more open-ish.
- You want to meet other people? - Said Jay, a little offended and looking like a wet dog.
- No! No, Jay, all I am saying is that you always were so closed off, it's not bad to try something new again, I'll always be here for you, okay? - Nya kissed his cheek.
- Alright. - He said, looking at the time. - Ah! I got to see Cole.
Nya watched Jay crouch down for a second before almost sprinting out of the door. Weird.
Cole and Jay spent the rest of the evening talking, playing video games, studying in silence until their eyes almost falling off.
Jay was drinking the last of his energy drink when he throwed himself in the blue puff next to Cole's.
- Dude... I can't read another line, if I have to do a single calculation, my head is going to explode.
- Same. - Admitted Cole. - I hate every single author in existence.
They looked at the ceiling, tiredness getting the worst of them.
- Nya told me she 's bi.
- Cool.
- She asked me if I was bi.
- And?
- I think I might be.
- Cool.
- Are you bi?
- I'm gay, I think.
- Really?
- Yeah, I... there's a dude, he goes for arts mayor, he... uh, I think he likes me.
- Who?
- Geo, I think.
- Ah, that dude.
- Yeah.
- Do you like him?
Cole thought about it for a second.
- I like someone else.
- I see.
- Mhm.
- Nya asked me if we could be open.
- Shit, for real?
- Yeah, I'm not going to do that, though.
- That 's fair.
They stared at the ceiling a little more, their eyelids heavy, and their breaths shorter and shorter, sleep falling upon them.
- Dude, Jay.
- Yeah?
- Why don't you, uh, tie your own laces?
- I know how to tie my shoelaces, I just like it when you do it.
After saying that Cole felt like he suddenly wasn't sleepy after twelve hours of continuous study. Jay fell asleep right after that.
Cole got up the puff like he could and, almost desperately, took some of his things and went to Zane's place, which was on the same building but a floor down.
- It's... very late in the night, Cole, what do you need? - Asked the dark skinned young man, looking sleepy.
- Can I stay here? And talk.
- Sure, I'll make some chocolate.
Zane let Cole crash on his sofa, looking like he just saw a ghost. The smell of the chocolate and the additional marshmallows that Zane went out of his way to put in Cole's was heavenly.
- What is the-
- I think I'm in love with Jay fucking Walker.
Zane was about to drink his hot cocoa when he left the whole mug in the table.
- And?
- And I don't know! What am I supposed to do!?
- You can stay the night.
Cole appreciated that a lot. He slept there one day. Two days. A week. A month.
Eventually, he silently moved to Zane's department. He avoided Jay like he was the plague, and he didn't know what to do anymore whenever he tried to talk to him. Every time he saw Jay, his shoes were tied.
The exams were coming up, and Jay couldn't keep it up, he just let himself drop on the bed alongside Nya, who had already given up and was looking at stuff on the phone. He felt like the world was missing from him.
- Nya, sweetie.
- yes, bluebird?
- I do like men.
- Taught as much. - she said simply, looking at him.
- I... I want to try to kiss men, sometime, if that's fine with you?
- I would really like to not have to think about this now. - She admitted. - I'm done with exams.
- Are you done with me?
- Maybe being in the same career and in the same subjects was a mistake.
- I'm inclined to agree, we can never get to do something, but you help me a lot.
- You also help me a lot too.
- But maybe...
- Maybe we need to focus on our studies and then see what happens next, yes.
- Yes, yes, we're on the same page.
- So...
- So... let's take a break, and try to see where we go.
- Either way, you'll always be my friend, okay Jay?
Jay hugged Nya, giving her one last kiss.
- You're the most wonderful woman that ever stepped on earth.
- I know.
- I also think I like Cole.
- I know. - She said, this time smiling.
- But he seemed to have run away from me.
- He didn't. - She assured me. - He probably feels the same, everyone knows that.
Jay, excitedly, jumped off the bed.
- Really!?
- Yeah, I mean, he definitely likes men, there's a guy, Geo I think. - He remembered that name. - They seem to be kind of a thing now. But Cole doesn't seem to pay him too much attention.
- What!? No! Fuck, I need to go talk to him.
- Wait, Jay! Your department is fifteen blocks away! Jay! Can I use your resume at least!?
Jay kept running like he had no other business. He ran, watching the lights of the night make a path for himself to get to Cole.
He remembers when he met Cole. He remembered the first time they held hands, when they talked about Nya, when he appeared every single time he needed him. Did he really not realize this sooner? He loved Cole. He fucking loved him so fucking much, and every step he did was like he was cared of losing him.
He recognized the blocks around him, and he started running even harder.
He wanted to change so much for others, for Nya, for his parents, but Cole never seemed to think that he needed to change. He never expected him to talk, to do stuff he didn't want to, or to eat the food that had a weird feeling on his tongue.
He saw his building right on the corner of his eyes.
Every day with him studying felt successful, every game finished, every achievement, it felt like they did it together, like a team, player 1 and player 2. Every smile and laugh felt even more weightful.
He entered the building and reached Zane's floor.
He thought about what to say, what excuse to give, but he could only look down at his shoes in shame for not realizing sooner.
A knock on the door was heard in Zane's department, Cole telling Zane that he was going to get it, letting his reading glasses aside. He walked with lazy steps before opening the door.
He looked at a tired, panting and red faced Jay walker, his hair curly as ever and his freckles looking even more cute. His eyes were glistening in the light of Zane's department.
Cole didn't know what to say, the only thing he managed to do was look down at the Ground.
Jay had his shoelaces untied.