Chapter Text
Rodrick took a drag from Bill’s joint before passing it back to the man. Sure, it was weird this fully grown adult hung out with kids his age, but Rodrick didn’t care as long as he got free dope out of it. The underside of the bleachers they stood beneath were caked with chewed gum and sharpied obscenities and Rodrick wondered if Bill was even allowed to be on the high school campus during school hours. He itched his hip where his gym shorts rubbed uncomfortably. This school was too damn cheap to provide gym clothes of actual quality and the stupid fabric was so fucking itchy. Bill took a drag and gave a deep cough of smoke. “Hell yeah, man, this shit is fire, right?”
Rodrick smirked, “Yeah, man.”
“Hey, are we still good for practice tomorrow night at yours?” Bill asked.
Löded Diper had practice every Saturday night in the Heffley’s garage, much to the Heffleys’ dismay. Rodrick didn’t care if his parents hated his band, he and the boys were totally punk rock. “Hell yeah, dude. You been working on a new song?”
Bill nodded and passed the joint back to Rodrick. As he took the last drag, Rodrick’s eyes caught sight of movement at the edge of the football field. Whatever Bill said next fell on deaf ears as Regina George took over Rodrick’s attention; long, blonde hair, piercing, blue eyes, and the sweetest rack he’d ever seen ran the length of the field in slow motion. She was grinning as she ran, glancing over her shoulder at the other girls in their gym class. Oh my god, was she running in slow motion? Rodrick’s head turned as she passed him and his knees buckled as he caught sight of her backside. “Yeah, I’d tap that too, brother,” Bill said and Rodrick was instantly brought back to reality.
“What the fuck, Bill? You’re like 35,” he spat.
“I’m a young man at heart,” He wiggled his brows at Rodrick.
“That’s fucked up man. Like actually fucking nasty," he scoffed and put the joint out on the ground under his shoe. "You know what, I gotta head back to class,” he replied as began to walk away.
From behind, Bill said, “Whatever dude, don’t be age-ist.”
Though he didn’t turn around, Rodrick knew Bill was holding up his hands in the “Rock On” symbol, his ill-fitting shirt letting his hairy belly hang out of the bottom hem. Rodrick rolled his eyes at the mental image and began to jog onto the field. He came to a stop next to Regina and put his hands on his hips as he grinned down at her. “Hey, Gina,” he teased.
Regina shot him a glare, her eyes pulling away from the students passing the soccer ball back and forth. “No,” she simply said, then moved away from him.
“What?” Rodrick asked, his brows knitting together at being shut down so quickly.
“You reek,” she threw the words over her shoulder as she stalked away.
Rodrick lifted an arm to sniff his armpit and was suddenly struck by the soccer ball and was moved off his feet from the sudden impact. From the ground, through a wince, Rodrick could see Regina and her stupid friends giggling at him. He let out a deep sigh and let his head hit the grass again in embarrassment.
Regina dug through her locker furiously to find her lipgloss. She was going to be late to English class if she didn’t find it soon, but she refused to have dry lips for the entire period, especially if she had to sit anywhere near Aaron Samuels. For just a short summer break, their separation seemed to be lasting a whole lot longer than summer. Whatever, she thought, I can have literally whoever I want.
But it stung, knowing that he broke it off and didn’t want her back. Not yet, at least. Her hands brushed the tube of lipgloss and she grinned as she unscrewed the cap to reapply. Regina looked into the mirror taped to the inside of her locker as the brush slid across her full, pink lips. She used her finger to wipe away the excess as the halls emptied around her, but she didn’t notice. Her thoughts were swimming around the night Aaron dumped her. Then, the bell rang. Letting out a disgruntled scoff, she slammed her locker shut and began to quickly strut down the empty halls toward English class.
“How nice of you to join us, Miss George,” Mrs. Crawford said over her tortoise shell glasses.
Regina gave a sarcastic smile as she shuffled to the only empty seat remaining, two rows behind Aaron. Fuck, whatever! She sunk into the hard plastic chair and crossed her legs.
“As I was saying, class,” Mrs. Crawford droned on, “this semester’s project will be thirty percent of your final grade, so make sure you keep in contact with your partners throughout the time period. There will be--”
Regina perked up at the idea of a partnered project. That would be a perfect way to get Aaron to talk to her again, to convince him to get back with her. Oh my god, it was so perfect. Sitting forward, she waited for Mrs. Crawford to tell them to choose partners. She would gun it, make a beeline for him and flip her hair or purse her lips or something! He was hers again if she played her cards right, she just knew it.
That would’ve been too easy, of course, and the disappointment settled in her chest quickly as Mrs. Crawford pulled out a small bucket. “Here, I have your names all written down and I’ll pull two sheets at a time.”
Regina tried to will Aaron to look at her, as if he did, Mrs. Crawford would magically pull their names out together. A few groups were made before she called out Aaron’s name and Regina sat on the edge of her seat as the second paper was unfolded. “Aaron Samuels, your partner will be…”
Please. Please. Please! Regina was practically begging the universe.
“Melissa!”
Well, shit. This was going to ruin everything. Melissa has had a crush on Aaron since seventh grade and Regina watched as their eyes met and Melissa giggled. Nothing could be worse than this, probably.
“Regina, your partner will be…”
Karen had yet to get her project partner and Regina would just make her switch with Melissa. Yes, that could work. She would pry Aaron from Melissa’s unmanicured hands. But then, Mrs. Crawford called out the second name, her assigned partner, and it was so much worse than she thought. “Rodrick Heffley.”
Fuck me, Regina thought and her eyes darted across the room to see Rodrick already wiggling his fingers at her in a mock wave. She deflated instantly. Anyone but that stupid, hedonistic asshole. Regina raised her hand in the air, ready to protest, but Mrs. Crawford shot her down. “No, Miss George, you cannot change project partners.”
Regina rolled her eyes and put her hand back down and she glanced at Rodrick again. He grinned smugly and pursed his lips with a mock kissing gesture.
Disgusting.
Once the class had ended, Regina shot out of her seat like a bat out of hell and made a break for her car. Today sucked the life out of her, she felt the aggression building in her sternum as her heels clicked noisily on the tiled floor. “Wait up!” Rodrick called from behind her.
Oh my god, as if!
She sped up, but his long, gangly legs carried him to her in long strides. “Can’t outrun me, Princess,” Rodrick teased.
“Watch me,” she snarled back, her hands pushing open the heavy, metal doors as sunlight hit her face.
“C’mon, don’t be a tease.” She ignored him.
He tried again, “Giiina, I need you for this grade.”
Regina halted in the parking lot and spun around to face him, an unsuspecting Rodrick stumbled so as to not run into her. She glared at him, hoping her eyes would stab little knives into his stupid face. Rodrick just grinned down at her, his hand gripping the strap of his backpack that rested on his right shoulder. “Since when do you care about getting a good grade, Heffley?”
He shrugged, “Since now. You, I’ve turned over a new leaf--I’m a changed man, princess.”
Regina held back a gag, “Don’t call me that.”
Rodrick cocked his head to the side, “What? Princess? Don’t you have that on a t-shirt?”
She rolled her eyes and stepped backwards, turning on her heel to get into her car. Seconds away from telling him to fuck off, the words died in her throat as she watched Aaron smile at Melissa, their phones passing between brushing fingers as they exchanged numbers. Melissa giggled and Aaron shyly glanced at his feet. When his eyes met Regina’s, she felt a pang in her stomach before resolve settled.
Regina turned back around to face Rodrick Heffley, sickly sweet this time as she gave him an unserious smile, tilting her head and twirling her hair around her pointer finger. “You know what, Heffley, I do have that on a t-shirt,” she sighed, opening her hand between them, “Here, give me your phone.”
Quickly, as if the chance might disappear, Rodrick fumbled for his phone before nearly dropping it in her hand. Regina entered her contact information into his phone and then handed it back to him. “Shoot me a text tonight and we can go over the project,” she said, then glanced back over her shoulder.
Rodrick gripped his phone like it was made of gold, then looked up to follow her gaze. Aaron Samuels was standing next to Melissa, but his eyes were trained on the pair of them standing next to Regina’s car.
Rodrick understood, now. Rumor had it that Aaron dumped Regina over the summer and now, standing in the school parking lot, Rodrick could see what she was doing. She was trying to use Rodrick to make her ex jealous.
Regina got into her car and let the top of the convertible down. She gave Rodrick a side-eye, probably wondering why he was still standing there. With one more glance towards Aaron, Rodrick did something reckless.
Leaning down, Rodrick put both hands on the open window to her car door and pushed his face close to hers. She jerked back, “What the fuck do you think---”
“Shut up,” Rodrick hurried out.
To his surprise it worked. Regina blinked in surprise, but she didn’t protest. From this angle, Rodrick knew Samuels could only see him leaning against her car, not her reaction to what he was saying. He knew he was lucky she didn’t scream at him or run over his foot, so he had a limited amount of time before she came to her senses. “I know what you’re doing. You had me going there, Princess, but I see your game.” Rodrick cocked his head to the side, “I wanna play.”
“What?” Regina squinted her eyes at him.
“Your little make-samuels-jealous game. I wanna play,” He clarified.
She looked at him skeptically, “Why would you do that?”
He shrugged. Her car engine hummed in the silence between them before she said, “Fine. Yes, that’s what I was doing. But don’t expect me to apologize, ‘cause I won’t.”
Rodrick snorted, “Oh I know you won’t. I don’t care. I’m trying to tell you I’ll help.”
“Forget it,” Regina said and put her car into reverse.
“Hold on, Princess,” He said and she kept her foot on the brake pedal. “You want him back and I can help, I just need a little favor in return.”
“I’m not having sex with you,” she stated firmly.
Rodrick pursed his lips in mock offense, “I never said anything about that! Get your pretty head out of the gutter, Princess. No, what I want is for people to come to my band’s show. Once they hear us play, they’ll be totally blown away by how punk rock we are. I just need you to convince people to show up. You make Samuels jealous, I get a horde of new fans that become groupies-- see? It’s a win-win!”
Regina sat silent for a moment, letting his logic wash over her. For fuck’s sake, he was making some sense. It wouldn’t be that hard to convince people to come to one of his stupid shows, even if they sucked. Besides, making Aaron jealous was a sure-fire way to get him back. It’s like that thing that guys do where they only want you when they don’t have you-- he’ll realize his mistake and come crawling back. Yes, it was perfect.
“I’ll think about it,” was her reply, “Now get off my car, Dipshit.”
He raised his hands and stood up, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. Rodrick turned away and began to walk, but Regina called him back, “Heffley!”
Rodrick stopped and glanced back lazily, like a cat who’s just caught a mouse. “Seriously, why would you do that for me?”
He snickered and threw a wink her way, “Bragging rights.”